FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Safety checks against Sex Offenders
Safety checks against Sex Offenders
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On another form of social media, Fab has been getting a lot of bad press in some groups that are disclosing Sex Offenders and Domestic Violence offenders.
If the information is correct, there seems to be a lot of fab profiles that have a history of these offences. So as a single women who is trying to explore this lifestyle in the safest possible way, how do you vet people you are trying to meet?
I often question if Fabswingers.com should be doing more checks to make joining the site more safe? I don't know what those checks could be other than Identification checks I guess, but I imagine that's going to put a lot of swingers off.
I'm just wondering what everyone's thoughts are and if anyone has any advice on keeping safe on this site?
Or if anyone has any insight to how fabswingers handle the issue of sex offenders on the site?
Peace and love always
Clem |
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I'm only going to address the point of women's own personal safety...there are never any guarantees when meeting strangers online, all we can do is take sensible precautions. I don't think it's feasible for the site to do more |
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I think the safest place to meet is clubs with a strict membership policy. Then you know everyone inside has provided official ID. Any issue at all if you feel uncomfortable you can report to the management and they will take swift action. |
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Yes be carefull and trust your instinct it’s usually right
But a safer way would be to attend organised social that are on the forums it’s a safer way to meet in a group environment and also lots of fun just socialising before deciding if someone takes your fancy x
Only a suggestion as that’s what we used to do x |
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"What checks would you be prepared to be subject to op? Would you pay for and provide an enhanced DBS to a free to join swingers site?
"
I have a DBS check done for my work so would be fine providing that information. I also have joined other apps / sites in the swinging lifestyle that requires a copy of identification to join. ( They also have a free option and a premium option like fabswingers do. )
If it meant that I knew everyone I was speaking too had some firm of check done when joining the sure I absolute would provide information and if it meant paying a joining fee for some guarantee of safety I would too.
Ultimately being kept away from sex offenders is priceless. |
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"What checks would you be prepared to be subject to op? Would you pay for and provide an enhanced DBS to a free to join swingers site?
"
Ian Huntley changed his name before applying for the caretakers job so his past offences didn't come to light on his DBS check. |
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"What checks would you be prepared to be subject to op? Would you pay for and provide an enhanced DBS to a free to join swingers site?
Ian Huntley changed his name before applying for the caretakers job so his past offences didn't come to light on his DBS check. "
That's so terrifying. Is there a way of knowing previous names on identification like passports and driving licence? |
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"What checks would you be prepared to be subject to op? Would you pay for and provide an enhanced DBS to a free to join swingers site?
Ian Huntley changed his name before applying for the caretakers job so his past offences didn't come to light on his DBS check. "
Yes he did and DBS checks won't find people with no record or who have yet to commit a crime |
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"What checks would you be prepared to be subject to op? Would you pay for and provide an enhanced DBS to a free to join swingers site?
I have a DBS check done for my work so would be fine providing that information. I also have joined other apps / sites in the swinging lifestyle that requires a copy of identification to join. ( They also have a free option and a premium option like fabswingers do. )
If it meant that I knew everyone I was speaking too had some firm of check done when joining the sure I absolute would provide information and if it meant paying a joining fee for some guarantee of safety I would too.
Ultimately being kept away from sex offenders is priceless. "
There is no joining fee that could guarantee safety. |
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https://m.fabswingers.com/content/safer-meets.html
Here is the site advice about safer meets.
It does mention asking for id if you have doubts.
Personally I think as adults we need to take steps to protect ourselves |
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"https://m.fabswingers.com/content/safer-meets.html
Here is the site advice about safer meets.
It does mention asking for id if you have doubts.
Personally I think as adults we need to take steps to protect ourselves "
Thank you for that information and yes I take steps to try and protect myself ( which is why I've written this post. ) I was merely asking if the site could be doing more to prevent sex offenders joining. As it seems I'm not the only person with these concerns.
|
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"https://m.fabswingers.com/content/safer-meets.html
Here is the site advice about safer meets.
It does mention asking for id if you have doubts.
Personally I think as adults we need to take steps to protect ourselves
Thank you for that information and yes I take steps to try and protect myself ( which is why I've written this post. ) I was merely asking if the site could be doing more to prevent sex offenders joining. As it seems I'm not the only person with these concerns.
"
Admin would be the ones to ask about that, there's a site feedback section or you can contact them directly from the contact button at the bottom of the page.
This is my personal opinion. This is a free to use swingers site so probably not the place to seek out back ground checked partners. |
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"https://m.fabswingers.com/content/safer-meets.html
Here is the site advice about safer meets.
It does mention asking for id if you have doubts.
Personally I think as adults we need to take steps to protect ourselves
Thank you for that information and yes I take steps to try and protect myself ( which is why I've written this post. ) I was merely asking if the site could be doing more to prevent sex offenders joining. As it seems I'm not the only person with these concerns.
Admin would be the ones to ask about that, there's a site feedback section or you can contact them directly from the contact button at the bottom of the page.
