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Dating a fellow swinger or converting a "vanilla" person?

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By *angbangFantasy OP   Woman  over a year ago

London

So, I'm a single woman into the swinging lifestyle. I started off as part of a couple and have dated a few people in the lifestyle but nothing too serious.

I would love to date and establish a genuine connection and relationship with someone without sacrificing the freedom to explore sexually with others.

It always seems like one without the other though. Date a vanilla and they don't like the idea of swinging, date a swinger and they're afraid of commitment

I dunno if I'll find the happy median.

What do the couples on here think and what advice could you give me?

Thank you x

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By *teveanddebsCouple  over a year ago

Norwich

It happens, usually when you least expect it. I guess if you are meeting on here and looking for a relationship then maybe you give off the wrong vibe?

I would say just enjoy meeting and it will happen eventually.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So, I'm a single woman into the swinging lifestyle. I started off as part of a couple and have dated a few people in the lifestyle but nothing too serious.

I would love to date and establish a genuine connection and relationship with someone without sacrificing the freedom to explore sexually with others.

It always seems like one without the other though. Date a vanilla and they don't like the idea of swinging, date a swinger and they're afraid of commitment

I dunno if I'll find the happy median.

What do the couples on here think and what advice could you give me?

Thank you x"

That would be the dream for me too

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Could have written this myself.

Exactly what im looking for and i dont want to sacrifice my sexual needs or my romantic ones.

My advice is keep looking and dont give up.

Im holding out for perfect this time

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have with some limited success drawn vanillas over to the dark side of kink... but swinging seems to be just a step too far.

Sure it can be a fascination, but part of a longer term lifestyle choice not so much.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I am just bookmarking to read others opinions however, I feel as though the strength of any relationship is more important than any optional fun.

I am single by choice, I like my life to be mine and all decisions to be mine.

However if I did fall in love with someone who wasn't into this lifestyle I would happily leave for them.

Just my tuppence!

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By *uzie69xTV/TS  over a year ago

Maidstone

I met a wonderful guy here (heya bébé) and we've been together two years now... Sex is my favourite hobby, while it was all a bit new to him.

So we've been experimenting and we hit a few humps... and not in a good way... Covid has put a stop to any shenanigans.

We've talked about it, and I would be willing to give up the lifestyle if he couldn't cope.

But he tells me he wants the adventures with me, so we're just sitting Covid out and can't wait to restart our adventures...

So OP, don't give up looking, I'm sure the you'll find your Goldilocks guy soon...

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By *oItForYorkshireCouple  over a year ago

Yorkshire

The realistic truth is you cannot choose who you fall in love with.

You could date every swinger on the site but if you’d be happy in ‘none playtime’ is another matter.

It is frustrating though if you ARE a swinger and into the lifestyle socially as opposed to those who ‘wouldn’t share a girl if I got one’.

I agree with the comment above though that it happens when you least expect it.

Good luck to you all ‘searching’. I hope you all find your happy endings xxx

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By *obbiKentMan  over a year ago

maidstone


"I met a wonderful guy here (heya bébé) and we've been together two years now... Sex is my favourite hobby, while it was all a bit new to him.

So we've been experimenting and we hit a few humps... and not in a good way... Covid has put a stop to any shenanigans.

We've talked about it, and I would be willing to give up the lifestyle if he couldn't cope.

But he tells me he wants the adventures with me, so we're just sitting Covid out and can't wait to restart our adventures...

So OP, don't give up looking, I'm sure the you'll find your Goldilocks guy soon..."

Not too hot, not too cold... Can't wait sexy eyes.. X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Exactly what I'm looking for, been searching for nearly 5 years, not sure it exists x

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By *BW BlondeWoman  over a year ago

Castleford

I left this lifestyle for a vanilla one. It just wasn't enough for me. So now I have returned back to the comfort of this lifestyle and hope that I meet someone who also wants a swinging element to a relationship. We live in hope x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hello, can’t say for much for swinging as I’ve had little success on here but I found that Okcupid had lots of polyamorous couples and singles on there that were more than happy to discuss their lifestyle as it tends to cover both the emotional and the physical desires of a person outside of the societal relationship norms.

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By *rooper731Man  over a year ago

Near the Beach

Ive been lucky. I met someone through Tinder and we found we were into the same things. I have a profile, she has one and a couples one as that’s what works for us depending on what we’re after at the time.

I don’t see an issue of being in a committed relationship and swinging - it’s all down to boundaries.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading

What do you mean by commitment. I am a little confused. Is a regular fwb what you are looking for?

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By *angbangFantasy OP   Woman  over a year ago

London


"What do you mean by commitment. I am a little confused. Is a regular fwb what you are looking for?"

No, I have a couple of fwb but I mean a relationship where we can do vanilla things, make plans, but still be open to inviting others into our bed.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So, I'm a single woman into the swinging lifestyle. I started off as part of a couple and have dated a few people in the lifestyle but nothing too serious.

I would love to date and establish a genuine connection and relationship with someone without sacrificing the freedom to explore sexually with others.

It always seems like one without the other though. Date a vanilla and they don't like the idea of swinging, date a swinger and they're afraid of commitment

I dunno if I'll find the happy median.

What do the couples on here think and what advice could you give me?

Thank you x"

I've literally left a new relationship recently as he could not cope with just the idea of swinging..

Great guy.. Just not a good fit for me.

I'm not bothering dating anymore plus my children don't want me to date.

On a plus side two of my best friends got together and are in a fantastic relationship and still swing xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Still looking for same

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By *illia-RoseWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff

I've had 2 long term relationships start from meeting as a single woman on here.

The first one we were very much on the scene together, the second he couldn't handle it so I left and had a vanilla relationship for a couple of years.

As someone else said you can't choose who or when you fall in love. Although I will say I've never found a relationship when I was looking for one, only ever when I'm enjoying my singledom.

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By *inkyisfunukMan  over a year ago

Birmingham

I would very much like to find a long term partner who was into this lifestyle. For me everything that goes with swinging is clearly a part of my sexual makeup,so it would be great to find someone who shared those ideas, wants and needs.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Wife and I met on here

We both enjoy the excitement but only play if we can both play at the same time.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes, coming to the conclusion I want the same, it’s just finding that person...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would very much like to find a long term partner who was into this lifestyle. For me everything that goes with swinging is clearly a part of my sexual makeup,so it would be great to find someone who shared those ideas, wants and needs."
The same here, probably more people looking for this than we first think.

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By *rank speakerMan  over a year ago

Worcester


"So, I'm a single woman into the swinging lifestyle. I started off as part of a couple and have dated a few people in the lifestyle but nothing too serious.

