FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Bareback / Being Filled Up
Bareback / Being Filled Up
Jump to: Newest in thread
I get the entire being bareback sensation for guys when having sex, but is it me or is there a worrying amount of unprotected sex happening everywhere ? Bareback / Raw for me is something that is done with a long term partner , someone you trust, or when you have genuine confirmation they are clean. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Well your clearly have not read my profile  "
I read it. I especially was keen because you refer to your lady friend who can be seen in your photo. I must say, she either has an huge clitoris or looks like a white duvet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I get the impression that there's a lot more of it about as well. 10 years ago it was weird and unusual, but now it seems mainstream.
I can understand the attraction, but it's one of those things that is only safe as long as there aren't too many people doing it. As it becomes more popular, there's a tipping point where the HIV rate suddenly takes off.
I don't know how close we are to that tipping point, but I'm sure that government statistics won't be a lot of help because swingers are such a minority. By the time we know that there is a real problem, it will be too late. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There's also an assumption that folk fuck bare all the time or are always out fucking other partners every weekend or something.
For example, what's more risky? One couple who fucked bare with another couple once or twice, or a couple who are having gang bangs rubbered up every month?
You now what real safety is? Don't have sex at all, its the only way to be sure!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *arysueCouple 6 weeks ago
West Wales |
We enjoy bare back my wife loves the feeling and intimacy , and i get to clean up , in a cuck situation bare is essential as it confirms the dominance of the bull and the humiliation of the cuck in an other man coming in his wife |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There's also an assumption that folk fuck bare all the time or are always out fucking other partners every weekend or something.
For example, what's more risky? One couple who fucked bare with another couple once or twice, or a couple who are having gang bangs rubbered up every month?
You now what real safety is? Don't have sex at all, its the only way to be sure! "
Not to mention people who never get tested, because they never have condomless sex. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I genuinely love the feel of bb, but that doesn't mean I will risk my health by doing it. Best I can do is pretend it's bare and ask the guy to pretend too. Most of the time, just being told ill be filled up can tip me over so all good |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *i versMan 6 weeks ago
Kirkcaldy |
I'm the same as everyone is doing it and it's hard to be sure you won't get a disease but if I knew them for awhile and knew that then all good but as soon as you mention a condom then they dissappear |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's a risk assessment that only the person's involved can make ....
I've known people in commited relationships get caught out by indiscreet partners ...
I think the availability of numerous drugs etc lull people into a false sense of security.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I prefer bareback and are very honest and clear about it , I do get tested regularly , it's up to individual ls to decide what they at comfortable, I always tell meets my history if they ask "
I bet most don't ask though. I know I wouldnt. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I prefer bareback and are very honest and clear about it , I do get tested regularly , it's up to individual ls to decide what they at comfortable, I always tell meets my history if they ask "
Ok you're not far from me. Wanna meet up |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I get the entire being bareback sensation for guys when having sex, but is it me or is there a worrying amount of unprotected sex happening everywhere ? Bareback / Raw for me is something that is done with a long term partner , someone you trust, or when you have genuine confirmation they are clean.
"
Yep totally agree
Condoms are a must unless exculsive
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
|
"There's also an assumption that folk fuck bare all the time or are always out fucking other partners every weekend or something.
For example, what's more risky? One couple who fucked bare with another couple once or twice, or a couple who are having gang bangs rubbered up every month?
You now what real safety is? Don't have sex at all, its the only way to be sure! "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Nothing is 100% safe when playing bare but as long as everyone is tested regularly i don't see the problem. We've all been out there young having a one night stand and d*unk"
Can't say either of us have been d*unk and had a one night stand bareback.....
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes it's risky, yes I understand this and take measures to reduce this risk.
But it's so nice feeling a guy cum inside you, unrestricted by a condom (because you can feel their freedom) before he pulls out and you leak cum.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *host63Man 4 weeks ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"I prefer bareback and are very honest and clear about it , I do get tested regularly , it's up to individual ls to decide what they at comfortable, I always tell meets my history if they ask "
I don't see a problem if you are tested and prove it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you want to fuck bareback, there should be no stigma attached. People should not come all high and mighty without knowing ! It’s people’s duty to talk sexual health. Shame on you if you don’t talk about testing. And then the game changers…..prep/pep/doxy prep - these are just for gay men !!!! Educate and make yourself aware and safe
BB should be liberating, free and enjoyed - even more so the fact you can now protect yourselves.