This is my personal opinion. This is a free to use swingers site so probably not the place to seek out back ground checked partners. "
So it's just a case of accepting that if you use this site you could be with a sex offender or domestic abuse offender?
Something just doesn't sit right with me. If they can charge a premium service for seeing who's looked at your profile surely they can charge a premium service fir a more thorough filtering system of better verified and checked profiles? |
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"https://m.fabswingers.com/content/safer-meets.html
Here is the site advice about safer meets.
It does mention asking for id if you have doubts.
Personally I think as adults we need to take steps to protect ourselves
Thank you for that information and yes I take steps to try and protect myself ( which is why I've written this post. ) I was merely asking if the site could be doing more to prevent sex offenders joining. As it seems I'm not the only person with these concerns.
Admin would be the ones to ask about that, there's a site feedback section or you can contact them directly from the contact button at the bottom of the page.
This is my personal opinion. This is a free to use swingers site so probably not the place to seek out back ground checked partners.
So it's just a case of accepting that if you use this site you could be with a sex offender or domestic abuse offender?
Something just doesn't sit right with me. If they can charge a premium service for seeing who's looked at your profile surely they can charge a premium service fir a more thorough filtering system of better verified and checked profiles? "
That's something you would need to bring up with admin |
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An unusual thread for this site.
There are numerous sites where court reports and pictures are tabulated for easy, relatively accurate reading although I won't mention links here. PM me if you wish to know more. |
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From a personal perspective, Northern Ireland is a pretty small place, and the network of women here are good at keeping each other informed about those who are publicly reported offenders. It's not perfect but it's something.
As already pointed out, no check will ever catch anyone who hasn't yet offended so all we can do is mitigate as best we can. It's not foolproof but I don't think anything can be. I look at it exactly the same as anyone I'd meet away from this site.
And I say all this as someone who literally had to fight a guy from here off me, but also experienced the same 30 years ago from someone I considered a friend. |
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By *enelope2UWoman 17 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"What checks would you be prepared to be subject to op? Would you pay for and provide an enhanced DBS to a free to join swingers site?
I have a DBS check done for my work so would be fine providing that information. I also have joined other apps / sites in the swinging lifestyle that requires a copy of identification to join. ( They also have a free option and a premium option like fabswingers do. )
If it meant that I knew everyone I was speaking too had some firm of check done when joining the sure I absolute would provide information and if it meant paying a joining fee for some guarantee of safety I would too.
Ultimately being kept away from sex offenders is priceless. "
It's the standard in the USA swinging groups as is testing and proper vetting. Our lifestyle is real therefore intentional...it's just for fantasy and pretend here so not real...but very valid points. |
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By *dwalu2Couple 17 weeks ago
Bristol |
"On another form of social media, Fab has been getting a lot of bad press in some groups that are disclosing Sex Offenders and Domestic Violence offenders.
If the information is correct, there seems to be a lot of fab profiles that have a history of these offences. So as a single women who is trying to explore this lifestyle in the safest possible way, how do you vet people you are trying to meet?
I often question if Fabswingers.com should be doing more checks to make joining the site more safe? I don't know what those checks could be other than Identification checks I guess, but I imagine that's going to put a lot of swingers off.
I'm just wondering what everyone's thoughts are and if anyone has any advice on keeping safe on this site?
Or if anyone has any insight to how fabswingers handle the issue of sex offenders on the site?
Peace and love always
Clem "
At the very least, you should disclose any information like this to Fab’s admins - let them then make an informed decision on those profiles. |
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We would like to see an option of a DBS check that could be shown on a profile as DBS check active and clear, but this would require admin to be willing.
Upto people to get it individually, then if they wish to do it, provide admin the DBS check and once confirmed can be added to their profile.
There are no guarantees as obviously its only correct that an individual hasn't been caught for something but is another step in being careful that should then also be searchable. |
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By *lybynightWoman 16 weeks ago
visiting various Wales. .. and Daresbury |
Use due diligence.
Meet in a public place.
I am over cautious, I wouldn't even meet in public without knowing their real name.
If you have evidence of theor behaviour(newspaper reports of convictions, or messages from them) and report it to admins, they will take a look, and act on it.
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"We would like to see an option of a DBS check that could be shown on a profile as DBS check active and clear, but this would require admin to be willing.
Upto people to get it individually, then if they wish to do it, provide admin the DBS check and once confirmed can be added to their profile.
There are no guarantees as obviously its only correct that an individual hasn't been caught for something but is another step in being careful that should then also be searchable."
DBS checks are out of date the moment they are issued. They are just a snapshot in time. What would a DBS show anyway? Ra pe reporting is ridiculously low and the conviction rate even lower. The same for domestic violence, not to mention stalking and coercive control. It will likely lead to a false sense of security. Look a people like Saville, the lost Prophets dude, the Chinese date rapist last year etc. how much did they get away with before they were convicted?
