FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Ever worry you'll be recognised at a social?
Ever worry you'll be recognised at a social?
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Ideally, I'd love to go to more local socials, but I'm worried about coming across someone I know, or work with (hence why I go further away).
How do you deal with this? Not everyone buys into the discrete mantra. |
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"Ideally, I'd love to go to more local socials, but I'm worried about coming across someone I know, or work with (hence why I go further away).
How do you deal with this? Not everyone buys into the discrete mantra."
Happened on my first one. Walked in to find my aunt's ex partner there. We don't like each other so we sat on opposite sides of the room |
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"Ideally, I'd love to go to more local socials, but I'm worried about coming across someone I know, or work with (hence why I go further away).
How do you deal with this? Not everyone buys into the discrete mantra."
Part of me understands this but the bigger part of me really doesn't. I don't know why it would matter. They would be there for the same reasons and its a social, so no playing. They more than likely wouldn't bat an eyelid either. |
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By *xybumWoman 47 weeks ago
East Kilbride |
"Ideally, I'd love to go to more local socials, but I'm worried about coming across someone I know, or work with (hence why I go further away).
How do you deal with this? Not everyone buys into the discrete mantra."
Yawn! Who cares! If anyone recognises you then you are both In same boat yeh? Ignore and forget! End of. |
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"Ideally, I'd love to go to more local socials, but I'm worried about coming across someone I know, or work with (hence why I go further away).
How do you deal with this? Not everyone buys into the discrete mantra."
I would either run screaming from the place or totally brass neck it and just go right up to them with the patter.
Probably the latter then have a double vodka to calm the nerves  |
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"Ideally, I'd love to go to more local socials, but I'm worried about coming across someone I know, or work with (hence why I go further away).
How do you deal with this? Not everyone buys into the discrete mantra.
I would either run screaming from the place or totally brass neck it and just go right up to them with the patter.
Probably the latter then have a double vodka to calm the nerves "
That's why I go to Glasgow for your banter   |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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"How do you deal with this? Not everyone buys into the discrete mantra."
Wait. Are they there for a different reason that we don't know about? Take ownership and be you. |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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If it happens, just deal with it.
At the end of the day it's a social, and they're there for the exact same reason as you, so it'll only be awkward if you let it be x |
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Not always as straight forward as being there for the same reason
A few years ago a customer messaged me, thankfully he had a face pic on so I politely declined to chat which he politely accepted. At work this guy hates me so could quite easily make trouble for me. This doesn’t stop me going to socials but I don’t think I would risk going to a club in case he was there
If I met a friend/neighbour/colleague that wouldn’t scare me I would just have a laugh with them about it |
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""hey guys, you'll never guess who I saw at the swinging club last night"
Said no-one ever! "
I'll use they when I'm in work next...
Much prefer to hide in plain sight. If I meet someone I know I'd see how they reacted (if I get blanked then so be it) and just go with the flow. Ultimately we are all there for our own reasons, who's to know if I'm there for my first visit or I'm a regular without asking? Same for them, let the dialogue flow!
As to meeting work colleagues there, I'd only be miffed if they went to play with anyone I had my eye on while it was a strike out night for me. FOMO at its best. |
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"Not always as straight forward as being there for the same reason
A few years ago a customer messaged me, thankfully he had a face pic on so I politely declined to chat which he politely accepted. At work this guy hates me so could quite easily make trouble for me. This doesn’t stop me going to socials but I don’t think I would risk going to a club in case he was there
If I met a friend/neighbour/colleague that wouldn’t scare me I would just have a laugh with them about it "
What is the difference for you between a large social and going to club? Either one is going to be the same for them. |
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Interesting discussion.
Generally, I'll go to clubs, socials or meets well away from the Edinburgh/Fife area.
In my job, being recognised could cause immense issues for me, so, it's interesting to hear other people's views.
Not everyone is discreet, I know, to my cost  |
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"Interesting discussion.
Generally, I'll go to clubs, socials or meets well away from the Edinburgh/Fife area.
In my job, being recognised could cause immense issues for me, so, it's interesting to hear other people's views.
Not everyone is discreet, I know, to my cost "
The crux of the matter though is that in order to out you at work, they would have to out themselves also. No one will torpedo themselves willingly. |
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"We’re fortunate that we’ve only ever attended socials away from our local area.
Doubt very much that we’d go to a local one in case of being recognized "
Wish we had more local ones. Rare for Dundee |
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"Interesting discussion.
Generally, I'll go to clubs, socials or meets well away from the Edinburgh/Fife area.
In my job, being recognised could cause immense issues for me, so, it's interesting to hear other people's views.
Not everyone is discreet, I know, to my cost "
I think a lot of us could say similar. It's the same for many. All in the same boat. It's sad that society has folk feeling like this. It's nothing to be ashamed of. |
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Happened to me. Guy i played football with was there while his wife was playing etc and I eventually ended up playing with his wife…. (Not knowing)
He then made a big thing about at a training session and was obviously only at the club for the wife not himself… so put me off going to clubs for a while but got back on the wagon and tend to just avoid folk i know at clubs |
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Walked into after dark Edinburgh very first time, my cousins mate and pals !!! I recognise you haha then 2nd time guy that sort of works there, I had done his garden and he stays 2 mins away from me
Don’t care ! It’s gonna happen |
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"Interesting discussion.
Generally, I'll go to clubs, socials or meets well away from the Edinburgh/Fife area.
In my job, being recognised could cause immense issues for me, so, it's interesting to hear other people's views.
Not everyone is discreet, I know, to my cost
The crux of the matter though is that in order to out you at work, they would have to out themselves also. No one will torpedo themselves willingly."
