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Vent and whatever you lot want to judge

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no

Okay okay last forum post it’s kind of a bit of a rant so I’ve been listening and taking on everyone’s advice on the forum I’ve changed my username three Times now I’ve changed what I put on my profile I’ve changed my sexual identity on my profile I’ve contacted couples and addressed them both in my messages to them I have also been respectful I Honestly feel like there is something wrong with me at this point please help anyone who lives and read sit honestly feel like there is something wrong with me at this point please help anyone who lives and recite In Somerset please

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman  over a year ago

Thurrock

I can't see your profile so am unable to offer any personal advice but possibly that's why you aren't getting any responses

Have you accidentally hidden your profile while updating it, not being able to see who they are chatting to is likely to put most people off

Apologies if others can see your profile and it's just me out of preference etc just thought it was worth a mention just incase

Don't take this site personally you seem to find your either flooded with messages or get none at all

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By *abybugWoman  over a year ago

space

Considering you messaged me and my partner on our couples profile and then blocked us seconds later for no reason....

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no

I probably blocked you (your couples account) because you (your couples account) just ignored my message (like some people on here) I am trying to find your account now

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no

Couldn’t find you (couples account) on my block list so I don’t know what’s happened

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman  over a year ago

Thurrock

Check your filters sometimes it looks like you've blocked people where realky it's just a box tucked you didn't mean to

Like I said I can't see your profile & when I looked at your previous posts quite a few others face said the same

I have a feeling your not being ignored you've just accidentally hidden your profile or tightened your filters further than you meant to

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hi I wonder if any one can tell me why people makes arrangements and don’t turn up , no message to say they can’t make it , you travel 50 miles to find out no table has been booked and no body shows

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" Okay okay last forum post it’s kind of a bit of a rant so I’ve been listening and taking on everyone’s advice on the forum I’ve changed my username three Times now I’ve changed what I put on my profile I’ve changed my sexual identity on my profile I’ve contacted couples and addressed them both in my messages to them I have also been respectful I Honestly feel like there is something wrong with me at this point please help anyone who lives and read sit honestly feel like there is something wrong with me at this point please help anyone who lives and recite In Somerset please"

And there you have it in the STATUS....Why would anyone want to contact you after writing that. Seriously it smacks of look at me and desperation. Please get rid of it

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no

[Removed by poster at 17/06/21 15:52:01]

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By *anky_PankyWoman  over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

You appear to be taking this a little too seriously OP, Fab is about FUN!

As a single female with an unfiltered profile, I get a LOT of messages and simply can't read them all, there are just too damned many - I won't be alone in that. What I am saying is people miss messages at times, I also know a lot of couples who read messages together - one may read it and wait for the other to read it too before replying - there is no reason to be blocking people who don't respond quickly

I wish you luck on your Fab quest but hope you can chill out a bit - I have to agree with the post above too, that status would stop me replying to someone no matter how delicious I potentially thought them

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By *uv Bunnies 2020Couple  over a year ago

basingstoke


"You appear to be taking this a little too seriously OP, Fab is about FUN!

As a single female with an unfiltered profile, I get a LOT of messages and simply can't read them all, there are just too damned many - I won't be alone in that. What I am saying is people miss messages at times, I also know a lot of couples who read messages together - one may read it and wait for the other to read it too before replying - there is no reason to be blocking people who don't respond quickly

I wish you luck on your Fab quest but hope you can chill out a bit - I have to agree with the post above too, that status would stop me replying to someone no matter how delicious I potentially thought them"

She just blocked us because we didn’t reply straight away lol. She only messaged us 7 minutes ago!

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


"You appear to be taking this a little too seriously OP, Fab is about FUN!

As a single female with an unfiltered profile, I get a LOT of messages and simply can't read them all, there are just too damned many - I won't be alone in that. What I am saying is people miss messages at times, I also know a lot of couples who read messages together - one may read it and wait for the other to read it too before replying - there is no reason to be blocking people who don't respond quickly

I wish you luck on your Fab quest but hope you can chill out a bit - I have to agree with the post above too, that status would stop me replying to someone no matter how delicious I potentially thought them

She just blocked us because we didn’t reply straight away lol. She only messaged us 7 minutes ago! "

not blocked plus you literally live in Scotland

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would say stop changing things to what you think people want, and be yourself.

Fab is fun, get involved in the forum, get to know people and just enjoy it.

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By *uv Bunnies 2020Couple  over a year ago

basingstoke


"You appear to be taking this a little too seriously OP, Fab is about FUN!

As a single female with an unfiltered profile, I get a LOT of messages and simply can't read them all, there are just too damned many - I won't be alone in that. What I am saying is people miss messages at times, I also know a lot of couples who read messages together - one may read it and wait for the other to read it too before replying - there is no reason to be blocking people who don't respond quickly

I wish you luck on your Fab quest but hope you can chill out a bit - I have to agree with the post above too, that status would stop me replying to someone no matter how delicious I potentially thought them

She just blocked us because we didn’t reply straight away lol. She only messaged us 7 minutes ago! not blocked plus you literally live in Scotland "

We don’t live in Scotland. X

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple  over a year ago

Darlington


"I would say stop changing things to what you think people want, and be yourself.

Fab is fun, get involved in the forum, get to know people and just enjoy it.

"

Absoultely this. Be who you want to be and focus on what you enjoy.

You'll find others who are into the same things sooner or later.

If it's not fun it's not worth doing and trying to please others and what they think on here is a short ride to misery.

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By *nfamousbutFunWoman  over a year ago

Maidenhead

Honestly. Your profiles a little confusing and aggressive. You say you got balaclava pics to hide your face because of a super secret job but then have pics of your face?

