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Complimenting profiles...
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By *k12345 OP Man 37 weeks ago
London/Canterbury |
Im just wondering, do ladies and couples like it or not like it when a guy dm"s them to compliment them about their profile (without mentioning any naughty stuff) just being polite and complimentary even if you are not what they are looking for? Is this a good or bad thing? |
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We don’t mind our profile or pics being complemented and the majority of the time we will respond with a thank you…but then tend to close down any further conversations if no interest on our behalf |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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We don't mind the compliments, but only from profiles that match what we look for. Otherwise its 3 messages of dry conversation and a waste of everyones time. |
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I don't mind them, they're very rarely just compliments though.
I do take some things with a big pinch of salt though as it can come off as disingenuous. It really depends on how over the top they're haha. |
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By *ale4FunCouple 37 weeks ago
Canaries Only |
If it’s purely is a message that is a “compliment” and it’s nicely written we’d reply with a thank you, especially if it’s from someone hundreds of miles away…unfortunately most will be local. And once you’ve replied it’s like you’ve given the green light for more chat! Just our take on it 😉 |
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My recommendation would be write it nicely and make it clear youre not expecting anything in return (even a thank you).
I would also make it easy to reply to if they choose to. And still don't take that as anything more unless they are asking for more from you.
Id also save it for the people where you are within their likes, or at least where something unique made you respond.
Id be surprised if people get upset by this but there's always someone having a bad day. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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I normally compliment not expecting anything in return, maybe a quick chit chat but that's about it, feel like people deal with enough that a compliment helps sometimes |
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I'll be honest, I don't like it. Purely because most have an agenda, ie you say thanks, then they try for sex chat or a meet.
I know not all have the same agenda, it's just my experience, so I tend to ignore those sorts of messages. Especially when someone miles away, sends one. |
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"The problem with compliments on here, OP, is that there always seem to be a hidden agenda behind them, they are never just compliments. "
Exactly this.
It’s awkward and I never know what to say in return. A simple thank you sounds easy on the face of it but the original compliment is almost never genuinely no strings attached. When it’s someone who isn’t your type, failure to respond further often descends into ‘and after I was so nice, you fat slag’ angry responses. |
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"The problem with compliments on here, OP, is that there always seem to be a hidden agenda behind them, they are never just compliments.
Exactly this.
It’s awkward and I never know what to say in return. A simple thank you sounds easy on the face of it but the original compliment is almost never genuinely no strings attached. When it’s someone who isn’t your type, failure to respond further often descends into ‘and after I was so nice, you fat slag’ angry responses. "
I get exactly this. I did try and send responses to nice compliments , where people have obviously made an effort to write something personal. But even that has had pitfalls, as eventually some of the recipients then expect more.
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"Im just wondering, do ladies and couples like it or not like it when a guy dm"s them to compliment them about their profile (without mentioning any naughty stuff) just being polite and complimentary even if you are not what they are looking for? Is this a good or bad thing?"
It's a waste of my time on here....too many "compliments". However, if we meet in person, I am happy to take the compliment there and then. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"Lesson learned: don’t do it. Check. "
Incorrect. Do it to profiles where you match what they want and indicate that its a message to compliment them and nothing more. |
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At first I was just trying to be polite and compliment people’s profiles, but it seems most take that as me wanting to jump straight into bed and then they either block or delete. Honestly, a simple ‘thank you’ would do, but hey, each to their own. Funny thing is, the same people often write in their bios that they don’t want rude messages… oh, the irony. |
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"At first I was just trying to be polite and compliment people’s profiles, but it seems most take that as me wanting to jump straight into bed and then they either block or delete. Honestly, a simple ‘thank you’ would do, but hey, each to their own. Funny thing is, the same people often write in their bios that they don’t want rude messages… oh, the irony."
Unfortunately us neurodivergants simply don't know what to do with a random compliment. Just saying "thankyou" seems rude and blunt. Ignoring seems rude. And we overthink it whether there's another meaning behind it. Do they just mean it as a compliment or is it an ice breaker to try and build chat? And we (us specifically) can't do small talk online....a handful of messages between people we fancy and we try and get a meet, we can't handle loads and loads of chat threads that always end up as a daily "hey, what you up to?" message which we can't answer.
We try and just reply with "thankyou" and then ignore follow up messages. Then we feel rude for doing that! |
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"At first I was just trying to be polite and compliment people’s profiles, but it seems most take that as me wanting to jump straight into bed and then they either block or delete. Honestly, a simple ‘thank you’ would do, but hey, each to their own. Funny thing is, the same people often write in their bios that they don’t want rude messages… oh, the irony.
Unfortunately us neurodivergants simply don't know what to do with a random compliment. Just saying "thankyou" seems rude and blunt. Ignoring seems rude. And we overthink it whether there's another meaning behind it. Do they just mean it as a compliment or is it an ice breaker to try and build chat? And we (us specifically) can't do small talk online....a handful of messages between people we fancy and we try and get a meet, we can't handle loads and loads of chat threads that always end up as a daily "hey, what you up to?" message which we can't answer.
We try and just reply with "thankyou" and then ignore follow up messages. Then we feel rude for doing that!"
I totally get what you’re saying online small talk can be tricky, especially when it feels like every message has a hidden meaning…. I think just being genuine goes a long way. |
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Just don't be one of the guys who sends a message to a couple and addresses only one of them. That's rude and the equivalent of seeing a couple at a club and squeezing in between them to tell the lady how lovely her tits are. 😅 |
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