FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > (In)ability to just chat
(In)ability to just chat
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *umi2 OP Couple 8 weeks ago
NW Cumbria |
Are we expecting too much simply wanting to chat a bit to find out something about people? There's so many who can't seem to say anything about themselves - except sexual stuff - and invariably resort to inane "how's your day been?" questions.
Sorry this sounds like a moan - but it's a genuine question: is it too much to expect an actual conversation? Something that shows personality, humour and whatnot? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We feel this too. We like to chat and get to know people before anything else happens. It's also nice to have social meets as well.
As you say people can be too quick to make it sexual....and that can be off putting.
Mr. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
No one really cares how someone's day has been. We once challenged someone on why their first message was Hi. Reply came, because I'm rubbish at introductions. And that's the sort of people you get on fab sometimes. We chat, and invariably when a single man types hehe or wot the conversation will turn smutty quickly. It's all there in the signals |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
|
I think sometimes that the text chat doesn't help because you can't infer tone from simple text. So it's hard to make a conversation flow like a face to face chat. However, I agree there are a lot of people where it is very clear that they don't want to get to know the people behind the username. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oufouCouple 8 weeks ago
Somerset |
For me, there needs to be a connection. This is distinct from attraction, or chemistry. A sharp wit will definitely help, but unless a guy can hold my attention in conversation, he isn’t going to be holding anything else! lol
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There's huge diversity of people here, including what they are looking for. What they want may not be what they say they want.
But, most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. With such great diversity of people here, including many just wanting to talk fantasy, it's potentially a massive job trying to sort the wheat from the chaff.
Even with fairly similar people, it's possibly a gargantuan job.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *umi2 OP Couple 8 weeks ago
NW Cumbria |
"We feel this too. We like to chat and get to know people before anything else happens. It's also nice to have social meets as well.
As you say people can be too quick to make it sexual....and that can be off putting.
Mr. "
Yeah, you ask someone to tell you a bit about themselves and it's instantly about their sexual fantasies 
Sure, ultimately this site is about sex, but you do want actual humans with personality! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *umi2 OP Couple 8 weeks ago
NW Cumbria |
"No one really cares how someone's day has been. We once challenged someone on why their first message was Hi. Reply came, because I'm rubbish at introductions. And that's the sort of people you get on fab sometimes. We chat, and invariably when a single man types hehe or wot the conversation will turn smutty quickly. It's all there in the signals"
It seems to be simple laziness - a quick Hi costs nothing while a proper message takes a bit of effort (and brain) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *umi2 OP Couple 8 weeks ago
NW Cumbria |
"If you're chatting to ascertain compatibility at least you're finding out asap. It's a case of mismatched expectations and requirements rather than a failure on anyone's part I think "
Sadly true  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *umi2 OP Couple 8 weeks ago
NW Cumbria |
"I think sometimes that the text chat doesn't help because you can't infer tone from simple text. So it's hard to make a conversation flow like a face to face chat. However, I agree there are a lot of people where it is very clear that they don't want to get to know the people behind the username."
Yes, texting isn't the best for nuance, but this seems more laziness and numptiness! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *umi2 OP Couple 8 weeks ago
NW Cumbria |
"For me, there needs to be a connection. This is distinct from attraction, or chemistry. A sharp wit will definitely help, but unless a guy can hold my attention in conversation, he isn’t going to be holding anything else! lol
"
Haha! Yes - "Hi" or simmilar isn't quick witted or attention keeping |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *umi2 OP Couple 8 weeks ago
NW Cumbria |
"There's huge diversity of people here, including what they are looking for. What they want may not be what they say they want.
But, most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. With such great diversity of people here, including many just wanting to talk fantasy, it's potentially a massive job trying to sort the wheat from the chaff.
Even with fairly similar people, it's possibly a gargantuan job.
"
Not sure if there's much diversity really - you can categorise most people on here fairly quickly. For example, the huge group of mainly single blokes who send "hi" type messages  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Unfortunately we have very boring day to day lives and really don't have much interesting to say, so we hate it when people want to chat for weeks before thinking about a meet. We also don't have the time to keep loads of chats going in the hope that something might lead to more.
We like to see that we find the person attractive, have a few messages to just see what their situation is and how they play, then like to do the "chat" face to face. Although we also understand people's insistence on a social, we always say that we're happy to play on a first meet if everyone is happy.
Maybe we're unusual and maybe we're losing meets because of it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *umi2 OP Couple 8 weeks ago
NW Cumbria |
"Unfortunately we have very boring day to day lives and really don't have much interesting to say, so we hate it when people want to chat for weeks before thinking about a meet. We also don't have the time to keep loads of chats going in the hope that something might lead to more.