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


"Honestly. Your profiles a little confusing and aggressive. You say you got balaclava pics to hide your face because of a super secret job but then have pics of your face? "

Have you seen my previous posts on the forums

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By *iablo soloWoman  over a year ago

Southside


"Honestly. Your profiles a little confusing and aggressive. You say you got balaclava pics to hide your face because of a super secret job but then have pics of your face?

Have you seen my previous posts on the forums "

I'm still lost why u blocked me I dont even live in the same country as you!?

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


"Honestly. Your profiles a little confusing and aggressive. You say you got balaclava pics to hide your face because of a super secret job but then have pics of your face?

Have you seen my previous posts on the forums

I'm still lost why u blocked me I dont even live in the same country as you!?"

That’s why

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By *iablo soloWoman  over a year ago

Southside


"Honestly. Your profiles a little confusing and aggressive. You say you got balaclava pics to hide your face because of a super secret job but then have pics of your face?

Have you seen my previous posts on the forums

I'm still lost why u blocked me I dont even live in the same country as you!?

That’s why "

Ok I was only going to give u words of encouragement

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no

[Removed by poster at 18/06/21 20:28:02]

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By *yronMan  over a year ago

grangemouth


"You appear to be taking this a little too seriously OP, Fab is about FUN!

As a single female with an unfiltered profile, I get a LOT of messages and simply can't read them all, there are just too damned many - I won't be alone in that. What I am saying is people miss messages at times, I also know a lot of couples who read messages together - one may read it and wait for the other to read it too before replying - there is no reason to be blocking people who don't respond quickly

I wish you luck on your Fab quest but hope you can chill out a bit - I have to agree with the post above too, that status would stop me replying to someone no matter how delicious I potentially thought them

She just blocked us because we didn’t reply straight away lol. She only messaged us 7 minutes ago! not blocked plus you literally live in Scotland

We don’t live in Scotland. X"

Has Basingstoke moved to Scotland? Really? Well, welcome to the neighbourhood!

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By *yronMan  over a year ago

grangemouth


"Honestly. Your profiles a little confusing and aggressive. You say you got balaclava pics to hide your face because of a super secret job but then have pics of your face?

Have you seen my previous posts on the forums

I'm still lost why u blocked me I dont even live in the same country as you!?

That’s why "

I don't see the problem? If they live in a different country to you, you could still be friends.

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


"Honestly. Your profiles a little confusing and aggressive. You say you got balaclava pics to hide your face because of a super secret job but then have pics of your face?

Have you seen my previous posts on the forums

I'm still lost why u blocked me I dont even live in the same country as you!?

That’s why

I don't see the problem? If they live in a different country to you, you could still be friends."

okay fine I will be there friend

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By *teveanddebsCouple  over a year ago

Norwich

Is this your third or fourth post on this subject OP?

To be honest it smacks of desperation which will put people off straight away.

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By *irginieWoman  over a year ago

Near Marlborough

This is an odd one. It’s generally considered that a solo woman who wants to meet with couples is something of a delight and you should be inundated

You’ve had some good advice. For me, I’d say try to sort your profile out for YOU not for other people. You have lots of pictures which is good but lots are very samey so perhaps hide a few for now. I get the impression from your forum posts and profile that you are either younger than you state or you are just very young at heart, this is obviously a wonderful thing but couples may find that something to be wary off. Try to stabilise your profile and how you are responding …. Blocking after 5 mins and then saying “ok I’ll be their friend” just because someone suggested it here makes it seem like you’re desperate to please others. Not yourself.

This is a fun place to be but if you’re not emotionally strong and able to roll with the punches you may find it tricky.

V x

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


" I Honestly feel like there is something wrong with me at this point please help anyone who lives and read sit honestly feel like there is something wrong with me at this point please help anyone who lives and recite In Somerset please"

Roxy, are you wanting help with your profile or how you are feeling ?

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By *aekaeWoman  over a year ago

Between a cock and a soft place


" Okay okay last forum post it’s kind of a bit of a rant so I’ve been listening and taking on everyone’s advice on the forum I’ve changed my username three Times now I’ve changed what I put on my profile I’ve changed my sexual identity on my profile I’ve contacted couples and addressed them both in my messages to them I have also been respectful I Honestly feel like there is something wrong with me at this point please help anyone who lives and read sit honestly feel like there is something wrong with me at this point please help anyone who lives and recite In Somerset please"

My tuppenceworth, stop changing your profile to please others, write it to please you.

Write it so it represents you, what you're looking for and what you offer.

Constantly rewriting it based on what other people suggest (and yes there's irony here) loses the you that's you.

Also, having read through this and your other threads, it seems you message people and block them minutes later, before they've had a chance to read your message, let alone reply to you.

That's never going to get the interaction you're looking for.

Good luck in the future, I hope you find what you're looking for.

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


" Okay okay last forum post it’s kind of a bit of a rant so I’ve been listening and taking on everyone’s advice on the forum I’ve changed my username three Times now I’ve changed what I put on my profile I’ve changed my sexual identity on my profile I’ve contacted couples and addressed them both in my messages to them I have also been respectful I Honestly feel like there is something wrong with me at this point please help anyone who lives and read sit honestly feel like there is something wrong with me at this point please help anyone who lives and recite In Somerset please

My tuppenceworth, stop changing your profile to please others, write it to please you.

Write it so it represents you, what you're looking for and what you offer.

Constantly rewriting it based on what other people suggest (and yes there's irony here) loses the you that's you.

Also, having read through this and your other threads, it seems you message people and block them minutes later, before they've had a chance to read your message, let alone reply to you.

That's never going to get the interaction you're looking for.

Good luck in the future, I hope you find what you're looking for.

