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How to introduce the idea to the Mrs
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By *te0151 OP Man 11 weeks ago
Liverpool |
So posted few days back looking for advice on getting the Mrs interested. Just thought I'd update following last nights discussion... Big thanks to everyone for their advice who replied and messaged me directly
It went like this..Nothing on TV as per usual, knew C4 would have some sort of swingers program. Was actually looking for open house as Jess and Mike are hot. Long story comes across young swingers first and the blurb pulled me in, bit of a mistake not good watch. So I made a comment and said let's see what goes on with this... Worst program ever sat there in masks throughout, intimidating rather than sexy.
Starts talking about could you would you etc... and my head could have fell off. She said X her mate and her fella as into swinging and use a site called fan something! My heart went nuts. To the point I was shaking, she picked up on it about 5 mins later and asked why I was shaking! Need to be extra careful now as I am here without permission!
Discussion went ok, talked about a fantasy of mine I sometimes use to wank over a MMF/MMFF with hermshe didn't engage loads but said she's not sharing me, half said well if you want me sha.. then and didn't finish the sentence. Felt the convo didn't have any legs and she wasn't opening up. At this point I was steaming especially knowing her mates at it. Finished off with a naughty shag and give her something to think about for a bit! |
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"Your post makes me as a woman uncomfortable.
I 2nd that
what I can understand is very little so it just reads as you didn't ask the question, she said she doesn't want to and you got sex "
Oh and what's steaming?
Angry or d*unk? |
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For me I think your walking into trouble, yea bring it up to and she finds out your already on here, for me if it was brought up to me that way I would assume he had already been with people behind my back |
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By *te0151 OP Man 11 weeks ago
Liverpool |
Thanks for the feedback. I'm sorry it's made a couple of you uncomfortable, not intended. I haven't been able to articulate how it went but I feel it was positive as we discussed things after sex such as she feels that she's not good enough for me hence why I want someone else which is the complete opposite. Any ways seed planted and lets see if she germinates it!
I'm walking away from it with the vision of her face when I give it like Never before!
Have a good one |
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By *oney2Couple 11 weeks ago
Chester |
"Thanks for the feedback. I'm sorry it's made a couple of you uncomfortable, not intended. I haven't been able to articulate how it went but I feel it was positive as we discussed things after sex such as she feels that she's not good enough for me hence why I want someone else which is the complete opposite. Any ways seed planted and lets see if she germinates it!
I'm walking away from it with the vision of her face when I give it like Never before!
Have a good one "
Your getting into it all for the wrong reasons!
As a couple you BOTH want to be into it not be pushed or coerced into it.
Do you love this woman enough to ignore this lifestyle and continue life solely just u and her??
Or is the pull thrill of this lifestyle and having multiple partners more for you ??
In the long run I can just see a lot of cheating and secretiveness it’s nots healthy or good, esp for your lady. |
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By *inx_xxWoman 11 weeks ago
Shrewsbury |
"she feels that she's not good enough for me hence why I want someone else which is the complete opposite. "
You're wife is right.
You're on a swingers site as a single male without permission or knowledge from your wife.
I'm sorry but that's cheating and I know lots of people do it and that's your business. |
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"For me I think your walking into trouble, yea bring it up to and she finds out your already on here, for me if it was brought up to me that way I would assume he had already been with people behind my back"
Maybe she already has and the bit about her mate being on here was a clue?
Her mate shows her his profile and she sees pictures she probably took, veris and his "they don't know what their missing" comment and she joins them for an mff to get her own back  |
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By *te0151 OP Man 11 weeks ago
Liverpool |
Take your comment all day. Relationship could be better for us both. Think we need some new stuff and wondered if this is what we are missing. Both had lots of fun together but life,kids and jobs have impacted the bedroom sadly.
Would love to get us both here on same page.
I'm not pushing it and I'm taking a step back from here to concentrate on us |
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"Take your comment all day. Relationship could be better for us both. Think we need some new stuff and wondered if this is what we are missing. Both had lots of fun together but life,kids and jobs have impacted the bedroom sadly.
Would love to get us both here on same page.
I'm not pushing it and I'm taking a step back from here to concentrate on us "
Interesting. You're taking a step back.... Is that after you decide whether to message her mate as you say in your other forum post a few minutes ago?
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By *bi HaiveMan 11 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"
I'm not pushing it and I'm taking a step back from here to concentrate on us "
You don't need to justify your actions to anyone else. Just yourself. And your wife.
But honesty is usually the best policy.
And a status update looking to meet and accomodate tonight isn't exactly stepping back.
These 'how do I get my partner into swinging' threads rarely end up going well for the person asking the question, given that it's something couples share between them. If you really want her to consider it then only an open and honest conversation is the way forward, not trying to gauge reactions from staged TV programmes. And no means no, not a temporary answer that can be changed with some arm twisting and persuasion. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 11 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Will be when the subscription runs out. You will know the addiction of fab yourself it's hard "
Why wait? It's a fiver at most.
And no, for me it's not an addiction, it's a choice. One I make with the knowledge that I can be on here as little or as much as I wish, with both of my partners being fully aware (given I met them on Fab) and the ability to discuss life openly and honestly.
Secrecy and a lack of consent is what kills relationships, not a lack of sex. |
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OP, if you're in a long term committed relationship, you should know your partner well enough to be aware of the best approach.
