FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > So hard for straight single guys
So hard for straight single guys
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"Your sentence about massage is incomplete. I think you could perhaps add something about why you want to meet couples." Updated | |||
"If you press 'reply and quote' rather than 'reply in forum' we can see which comment you are replying to "Thanks, got it | |||
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"The updated profile text looks good" Thanks 🤞 others think so | |||
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"If you were closer we'd love to chat with you. Nice pics, nice profile and absolutely my type physically. Unfortunately, it a numbers game. Too many men, and not enough couples and women looking for single men. 😬 x Lo x " Thanks, nice to hear something positive, gives me hope 🤣 Next time I'm heading to the south coast I'll let you know. | |||
"Most people aren't for most people. What a lot of men seem to get wrong is trying to appeal to the broadest demographic possible, instead of making their profile actually informative as to whether or not they're compatible with someone. Most women who accept messages from single men will get a lot of them. So we learn to filter down as quickly as possible rather than waste time on people who aren't suitable. The ones with no profile pictures are usually the first to get skipped, then the ones that have no profile text, and then the ones where most if not all of profile could have been written by an AI when asking for a dating profile, because it's so generic and everyman and absolutely useless to giving us any actual information about the person behind the profile. More specifics will put the people that don't like those specifics off, but that's not a loss, because they weren't the right people for you anyway. The other is that respectful and polite should be a baseline, not a selling point. Roughly equivalent to wiping your arse after pooping. It should be expected, but it shouldn't make someone stand out for doing it. It is hard going for single men on here. Clubs and group socials are the easiest way to get to meet people in person and get some verifications and connect a bit more with people. Remember that if a message doesn't stand out then it will fade into the background in the average woman's inbox. If there's nothing positive for then to connect with then they're unlikely to respond 💜" Thanks for the feedback, I'm pretty sure I have certainly some of your points covered. My bio is written not AI but if thats how it reads I can change it. Looks like getting out to a social/club is next on the agenda. I'll start to look locally | |||
"Thanks for the feedback, I'm pretty sure I have certainly some of your points covered. My bio is written not AI but if thats how it reads I can change it. Looks like getting out to a social/club is next on the agenda. I'll start to look locally " There are certain phrases that AI regularly spits out that appear, a lot of generic buzzwords, and multiple instances of the not that, not that, just this. I can tell a fair portion of it is human, but it definitely reads like portions of it are copy pasted from chatGPT. They may not be, it's so common now that people probably just think that's how you're supposed to write it. But it flags for people who want to know the human rather than the front. But otherwise, there is some personal detail to the text, the gallery is refreshingly lacking in penis, the profile picture gives plenty of information, and all in all it's a better profile than most have on here. It's just about finding the people that are right for you. | |||
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"Thanks for the feedback, I'm pretty sure I have certainly some of your points covered. My bio is written not AI but if thats how it reads I can change it. Looks like getting out to a social/club is next on the agenda. I'll start to look locally There are certain phrases that AI regularly spits out that appear, a lot of generic buzzwords, and multiple instances of the not that, not that, just this. I can tell a fair portion of it is human, but it definitely reads like portions of it are copy pasted from chatGPT. They may not be, it's so common now that people probably just think that's how you're supposed to write it. But it flags for people who want to know the human rather than the front. But otherwise, there is some personal detail to the text, the gallery is refreshingly lacking in penis, the profile picture gives plenty of information, and all in all it's a better profile than most have on here. It's just about finding the people that are right for you." Thanks | |||
"Sorry if I sounded blunt above, clubs are nothing to worry about if your personality is good. Just chat and make friends and the rest comes with it. Have a look at my profile I am shy in normal life and felt daunted the first time" Thanks, will do | |||
"If you were closer we'd love to chat with you. Nice pics, nice profile and absolutely my type physically. Unfortunately, it a numbers game. Too many men, and not enough couples and women looking for single men. 😬 x Lo x Thanks, nice to hear something positive, gives me hope 🤣 Next time I'm heading to the south coast I'll let you know. " Please do. Agree with comments about socials and clubs. They really aren't anything to worry about. Just look decent and put yourself out there. Go and chat with people. The social part really is half the battle in enjoying a night at a club imo. If you wait for people to approach you, you could be waiting forever so be bold. xx | |||
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"Just a nitpicky correction: It is “a woman”, not “a women” " Also 'nit' and 'tgat' | |||
"Just a nitpicky correction: It is “a woman”, not “a women” Also 'nit' and 'tgat'" Noted, lovely. 
What do I substitute them with?
I am well known for my typos- fat fingers and perimenopausal eyesight on a small phone. Just trying to help the dude out to improve his chances.
