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Have you ever changed your mind?
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Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?
What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?
Or do first impressions usually stick? |
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I have changed my mind in the past.
Maybe it's just how they have taken their photos or something but when I've bumped into them in a club and chatted, they have been totally different to my perception of them from their photos and words.
It's really hard to judge people based on a profile or few photos. But we all do it.
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"I have changed my mind in the past.
Maybe it's just how they have taken their photos or something but when I've bumped into them in a club and chatted, they have been totally different to my perception of them from their photos and words.
It's really hard to judge people based on a profile or few photos. But we all do it.
"
That's exactly why I try not to judge too quickly. Some people are terrible at selling themselves online but have amazing personality and chemistry in person. |
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No, If I find someone attractive and would like to get to know them, from the beginning.
I'm shit at reading signal so I sometime assume they have changed their minds.
This is one of the reasons I don't like simple messaging. |
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A couple of times but that's when they've messaged me first. I don't go by photos alone because they don't tell you the whole story, nor do I take what they've written on their profile as gospel.
From experience their true personality, quirks and traits emerged from deep and meaningful conversations.
The above are exceptions, however. |
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More often the other way round - the profile is eye-catching and attractive then in the chat/messages there is no chemistry and we clearly don't click. I try not to waste anyone's time in such circumstances. |
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My first instincts are usually spot on but a few times I've started chatting to someone I thought was on the same wavelength only to discover after a few messages that they were completely unhinged. |
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"A couple of times but that's when they've messaged me first. I don't go by photos alone because they don't tell you the whole story, nor do I take what they've written on their profile as gospel.
From experience their true personality, quirks and traits emerged from deep and meaningful conversations.
The above are exceptions, however. "
Sounds like you've had a few pleasant surprises.
Do you think deep conversations reveal compatibility, or do they just make people more attractive? |
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"A couple of times but that's when they've messaged me first. I don't go by photos alone because they don't tell you the whole story, nor do I take what they've written on their profile as gospel.
From experience their true personality, quirks and traits emerged from deep and meaningful conversations.
The above are exceptions, however.
Sounds like you've had a few pleasant surprises.
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Do you think deep conversations reveal compatibility, or do they just make people more attractive?"
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I would say both. Attractiveness isn't just visual. I mean it is, undeniably, but it's just one facet. |
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"First impressions usually stick although some people have grown on me where others I've come to dislike after initially thinking they were hot."
I can relate to the second part. Personality has a way of either amplifying attraction or completely killing it. Looks only get someone so far |
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"
Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?
What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?
Or do first impressions usually stick?"
No. Because if I/we have thought someone is 'not for me' then we'd not reach the chatting stage
Do people actually start chatting to profiles that they don't find interesting or attractive?
Seems odd to me. 🤷♂️
Obi |
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Not really because we haven't met loads of people to really compare.
We have met great people then later found their profiles to be less impressive than them, but for those people, they are life of the party at clubs and socials and are doing just fine with meeting people and having fun, so probably don't need to use the profile to meet.
We have been also told at all the socials we've been to that we're basically doing a terrible job with our online profile, and people we're (pleasantly) surprised to meet us IRL... We're mostly ok with that as we want the detail in the write up (as it lessens wasted time messaging - proven to work) and we don't want too revealing pictures, more just to give a flavour of us. |
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By *sm265Woman 1 week ago
Perthshire |
"
Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?
What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?
Or do first impressions usually stick?"
I'm very unlikely to be chatting to them at all if the profile didn't appeal to me in some way.
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"
Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?
What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?
Or do first impressions usually stick?
No. Because if I/we have thought someone is 'not for me' then we'd not reach the chatting stage
Do people actually start chatting to profiles that they don't find interesting or attractive?
Seems odd to me. 🤷♂️
Obi"
Fair point. I suppose the difference is between "not attractive" and "not interesting". For me, attraction can grow once I've got to know someone's humour and personality, whereas a profile only tells part of the story |
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"
Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?
What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?
Or do first impressions usually stick?"
No |
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"Not really because we haven't met loads of people to really compare.
We have met great people then later found their profiles to be less impressive than them, but for those people, they are life of the party at clubs and socials and are doing just fine with meeting people and having fun, so probably don't need to use the profile to meet.
We have been also told at all the socials we've been to that we're basically doing a terrible job with our online profile, and people we're (pleasantly) surprised to meet us IRL... We're mostly ok with that as we want the detail in the write up (as it lessens wasted time messaging - proven to work) and we don't want too revealing pictures, more just to give a flavour of us."
That's made me rethink the whole point of a profile. Maybe the best profile isn't necessarily the one that gets the most attention, but the one that attracts the right attention and filters out the people you're unlikely to click with. I actually quite like the idea of leaving a little mystery for the real-life meeting. 😉 |
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By *i de BiCouple 6 days ago
Lower Normandy |
If the past we used to attend socials in the Midlands, the list of attendees was always on the forum.
Always had a browse to see who might take our fancy to chat / meet . Also who to avoid lol .