We like to see that we find the person attractive, have a few messages to just see what their situation is and how they play, then like to do the "chat" face to face. Although we also understand people's insistence on a social, we always say that we're happy to play on a first meet if everyone is happy.
Maybe we're unusual and maybe we're losing meets because of it."
You're right that you don't want conversations to go on for weeks - it's more about the initial few messages. You get one that seems okay, put an effort in replying, then get the lazy "howz ur day been?" kind of response |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We find that chatting on here, as a couple, is quite difficult.
Much better to chat on WhatsApp where we can all chat and everyone knows who is saying what  "
Totally agree with this.
People rarely sign off a message on here with who its from....makes it difficult to navigate it.
We find couples so much harder....we've had great times with them, but its no longer our main preference.
Mr. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We feel this too. We like to chat and get to know people before anything else happens. It's also nice to have social meets as well.
As you say people can be too quick to make it sexual....and that can be off putting.
Mr. "
It seems a reasonable expectation to me - though exchanging monologues on here isn’t conducive to ‘chat’ so I like to switch to Telegram, Kik, or maybe WhatsApp pretty quickly.
Just been chatting to someone I haven’t met (yet) about our respective weekends - theatre, cinema, gig, family meals… nothing sexual. All very natural. At the same time, we both know what we want when we finally get a chance to meet (and we have discussed some of that in earlier conversations).
Good chat is important in any meet, it’s good to share common interests beyond the physical… |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It’s a bit of a tightrope, between generic pleasantries and interrogation
I want to chat, but sometimes it feels like I’m a stalker, asking questions about the other person.
It would probably be fine, and flow nicely if it were a face to face conversation (with facial expressions and tone of voice) but when stripped down to bare text, it can be awkward
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aandLoCouple 8 weeks ago
Southampton |
We've moved on from many a cute guy due to their inability to hold an actual conversation beyond bland pleasantries.
We'd absolutely be open to someone after a few half decent exchanges, telling us they struggle keeping up online chats and would like to meet. But endless banal "how was your weekend?" "what you doing today," and we just bow out.
The successful chats have naturally moved from polite, to flirty, to filthy. And there are guys who can do that well, so we've held on for them.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Its an interesting topic, I really love to chat about all manner of things but what I have found interesting and surprising though is that most interactions stem from the generic rather the thought out, drafted intro. I tend to think perhaps there is more a element of timing to this, catch someone whilst they are online and looking, even with a generic one liner, as apposed to a well thought out message being lost in the inbox.
Either way, you always hope that it leads to a conversation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A good conversation is always important in my book and it shouldn't be all about sex, currently talking to a beautiful lady from here and we been having some good chat and planned for a social.
Haveing someone who want a normal talk feels more natural and both party feels at ease |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Going to throw it out there but we don't like to chat much before a meet. Yes exchange a few messages to get a taste of vibe and mutual attraction of course. But beyond that no. If there is enough established intrest to meet then we like to just arrange a date and put the chat on the back burner till we meet for real. You never really know if that chemistry is there or not till you meet face to face. So just seems alot to invest in all that chat just to find the chemistry isn't there when you meet in person. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We feel this too. We like to chat and get to know people before anything else happens. It's also nice to have social meets as well.
As you say people can be too quick to make it sexual....and that can be off putting.
Mr. "
Well. A single guy, I know ,I know. But chatting doesn't matter does it?. Its not like I would tear open that body stocking like a bunch of oranges from tescos.
But come on , really?. Living in Bakewell and how can you not chat about tarts?. Ill chat about tarts all day without once mentioning creamy centers. Or those fantastic crumbly walls that crumble and fall like self imposed limits that fall at the slightest touch. Let yourself go a bit and fill your mouth. Experiment with slightly older tarts that have set a little and not so runny when bitten into, those tarts know how to put the owners pleasure first. come on its only chat about tarts |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I do like a chat
But the one word answer’s are hard work
If we did ask” how’s your day”
It’s a conversion starter
And hopefully this will lead into a good discussion
I lose interest quickly if all I get back is
Yes / No/Ok responses
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Going to throw it out there but we don't like to chat much before a meet. Yes exchange a few messages to get a taste of vibe and mutual attraction of course. But beyond that no. If there is enough established intrest to meet then we like to just arrange a date and put the chat on the back burner till we meet for real. You never really know if that chemistry is there or not till you meet face to face. So just seems alot to invest in all that chat just to find the chemistry isn't there when you meet in person."
I tend to agree - we all know why we’re here, so I have no problem exchanging chat re. sexual compatibility and I do like to discover a little bit about a potential partner’s background and interests - but then I like to meet. I’m not here looking for penpals.
