FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > My partner isn't interested in swinging
My partner isn't interested in swinging
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So swinging is something I've always really wanted to do and honestly I find it hard to imagine only having sex with 1 person for the rest of my life pretty hard but my partner has expressed that she has no interest in anything sexual with other people or me doing anything with anyone else. I really love my partner and I hope to spend the rest of my life with her but this is something that really gets to me and it might lead somewhere i don't want it to. So I'm wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation or has any advice |
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Where might it lead that you don't want it to?
There are loads of men on here who have partners who aren't interested in swinging. They do one of several things, accept it, do it behind their backs or try to persuade them. Some of them think it's a good idea to set up meets without them knowing or to bombard them with porn.
I think you have to work out what's more important to you, your relationship or swinging and make choices accordingly |
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"So swinging is something I've always really wanted to do and honestly I find it hard to imagine only having sex with 1 person for the rest of my life pretty hard but my partner has expressed that she has no interest in anything sexual with other people or me doing anything with anyone else. I really love my partner and I hope to spend the rest of my life with her but this is something that really gets to me and it might lead somewhere i don't want it to. So I'm wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation or has any advice "
Does your partner know you’re bisexual or is that a secret too? |
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Your obviously more emotionally connected to her than you are physically and that in itself means you'll likely go behind her back at some point if you stay with her .....
I think you need to search your inner self and decide whether it's right to continue your relationship or risk it ending further down the line ...
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This was us a few years back. Right before our wedding I panicked - I hadn’t explored my bi side, I hadn’t had many sexual experiences other than him, I had always wanted to swing. He didn’t want to, he wanted monogamy. I had to make a decision.
I chose him and an agreement that if I ever felt I was going to stray, I would be honest and end it with him because he never wanted to be cheated on (a lot of cheating gf in his younger days). I promised to be monogamous with him. I didn’t bring it up again after he begged me never to.
We’ve just had our third wedding anniversary and started swinging a few months ago - after he suggested it!
Don’t depend on this happy ending because I’m sure it doesn’t happen for everyone. But to be with him - the best man in my life - I accepted his terms, but eh eventually met me there anyway. And we have never been closer! |
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"Your obviously more emotionally connected to her than you are physically and that in itself means you'll likely go behind her back at some point if you stay with her .....
I think you need to search your inner self and decide whether it's right to continue your relationship or risk it ending further down the line ...
"
The thing is I do find her very attractive and I do enjoy sex with her but I can't imagine only having sex with her |
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"This was us a few years back. Right before our wedding I panicked - I hadn’t explored my bi side, I hadn’t had many sexual experiences other than him, I had always wanted to swing. He didn’t want to, he wanted monogamy. I had to make a decision.
I chose him and an agreement that if I ever felt I was going to stray, I would be honest and end it with him because he never wanted to be cheated on (a lot of cheating gf in his younger days). I promised to be monogamous with him. I didn’t bring it up again after he begged me never to.
We’ve just had our third wedding anniversary and started swinging a few months ago - after he suggested it!
Don’t depend on this happy ending because I’m sure it doesn’t happen for everyone. But to be with him - the best man in my life - I accepted his terms, but eh eventually met me there anyway. And we have never been closer! "
Could you dm me? |
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"Your obviously more emotionally connected to her than you are physically and that in itself means you'll likely go behind her back at some point if you stay with her .....
I think you need to search your inner self and decide whether it's right to continue your relationship or risk it ending further down the line ...
"
That’s a weird take on it on a swingers site?!! I find my husband incredibly attractive, emotionally connected, sexually satisfied and everyone I need. Doesn’t mean it’s not fun AF to also play with others of everyone consents! |
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"Your obviously more emotionally connected to her than you are physically and that in itself means you'll likely go behind her back at some point if you stay with her .....
I think you need to search your inner self and decide whether it's right to continue your relationship or risk it ending further down the line ...
