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Your first couple swap....
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IMO Talk talk talk to each other and be secure in yourselves and your relationship before heading into full-swap. Perhaps dip a toe in with inviting a third or soft swing in a club. Try it, talk.
There is a nuance between jealousy and envy. Jealousy is a negative emotion often aligned with fear of loss. Envy can be very much reframed as a positive emotion aligned with empathy and longing.
If one is feeling the former, I would suggest that more work on the Individual and relationship is needed to strengthen the feelings of self esteem, worth and security in the relationship. We don’t play if we’re both not 100% in each other and the relationship. |
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Hi, there was no jealousy at all.
I loved watching my partner with another lady, whilst I was playing with her man.
We had a social first of all, then met at a hotel at a few days later,all was cool.
As said above keep communicating and set your boundaries and don't overstep them.
What is it that's holding you back?. |
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Hello. Please be aware that jealousy can surface even though replies on here may suggest otherwise. It’s best to know the truth. The fact you mention jealousy in your opening message suggests it could be a potential issue.
My first FFM with my ex, she moved to the back of us (the other girl) having sex because she didn’t like watching. We talked about it. Recognised that a little jealousy was fine and quite hot.
I’ve seen couples have furious arguments in swinging clubs and I was thrown out by a guy in the middle of fucking his girlfriend because he just flipped.
I’m sure you know all this but the reality always isn’t rosy, like most things in life. |
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By *ocusMan 11 weeks ago
Cambridge |
"There was no jealousy, we had built a friendship with the couple and it just felt natural at the time. Went for it and haven't looked back."
This is the approach me and my wife are hoping for; meet someone/a couple we click with and let things progress.
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By *rpeggioCouple 11 weeks ago
Baughurst |
We had no jealousy before, during or after. But we were both very very anxious because we did not know if at the moment of truth we would feel jealous. No one knows in advance the way we will react at that point and no matter how much you discuss in advance, it's impossible to know until you experience it.
It took one look in the eye to reach other to find out that we both were ok with the situation, and enjoying it, so communicate before, during and after. After is super important, be open and honest about you feelings and the experience you just had.
Don't be surprised if the full swap is not fireworks. We found it so incredibly horny and exciting, but the actual sex was not as good as we were fantasizing about. No one knows you better than your partner, so enjoy the exciting hot sex, but don't get expectations of out of this world sexual climaxing, it may not happen. |
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By *rpeggioCouple 11 weeks ago
Baughurst |
Oh. And because communication is important also during your first full swap, we do not recommend separate rooms. If you two feel jealousy watching each other, then separate rooms helps couples to deal with it. If you feel more secure with your partner in the same room, then stick to same room initially. |
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Set your boundaries and limits before hand and always double check with your partner that they want too when people offer to play with you at a venue or when at a private meet.
We have both experienced the scene as singles and found it is completely different as a couple. We are soft swap currently and I (Mrs) play with the females too as I adore women  our first time we were both nervous, we set boundaries and we informed the people we were playing with of them and they were respectful, we checked on each other during play time as well, odd kisses here and there and touches and kept smiling at each other and checking in. We also have a code word, if something happens or feel uncomfortable we use the code word and we stop play time and reconnect and chat.
Xx |
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We didn't have jealousy when swapping.... what I (Mrs) personally can get uneasy (maybe jealous?) paranoid/ worried about is if I think perhaps there's an ongoing connection or the beginnings of an emotional attachement.
I'm fully aware that this is emotional trauma left over from a previous relationship and so try to be present in this relationship.
We're human beings at the end of the day ... emotions happen when you least expect it!
As others have said.... just chat about it
Good luck
K |
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We had our first last night- will post the story later - which was unexpected and spontaneous with my best friend and her husband.
It was wild. I thought I would be very jealous of seeing him with another woman, and vice versa him seeing me with another guy, but it wasn't awkward at all. It was hot, horny and my friend and I switched back and forth between the guys.
Her husband is incredibly well endowed so I did struggle to take him at first and I think male pride maybe dented hubby's confidence for a minute, but we both very much enjoyed it, our friends did too.
This morning it's not been awkward or anything. Obviously I wasn't planning on seeing my hubby bareback my best friend last night but I don't feel jealous at all. He's also quite happy he's seen me with another man so for now, all's well that ends well!
Xoxox |
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We've only met single women so far & there's not been any jealousy so far however one meet I struggled with and stopped before anything sexual happened, I think if it had I'd have had issues with it, I can't even explain why.
So many will say there's no jealousy etc in swinging but it can be a totally natural reaction & it's how you deal with it that counts, talk, talk and talk some more - make sure you are both comfortable, set your boundaries and stick to them.
Mrs |
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To be honest, it was weird. But not because there was any issue between us or any jealousy.
It was weird because the couple we met were a bit odd and really weren't the right couple for a pair of newbies.
Social at theirs and after half hour or so they basically said "we are going upstairs to fuck, you can join us, or head home, up to you!".
So we went up in a rather startled state.