We’re adults. We need to be responsible for our own safety and risk profiles. We have agency and can act accordingly. Outsourcing our responsibilities and checking is inappropriate given the activities IMO. |
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"We would like to see an option of a DBS check that could be shown on a profile as DBS check active and clear, but this would require admin to be willing.
Upto people to get it individually, then if they wish to do it, provide admin the DBS check and once confirmed can be added to their profile.
There are no guarantees as obviously its only correct that an individual hasn't been caught for something but is another step in being careful that should then also be searchable.
DBS checks are out of date the moment they are issued. They are just a snapshot in time. What would a DBS show anyway? Ra pe reporting is ridiculously low and the conviction rate even lower. The same for domestic violence, not to mention stalking and coercive control. It will likely lead to a false sense of security. Look a people like Saville, the lost Prophets dude, the Chinese date rapist last year etc. how much did they get away with before they were convicted?
We’re adults. We need to be responsible for our own safety and risk profiles. We have agency and can act accordingly. Outsourcing our responsibilities and checking is inappropriate given the activities IMO."
If signed up to the enhanced DBS check with update service there are frequent updates i believe. So not such a 'snapshot'. In no way does it solve everything but it does give another layer of protection when doing your due diligence checks.
Also of course, I did say optional.
Anyone could feel free to not engage with it. |
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"l
If signed up to the enhanced DBS check with update service there are frequent updates i believe. So not such a 'snapshot'. In no way does it solve everything but it does give another layer of protection when doing your due diligence checks.
Also of course, I did say optional.
Anyone could feel free to not engage with it."
I am enhance checked annually and for every new client due to my work. Sadly, it’s a manual check and snapshot in time, as the paperwork and getting the ID checked has to be repeated every time. I appreciate what you’re looking for, but it’s just not realistic. Sadly. Look at the backlogs for Clare’s Law DVDS service. I appreciate you’re trying to find solutions, sadly it’s such a complex issue, I’m not sure there is one other than avoidance/abstinence. |
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For everyone saying implement DBS checks... Standard and enhanced DBS checks can only be applied for if it's related to a job working with vulnerable people. Therefore this site cannot apply for them for it's members (who aren't employees) and neither can individuals do it via the self employed route.
A basic DBS check which anyone can apply for won't provide the assurances people seek.
Vulnerable people already have other legitimate routes to background check a new romantic partner. |
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We don't have to meet anywhere alone, with public meetings being recommended.
When we're to have sex with others, we can meet in supervised accommodation, such as hotels or clubs. It's possible to have guests to a hotel check in, including giving ID. They will also have CCTV, taking their pics. Hotel security will also accompany people to your room, if you like. I've had all of those followed occasionally.
You can also have a safety buddy check in with you.
We have to use and work around the situations as they are. A woman is generally going to be in a more physically vulnerable situation with a man, however she gets to know him.
As Sally and others point out, clubs give us even more potential security controls and safety measures.
I think Fab membership would decline a lot,if people had to provide government issue ID and it might give a false sense of security too if they did. Most of us will get harmed by people who know us, rather than strangers, I think. |
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"For everyone saying implement DBS checks... Standard and enhanced DBS checks can only be applied for if it's related to a job working with vulnerable people. Therefore this site cannot apply for them for it's members (who aren't employees) and neither can individuals do it via the self employed route.
A basic DBS check which anyone can apply for won't provide the assurances people seek.
Vulnerable people already have other legitimate routes to background check a new romantic partner."
I don't think people are aware of what's involved in the assessment, storage and admin involved in DBS checking. |
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"
I don't think people are aware of what's involved in the assessment, storage and admin involved in DBS checking. "
I also don't think they are really aware of what it is or the data confidentiality requirements around it either. Even offenders have some rights to privacy around their past history, it isn't something that just anyone can look up.
A website like this is never going to qualify for access and nor should it. And it's not something that can just be added in like the photo verified tick. DBS is a much more 'serious' system with a very specific safeguarding remit.
I think the best resource on here for getting a "feel" for a profile is reading their verifications, it's not perfect but in our experience as a couple the verifications usually match the people pretty closely when you actually meet them. |
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"
I don't think people are aware of what's involved in the assessment, storage and admin involved in DBS checking.
I also don't think they are really aware of what it is or the data confidentiality requirements around it either. Even offenders have some rights to privacy around their past history, it isn't something that just anyone can look up.
A website like this is never going to qualify for access and nor should it. And it's not something that can just be added in like the photo verified tick. DBS is a much more 'serious' system with a very specific safeguarding remit.
"
Yep. There's a lot of misinformation surrounding these checks and a lot of misplaced confidence placed in people who have them.
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I would guess that the only truly safe meeting place would be in a club with a good membership protocol in place.
I cannot see that any other situation would safeguard a business safety in the same way |
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"I am DBS checked though I've heard that there are people who know how to get around these checks.
I'm not sure how true that is."
No system is perfect but they increase barriers, a little like anti theft devices - won't stop someone who's very determined but will put off many |
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First meet is in a club, I specify that I am unlikely to play on that initial meet.