But sometimes conversation develops, sometimes it isn’t easy to find a mutually agreeable time to meet and so sometimes chat continues longer than planned. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have been trying to have conversations with people for the majority of the time I have been on here to very little success. I have tried informative conversations, sexual conversations and entertainment ones, but still struggling with people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eyeYCouple 8 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"We find that chatting on here, as a couple, is quite difficult.
Much better to chat on WhatsApp where we can all chat and everyone knows who is saying what "
Entirely! Though we use Telegram too if folk are not keen on sharing phone numbers.
Although we do feel the reluctance to do so can indicate a similar reservation elsewhere and frankly we want to ascertain attraction and compatibility early, saves sooo much time 🤷😘 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *umi2 OP Couple 8 weeks ago
NW Cumbria |
"Going to throw it out there but we don't like to chat much before a meet. Yes exchange a few messages to get a taste of vibe and mutual attraction of course. But beyond that no. If there is enough established intrest to meet then we like to just arrange a date and put the chat on the back burner till we meet for real. You never really know if that chemistry is there or not till you meet face to face. So just seems alot to invest in all that chat just to find the chemistry isn't there when you meet in person."
Totally agree that it's best to meet up in real life quickly for the reasons you suggest  It's just that so many people - usually but not always single blokes - don't seem able to chat in the initial few messages  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
|
I love a good conversation but when they turn it sexual straight away, I switch off off, I just can’t.
I’ve kind of give up with expecting a normal conversation now, although there are the odd few who I speak to regularly |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Lots of people seem to want to chat, but i guess i am only interested in chatting once I've established we might be compatable and could meet, location, schedules etc. Nice to have a bit of chat to establish manners and wavelength. I'm not looking to spend a lot of time chatting to someone. If I wanted to chat I have friends to chat to. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
im not one for long drawn out chats however i wont meet until ive at least git a measure of the guy..
yes far to many men just dont want any chat they just want action / or sex talk and i block every single one that shows that trait
another problem men some men have is they think all couples and women are the same when every single one of us is different in how we get our meets |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Lots of people seem to want to chat, but i guess i am only interested in chatting once I've established we might be compatable and could meet, location, schedules etc. Nice to have a bit of chat to establish manners and wavelength. I'm not looking to spend a lot of time chatting to someone. If I wanted to chat I have friends to chat to."
This. I get so many messages I only reply if I like the photos on their profile and they are close enough to make meeting possible, even then I don't like to chat much beyond trying to see if we are going to click. I chat more after sex, chilling out, than before
Of course we are all different and we all have different needs... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By * and BCouple 7 weeks ago
Durham |
"Are we expecting too much simply wanting to chat a bit to find out something about people? There's so many who can't seem to say anything about themselves - except sexual stuff - and invariably resort to inane "how's your day been?" questions.
Sorry this sounds like a moan - but it's a genuine question: is it too much to expect an actual conversation? Something that shows personality, humour and whatnot?"
We feel the same way, getting a bit bored of it now. Just a few weekes ago we had a couple message us asking to chat. We read through their profile, all good and seemed to match, so entered into a chat. their first message was we are sick of the time wasters, that was it for their first message, yes one sentence. We sent back a good paragraph of who and what we are about. Their second message again one line 'Thats good' So we tried again a carefully constructed message referencing what they said on their profile. That message went unread for a day or two. Again messaged back with one sentence. WE messaged back again feeling a bit of is this really a chat, but as it goes on here, they didn't read it and ghosted us. 3 weeks on and they still haven't read our well constructed message. Our next thing, probably after this post, is hitting that well used block button as we roll our eyes once again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I (female) find this difficult. Too much chat when you haven't met in person can often become either boring or mundane or sexual where you run the risk of the sexual spark not being there in person. We're always happy for a little chat but ideally want to save most of the chat for a social. Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By * and BCouple 7 weeks ago
Durham |
"I (female) find this difficult. Too much chat when you haven't met in person can often become either boring or mundane or sexual where you run the risk of the sexual spark not being there in person. We're always happy for a little chat but ideally want to save most of the chat for a social. Xx"
Couldn't agree more. A bit of chat finding out who people are and if you click here, then in person. We never engage in sex chat before we meet in person   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We delete, after our reply, about 90% of people who contact us, they don't read our profile in full, its that simple.
If you look at our profile it actually asks you in the first few lines.
We use it as a filter, seems to work.
If they can't be bothered to read a profile what else can't they be bothered doing.
Group socials are a great way to sort out the wheat from the chaff and to move from Fab to some of the WhatsApp groups for genuine people meeting on holidays etc.
