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Other couples: best way to find single guys?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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We’re still new to this, and trying things as we go, so a question for the couples who’ve got more … ahem … experience.
What’s your preferred way to find and meet single guys? |
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Go to clubs and meet them is currently our favourite.
Otherwise, actively seek out guys with good, meaningful verifications that have been around for a while. Create a hotlist.
Avoid new, unverified profiles, guys that send dick pics or have dick pic avatars and three word bios that say “just ask” or “fill in later”
Arrange a social and be amazed at how many still won’t even turn up for this but at least you saved on a hotel bill.
But….when it all comes together…..it’s brilliant!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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We’ve tried one club, and it certainly made for a good people-watching experience. Just not sure it’s got the opportunity for flirting and spark that we’re looking for. We’ll probably try again, though, or maybe arrange to meet someone there.
But omg, the messages with mostly dick pics attached. And as profile pics! |
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"We’ve tried one club, and it certainly made for a good people-watching experience. Just not sure it’s got the opportunity for flirting and spark that we’re looking for. We’ll probably try again, though, or maybe arrange to meet someone there.
But omg, the messages with mostly dick pics attached. And as profile pics!"
Check out a few clubs, they have different vibes/ some have different evenings that cater for particular wants etc.
We travel all over for clubs that we really like... but yep, there's a lot of cock photos that come up in messages lol x |
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So we are still very new to thins lifestyle aswell.
And it is so hard to find respectful genuine guys to meet.
We like the idea of the clubs but haven’t plucked up the courage to go to one yet.
There are some lovely gents out there but you have to talk to so many to find the right ones lol. |
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"So we are still very new to thins lifestyle aswell.
And it is so hard to find respectful genuine guys to meet.
We like the idea of the clubs but haven’t plucked up the courage to go to one yet.
There are some lovely gents out there but you have to talk to so many to find the right ones lol. "
Clubs are a lot of fun... maybe check out a social if you're not sure about a club yet x |
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"We’ve tried one club, and it certainly made for a good people-watching experience. Just not sure it’s got the opportunity for flirting and spark that we’re looking for. We’ll probably try again, though, or maybe arrange to meet someone there.
But omg, the messages with mostly dick pics attached. And as profile pics!"
From what you have written so far, I would 100% agree with most that clubs are the way to go. However if you still find after your next trip its still missing the spark you refer to, proactively seek single men, again using some of the above mentioned criteria. Well verified, long standing, decent profile text and actual pics.
Then I woukd suggest simply chatting and messaging, allow the flirting and build up there, make them wait a bit for the social, you will find sincere guys will stay around where as the likely time wasters wont. Then after some time chatting arrange a flirty social, see how you both feel during and after and if in agreement on the guy, arrange the play meet.
Good luck on your search and keep being excellent |
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"Never posted a cock picture
Really ? I have just looked at your profile pics. "
Yes there maybe 1 on my profile probably when I was in the bath ,just to clarify I've never sent 1 in a message, and maybe 1 on my profile amongst other pics ,if it offends people, I can put it to private |
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We find clubs work best for us.
Certainly it helps of you can socialise first; may be pre drinks at a bar beforehand. etc.
But no two nights are ever the same. Some nights no one catches your eye but others nights you could be spoilt for choice.
No need to worry about no shows and even if we don't make a connection it's still a fun night out. |
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I know a lot like to meet them at clubs but we've had mixed results, if you like clubs it will be a good place.
Generally I (Mr) will chat for a while with them first, if you can keep that going and stay interested it's usually good.
There are so many men here couples are often quick to dismiss guys but there are loads of really nice normal guys here. You can see the ones you don't want to meet quite quickly with just some regular chat over a few weeks.
I do think that if you can't find a decent single guy on fab then you're doing something wrong, you've set your expectations too high or you're ruling out with too many filters (it's a bit of the 6'5 blue eyes thing...)
Just my two pence  |
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Hello xx Im better in person than here in text form, it’s not an ideal form of communication. Ive spent some time with a couple of couples over the years and they were both cool experiences but for me, expectations always get in the way. This is why it is better to go into things with an open mind and a good conversation about limits xxx |
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"So we are still very new to thins lifestyle aswell.
And it is so hard to find respectful genuine guys to meet.
We like the idea of the clubs but haven’t plucked up the courage to go to one yet.
There are some lovely gents out there but you have to talk to so many to find the right ones lol. "
The suggestion of an organised group social is a good one if you are still too nervous for a club. There's a good one in Fleet next week. Check out Hampshire's most wanted profile.