I only fuck bb but only with others who are on prep too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *teff_RedTV/TS 4 weeks ago
Greenhouse or Attic |
It’s about weighing up your own risks and how you control them.
If your on prep, hep jabbed, monkey pox jabbed etc and tested regular then you just as likely to catch something from oral as full sex and most people don’t use condoms for oral.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Where do you get tested and how often ? We want to meet a guy and play bb but not sure the best way to arrange and if guys would be ok sharing results of a test ? "
I test in my local access centre as I visit every 3 months for prep and any updates to relevant jabs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
People are probably barebacking more than they did before because HIV is no longer a terminal illness. It can be successfully treated. It’s much better not to catch it though. I test regularly and take event based PrEP. It’s all free on SH.UK. I’m getting vaccinated fir Hepatitis A and B also. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Personally when I was late teens, early 20s everyone seemed very strict on always using condoms. Now it seems most people I meet, be it on the swinging scene or otherwise are happy to go bare. I get tested regularly and will normally make a judgement call, not gone on prep as didn’t seem an easy way to arrange it and not having regular unprotected sex. Would consider it though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Personally when I was late teens, early 20s everyone seemed very strict on always using condoms. Now it seems most people I meet, be it on the swinging scene or otherwise are happy to go bare. I get tested regularly and will normally make a judgement call, not gone on prep as didn’t seem an easy way to arrange it and not having regular unprotected sex. Would consider it though."
You can get PrEP from SH.UK or maybe another provider depending on where you live. You need to ‘tick the right boxes’ saying you regularly have unprotected sex with swingers. There are a couple of blood tests to do that they mail out to you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The wife went on an arranged meet recently with a single guy who seemed very nice from our initial social meet and claims to be responsible and respectful. He never was given permission by either of us to have unprotected sex. During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised. She has since been very anxious and she has now undergone an STI check and we have asked him to do the same. He has accepted he was in the wrong and he crossed a line. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wife went on an arranged meet recently with a single guy who seemed very nice from our initial social meet and claims to be responsible and respectful. He never was given permission by either of us to have unprotected sex. During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised. She has since been very anxious and she has now undergone an STI check and we have asked him to do the same. He has accepted he was in the wrong and he crossed a line. "
That’s really wrong. Potentially r*pe! Was the subject not discussed? Ie, like you didn’t tell him he couldn’t? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
He assured us he was responsible and respectful to couples. His profile shows that he uses protection. We never gave him permission and he has accepted he was wrong and should have asked first. He has offered to do a test and send us the results. I think that says enough |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"He assured us he was responsible and respectful to couples. His profile shows that he uses protection. We never gave him permission and he has accepted he was wrong and should have asked first. He has offered to do a test and send us the results. I think that says enough "
I bet you’ll always be totally explicit about it in future. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"He assured us he was responsible and respectful to couples. His profile shows that he uses protection. We never gave him permission and he has accepted he was wrong and should have asked first. He has offered to do a test and send us the results. I think that says enough
I bet you’ll always be totally explicit about it in future."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Nothing is 100% safe when playing bare but as long as everyone is tested regularly i don't see the problem. We've all been out there young having a one night stand and d*unk"
have to confess that I haven't actually done that.... x
Bare is something we keep solely for us xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Since being on prep and testing regularly we have caught far less than when we was a strictly safe sex only couple.
So did you still catch stuff?"
fingers crossed at the moment we haven't caught anything but unprotected oral is one of the main ways of catching a std and how many people on here practice safe oral |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Educate yourself people ! Prep is available on the nhs or bought online and you can add doxy prep !!!! "
Educate yourself my friend.
Prep does not prevent STD’s.
You’re the type of guy who reinforces our “safe sex only” rules so thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Where do you get tested and how often ? We want to meet a guy and play bb but not sure the best way to arrange and if guys would be ok sharing results of a test ? "
Free discreet mail order testing is available.
Pretty sure Fab won't mind this website link being posted.
https://sh24.org.uk/ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you are on PrEP that is given to you through your local clinic then you are tested at minimum every three months and you know your status.
You have to be HIV- to take PrEP also.
You can take precautions against pregnancy obviously.
Any other STIs you are very likely at risk of if you are meeting others for sex anyway and you should be testing and aware of them.
