FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Friends wife. Need advice
Friends wife. Need advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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Just seen my mate’s wife on here. Really surprised, as they seem happy together and she’s always come across as very loyal. I know for a fact she doesn’t have permission, I have jnown him for years and knkw what his veiws are on relationships. He knows I am on fab and his veiw of fab isn't paticularly positive.
I’d never say anything, what happens on Fab stays on Fab, and I’d never out someone on here. Still feels wrong though, and it’s definitely making me rethink being on Fab.
I've not contacted her as I wouldnt want her to feel akward but shes checked my profile out quite a few times. Not sure if she recognises me but I think she might. Its such a shit situation because I feel bad for my friend.
Im thinking just block her, not mention it and try and forget or should I message and her and reassure her that I wont say anything, I dont want things to be akward and Im not sure if just blocking her will make things more alward and cause her to worry if she has recognised me.
Any advice? What should I do?
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By *enelope2UWoman 21 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
It's fab most people on here are lying in their personal lives already .
That goes for him and for her.
If you are his friend I'd suggest telling her you believe you know who she is and then mention it and block her.
If you are close as you say to your friend you'd mention that maybe he needs to sort his sexual relationship out.
I assume you also know deep down if your friend is also inadequate sexually for her possible needs. If he's such a stark stance to a wider kink view then that may be what's lacking in their sexual relationship. Some men don't communicate and hold resentment to pleasures that they directly don't create. She might like toys and bring watched and he feels that's EXTREME.
If you don't know that much detail about their sex life, then you don't know their situation as close as you think you do. My friends we talk about EVERYTHING sex included. Here no one does.
So I'd stick to the first suggestion and block her and carry on about your own business.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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I have known him since nursery. He is definitely not the type of person to do that. Also she is photo and meet verified by a few guys so I doubt my bearded friend would have passed as a woman lol. Im sure its her. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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I've known him since we were kids. Im talking nursery. We are close and hes very open when talking about sex. Lately though over the last year or 2 we havent seen as much of each other due to life and work.
I would never out anyone on fab as that is not right atall so she doesnt need to worry about that. I just feel really bad about the situation.
I dont want to message her and her to panic, thats why I was thinking about just blocking her but then again that could make her panic if she has noticed who I am and sees I've blocked her without mentioning it.
I dont want things to be akward in anyway because she is a lovely woman. Like you said though I might not know the situation.
Im just stuck because I dont want to make her feel uncomfortable atall. I also dont think anyone's relationship is my business even though he is a friend.
Life has got in the way over the last couple of years and we dont see each other anywhere near as much as we used to.
Its hard not feel in the wrong whatever I do.
Like I said I would absolutely never out her though because discretion is important to respect on fab |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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Iv blocked her. I wouldnt get involved and out her anyway. I just wasnt sure if I should block her or just not do anything. Decided to block and hope that its not akward in the future |
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By *avie65Man 21 weeks ago
In the west. |
OP what about unblocking her and doing a status update, along the lines of come into the forums if you like…
That may let her see what you are saying and she doesn’t have anything to worry about. She may want the reassurance that you will keep her confidence. And it may put your mind at ease. |
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You say you know for sure he doesn’t know because you are so close and been friends for so long. None of our friends know nor will ever know about our “alternative” lifestyle and I’m pretty sure none of them would believe that we would do anything like we do. I’m just saying maybe you’re right and she’s on here without his knowledge but at the same time nobody really knows what goes on in other peoples relationships. |
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By *enelope2UWoman 20 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"You say you know for sure he doesn’t know because you are so close and been friends for so long. None of our friends know nor will ever know about our “alternative” lifestyle and I’m pretty sure none of them would believe that we would do anything like we do. I’m just saying maybe you’re right and she’s on here without his knowledge but at the same time nobody really knows what goes on in other peoples relationships. "
Plenty people DO NOT Have fake lives.
It's called the lifestyle in the states for a reason..real lives real friends real relationships and full honesty.
The UK might still live in the dark ages but it's far from the standard |
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"You say you know for sure he doesn’t know because you are so close and been friends for so long. None of our friends know nor will ever know about our “alternative” lifestyle and I’m pretty sure none of them would believe that we would do anything like we do. I’m just saying maybe you’re right and she’s on here without his knowledge but at the same time nobody really knows what goes on in other peoples relationships.
Plenty people DO NOT Have fake lives.
It's called the lifestyle in the states for a reason..real lives real friends real relationships and full honesty.
The UK might still live in the dark ages but it's far from the standard "
And plenty of people do choose not to share the intimate details of their sex lives with close friends and family. Neither is wrong. My point is that just because he thinks his friend would share details with him nobody can ever know what goes on between two people in an intimate relationship apart from those two people |
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Glad you blocked her I had the same a few years ago. I actually confronted her face to face without my friend knowing.she was embarrassed at first but I said what you do in your life is nothing to do with me. N
Her reason for being in here was he didn’t satisfy her. I said I would
Block and never talk about it ever again . |
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“I’d never say anything …” - but I’ll put it on the Forum and make another Fab member feel very uncomfortable and potentially unsafe.