This does two things, the price tag for single males to get into a club, put alot of chances off, and saying I'm unlikely to play the first meet s some out too. Now if it goes well and I like them I probably would but...
I generally run a reverse image search on a face pic, and never give personal details. |
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And ppl wonder why I insist my hubby accompanies me .
ALL my initial meets are in clubs, then and ONLY then might that progress to something more.
I'm sorry but there really are some freaks out there & I always encourage other women to take thier personal security very seriously.
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By *ugby 123Couple 16 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I am wary of "groups" disclosing that others are sex offenders. One comment I saw named a man as a sex offended because he had asked her for sex.
I wonder what the site that expects real ID's do once they have it? What will they check against it and where? ( genuine question )
Anyone who is a convicted sex offender wouldn't be allowed on the site. It would help Admin if people report if they know of someone.
Section 8 T&C's
c) you have been convicted of any offence, or subject to any court order, relating to assault, violence, sexual misconduct, harassment or dishonesty. Any breach of this clause is a serious breach of this agreement. |
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By *ugby 123Couple 16 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
https://www.fabswingers.com/articles/FAQ
Safer Meeting
Don't forget that the only person responsible for your safety is you, so don't put yourself in a dangerous situation or a situation where a stranger can let you down.
Remember that Fab does not perform background checks and while meeting a long time verified account may be less risky, it does not guarantee it.
These are some tips to help meet more safely:
* DO: Always meet somewhere safe and public (e.g. a cafe).
* DO: Always tell someone you trust who you're going to meet, when and where.
* DO: Always meet socially before taking things further.
* DO: Respect your health and that of others, see the resources on our sexual health page.
* Don't give strangers your personal details (e.g. address, place of work, phone number)
* Don't rely on strangers for transport, so don't go in a car with someone you don't know.
* Meeting new accounts without verification is more risky more likely to lead to disappointment.
* Don't turn up to strange addresses without having met the people you're expecting, first, beforehand.
* Don't meet while affected by alcohol or drugs. Similarly, don't meet anyone who appears to be affected by alcohol or drugs.
* If in any doubt, ask to see proof of age and ID.
* Don't arrange meets without having spoken to the people you're expecting to meet first on phone OR on seen on cam.
* Don't invite strangers into your home.
* Don't put yourself in a situation where if someone doesn't turn up, you'll be upset. So don't travel 100s of miles and book into a hotel in the expectation of meeting someone unless you've met them beforehand. |
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"And ppl wonder why I insist my hubby accompanies me .
ALL my initial meets are in clubs, then and ONLY then might that progress to something more.
I'm sorry but there really are some freaks out there & I always encourage other women to take thier personal security very seriously.
"
Not every woman has a husband to take along as some kind of safety net. |
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It's also been popular to team up with other Fab people, who can help monitor your safety, including making texts or calls to you,or even observing who you meet at a bar or café, from afar. I've had neighbours in the past, who kept a watch out and checked in.
It's possible that some women especially might benefit from another forum post, asking for meet safety buddies. |
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Superb thread, kudos OP for raising a very important discussion. A lot of sane advice from across the Fab community 
Living in a hotel whilst completing an 18-month assignment and got to know several others who were also regulars. One guy was very friendly, had an amazing past as a roadie with some very famous bands, had stories and pictures to illustrate his tales.
Only problem, he was a sex-offender, on the run from two warrants, had vaulted the dock, ran from his last court appearance and was living in plain site amongst us, fake name, fake past, literally fake everything; you’d never have known and we all stopped dead when the hotel was raided by armed police in the dead of night! |
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I do my own vetting process, it's like meeting anyone really either online or you come across them in person at a supermarket. You have no idea who they're, there are a lot of variables to meeting anyone.
Online it is easier to hide aspects of yourself for sure so again it's about being aware, being vigilant, not ignoring what you deem are red flags. Arranging a social in a public place, maybe only meeting them the first time in a club or a hotel instead of your home or theirs.
There are always risks though.
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The problem with a DBS its only really valid on the day it was issued. I know of a college lecturer, who had been teaching for over 10 years, police arrived at the college one day and he was removed from a class, subsequently convicted of sex crimes and jailed, but no one knew how long he had been offending |
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I don't think Fab should be. However I think there should be greater awareness of the risks out there. Then people will be more aware either to be more careful or chose if they want to use a different safer platform (if that's a thing). I say make people more aware and let them vote with their feet what platform they want to use.
I must admit as a single guy on here I was surprised how many single women would just let you round to their house while their home alone without knowing you. At the end of the day their adults and obviously I wasn't complaining but I was surprised. Although on the other hand it felt like a real compliment they'd feel so safe with me to do that. Clearly I wasn't throwing up red flags.
Mr |
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"I don't think Fab should be. However I think there should be greater awareness of the risks out there. Then people will be more aware either to be more careful or chose if they want to use a different safer platform (if that's a thing). I say make people more aware and let them vote with their feet what platform they want to use.