Enjoy your bitchiness as usual, girl. I’m stepping out. 🎀 | |||
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"I wasn't commenting on your profile. I haven't even looked at it. It is OP who asked for feedback on his and the 'nit' and 'tgat' are on his profile. " What do nit and tgat mean? | |||
" What do nit and tgat mean? " OP asked for help, advice and feedback on his profile. Nit and tgat are his typos for not and that. I thought he might want to correct them while he was doing the 'women' correction the other poster had suggested. | |||
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" What do nit and tgat mean? OP asked for help, advice and feedback on his profile. Nit and tgat are his typos for not and that. I thought he might want to correct them while he was doing the 'women' correction the other poster had suggested. " Thank you. | |||
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"Feedback taken on board (in here and over DM) Bio rewritten as it read too AI and typis corrected No dick pics on profile (but available on request) So looks like next step is a social or club. Where do I even start to look? And any advice on unwritten rules and etiquette is appreciated " I think you are fairly close to va, penthouse and jaydees, all are really friendly clubs | |||
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"Fair point, but honestly, seems a bit daunting for a guy on his own with no experience of this sort of club. Ive messaged people before who have experience asking about unwritten rules and etiquette around this, but not much help or response recieved " There is no unwritten rules, just follow the written ones. Get your ass in a club, chat with people (including guys, the regulars will help you get included), don't stalk women and couples, and maybe you'll be lucky. The worst hhat can happen is not getting laid. I did that on my own with no experience, I had some great fun and made some friends. | |||
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"I was just thinking the same thing dont really have an issue at clubs but on here something else "I doubt a black guy attending BMFC events would have any issues finding people interested in him….🤭 | |||
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"Hi all, I've been on here since late last year, I'm still yet to have a meet through fab. I appreciate the number of single guys on here is huge but I can't work out what I'm getting wrong. I send respectful messages, sometimes with a hint of naughty, they're not cut and paste and usually have a face pic attached. I'm not one of the 'fancy a fuck' guys who jump straight in with a dick pics either, should I be? I know I haven't got a gym bod or 10 inch cock, but surely there are some people looking for a genuine decent bloke who wants to have some fun? So what am I getting wrong? Is it the pics? The bio? The whole profile? Any help, advice or feedback appreciated. Be honest, I'm a grown man and can take some criticism. " Get to clubs and events. Especially ones that welcome and embrace single guys. They are a fantastic way of meeting loads of people in one day/night and making connections. Xx | |||
" Get to clubs and events. Especially ones that welcome and embrace single guys. They are a fantastic way of meeting loads of people in one day/night and making connections. Xx" Those are great. Hard to find! I travel around for fun. Its a nice way to explore. | |||
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" Get to clubs and events. Especially ones that welcome and embrace single guys. They are a fantastic way of meeting loads of people in one day/night and making connections. Xx Those are great. Hard to find! I travel around for fun. Its a nice way to explore. " There are very few clubs who actually welcome and embrace single guys, apart from BMFC events. It would be great if guys network more, let others know which clubs to avoid, which to make a beeline for.... | |||
"Your sentence about massage is incomplete. I think you could perhaps add something about why you want to meet couples." I haven't read through all of the responses yet, but the last part here is some really good advice. As a couple profile, it's sadly very apparent that a lot of male site users only have couples in the list of people they'll meet as a means of access to meeting the female half. Not saying that absolutely everyone is like this, but sadly many are. Maybe an elaboration as to why you/someone would like to engage and meet with couples would help. | |||
 just be yourself and enjoy ,once your face is know around the club scene then fab becomes easier | |||
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"Give it some perspective right, it maybe hard for a single guy on Fab but don't discount the fact that maintaining/nurturing a relationship isn't child's play either. I know the above doesn't help you directly but you may find universe a bit more balanced if you take above into account." Also very true. Balancing life outside of Fab/swinging and maintaining a relationship too. Poor Missy has it tough as she has her husband and kids etc as well as me 😂 | |||
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"If you do visit a club for the love of god don't walk around in white socks and sandals. Also I'm not joking when I say this but if you have a shower and smell nice you will be way ahead 95% of the blokes who attend club nights. We find it bewildering when people atttend a club and they haven't had a shower before hand. " Wow! That is bewildering! 😱 I go with the principle of ‘Look good, smell good, taste good’ 😁👍 | |||
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"Try being bi lol " I've quickly noticed that especially on this site, being more open minded as a single bloke will undoubtedly change my success rate, despite clearly stating straight on my bio, I'm surprised my how many men message me just to double check 😂 I relation to the OPs question, I would suggest putting your eggs in different baskets, unsure if the T&Cs allow the mention of other platforms, but I usually find success on a certain ENM/Kink friendly app. | |||
