It’s been a rough year and the start of 2026 is likely to get a lot worse before it gets better. Because of this my libido has been in the floor for most of the year, I’ve just not been interested. Recently however I’ve felt a few stirrings, and old fantasies and images have increasingly been coming to mind.
Specifically I’ve been thinking a lot about ass play, getting fucked, having my ass filled with nice thick toys or fingers and fists. I’ve been very lucky to have met some very willing partners to this in the past and I’ve been craving that again, even to the extent of thinking about getting fucked for real (Guy’s don’t get excited, this is very much a fantasy exercise). Despite this, I’ve struggled to feel enough desire to do much about it, even a wank was off the cards for a lot of this year.
I have a toy collection of some pretty substantial dildos etc and my mind has wandered increasingly to it, without ever quite building up the momentum to have another try. Part of this is because I like to make sure I’m super clean before I engage in anything like this, and well, that’s a bit of a faff at times.
A couple of days ago I was finally in the right mood…
I douched myself nice and clean and relaxed for an hour for everything to settle down then I went upstairs, stripped myself off and opened my toybox.
As I said, I have a fair few toys, mostly silicone and some gorgeous stainless steel ones, but the toy I was thinking about the most was a large Skrue by Godemiche. It’s satisfyingly thick with a twisting texture that feels subtly delicious as it’s pistoning in out of me (and my partners according to feedback).
I used some thin black rope to secure the wide base of the Skrue to a length of 2x4 wood that I’ve kept for just this purpose. I can put this on the floor which allows me to fuck myself hands free. I have plans for a better, more permanent solution but it’ll do for now.
With the toy secured I knew I’d need to warm up for its significant girth, so I grabbed another favourite, which is actually a stainless steel lemon squeezer – amazing what you can find and use from kitchenware stores… This has a delicately curved handle that is perfect for starters. While I was looking for this I also spotted my bright pink drool gag, also from Godemiche. Although I bought this to use on other people, I also get a kick from wearing it myself at times, so I thought in for a penny…
I opened my mouth and bit down on the soft, day-glow pink silicone then buckled it tightly behind my head. Almost immediately, as my breath rushed past it, I began to drool, the first streamers gathering at the corners of my mouth.
Kneeling on the towel I’d put down on the floor, my cock heavy with blood and starting to rise, I lubed up the handle of the lemon squeezer and angled it upwards towards my asshole, carefully guiding it home.
I sighed as the cool metal slipped easily inside me, almost immediately craving more than it could offer. After riding its widest point for a few slow thrusts I with drew it and grabbed the next largest option – the first toy I’d bought, a bright red, curved and ridged dildo that was a decent step up in girth.
I gasped as I tried to push this one in, immediately hitting the limit of my out of practice arse. I had to withdraw, let the pain subside and go again, and again, each time testing the limits further until it slid inside, eliciting a moan from me and fresh streamers of drool from my mouth.
I fucked myself with it for a minute or so, trying but not quite managing to get the right angle to hit my g-spot and then as ever, began to crave more. I knew I was ready to try the Skue now so I withdrew the red dildo and lubed up the next, deliciously textured and girthy toy. I also took the opportunity to spread some lube on my rock solid, pre-cum oozing cock.
I held the 2x4 the toy was attached to in one hand while stroking pleasure from my cock with the other and I sat back, lowering my eager asshole over the toy.
My breath came in quick gasps, pushing bubbles of drool from my gagged mouth as the thick dildo stretched me wide. There were glistening streamers of spit that dripped down onto my already lubed cock, adding to the slip and slide of it all.
I fucked myself, deep and hard, using my thighs to lift myself up and force myself down around the fake cock as it filled my asshole. The texture of the toy adding an added layer of pleasure to the already heady sensation of being filled right up.
I edged myself there, getting steadily messier with drool, my breathing ragged, my cock fit to burst. I imagined having someone tied up in front of me, forcing them to watch with greedy eyes as I pleasured myself.
As ever, I eventually wanted more, and after lifting myself from the Skrue I grabbed my thickest silicone toy, a girthy, 8 inch monster.
I lay down on the towel and again after applying liberal amounts of lube I forced this beast inside me, revelling in the stretch and the struggle the little bit of pain of it as my asshole took it inside.
Legs spread, fucking myself, wanking myself, on the edge of cumming, I revelled in the feeling of feeling alive again, the sensations and fantasies I’d forgotten over my long year of winter.
I drove myself onward, eventually crying out as my cum spattered all over my chest and belly, my arsehole spasming around its invader.
It felt wonderful to rediscover me again - now to rediscover other people as well...
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