Protect yourself and others.
Go speak to the professionals in your clinic is my advice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Educate yourself people ! Prep is available on the nhs or bought online and you can add doxy prep !!!!
Educate yourself my friend.
Prep does not prevent STD’s.
You’re the type of guy who reinforces our “safe sex only” rules so thank you "
PrEP has statistic higher protection for HIV than condom use which is important.
If you are on PrEP then you must test at least every three months and not only if symptoms arise as many seem to do .
If you have sex then it is 'safer sex' not safe sex.
Dixy PrEP protects against many more infections now.
Though it will not suit everyone and needs discussion and advice to make that decision.
You can still catch STIs with a condom or orally.
Even some infections with close contact and kissing.
You really should research a little or speak to the professionals in a clinic.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wife went on an arranged meet recently with a single guy who seemed very nice from our initial social meet and claims to be responsible and respectful. He never was given permission by either of us to have unprotected sex. During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised. She has since been very anxious and she has now undergone an STI check and we have asked him to do the same. He has accepted he was in the wrong and he crossed a line. "
I would say that it's both people's responsibility to be aware and check if needed that you expect to have only safer sex.
If no-one mentions it and it is not previously agreed then how would the others know if no objection is raised.
We are adults and we need to accept the responsibility for ourselves as well as others safety and health.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Where do you get tested and how often ? We want to meet a guy and play bb but not sure the best way to arrange and if guys would be ok sharing results of a test ?
Free discreet mail order testing is available.
Pretty sure Fab won't mind this website link being posted.
https://sh24.org.uk/"
There are different ones for different areas. In London SHL.UK and other places SH.UK
With SHL.UK I am able to order a kit whilst sitting in the car park of a local clinic then collect it from the desk. Complete later and post back. No waiting around!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wife went on an arranged meet recently with a single guy who seemed very nice from our initial social meet and claims to be responsible and respectful. He never was given permission by either of us to have unprotected sex. During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised. She has since been very anxious and she has now undergone an STI check and we have asked him to do the same. He has accepted he was in the wrong and he crossed a line.
I would say that it's both people's responsibility to be aware and check if needed that you expect to have only safer sex.
If no-one mentions it and it is not previously agreed then how would the others know if no objection is raised.
We are adults and we need to accept the responsibility for ourselves as well as others safety and health.
"
Absolutely fully concur with this. Why hasn't the lady taken some responsibility? And to the reply saying it's r ape. What planet are you from? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wife went on an arranged meet recently with a single guy who seemed very nice from our initial social meet and claims to be responsible and respectful. He never was given permission by either of us to have unprotected sex. During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised. She has since been very anxious and she has now undergone an STI check and we have asked him to do the same. He has accepted he was in the wrong and he crossed a line.
I would say that it's both people's responsibility to be aware and check if needed that you expect to have only safer sex.
If no-one mentions it and it is not previously agreed then how would the others know if no objection is raised.
We are adults and we need to accept the responsibility for ourselves as well as others safety and health.
Absolutely fully concur with this. Why hasn't the lady taken some responsibility? And to the reply saying it's r ape. What planet are you from?"
I’m from the planet Earth fella. My reply said ‘potentially r*pe’. For those who come up short in comprehension of the English language the word ‘potentially’ is very important there.
It would have been the case if the subject had been discussed and it had been made clear that protection was required prior to penetration. Any unprotected penetration after that would be without consent and as such r*pe. There have been a number of convictions in such cases. I believe there is a shady practice called ‘stealthing’ where men remove condoms during sex to experience bareback. It’s clear r*pe. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you are on PrEP that is given to you through your local clinic then you are tested at minimum every three months and you know your status.
You have to be HIV- to take PrEP also.
You can take precautions against pregnancy obviously. Not sure where you get your information from but you 100% don't need to have hiv to take prep!!!
Any other STIs you are very likely at risk of if you are meeting others for sex anyway and you should be testing and aware of them.
Protect yourself and others.
Go speak to the professionals in your clinic is my advice."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you are on PrEP that is given to you through your local clinic then you are tested at minimum every three months and you know your status.
You have to be HIV- to take PrEP also.
You can take precautions against pregnancy obviously. Not sure where you get your information from but you 100% don't need to have hiv to take prep!!!
Any other STIs you are very likely at risk of if you are meeting others for sex anyway and you should be testing and aware of them.