I must admit as a single guy on here I was surprised how many single women would just let you round to their house while their home alone without knowing you. At the end of the day their adults and obviously I wasn't complaining but I was surprised. Although on the other hand it felt like a real compliment they'd feel so safe with me to do that. Clearly I wasn't throwing up red flags.
Mr"
I think people are aware of the possible risks and dangers of meeting strangers from a web site but choose to continue. I think it's been mentioned twice at least that there's a section here on safety but still you see people asking for lifts, giving their home address, giving personal information, posting easily identifiable photos. I'm not victim blaming but if people are asking for others to take responsibility in part for their safety then they should also look at what they're doing to mitigate risk. |
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It’s impossible to police as there are many people that haven’t done it yet but would be about to or haven’t been reported or found out. I do agree there are lots of people that do have a criminal record but to be able to find that out with out breaking data protection it’s not going to work. I think you need to just use common sense, meet in public places to start if you are concerned and make sure you stay as safe as you can, the thing with the internet is they could be anyone ! |
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I dont think youve done anything wrong by highlighting common sense and realistic danger.
Pretty sure we've all experienced some form of weirdness on here.. and care should be applied online as much as real life.
Be safe and well |
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I think there's an increasing expectation that "someone else" should make the world safe for us. While each individual step may seem reasonable in itself, we end up drowning in bureaucracy.
And we don't seem any safer as a result.
If Fab insisted on DBS checking, it would probably just kill itself as a site, and open the door to another competitor who didn't insist on it. It would be just like Fab insisting on STI checks.
The reality is that if you indulge in casual sex you are at risk of meeting a sex offender, and no-one can totally remove that risk. Giving false feelings of security doesn't help anyone.
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i would pay to be part of a scene thats dbs checked it would be worth the money but lets be clean men and women are not always caught way way more than those who do get caught and one of the biggest threats to this scene is the incel movements and the womans version too Femcels(very scary) ...
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"In response to some comments saying I'm asking fab to vet for me, absolutely not. I was merely asking for advice on keeping safe and bringing attention to a bit of a grey area in this scene. "
F I am getting into a guys/couples car or am meeting them at there home, I send a photos of the or the front of the house to a friend, then ring him after 30 mins to say I am safe |
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"i would pay to be part of a scene thats dbs checked it would be worth the money but lets be clean men and women are not always caught way way more than those who do get caught and one of the biggest threats to this scene is the incel movements and the womans version too Femcels(very scary) ...
What's a femcel and why are they a threat?
"
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"We would like to see an option of a DBS check that could be shown on a profile as DBS check active and clear, but this would require admin to be willing.
Upto people to get it individually, then if they wish to do it, provide admin the DBS check and once confirmed can be added to their profile.
There are no guarantees as obviously its only correct that an individual hasn't been caught for something but is another step in being careful that should then also be searchable.
DBS checks are out of date the moment they are issued. They are just a snapshot in time. What would a DBS show anyway? Ra pe reporting is ridiculously low and the conviction rate even lower. The same for domestic violence, not to mention stalking and coercive control. It will likely lead to a false sense of security. Look a people like Saville, the lost Prophets dude, the Chinese date rapist last year etc. how much did they get away with before they were convicted?
We’re adults. We need to be responsible for our own safety and risk profiles. We have agency and can act accordingly. Outsourcing our responsibilities and checking is inappropriate given the activities IMO."
Subscribe to the DBS update service, both standard and enhanced checks can be seen at a glance if there are any new issues |
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Unfortunately it's part and parcel of here and many traditional dating sites.
We all have to take some steps to ensure our personal safety, I know some sites do promote they screen for this kinda thing however I'm unsure how they possibly could.
Entering ID would be a basic step forward so any issues with anyone could lead to them being identified but it still wouldn't prevent previous convicted people joining.
As much as I'd love a safe space & I am a member of these group so see it a lot I don't see how it's possible.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago
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I think if there was a membership fee or added cost to cover the extra administrative expenses for cbs checks it would also cut down the amount of time wasters and fake profiles too. In turn would make fab a lot more efficient and enjoyable. |
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Jeeze look at all the fuss and complaints about the porn change's with providing ID !!
So providing the level of information required for a DBS would not be welcomed.
However I'm all for it, we have nothing to hide and it's a requirement for both our Jobs.
It would definitely filter out the times wasters, odd balls, cheater's and Nair do well's.
But I'd imagine the membership would drastically decline instantly.
My concerns would be to whome would we provide our information and how would the site know it's actually us logging in??
Too many loopholes for it to work.
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Should we have DBS checks to go on Tinder, or Bumble? What if you meet someone in the supermarket and hit it off, would you want a DBS check before meeting for a coffee?
This site would not be able to run a DBS check on anyone, it's only for employers/volunteer organisations, and only when it's necessary to protect vulnerable groups.
I think being aware of the risks, and putting in safety measures in place if we're concerned is about all we can do. We can minimise the risks, but you're never going to eliminate them.