Some people are more talkative than they should be  |
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I would find it hugely amusing if that happened, I’d be calling them depraved sexual monsters
You have to take this side of life with a slice of humour and playfulness. We are all sexual beings, it’s 2023 and people are fully empowered to explore.
I’d have my money on that Mark I was in Maths with. He had a pierced nipple at 13, kinky bugger! |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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"It's a social. They won't have to witness you shagging someone or parading around in the nude. I don't see why it'd be a problem x"
Although you might all be there for the same reasons some folk don't care who knows their business and others do. You don't need to be shagging, I wouldn't want people to know I'm on this site. Let's face it, according to society, it's more acceptable to have an affair than to watch your partner have sex with others. Swinging is frowned upon and also an interesting topic for folks not on the site to talk about.
I like my private life to remain private, every one of us know that even verified users blab, having attended a large social year's ago I witnessed quite a few folks there tell others outside the function room why we were all there. Then mobile phones came out and people were being filmed going in and out. I'd never attend one again. |
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"It's a social. They won't have to witness you shagging someone or parading around in the nude. I don't see why it'd be a problem x
Although you might all be there for the same reasons some folk don't care who knows their business and others do. You don't need to be shagging, I wouldn't want people to know I'm on this site. Let's face it, according to society, it's more acceptable to have an affair than to watch your partner have sex with others. Swinging is frowned upon and also an interesting topic for folks not on the site to talk about.
I like my private life to remain private, every one of us know that even verified users blab, having attended a large social year's ago I witnessed quite a few folks there tell others outside the function room why we were all there. Then mobile phones came out and people were being filmed going in and out. I'd never attend one again. "
That’s shocking people being filmed on the way into a social.
We are careful due to jobs. If you manage other people and meet a person you manage then you get into a strange power dynamic. People could manipulate that in a ‘Now I know your secret I was wondering about asking for a promotion’ way.
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"Not always as straight forward as being there for the same reason
A few years ago a customer messaged me, thankfully he had a face pic on so I politely declined to chat which he politely accepted. At work this guy hates me so could quite easily make trouble for me. This doesn’t stop me going to socials but I don’t think I would risk going to a club in case he was there
If I met a friend/neighbour/colleague that wouldn’t scare me I would just have a laugh with them about it
What is the difference for you between a large social and going to club? Either one is going to be the same for them. "
A social I am only out for a drink, a club takes it to another level. It’s just my personal opinion, a few friends and family know I am here, I’m not embarrassed by it but not sure how it would go down with bosses at work or my teenagers |
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By *avie65Man 47 weeks ago
In the west. |
If someone did reveal that you were on here, had been to a party or parties or went to a club and tried to use it against you would that be considered to be bl@ckmai1.
As mentioned above taking photos or videos could be the same as sharing nude photos without consent and get them on the register. I suppose some people don't think much further than their next cup of coffee. |
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"If someone did reveal that you were on here, had been to a party or parties or went to a club and tried to use it against you would that be considered to be bl@ckmai1.
As mentioned above taking photos or videos could be the same as sharing nude photos without consent and get them on the register. I suppose some people don't think much further than their next cup of coffee. "
If you took a picture of someone fully clothed at a social event for swingers and then shared on social media with a ‘Some pictures from the swinger event I attended’ comment would that really be considered breaking the law in a revenge porn way? If so what’s the difference between that and posting pictures at a gig of some of the crowd ? |
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By *avie65Man 47 weeks ago
In the west. |
"If someone did reveal that you were on here, had been to a party or parties or went to a club and tried to use it against you would that be considered to be bl@ckmai1.
As mentioned above taking photos or videos could be the same as sharing nude photos without consent and get them on the register. I suppose some people don't think much further than their next cup of coffee.
If you took a picture of someone fully clothed at a social event for swingers and then shared on social media with a ‘Some pictures from the swinger event I attended’ comment would that really be considered breaking the law in a revenge porn way? If so what’s the difference between that and posting pictures at a gig of some of the crowd ? "
I was thinking more about doing it as a way to demonise them because they were at an event related to swinging. |
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"Not always as straight forward as being there for the same reason
A few years ago a customer messaged me, thankfully he had a face pic on so I politely declined to chat which he politely accepted. At work this guy hates me so could quite easily make trouble for me. This doesn’t stop me going to socials but I don’t think I would risk going to a club in case he was there
If I met a friend/neighbour/colleague that wouldn’t scare me I would just have a laugh with them about it
What is the difference for you between a large social and going to club? Either one is going to be the same for them.
A social I am only out for a drink, a club takes it to another level. It’s just my personal opinion, a few friends and family know I am here, I’m not embarrassed by it but not sure how it would go down with bosses at work or my teenagers "
I've met you, and you're lovely, but I don't think I'd be comfortable at a social in Edinburgh. I'd love to go to the new socials, but it's Glasgow, Newcastle or further afield for me.....I just can't risk my career |
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"Interesting discussion.
Generally, I'll go to clubs, socials or meets well away from the Edinburgh/Fife area.
In my job, being recognised could cause immense issues for me, so, it's interesting to hear other people's views.
Not everyone is discreet, I know, to my cost "
I’m totally invested & want to know what you do now lol |
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"Interesting discussion.
Generally, I'll go to clubs, socials or meets well away from the Edinburgh/Fife area.
In my job, being recognised could cause immense issues for me, so, it's interesting to hear other people's views.
Not everyone is discreet, I know, to my cost
I’m totally invested & want to know what you do now lol "
I'm social agent OSO |
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