Protect yourself and others.
Go speak to the professionals in your clinic is my advice."
"HIV-" = Negative.
Ie, not having HIV .
I worked in Safer sex education back in the 90's as a volunteer and my partner is a Dr.
I keep up with the advances and changes in the medication and management of HIV and Aids. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wife went on an arranged meet recently with a single guy who seemed very nice from our initial social meet and claims to be responsible and respectful. He never was given permission by either of us to have unprotected sex. During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised. She has since been very anxious and she has now undergone an STI check and we have asked him to do the same. He has accepted he was in the wrong and he crossed a line.
I would say that it's both people's responsibility to be aware and check if needed that you expect to have only safer sex.
If no-one mentions it and it is not previously agreed then how would the others know if no objection is raised.
We are adults and we need to accept the responsibility for ourselves as well as others safety and health.
Absolutely fully concur with this. Why hasn't the lady taken some responsibility? And to the reply saying it's r ape. What planet are you from?"
She has not taken any responsibility clearly which is very worrying if accusations like that occur.
The couple very definitely need to discuss and set much clearer boundaries and keep to those boundaries.
If she gave consent , which her partner seems to have admitted that she did and she did not insist on condom use then it is not r Ape at all.
It's down to her to give her expectations and be in control of herself and her safety.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you are on PrEP that is given to you through your local clinic then you are tested at minimum every three months and you know your status.
You have to be HIV- to take PrEP also.
You can take precautions against pregnancy obviously. Not sure where you get your information from but you 100% don't need to have hiv to take prep!!!
Any other STIs you are very likely at risk of if you are meeting others for sex anyway and you should be testing and aware of them.
Protect yourself and others.
Go speak to the professionals in your clinic is my advice.
"HIV-" = Negative.
Ie, not having HIV .
I worked in Safer sex education back in the 90's as a volunteer and my partner is a Dr.
I keep up with the advances and changes in the medication and management of HIV and Aids."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you are on PrEP that is given to you through your local clinic then you are tested at minimum every three months and you know your status.
You have to be HIV- to take PrEP also.
You can take precautions against pregnancy obviously. Not sure where you get your information from but you 100% don't need to have hiv to take prep!!!
Any other STIs you are very likely at risk of if you are meeting others for sex anyway and you should be testing and aware of them.
Protect yourself and others.
Go speak to the professionals in your clinic is my advice.
"HIV-" = Negative.
Ie, not having HIV .
I worked in Safer sex education back in the 90's as a volunteer and my partner is a Dr.
I keep up with the advances and changes in the medication and management of HIV and Aids. "
Men should always ask and never assume. If you think differently then take a good hard look at yourself. The guy has actually accepted full responsibility and has stated he is disappointed with his own actions. Disrespectful and apologetic. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wife went on an arranged meet recently with a single guy who seemed very nice from our initial social meet and claims to be responsible and respectful. He never was given permission by either of us to have unprotected sex. During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised. She has since been very anxious and she has now undergone an STI check and we have asked him to do the same. He has accepted he was in the wrong and he crossed a line.
I would say that it's both people's responsibility to be aware and check if needed that you expect to have only safer sex.
If no-one mentions it and it is not previously agreed then how would the others know if no objection is raised.
We are adults and we need to accept the responsibility for ourselves as well as others safety and health.
Absolutely fully concur with this. Why hasn't the lady taken some responsibility? And to the reply saying it's r ape. What planet are you from?
She has not taken any responsibility clearly which is very worrying if accusations like that occur.
The couple very definitely need to discuss and set much clearer boundaries and keep to those boundaries.
If she gave consent , which her partner seems to have admitted that she did and she did not insist on condom use then it is not r Ape at all.
It's down to her to give her expectations and be in control of herself and her safety.
"
Men should always ask and never assume. If you think differently then take a good hard look at yourself. The guy has actually accepted full responsibility and has stated he is disappointed with his own actions. Disrespectful and apologetic.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wife went on an arranged meet recently with a single guy who seemed very nice from our initial social meet and claims to be responsible and respectful. He never was given permission by either of us to have unprotected sex. During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised. She has since been very anxious and she has now undergone an STI check and we have asked him to do the same. He has accepted he was in the wrong and he crossed a line.
I would say that it's both people's responsibility to be aware and check if needed that you expect to have only safer sex.