I would love to date and establish a genuine connection and relationship with someone without sacrificing the freedom to explore sexually with others.

It always seems like one without the other though. Date a vanilla and they don't like the idea of swinging, date a swinger and they're afraid of commitment

I dunno if I'll find the happy median.

What do the couples on here think and what advice could you give me?

Thank you x"

Single guy here who's had some success along these lines. I managed to convince a completely vanilla lady into experimenting and she loved it! Although she was very strong minded she was also open to ideas and actually took to it like a duck to water. Try a visit to a club(if they ever open again?) this proved to be such a pleasent experience she couldn't wait for a return. However covid of course ruined that idea?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You always tend to find a relationship when you’re not looking for one....

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple  over a year ago

Coventry

It seems from what you've said staying on the scene in some capacity is a must have. Therefore naturally on the scene would maybe be the best place to look. As for vanilla dating I think for a woman its best not to reveal all your cards straight away. But once you've established if there's a possibility of things going further then to explain the situation and a bit of trust. Leaving it too long likewise wastes time and causes complication. Chances are if they're not a swinger its not for them and thus they're not for you. But they may be open to it or to at least try it. After all you don't want to live a lie so its important to find someone who accepts you for who your are and wants to share in that with you. Being a swinger adds an extra complication to dating. But just look at the site, plenty of us have found the right one to share everything with. You can too.

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By *heShyBiCoupleCouple  over a year ago

Coventry

I dated vanilla once, now she is the other half of this profile so it can work, just persist.

When I have explained to vanilla males before that I swing, they're all interested and asking questions saying they'd love to do it and go to parties etc but then I explain I swing with my girlfriend their attitude changes to 'what, you're just happy with other people fucking your mrs?' It might be insecurities that other men might be better than them

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By *ausageNmashCouple  over a year ago

Andover

We met conventionally but both realised we are totally non vanilla so joined here

So much fun to be had

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By *angbangFantasy OP   Woman  over a year ago

London


"It seems from what you've said staying on the scene in some capacity is a must have. Therefore naturally on the scene would maybe be the best place to look. As for vanilla dating I think for a woman its best not to reveal all your cards straight away. But once you've established if there's a possibility of things going further then to explain the situation and a bit of trust. Leaving it too long likewise wastes time and causes complication. Chances are if they're not a swinger its not for them and thus they're not for you. But they may be open to it or to at least try it. After all you don't want to live a lie so its important to find someone who accepts you for who your are and wants to share in that with you. Being a swinger adds an extra complication to dating. But just look at the site, plenty of us have found the right one to share everything with. You can too. "

Thank you so much for this advice

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yeah this is exactly what I'm looking for... but more from the sense that I want a gf to date and do all the relationship things... and love swinging... but more from the hot wife side of things.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman  over a year ago

North West

I go from wanting this to wanting vanilla!

Currently a happy medium would be great.... someone to club with who loves the kink and being watched but not the swinger and other people part.

I’ve dated vanilla and off here, both went equally good and bad haha!

I possibly have more look with vanilla because I’m not looking to include other people... so don’t get the whole “I’d not be happy someone shagging my Mrs” guys.

So difficult... it’ll happen xxx

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By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham

Yes please to this for me too

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By *essWoman  over a year ago

hereford

Same here! It is the dream I think

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By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham

I am trying to help

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1105721

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By *irtylittletramp100TV/TS  over a year ago

Notts


"So, I'm a single woman into the swinging lifestyle. I started off as part of a couple and have dated a few people in the lifestyle but nothing too serious.

I would love to date and establish a genuine connection and relationship with someone without sacrificing the freedom to explore sexually with others.

It always seems like one without the other though. Date a vanilla and they don't like the idea of swinging, date a swinger and they're afraid of commitment

I dunno if I'll find the happy median.

What do the couples on here think and what advice could you give me?

Thank you x"

What do you want out of life style? Extra cock? What...? Perhaps a sissy cuck to go shopping with and who's happy to watch you fuck lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No one should charge who you are or what you want to do should just expect the way you are. Life is to short to worry what people think

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By *odgerNbadgerCouple  over a year ago

Chepstow

OK i'll come at this from the other side. I was straight vanilla until I met Bodger. He kept his deviant proclivities under wraps for a while but then we had one of those late-night post-coital chats you have and it all came out. I was bloody terrified at first but he took it slowly (fnar fnar) and now I'm a bisexual swinger and we've been together over 2 years

I'd say be honest about your life and your expectations, anyone who's worth the effort will put their own effort in too. Happy hunting xx

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By *entleman JayMan  over a year ago

Wakefield

I’m looking for a regular FWBs. That includes doing lots of nice things out of the bedroom and fun in it too. There’s more to life than sex and Fab but a dollop of it would be nice.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think like most that the odds of converting a vanilla into swinging does seem a “bridge too far” as have spent years looking for this kind of lass.

Whilst most are happy to share in kinks and fetishes, sharing a partner just seems to be too taboo.

Happy now to find a couple looking for an exclusive guy to share in their escapades. Not given up hope on the lady, but she really will be a needle in a haystack

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By *luttyLaylaWoman  over a year ago

North West


"I’m looking for a regular FWBs. That includes doing lots of nice things out of the bedroom and fun in it too. There’s more to life than sex and Fab but a dollop of it would be nice. "

I can never get my head around this approach lol!

FWB just confuses me I don’t get it haha!

Outside of the bedroom because you’d like to see if it could go somewhere dating wise? x

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By *ountbattenMan  over a year ago

Chester


"OK i'll come at this from the other side. I was straight vanilla until I met Bodger. He kept his deviant proclivities under wraps for a while but then we had one of those late-night post-coital chats you have and it all came out. I was bloody terrified at first but he took it slowly (fnar fnar) and now I'm a bisexual swinger and we've been together over 2 years

I'd say be honest about your life and your expectations, anyone who's worth the effort will put their own effort in too. Happy hunting xx"

This is pretty much how I broke it to my now partner. One evening, much the same as you, I just opened up about Fab, let her have a look at my profile. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't trepidation on my part for what she might think of me, but there's a reason the saying goes honesty is the best policy. We were both better off for me just being open about it. Though she didn't instantly become a convert, she at least was fully understanding of where I was coming from and in the process we ended up finding out where both of us have synergy in things that she too would like to experiment in. Now I have many more things I still had on my Fab bucket list prior to meeting my partner so I obviously come across as more eager to explore this (post COVID naturally) but I feel better for knowing what I can do with my partner in tow and what I can't do. There's no skulduggery occurring and the way I see it, if some of those bucket list things happen organically over time with both of us willing participants, then they'll happen in good time. Hope that helps

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Reading in anticipation of the answer to my dilemma which is very similar

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Been there. Battled with swinging vs relationship. If he was a swinger it’s a bonus but I’d choose the man over the lifestyle.

