FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Common Red Flags That Make Genuine Meets Harder
Common Red Flags That Make Genuine Meets Harder
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By (user no longer on site) OP 14 weeks ago
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Common Red Flags That Make Genuine Meets Harder
(Community Awareness – Not Naming or Shaming)
This post isn’t about calling out individual profiles. It’s about highlighting recurring patterns that many long-standing members have noticed, which often lead to wasted time, frustration, and fewer genuine meets.
Any one point on its own might be innocent — but when several appear together, experience shows the chance of a real-world meet drops significantly.
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🚩 Red-Flag Patterns to Watch For
• Long-standing accounts with no verification
Profiles active for a year or more with no photo verification and no social verification, yet regularly “online now”. Most genuine users verify fairly quickly once active.
• Meet intent that doesn’t match logistics
For example:
• “Married guys only”
• “Cannot accommodate”
• “Cannot travel”
When stated requirements make a meet physically impossible, it’s usually not a genuine meet profile.
• Avoidance of verification when asked
Repeated excuses, deflection, or defensiveness when simple photo verification is suggested.
• So-called “self-verification”
Profiles claiming to be “verified” only because another account vouches for them — without proper FabSwingers photo verification. This isn’t platform verification and shouldn’t be treated as such.
• Linked or multiple accounts using the same photos
Identical images appearing across different profiles (sometimes different genders). This is a well-known pattern and strongly suggests non-genuine use.
• One account ‘verifying’ another owned by the same person
A known tactic where someone runs multiple accounts and uses one to legitimise another. This undermines trust and is not genuine verification.
• Interest-heavy profiles with no progression toward a meet
Explicit interests listed, but conversations never move toward practical details (availability, location, logistics).
• Pressure tactics
Rushing off-site chat, guilt-tripping when verification is mentioned, or pushing for pics early while avoiding anything verifiable.
• Geography inconsistencies
Claimed local location that doesn’t align with login patterns, language, or time references.
• Recycled or copy-paste bios
The same wording appearing across multiple profiles with only minor edits.
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✅ Practical Tips for Genuine Members
• Proper FabSwingers photo verification matters — it exists for a reason.
• Don’t invest time if hosting/travel logistics don’t align.
• Video chat alone isn’t proof, but refusal to verify is a signal.
• Trust patterns, not explanations.
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Genuine people do exist on the site — but recognising these red-flag patterns early helps protect everyone’s time and keeps the platform usable for those actually looking to meet.
If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck… it usually is.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 14 weeks ago
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As I’m on the Isle of Man, these patterns tend to be more noticeable simply because it’s a smaller community. Genuine fabbers do spot them over time, and occasional discussions happen as a result — more from experience than gossip. |
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A couples profile messaging you but it’s just the guy. I suppose that in of itself doesn’t bother me, I always assume (rightly or wrongly) I’m communicating with the mr half of a couple.
I guess no shows are always the most annoying. I think any meet you’ve got to assume a no show, so you don’t feel you’re wasting time - which is wild to me |
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"i see a lot of profiles that only joined a few hours/day ago and already verified but not visible....i find that to be a red flag"
I was meet verified by several people within hours of opening this profile. By those who already had met me on my couples profile and organisers of events I'd attended previously.
I'm also not photo verified, and yet... |
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i dont tell people what my red flags are as they are mine ... everyone will be different add in women will have more red flags than men ..
telling other what red flags /green flags are is pretty pointless as if its part of some golden rules for swinging but there are no golden rules never have been never will be tho some will make out there is... people will do things thier own way red pr green flags...
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Lol!
I trust nothing online.
Most of my meets are now at clubs and group socials.
Especially after I met a guy for a social at pub first and he tried to escalate it to shagging in my flat after.
Er no. It appears few people read profiles or they read it and then disregard everything on it.
I prefer meeting couples for a social first anyway.
Some couples just thing that I'll just pop over to any hotel they are stay at in London last minute. Err no.   some couples think that I've got a list of big black cock on stand by for them. Lol! Er no again. I'm not their unicorn or personal madame. |
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The biggest ones for me are:
A profile wording similar to
“I am a 45 year old woman and I would like to meet men” or similar wording with nothing else
On the site for over a year and no verifications
One verification but not displayed
The can’t accommodate/can’t travel thing
Pics that look too professional sometimes
No communication outside fab or on anything that requires an actual phone number
Ridiculous outlandish statements and requests
Just a few examples, not all of them a definitive indication in themselves, but a combination of such is usual a fake profile.