If no-one mentions it and it is not previously agreed then how would the others know if no objection is raised.
We are adults and we need to accept the responsibility for ourselves as well as others safety and health.
Absolutely fully concur with this. Why hasn't the lady taken some responsibility? And to the reply saying it's r ape. What planet are you from?
She has not taken any responsibility clearly which is very worrying if accusations like that occur.
The couple very definitely need to discuss and set much clearer boundaries and keep to those boundaries.
If she gave consent , which her partner seems to have admitted that she did and she did not insist on condom use then it is not r Ape at all.
It's down to her to give her expectations and be in control of herself and her safety.
"
She never gave consent. The guy is appalled with himself in the cold light of day. Men should always gain consent and never assume |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wife went on an arranged meet recently with a single guy who seemed very nice from our initial social meet and claims to be responsible and respectful. He never was given permission by either of us to have unprotected sex. During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised. She has since been very anxious and she has now undergone an STI check and we have asked him to do the same. He has accepted he was in the wrong and he crossed a line.
I would say that it's both people's responsibility to be aware and check if needed that you expect to have only safer sex.
If no-one mentions it and it is not previously agreed then how would the others know if no objection is raised.
We are adults and we need to accept the responsibility for ourselves as well as others safety and health.
Absolutely fully concur with this. Why hasn't the lady taken some responsibility? And to the reply saying it's r ape. What planet are you from?
She has not taken any responsibility clearly which is very worrying if accusations like that occur.
The couple very definitely need to discuss and set much clearer boundaries and keep to those boundaries.
If she gave consent , which her partner seems to have admitted that she did and she did not insist on condom use then it is not r Ape at all.
It's down to her to give her expectations and be in control of herself and her safety.
Men should always ask and never assume. If you think differently then take a good hard look at yourself. The guy has actually accepted full responsibility and has stated he is disappointed with his own actions. Disrespectful and apologetic.
"
Both parties are responsible for their own safety and choices. If it was not expressly discussed previously and she willingly had sex without saying anything then how on earth would a man know.
Own it and take responsibility for your own actions.
I do not need to take a good hard look at myself because I would discuss these things before and expect the other person to do so too.
I would certainly expect them to stop and say if they were unhappy also.
It is the responsibility of both parties.
Simple.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wife went on an arranged meet recently with a single guy who seemed very nice from our initial social meet and claims to be responsible and respectful. He never was given permission by either of us to have unprotected sex. During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised. She has since been very anxious and she has now undergone an STI check and we have asked him to do the same. He has accepted he was in the wrong and he crossed a line.
I would say that it's both people's responsibility to be aware and check if needed that you expect to have only safer sex.
If no-one mentions it and it is not previously agreed then how would the others know if no objection is raised.
We are adults and we need to accept the responsibility for ourselves as well as others safety and health.
Absolutely fully concur with this. Why hasn't the lady taken some responsibility? And to the reply saying it's r ape. What planet are you from?
She has not taken any responsibility clearly which is very worrying if accusations like that occur.
The couple very definitely need to discuss and set much clearer boundaries and keep to those boundaries.
If she gave consent , which her partner seems to have admitted that she did and she did not insist on condom use then it is not r Ape at all.
It's down to her to give her expectations and be in control of herself and her safety.
Men should always ask and never assume. If you think differently then take a good hard look at yourself. The guy has actually accepted full responsibility and has stated he is disappointed with his own actions. Disrespectful and apologetic.
"
People can get carried away sometimes and then realise in the cold light of day. When this happens boundaries agreed with partners can end up broken.
Your partner isn't some silly little 20 something who doesn't know better. We assume you had both discussed what your boundaries are prior to any meets. With both of those assumptions in mind it is not fair to put all blame on the man she had sex with.
For example;
"During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised."
This is nobodies business but you and your partner's but we'd be reflecting on if she carried on having sex when she realised or if the sex stopped dead right there. We'd wager it didn't.
It's clear from your posts you are disappointed in the outcome. She's probably regretful too. Process it, talk it through together, and move on.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wife went on an arranged meet recently with a single guy who seemed very nice from our initial social meet and claims to be responsible and respectful. He never was given permission by either of us to have unprotected sex. During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised. She has since been very anxious and she has now undergone an STI check and we have asked him to do the same. He has accepted he was in the wrong and he crossed a line.
