FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Received messages, how long do you wait to respond?
Received messages, how long do you wait to respond?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey everyinw
if your interested in a person, after receiving mail, would you tend to sit on it for a couple of days and then respond, or respond that day? Would it put you off if you got a response within the minute of sending off your mail
Does this differentiate for women, couples & Men? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I usually delete immediately
After reading them, I assume? But how long do you wait to you respond?"
I only get messages from gay men... so I delete them without reading them.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just seen it says recieved.
Just reply as soon as you've seen it.
Same as irl. People only take ages respond if they dont like you or you've pissed them off. So don't fanny around reply. |
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"Hey everyinw
if your interested in a person, after receiving mail, would you tend to sit on it for a couple of days and then respond, or respond that day? Would it put you off if you got a response within the minute of sending off your mail
Does this differentiate for women, couples & Men?"
I try and respond straight away |
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It varies for me, how busy i am at the time of reading the mail. If I'm not interested, I just delete. If I'm interested but can't reply, I reply when i have time unless they something exciting or very quick to reply, i reply pretty much straight away if i have time |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you are interested then why wait? Just respond as soon as you can. If you wait then you run the risk of someone else coming along & catching their eye. "
That's very true. Just navigating, how this all works and the etiquette. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It varies for me, how busy i am at the time of reading the mail. If I'm not interested, I just delete. If I'm interested but can't reply, I reply when i have time unless they something exciting or very quick to reply, i reply pretty much straight away if i have time "
Ah okay. Thanks for sharing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Since you said if you're interested, I respond straight away, it pisses me off when people try playing games like waiting to respond to a message, I find it rude. "
Have you ever found, people.waiting to respond to your mail, if you have sent them one? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hey everyinw
if your interested in a person, after receiving mail, would you tend to sit on it for a couple of days and then respond, or respond that day? Would it put you off if you got a response within the minute of sending off your mail
Does this differentiate for women, couples & Men?
I try and respond straight away "
Thanks for sharing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you the responder OP? Or the sender?
I'm the responder but dont really want to overthink it, which now I am hahahahaha"
Don't over think it. This isn't a dating site , we all here for the same reasons, so there really is no reason to play the game on here. Also women get loads of msgs, so if you respond while she is online, your response goes to the top of her mailbox. If you fanny around, wait a few days, then respond when she's offline, where your msg is when she's next online depends on who else msgs... I have msgs from yesterday that are so far down my mailbox, I won't find them again unless they msg me again when I'm online.... So it's just better to respond straight away and ideally when they online |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why wouldn't you respond when you read it? If you want to respond... It's a different kettle of fish for popular women/couples but if you get 10 messages or less a day and you are interested in one, just reply n stop being weird about it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you the responder OP? Or the sender?
I'm the responder but dont really want to overthink it, which now I am hahahahaha
Don't over think it. This isn't a dating site , we all here for the same reasons, so there really is no reason to play the game on here. Also women get loads of msgs, so if you respond while she is online, your response goes to the top of her mailbox. If you fanny around, wait a few days, then respond when she's offline, where your msg is when she's next online depends on who else msgs... I have msgs from yesterday that are so far down my mailbox, I won't find them again unless they msg me again when I'm online.... So it's just better to respond straight away and ideally when they online "
Thanks for sharing. What I am getting is like you have said, go for it and strike while the iron is hot sort of thing. If it leads to anything further great, but if not then accept it and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why wouldn't you respond when you read it? If you want to respond... It's a different kettle of fish for popular women/couples but if you get 10 messages or less a day and you are interested in one, just reply n stop being weird about it"
Thanks. I am quickly learning but thanks for sharing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"  respond when you read/have a moment to. This isn't really the place for games, but playing games like that is a sure way of putting off people."
I get that and wasnt playing games. Just generally wanted to ask opinions based on others experience. I'm not experienced at this yet (Been on, just over a week). |
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If a face pic is attached I reply as soon as I see the message; whether that be a no thankyou or to continue the conversation.
If there is no face pic or the message is vulgar I don't reply, I just delete |
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After looking at the profile first, anywhere between immediately and never.
Try thinking of the humans you’re engaging with as completely individual and you’ll stop asking questions like this because it won’t be necessary. |
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"If you are interested then why wait? Just respond as soon as you can. If you wait then you run the risk of someone else coming along & catching their eye.
That's very true. Just navigating, how this all works and the etiquette. "
If you wait for two days intentionally to reply then you are playing games with people. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Since you said if you're interested, I respond straight away, it pisses me off when people try playing games like waiting to respond to a message, I find it rude.
Have you ever found, people.waiting to respond to your mail, if you have sent them one?"
I don't really know because I don't bother checking now lol. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Since you said if you're interested, I respond straight away, it pisses me off when people try playing games like waiting to respond to a message, I find it rude.