"

Okay I just want to get people to understand something I wasn’t going to reply till later on this evening but I may as well say my side of things so people understand, you are saying I block people after a few minutes no that’s incorrect I block people who are 1 not in my local area (Somerset) 2 I block people who don’t have a profile picture

3 I block people who I know are not interested based on the fact that I would send an message and go back and forth with the other person and then when it comes to setting up a meet they bail or like when I talk to them on Skype and then they don’t message me ever again. I’m not trying to sound desperate I’m just done with people taking the piss because I know if I did that then I would have people shitting down on me, and nine times out of ten I’m not even the one who sent the first message. I’m not mad I’m not angry just annoyed at certain people. And didn’t most of you say block and move on if someone is rude to me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Honestly. Your profiles a little confusing and aggressive. You say you got balaclava pics to hide your face because of a super secret job but then have pics of your face?

Have you seen my previous posts on the forums

I'm still lost why u blocked me I dont even live in the same country as you!?

That’s why

I don't see the problem? If they live in a different country to you, you could still be friends.okay fine I will be there friend "

I think maybe now they wnt want to be. Thats a very immature answer.

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By *aekaeWoman  over a year ago

Between a cock and a soft place


" Okay okay last forum post it’s kind of a bit of a rant so I’ve been listening and taking on everyone’s advice on the forum I’ve changed my username three Times now I’ve changed what I put on my profile I’ve changed my sexual identity on my profile I’ve contacted couples and addressed them both in my messages to them I have also been respectful I Honestly feel like there is something wrong with me at this point please help anyone who lives and read sit honestly feel like there is something wrong with me at this point please help anyone who lives and recite In Somerset please

My tuppenceworth, stop changing your profile to please others, write it to please you.

Write it so it represents you, what you're looking for and what you offer.

Constantly rewriting it based on what other people suggest (and yes there's irony here) loses the you that's you.

Also, having read through this and your other threads, it seems you message people and block them minutes later, before they've had a chance to read your message, let alone reply to you.

That's never going to get the interaction you're looking for.

Good luck in the future, I hope you find what you're looking for.

Okay I just want to get people to understand something I wasn’t going to reply till later on this evening but I may as well say my side of things so people understand, you are saying I block people after a few minutes no that’s incorrect I block people who are 1 not in my local area (Somerset) 2 I block people who don’t have a profile picture

3 I block people who I know are not interested based on the fact that I would send an message and go back and forth with the other person and then when it comes to setting up a meet they bail or like when I talk to them on Skype and then they don’t message me ever again. I’m not trying to sound desperate I’m just done with people taking the piss because I know if I did that then I would have people shitting down on me, and nine times out of ten I’m not even the one who sent the first message. I’m not mad I’m not angry just annoyed at certain people. And didn’t most of you say block and move on if someone is rude to me "

Interesting.

The comments on this and several of your other threads seem to suggest you do message and block within a few minutes.

However, you've asked for advice, I've offered it.

It's not compulsory to accept anyone's advice if you feel it isn't of benefit.

Good luck on Fab.

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no

[Removed by poster at 19/06/21 10:40:52]

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By *immyleaMan  over a year ago

Derby

Well I can't speak for the OP as I've never seen their profile- although obviously, I guess that most couples and single women on this site must be literally inundated with requests, for such is the strata of our society. And with time being limited, they can't always reply to, read or consider all of them individually. They would LITERALLY, not even figuratively, be there all day.

What I understand less, perhaps, is why when you see someone flagged on your local updates that meets your preferences, seems to be into almost all the same things as you, professes to be looking for fuckbuddies that are roughly the same height and build as you and even has a PARTNER that looks quite like you, they still delete your polite and articulately-written message without replying. That DOES seem quite nonsensical, especially when a day or so later they're still practically begging for a hookup from 'anyone available' on their status update- although I also fully understand that the long hair I grew back over three Cockdowns will not be to everybody's taste [which is one of the reasons why it's getting a trim before Swingathon, the heat being another]

In short, some ten years on from joining Fab, I have come to the conclusion that much as with most things in life- politics, computers, musical tastes, football - there ARE no constants only variables, nothing makes any form of linear sense, and you can't even remotely attempt to second guess it. Pandemic or no pandemic, human beings will always be fallible and ultimately a bit crap. However, that hasn't stopped me having immense ammounts of fun at most of the clubs I've attended for the last 25 years, and playing with some amazing people who also quite seemed to like me. I've just never met very many of them on here.

I suppose the more pertinent question, therefore, is when those clubs will open up again, and under what if any restrictions. Only time, and the machinations of politicians and businessmen, will tell...

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


" Okay okay last forum post it’s kind of a bit of a rant so I’ve been listening and taking on everyone’s advice on the forum I’ve changed my username three Times now I’ve changed what I put on my profile I’ve changed my sexual identity on my profile I’ve contacted couples and addressed them both in my messages to them I have also been respectful I Honestly feel like there is something wrong with me at this point please help anyone who lives and read sit honestly feel like there is something wrong with me at this point please help anyone who lives and recite In Somerset please

My tuppenceworth, stop changing your profile to please others, write it to please you.

Write it so it represents you, what you're looking for and what you offer.

Constantly rewriting it based on what other people suggest (and yes there's irony here) loses the you that's you.

Also, having read through this and your other threads, it seems you message people and block them minutes later, before they've had a chance to read your message, let alone reply to you.

That's never going to get the interaction you're looking for.

Good luck in the future, I hope you find what you're looking for.

Okay I just want to get people to understand something I wasn’t going to reply till later on this evening but I may as well say my side of things so people understand, you are saying I block people after a few minutes no that’s incorrect I block people who are 1 not in my local area (Somerset) 2 I block people who don’t have a profile picture

3 I block people who I know are not interested based on the fact that I would send an message and go back and forth with the other person and then when it comes to setting up a meet they bail or like when I talk to them on Skype and then they don’t message me ever again. I’m not trying to sound desperate I’m just done with people taking the piss because I know if I did that then I would have people shitting down on me, and nine times out of ten I’m not even the one who sent the first message. I’m not mad I’m not angry just annoyed at certain people. And didn’t most of you say block and move on if someone is rude to me

Interesting.