Rather have him, then swinging.

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By *ingdong11Man  over a year ago

southampton


"So, I'm a single woman into the swinging lifestyle. I started off as part of a couple and have dated a few people in the lifestyle but nothing too serious.

I would love to date and establish a genuine connection and relationship with someone without sacrificing the freedom to explore sexually with others.

It always seems like one without the other though. Date a vanilla and they don't like the idea of swinging, date a swinger and they're afraid of commitment

I dunno if I'll find the happy median.

What do the couples on here think and what advice could you give me?

Thank you x"

I have been looking for the same thing for years , it’s very difficult unfortunately!

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By *avina64TV/TS  over a year ago

Grimsby

I would like to meet but to old

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By *exydoctorsCouple  over a year ago

Galway/Clare

Swinging isn't defined. So even if you met someone in the lifestyle and wanted to make a go of things, what they might want from swinging as a couple is likely to be a bit different from what you want. And couples swinging is different from single swinging, you'll have opinions on what you want to share versus what you might want to keep separate, you'll like different things etc

One thing I've learnt is that swinging as a couple is about finding that compromise point between your fantasies that works for both of you. Whereas some of the comments here seem more like I want a relationship but still want to swing the way I do as a single person. For example, I'm pretty happy for my wife to do whatever she wants sexually, but if I thought she was taking a safety risk or if there was something I really didn't like, or if for some reason I felt I was really excluded when I wanted to be included...I certainly in a relationship would expect I could have some influence over that.

So in a way it's the same as every other aspect of being in a relationship, there has to be compromise.... If you are unwilling to compromise at all, then you'll have to be very lucky to find someone who wants exactly what you want....i.e. it's not going to happen

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By *iercedItMan  over a year ago

Manchester

My ex R, we met on OKStupid and was dating for a while, and she came on here as a single fem after I mentioned it. In fact we was at Townhouse when I think it was Vicky asked if we wanted a couple membership and I was like ummmm are we a couple so the discussion was had actually at townhouse.

Just before lockdown I went on a few dates with someone from the fish site who had a huge profile on the life site, where literally the 2nd message once we moved to whatsapp was this is my life site go look. The outcome there was she was very more into the lifestyle dynamic, so went separate ways as 24/7 isn't for me.

Your very much in the same boat as me, I have tried the vanilla-kink and kink-vanilla route and both are fraught with issues, so far I'm just sprinkling vanilla with kink, and the kink with vanilla and getting some reasonable results.

What I can tell you tho, I get much less success on vanilla bean sites since I sprinkled the kink there. Even tonight I had someone message me and say "sorry just noticed your kink friendly, you tick several boxes for me but thats not one, good luck" which was literally her second message. That profile literally has 1 line which says "I'm kink friendly" doesn't specify anything else, so its prob dramatically cut down my potentials.

As a single woman I think you will have every 50 shades of shite flunky trying their luck, so you will prob need a solid vetting process and be hard and fast about the chopping block.

It can work, but there is no easy route that I've found.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/01/21 06:32:00]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This type of lifestyle/relationship for definite..the quest continues

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Finding the right vanilla is probably the best route to go. There isn't too many men - even vanilla ones that wouldn't scoff at the chance of being able to participate in all that the swinging scene has to offer, especially if you bring along another female to the proceedings. He would think he struck gold!

Take it slow first and build it up. Asking a vanilla if it's okay to fuck another guy will make him run a mile. Asking a vanilla if it's okay if another girl can share his cock with you - will have him wanting more! Then gradually introduce him to more scenarios xxx

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By *weetnjuicycoupleCouple  over a year ago

nottingham

But when you find one — it’s magical xx

Sam and David x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It can happen . I have a few friends that met on the scene and are now in very happy relationships two of them I know have got married before covid. Communication and honesty is the key.

Hope you find what you're looking for OP

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple  over a year ago

Pembrokeshire


"So, I'm a single woman into the swinging lifestyle. I started off as part of a couple and have dated a few people in the lifestyle but nothing too serious.

I would love to date and establish a genuine connection and relationship with someone without sacrificing the freedom to explore sexually with others.

It always seems like one without the other though. Date a vanilla and they don't like the idea of swinging, date a swinger and they're afraid of commitment

I dunno if I'll find the happy median.

What do the couples on here think and what advice could you give me?

Thank you x"

My lovely Husband-soon-to-be found me here.

We are gently finding out how we push our boundaries together and exploring what makes us happy as time passes.

Hang in there, keep communicating with people, and see where it leads you.

Hopefully you will find the perfect partner like we have - all the very best

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By *arah_11TV/TS  over a year ago

Yeadon/Leeds


"Finding the right vanilla is probably the best route to go. There isn't too many men - even vanilla ones that wouldn't scoff at the chance of being able to participate in all that the swinging scene has to offer, especially if you bring along another female to the proceedings. He would think he struck gold!

Take it slow first and build it up. Asking a vanilla if it's okay to fuck another guy will make him run a mile. Asking a vanilla if it's okay if another girl can share his cock with you - will have him wanting more! Then gradually introduce him to more scenarios xxx"

Obviously as the OP is a lady this makes fairly sensible advice however from another perspective it isn't always so easy to be open about things, even if it is becoming more acceptable

In the non kink scene there is a big advantage of there being more fish in the sea! However finding the right fish maybe harder in such a large pool

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd love to find a life partner that enjoys the same lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Converting a swinger to vanilla is the grail, it means the sex is that good.

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple  over a year ago

Edinburgh.

It’s harder to get what you want. But as a guy. I have found the the better the sex is with a woman the more chance you have she will be into swinging. Just a thought. But I was a few non swingers first swinger. And it’s working out very well for us.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Converting a swinger to vanilla is the grail, it means the sex is that good."

Doesn't that imply that that person is only a swinger due to bad vanilla sex?

For us swinging is about variety and fun. We have an amazing sex life together, sometimes we just want to do something that requires extra bodies!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So, I'm a single woman into the swinging lifestyle. I started off as part of a couple and have dated a few people in the lifestyle but nothing too serious.

I would love to date and establish a genuine connection and relationship with someone without sacrificing the freedom to explore sexually with others.

It always seems like one without the other though. Date a vanilla and they don't like the idea of swinging, date a swinger and they're afraid of commitment

I dunno if I'll find the happy median.

What do the couples on here think and what advice could you give me?