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When we are looking for a single guy to join us we put a meet ad up on here. When a guy (whose profile we like) responds we ask to see a clear recent face photo then if that’s good we will ask them to phone us. This process usually s out the non genuine ones as fantasist et al do not usually like to chat on the phone. Not fool proof but works pretty well for us. |
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Clubs typically if I'm honest.
I have met some great guys on fab but it's hard work, most seem to engage the wrong head so to speak but when it works it works very well.
You'll get there it just takes effort, they will obviously come to your profile but I would be proactive with your search. |
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I’m wanting an mmmf and it’s so hard to find 2 genuine guys it’s nearly happened twice but the one guy has let us down had a few mmf before we always put up a status or a meet see who is close by and who ticks my boxes |
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To read that there are couples that are looking for genuine males has restored my faith in what this lifestyle is about. It’s hard for males who are relatively new to the scene to get verifications when most won’t even look twice at someone without them. For someone who is looking for genuine chemistry and not just a fuck everyone approach. I think attending clubs and their socials will be the way to go for me. Building a rapport and sexual chemistry is an important element which I look for when I send out messages on here. There are genuine males out there but there are thousands of idiots that spoil it for the rest of us. (As I found out when I was in a past lifestyle relationship and the majority of messages are disrespectful and just full of cock pictures) |
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By *helroyCouple 29 weeks ago
Skegness |
"When we are looking for a single guy to join us we put a meet ad up on here. When a guy (whose profile we like) responds we ask to see a clear recent face photo then if that’s good we will ask them to phone us. This process usually s out the non genuine ones as fantasist et al do not usually like to chat on the phone. Not fool proof but works pretty well for us. "
we do this as well we fined it works well for us too |
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"So we are still very new to thins lifestyle aswell.
And it is so hard to find respectful genuine guys to meet.
We like the idea of the clubs but haven’t plucked up the courage to go to one yet.
There are some lovely gents out there but you have to talk to so many to find the right ones lol. "
If you’re not quite ready for a. Club then go to a social local to you. |
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"When we are looking for a single guy to join us we put a meet ad up on here. When a guy (whose profile we like) responds we ask to see a clear recent face photo then if that’s good we will ask them to phone us. This process usually s out the non genuine ones as fantasist et al do not usually like to chat on the phone. Not fool proof but works pretty well for us. "
The phone call or better, WhatsApp video call is a great way of sifting out the dreamers, keyboard wankers and timewasters. Any genuine, confident, experienced single guy will be willing to do this after a few messages and pic exchanges establishing common ground and interest. Any that don’t are hiding something- they don’t look like their pics for example…
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By *olo_89Couple 29 weeks ago
Kettering |
"We tend to only meet them in clubs as its the best way to get to know them in a neutral location without the risk of a no show.
Hiya
Have you tried chameleons "
We have tried it, unfortunately not a club for us based on drive time and preference for clubs. We do tend to end up at Jaydees, Attic or xtasia |
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"We tend to only meet them in clubs as its the best way to get to know them in a neutral location without the risk of a no show.
Hiya
Have you tried chameleons
We have tried it, unfortunately not a club for us based on drive time and preference for clubs. We do tend to end up at Jaydees, Attic or xtasia"
Yes I understand, I like the vibe and dress down in there |
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By *olo_89Couple 29 weeks ago
Kettering |
"We tend to only meet them in clubs as its the best way to get to know them in a neutral location without the risk of a no show.
Hiya
Have you tried chameleons
We have tried it, unfortunately not a club for us based on drive time and preference for clubs. We do tend to end up at Jaydees, Attic or xtasia
Yes I understand, I like the vibe and dress down in there "
Yeah i think it was the dress down that we didn't like, want to dress down when we are ready/comfortable but to each their own hence why so many clubs for so many people |
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"We tend to only meet them in clubs as its the best way to get to know them in a neutral location without the risk of a no show.
Hiya
Have you tried chameleons
We have tried it, unfortunately not a club for us based on drive time and preference for clubs. We do tend to end up at Jaydees, Attic or xtasia
Yes I understand, I like the vibe and dress down in there
Yeah i think it was the dress down that we didn't like, want to dress down when we are ready/comfortable but to each their own hence why so many clubs for so many people "
Totally agree |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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We tried Chameleons recently. It was a decent looking place. But — just looking at the website — we’re a bit puzzled by the love that Xtasia gets? The virtual tour doesn’t really sell it? |
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By *olo_89Couple 29 weeks ago
Kettering |
"We tried Chameleons recently. It was a decent looking place. But — just looking at the website — we’re a bit puzzled by the love that Xtasia gets? The virtual tour doesn’t really sell it?"
