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Help a girl out...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok guys looking for some help... what can I do to capture a guys mojo again, I am missing him so much 
Can you be more specific? Men are really very simple creatures....."
Wow sweeping statement. 
Don't tar all with the same brush.  |
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"Ok guys looking for some help... what can I do to capture a guys mojo again, I am missing him so much
Can you be more specific? Men are really very simple creatures.....
Wow sweeping statement.
Don't tar all with the same brush. "
oh come on, it is kind of true though  |
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By *ite OP Couple
over a year ago
Middlesbrough |
Guessing being together all day everyday has made me a bit less exciting...
No kids this week so tried a few things including sending him photos of me dressed up from upstairs while he is downstairs working, lots of kisses in bed and caressing him, steak dinner, flashing, telling him someone had asked me to join them for a walk and then yesterday I went to work (at home) dressed in full stockings, heels, pencil skirt and my glasses just to complete the secretary look x |
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It comes down to the person's individual personality and how they feel at a certain point in the day. The lockdown most likely has suppressed his feelings, perhaps once lockdown eases he'll be back to his old self! Everyone's different I for one enjoy the teasing and flirting! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guessing being together all day everyday has made me a bit less exciting...
No kids this week so tried a few things including sending him photos of me dressed up from upstairs while he is downstairs working, lots of kisses in bed and caressing him, steak dinner, flashing, telling him someone had asked me to join them for a walk and then yesterday I went to work (at home) dressed in full stockings, heels, pencil skirt and my glasses just to complete the secretary look x"
How long you guys been together? |
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You both need to talk. From reading what you have said you want/need sex and at the moment he is not being enticed when you are trying to entice him. There could be a thousand and one reasons why this is happening unless you ask him you will not find out why. |
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By *ite OP Couple
over a year ago
Middlesbrough |
We have done lots of talking. There is no pressure hence why nothing happens, I will dress up nice but leave it at that, if he wants it he will make a move I know that and I don't need sex enough to upset or hurt him i just miss him that's all x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He's probably affected by current virus uncertainty, take sex off the table , hold his hand in bed and out of bed, just simple things, if you're super horny either D.I.Y with or without him present |
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I feel for you, I’m in a similar position and it’s very hard to not feel like there’s a problem with me rather than something not right with him. I’ve tried to introduce some kinky play that we’ve enjoyed before this week to try and kick start his mojo a bit. It seemed to do the trick at first but think it’s wearing out now so back to the drawing board for me too. We’ve also talked about it and he’s not sure why it is.
Not sure what more you can do other than his favourite things but thought I’d share that you’re not alone!
One thing you could try though, find a movie that has lots of raunchy scenes in and have a movie night under the blanket with a few well timed rubs might do the trick! |
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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
You need an honest talk together and listen to him.
If he says he just isn't feeling it then you must let him have some space. Leave off the dressing up for him because if he isnt interested at the moment then that will put him under pressure.
But....he must also listen to you when you tell him how much you want him and how the lack of sex is making you feel.
Under the current situation many people aren't feeling their usual selves. It could just been down to this.
I sincerely hope this is just a blip for you both and you will be at it again like rabbits very soon. |
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I think there are probably lots of people in a similar position at the moment due to the current lockdown situation.
Its obviously easy to worry and feel you may be the issue but from your profile it looks like you generally have a great relationship/sex life and we are sure that won't just disappear overnight.
Hopefully things start to get back to some kind of normal soon and that also starts to bring all aspects of your relationship back to normal with it.
Being worried or anxious about something can definately have a huge impact on sex drive. |
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That last post sums it up, what's going on at the moment is effecting people in different ways. I know I'm starting to get frustrated, alongside lacking my normal level of motivation.
It might be worth checking out if he's ok with what's been happening on here? When I was swinging with my wife (hotwifing) we took a break for a few months and what had happened hit me. I had a bit of a wobble, got some regrets and jealousy that I needed my wife to help me deal with. A good chat sorted it out, but the same thing happened to my wife a year later when we took a break to extend our family.
Hopefully it's not that, but it can and does happen when we play this game.
J x |
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probably just the uncertainty of what is happening at the moment. plus home and work are not separated.
try not to work too hard at things for now during the present times. 24 hours with the same person can do this to you.
i'm sure it is just a temporary thing for the moment |
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It may well be anxiety. Many people struggling with it at the moment and it really saps the sex drive. But you may try a couple of the traditional things. Try cooking a meal he really likes. Try watching a sensual movie which is suggestive rather than explicit since it will keep the pressure off him - Body Heat is always a good one for that. And most men get turned on by porn if you can get him to watch it with you. If so, again most men get turned on by watching women pleasuring themselves.