Thank you x"

I'd say it depends what swinging means to you. If you want swinging to be a part of your life, be open really quickly with anyone you date. You'll definitely scare some people away, but at some stage that would have to come up. Rather cross that bridge early rather than have to choose later when you're more attached.

When I met T, she was totally vanilla! Never even thought about extra people, clubs, exhibitionism. Lots of honesty, talking and exploring the idea together and now it's just another thing we share together

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By *roticusCouple  over a year ago

Porthmadog

It's doubly difficult when the relationships that work for you are Dom/sub, and polyamorous. I'm looking for a live-in sub (Lucy's part time) and I'm not sure I'll find that via the dating sites.

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By * New YorkieMan  over a year ago

Leeds

Exactly what I want to find. Classy educated and open minded even to enjoy whoever we want together and strong enough to enjoy other when we cannot do so together.

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By *valexis147TV/TS  over a year ago

Tunbridge Wells

I would so love to find a LT partner to share a swinging lifestyle with. I am on here as a TV but am only very part time. When dressed I am Bi, but would not look at a guy twice when not dressed, only enjoy women when not. In everyday proffesional male mode, I very much identify as being hetero. So this added complication of not only finding a swinging LT partner but one that will embrace my cross dressing and bi tendencies, I think will be incredible challenging.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was very vanilla when we met my now husband spoke openly about it from the very start of our relationship. He said it was best to be honest and open about how he felt. Well I was very intrigued never ever pushed into it but guided and if I didn't like it that was that. Five years on and I obviously enjoy what we do and so glad I had my eyes opened to so many possibilities. Really couldn't go back to being vanilla lol x

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By *ornado69Man  over a year ago

High Wycombe

I dream of finding a lady that i can share my heart with, travel, take to dinner, holidays, vanilla activities. I still believe in holding the door open for a lady, chivalry and that long lost virtue treating her with respect. But i also love to watch my partner having fun with other people.

I would ideally like a proper relationship with a lady who also enjoys this lifestyle, is there one out there for me???

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Personally.. I think (and this is purely based on my own experience) it is more likely to work by meeting somebody you fall for, and converting them.. In pretty much every relationship I have had.. I have gently introduced the concept of sharing, clubs etc.. sometimes they are up for it, sometimes not. I've found it more difficult to meet somebody already involved in this who wants to settle with me (or me them)

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By *hynot3Man  over a year ago

Middlesbrough

It can work a lady I met a few times in here met a guy in this site and after a while they got together...as in met each other’s families etc are now an item and still swing....

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By *aretobareCouple  over a year ago

Central Portugal

We et through a swinging site and have been married 10 years xx

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By *8v3nCouple  over a year ago

Coventry

[Removed by poster at 03/02/21 09:40:43]

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By *8v3nCouple  over a year ago

Coventry


"Converting a swinger to vanilla is the grail, it means the sex is that good."

No. We are best what happened for each other. But it just gets spicy if Vixen has a bit of exciting adventure. But then again we are not into traditional swing, but more of stag vixen.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We found each other here. It can happen

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By *cd and scruffCouple  over a year ago

Rochester

We met in a sex club. Now living together and still playing up till the clubs had to shut coz of the bloody virus.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Well up for a cuckold relationship if any ladies like the idea x

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By *anther and gothic angelCouple  over a year ago

fairy land

We met at a singers club...he was the DJ and gave me a lift home. We've been together for 8 years now. I'd been single for 6 years before that and decided to try swinging clubs, never though I'd meet the love of my life.

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By *exandthesuburbans83Couple  over a year ago

EASTBOURNE

We were a vanilla couple that discussed some fantasies and this came up to explore swapping etc. We then explored it an enjoyed it. Fortunately for us we were both on board. Personally, would recommend letting someone know what you were into (somehow) before anything gets serious to avoid you or them getting hurt if neither wants to change.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan  over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

I seem to convert swingers into wanting to pursue vanilla relationships... Some with me, some with others!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's so hard finding someone who wants to do both. Sex is just sex, I don't see it as a vital part to a relationship if both of you feel the same way. I wouldn't mind at all if the Mrs said she wanted to be fucked by someone else or get into swinging, it's the sneaking behind your back and lying I can't stand

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By *valexis147TV/TS  over a year ago

Tunbridge Wells


"So, I'm a single woman into the swinging lifestyle. I started off as part of a couple and have dated a few people in the lifestyle but nothing too serious.

I would love to date and establish a genuine connection and relationship with someone without sacrificing the freedom to explore sexually with others.

It always seems like one without the other though. Date a vanilla and they don't like the idea of swinging, date a swinger and they're afraid of commitment

I dunno if I'll find the happy median.

What do the couples on here think and what advice could you give me?

Thank you x"

Would be a dream to find a girl like you!! My life compete!! Xxxxx

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By *teveanddebsCouple  over a year ago

Norwich


"But when you find one — it’s magical xx

Sam and David x"

It certainly is, even after nearly 20 years

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By *hubaysiWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

You can’t ‘convert’ anyone and should not try to.

Good luck OP.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

loved the posts so though I would add my desires

I am seeking a loving relationship with a man who will treat me like his princess. I also want to be open and occasionally go with my long term lover who is married occasionally. Is this an impossible dream? Helen x

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By *istress B and BrookeCouple  over a year ago

Newcastle

We met on here and have been married for three years. It’s perfect. No secrets and instantly know each other’s kinks. Just need more people to share them with

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Morning all

Having had a swinging relationship for around 8years she wanted a more committed relationship. Move in together, some reason I didn’t, so she walked... my mistake, my loss!

Will I ever find that again... probably not as they say don’t know what you had till it’s gone x

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By *uto564Man  over a year ago

Widnes

Me and my partner met through Swinging... we had been chatting for a while on another platform and arranged a group meet at a club.... ended up having a MMF with her and another guy.. 3years later we now live together, swinging when we can

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By *oderlivingMan  over a year ago

Nottingham

You should just be yourself .

Like minded people meet in lime minded places.

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By *edhead72Man  over a year ago

Cheltenham and Ashby

To have that connection the understanding and to know the physical can be shared but that mental intimacy belongs to just the two of you.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of us dreamers x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

So interesting to read others experiences of this.

I met someone on here, we then became a couple and stayed exclusive to each other, and only swung with others together as a couple. It worked, it wasn't perfect we both had our jealous and insecure moments, but we always knew that we were the most important two people for each other.

Funny enough, she started getting more vanilla than me, and was less fussed about clubs, parties etc..

It didnt really bother me, because it wasnt essential to me either, but we started swinging less and less.

We're not together anymore, but we didnt break up because of not swinging.

I guess my point is, it can work, but like everything else, its not smooth and without its bumps.