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"The biggest ones for me are:
A profile wording similar to
“I am a 45 year old woman and I would like to meet men” or similar wording with nothing else
On the site for over a year and no verifications
One verification but not displayed
The can’t accommodate/can’t travel thing
Pics that look too professional sometimes
No communication outside fab or on anything that requires an actual phone number
Ridiculous outlandish statements and requests
Just a few examples, not all of them a definitive indication in themselves, but a combination of such is usual a fake profile.
"
Ive been off and on this site over 12 years and very rarely give my phone number. I communicate on here just fine. That being a red flag for you is riduculous. |
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I don't think its a problem talking about red flags, but not offering any solutions when its easily avoided is.
I think a lot of people miss the message filters on here under account settings.
We block unverified accounts
Ages we're not interested in sexually. (Pre set in "looking for on account settings)
Profiles with no public photos.
Men, but wink or message profiles we like the look of to lift the filter.
We polightly ask if users will display their verifications, igonor those that don't.
You get long standing site Verifications with no meets because some people just want to look, or they joined and it isn't for them.
We generally have a rule of thumb, if they’re not verified in a year or haven't uploaded recent photos within 12 months, we'll offer a social before anything else.
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"I don't think its a problem talking about red flags, but not offering any solutions when its easily avoided is.
I think a lot of people miss the message filters on here under account settings.
We block unverified accounts
Ages we're not interested in sexually. (Pre set in "looking for on account settings)
Profiles with no public photos.
Men, but wink or message profiles we like the look of to lift the filter.
We polightly ask if users will display their verifications, igonor those that don't.
You get long standing site Verifications with no meets because some people just want to look, or they joined and it isn't for them.
We generally have a rule of thumb, if they’re not verified in a year or haven't uploaded recent photos within 12 months, we'll offer a social before anything else.
"
All of this!
Plus...hey! Not seen you around in AGES! |
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People should run their profile how they see for. If anyone viewing the profile isn’t happy with it, feel free to swerve. I find that these type of threads that almost try to coerce people to run their profile a certain way a bit of a red flag on their own.
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It sounds to me like people are giving you the brush off and it's easier to believe its everyone else's fault 
Because somebody doesn't match your requirements or doesn't want to organise a meet with you, does not make them disingenuous. |
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"i dont tell people what my red flags are as they are mine ... everyone will be different add in women will have more red flags than men ..
telling other what red flags /green flags are is pretty pointless as if its part of some golden rules for swinging but there are no golden rules never have been never will be tho some will make out there is... people will do things thier own way red pr green flags...
"
Exactly our thoughts well said |
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"Anyone else noticed the absolute irony of a thread about red flags made 7 days ago by a user no longer on this site?"
That’s because they likely used chat gpt to write their post and not a genuine swinger |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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Surely the meet verification shouldn't be a red flag. After all you have to be verified by a verified member. Bit cult like inner circle controlling who you meet |
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I disagree with the first few.
My couple profile isn't photo verified, but we are definitely genuine. This one is only photo verified because I had to.
It's really easy to fake and isn't at all important to me.
People use the site for different things. Not everyone feels the need to get verified.
Some people travel a lot so their current location won't match that on their profile. I don't update it if I'm not at home. |
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"To me having a very detailed profile with a lot of caveats , assumptions, exclusions , conditions , is a big red flag . "
Lol! Me with a very detailed profile. Lol!
I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea so no point pretending to be something I'm not, especially at my age. I get enough intimacy and cock...I'm not desperate to meet with or to be liked by everyone on Fab. If people don't have emotional intelligence, I'm never going to be a good fit for them. I am not a fantasy. I'm a real human person.
I get free massages by partners and naturists spa goers. I get tied up and tie myself and others up at my rope spaces and once a month I pop up for the Ignite social with the regular swingers. Once a quarter, I go to Torture Garden with the kinksters and fetishists.
I'm autistic, direct and detailed! A deep thinker beyond my ego and my libido. I understand that other people are just here to fuck. Lol! But I like something more than just fucking. I have toys if I just want to fuck. Lol! |
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"alpt of forum/chat women / couples /men give out fake veris making the veri system mean nothing now days "
As we try and limit our meets to a one hour radius, we find we can often backtrack through veris and within two or three steps we can find someone that's been verified by someone we know. It's not foolproof but it gives a bit more peace of mind that they might be genuine. |
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