FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Best ways to say no
Best ways to say no
Jump to: Newest in thread
1. Read and delete
2. Read, set to unread and leave it at that
3. Don't read, delete
4. Reply with a polite "No, thanks"
5. Reply with something like "Not quite what we are looking for"
6. Reply with "We only find one of you attractive"
7. Something else
Personally, we are happy with no reply and if someone deletes a message, it is a sign to either add a note or block and move on.
We don't want to appear rude by not replying but sometimes when we do, we get questions like "can you explain why we are not suited"
What's everyone preference regarding receiving and dishing rejection !!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you wish, reply with "thanks, but no, thanks" or similar and block, saves the "oh, why don't you give me a try" pleading messages or abuse. Or just block and delete straight away if you're not interested or the message is vile. If you just delete, or reply and delete, they can still message you in the future. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *enelope2UWoman 24 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"1. Read and delete
2. Read, set to unread and leave it at that
3. Don't read, delete
4. Reply with a polite "No, thanks"
5. Reply with something like "Not quite what we are looking for"
6. Reply with "We only find one of you attractive"
7. Something else
Personally, we are happy with no reply and if someone deletes a message, it is a sign to either add a note or block and move on.
We don't want to appear rude by not replying but sometimes when we do, we get questions like "can you explain why we are not suited"
What's everyone preference regarding receiving and dishing rejection !!!"
Block... all other messages get nowhere because most dont read or comprehend written statements. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Don't really see a need for a " only find 1 of you attractive" message , if you're not interested they don't really need to know that , we just normally say thanks for message but we wouldn't be looking to meet and wish them luck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We reply to all if not for us tell them so manners cost nothing,treat others as you like to be treated is out opinion,but we often just get ignored lol"
Are you aware that if you reply to someone and then later change your message filters the filter will not work on them as you have interacted with them previously. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For us it's read and just leave it if they obviously havnt even read our profile. Tried polite responses but the toxicity we got back was horrible so now we Dont bother even replying to the obvious chancers |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We reply to all if not for us tell them so manners cost nothing,treat others as you like to be treated is out opinion,but we often just get ignored lol"
We will reply to a polite thought out message unless it’s clear that our profile has been ignored. However messages saying “meet now” or overtly sexual messages we generally delete without a reply. It’s amazing how quickly you can go from a Goddess to a stuck up fat bitch 🙈🤣 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aandLoCouple 24 weeks ago
Southampton |
"1. Read and delete
2. Read, set to unread and leave it at that
3. Don't read, delete
4. Reply with a polite "No, thanks"
5. Reply with something like "Not quite what we are looking for"
6. Reply with "We only find one of you attractive"
7. Something else
Personally, we are happy with no reply and if someone deletes a message, it is a sign to either add a note or block and move on.
We don't want to appear rude by not replying but sometimes when we do, we get questions like "can you explain why we are not suited"
What's everyone preference regarding receiving and dishing rejection !!!"
A decent message gets a tactful 'not looking to connect now.' which I suppose is either No. 4 or No.7
A lazy 1-2 word message is No.1
We'd never use No. 6 as it's unnecessarily cruel in our opinion. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Spend as much time on the reply as the sender did sending the original message. So for one word messages or obvious cut and paste paragraphs, instant delete. Same goes for people who obviously never bothered reading our profile. Rude, presumptuous or just damn right inappropriate first messages, delete and block. Civil, courteous and intelligent messages get a response even if it's a "no thanks". |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Whats wrong with no thanks it’s quick and simple and more importantly polite after all some do make the effort to write a nice message for me to just delete it and block is ignorant and lazy that’s why I always try and say something back if they come back to you with abuse block and report |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enelope2UWoman 24 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"Whats wrong with no thanks it’s quick and simple and more importantly polite after all some do make the effort to write a nice message for me to just delete it and block is ignorant and lazy that’s why I always try and say something back if they come back to you with abuse block and report "
Because its ignorant and lazy to message without reading a profile so why offer further courtesy when a message isnt appropriate or is obviosly a waste of time.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *entenTeaCouple 24 weeks ago
Buckley North Wales |
It depends on the message. If, they have clearly not bothered to read our profile, then used text speak and have appalling grammar. Our reaction could be positively acerbic.
Sometimes, we will just say no thanks.
Or just: read, ignore and delete. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ickD80Man 23 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
If you read the message and don’t reply then they get the message, there’s no need to reply saying ‘no thanks’ or anything like that. Personally, i don’t get many replies so when i do get a notification telling me i’ve got a reply it gets my hopes up and 9 times out of 10 it’s followed by crushing disappointment when i see that it’s a message saying they’re not interested. The level of disappointment and feeling of rejection is much less when there isn’t a reply at all rather than a not interested reply. Maybe even say in your profile that no reply to a message is a polite ‘no thanks’ so then the people who bother to read your profile will know the craic.
Reading and then marking it unread is the worst thing you can do because then it just feels like you’re ignoring them and no one likes to be ignored. After i send a message i keep checking to see if it’s been read and while it’s unread there’s still hope that it could be one of the few messages that receives a positive response. While the message remains unread the hope remains but if you read a message and then mark it unread you’re initially giving people false hope and eventually making them feel ignored and irrelevant. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you read the message and don’t reply then they get the message, there’s no need to reply saying ‘no thanks’ or anything like that. Personally, i don’t get many replies so when i do get a notification telling me i’ve got a reply it gets my hopes up and 9 times out of 10 it’s followed by crushing disappointment when i see that it’s a message saying they’re not interested. The level of disappointment and feeling of rejection is much less when there isn’t a reply at all rather than a not interested reply. Maybe even say in your profile that no reply to a message is a polite ‘no thanks’ so then the people who bother to read your profile will know the craic.
Reading and then marking it unread is the worst thing you can do because then it just feels like you’re ignoring them and no one likes to be ignored. After i send a message i keep checking to see if it’s been read and while it’s unread there’s still hope that it could be one of the few messages that receives a positive response. While the message remains unread the hope remains but if you read a message and then mark it unread you’re initially giving people false hope and eventually making them feel ignored and irrelevant. "
We use the mark as unread option as we aren’t always online at the same time so it helps us keep track of messages so we can read and answer them together |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We are very new to Fab, and to be honest we get a lot of picture hunters or people that won’t show their face until we just stop speaking.
There has to be some sort of mutual attraction, but when it comes to boundaries being crossed or pushy people, we simply say “I’m sorry, I don’t think you are for us”.
Seems to work, although some people get really angry about that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It depends.
On the couple profile we don't get many messages. If it's someone we don't know and chat with and we're not interested we send usually say something like, "thanks for the message but you're not what we're looking for. All the best".
On this profile the responses vary depending on my mood and the nature of the initial message.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By * and BCouple 23 weeks ago
Durham |
"We reply to all if not for us tell them so manners cost nothing,treat others as you like to be treated is out opinion,but we often just get ignored lol
Are you aware that if you reply to someone and then later change your message filters the filter will not work on them as you have interacted with them previously. "
That's where the block button comes into action. You said no thanks, which we do or state they didn't read our profile, if they continue to ask why and all that.... Push that button, woohoo job done  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't think it matters
You will always offend folks
If you read a message and get in with your day you get, what do you think. I'm processing what I want to do.
Delete no reply id rude apparently
No thanks not my type is rude
So I deal with each message individually
If I read a dirty disgusting message I just delete. I wish deleted without being read was still an update. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Personally as a single gent I prefer to be told thanks but no thanks. I'm a grown up and can accept I'm not everyones cup of tea. But I completely understand ignore and delete as from what I've heard alot of men can't handle rejection and get abusive. Twats. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