The thing is I do find her very attractive and I do enjoy sex with her but I can't imagine only having sex with her "
I'd suggest that you shouldn't commit to a long term relationship where only one of you wants monogamy |
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By *uvs2snogMan 14 hours ago
Now living in Spain - Vistabella |
I would say don’t do anything drastic and certainly try not to pressure her
My Mrs has always said she couldn’t share me whenever the topic of 3sums ( my fantasy) has come up
However over the last couple of years during sex she has on multiple occasions brought another female ( normally someone we know ) into the role play. I would then respond saying watching the two of them go down on each other or ‘imagine it’s her fingers not mine doing this’ etc - this would make her orgasm quickly as she finds it very horny
Now I appreciate this is fantasy role play but it does indicate her feelings towards another woman ( not always the same friend ) getting involved
We now live in Spain and visit a nudist beach at least once a week ( something we wouldn’t have dreamed of doing in the uk ). Late in the day when it’s quieter we have seen couples play with each other occasionally - something that turns her on big time and something she has said she wants to do - especially if close to another couple and something she now uses in our sex role play
So again not swinging but two couples playing separately in front of each other -
Baby steps
So I wouldn’t say your situation is much different to what ours was a couple of years ago but over time may change |
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"So swinging is something I've always really wanted to do and honestly I find it hard to imagine only having sex with 1 person for the rest of my life pretty hard but my partner has expressed that she has no interest in anything sexual with other people or me doing anything with anyone else. I really love my partner and I hope to spend the rest of my life with her but this is something that really gets to me and it might lead somewhere i don't want it to. So I'm wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation or has any advice "
Yes, loads have been in your situation, your young and should not nail yourself down so early until you have tried this lifestyle |
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I'm guessing you've been on here a good few years, as your bio says 25, yet you've written 20.
I haven't been in this position, when I wanted to have casual meets, I stayed single.
When I met my partner, it was here & we have a joint profile.
You need decide what's more important to you, swinging or your partner op. It seems you can't have both. |
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I was in this situation years ago,as I loved her and after trying for yonks.i eventually put it out of my mind.
On a lads night out and unexpectedly I ended up cheating on her & it tore me to shreds.so much so that I confessed.we did get over it,but it was never the same after that.eventually unrelated we split up after 19 years together.after her I have always been honest about swinging & never fallen for anyone else so far.just think long and hard about any action you might take.axtion have consequences |
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"This was us a few years back. Right before our wedding I panicked - I hadn’t explored my bi side, I hadn’t had many sexual experiences other than him, I had always wanted to swing. He didn’t want to, he wanted monogamy. I had to make a decision.
I chose him and an agreement that if I ever felt I was going to stray, I would be honest and end it with him because he never wanted to be cheated on (a lot of cheating gf in his younger days). I promised to be monogamous with him. I didn’t bring it up again after he begged me never to.
We’ve just had our third wedding anniversary and started swinging a few months ago - after he suggested it!
Don’t depend on this happy ending because I’m sure it doesn’t happen for everyone. But to be with him - the best man in my life - I accepted his terms, but eh eventually met me there anyway. And we have never been closer! "
Great story guys. Happy for you both. Thanks for sharing 🙏🏻 |
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By *bi HaiveMan 10 hours ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Your obviously more emotionally connected to her than you are physically and that in itself means you'll likely go behind her back at some point if you stay with her .....
I think you need to search your inner self and decide whether it's right to continue your relationship or risk it ending further down the line ...
The thing is I do find her very attractive and I do enjoy sex with her but I can't imagine only having sex with her "
Swinging and monogamy aren't mutually compatible. Even if, and it's a huge if, one partner didn’t want to swing but accepted the other did, it's highly probable that resentment and negativity would eventually set in, especially if relatively young and wanting to eventually settle down and potentially do the whole marriage/kids thing.
I'd say youre going to have to choose one or the other. 🤷♂️
And definitely before you move on from just having a profile to actually meeting. Once that line has been crossed there's no going back. |
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We met on the scene and became a couple and are due to marry in a little under 2 months. I (K) no longer have the desire to sleep with other men but i’m happy to stay on the scene as i enjoy watching A with other women. We have both said that we would leave the scene if it got to the point where i wasn’t happy with it anymore.
Who knows what will happen in the future and if i will want to again but you should be honest with her and if you love her, walk away from swinging. |
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