Have you ever found, people.waiting to respond to your mail, if you have sent them one?
I don't really know because I don't bother checking now lol. "
Hahaha thats quality |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey everyinw
if your interested in a person, after receiving mail, would you tend to sit on it for a couple of days and then respond, or respond that day? Would it put you off if you got a response within the minute of sending off your mail
Does this differentiate for women, couples & Men?"
did you get a response within a minute of sending a first message?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I have time I respond.
Even if I'm not interested I will say so.
Manners seem not to apply on here for a lot of people."
Is this because women compared to men get 10 x amount of mail? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ugh! Give it a rest with the "manners" crap! I tried replying to everyone when I first joined... I wouldn't have gotten any sleep if I had... I got more mail while I was asleep and as I read one message I would get 5 more and this was with filters up... No response means not interested... Or are you fellas paying for PAs for the women to save your egos? Nobody owes anybody a response  |
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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago
Weirdsville South Coast Dorset |
"Ugh! Give it a rest with the "manners" crap! I tried replying to everyone when I first joined... I wouldn't have gotten any sleep if I had... I got more mail while I was asleep and as I read one message I would get 5 more and this was with filters up... No response means not interested... Or are you fellas paying for PAs for the women to save your egos? Nobody owes anybody a response "
Well said! |
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"Ugh! Give it a rest with the "manners" crap! I tried replying to everyone when I first joined... I wouldn't have gotten any sleep if I had... I got more mail while I was asleep and as I read one message I would get 5 more and this was with filters up... No response means not interested... Or are you fellas paying for PAs for the women to save your egos? Nobody owes anybody a response "
Agree , read and no reply, a delete or even a fuck off is absolutely fine , it’s a clear no |
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I think not replying straight away is not necessarily an indicator of someone being uninterested.
It depends on what is happening in my life. I might read a message at work and not have the head space to reply until later. I might actually leave it for sometime until I reply. I also don’t reply to anyone who clearly hasn’t read my profile. Keep in mind people have kids, commitments, businesses etc and fab may or may not be taking priority at that point they receive a message.
I guess everyone deals with their inboxes in different ways... I don’t like being pestered either... no response straight away might mean I’m just cooking dinner... simple as that...
X
 |
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By *olarbear73Man
over a year ago
The Pole (Glasgowish) |
"I think not replying straight away is not necessarily an indicator of someone being uninterested.
It depends on what is happening in my life. I might read a message at work and not have the head space to reply until later. I might actually leave it for sometime until I reply. I also don’t reply to anyone who clearly hasn’t read my profile. Keep in mind people have kids, commitments, businesses etc and fab may or may not be taking priority at that point they receive a message.
I guess everyone deals with their inboxes in different ways... I don’t like being pestered either... no response straight away might mean I’m just cooking dinner... simple as that...
X
"
What’s for dinner Cherry  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think not replying straight away is not necessarily an indicator of someone being uninterested.
It depends on what is happening in my life. I might read a message at work and not have the head space to reply until later. I might actually leave it for sometime until I reply. I also don’t reply to anyone who clearly hasn’t read my profile. Keep in mind people have kids, commitments, businesses etc and fab may or may not be taking priority at that point they receive a message.
I guess everyone deals with their inboxes in different ways... I don’t like being pestered either... no response straight away might mean I’m just cooking dinner... simple as that...
X
"
i dont like being pestered either you having a kangaroo casserole?  |
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"I think not replying straight away is not necessarily an indicator of someone being uninterested.
It depends on what is happening in my life. I might read a message at work and not have the head space to reply until later. I might actually leave it for sometime until I reply. I also don’t reply to anyone who clearly hasn’t read my profile. Keep in mind people have kids, commitments, businesses etc and fab may or may not be taking priority at that point they receive a message.
I guess everyone deals with their inboxes in different ways... I don’t like being pestered either... no response straight away might mean I’m just cooking dinner... simple as that...
X
i dont like being pestered either you having a kangaroo casserole? "
Maybe a kangaroo cottage pie? ... yes - seriously we do eat them... kangaroo tastes pretty good! |
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"Hey everyinw
if your interested in a person, after receiving mail, would you tend to sit on it for a couple of days and then respond, or respond that day? Would it put you off if you got a response within the minute of sending off your mail
Does this differentiate for women, couples & Men?"
I generally respond as soon as I have read their message, why would I wait? Life is for living, and too short to play silly games  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think not replying straight away is not necessarily an indicator of someone being uninterested.
It depends on what is happening in my life. I might read a message at work and not have the head space to reply until later. I might actually leave it for sometime until I reply. I also don’t reply to anyone who clearly hasn’t read my profile. Keep in mind people have kids, commitments, businesses etc and fab may or may not be taking priority at that point they receive a message.