You are doing the right thing being gentle. The more pressure, the less likely you are to succeed. Whatever happens, good luck with it. |
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The lockdown seems to affect men differently to women, from what I've seen from my friends. Women seem to enjoy the enforced time together whereas men are climbing the walls to get space apart. It's no reflection on you.
I'm going through the same thing in that I don't really feel in the mood for sex with Steph at all. My mental health is pretty poor at then moment because of how claustrophobic the situation has made me. Luckily she appreciates this and doesn't try to force anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Guessing being together all day everyday has made me a bit less exciting...
No kids this week so tried a few things including sending him photos of me dressed up from upstairs while he is downstairs working, lots of kisses in bed and caressing him, steak dinner, flashing, telling him someone had asked me to join them for a walk and then yesterday I went to work (at home) dressed in full stockings, heels, pencil skirt and my glasses just to complete the secretary look x"
Trust me honey, I doubt there isn't a man alive, well perhaps one  , who wouldn't appreciate what you have wrote there. You look wonderful xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jump on him.
If you wait for him you will wait forever.
You have needs too! Remind him of that. "
That's awful advice...imagine if the roles were reversed |
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By *ait88Man
over a year ago
Plymouth |
Bad news!
You’ve probably lost him – it’s a form of “familiarity breads contempt”. You’re no longer sexually interesting. This happens in most marriages. Were your parents noticeably sexy towards each other? How did your father react to pretty young women?
So, from now on, you’re vanilla mates, so treat him as such. Don’t try to seduce him, or go out of your way to please him. You’ll just push him away. Best friends.
But all is not lost. You’re swingers, so need not be sex-starved. There will be occasions when his libido is high, you visit a club, and he doesn’t get lucky. You’ll be there for him.
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By *ite OP Couple
over a year ago
Middlesbrough |
"Bad news!
You’ve probably lost him – it’s a form of “familiarity breads contempt”. You’re no longer sexually interesting. This happens in most marriages. Were your parents noticeably sexy towards each other? How did your father react to pretty young women?
So, from now on, you’re vanilla mates, so treat him as such. Don’t try to seduce him, or go out of your way to please him. You’ll just push him away. Best friends.
But all is not lost. You’re swingers, so need not be sex-starved. There will be occasions when his libido is high, you visit a club, and he doesn’t get lucky. You’ll be there for him.
"
Wow! |
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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago
Clevedon |
"Bad news!
You’ve probably lost him – it’s a form of “familiarity breads contempt”. You’re no longer sexually interesting. This happens in most marriages. Were your parents noticeably sexy towards each other? How did your father react to pretty young women?
So, from now on, you’re vanilla mates, so treat him as such. Don’t try to seduce him, or go out of your way to please him. You’ll just push him away. Best friends.
But all is not lost. You’re swingers, so need not be sex-starved. There will be occasions when his libido is high, you visit a club, and he doesn’t get lucky. You’ll be there for him.
"
may be for some. We are 53 this year. Been married 20 yrs. Not gym fit, mum and dad bods, but I still want to have sex with her as often as she will let me.still turns me on as my lover and best friend. If any thing the familiarity makes it better as you know how you tick and what works. Hope it stays this way. |
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"Bad news!
You’ve probably lost him – it’s a form of “familiarity breads contempt”. You’re no longer sexually interesting. This happens in most marriages. Were your parents noticeably sexy towards each other? How did your father react to pretty young women?
So, from now on, you’re vanilla mates, so treat him as such. Don’t try to seduce him, or go out of your way to please him. You’ll just push him away. Best friends.
But all is not lost. You’re swingers, so need not be sex-starved. There will be occasions when his libido is high, you visit a club, and he doesn’t get lucky. You’ll be there for him.
"
What a ridiculous answer. Standard troll behaviour. Offering such a negative insight when you have no idea who they are or how their relationship is on a day to day basis.
People go through ups and downs in relationships. Plenty of people have gone through similar patches and come out of it stronger.
Don't forget these aren't 'normal' timess and people are affected by it differently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Bad news!
You’ve probably lost him – it’s a form of “familiarity breads contempt”. You’re no longer sexually interesting. This happens in most marriages. Were your parents noticeably sexy towards each other? How did your father react to pretty young women?
So, from now on, you’re vanilla mates, so treat him as such. Don’t try to seduce him, or go out of your way to please him. You’ll just push him away. Best friends.
But all is not lost. You’re swingers, so need not be sex-starved. There will be occasions when his libido is high, you visit a club, and he doesn’t get lucky. You’ll be there for him.
What a ridiculous answer. Standard troll behaviour. Offering such a negative insight when you have no idea who they are or how their relationship is on a day to day basis.
People go through ups and downs in relationships. Plenty of people have gone through similar patches and come out of it stronger.
Don't forget these aren't 'normal' timess and people are affected by it differently."
You are so right, even in the best of times hiccups arise, as for today everyone is having to deal with the changes to the way they live. Is it not something you can both chat openly about?