Their website is really bad but the club itself is lovely and hosts a really good alt night and kink events so we may be a bit biased with that one |
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Do couples possess some inherent inability to message men themselves? Or are they sitting around dithering and lamenting about the quality of messages that they receive or the unwelcome abundance of cock photos?
Echoing some of the advice above — clubs are the way forward, surely. Perhaps even message men directly. I know it's taking the initiative but sometimes it's a good thing for the sake of variety. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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Nero, if we started messaging guys as well, we’d never clear the inbox! We try to give everyone a reply, even if it’s a polite ‘good luck’. Fabmin is a serious business |
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"Nero, if we started messaging guys as well, we’d never clear the inbox! We try to give everyone a reply, even if it’s a polite ‘good luck’. Fabmin is a serious business"
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Put your filters up: men won't be able to message you, leaving your inbox in a more manageable state. This will then allow you to message men at your discretion whilst keeping 'Fabmin' to a minimum. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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Thanks for all the useful info. So Wicked/Remix and Xtasia are definitely going to get a visit, and we’re going try pre-arranging meets at the clubs before we go.
Also, just noticed how many people visit Chams during Saturday afternoon. Being early birds rather than night owls, this might be better for us!
Thanks all |
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"Also, just noticed how many people visit Chams during Saturday afternoon. Being early birds rather than night owls, this might be better for us!"
Chams during the day is quieter, but there always appears to be an adequate supply of single males. 
It's a great place to stop on a trip somewhere else. Would you rather have a break at a service station, or a break at Chams? |
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By *eyeYCouple 29 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
What many have already said veris, decent profile pics and bio..
Make your own opinion by the way they interact with you (both!) here and a social, with the potential of 'more'.
Otherwise you're not that far from us and the HWC event at Lib's is good, attractive guys who are vetted and all were friendly and respectful.
Will add it was our best experience of events where single guys have admission.
14/11/25, we're not going but know many others who are.
Hopefully helps x |
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Single guys at clubs tend to be a unique type. Maybe you're type or maybe not. But consider the type of single guy who goes to the club, the type of guy who is allowed into the club, and the type of guy who you want to play with. The reality is that jrs exceptionally unlikely those are all compatible.
I'd say 90% of our best meets on here are from guys with no verifications / guys who can read our very basic profile / guys who meet our requirements.
As a general rule, guys who have lots verifications here are the 0.01% and as a result have a very entitled attitude.
Our experience is that guys with no or limited verifications are more respectful, less entitled and generally more appreciative of meeting us.
I've often heard in clubs people "bragging" about how they are meeting some well verified guy or couple as if it's some status symbol. |
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"We’re still new to this, and trying things as we go, so a question for the couples who’ve got more … ahem … experience.
What’s your preferred way to find and meet single guys?"
That is probably the last thing you wiull have issues with. you will be inundated with them.
I fyou limit to site supporters you limit it to a degree, but plenty will offer to you |
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"Our experience is that guys with no or limited verifications are more respectful, less entitled and generally more appreciative of meeting us."
That wasn't our experience. When we met well verified guys it was easy to see why they were well verified. Friendly and confident but relaxed and respectful.
Of course, being experienced they had their own wants and needs, but that's fine if you treat them with respect. If you're after a doormat that will do whatever you ask, then maybe they're not the right choice.
It sounds like you had some really bad experiences. |
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"I’m wanting an mmmf and it’s so hard to find 2 genuine guys it’s nearly happened twice but the one guy has let us down had a few mmf before we always put up a status or a meet see who is close by and who ticks my boxes "
With not being meet verified its next to impossible to get a couple’s attention. I understand online is difficult anyway but definitely meet verified is a big hurdle. |
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From the other side, I've never managed to get a meet just off this site - clubs have been far more successful even if I find them stressful. It at least shows that they've turned up, whether or not you find the fellas present attractive is an entirely different thing. |
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By *aandLoCouple 28 weeks ago
Southampton |
Both clubs and Fab has worked for us. Both take patience and just saying 'no, thanks' if the connect doesn't work.
Making contact before the club visit was a plus for us, as we them met at the club and had a bit of a chat before heading off to a room.
The social aspect to establish attraction is very important to me. It can take a "he's ok" to "oh, my pussy is tingling."
If a social from a connect on Fab turns into sex great, but if there's no chemistry we will politely say so.