Its a minefield on here but with a bit of effort and experience the clues are there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *DW1983Man 7 weeks ago
Sheffield or Aberdeen |
I've had messahes that just say "hi". Sometimes I ignore them. Sometimes I try saying "hi" in reply, which nearly always goes unanswered.
Other times I've sent messages (that is, interesting, conversational messages) to try and open a conversation, maybe asking a question and showing interest, and had a reply like "yes". It's barely worth writing a reply at all. Frustrating, but a good indicator - if someone can't be bothered to make at least a small effort... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm very chatty and have great banter but it tends to mostly appear when I'm comfortable. If I have never spoken to someone before a seemingly dull Q about how life is that day/week/weekend etc is going is only dull if the reply is dull.
"I am buzzing from a trip to Spain to do underwater cave diving" would definitely inspire a higher quality response. 'Meh, same old same old' on the other hand is harder to work with but I can still turn it round into something amusing. In general terms, if you meet a complete stranger face to face for the first time, asking them if life's treating them well or badly usually elicits a positive response - most people are actually glad you asked, and it builds rapport, as well as enables you to dial in the tone of subsequent messages (eg if their dog died the day before obviously that might well change my whole tone and approach). So I'm not sure quite why so many people feel it's a bad way to ease into a conversation via message. I'd argue its how the conversation is conducted after the initial pleasantries that will give you a real idea of personality - did they pay attention and reply with something pertinent, or did they basically ignore everything and start trying to seduce you despite the deceased hound?
I feel like you need at least two or three replies in each direction to start getting the measure of someone's personality, intellect, sense of humour/lack thereof etc etc.
Obviously if every single message continues the tame and dull small talk vibe, then fair enough, but I feel like basic pleasantries and adhering to a more verbal conversational protocol in the first instance might not guarantee a reply but it usually leads to longer and better conversations. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't mind chatting and have chatted to lots of couples but chatting for so long they start to feel more like friends. Which then feels a bit strange meeting. I have actually made some good friends off here.
I do prefer to set up a group WhatsApp with all members of the couples chatting instead of one profile. You can then get a feel for if both of the couple want to meet or if one is doing it more for the other
(Mrs) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We unfortunately have found exactly the same , a lot of first messages simply a “hi “ we try to reply to most messages but usually it’s K ( female ) that replies, we love to chat to people and get to know things about them |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
|
I feel like with some people when you try to talk & build things without jumping straight in they get bored but I’m looking for nice slow chat getting to know each other no rush |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
This is part of the reason why I’ve stopped messaging. The responses to my attempts to initiate conversation about topics outside of sexual acts are just “ugh” 🙄
Majority of the time it’s as if others are just simply pushing their own fantasies on you or are only interested if they feel you can “perform” a role for them & nothing else.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm down for quick action if the situation takes it that way, but that's rare
I do try and get conversations going but it feels like the majority of people have nothing about them
Maybe thats a reflection on my suitability to them, or what they've looking for, but I guess if that's the case, why even reply? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Oh gosh I thought it was just me. I’m sure I open the same message about 10 times a day. “Hi, how are you” “what ya doing” “tell me about yourself”
All really seem to annoy me. Perhaps I’m being a bit moody about “tell me about yourself” but it just seems lazy when I have a profile right there!!
And then when they say “where are you located” like…. Argh!
Thanks for letting me get that out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
They say women can talk for England… apparently not on Fabswingers though - I’m here trying to keep early message exchanges alive while my responses remain unread like the terms and conditions on an Insurance form… 🤣 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Are we expecting too much simply wanting to chat a bit to find out something about people? There's so many who can't seem to say anything about themselves - except sexual stuff - and invariably resort to inane "how's your day been?" questions.
Sorry this sounds like a moan - but it's a genuine question: is it too much to expect an actual conversation? Something that shows personality, humour and whatnot?"
Fully agree with you the art of proper conversation has long gone, sadly.
I have an open book policy people can ask anything they wish.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Uncanny I have found this tread as I was just considering posting something similar. I guess it's perhaps different from profile to profile, but o would agree with OP here. Our preference is to have normal-ish chat to see if there's a connection there or not first and foremost.
Personally, we find initial "sex text" type messages a real turn off. Had the briefest of conversations with a male this morning whose opening was asking if "Mrs" would like a "pussy licking session". No introduction, or note from the profile that we prefer not to meet alone/solo. I questioned him as to whether he's actually read our bio. To which I was told that he hadn't, who does and his "wee tip" for us was that it was far too long. Completely disagree here. Reading a persons bio can go a long way. Thankfully, in this case, he has done the ing for us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *j188Couple 5 weeks ago
aberdeenshire |
"Are we expecting too much simply wanting to chat a bit to find out something about people? There's so many who can't seem to say anything about themselves - except sexual stuff - and invariably resort to inane "how's your day been?" questions.