The time I had with her, was the best relationship I ever had, but life throws unexpected things at you and things change.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’d like to see if dating here works better than tinder

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Didn’t meet on here but were both swingers in a previous life.We totally understand what the other needs without any jealousy or recrimination.

Couldn’t be more perfect.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What do the couples on here think and what advice could you give me? x"

Get consent. Do they want to be converted? If so, talk to them. It’ll answer all your questions

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

YOU can't convert them unless they want to be converted. If it's like an ultimatum from you, that's abuse not conversion.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’d like to see if dating here works better than tinder "

It might if you can both handle the fact that you want more than one partner. At last neither of you will have the awkward conversation about your swinging lifestyle hoping the other one will be understanding.

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By *angbangFantasy OP   Woman  over a year ago

London


"YOU can't convert them unless they want to be converted. If it's like an ultimatum from you, that's abuse not conversion. "

Abuse?

Obviously can't force anyone to do what they don't want to do, but rather open the idea up to them, just as it was initially opened up to me when I was dating a guy I met from the fish site.

Sometimes people just are incompatible and their values are different. If I met a guy on a vanilla dating site and asked him what his thoughts were on swinging and he looked down on people who do it or even women who who are sexually liberated, obviously that would be a deal breaker for me as I don't hold that same belief and would see him as someone with a narrow mind.

I dunno how we have 1+1 and arrive at 5

My OP has explained it better than my thread title

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When i first met j i was vanilla on the first night she told me that she goes to swingers clubs etc... i was a bit okkk but she said come once if you dont like it i will stop going. But i was shy to start and could not believe my eyes wow. i love it i only been going for about a year so still fresh not ready for a full swap but like the idea of j another woman while i watch. Or with another couple the women play but us men stick to our partners

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

if i was single i would not look for a partner from fab/swinging for a relationship ... i would be in the dating world looking for someone who like me wants more and wants to journey together ...

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By *host63Man  over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham


"So, I'm a single woman into the swinging lifestyle. I started off as part of a couple and have dated a few people in the lifestyle but nothing too serious.

I would love to date and establish a genuine connection and relationship with someone without sacrificing the freedom to explore sexually with others.

It always seems like one without the other though. Date a vanilla and they don't like the idea of swinging, date a swinger and they're afraid of commitment

I dunno if I'll find the happy median.

What do the couples on here think and what advice could you give me?

Thank you x"

I have always longed for a relationship where we both allowed ourse6 ge freedom of the lifestyle while being in a relationship.

I wish I could help give advice I am in need of some myself.

Maybe go to more socials which are more relaxed over swingers clubs and parties?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I am in the same conundrum. I find men who I meet in regular life struggle to accept my appetite. I would love to meet someone who can match me in both heart and sex drive. So have decided to explore as much as possible when lockdown lifts, and then see how I go after that.

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By *ames123123Man  over a year ago

Clapham

Sadly Hinge doesn’t have a swinging interest option, otherwise that might help! It’s quite difficult to find a partner outside of this world who wants to explore it. I find being open early on helps, but often it’s a choice to leave swinging behind for a relationship! Nice to hear of some happy stories on here though.

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By *entleman JayMan  over a year ago

Wakefield


"I’m looking for a regular FWBs. That includes doing lots of nice things out of the bedroom and fun in it too. There’s more to life than sex and Fab but a dollop of it would be nice.

I can never get my head around this approach lol!

FWB just confuses me I don’t get it haha!

Outside of the bedroom because you’d like to see if it could go somewhere dating wise? x "

No. Out of the bedroom because there’s more to life than sex. Just not the intensity of a seven days a week relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Believe me, dating a swinger is like dating an escort. Sooner or later the lifestyle will all get to much for either one of you or both of you. It's a doomed relationship from the very start. I know from bitter experience and it all but ruinned my life...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"if i was single i would not look for a partner from fab/swinging for a relationship ... i would be in the dating world looking for someone who like me wants more and wants to journey together ... "

As a single girl looking for a relationship I can honestly tell you the amount of people I've recognised from here is unreal - on all of the apps.

I actually met someone from here before all the lockdown stuff who matched me on tinder first - just didn't work out.

Saying that you wouldn't look on here specifically doesn't really count.

I've had matches ask me outright if I'm on fab as they've spoken to or messaged me on here.

Many single guys know of fab so it's going to cross over alot

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By *ll.night.longCouple  over a year ago

Bristol

Me and my partner met for a meet at the end of 2017 and weren’t looking for a relationship at all so just became great FWB and the more we ended up hanging out the more we realised how much we had in common and liked each other then after 6 months started a relationship and haven’t looked back, it’s been amazing so it does happen

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By *otwife and MasterCouple  over a year ago

Derby


"Swinging isn't defined. So even if you met someone in the lifestyle and wanted to make a go of things, what they might want from swinging as a couple is likely to be a bit different from what you want. And couples swinging is different from single swinging, you'll have opinions on what you want to share versus what you might want to keep separate, you'll like different things etc

One thing I've learnt is that swinging as a couple is about finding that compromise point between your fantasies that works for both of you. Whereas some of the comments here seem more like I want a relationship but still want to swing the way I do as a single person. For example, I'm pretty happy for my wife to do whatever she wants sexually, but if I thought she was taking a safety risk or if there was something I really didn't like, or if for some reason I felt I was really excluded when I wanted to be included...I certainly in a relationship would expect I could have some influence over that.

So in a way it's the same as every other aspect of being in a relationship, there has to be compromise.... If you are unwilling to compromise at all, then you'll have to be very lucky to find someone who wants exactly what you want....i.e. it's not going to happen"

Totally this

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By *AM2214Man  over a year ago

Manchester Area


"I dated vanilla once, now she is the other half of this profile so it can work, just persist.

When I have explained to vanilla males before that I swing, they're all interested and asking questions saying they'd love to do it and go to parties etc but then I explain I swing with my girlfriend their attitude changes to 'what, you're just happy with other people fucking your mrs?' It might be insecurities that other men might be better than them "

Surely if both are into swinging then pleasure is key... You each have someone who you want to be with who gives you physi Al and mental satisfaction. It might not be for everyone but even in swinging there are many levels.. You are both Bi.. Mmmm.... Other couples just Bi Fem and abhor Bi men... Each to their own glad you two are happy as will the OP be I would think...

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By *ost SockMan  over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

I’ve been single all my time on Fab. I’ve been lucky enough to form connections with some great couples.

I do think I have an idealised view, but they’ve been awesome people, and I’ve admired the honesty, openess and love they share. I often contrast it with more conventional couples I’m friendly with, whose relationships seem moribund.