I would say that it's both people's responsibility to be aware and check if needed that you expect to have only safer sex.
If no-one mentions it and it is not previously agreed then how would the others know if no objection is raised.
We are adults and we need to accept the responsibility for ourselves as well as others safety and health.
Absolutely fully concur with this. Why hasn't the lady taken some responsibility? And to the reply saying it's r ape. What planet are you from?
She has not taken any responsibility clearly which is very worrying if accusations like that occur.
The couple very definitely need to discuss and set much clearer boundaries and keep to those boundaries.
If she gave consent , which her partner seems to have admitted that she did and she did not insist on condom use then it is not r Ape at all.
It's down to her to give her expectations and be in control of herself and her safety.
Men should always ask and never assume. If you think differently then take a good hard look at yourself. The guy has actually accepted full responsibility and has stated he is disappointed with his own actions. Disrespectful and apologetic.
People can get carried away sometimes and then realise in the cold light of day. When this happens boundaries agreed with partners can end up broken.
Your partner isn't some silly little 20 something who doesn't know better. We assume you had both discussed what your boundaries are prior to any meets. With both of those assumptions in mind it is not fair to put all blame on the man she had sex with.
For example;
"During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised."
This is nobodies business but you and your partner's but we'd be reflecting on if she carried on having sex when she realised or if the sex stopped dead right there. We'd wager it didn't.
It's clear from your posts you are disappointed in the outcome. She's probably regretful too. Process it, talk it through together, and move on.
"
I completely agree.
I'd hate to be the topic of conversation and blame just because this was not discussed and boundaries were not kept to.
We are adults on a sex site after all
It should be safe and respectful. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I absolutely love bareback and cumming inside but I am always safe when first meeting people. It is worrying a lot of the time because I can't tell you the amount of times I've met with people and they've just gone to hop on without me covered up. Admittedly I have gone through with it just once which resulted in a pregnancy scare and I won't allow that to happen again. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wife went on an arranged meet recently with a single guy who seemed very nice from our initial social meet and claims to be responsible and respectful. He never was given permission by either of us to have unprotected sex. During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised. She has since been very anxious and she has now undergone an STI check and we have asked him to do the same. He has accepted he was in the wrong and he crossed a line.
I would say that it's both people's responsibility to be aware and check if needed that you expect to have only safer sex.
If no-one mentions it and it is not previously agreed then how would the others know if no objection is raised.
We are adults and we need to accept the responsibility for ourselves as well as others safety and health.
Absolutely fully concur with this. Why hasn't the lady taken some responsibility? And to the reply saying it's r ape. What planet are you from?
She has not taken any responsibility clearly which is very worrying if accusations like that occur.
The couple very definitely need to discuss and set much clearer boundaries and keep to those boundaries.
If she gave consent , which her partner seems to have admitted that she did and she did not insist on condom use then it is not r Ape at all.
It's down to her to give her expectations and be in control of herself and her safety.
Men should always ask and never assume. If you think differently then take a good hard look at yourself. The guy has actually accepted full responsibility and has stated he is disappointed with his own actions. Disrespectful and apologetic.
People can get carried away sometimes and then realise in the cold light of day. When this happens boundaries agreed with partners can end up broken.
Your partner isn't some silly little 20 something who doesn't know better. We assume you had both discussed what your boundaries are prior to any meets. With both of those assumptions in mind it is not fair to put all blame on the man she had sex with.
For example;
"During play he never asked and it was only during sex that the wife realised."
This is nobodies business but you and your partner's but we'd be reflecting on if she carried on having sex when she realised or if the sex stopped dead right there. We'd wager it didn't.
It's clear from your posts you are disappointed in the outcome. She's probably regretful too. Process it, talk it through together, and move on.
"
Exactly this! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Where do you get tested and how often ? We want to meet a guy and play bb but not sure the best way to arrange and if guys would be ok sharing results of a test ? "
If you want this you must find a guy who you can trust and you all can share test results with why would they not want to share |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"He assured us he was responsible and respectful to couples. His profile shows that he uses protection. We never gave him permission and he has accepted he was wrong and should have asked first. He has offered to do a test and send us the results. I think that says enough "
I can’t see why anyone would do that I always where a condom but through meeting a couple last profile they said you don’t have to where that and I decided not to that’s the only time swinging I have ever not worn a condom |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