The comments on this and several of your other threads seem to suggest you do message and block within a few minutes.

However, you've asked for advice, I've offered it.

It's not compulsory to accept anyone's advice if you feel it isn't of benefit.

Good luck on Fab. "

Thanks

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By * Plus ECouple  over a year ago

The South


"Well I can't speak for the OP as I've never seen their profile- although obviously, I guess that most couples and single women on this site must be literally inundated with requests, for such is the strata of our society. And with time being limited, they can't always reply to, read or consider all of them individually. They would LITERALLY, not even figuratively, be there all day.

What I understand less, perhaps, is why when you see someone flagged on your local updates that meets your preferences, seems to be into almost all the same things as you, professes to be looking for fuckbuddies that are roughly the same height and build as you and even has a PARTNER that looks quite like you, they still delete your polite and articulately-written message without replying. That DOES seem quite nonsensical, especially when a day or so later they're still practically begging for a hookup from 'anyone available' on their status update- although I also fully understand that the long hair I grew back over three Cockdowns will not be to everybody's taste [which is one of the reasons why it's getting a trim before Swingathon, the heat being another]

In short, some ten years on from joining Fab, I have come to the conclusion that much as with most things in life- politics, computers, musical tastes, football - there ARE no constants only variables, nothing makes any form of linear sense, and you can't even remotely attempt to second guess it. Pandemic or no pandemic, human beings will always be fallible and ultimately a bit crap. However, that hasn't stopped me having immense ammounts of fun at most of the clubs I've attended for the last 25 years, and playing with some amazing people who also quite seemed to like me. I've just never met very many of them on here.

I suppose the more pertinent question, therefore, is when those clubs will open up again, and under what if any restrictions. Only time, and the machinations of politicians and businessmen, will tell..."

We get this a lot, people who message us because they match our likes perfectly.

Attraction is a two way street. Just because you fancy me, doesn't mean I'll fancy you. I don't know why some people don't understand or appreciate this.

No matter how well constructed their message is, if they're not attractive to us, no amount of "I match your profile perfectly will compensate for the the fact that we just don't fancy them.

Thinking it will is misguided at best.

E

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

I think it's worth stepping back a little, to give yourself some chance of reducing the stress from this. You're busy and others will be too, so I'd soften the focus on expecting a reply within 24 hours of messages read, etc. People are all different and take varying amounts of time to evaluate and plan what they want - especially if they're not single. I suggest pausing from looking at your sent messages, giving others more time.

If you feel that you are needing something that is a more refined taste, you could probably rightly expect that the volume of others who match will have been reduced down from the higher levels of people here.

Due to the pandemic, many people have been waiting a year or more to meet with old friends, so newer contacts can be at the back of the queue and lower priority.

It's not for others to tell anyone how to live but my concern is that this is possibly too big a source of consternation for you Op, which isn't good for stress levels. If you can find a way to destress it, it could be helpful, whilst not giving up. Over all the separate aspects of our life here, we have greater control over our expectations than many of the other aspects. It might be helpful to evaluate what your expectations are and to rethink them somewhat.

Take care

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


"Well I can't speak for the OP as I've never seen their profile- although obviously, I guess that most couples and single women on this site must be literally inundated with requests, for such is the strata of our society. And with time being limited, they can't always reply to, read or consider all of them individually. They would LITERALLY, not even figuratively, be there all day.

What I understand less, perhaps, is why when you see someone flagged on your local updates that meets your preferences, seems to be into almost all the same things as you, professes to be looking for fuckbuddies that are roughly the same height and build as you and even has a PARTNER that looks quite like you, they still delete your polite and articulately-written message without replying. That DOES seem quite nonsensical, especially when a day or so later they're still practically begging for a hookup from 'anyone available' on their status update- although I also fully understand that the long hair I grew back over three Cockdowns will not be to everybody's taste [which is one of the reasons why it's getting a trim before Swingathon, the heat being another]

In short, some ten years on from joining Fab, I have come to the conclusion that much as with most things in life- politics, computers, musical tastes, football - there ARE no constants only variables, nothing makes any form of linear sense, and you can't even remotely attempt to second guess it. Pandemic or no pandemic, human beings will always be fallible and ultimately a bit crap. However, that hasn't stopped me having immense ammounts of fun at most of the clubs I've attended for the last 25 years, and playing with some amazing people who also quite seemed to like me. I've just never met very many of them on here.

I suppose the more pertinent question, therefore, is when those clubs will open up again, and under what if any restrictions. Only time, and the machinations of politicians and businessmen, will tell...

We get this a lot, people who message us because they match our likes perfectly.

Attraction is a two way street. Just because you fancy me, doesn't mean I'll fancy you. I don't know why some people don't understand or appreciate this.

No matter how well constructed their message is, if they're not attractive to us, no amount of "I match your profile perfectly will compensate for the the fact that we just don't fancy them.

Thinking it will is misguided at best.

E"

Okay I understand that I’m not on about those people, plus I even ask if I am someone’s type if they say no I move on

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


"I think it's worth stepping back a little, to give yourself some chance of reducing the stress from this. You're busy and others will be too, so I'd soften the focus on expecting a reply within 24 hours of messages read, etc. People are all different and take varying amounts of time to evaluate and plan what they want - especially if they're not single. I suggest pausing from looking at your sent messages, giving others more time.

If you feel that you are needing something that is a more refined taste, you could probably rightly expect that the volume of others who match will have been reduced down from the higher levels of people here.

Due to the pandemic, many people have been waiting a year or more to meet with old friends, so newer contacts can be at the back of the queue and lower priority.