It does make me long for something similar. Honestly, it’s not because of the prospect of an exciting sex life, it’s because those couoles seem more.....alive .

Again, I’m probably idealistic about this!

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By *AM2214Man  over a year ago

Manchester Area


"YOU can't convert them unless they want to be converted. If it's like an ultimatum from you, that's abuse not conversion.

Abuse?

Obviously can't force anyone to do what they don't want to do, but rather open the idea up to them, just as it was initially opened up to me when I was dating a guy I met from the fish site.

Sometimes people just are incompatible and their values are different. If I met a guy on a vanilla dating site and asked him what his thoughts were on swinging and he looked down on people who do it or even women who who are sexually liberated, obviously that would be a deal breaker for me as I don't hold that same belief and would see him as someone with a narrow mind.

I dunno how we have 1+1 and arrive at 5

My OP has explained it better than my thread title "

no confusion from most responding..

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By *attooCTMan  over a year ago

Glasgow /Swansea

I’d date a girl I used to meet from here before the pandemic 100%

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By *ristenloveCouple  over a year ago

London


"So, I'm a single woman into the swinging lifestyle. I started off as part of a couple and have dated a few people in the lifestyle but nothing too serious.

I would love to date and establish a genuine connection and relationship with someone without sacrificing the freedom to explore sexually with others.

It always seems like one without the other though. Date a vanilla and they don't like the idea of swinging, date a swinger and they're afraid of commitment

I dunno if I'll find the happy median.

What do the couples on here think and what advice could you give me?

Thank you x

That would be the dream for me too "

We are here

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By *harisajidanWoman  over a year ago

london

I’d do both but much rather prefer dating a swinger because then we already have established shared interests and I don’t have to do much more educating.

It’s weird, they really should start a Fab Singles dating site because why wouldn’t you want to find people who share the same lifestyle as you sexually? It’s hard enough to figure that out or ask it in the beginning stages of Vanilla dating. *shrugs*

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By *harisajidanWoman  over a year ago

london


"if i was single i would not look for a partner from fab/swinging for a relationship ... i would be in the dating world looking for someone who like me wants more and wants to journey together ...

As a single girl looking for a relationship I can honestly tell you the amount of people I've recognised from here is unreal - on all of the apps.

I actually met someone from here before all the lockdown stuff who matched me on tinder first - just didn't work out.

Saying that you wouldn't look on here specifically doesn't really count.

I've had matches ask me outright if I'm on fab as they've spoken to or messaged me on here.

Many single guys know of fab so it's going to cross over alot"

Girl, me too, I’ve seen them LOL— all these dudes are on the vanilla dating apps too.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am just bookmarking to read others opinions however, I feel as though the strength of any relationship is more important than any optional fun.

I am single by choice, I like my life to be mine and all decisions to be mine.

However if I did fall in love with someone who wasn't into this lifestyle I would happily leave for them.

Just my tuppence!"

As above n if I met them off here just have to trust that they do the same

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Be ideal to date a swinger as shared interest

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By *thleticgirthMan  over a year ago

wirral

This is exactly how i feel as well, apparently its frowned upon by a lot of fabbers though- mainly couples who already have what they want and what we are looking for.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan  over a year ago

.


"What do you mean by commitment. I am a little confused. Is a regular fwb what you are looking for?

No, I have a couple of fwb but I mean a relationship where we can do vanilla things, make plans, but still be open to inviting others into our bed."

I never came on fab for that, Just a bit of fun and to pass the time away,

But now in a great relationship, Slow steps but introducing other people maybe further down the line, Still enjoying each others company and have some great friends to socialize with

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By *angbangFantasy OP   Woman  over a year ago

London


"This is exactly how i feel as well, apparently its frowned upon by a lot of fabbers though- mainly couples who already have what they want and what we are looking for."

Frowned upon?

Well that's not very nice...

I joined this as part of a couple, just didn't work out and so as a singleton in the lifestyle is it so bad to want to have what other couples that swing have?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Weve actually met quite a few single men who have double standards, love sharing someone's wife or girlfriend but wouldn't share theirs..its just a case of be on the lookout we are sure you will find someone probably when you least expect it.

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By *appychix77Couple  over a year ago

DERBY

This is exactly what I'm looking for, be a real/normal couple but swing too

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By *hynot3Man  over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"I have with some limited success drawn vanillas over to the dark side of kink... but swinging seems to be just a step too far.

Sure it can be a fascination, but part of a longer term lifestyle choice not so much.

"

Love that...drawn them over to the dark side....what was your persuasion?...if you don’t mind me asking

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By *ryptoMan  over a year ago

neath

Wow..... I'm looking for a swinger relationship and let me tell you that I'd bite your hand off if you lived closer..... And of course if you like me xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We met on fab. We just met like a normal meet then we got chatting and chatting etc then was near on meeting daily. Were now in a.commited relationship, we have had meets looking forward to swingfest in summer and go to our local club because we love the social side to this as much as the sex.

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By *azpiz1Man  over a year ago

Camberley

I'd love to develop a relationship with a swinger..

All those amazing sexy times, together, separately, parties, clubs..

Excuse me whilst I have a cold shower!

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By *azpiz1Man  over a year ago

Camberley


"

That would be the dream for me too "

I'm not that far away, older & dominant, but you would have to decide if I'm hung...

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By *sianMancMan  over a year ago

Manchester


"So, I'm a single woman into the swinging lifestyle. I started off as part of a couple and have dated a few people in the lifestyle but nothing too serious.

I would love to date and establish a genuine connection and relationship with someone without sacrificing the freedom to explore sexually with others.

It always seems like one without the other though. Date a vanilla and they don't like the idea of swinging, date a swinger and they're afraid of commitment

I dunno if I'll find the happy median.

What do the couples on here think and what advice could you give me?

Thank you x"

I smiled reading this because I joined here 6yrs ago seeking exactly this a relationship with this mature way of thinking.

I cannot dm you so please do dm me... let's talk and see if we see eye to eye.

That being said yes I've found the same whilst trying to find the one. Xx

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By *pices69Couple  over a year ago

Gravesend

We met on a site... Hit it off immediately.

10 years later, still very much addicted to each other.

We did have a 6 month break from anything/anyone else when we first started seeing each other, so we could focus on the us part.

Guess we got very lucky. Just met each other at the right time, and plan to spend the rest of our days, being adventurous in every way, not just this thing lol.

Good luck.

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By *ocoTemptationMan  over a year ago

london


"Weve actually met quite a few single men who have double standards, love sharing someone's wife or girlfriend but wouldn't share theirs..its just a case of be on the lookout we are sure you will find someone probably when you least expect it."