I guess everyone deals with their inboxes in different ways... I don’t like being pestered either... no response straight away might mean I’m just cooking dinner... simple as that...
X
i dont like being pestered either you having a kangaroo casserole?
Maybe a kangaroo cottage pie? ... yes - seriously we do eat them... kangaroo tastes pretty good! "
its just like chicken |
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"I think not replying straight away is not necessarily an indicator of someone being uninterested.
It depends on what is happening in my life. I might read a message at work and not have the head space to reply until later. I might actually leave it for sometime until I reply. I also don’t reply to anyone who clearly hasn’t read my profile. Keep in mind people have kids, commitments, businesses etc and fab may or may not be taking priority at that point they receive a message.
I guess everyone deals with their inboxes in different ways... I don’t like being pestered either... no response straight away might mean I’m just cooking dinner... simple as that...
X
i dont like being pestered either you having a kangaroo casserole?
Maybe a kangaroo cottage pie? ... yes - seriously we do eat them... kangaroo tastes pretty good! its just like chicken "
Only completely different... I’ve heard crocodile is like chicken though... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly - I’m not big on playing games when it comes to messages. I respond to all of mine, even if it’s some guy wishing to have sex with me, which I will never do. I’m sure it’s different for the women on the site who get bombarded with messages (I include myself in that bombardment lol) but why ghost when people are just looking for a little bit of human connection? Unless they are rude, those people can fu k off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well if I got a message from a woman or couple if I liked them I’d definitely reply as soon as I read it .
Would help if I got mail tho ?? "
. I totally concur |
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Play stupid games, win stupid prizes?
Not at school anymore! Like them? Reply when you've got the chance.
Sometimes one of us will read, but then we'll wait until we've spoken to each other before responding.
If it's been read and been a few days with no response... get the message, probably not interested! |
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"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes?
Not at school anymore! Like them? Reply when you've got the chance.
Sometimes one of us will read, but then we'll wait until we've spoken to each other before responding.
If it's been read and been a few days with no response... get the message, probably not interested!"
Agree... there’s no game playing about it... if it’s been read AND deleted - prob not interested... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes?
Not at school anymore! Like them? Reply when you've got the chance.
Sometimes one of us will read, but then we'll wait until we've spoken to each other before responding.
If it's been read and been a few days with no response... get the message, probably not interested!
Agree... there’s no game playing about it... if it’s been read AND deleted - prob not interested..."
So true! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I reply whenever I get the chance and I find them attractive.
But if someone messages me a one liner then I'll take my sweet damn time to message them back  |
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Just do what feels right,
You are definitely overthinking it
There are people on here for all sorts of reasons from being a twat to hyper nymphomaniacs and everything in between.
Ive had conversations with others that just suddenly stop.
Why is up to them. I don't need to know why.
Just move on and if they eventually get back to you great if not , someone else will eventually catch your eye.
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"If you are interested then why wait? Just respond as soon as you can. If you wait then you run the risk of someone else coming along & catching their eye. "
Exactly this.
Why play games if you’re interested in someone?? |
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If someone who fits the profile you are looking for has taken the trouble to write you a decent and polite message then have the courtesy to respond, even if it's to say thanks but no thanks. Really pisses me off when I write a nice respectful message to someone having read their profile and their likes and dislikes and it sits there unread. I appreciate it's a buyers market but a little bit of respect to other people never hurt anyone. |
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The FAQ clearly state no reply means not interested, due to in some cases, replying can mean getting more messages asking why ? or being abusive. So for those complaining about manners need to get real.
If the FAQ stated all messages from one member to another have to be answered, you’d be complaining about not getting a reply and keeping to the terms of the site.
To answer the Op, If I’m interested in the person sending the message I reply as soon as possible, as I prefer to give a decent reply to a decent message. |
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Lol I'd love some kind of response to my messages. Many sit there unread so I wait a few days and send again as they are sometimes swamped in too many. Really hate those who look at your profile and then ignore your message or read and ignore, I'd rather it was deleted or I was blocked - at least I won't waste anymore of my time !. OP, reply as soon as you can, no games, basic respect and manners are appreciated by the chosen few... |
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Varies for us as we're a couple. If it's a definite no (obviously not read our profile, one line message, etc) then either of us might delete it without the other seeing it. If it's even a slight possibility then neither of us will do anything until we both know the other has seen at and we've had a chance to talk about it. That might take an hour or two days.
Bry (and Char) |
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"Are you the responder OP? Or the sender?