I hope so, try not get to down about it, you seem a really lovely young lady. |
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By *isa2018Couple
over a year ago
East Northamptonshire |
"Guessing being together all day everyday has made me a bit less exciting...
No kids this week so tried a few things including sending him photos of me dressed up from upstairs while he is downstairs working, lots of kisses in bed and caressing him, steak dinner, flashing, telling him someone had asked me to join them for a walk and then yesterday I went to work (at home) dressed in full stockings, heels, pencil skirt and my glasses just to complete the secretary look x"
If that didn't get any reaction then he's either turned gay or there is something seriously stressing him out.
It's hard to give any advice without k owing more information on the background to any problem. Trying to pit some excitement back in as you've already indicated would be most mens fantasy. Being unexpectedly surprised with a sexy outfit or dragged up to stairs in the middle of the day would get 99% of mens attention.
If that really isnt doing it then there has to be more at play so you really need to get to the pont and ask him what is bothering him and why he has no interest. |
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"Bad news!
You’ve probably lost him – it’s a form of “familiarity breads contempt”. You’re no longer sexually interesting. This happens in most marriages. Were your parents noticeably sexy towards each other? How did your father react to pretty young women?
So, from now on, you’re vanilla mates, so treat him as such. Don’t try to seduce him, or go out of your way to please him. You’ll just push him away. Best friends.
But all is not lost. You’re swingers, so need not be sex-starved. There will be occasions when his libido is high, you visit a club, and he doesn’t get lucky. You’ll be there for him.
What a ridiculous answer. Standard troll behaviour. Offering such a negative insight when you have no idea who they are or how their relationship is on a day to day basis.
People go through ups and downs in relationships. Plenty of people have gone through similar patches and come out of it stronger.
Don't forget these aren't 'normal' timess and people are affected by it differently."
Totally this; the world is crazy at the moment, I know I am a different person to 6 months ago, and I have only me to please ! |
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"Guessing being together all day everyday has made me a bit less exciting...
No kids this week so tried a few things including sending him photos of me dressed up from upstairs while he is downstairs working, lots of kisses in bed and caressing him, steak dinner, flashing, telling him someone had asked me to join them for a walk and then yesterday I went to work (at home) dressed in full stockings, heels, pencil skirt and my glasses just to complete the secretary look x"
Well it all looks and sounds pretty hot to me! But as you say, maybe it's just familiarity that's taken the edge off? Any way you can introduce some excitement by fulfilling any of his fantasies?
Best of luck! |
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I am surprised noone’s actually stopped to ask you how things where before this and how long you haven’t had sex for? That way they’d be able to establish if it it covid-related, stress-related or just what happens to most men after a while in relationships - they just aren’t attracted to their wives physically anymore, which is pretty natural f yourhink we aren’t designed to be monogamous in the first place.
Can you give us a little bit more detail? |
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"Ok guys looking for some help... what can I do to capture a guys mojo again, I am missing him so much "
A guideline for you
If his stomach is empty feed him
If his balls are full drain them
#sorted |
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"Jump on him.
If you wait for him you will wait forever.
You have needs too! Remind him of that. "
Fuck. Me.
Did I genuinely just read this?
Can you imagine the outcry if a man had said this about a woman? |
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You sound like a genuinely loving wife who is concerned both for your intimate relationship and your husband’s emotional well being. It sounds like he has lost his confidence, possibly because he feels powerless to be a ‘man’ or provider in lockdown. He is probably beating himself up about this privately and feels somewhat like a rabbit in the headlights when confronted by his own perceived failings when you do things to remind him of what he is not providing by dressing sexy etc. He knows you mean well but he has probably got to a point where he is basically suffering stage fright when confronted with a situation that might lead to sex or intimacy. So, it really is about talking and conveying to him that there is no pressure and that he can enjoy you at whatever level he is currently comfortable with. Be sexy but not in a way that suggests you expect him to act, let him take baby steps, and over time hopefully he will regain his confidence. We wish you well and hope you get back on track, and take it from us, it has nothing to do with how sexy or attractive you are, because we are sure everyone agrees you are doing fine in that department xx |
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"Guessing being together all day everyday has made me a bit less exciting...
No kids this week so tried a few things including sending him photos of me dressed up from upstairs while he is downstairs working, lots of kisses in bed and caressing him, steak dinner, flashing, telling him someone had asked me to join them for a walk and then yesterday I went to work (at home) dressed in full stockings, heels, pencil skirt and my glasses just to complete the secretary look x"
Question - are reliant on your husbands job and income, you say you work but is that a primary income?
Question - as lockdown for you(excluding they why an devastating deaths etc) been something that actually you’ve come to enjoy being at home and less or know working for a period of time?
Question - as your husband continued to keep working from start to end of this, no furlough? Did he work from home at all before? |
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