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Couple - A first club visit.
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We have been looking at expanding our experience, and been planning our first club visit. Having read a lot of the club reviews we are a little overwhelmed at what to expect.
We are in the South West, happy to travel within reason.
Looking for suggestions, advise, maybe a couple to chat with, and maybe even an invite . |
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Expect nothing.
It's just a night out, like any other night out at any vanilla club. The only difference is there are people interested in the same lifestyle choice that you've made, some people or all will be in less clothing (depending on if you go to a club that's mandatory dress down or not), and some people might be playing somewhere you can see.
That's it. Just drinks and a night out. Anything else is just a potential bonus x |
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By *dwalu2Couple 5 weeks ago
Bristol |
"Expect nothing.
It's just a night out, like any other night out at any vanilla club. The only difference is there are people interested in the same lifestyle choice that you've made, some people or all will be in less clothing (depending on if you go to a club that's mandatory dress down or not), and some people might be playing somewhere you can see.
That's it. Just drinks and a night out. Anything else is just a potential bonus x"
Yes, exactly this. We’ve been to several clubs and not played with anyone, but had a great night out and met lovely people nonetheless. |
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"We have been looking at expanding our experience, and been planning our first club visit. Having read a lot of the club reviews we are a little overwhelmed at what to expect.
We are in the South West, happy to travel within reason.
Looking for suggestions, advise, maybe a couple to chat with, and maybe even an invite ."
I'd say go to a club with no expectations, or very modest ones. You just have to remember that it's up to you what you want to do there, whether that's meeting someone and having a play, or just socialising and making connections. In fact, I think the biggest joy I get out of attending a club (or party) is from the social aspect — playing with someone is purely a bonus for me.
Don't get me wrong, I still get nervous going to clubs, even ones I've been to numerous times, but that's usually gone once I've started chatting and mingling.
You'll also learn that each night at a club can be different to the last, so I always recommend trying different clubs and different nights depending on what you're looking for. For any new clubs, you should be given a tour by the staff or regulars — they usually help you to understand the ins and outs of the venue, plus their rules and etiquette.
Nonetheless, I hope your first visit to a club is an enlightening one!  |
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As so many have said already, don't go in with any expectations that you will play with anyone else. Often we have gone to clubs, and have just played as a couple as we haven't clicked with anyone there. These have been fun evenings in their own right as we love the exhibitionist side and also the voyeuristic side of seeing others around us looking and acting sexy.
If you do meet someone who piques your interest, go and say hello. This is easier said than done as it takes cahoonas to do that, and we still don't always manage to pluck up the courage to do it. But even if they are not interested, for whatever reason, then it is still a rush to ask/be asked.
Additionally set boundaries before you go for what you want to and don't want to do, and importantly don't drink too much as that can lead to bad decisions.
Most importantly, have fun x |
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Yes to all of the comments above.
Also do remember clubs generally fall into two basic categories. Dress up and dress down. Dress up is more like going to any vanilla type club and dress down the ladies wear sexy/lingerie etc and the guys wear boxers. Most dress down clubs do provide towels if they have a hot tub/wet area etc and some people just walk round in those.
The gist is decide which you think you might prefer. We actually don't mind either as they both offer different types of experiences. But it might be something you want to consider. |
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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
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Looking for suggestions, advise, maybe a couple to chat with, and maybe even an invite ."
We did a lot of research and waited for a specific club night that suited our needs and taste and it was so so worth waiting
There was a group chat online the week before which meant you got to know a few faces and played some silly games and posted naughty pics and it meant that you could go say hi and recognize other couples and it made it SO much more chill.
I don't know if other clubs do that, I never went back but we are now fucking the event organisers privately so  who knows what could come of your night haha  |
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You won’t vibe with every club. We’ve been to three so far. Two we loved and the other we’d likely never return to. Be prepared to try a few.