Was all a bit awkward, including the bloke 'refusing' to cum as he had another meet the following day and wanted to save himself for that...
They aren't on the site anymore, but we certainly wouldn't be seeking them out anyway.
Felt super special! Haha
Thankfully had some much better meets since! |
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I'm going to be honest, I was all up for it, before during and after, but on our first I got SO nervous I couldn't get hard for about 20 minutes and ended up sucking him (never considered being bi at that point), until he came in my mouth, which WASN'T part of the plans but then ended up with future bi meets, so yeah worked out well haha.
Mr |
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No jealousy on our side as we play same room and enjoy watching each other and being involved with all. Also, we'd discussed extensively before we took the plunge, so we knew, or at least had a very good idea, on how we'd feel. |
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"It was spontaneous and in a club. A good experience for us we'd say. We've certainly not been put off doing it again since."
Same for us...although we more recently had our first private meet and apart from nerves it was amazing.
I adore watching Mr with another lady and he loves watching me with ladies or guys. All together is my preference though.
Xx |
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We both experimented with things when we were much younger, and we discussed a 3 sum with another guy, and at that point she said she wouldn’t consider sex with another women or watching me have sex with another women.
We soon got into 3 sums and found a couple of willing people. Probably a year or two after we got friendly with a couple who lived out of town in the country, and they invited us to a Xmas house party. The weeks leading up to the party it become clear sex was on the agenda, and the hosts were honest and said they would understand if we didn’t want to come along, or we could just sit it out or do our own thing, watch etc. The days leading up to the party our emotions were up and down, but also excited. That day my mrs ( then gf) called me at work several times, yes we will go, and then no I’m not going. At about teatime she called me and said pick me up at 7pm and we can then drive out to where this couple lived. On arrival everything was relaxed we were probably the youngest in attendance. Any way we did sit to one side and watched the activity as it developed around us, one or two couples left the main room and the ones left just enjoyed them selves. A older guy called Gerry came over to us and asked my GF if she would like a hand to remove her blouse, she just smiled and said please - that was our first ever night of soft swinging. |
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"We both experimented with things when we were much younger, and we discussed a 3 sum with another guy, and at that point she said she wouldn’t consider sex with another women or watching me have sex with another women.
We soon got into 3 sums and found a couple of willing people. Probably a year or two after we got friendly with a couple who lived out of town in the country, and they invited us to a Xmas house party. The weeks leading up to the party it become clear sex was on the agenda, and the hosts were honest and said they would understand if we didn’t want to come along, or we could just sit it out or do our own thing, watch etc. The days leading up to the party our emotions were up and down, but also excited. That day my mrs ( then gf) called me at work several times, yes we will go, and then no I’m not going. At about teatime she called me and said pick me up at 7pm and we can then drive out to where this couple lived. On arrival everything was relaxed we were probably the youngest in attendance. Any way we did sit to one side and watched the activity as it developed around us, one or two couples left the main room and the ones left just enjoyed them selves. A older guy called Gerry came over to us and asked my GF if she would like a hand to remove her blouse, she just smiled and said please - that was our first ever night of soft swinging. "
That was a great read! I loved it |
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We actually met as 2 singles on fab and are now married
We knew what we liked , our limits
So there was never any jealousy when we got ourselves a couples profile
We took small steps and when the first full swap meet happened, it was all good
We've always said that if there's any drama , awkwardness or jealousy , then that's the end of our fab journey |
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We met a couple who were already friends of Storms from parties they had all attended. So made it somewhat easier, as we had a good idea that it would work between the 4 of us
It was a brilliant night, and we've seen them several times since.
It really is about communication. Discuss likes / limits and don't feel.there is any obligation to do anything you aren't comfortable with. |
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"How was your first time. We are yet to do it but interested in the idea.
What was the jealousy like ? How did you cope?
Any advice is really appreciated "
It went quite well after a wee social even though we didn't have full penetration with the other couple. No fears or jealousies at all as we're solid as a rock, totally open and honest with each other and discussed all possible issues and how we'd deal with them... We have met other couples though with serious jealousy and security issues !! |
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There was no jealousy or anything for us.
We did it, we unpacked and spoke about it over afew days as we processed it.
Decided its not really for us and would only ever be an occasional thing. So exactly what we thought before we tried it out. |
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Ours was wonderful. It was a long time coming, as will be our next time together. No jealousy at all. Just lots of sexy intimacy with friends. We were at a place with a shower that could fit all of us. That was super sexy. |
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"How was your first time. We are yet to do it but interested in the idea.
What was the jealousy like ? How did you cope?
Any advice is really appreciated "
It was simply amazing. Both watching each other fucking their significant other turned us both on. No jealousy at all. We fucked for days after that meet as we were still on a high. |
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"How was your first time. We are yet to do it but interested in the idea.
What was the jealousy like ? How did you cope?
Any advice is really appreciated "
If in doubt dont.
Once its done, theres no going back.
If you are 100% sure, set boundaries beforehand so all invilved know whats ok and what isn't ok
We only meet together, no secrets no lies. |
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