It's not for others to tell anyone how to live but my concern is that this is possibly too big a source of consternation for you Op, which isn't good for stress levels. If you can find a way to destress it, it could be helpful, whilst not giving up. Over all the separate aspects of our life here, we have greater control over our expectations than many of the other aspects. It might be helpful to evaluate what your expectations are and to rethink them somewhat.

Take care "

Thanks for your advice and most of the messages I have sent have been seen and read honestly I have decided not to care and just go to swingers clubs (and if one of the couples that have read every single message I will not be talking to in real life)

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By *immyleaMan  over a year ago

Derby


"Well I can't speak for the OP as I've never seen their profile- although obviously, I guess that most couples and single women on this site must be literally inundated with requests, for such is the strata of our society. And with time being limited, they can't always reply to, read or consider all of them individually. They would LITERALLY, not even figuratively, be there all day.

What I understand less, perhaps, is why when you see someone flagged on your local updates that meets your preferences, seems to be into almost all the same things as you, professes to be looking for fuckbuddies that are roughly the same height and build as you and even has a PARTNER that looks quite like you, they still delete your polite and articulately-written message without replying. That DOES seem quite nonsensical, especially when a day or so later they're still practically begging for a hookup from 'anyone available' on their status update- although I also fully understand that the long hair I grew back over three Cockdowns will not be to everybody's taste [which is one of the reasons why it's getting a trim before Swingathon, the heat being another]

In short, some ten years on from joining Fab, I have come to the conclusion that much as with most things in life- politics, computers, musical tastes, football - there ARE no constants only variables, nothing makes any form of linear sense, and you can't even remotely attempt to second guess it. Pandemic or no pandemic, human beings will always be fallible and ultimately a bit crap. However, that hasn't stopped me having immense ammounts of fun at most of the clubs I've attended for the last 25 years, and playing with some amazing people who also quite seemed to like me. I've just never met very many of them on here.

I suppose the more pertinent question, therefore, is when those clubs will open up again, and under what if any restrictions. Only time, and the machinations of politicians and businessmen, will tell...

We get this a lot, people who message us because they match our likes perfectly.

Attraction is a two way street. Just because you fancy me, doesn't mean I'll fancy you. I don't know why some people don't understand or appreciate this.

No matter how well constructed their message is, if they're not attractive to us, no amount of "I match your profile perfectly will compensate for the the fact that we just don't fancy them.

Thinking it will is misguided at best.

E"

It does come across as a little bizarre, however, when - as I said above - you see a picture of their regular partner and they look almost exactly like you. As has happened a couple of times. I can't speak for anybody else, but it makes me think that maybe they don't really fancy THEM either. But that's a conversation for them to have between one another. In a way, I'm glad I don't have to be involved.

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By *sm265Woman  over a year ago

Shangri-la


"Well I can't speak for the OP as I've never seen their profile- although obviously, I guess that most couples and single women on this site must be literally inundated with requests, for such is the strata of our society. And with time being limited, they can't always reply to, read or consider all of them individually. They would LITERALLY, not even figuratively, be there all day.

What I understand less, perhaps, is why when you see someone flagged on your local updates that meets your preferences, seems to be into almost all the same things as you, professes to be looking for fuckbuddies that are roughly the same height and build as you and even has a PARTNER that looks quite like you, they still delete your polite and articulately-written message without replying. That DOES seem quite nonsensical, especially when a day or so later they're still practically begging for a hookup from 'anyone available' on their status update- although I also fully understand that the long hair I grew back over three Cockdowns will not be to everybody's taste [which is one of the reasons why it's getting a trim before Swingathon, the heat being another]

In short, some ten years on from joining Fab, I have come to the conclusion that much as with most things in life- politics, computers, musical tastes, football - there ARE no constants only variables, nothing makes any form of linear sense, and you can't even remotely attempt to second guess it. Pandemic or no pandemic, human beings will always be fallible and ultimately a bit crap. However, that hasn't stopped me having immense ammounts of fun at most of the clubs I've attended for the last 25 years, and playing with some amazing people who also quite seemed to like me. I've just never met very many of them on here.

I suppose the more pertinent question, therefore, is when those clubs will open up again, and under what if any restrictions. Only time, and the machinations of politicians and businessmen, will tell...

We get this a lot, people who message us because they match our likes perfectly.

Attraction is a two way street. Just because you fancy me, doesn't mean I'll fancy you. I don't know why some people don't understand or appreciate this.

No matter how well constructed their message is, if they're not attractive to us, no amount of "I match your profile perfectly will compensate for the the fact that we just don't fancy them.

Thinking it will is misguided at best.

E

It does come across as a little bizarre, however, when - as I said above - you see a picture of their regular partner and they look almost exactly like you. As has happened a couple of times. I can't speak for anybody else, but it makes me think that maybe they don't really fancy THEM either. But that's a conversation for them to have between one another. In a way, I'm glad I don't have to be involved."

Maybe they want to find someone who is different to their regular partner rather than a clone?

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman  over a year ago

Thurrock


"Well I can't speak for the OP as I've never seen their profile- although obviously, I guess that most couples and single women on this site must be literally inundated with requests, for such is the strata of our society. And with time being limited, they can't always reply to, read or consider all of them individually. They would LITERALLY, not even figuratively, be there all day.

What I understand less, perhaps, is why when you see someone flagged on your local updates that meets your preferences, seems to be into almost all the same things as you, professes to be looking for fuckbuddies that are roughly the same height and build as you and even has a PARTNER that looks quite like you, they still delete your polite and articulately-written message without replying. That DOES seem quite nonsensical, especially when a day or so later they're still practically begging for a hookup from 'anyone available' on their status update- although I also fully understand that the long hair I grew back over three Cockdowns will not be to everybody's taste [which is one of the reasons why it's getting a trim before Swingathon, the heat being another]

In short, some ten years on from joining Fab, I have come to the conclusion that much as with most things in life- politics, computers, musical tastes, football - there ARE no constants only variables, nothing makes any form of linear sense, and you can't even remotely attempt to second guess it. Pandemic or no pandemic, human beings will always be fallible and ultimately a bit crap. However, that hasn't stopped me having immense ammounts of fun at most of the clubs I've attended for the last 25 years, and playing with some amazing people who also quite seemed to like me. I've just never met very many of them on here.