We also found that we prefer couples nights or nights with very limited single guys so make sure the event is right for you  |
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When me and the Mrs went to a club for the first time, we went mid week so it would be quiet and not have so many people in.
We like the pool & sauna etc so got our moneys worth in the wet areas, chatting with people & having a laugh
We did have a play together in the swing & was having a good laugh together, but sadly it was midnight before we knew it and closing time.
Enjoy whatever club you go to and simply have a cracking night out, who knows you might a friend.
On that point
Some couples are looking for an extra to join them, some to swap etc, don't be shy at letting people know what your looking for.
Anyway been to a few clubs now & always had a great night.
Good Luck  |
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By *CLM87Woman 5 weeks ago
Derbyshire |
I went for the first time ever to a sex club and by myself.
My mindset was if something happens, it does and if it doesn't so be it.
Had a couple of people interested but they weren't for me. Did however meet some awesome people and had one of the best nights out I've had... everyone was so welcoming and was refreshing to be able to be your authentic self and talk freely about sex and kink.
Most importantly enjoy yourselves and be ready to have your eyes opened |
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"Expect nothing.
It's just a night out, like any other night out at any vanilla club. The only difference is there are people interested in the same lifestyle choice that you've made, some people or all will be in less clothing (depending on if you go to a club that's mandatory dress down or not), and some people might be playing somewhere you can see.
That's it. Just drinks and a night out. Anything else is just a potential bonus x"
This is it in a nutshell.
We went on a quiet Sunday night for our first visit, didn't expect to have anything happen - and it didn't.
But we still had a fun time, and enjoyed being in an environment where there was no judgement on behaviour or kinks.
Talk beforehand, talk during and talk after so that you know you are both ok with what is going on.
And hopefully you have an amazing time |
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Thanks everyone for all the reassuring messages.
The point about just view it as a night out really helps put us at ease.
We approach everything with no expectations, so it's always a bonus when something does happen.
Thank you to those that have also sent us private messages, very helpful.
So now to select a club and plan a visit  |
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By *M70Couple 5 weeks ago
Fareham |
Some reassuring comments on here as we’ve been considering a club as organised socials seem to be to few and far between locally but we’re a bit daunted about what to wear / expect etc . Ideally we’d like a club with a relaxed bar atmosphere for a social and options to play if brave enough |
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"We have been looking at expanding our experience, and been planning our first club visit. Having read a lot of the club reviews we are a little overwhelmed at what to expect.
We are in the South West, happy to travel within reason.
Looking for suggestions, advise, maybe a couple to chat with, and maybe even an invite ."
Hi, we covered our anticipation of, and then our first ever club visits in episodes 4 & 5 of our podcast. They may feel relatable right now.
Also, just keep in mind that whether your first visit is fantastic or terrible, the next could be the exact opposite, so go along with no expectations but an open mind, and enjoy a night together for whatever it brings.. |
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Just mirroring what others have said. Just think of it as a liberated pub. Enjoy wearing something that makes you feel good. Few drinks if that’s something you choose to do. You don’t have to do anything, even if you just want to be social and look around.
Clubs are great. I prefer them to a vanilla night out! x |
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We have a slightly different dynamic than most being a cuckold couple but when we’ve visited clubs in the past we’ve found its best just to be honest with others there as to what you are looking for and don’t expect to play on every visit, so when you do it makes the experience even better ! |
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The only advice I would add, is to make sure that the club knows it's your first visit.
They usually ask anyway, but this will get you a tour of the club and advice on rules and etiquette.
We've been to lots of clubs over the years and very rarely had a bad night. Chat and socialise and stay in the social area all night if you want.
Most of all just enjoy yoyrself.
Nita |
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Some good advice here, from looking at your profile I'd go on a couples night on a hosted event night, tell the hosts it's your first ever club night and they should look after you. Some clubs do a newbies night which would be ideal. Liberty elites vanilla to vixen would be perfect but its a long way for you.