TBH - you come across as being a self-righteous attention-seeking nosey git. It’s got nothing to do with you, mind your own business.
If the lady needs extra in her life good luck to her! |
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"“I’d never say anything …” - but I’ll put it on the Forum and make another Fab member feel very uncomfortable and potentially unsafe.
TBH - you come across as being a self-righteous attention-seeking nosey git. It’s got nothing to do with you, mind your own business.
If the lady needs extra in her life good luck to her!"
This is some reply, the OP certainly didn’t seem to me as coming across as self righteous.
TBH you come across as someone who has no loyalty to anyone but himself. As you don’t care that the guys mrs is cheating and you wouldnt care if it was your own friend.
Personally I’d have told my friend. I’ve seen a few people reply that it’s kind of an unwritten rule what happens on fab stays on fab, the OP said it himself. Or that it’s none of his business and look plenty of profiles state that they are cheating on there partners and if I don’t know them then fire in cause that is definitely none of my business but a friend is a different scenario all together imo. If you seen your friends partner cheating on your friend in a pub or somewhere outside of fab would you still say nothing? |
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"“I’d never say anything …” - but I’ll put it on the Forum and make another Fab member feel very uncomfortable and potentially unsafe.
TBH - you come across as being a self-righteous attention-seeking nosey git. It’s got nothing to do with you, mind your own business.
If the lady needs extra in her life good luck to her!
This is some reply, the OP certainly didn’t seem to me as coming across as self righteous.
TBH you come across as someone who has no loyalty to anyone but himself. As you don’t care that the guys mrs is cheating and you wouldnt care if it was your own friend.
Personally I’d have told my friend. I’ve seen a few people reply that it’s kind of an unwritten rule what happens on fab stays on fab, the OP said it himself. Or that it’s none of his business and look plenty of profiles state that they are cheating on there partners and if I don’t know them then fire in cause that is definitely none of my business but a friend is a different scenario all together imo. If you seen your friends partner cheating on your friend in a pub or somewhere outside of fab would you still say nothing?"
Firstly, he doesn’t know if she is cheating or not - it may be with the friend’s consent or even his idea. That is if the situation is even real!
And even if the woman has decided to explore a bit more WTF has that got to do with him, me or you?
If he really wants to be a nosey prick, he can send her a private message and, depending on any response, thereafter he can decide what to do.
This is a site where people come to meet others and have fun - not to be judged by morons who are also on the site for exactly the same thing.
Absolutely none of my business what my mates or their ladies get up to |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"Unblock and go fuck her "
That definitely wont be happening. Under no circumstances would I go out my way to fuck a friend's wife behind his back. Its different if there's permission from the friend but if there's not then tbh your not a friend if you would do that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"“I’d never say anything …” - but I’ll put it on the Forum and make another Fab member feel very uncomfortable and potentially unsafe.
TBH - you come across as being a self-righteous attention-seeking nosey git. It’s got nothing to do with you, mind your own business.
If the lady needs extra in her life good luck to her!"
If you read the post, the reason I came on the forum to ask for advice was because she kept checking my profile out multiple times a day. I didnt know if I should message her and tell her I was going to block her and say that she had nothing to worry about because I would never mention anything about her being on here or just block her and act like ive never seen her on here to begin with which could make her panic, feel unsafe or worry if she notices I had just blocked her for what seemed like no reason.
If she has been on the forum and reads my post and my replies she will have her mind put at ease knowing that I would never ever say anything about her being on here.
Hardly attention seeking as this is the first post I have ever put on here asking for genuine advice so please do one.
And self righteous? Explain exactly? I posted for advice and made it clear that regardless I wouldn't ever tell anyone shes on here. Asking for advice in a situation your struggling with isn't being self righteous. Its asking should I reasure her over message that I wouldnt say anything and explain why im blocking her or should I block her straight away with no explanation.
I wasnt the one constantly checking her profile, she was checking mine out over and over constantly so hardly a nosey git for noticing it was a friends wife who I had been friends with since nursery and who was brought up with me more like a cousin than a friend.
Since posting this in the forum I have seen her twice in person when ive went over to my friends and both times she has gave me a hug when Iv arrived and has even gave me the odd wink and smile which I assume is her acknowledging that shes seen the forum and knows she doesnt have to worry
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"“I’d never say anything …” - but I’ll put it on the Forum and make another Fab member feel very uncomfortable and potentially unsafe.
TBH - you come across as being a self-righteous attention-seeking nosey git. It’s got nothing to do with you, mind your own business.
If the lady needs extra in her life good luck to her!
This is some reply, the OP certainly didn’t seem to me as coming across as self righteous.
TBH you come across as someone who has no loyalty to anyone but himself. As you don’t care that the guys mrs is cheating and you wouldnt care if it was your own friend.