I suppose the more pertinent question, therefore, is when those clubs will open up again, and under what if any restrictions. Only time, and the machinations of politicians and businessmen, will tell...

We get this a lot, people who message us because they match our likes perfectly.

Attraction is a two way street. Just because you fancy me, doesn't mean I'll fancy you. I don't know why some people don't understand or appreciate this.

No matter how well constructed their message is, if they're not attractive to us, no amount of "I match your profile perfectly will compensate for the the fact that we just don't fancy them.

Thinking it will is misguided at best.

E

It does come across as a little bizarre, however, when - as I said above - you see a picture of their regular partner and they look almost exactly like you. As has happened a couple of times. I can't speak for anybody else, but it makes me think that maybe they don't really fancy THEM either. But that's a conversation for them to have between one another. In a way, I'm glad I don't have to be involved."

I personally wouldn't want to meet someone similar to my husband as I come here for something different, it's like my husband has tattoos & a shaved head, but I prefer guys without tattoos & I love guys with long hair

doesn't mean I don't fancy him but when I'm given a choice of guys here, I'm likely to go for the guys without tattoos & long curly hair

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By *immyleaMan  over a year ago

Derby


"Well I can't speak for the OP as I've never seen their profile- although obviously, I guess that most couples and single women on this site must be literally inundated with requests, for such is the strata of our society. And with time being limited, they can't always reply to, read or consider all of them individually. They would LITERALLY, not even figuratively, be there all day.

What I understand less, perhaps, is why when you see someone flagged on your local updates that meets your preferences, seems to be into almost all the same things as you, professes to be looking for fuckbuddies that are roughly the same height and build as you and even has a PARTNER that looks quite like you, they still delete your polite and articulately-written message without replying. That DOES seem quite nonsensical, especially when a day or so later they're still practically begging for a hookup from 'anyone available' on their status update- although I also fully understand that the long hair I grew back over three Cockdowns will not be to everybody's taste [which is one of the reasons why it's getting a trim before Swingathon, the heat being another]

In short, some ten years on from joining Fab, I have come to the conclusion that much as with most things in life- politics, computers, musical tastes, football - there ARE no constants only variables, nothing makes any form of linear sense, and you can't even remotely attempt to second guess it. Pandemic or no pandemic, human beings will always be fallible and ultimately a bit crap. However, that hasn't stopped me having immense ammounts of fun at most of the clubs I've attended for the last 25 years, and playing with some amazing people who also quite seemed to like me. I've just never met very many of them on here.

I suppose the more pertinent question, therefore, is when those clubs will open up again, and under what if any restrictions. Only time, and the machinations of politicians and businessmen, will tell...

We get this a lot, people who message us because they match our likes perfectly.

Attraction is a two way street. Just because you fancy me, doesn't mean I'll fancy you. I don't know why some people don't understand or appreciate this.

No matter how well constructed their message is, if they're not attractive to us, no amount of "I match your profile perfectly will compensate for the the fact that we just don't fancy them.

Thinking it will is misguided at best.

E

It does come across as a little bizarre, however, when - as I said above - you see a picture of their regular partner and they look almost exactly like you. As has happened a couple of times. I can't speak for anybody else, but it makes me think that maybe they don't really fancy THEM either. But that's a conversation for them to have between one another. In a way, I'm glad I don't have to be involved.

Maybe they want to find someone who is different to their regular partner rather than a clone? "

Possibly, but on the whole most people have a 'type' they like and a type they don't. And when I say I look exactly like someone else or vice versa, that doesn't mean either is a 'clone' as such, merely that they're strikingly similar in appearance, aesthetic and mannerism. For what it's worth, I don't think I've ever been a precise carbon copy of anyone's partner down to every last detail; if I was I'd REALLY be worried. Though if I knew how to make one of Jan Francis circa 'Just Good Friends', I'd be in business...

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By *immyleaMan  over a year ago

Derby

Also, to expand further on what someone else said earlier- I don't think ANYONE is daft enough to think that just because they fancy someone, that person will fancy them back. Well, again, OK, I can't speak for others. But I know for a fact that I don't think that.

I mean, if it worked that way, everyone would be dating/shagging their dream partner at the click of a finger, and there would be no need for sites such as Tinder etc; perhaps even sites like this would become redundant eventually, as more people would openly broach the subjects of polygamy and polyamoury. But clearly, that isn't how it works in 2021, if it ever did [which I doubt] For which matter, I don't think that sharing the same interests and sexual proclivities as someone else is a guarantee that you'll hit it off either; you might meet and decide you hate one another, for one thing. Or the other person could be a loony. Ultimately, anything's possible.

But at the same time, our tastes must mean SOMETHING, otherwise we wouldn't list them at all. After all, if the crux of the whole thing was all down to whether or not someone fancied someone else based on their looks and nothing else, REGARDLESS of what they had in common, then sites like this would soon be replaced with ones where you just put up two photos- one fully clothed and none either nude or scantily dressed - and said 'this is me, if you like click yes, if you don't click no' And that would be it.

But the point is, we list our likes and dislikes in the hope that we'll find someone of a similar inclination [or should that be 'kinklination'] And it's those characteristics, together with one's COSMETIC appearance, which are supposed to form a full package. It's just that these days, I tend to find that 'one or the other', rather than both, has become the norm- and that can be dissapointing.