As other's have said, being part of a community of people is probably the best way, that way you're meeting someone who's already known to the group.
But again, that's no guarantee, there is no guarantee. |
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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
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As others have said, there's always an element of risk of meeting internet strangers.
Personally, I now very rarely meet at their place, due to a bad experience
I usually do hotels as they're neutral spaces with CCTV in the lobby, or at sex clubs.
I find that usually in the first 3 minutes of chat you can tell if the guy is "off" or okay.
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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
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Having said that, one of the most popular London clubs for tgirls and admirers is sweet wednesday in kings cross,
I know several of the girls feel uncomfortable by the behaviour of one of the guys (doesn't take no for an answer, very pushy, very touchy) but so far noone has filed a formal complaint
So even clubs carry some risk |
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I personally only meet first at clubs and always have done. I don’t do socials.
Doesn’t totally eliminate the risks, but for me, reduces them to an acceptable level.
More people around and staff.
That being said, I’ve met a well verified guy in a club and arranged 1:1 with him, he’d met mutual friends and attended lots of parties. Only for it to be awful and abusive. So it’s not a fail safe.
Bit like safe sex, doesn’t exist. Just safer.
Someone always knows where I am if I date or on the odd occasion 1:1 meet. No one gets my address. Hotel always booked in my name.
I don’t think the site can do anything more to protect people. It’s always one word against another if informal and the site would just close if it had to pay for further security measures imo. I don’t think it would work either. Where there’s a will there’s a way. |
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"Jeeze look at all the fuss and complaints about the porn change's with providing ID !!
So providing the level of information required for a DBS would not be welcomed.
However I'm all for it, we have nothing to hide and it's a requirement for both our Jobs.
It would definitely filter out the times wasters, odd balls, cheater's and Nair do well's.
But I'd imagine the membership would drastically decline instantly.
My concerns would be to whome would we provide our information and how would the site know it's actually us logging in??
Too many loopholes for it to work.
"
Agree with this.
Who is responsible for that data… and the cost and legal responsibilities that comes with…isn’t cheap.
Clubs check id on first attendance, some even take a copy. It’s nice to know someone knows the real details of who’s there, but if they were dangerous you wouldn’t know from their name or ID. |
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Now here is my take on this popular or not here it is.
The sentiment of the idea sounds ok but in reality there is a risk of demonising men who decline for whatever their reason do not feel comfortable dojng the dbs me personally if someone asked me hey you need a dbs check to join for example fab and the bloke then has to pay even more to join a club that are expensive for men that would not solve the concerns.
Clubs would not pay for the dbs it would cripple them financially.
For the record before I retired my jobs required dbs.
Now onto females would you pay for dbs to join a club?
I ask this because without doubt males tend to be the abusers but females do too.
I bring this up but when young all I will say it was a female who was the abuser.
That is not any sympathy or pity but a reality.
As I said earlier the sentiment about dbs is ok but cannot be gender specific I hope some of this makes some sense.
I tend to write as I talk which is straight to the point it can sometime be an issue tbh.
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By *ickD80Man 15 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
This is such an important topic but one that rarely gets discussed and I think that’s because there is absolutely no way of ensuring people’s safety when they’re meeting someone from the internet. If the people who run websites like this or dating apps allowed there to be an open and honest discussion about it people would realise exactly how much danger they’re putting themselves in and a large percentage of them would probably stop using them.
Saying that people need to be vigilant and trust their instincts isn’t fair on the genuine users because it’s putting the responsibility on them and therefore makes them feel like it’s their fault when something bad happens. I also think that most people do trust their instincts, if they instinctively don’t have a good feeling about someone they won’t meet them, but some offenders are very good at portraying a false image of themselves and making people trust them. The ones that we get bad vibes from are just the ones who aren’t very good at it.
Meeting someone in public first is a good way to minimise risk because if someone is intending to harm someone they won’t want to be seen in public with them directly before doing it, but it doesn’t remove risk altogether. Some offenders may be reckless and/or desperate enough not to care about being seen in public together or some may not actually have any bad intentions to start with but maybe after a few drinks or in the heat of the moment their intentions change, so they will be happy to meet in public first.
DBS checks only look at any prior convictions, so they only tell you whether the person has or hasn’t been caught and convicted for harming someone in the past. If someone has harmed people in the past and got away with it or if someone is intending to harm someone for the first time then they’d still pass a DBS check.
As for this site, i think if anything it puts users in more danger due to the ridiculous and worthless verification system. People here might feel safe meeting someone who has been verified by other users as safe and reliable, but there’s absolutely no proof that the verifications are real. It’s possible to verify someone without ever meeting them and not knowing anything about them. It’s also possible to get one account verified and then create multiple fake accounts and verify them all with the one original verified profile and then all verify the other profiles to get multiple verifications. Yes, it’s possible to spot fake verifications but again that’s putting all the responsibility on the genuine users. In my opinion there should be a stricter check to see if veris are real or the whole system removed altogether.