You know her and how likely it is that she will be interested, we don't know her.
Do you have an active and varied sex life already? Are you open and honest with each other? If the answer is no to either of these questions, I really don't think swinging is for you.
Successful swinging couples have great relationships and swinging just adds another layer of sexual experiences 2 people can't achieve alone. |
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"Take your comment all day. Relationship could be better for us both. Think we need some new stuff and wondered if this is what we are missing. Both had lots of fun together but life,kids and jobs have impacted the bedroom sadly.
Would love to get us both here on same page.
I'm not pushing it and I'm taking a step back from here to concentrate on us "
You've zero intention of taking a step back if your status update of 10 mins ago is anything to go by.
Your wife told you candidly that she doesn't think she's good enough for you. You say that couldn't be further from the truth. Your solution is to continue reinforcing that she isn't, and you justify it by wanting to wait til you get your fiver's worth out of the site.
It would be laughable if it wasn't so fucking tragic |
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"Take your comment all day. Relationship could be better for us both. Think we need some new stuff and wondered if this is what we are missing. Both had lots of fun together but life,kids and jobs have impacted the bedroom sadly.
Would love to get us both here on same page.
I'm not pushing it and I'm taking a step back from here to concentrate on us "
I don’t know anything about either of you but I do know that, if things could be better for both of you, introducing other people into it isn’t the new stuff you need. |
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"Take your comment all day. Relationship could be better for us both. Think we need some new stuff and wondered if this is what we are missing. Both had lots of fun together but life,kids and jobs have impacted the bedroom sadly.
Would love to get us both here on same page.
I'm not pushing it and I'm taking a step back from here to concentrate on us
You've zero intention of taking a step back if your status update of 10 mins ago is anything to go by.
Your wife told you candidly that she doesn't think she's good enough for you. You say that couldn't be further from the truth. Your solution is to continue reinforcing that she isn't, and you justify it by wanting to wait til you get your fiver's worth out of the site.
It would be laughable if it wasn't so fucking tragic"
This. The poor wife already feeling less worthy and now has this bastard of a "seed planted", well done OP on making your wife probably doubt herself even more. Give your head a wobble and either have a proper open hearted conversation or carry on as you were, ether way I feel sorry for her. |
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I’m sorry but your poor wife.
You have broached the subject and she’s not interested yet you still press her about it.
Add to that the fact you have a single profile on here looking for meets and it absolutely tells me that you don’t respect your lady or relationship at all!
If Sean did this to me, I would be heartbroken and our relationship would be over
Donna |
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By *oney2Couple 11 weeks ago
Chester |
"I’m sorry but your poor wife.
You have broached the subject and she’s not interested yet you still press her about it.
Add to that the fact you have a single profile on here looking for meets and it absolutely tells me that you don’t respect your lady or relationship at all!
If Sean did this to me, I would be heartbroken and our relationship would be over
Donna "
Good post |
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By *oney2Couple 11 weeks ago
Chester |
"These sort of posts absolutely amaze us
Tho looking at all the posts OP has put on checking the green flag am actually starting to think he's just a fantasist "
My partner said this, thinks he doing it for attention |
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"So posted few days back looking for advice on getting the Mrs interested. Just thought I'd update following last nights discussion... Big thanks to everyone for their advice who replied and messaged me directly
It went like this..Nothing on TV as per usual, knew C4 would have some sort of swingers program. Was actually looking for open house as Jess and Mike are hot. Long story comes across young swingers first and the blurb pulled me in, bit of a mistake not good watch. So I made a comment and said let's see what goes on with this... Worst program ever sat there in masks throughout, intimidating rather than sexy.
Starts talking about could you would you etc... and my head could have fell off. She said X her mate and her fella as into swinging and use a site called fan something! My heart went nuts. To the point I was shaking, she picked up on it about 5 mins later and asked why I was shaking! Need to be extra careful now as I am here without permission!
Discussion went ok, talked about a fantasy of mine I sometimes use to wank over a MMF/MMFF with hermshe didn't engage loads but said she's not sharing me, half said well if you want me sha.. then and didn't finish the sentence. Felt the convo didn't have any legs and she wasn't opening up. At this point I was steaming especially knowing her mates at it. Finished off with a naughty shag and give her something to think about for a bit! "
She ain’t interested mate. |
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Simple question: if your wife is enough for you, as you claim - why are you on here?
You've posted two very similar threads and it seems clear from the comments and your own thoughts your wife isn't interested.
Which brings me back to my question - why aes you on here? If she was enough you wouldn't be on here without permission looking for sex, simple. |
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For me I just see this as an non starter. It fails three key tests:
First, you are completely honest and open with each other.
Second (which goes hand in hand with the first), can you communicate your desires clearly with eachother.
Third, you both individually are enthusiastic about exploring the lifestyle together.
I say this not from a point of judgement about individual circumstances but from a point of universal truths of swinging as a couple.
Mr
|
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You want your wife to try swinging? Tell her point blank you like the idea of fucking her in a three way. Ask her if she'd be up for that, attention from you and another man. It's not a case of her shareing you, it's a case of wanting to experience partner swapping and group sex with her.
This is your wife, if you can't be honest with each other why the hell are you married? She may very well say no, in which case Id question what's more important to you? As for being on here, just tell her you've done some research beforehand as you really want to do it.
Now, off you go, god speed!
(Bloody annoying you can't edit typos) |
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