Maybe it depends what your desires and expectations are? L x |
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We still find the right single guys to be the true unicorns. We don't really bother on here. We find the best places to find guys is at clubs or just on nights out in town. Seriously sometimes the best place to find guys is just out in the vanilla world. Basically its always easier in a setting where you meet face to face first with no pressure or expectations and get a quick idea if the chemistry is there or not. |
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What clubs you suggest then for single guy wearing to meet couples in London? I went to Le Boudoir pre pandemic with my wife and has fun, they however not accepted our application post pandemic and put me off to even trying apply as single man. Went to AbFab at a supposedly bi evening, were mostly couples ignoring the few single guys (apparently I was the only bi guy as well)
Tried twice the Bi Fun club at KingCross but there are basically mostly guys (at least bi ones) and few paid women to entertain (which puts me off)
So I'll be very happy to know were couples go hunting  |
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As a single guy, I'm curious about an answer to this question as I don't know where would be the best place to to meet folks, especially Older women and couples interested in a cuck/hotwife relationship |
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There are plenty of decent single guys on here. I do hear though from couples I meet and chat to that they can be unreliable and lotsbof no shows. Hopefully that means that the ones who do turn up and are respectful enjoy more meets. Good luck and happy fabbing guys |
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By *reg CMan 27 weeks ago
Wiltshire |
There are definitely some of us decent single guys here who love joining a couple… sadly and understandably, our reputation gets tainted by the time wasters or the cock-profiles who just want instant gratification. I think getting a sense of them through the veris works best - and also checking they’re not simply fucking their way through the site! |
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"We’re still new to this, and trying things as we go, so a question for the couples who’ve got more … ahem … experience.
What’s your preferred way to find and meet single guys?"
You sound like you’re already approaching this in the right way.
I’m drawn to couples who are intelligent, honest, and loving - open about their mutual desires and completely in tune with each other.
When that kind of trust exists, it’s an honour and a privilege to be invited into it. |
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By *reg CMan 27 weeks ago
Wiltshire |
Totally agree with this! Nothing better than an honest and open minded couple!!
"We’re still new to this, and trying things as we go, so a question for the couples who’ve got more … ahem … experience.
What’s your preferred way to find and meet single guys?
You sound like you’re already approaching this in the right way.
I’m drawn to couples who are intelligent, honest, and loving - open about their mutual desires and completely in tune with each other.
When that kind of trust exists, it’s an honour and a privilege to be invited into it."
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By *udgeMan 27 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"We’ve tried one club, and it certainly made for a good people-watching experience. Just not sure it’s got the opportunity for flirting and spark that we’re looking for. We’ll probably try again, though, or maybe arrange to meet someone there.
But omg, the messages with mostly dick pics attached. And as profile pics!"
Very rare to find single men and certainly not with dick pic as a profile pic .. 😱 |
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"You could just try messaging us we are not all a waste of space but seems like the ones who are fuck it all up for us genuine ones"
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No they don't. No one ruins anything for the "genuine ones". My experiences/success are based upon my behaviour and not the transgressions of other men. |
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Quite a conundrum. Agree with most, clubs are probably the safest bet. We get messages from guys and we always suggest to come and engage when we are at (insert club here) on a certain night. Unfortunately 99% don’t bother for whatever reason. But also consider, just because there are lots of guys there, doesn’t mean they are all for you (and vice versa).
It has also become clear to us that there are many, many fantastic guys on this site who, for whatever reason, just don’t do clubs. Fair enough. So to try and meet some of those we will occasionally have an evening in a hotel where we invite at least one gentleman we know and then at least one with whom we have had some interesting messaging conversations here. So far, we have been extremely pleased with the outcomes. |
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By *CBoyTV/TS 26 weeks ago
Rhondda Fawr |
"We’re still new to this, and trying things as we go, so a question for the couples who’ve got more … ahem … experience.
What’s your preferred way to find and meet single guys?"
You dont know how lucky you are to have sites like this available to you. When i and my then partner wanted to find a single guy so she could experience two cocks it was late 80s and we had to use Contact mags. It was a very long drawn out proceedure replying to adverts and even longer when we put our own advert in. It took 6 months to actually set up a first meeting and that was a social meet so we could check him out properly.
Now with Fab and similar sites you can easily check out guys via their profile likes photos and videos and fix up meets in 6 hours not 6 months.
Clubs werent that common when we started and anyway she just wanted to fulfil a 3some fantasy in private so if you are the same dont use clubs. Use Fab and set up social meeting first just to verify the guy. Meet for a quick coffee or drink and tell him in advance that you wont be playing until a later date.
That way there is no issue if you decide you dont like him.
Have fun at your pace not anyone elses. |
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