Oh that winds me up too. When I'm partnered I never knowingly let a guy with that mindset play with us.

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By *ewhorizonsCouple  over a year ago

Leicestershire


"What do you mean by commitment. I am a little confused. Is a regular fwb what you are looking for?

No, I have a couple of fwb but I mean a relationship where we can do vanilla things, make plans, but still be open to inviting others into our bed."

Look among the alternative scene, hippy/poly, naturist sort of folk. Much more accepting of this lifestyle, less uptight and more open to relationships that deviate from the ‘norm’. Your average bloke down the pub or on Tinder won’t be able to deal with dating a swinger.

Go to some festivals this Summer and I hope you’ll find what you are looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Would be my ideal...

Meet someone here with a real connection to date, but share the lifestyle with also

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By *obbiKentMan  over a year ago

maidstone

feelng really lucky to have found a soul mate and partner for all, life is good and full of fun

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By *lana Honey-LingusTV/TS  over a year ago

bolton

This would be perfect for me.. but always gonna be hard to find a lady that accepts I dress x

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By *oody40Man  over a year ago

Port Talbot

Perhaps we need some type of FAB dating? Maybe something like tinder?

Just a thought …

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By *oody40Man  over a year ago

Port Talbot

I joined here as part of a couple, but we split 18 months ago.

My thoughts about this are simple … I want a partner who WANTS to join me in this lifestyle. Equally, I wouldn’t want to risk a new (vanilla) relationship that could be the love of my life. If I am lucky enough to meet someone now, (who I properly fell for) and she didn’t want the lifestyle I would rather pursue the relationship

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By *ofdiamondsMan  over a year ago

Between wisbech & Kings lynn

Tbh I think if you both have the conversation early enough there's no reason why it couldn't work both ways.

I'd certainly have no issue dating someone who swings as ultimately it's physical not emotional gratification and they would love you not everyone the meet at clubs. Maybe that's naive of me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Same! This is exactly what I’m looking for!

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By *aron_TentakuruMan  over a year ago

Exeter

Can sympathise. Not quite sure how to break out of the'Single guy'rut on here when most clubs are off limits to single men (in my region, at least) and recently it seems a lot of the socials organised on here are too. And I don't know if its a function of my age or what but even the apps aimed at more casual dating ie t1nder seem to be full of people looking for vanilla, monogamous relationships.

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By *aron_TentakuruMan  over a year ago

Exeter

Can sympathise. Not quite sure how to break out of the'Single guy'rut on here when most clubs are off limits to single men (in my region, at least) and recently it seems a lot of the socials organised on here are too. And I don't know if its a function of my age or what but even the apps aimed at more casual dating ie t1nder seem to be full of people looking for vanilla, monogamous relationships. Im definitely finding it difficult.

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By *mmixtapeCouple  over a year ago

middle earth


"Can sympathise. Not quite sure how to break out of the'Single guy'rut on here when most clubs are off limits to single men (in my region, at least) and recently it seems a lot of the socials organised on here are too. And I don't know if its a function of my age or what but even the apps aimed at more casual dating ie t1nder seem to be full of people looking for vanilla, monogamous relationships. Im definitely finding it difficult. "

You need to try Cupid the dating site

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By *ynecplCouple  over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

You might get lucky and find somebody on here who matches what you are looking for but I imagine most couples on here will say they started out in the normal monogamous routine and progressed to swinging as the years passed.

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By *aron_TentakuruMan  over a year ago

Exeter


"Can sympathise. Not quite sure how to break out of the'Single guy'rut on here when most clubs are off limits to single men (in my region, at least) and recently it seems a lot of the socials organised on here are too. And I don't know if its a function of my age or what but even the apps aimed at more casual dating ie t1nder seem to be full of people looking for vanilla, monogamous relationships. Im definitely finding it difficult.

You need to try Cupid the dating site "

But it's crap compared to how it used to be! All my 'local' matches are hundreds of miles away, the whole site is gimped now compared to how it used to be. And for what it's worth OKC was really good for me back in the day, I met my ex on there and before getting together with her met quite a few other cool women... It's almost like they don't want the site to work like it should unless you pay

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By *dhoneyCouple  over a year ago

luton

We met on her 7 years ago neither of us looking for anything now married and couldn't be happier

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By *r easy1981Man  over a year ago

leeds

I am in the same boat it’s hard out here

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By *lassy_but_sassyWoman  over a year ago

Birmingham

I'd love this situation too! A guy to date and actually enjoy normal dating relationship things with, but to also enjoy the kinky things that I want to do with. Bringing in other guys and girls, agreed on beforehand, but having a loyal guy that won't cheat on me outside of the agreed extras!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don’t think it exists. Never tried fab for a relationship but my experience is sexually liberated women especially those that swing scare the shit out of most men

Fab for swinging

Tind** for vanilla dating - I’m innocent

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By *host63Man  over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I would love to have this too but it's eluded me. My advice is to go to socials and clubs and if you see someone you like get talking.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd love this situation too! A guy to date and actually enjoy normal dating relationship things with, but to also enjoy the kinky things that I want to do with. Bringing in other guys and girls, agreed on beforehand, but having a loyal guy that won't cheat on me outside of the agreed extras! "

To find someone who is looking for this, is exactly why I joined FAB

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd love this situation too! A guy to date and actually enjoy normal dating relationship things with, but to also enjoy the kinky things that I want to do with. Bringing in other guys and girls, agreed on beforehand, but having a loyal guy that won't cheat on me outside of the agreed extras!

To find someone who is looking for this, is exactly why I joined FAB"

Yup - you, me and 47,000 other guys

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By *lassy_but_sassyWoman  over a year ago

Birmingham


"I'd love this situation too! A guy to date and actually enjoy normal dating relationship things with, but to also enjoy the kinky things that I want to do with. Bringing in other guys and girls, agreed on beforehand, but having a loyal guy that won't cheat on me outside of the agreed extras!

To find someone who is looking for this, is exactly why I joined FAB

Yup - you, me and 47,000 other guys "

So why am I struggling to find it if there's sooooo many of them here?

Orrr could it actually be that there's very few, and the majority just want to get laid

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd love this situation too! A guy to date and actually enjoy normal dating relationship things with, but to also enjoy the kinky things that I want to do with. Bringing in other guys and girls, agreed on beforehand, but having a loyal guy that won't cheat on me outside of the agreed extras!

To find someone who is looking for this, is exactly why I joined FAB

Yup - you, me and 47,000 other guys

So why am I struggling to find it if there's sooooo many of them here?

Orrr could it actually be that there's very few, and the majority just want to get laid "

Very true. It’s double standards. Not many guys want to date girls who swing met two recently which was fun so there’s a glimmer of hope.