Meeting people off the internet is a risky thing to do but no more risky than meeting someone in a bar and going back to theirs at the end of the night. Every time we get in a car we’re putting ourselves at risk of getting harmed, walking down a quiet street at night is risky but we all do it. We even pay to get into a massive metal bird that could fall out of the sky and kill us instantly just for 10 days of sunny weather, so we take many risks during our lives. Life would be pretty boring and uneventful if we never did anything risky…. |
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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
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" It’s also possible to get one account verified and then create multiple fake accounts and verify them all with the one original verified profile and then all verify the other profiles to get multiple verifications. ."
This is madness / conspiracy theory level garbage
Everyone else uses and trusts the Veri system.
Nor suprise that you don't have any veris displayed yourself. |
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"To all the "clubs with membership" suggestions .... Is it likely to be beyond the means of your average convicted sex offender to produce some fake id? I doubt it"
There's never zero risk but clubs demand government issued ID, which would be much harder to produce and fake ID would be easier to spot, by people who are experienced in checking driving licence/passport documents. |
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By *ickD80Man 15 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
" It’s also possible to get one account verified and then create multiple fake accounts and verify them all with the one original verified profile and then all verify the other profiles to get multiple verifications. .
This is madness / conspiracy theory level garbage
Everyone else uses and trusts the Veri system.
Nor suprise that you don't have any veris displayed yourself. "
So are you saying that there aren’t any fake profiles or fake veris on this site?
If everyone uses and trusts the veri system then you’re proving my point perfectly because it’s a completely floored system that can be easily faked and manipulated, so anyone using it as a safety check is in danger.
If you honestly believe that saying people will create fake accounts and use fake veris is garbage and conspiracy theory then you’re either very naive and way too trusting or you have ulterior motives for convincing people to trust the veri system.
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"What checks would you be prepared to be subject to op? Would you pay for and provide an enhanced DBS to a free to join swingers site?
Ian Huntley changed his name before applying for the caretakers job so his past offences didn't come to light on his DBS check.
That's so terrifying. Is there a way of knowing previous names on identification like passports and driving licence? "
DBS checks are a joke they will only pick up things people have been caught for and not always then if deviant's have never been caught nothing will show up. There are no guarantees. Ive met people i thought id judged ok until the end of the meet when a knife was pulled out tha they had bright just incase as they were “nervous too” |
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" It’s also possible to get one account verified and then create multiple fake accounts and verify them all with the one original verified profile and then all verify the other profiles to get multiple verifications. .
This is madness / conspiracy theory level garbage
Everyone else uses and trusts the Veri system.
Nor suprise that you don't have any veris displayed yourself.
So are you saying that there aren’t any fake profiles or fake veris on this site?
If everyone uses and trusts the veri system then you’re proving my point perfectly because it’s a completely floored system that can be easily faked and manipulated, so anyone using it as a safety check is in danger.
If you honestly believe that saying people will create fake accounts and use fake veris is garbage and conspiracy theory then you’re either very naive and way too trusting or you have ulterior motives for convincing people to trust the veri system.
"
It happens (and is easy to spot) but, in my view, it's isolated and not widespread.
I'm also not entirely convinced many people use it as a measure of safety - more a guage of how likely the person is to actually show up. Veris, like everything, are just one element that people have the option of using in deciding whether to meet someone. No-one should be using them solely as a guarantee of safety no more than if there was some method of formal check such as DBS. Even if the verification system was changed to ensure that two people did actually meet, how would that improve safety? Like you said yourself, no-one is an offender until they actually offend, nor would it pick up a previous offender who hadn't been caught and/or convicted. |
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By *rego69Man 15 weeks ago
Chelmsford |
With the amount of accidental disclosures of people’s data would you really want your DBS done for your job in Healthcare or Education to be linked to access to a site with material and activity experiences on this site.
Imagine the people you would last wish to be in charge, gaining control of data and a political drive for release of that data. We have all seen in the press that redaction of the innocent has been compromised in a head long chase for the potentially implicated. |
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I'll start by saying that I don't even know what DBS is as it's not something I've ever come across.
In regards to social media pages outing others I would be curious to know what checks are done on those making the accusations because there is a very good reason that naming and shaming isn't allowed on fab.
I've seen people having their lives destroyed on Facebook through totally false and non sexual related accusations so I can only imagine the impact of more serious finger pointing.
In saying all that though I have been in fab related chat groups and seen men removed for following a number of women home from social meets.
I've also seen other women leave those groups in protest because the guy was hot and couldn't possibly have done that!!
I'm aware of one of those guys doing maintenance work in another fabbers home and bringing his FB in to fuck when the home owner was out.
A few years later another forum user detailed this exact same scenario happening in her home so I can only assume it was the same man.
I'm not sure how background checks would highlight behaviour like that. |
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"I'll start by saying that I don't even know what DBS is as it's not something I've ever come across.