I'm the responder but dont really want to overthink it, which now I am hahahahaha
Don't over think it. This isn't a dating site , we all here for the same reasons, so there really is no reason to play the game on here. Also women get loads of msgs, so if you respond while she is online, your response goes to the top of her mailbox. If you fanny around, wait a few days, then respond when she's offline, where your msg is when she's next online depends on who else msgs... I have msgs from yesterday that are so far down my mailbox, I won't find them again unless they msg me again when I'm online.... So it's just better to respond straight away and ideally when they online "
Good call! I've found more success responding whilst girls are on line than any other(having had mails deleted but subsequently actually meeting up.) It's the sheer volume of mail girls get not necessarily they're not interested?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think not replying straight away is not necessarily an indicator of someone being uninterested.
It depends on what is happening in my life. I might read a message at work and not have the head space to reply until later. I might actually leave it for sometime until I reply. I also don’t reply to anyone who clearly hasn’t read my profile. Keep in mind people have kids, commitments, businesses etc and fab may or may not be taking priority at that point they receive a message.
I guess everyone deals with their inboxes in different ways... I don’t like being pestered either... no response straight away might mean I’m just cooking dinner... simple as that...
X
i dont like being pestered either you having a kangaroo casserole?
Maybe a kangaroo cottage pie? ... yes - seriously we do eat them... kangaroo tastes pretty good! its just like chicken
Only completely different... I’ve heard crocodile is like chicken though... "
crocodile and alligator are both just like chicken |
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"Just seen it says recieved.
Just reply as soon as you've seen it.
Same as irl. People only take ages respond if they dont like you or you've pissed them off. So don't fanny around reply."
Not true for a couple's profile. We will often wait until both of us have read the message/profile before responding. It's a joint decision as we're in this together and respect each other's opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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surely if you are intrested you would respond once read, if not then you're not intrested that's how I have always seen it so if the message is read and I get no answer I assume there is no intrest and block and move on |
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For those whinging they don't get a reply/it's only manners nonsense really need to read the FAQ, lose their sense of entitlement and thank their fellow men for the abuse they send when faced with a polite no thanks reply, which means alot of women/couples just block without replying.
If we are interested we reply. If not we don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i read the profile. if they are not for us i reply sorry but not thanks...
i do it as and when i get round to it... some can be within a day others a few weeks... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’re a couple that lives separately. We tend to both have a read of messages when we have a chance. Then we’ll later have a chat about what we think and if we want to reply. It might take a couple of days for us to get to for that reason.
Although, saying that, if one of us isn’t at all interested in what we see, we delete. Like a 10/10 woman... I’ve not got the self-esteem to deal with that! |
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We read the message individually, read the profile if the message is interesting, tell each other about the message and profile, and then after we've both given the approval will do the first reply usually within a day or three.
Subsequent replies are done as quickly as we can do them - sometimes we will read when we are out and about and unable to reply for hours, sometimes it will be within a few minutes.
Single guys only get replies in exceptional circumstances as we dont meet them, and opening up discussion has historically led to very long message chains, which though interesting, buries our chats with couples in fabs limited mailbox.
Couples get replies every time unless we think it is a guy masquerading as a couple, something that is based on many factors.
Single women get replies most of the time, though about a third of single women who have contacted us have been fake profiles that were quickly removed from the site so we tend to sit on the replies for a couple of days to see if the account vanishes in the meantime. |
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"For those whinging they don't get a reply/it's only manners nonsense really need to read the FAQ, lose their sense of entitlement and thank their fellow men for the abuse they send when faced with a polite no thanks reply, which means alot of women/couples just block without replying.
If we are interested we reply. If not we don't."
Yes, agree. now i stopped replying "no thanks" I get way less abuse. ignoring and blocking is definitely more pleasant experience |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since you said if you're interested, I respond straight away, it pisses me off when people try playing games like waiting to respond to a message, I find it rude. "
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By *aimeDWoman
over a year ago
Shaftesbury, Dorset |
If I am going to reply to email message on here I will generally wait until I’ve got the time to have a proper convo with the other person.
I tend to flick on and off here throughout the day just for a bit of distraction and I might not gave the time to give a reply my full attention so in that case I will wait until I can. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’re in a distance relationship and also both look at the site at different times. We won’t reply until both seen the message and then discussed (or Fire has been told more like lol) who’s going to respond. Also obviously “normal” life takes priority - if we’re delayed in responding then we’ll always start by apologising for the delay though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I generally look at the profile before deciding whether to read the message. If the profile interests me then I look at the message & decide whether to reply or not. "
I do this |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
When I receive a message I will respond, I don't always see the message icon on the page.
I know some wait some time to reply they believe it would be seen as to keen desperate even. I really don't like people who play games. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey everyinw
if your interested in a person, after receiving mail, would you tend to sit on it for a couple of days and then respond, or respond that day? Would it put you off if you got a response within the minute of sending off your mail
Does this differentiate for women, couples & Men?"
I do what every woman does to mine.
Read it and don’t respond....  |
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