Lastly don't sit down and hide in the corner, try and mingle in the busier social areas and talk to people. Clubs aren't like pubs,
Most people like to chat and get to know total strangers ! |
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The only thing I'd like to add is after speaking to lots of newbies on their first night is they all use the words "it seems very clicky"
The fact is those so called clicks are only just friendly people chatting, & if you're brave enough to go up to them,introduce yourself & explain its your very first time, I can almost guarantee you'll be welcomed into this group with open arms, no one will pressure you into play as like you they all attend with no expectations 
I'd also advise keeping a lookout in the forum for a social only event close to you, these may be in a pub & sometimes in a club but are especially good for newbies as a precursor to taking the first steps into a club,as well as organising via fab a meet with a couple that can hold your hands on your first visit-hope it goes well for you x |
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As others have said... go when you're in a good head space, make sure you've talked it through honestly, go with no expectations other than to have a great night. Leave your inhibitions at the door, enjoy being in a sexy environment where you won't be judged and most importantly only do what feels right for you.
We love clubs, every night brings something new and we love talking about out nights afterwards..
Have fun |
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"As others have said... go when you're in a good head space, make sure you've talked it through honestly, go with no expectations other than to have a great night. Leave your inhibitions at the door, enjoy being in a sexy environment where you won't be judged and most importantly only do what feels right for you.
We love clubs, every night brings something new and we love talking about out nights afterwards..
Have fun "
This 100% |
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"You will love it! You also don’t “have” to do anything you don’t want!
We’ve been to a few, but chameleons is our favourite, great vibe, nice people and food "
couldn’t agree more it’s our favourite too |
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"You will love it! You also don’t “have” to do anything you don’t want!
We’ve been to a few, but chameleons is our favourite, great vibe, nice people and food couldn’t agree more it’s our favourite too "
And the cheesy chips are amazing! A great mid play snack |
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"You will love it! You also don’t “have” to do anything you don’t want!
We’ve been to a few, but chameleons is our favourite, great vibe, nice people and food couldn’t agree more it’s our favourite too
And the cheesy chips are amazing! A great mid play snack"
haha yes my wife also loves the cheesy chips Saturday will be our 4th Saturday attending in a row think we need to slow down a bit but we just love the people that attend so much we can’t stay away |
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"We decided on monogamy during wifeys pregnancy, but very much looking forward to returning, that will be our first club visit if you see us there feel free to say hi
Definitely, think we have seen you there before "
More than likely as we attend quite often we also have quite a few tattoos so we are quite noticeable lol |
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"As others have said... go when you're in a good head space, make sure you've talked it through honestly, go with no expectations other than to have a great night. Leave your inhibitions at the door, enjoy being in a sexy environment where you won't be judged and most importantly only do what feels right for you.
We love clubs, every night brings something new and we love talking about out nights afterwards..
Have fun
This 100% "
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"We have been looking at expanding our experience, and been planning our first club visit. Having read a lot of the club reviews we are a little overwhelmed at what to expect.
We are in the South West, happy to travel within reason.
Looking for suggestions, advise, maybe a couple to chat with, and maybe even an invite ."
I’m with you the club stuff terrifies me (not quite but…) Nothing to do with chatting etc. I’m quite charming. (Actually said this to my boss today!) All body stuff. Not toned enough or hung enough or not hard enough…blah blah blah. You get what I’m saying. At one level, I’m not sure any of this is real. I remember saying to a woman once that it was not all about her. Meaning we all have some kind of issue. My advice to myself and you is just get out and I bet you enjoy yourself!
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"We have been looking at expanding our experience, and been planning our first club visit. Having read a lot of the club reviews we are a little overwhelmed at what to expect.
We are in the South West, happy to travel within reason.
Looking for suggestions, advise, maybe a couple to chat with, and maybe even an invite ."
Just take it easy. Go with a beginner's mind. Be respectful and polite - you'll find people are respectful and will try their best to put you at ease. Our first club experience was lovely. |
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