Sorry this sounds like a moan - but it's a genuine question: is it too much to expect an actual conversation? Something that shows personality, humour and whatnot?"
👍👍 this has been our’bug bear’ since day one |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Uncanny I have found this tread as I was just considering posting something similar. I guess it's perhaps different from profile to profile, but o would agree with OP here. Our preference is to have normal-ish chat to see if there's a connection there or not first and foremost.
Personally, we find initial "sex text" type messages a real turn off. Had the briefest of conversations with a male this morning whose opening was asking if "Mrs" would like a "pussy licking session". No introduction, or note from the profile that we prefer not to meet alone/solo. I questioned him as to whether he's actually read our bio. To which I was told that he hadn't, who does and his "wee tip" for us was that it was far too long. Completely disagree here. Reading a persons bio can go a long way. Thankfully, in this case, he has done the ing for us. "
We get this every day. Having a conversation on here is a rarity |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We all have different opinions on the matter and the forums are a great way to express how you feel.
They all come with support and good feedback and from what I see a lot of people here look out for one another.
That being said, I do think there are people here who don't mind engaging in conversations getting to know the person/couple, but then where do you draw the line exactly?
How long do you keep taking until you both decide a meet is going to happen. Sure speaking for a few weeks is fine maybe a couple of months but anything after that you gotta ask are you really here to meet and engage in sexual activities. Isn't that a part of the swinging life style?
I could be wrong but that's what I thought.
I am not saying don't engage with people, I'm not saying you shouldn't speak casually which you should, there's more to a person than what they present sexually.
I'm just saying there comes a point where you must ask yourself why are you really here and do you have any plans on actually meeting people or is fab just another platform to make online friends with no plans of ever meeting.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We all have different opinions on the matter and the forums are a great way to express how you feel.
They all come with support and good feedback and from what I see a lot of people here look out for one another.
That being said, I do think there are people here who don't mind engaging in conversations getting to know the person/couple, but then where do you draw the line exactly?
How long do you keep taking until you both decide a meet is going to happen. Sure speaking for a few weeks is fine maybe a couple of months but anything after that you gotta ask are you really here to meet and engage in sexual activities. Isn't that a part of the swinging life style?
I could be wrong but that's what I thought.
I am not saying don't engage with people, I'm not saying you shouldn't speak casually which you should, there's more to a person than what they present sexually.
I'm just saying there comes a point where you must ask yourself why are you really here and do you have any plans on actually meeting people or is fab just another platform to make online friends with no plans of ever meeting.
so to be on fab you MUST meet? you can't just join for chats or forum use and meet people outside of fab like at clubs?
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We quite enjoying chatting just to get to know couples first and seeing if there is a connection to know at least we will have something to chat about on a meet! It gives us a feel of what sort of people we are to meet and makes us less nervous..
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *umi2 OP Couple 5 weeks ago
NW Cumbria |
Thanks to everyone that's posted about our question - it's great that there's some intelligent and thoughtful comments. Much appreciated!
It's good to know other people face the same problem - well, it's not 'good' but you know what I mean
Also, we fully get that chatting endlessly isn't the point for a swinging site - it's just that we feel there needs to be some initial conversation to see if it's worth arranging a meet. But then again, as several people have suggested, it's a good way of filtering folk out
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *neforutoMan 5 weeks ago
Fantasy land in the SW |
Im pretty upfront in my profile and as a married guy playing solo Im a very niche fish in a very selective pond. Despite my ability to talk the hind legs off a donkey getting folks to engage in chat is very difficult. I generally only get messages from blokes who want me to worship their todgers - oh dear |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *asoMan 5 weeks ago
Sheffield |
"Are we expecting too much simply wanting to chat a bit to find out something about people? There's so many who can't seem to say anything about themselves - except sexual stuff - and invariably resort to inane "how's your day been?" questions.
Sorry this sounds like a moan - but it's a genuine question: is it too much to expect an actual conversation? Something that shows personality, humour and whatnot?"
I’m curious whether the cultural mix in our community make this harder?
Any of you from different backgrounds feel that ‘lost in translation’ feeling? How do we break the ice and have fulfilling conversations? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I feel somtimes that trying to enter in to a conversation is difficult as finding the relevant subject matter it can be a minefield and after being ignored it makes it even more difficult not receiving a response in order to learn from the experience |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