Admittedly, I have no idea whatsoever why this might be the case; my only theory, as I posited earlier, is that there IS no logic, and it really is just completely random. Which would explain, I suppose, why the most successful play I've ever enjoyed has been with randomly-met people; organisation, as ever, is the enemy of spontanaiety. Not, it should be stressed, that I spend an awful lot of time sitting and thinking about it; this last year in particular has given us all far bigger fish to fry, and even pre-pandemic I had other more pressing issues to deal with. But the OP did start this as the 'vent' thread, so I vented. As my fellow East Midlander Graham Chapman once said- it's nice to get it out in the open occasionally. And now I have.

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By *immyleaMan  over a year ago

Derby

I apologise, by the way, for the substantial amount of typos within the above post; it was late at night, I was EXTREMELY tired after having spent the best part of a week decorating and cleaning a house, and both my eyesight AND my computer keyboatd are shit. Just so you know...

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By * Plus ECouple  over a year ago

The South


"Well I can't speak for the OP as I've never seen their profile- although obviously, I guess that most couples and single women on this site must be literally inundated with requests, for such is the strata of our society. And with time being limited, they can't always reply to, read or consider all of them individually. They would LITERALLY, not even figuratively, be there all day.

What I understand less, perhaps, is why when you see someone flagged on your local updates that meets your preferences, seems to be into almost all the same things as you, professes to be looking for fuckbuddies that are roughly the same height and build as you and even has a PARTNER that looks quite like you, they still delete your polite and articulately-written message without replying. That DOES seem quite nonsensical, especially when a day or so later they're still practically begging for a hookup from 'anyone available' on their status update- although I also fully understand that the long hair I grew back over three Cockdowns will not be to everybody's taste [which is one of the reasons why it's getting a trim before Swingathon, the heat being another]

In short, some ten years on from joining Fab, I have come to the conclusion that much as with most things in life- politics, computers, musical tastes, football - there ARE no constants only variables, nothing makes any form of linear sense, and you can't even remotely attempt to second guess it. Pandemic or no pandemic, human beings will always be fallible and ultimately a bit crap. However, that hasn't stopped me having immense ammounts of fun at most of the clubs I've attended for the last 25 years, and playing with some amazing people who also quite seemed to like me. I've just never met very many of them on here.

I suppose the more pertinent question, therefore, is when those clubs will open up again, and under what if any restrictions. Only time, and the machinations of politicians and businessmen, will tell...

We get this a lot, people who message us because they match our likes perfectly.

Attraction is a two way street. Just because you fancy me, doesn't mean I'll fancy you. I don't know why some people don't understand or appreciate this.

No matter how well constructed their message is, if they're not attractive to us, no amount of "I match your profile perfectly will compensate for the the fact that we just don't fancy them.

Thinking it will is misguided at best.

E

It does come across as a little bizarre, however, when - as I said above - you see a picture of their regular partner and they look almost exactly like you. As has happened a couple of times. I can't speak for anybody else, but it makes me think that maybe they don't really fancy THEM either. But that's a conversation for them to have between one another. In a way, I'm glad I don't have to be involved."

It's not bizarre at all.

You seem to be focussed on " the bloke she fucks looks just like me, so clearly she'll fuck me too"

There's a chap at a club we visited pre Covid, same build as M, very similar look to M, even down to their "hairstyle"

People often jokingly ask if they're brothers.

He's a very nice chap and we get on really well. Despite how similar they ate, he doesn't have M's personality.

I won't be fucking him.

E

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By *immyleaMan  over a year ago

Derby

[Removed by poster at 20/06/21 15:42:55]

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By *immyleaMan  over a year ago

Derby

That may well be very true. However, you only know that because you met them. I don't think you can tell someone's personality from a Fab profile in the same way; online, you tend to judge by appearance [as you yourself said] first, and [hopefully] interests next. Then later on, you meet that person [if both parties choose so to do] to see if you hit it off and get along.

It's vastly different from spontaneously meeting someone by chance in a club situation, and realising you like one another there and then- which I've tended to find has always worked better for me when finding play partners. And not just me; for many people, acting in the 'moment' generally gives me a better picture of what another person is like, and for that matter whether one desires them. Moreover, it seems a far more reliable gauge than a potentially unflattering [or, conversely, too flattering and thus unrealistic] photograph and a list of written criteria, and is far more fun.

Obviously many disagree, and operate in other ways entirely - and that's their choice too. But the older I get, the more I'm becoming of the mind that sex is possibly THE one arena in life where too much forward planning can be a bad thing, and that to go with the flow is preferable. Sure, I can equally easily understand the idea of 'the other', ie someone that isn't like one's regular partner, being appealing - but I can't imagine anyone ever stretching this preference to the point of sheer anathema.

I mean, nobody, even the most broad minded player, is going to choose someone THAT far outside their usual frame of reference or comfort zone; as I said, most people do have strict types and always will, even if only subconsciously. And most are very consistent about that. It's just the occasional randomness that perplexes me. But then again, I have OCD and I like/prefer things to be linear. Maybe this is why I've never understand either rugby or trigonometry; too many angles.

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By *oxy babeWoman  over a year ago

gower

I’ve had a look at your profile, the things I’ve noticed are that you stated you have no tattoos but your photos show you have lots (very nice ink too )

Your photos are very similar and the ones with you posing with your middle fingers in them give an aggressive “fuck you” type of attitude which can be off putting, this may be where you are going wrong, maybe do a few different angles with your ass, in lingerie etc and people may be more responsive.

Good luck in your search for future meets and playmates

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By *nlyfun3Woman  over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

Looks like u blocked me too

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


"Looks like u blocked me too"

Are you bi???

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By *nlyfun3Woman  over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

Why?

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By *indurFunkyBusinessWoman  over a year ago

East Anglia

Your profile is very confusing. No tattoos or piercings stated but both can be seen in photos.

You mention a balaclava because of your job but your face is shown.

The last part re couples, women etc just adds to the confusion.