Personally I’d have told my friend. I’ve seen a few people reply that it’s kind of an unwritten rule what happens on fab stays on fab, the OP said it himself. Or that it’s none of his business and look plenty of profiles state that they are cheating on there partners and if I don’t know them then fire in cause that is definitely none of my business but a friend is a different scenario all together imo. If you seen your friends partner cheating on your friend in a pub or somewhere outside of fab would you still say nothing?
Firstly, he doesn’t know if she is cheating or not - it may be with the friend’s consent or even his idea. That is if the situation is even real!
And even if the woman has decided to explore a bit more WTF has that got to do with him, me or you?
If he really wants to be a nosey prick, he can send her a private message and, depending on any response, thereafter he can decide what to do.
This is a site where people come to meet others and have fun - not to be judged by morons who are also on the site for exactly the same thing.
Absolutely none of my business what my mates or their ladies get up to"
He specifically said in the post he’s very close with his friend and he knows his friend is not into this life style what so ever.
As I said it’s none of my business or anyone’s business what people get up to on here in normal circumstances, but if I personally know the people involved and it would cause hurt to someone I care about that changes the situation dramatically. But obviously you don’t seem to have any friends that really mean that much to you at all. And maybe it’s different for me being from a small town as I have a small group of friends and we would all consider ourselves as close as brothers which also seems to be the OP case as they’ve been friends from nursery. Don’t know if you have a brother or sister but would you still not say anything if it was them?
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"
Since posting this in the forum I have seen her twice in person when ive went over to my friends and both times she has gave me a hug when Iv arrived and has even gave me the odd wink and smile which I assume is her acknowledging that shes seen the forum and knows she doesnt have to worry
"
Is she miss Marple or Jessica Fletcher?
Because I don't know how she'd know it was you from your profile |
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"“I’d never say anything …” - but I’ll put it on the Forum and make another Fab member feel very uncomfortable and potentially unsafe.
TBH - you come across as being a self-righteous attention-seeking nosey git. It’s got nothing to do with you, mind your own business.
If the lady needs extra in her life good luck to her!
This is some reply, the OP certainly didn’t seem to me as coming across as self righteous.
TBH you come across as someone who has no loyalty to anyone but himself. As you don’t care that the guys mrs is cheating and you wouldnt care if it was your own friend.
Personally I’d have told my friend. I’ve seen a few people reply that it’s kind of an unwritten rule what happens on fab stays on fab, the OP said it himself. Or that it’s none of his business and look plenty of profiles state that they are cheating on there partners and if I don’t know them then fire in cause that is definitely none of my business but a friend is a different scenario all together imo. If you seen your friends partner cheating on your friend in a pub or somewhere outside of fab would you still say nothing?
Firstly, he doesn’t know if she is cheating or not - it may be with the friend’s consent or even his idea. That is if the situation is even real!
And even if the woman has decided to explore a bit more WTF has that got to do with him, me or you?
If he really wants to be a nosey prick, he can send her a private message and, depending on any response, thereafter he can decide what to do.
This is a site where people come to meet others and have fun - not to be judged by morons who are also on the site for exactly the same thing.
Absolutely none of my business what my mates or their ladies get up to
He specifically said in the post he’s very close with his friend and he knows his friend is not into this life style what so ever.
As I said it’s none of my business or anyone’s business what people get up to on here in normal circumstances, but if I personally know the people involved and it would cause hurt to someone I care about that changes the situation dramatically. But obviously you don’t seem to have any friends that really mean that much to you at all. And maybe it’s different for me being from a small town as I have a small group of friends and we would all consider ourselves as close as brothers which also seems to be the OP case as they’ve been friends from nursery. Don’t know if you have a brother or sister but would you still not say anything if it was them?
"
Having just read the OP last reply, it would seem im own my own in this situation as he’s stated that he’s actually went to his friends house and been in both there company and just acted as everything is normal even with the wife giving acknowledging hints that she knows he knows. Personally I wouldn't be able to look my friend in the eye at this point and if I had decided not to acknowledge it would have been staying as far away as possible, especially as it seems like considering she has checked out his profile multiple times actually wants to get with him. Anyway each to their own I suppose hope everyone has a great new year. |
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Since posting this in the forum I have seen her twice in person when ive went over to my friends and both times she has gave me a hug when Iv arrived and has even gave me the odd wink and smile which I assume is her acknowledging that shes seen the forum and knows she doesnt have to worry
Is she miss Marple or Jessica Fletcher?
Because I don't know how she'd know it was you from your profile "
This made me laugh. Because this is definitely now starting to feel like an episode of miss Marple or Jessica Fletcher. Although I Doug either of them would have ever got to the bottom of this mystery lol. |
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"
Since posting this in the forum I have seen her twice in person when ive went over to my friends and both times she has gave me a hug when Iv arrived and has even gave me the odd wink and smile which I assume is her acknowledging that shes seen the forum and knows she doesnt have to worry
Is she miss Marple or Jessica Fletcher?
Because I don't know how she'd know it was you from your profile
This made me laugh. Because this is definitely now starting to feel like an episode of miss Marple or Jessica Fletcher. Although I Doubt either of them would have ever got to the bottom of this mystery lol."
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