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Dirty Jokes

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By *gtSaffron OP   Man 6 days ago

Coventry

Tell us your dirtiest joke

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By *gtSaffron OP   Man 6 days ago

Coventry

A Sean Lock classic, love this one:

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Suck his cock.

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By *actile TensionMan 6 days ago

Sussex

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Because he couldn't get his knob out the chicken.

- Rik Mayall

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By *utensassy226Woman 6 days ago

Brixham

Vampire walks into a bar and asks for a mug of boiling water

Barman looks confused and asks 'Why water, dont Vampires drink blood?'

Vampire pulls out a used tampon and says 'Im making Tea'

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By *iCurious4WomenMan 5 days ago

Inverclyde

A guy matches with a woman on a dating app looking for a no-strings hookup. After a few dirty messages they agree to meet at his place that same night. She shows up, they skip the small talk, clothes come off fast, and she climbs on the bed, spreads her legs wide, and says, “Stick your fingers in my pussy, right now.”

He does. She’s moaning and grinding against his hand.

“Put a couple more in there, don’t be shy.”

He works in more fingers. She’s getting louder.“

Now shove your whole fucking fist in me.”

He pushes his entire hand inside her. There’s still room, so he’s curling his fingers, twisting his wrist, the works.

She’s panting hard and says, “Get your other hand in too.”

He slides the second one in right beside the first. Both arms are buried up to the elbows now.

She looks down at him, breathing heavy, and orders, “Clap for me.”

He tries. He shifts his hands around, searching for any space, struggling…

Finally he looks up, defeated, and says, “I can’t… I can’t clap.

”She smirks and says, “Pretty tight, huh?” 😏😂

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By *iCurious4WomenMan 5 days ago

Inverclyde

A husband goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I don't know if my wife has TB or VD "

The doctor replies, "Chase her around the bed. If she coughs, fuck her."

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By *iCurious4WomenMan 5 days ago

Inverclyde

A man has the words “I love you” tattooed to his cock, he goes home to his wife. The wife says “Stop trying to put words in my mouth,”.

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By *atural_born_thriller_xMan 5 days ago

cockwelwyn

The controversial sport of dwarf-tossing was invented by Snow White x

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