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By *irty desireWoman  over a year ago

newcatle

Eee honestly lass if it gets you that pissed off a would leave! Nothing is worth this amount of grief

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By *.W CPLCouple  over a year ago

PRESTON

Wow your profile comes off as very aggressive giving the finger in pictures and a video of your naked rantings about fab think your looking in the wrong place for what you want

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


"Why?"

Just wondering because I wouldn’t block someone for no reason

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


"Your profile is very confusing. No tattoos or piercings stated but both can be seen in photos.

You mention a balaclava because of your job but your face is shown.

The last part re couples, women etc just adds to the confusion. "

Okay okay I understand what you are saying but when I had my balaclava on in my pictures everyone on the forums said that the balaclava is intimidating so that’s why now I’m showing all my pictures and the other reason why I’m showing all my pictures is because most of the people on here keep asking for more pictures

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


"Wow your profile comes off as very aggressive giving the finger in pictures and a video of your naked rantings about fab think your looking in the wrong place for what you want"

Ok

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By *indurFunkyBusinessWoman  over a year ago

East Anglia


"Your profile is very confusing. No tattoos or piercings stated but both can be seen in photos.

You mention a balaclava because of your job but your face is shown.

The last part re couples, women etc just adds to the confusion.

Okay okay I understand what you are saying but when I had my balaclava on in my pictures everyone on the forums said that the balaclava is intimidating so that’s why now I’m showing all my pictures and the other reason why I’m showing all my pictures is because most of the people on here keep asking for more pictures "

Then update your text so its relevant and accurate.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Tbh your profile, and this thread, portray you as aggressive and high maintenance. I'd suggest toning it down, keeping it simple and upbeat and show a bit of your lighthearted side. Guys and couples here want to have fun and avoid drama.

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


"Tbh your profile, and this thread, portray you as aggressive and high maintenance. I'd suggest toning it down, keeping it simple and upbeat and show a bit of your lighthearted side. Guys and couples here want to have fun and avoid drama. "

I know that that’s what I’m trying to do plus I’m trying not to bring drama on fab

Honestly at this moment in time I’m taking a break I’m not even pissed anymore I’m over everything the couples that ghosted me their loss my profile is whatever I’m just doing my own thing from now on. And one thing that I have noticed is that the couples that have ghosted me don’t seem to comment on the forums about me I’m not trying to cause anything I’m just pointing something out. Literally my last post was asking about clubs and stuff and then some comment to bring it all back up

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By *irty desireWoman  over a year ago

newcatle


"Tbh your profile, and this thread, portray you as aggressive and high maintenance. I'd suggest toning it down, keeping it simple and upbeat and show a bit of your lighthearted side. Guys and couples here want to have fun and avoid drama.

I know that that’s what I’m trying to do plus I’m trying not to bring drama on fab

Honestly at this moment in time I’m taking a break I’m not even pissed anymore I’m over everything the couples that ghosted me their loss my profile is whatever I’m just doing my own thing from now on. And one thing that I have noticed is that the couples that have ghosted me don’t seem to comment on the forums about me I’m not trying to cause anything I’m just pointing something out. Literally my last post was asking about clubs and stuff and then some comment to bring it all back up "

It’s against the forum rules to name snd shame hence why the couples you have contacted haven’t commented.

Too much drama as despite what anyone has said or advised you to do you have a immature aggressive comment!!

Seams to me your looking for an argument!!

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


"Tbh your profile, and this thread, portray you as aggressive and high maintenance. I'd suggest toning it down, keeping it simple and upbeat and show a bit of your lighthearted side. Guys and couples here want to have fun and avoid drama.

I know that that’s what I’m trying to do plus I’m trying not to bring drama on fab

Honestly at this moment in time I’m taking a break I’m not even pissed anymore I’m over everything the couples that ghosted me their loss my profile is whatever I’m just doing my own thing from now on. And one thing that I have noticed is that the couples that have ghosted me don’t seem to comment on the forums about me I’m not trying to cause anything I’m just pointing something out. Literally my last post was asking about clubs and stuff and then some comment to bring it all back up

It’s against the forum rules to name snd shame hence why the couples you have contacted haven’t commented.

Too much drama as despite what anyone has said or advised you to do you have a immature aggressive comment!!

Seams to me your looking for an argument!! "

I’m not, and honestly I haven’t named anyone and I’m not planning to, and my last comment was replying back to everyone, I’m not arguing or trying to be a pain in the ass.

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By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman  over a year ago

no


"Tbh your profile, and this thread, portray you as aggressive and high maintenance. I'd suggest toning it down, keeping it simple and upbeat and show a bit of your lighthearted side. Guys and couples here want to have fun and avoid drama.

I know that that’s what I’m trying to do plus I’m trying not to bring drama on fab

Honestly at this moment in time I’m taking a break I’m not even pissed anymore I’m over everything the couples that ghosted me their loss my profile is whatever I’m just doing my own thing from now on. And one thing that I have noticed is that the couples that have ghosted me don’t seem to comment on the forums about me I’m not trying to cause anything I’m just pointing something out. Literally my last post was asking about clubs and stuff and then some comment to bring it all back up

It’s against the forum rules to name snd shame hence why the couples you have contacted haven’t commented.

Too much drama as despite what anyone has said or advised you to do you have a immature aggressive comment!!

Seams to me your looking for an argument!!

I’m not, and honestly I haven’t named anyone and I’m not planning to, and my last comment was replying back to everyone, I’m not arguing or trying to be a pain in the ass. "

I have listened to the forums advice and taken it in, as I said in my last post I’m taking a back seat for a while and the only time I’m meeting is in clubs and stuff, I am greatful for all the feed back. I’m not replying to this forum anymore as I don’t need help

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By *nlyfun3Woman  over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts


"Why?

Just wondering because I wouldn’t block someone for no reason "

Would u block me because I'm straight?

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