But we struck up a great connection with a couple and after the social looked at their profile and though we would never of met them just from that . We have been friends now 20 years |
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By *iver78Man 6 days ago
barton upon humber |
I have thought someone is is a knob via text o ly to meet them and find there actually ok , text messages can often come across odd , iv had a few occasions when iv met someone and they have said im nothing like they thought I was judging by my text , I use emojis a lot because my mates say they can never judge my my mood over texts . But its worked the other way too 🤣 especially one lady who sounded so sweet and cheerful over messages and even over the phone and she was " horrible ' in real life lol |
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I was close to meeting a nice older guy, he was going to get a hotel and everything planned.. I read more of his verifications and found out that he was bi. He said that he was straight, I was so upset as I don't want to meet bi guys and especially not if they say that they are straight. I told him and deleted him💋 |
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By *eyeYCouple 6 days ago
Nr Leicester |
Yes, both ways!
Eg, a couple we were not overly interested in online.. Met at an event and got on famously, both in the bar and playroom 😉😈
And a couple who'd played with friends (who told us they were hot and 'introduced' us online) theoretically exactly our type..
Met them at another event and they bored us senseless. Made our excuses and got promptly blocked 🤷😉 |
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"
Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?
What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?
Or do first impressions usually stick?"
We have changed our minds multiple times, after meeting someone in person. We only play in clubs and don’t pre arrange meets with guys from her, there have been many a time we’ve been messaged and thought no thank you, only to see them in person and actually play with them.
We’ve also met a couple of people in a club early on including couples who we didn’t find attractive straight way. Then we see them publicly playing and our perception 100% changed. Watching a couple having sex or being involved in group play is so hot to watch and for us, sometimes it makes them incredibly attractive, where we didn’t think that before.
This is why we don’t bother meeting from here anymore and only play in clubs, much higher success rate. |
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"On real life I've changed my mind about people many times and not always in their favour "
This is also true, we have seen profiles and thought wow if we ever meet them, then we need to try and play with them, then seen or spoke to them in person and just thought, god no |
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We have also played with people, normally guys at a club and gone to give them a veri. When looking at their profile, have thought that had we not met them in a club, we 100% would not have met them from looking at their profile. |
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"
Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?
What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?
Or do first impressions usually stick?
We have changed our minds multiple times, after meeting someone in person. We only play in clubs and don’t pre arrange meets with guys from her, there have been many a time we’ve been messaged and thought no thank you, only to see them in person and actually play with them.
We’ve also met a couple of people in a club early on including couples who we didn’t find attractive straight way. Then we see them publicly playing and our perception 100% changed. Watching a couple having sex or being involved in group play is so hot to watch and for us, sometimes it makes them incredibly attractive, where we didn’t think that before.
This is why we don’t bother meeting from here anymore and only play in clubs, much higher success rate. "
Great example of how attraction isn't always instant. Sometimes you need to see the person in their element before you realise they're actually your type. |
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"I met a couple at a social who I had previously thought, yeah, we'd get on but in reality it was just a no. He was an absolute dickhead but she was still hot though 🤣"
Yes I have met people and then after a while just stopped , said it’s not for me left Things can just zone me out quickly with some people. |
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"
Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?
What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?
Or do first impressions usually stick?"
A number of years ago we had a chap message a few times,Mrs wasn't really interested, until at a social one time he introduced himself and found he was a bloody great guy and ended up being a regular player mate. |
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"
Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?
What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?
Or do first impressions usually stick?
We have changed our minds multiple times, after meeting someone in person. We only play in clubs and don’t pre arrange meets with guys from her, there have been many a time we’ve been messaged and thought no thank you, only to see them in person and actually play with them.
We’ve also met a couple of people in a club early on including couples who we didn’t find attractive straight way. Then we see them publicly playing and our perception 100% changed. Watching a couple having sex or being involved in group play is so hot to watch and for us, sometimes it makes them incredibly attractive, where we didn’t think that before.
This is why we don’t bother meeting from here anymore and only play in clubs, much higher success rate.
Great example of how attraction isn't always instant. Sometimes you need to see the person in their element before you realise they're actually your type."
100% which is why we don’t meet guys from here because in our experience, meeting guys in person and having a choice it’s much more successful |
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Nope if we don't get the vibe from the profile its a non starter
We've had the reverse where we liked the profile and started chatting then changed our minds as they turned out to not be the person we thought |
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No because I wouldn't chat with them if I didnt like their profile! There has been guys at clubs I've met that I would have never have met had i read their profile as they came across so different in real life! |
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My mind has a weird “3 strikes and I’m out” rule, I can be vibing with someone and see how the conversation goes no matter the first impression as it can sometimes be a subjective bad first message, but the second I hit 3 on things that either I’m not sure about or don’t agree with, then I’ll just wish them a good one and halt the conversation.
Maybe a little shallow? But equally if there are quickly 3 clangers that knock the conversation off the tracks then it’s probably best not to invest anymore time with each other. |
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"
Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?
What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?
Or do first impressions usually stick?"
Yes actually twice. Recently took a chance on a spontaneous coffee meet with someone I'd discounted and he was super hot 🔥 🥵
I was just bored at home and he messaged at the right time 🫣
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Ha, that's how we ended up together. She said I wasn't her type, we got talking about that and then I was here type and still am. Apparently. Of course, there may have been another added attraction which she didn't know about but then did. |
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"Ha, that's how we ended up together. She said I wasn't her type, we got talking about that and then I was here type and still am. Apparently. Of course, there may have been another added attraction which she didn't know about but then did. "
I love your second sentence "my type" haha |
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Ive had a few meets were in there profile, and whilst chatting they seem compatable but when face to face its a different story, and up there own arses. So i decided nothing was going to happen. As a male im not desperate. |
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