In regards to social media pages outing others I would be curious to know what checks are done on those making the accusations because there is a very good reason that naming and shaming isn't allowed on fab.
I've seen people having their lives destroyed on Facebook through totally false and non sexual related accusations so I can only imagine the impact of more serious finger pointing.
In saying all that though I have been in fab related chat groups and seen men removed for following a number of women home from social meets.
I've also seen other women leave those groups in protest because the guy was hot and couldn't possibly have done that!!
I'm aware of one of those guys doing maintenance work in another fabbers home and bringing his FB in to fuck when the home owner was out.
A few years later another forum user detailed this exact same scenario happening in her home so I can only assume it was the same man.
I'm not sure how background checks would highlight behaviour like that. "
DBS is the same as Access NI here RB 😊 |
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"I'll start by saying that I don't even know what DBS is as it's not something I've ever come across.
In regards to social media pages outing others I would be curious to know what checks are done on those making the accusations because there is a very good reason that naming and shaming isn't allowed on fab.
I've seen people having their lives destroyed on Facebook through totally false and non sexual related accusations so I can only imagine the impact of more serious finger pointing.
In saying all that though I have been in fab related chat groups and seen men removed for following a number of women home from social meets.
I've also seen other women leave those groups in protest because the guy was hot and couldn't possibly have done that!!
I'm aware of one of those guys doing maintenance work in another fabbers home and bringing his FB in to fuck when the home owner was out.
A few years later another forum user detailed this exact same scenario happening in her home so I can only assume it was the same man.
I'm not sure how background checks would highlight behaviour like that.
DBS is the same as Access NI here RB 😊"
Thanks😁. I'm aware of Access NI but haven't had any dealings with it so I'm not sure what it involves either. |
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The database being used and marketed as a saftey feature is actually just a cleaner version of any S.O hunters page.
It is populated by local news reports and admits it is not always accurate, entries can be disputed.
It relys on members of the public to supply Police reports or news paper articles.
It can not capture all previous offenders!
Personaly I do not believe it should be marketed as a saftey check at all unless its an official Home Office administration system like DBS. Which isn't suitable request for dating sites due to costs of screening at basic level being £21.50 per person plus auditing by the ICO for sensitive data.
It also illegal to blanket check all "employees" without justification of why DBS clearence is required for the role. In short no dating service will ever DBS check its end users.
All dating services echo the same terms with regards to saftey, as many have mentioned online dating has always come with certain unknowns attached and you can't expect dating apps to take responsibility for the actions of its end users.
Fab clause 11 goes into some good depth on what you can and can't expect of the service provided. Its open and transparent.
"11.3 When arranging to meet others through our Service, you must take appropriate precautions and follow any safety guidelines on our Service. We cannot control what actually happens at such meetings which are at your own risk and are not our responsibility."
A "social media" that markets criminal screening but counters it in T&C's.
"14.9 You are responsible for your interactions with other users of the Services. You understand that we do not conduct criminal background checks on members or otherwise enquire into their backgrounds."
Same social media similar phrasing as Fab, and other dating sites.
"24. NO LIABILITY
24.1 We accept no liability for damages, loss, misconduct or illegal activity which takes place as a result of attending an event, club, private or social meet advertised or arranged via the Services Users take full responsibility of their own safety at all times."
A popular swipe right platform, reiterates they do not and will not background check users multiple times, oftern in bold and witj capital letters.
"10. Though ****** strives to encourage a respectful user experience, it is not responsible for the conduct of any user on or off the Service. You agree to use caution in all interactions with other users, particularly if you decide to communicate off the Service or meet in person."
The bottom line is we are responsible for our own saftey when it comes to online dating, regardless of what is advertised or marketed as saftey.
We as end users are aslo responsible to ensure we understand the limitations of what we can expect a service provider to do.
If its unlawful behaviour it is entirely down to the legal system to investigate and not the dating service.
We trust and use Fabs verification system by checking who has been verified and how. If we have ever had an issue we have found Fabs admin panel to more than helpful with advice. |
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By *corcherMan 15 weeks ago
Loughborough |
DBS checks are incredibly invasive, by their nature. Companies that do them are held to a high standard, because of the large amount of sensitive data they process. You can't guarantee every club, etc have the same protections in place. Would you really want Fab to store your address, previous addresses, mothers maiden name, passport, driving licence along side sexual kinks, nude photos, explicit message history?
They also only show where someone has stepped over the line. Creepy folks who get close to the line but have never been caught, won't show up.
It's also not about having nothing to hide. Most of us have nothing to hide. But I don't want some else getting access to all my info for ID fraud, to abuse me or my family, for revenge for some perceived slight, etc. |
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By *smfuncplCouple 14 weeks ago
WESTON SUPER MARE |
If the Mrs is meeting alone we only meet verified guys with at least two verifications and often message the people they have met, it’s amazing the honest answers you receive, this does not prove they are not offenders but helps stay safe and comfortable.
We have mets lots of genuine nice men on here. |
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