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By *lassy_but_sassyWoman  over a year ago

Birmingham


"I'd love this situation too! A guy to date and actually enjoy normal dating relationship things with, but to also enjoy the kinky things that I want to do with. Bringing in other guys and girls, agreed on beforehand, but having a loyal guy that won't cheat on me outside of the agreed extras!

To find someone who is looking for this, is exactly why I joined FAB

Yup - you, me and 47,000 other guys

So why am I struggling to find it if there's sooooo many of them here?

Orrr could it actually be that there's very few, and the majority just want to get laid

Very true. It’s double standards. Not many guys want to date girls who swing met two recently which was fun so there’s a glimmer of hope.

"

Fingers crossed!!

Btw just looked at your profile and it's ace, really had me giggling and going YES!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd love this situation too! A guy to date and actually enjoy normal dating relationship things with, but to also enjoy the kinky things that I want to do with. Bringing in other guys and girls, agreed on beforehand, but having a loyal guy that won't cheat on me outside of the agreed extras!

To find someone who is looking for this, is exactly why I joined FAB

Yup - you, me and 47,000 other guys

So why am I struggling to find it if there's sooooo many of them here?

Orrr could it actually be that there's very few, and the majority just want to get laid

Very true. It’s double standards. Not many guys want to date girls who swing met two recently which was fun so there’s a glimmer of hope.

Fingers crossed!!

Btw just looked at your profile and it's ace, really had me giggling and going YES! "

Please feel free to add, amend and improve

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd love this situation too! A guy to date and actually enjoy normal dating relationship things with, but to also enjoy the kinky things that I want to do with. Bringing in other guys and girls, agreed on beforehand, but having a loyal guy that won't cheat on me outside of the agreed extras!

To find someone who is looking for this, is exactly why I joined FAB

Yup - you, me and 47,000 other guys

So why am I struggling to find it if there's sooooo many of them here?

Orrr could it actually be that there's very few, and the majority just want to get laid "

There are some of us who want to be part of a couple. Swingle life is not as much fun. Vanilla doesn’t interest me. So I know that’s my aim. Once you’ve tasted it everything else is just - meh.

For me - It’s more the dynamic of the adventure. I want a partner who can and wants to play too. Not just with me. It’s a bit of a difficult thing to find for guys on here because you single ladies are so few and far between or not looking for that. And you have a lot of wheat to search through… like you say a lot are one dimensional and looking only for an ‘easy’ lay.

But I’m probably tarring a lot with the same brush. I know a few people in great relationships that met on here. I’m still looking for the right lady. Sure she’s out there.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd love this situation too! A guy to date and actually enjoy normal dating relationship things with, but to also enjoy the kinky things that I want to do with. Bringing in other guys and girls, agreed on beforehand, but having a loyal guy that won't cheat on me outside of the agreed extras!

To find someone who is looking for this, is exactly why I joined FAB

Yup - you, me and 47,000 other guys

So why am I struggling to find it if there's sooooo many of them here?

Orrr could it actually be that there's very few, and the majority just want to get laid

Very true. It’s double standards. Not many guys want to date girls who swing met two recently which was fun so there’s a glimmer of hope.

"

Yep I think there's a lot to the double standard theory. I've got a 'mate' who cheated on his g/f all the time, but if she even flirted with other men he would get annoyed with her...total hypocrite (as well as a twat)

But we genuine non jealous guys, who do mean it, do exist too, it's just separating the wheat from the chaff

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd love this situation too! A guy to date and actually enjoy normal dating relationship things with, but to also enjoy the kinky things that I want to do with. Bringing in other guys and girls, agreed on beforehand, but having a loyal guy that won't cheat on me outside of the agreed extras!

To find someone who is looking for this, is exactly why I joined FAB

Yup - you, me and 47,000 other guys

So why am I struggling to find it if there's sooooo many of them here?

Orrr could it actually be that there's very few, and the majority just want to get laid

There are some of us who want to be part of a couple. Swingle life is not as much fun. Vanilla doesn’t interest me. So I know that’s my aim. Once you’ve tasted it everything else is just - meh.

For me - It’s more the dynamic of the adventure. I want a partner who can and wants to play too. Not just with me. It’s a bit of a difficult thing to find for guys on here because you single ladies are so few and far between or not looking for that. And you have a lot of wheat to search through… like you say a lot are one dimensional and looking only for an ‘easy’ lay.

But I’m probably tarring a lot with the same brush. I know a few people in great relationships that met on here. I’m still looking for the right lady. Sure she’s out there.

"

Yep I agree

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This is the only reason I keep coming back to Fab

Seems too complicated trying to explain on Tinder and let's be honest, probably half the guys on here who FAF are the same guys from Tinder looking for the same.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman  over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

trying slowly to convert... so far he likes the idea of me sucking another man's cock while he fucks me ... its just a fantasy, not sure he get jealous with me having a big cock

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman  over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"This is the only reason I keep coming back to Fab

Seems too complicated trying to explain on Tinder and let's be honest, probably half the guys on here who FAF are the same guys from Tinder looking for the same.

"

yes i noticed fab boys on tinder too

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By *toC Thats MeWoman  over a year ago

Sheffield


"This is the only reason I keep coming back to Fab

Seems too complicated trying to explain on Tinder and let's be honest, probably half the guys on here who FAF are the same guys from Tinder looking for the same.

"

I’ve never used tinder but have noticed it on other dating apps. I’ve just resorted to sticking to Fab now x

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By *elsh_naturist_coupleCouple  over a year ago

Newport

It certainly possible both ways.

You just need to be up front.

I would probably add that to your swinging profile that you are also looking for a relationship.

And if you using a dating site explain you also enjoy swinging and explain what it is about it you enjoy.

You will probably get a lot of wasters messaging but you will just have to be careful to the time wasters out.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I joined Fab to primarily meet someone who is sexually openminded and enjoys swinging and who is quite sexual.

Tried meeting people on ‘normal’ dating sites but not really found what I’m looking for, so I decided to try Fab to find someone who is mature enough and not someone of a jealous disposition, who can hold down a relationship doing all the normal things couples do but is also inclined to the occasional swinging or parties etc.

My thoughts are if you can be in a strong enough relationship with someone who can help you explore your fantasies or sexual preferences whatever they may be can only strengthen that relationship and in turn prevents cheating as your not looking to fulfil sexual desire elsewhere if you have a partner with whom you can do all that with.

I’m wondering if there’s any other people on Fab who have joined for this or a similar reason? If so I’d love to hear from you if your also looking for dating or a long term relationship

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