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What do you Want ?? (couples mainly)
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Hey...
Apologies for the slightly aggressive subject line but we are so confused...
Why do our message threads seem to just dry up ? we have had long back and forth message conversations with some lovely people on fab but it just never seems to transition to anything more. We see sent messages left unread for days that eventually get read but not responded to... I admit we are not the best at messaging and knowing what to say, I have severe foot in mouth syndrome and worry too much about making it sound just right.
However we always do the best we can and we always finish our message with a question or some other frame of reference for the other people to respond to... something which can stump us when others reply without one.
When they just stop we are often left wondering if we have somehow offended them or if they've looked back through our photo's and just decided... No... (we know we are not the most attractive couple and a bit overweight... we are trying to work on that).
What do people want in a message? Do people want to cut to the chase with full sexual content... like "you're so hot and your photo's are amazing... when can we come round and fuck?" are others (like us) nervous to come out and ask for a meet...
Do people want dirty talk and compliments from their profile and photo's "your bodies are incredible my wife wants to nibble his huge cock or husband wants see how wet she gets"
do they want respectful or banter, fast or slow, sexual or starting slow, and the big question... if we wait awhile and then message again are we harassing ? are we appearing desperate ? is it that they've just found something better ?
Would love to hear your thoughts ?
Take Care
Nichola & Mark |
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It’s not you guys. I think messages just tailing off is by far the most common occurrence on fab. We’ve only been on just over a month and we’ve started to get very specific in our profile on what we are looking for and how we’d go about it. Meeting people in clubs has also been far more productive for us. |
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By *WANDTGCouple 26 weeks ago
Borough of Greenwich |
With us we find that some chats peter out but we have tried to rekindle them a few weeks later, especially if we've said we are unavailable for a few weeks.
As for chat, everyone is different, we don't really get of on the sexting thing. Mainly we'd ask them how local they were to us, this would govern wether a meet was possible or not. |
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Hey, I hope im not speaking out of turn here but in my experience meeting couples, Outside of This weird and wonderful world, life is and gets busy. What I've found positive is getting a date that suits you both early on in the conversation for a social and then continue the conversation from there until said date.
I have found many on here don't want jump straight into it but also can't afford a weeks long chat with no plan at the end of it.
Your profile looks great so no worries there just be brave and ask them out.
Hope this helps 🙂 |
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By *aandLoCouple 26 weeks ago
Southampton |
In our experience it's incredibly difficult to meet another couple that you gel with. You're looking for attraction in 4 directions! And on top of that each couple has their own desires, kinks, goals and prerequisites....
Chatting and messaging is the way for you all to find out if the spark is there. Unfortunately there can (and often is) a point where one, two or all of you realise something is missing. More unfortunate is that some people don't see a need to politely exit, but rather just stop reading, or replying to your messages.
It really isn't a personal slight on you. Forget them, go out to a club, spoil yourselves and try again with another potential connection another day. xx  |
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We think that some people will chat because nobody else is chatting. The moment someone more in their eye line starts to talk is when they tail off.
And then there's the ones that want to be tittilated, but no more.
And sometimes it could just be apparent that how you chat isn't how they want to.
There's a load of possible reasons. We just have to accept that it happens & not let it get us down. |
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I (Mr) think a lot of it comes down to people looking for different things. Our preference is to swap some pics to see if there is an initial attraction, then chat further on another messaging platform in a group chat with lots of flirting and getting to know each other. Logistics mean that we need to plan meets well in advance and we aren't interested in last minute meets either. We are primarily looking for single males at this point. We try to be upfront about our circumstances and explain that meets won't be at the drop of a hat, but I've lost count of the amount of times where guys will say they're fine with that, move across to a group chat and then the conversation dries up. |
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That's a pretty difficult question as every couple or going to be different.
I also have a couples profile so feel fairly well qualified to answer.... In my experience, finding 4 people who all click can be extremely difficult. Different couples have different ways they like to communicate. Some like to both be available to read and answer messages which can mean a reply takes a lot of time, some people are very much of the moment. They like to chat, meet, and done. Sometimes one half of the couple will initiate a conversation then the other half will come in and not get the same vibe from the couple. Some just like the attention with no intention  .
Being part of a couples profile, and being a single female too, I generally find couple more difficult to interact with than single people. In a club or social setting it's easy, but trying to find a 4 way click online is hard. |
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It’s a common problem unless you want to chat endlessly. It just gets boring going around in circles. We have the most productive conversations when we’re actively looking to meet because it has an end point that everyone is discussing towards. We’re also clear about what we want and who or the type of people we want to meet. It isn’t for everyone but that’s cool, we appeal to people who match with us |
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