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"I was just thinking the same thing dont really have an issue at clubs but on here something else "Your profile gives attached energy and you can't accom, maybe it's that? | |||
"Try being bi lol I've quickly noticed that especially on this site, being more open minded as a single bloke will undoubtedly change my success rate, despite clearly stating straight on my bio, I'm surprised my how many men message me just to double check 😂." Judging by the number of “straight” men who have messaged me, offering to meet up and be the bottom, labels are sadly nearly worthless, due to people trying to game the system. I’m open and honest about my preferences, I expect the same in return. | |||
"Hi all, I've been on here since late last year, I'm still yet to have a meet through fab. I appreciate the number of single guys on here is huge but I can't work out what I'm getting wrong. I send respectful messages, sometimes with a hint of naughty, they're not cut and paste and usually have a face pic attached. I'm not one of the 'fancy a fuck' guys who jump straight in with a dick pics either, should I be? I know I haven't got a gym bod or 10 inch cock, but surely there are some people looking for a genuine decent bloke who wants to have some fun? So what am I getting wrong? Is it the pics? The bio? The whole profile? Any help, advice or feedback appreciated. Be honest, I'm a grown man and can take some criticism. " I reckon your first (and only) mistake was assuming it would (or should) be easier than it is. In my humble experience, and I've been on here for years, it takes a lot of effort for very little progress, and a good degree of luck. Not only are you a very small fish in a very big pond of male profiles, you're also fighting a tide of fakes, flakes, and flippancy. It's good you're trying to send thoughtful, respectful and well-crafted messages, but these are no silver bullet. That doesn't mean you should cheapen your approach and start sending dick pics, however. As others have mentioned, definitely visit a club or two, chat to people, and get yourself known. That'll slowly open a few doors for you. I'd also recommend you devise a way to get yourself recognised, whether that's something like humour, appealing attire, or a combination of things. Figure out your Fab/swinging identity and try to make it different to almost everyone else. Your USP is key. I also don't have a gym bod and I barely have a 6-inch cock, let alone a 10-inch one. At least you're 6-foot tall, which makes you considerably more desirable than short folk like me! 🤣 In my experience, it feels like most couples and ladies want VWE which can be very demoralising sometimes (and happens to me regularly), but those probably aren't the people you should waste your time on. Fab can be like dropping a stone in a huge lake and hoping the ripples make contact. You just gotta keep going, try to stay optimistic, but also try not to burn yourself out either — that can be far worse. Just so you know, some of the best meets I've had have come from happenstance. That's all I'm sayin'! 😉 Good luck and keep truckin', fella! 👍 | |||
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"Our experience of this site! 99$ of Males do not read profiles. 99% of Males want a shag, they want it now and with the minimum of effort. 99$ of males (replying to us) do not have any standards and do not expect us to have any either. 99% of males make minimal effort. If genuine then a bit of effort can result in a wonderful friendship/association, but our experience has proved that all of the above points." We agree totally with that. | |||
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"Our experience of this site! 99$ of Males do not read profiles. 99% of Males want a shag, they want it now and with the minimum of effort. 99$ of males (replying to us) do not have any standards and do not expect us to have any either. 99% of males make minimal effort. If genuine then a bit of effort can result in a wonderful friendship/association, but our experience has proved that all of the above points." This is so true unfortunately. We have tried telling several people from the start that meets need to be planned well in advance due to logistics. That we still like a group chat on WhatsApp to build a connection in the meantime. Bit several aren't as willing to accept that as they initially profess. | |||
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"Its hard for everyone on here tbh" I couldn't agree more. Its hard for men, as theres so many alternatives. Its hard for women as men don't read your profile to see if you match, they just message regardless. Its hard for couples, 4 way attraction etc etc. Mr. | |||
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"Its hard for everyone on here tbh I couldn't agree more. Its hard for men, as theres so many alternatives. Its hard for women as men don't read your profile to see if you match, they just message regardless. Its hard for couples, 4 way attraction etc etc. Mr. " 100% I've been trying to meet a couple for a while but find one where there is a 3 way attraction is proving to be impossible | |||
"Its hard for everyone on here tbh I couldn't agree more. Its hard for men, as theres so many alternatives. Its hard for women as men don't read your profile to see if you match, they just message regardless. Its hard for couples, 4 way attraction etc etc. Mr. 100% I've been trying to meet a couple for a while but find one where there is a 3 way attraction is proving to be impossible " I feel your pain. Our issue with couples was always finding couples that arent equal. Were a couple that love to chat and build a connection. We would always find the female chatty, so i (Mr) was happy, but the other male was really quiet....and that doesn't suit my partner. It happened so frequently. I really hope you find your couple....you have a lovely profile. Mr. | |||
"Everyone's in the same boat to a certain degree. Guys think we have it easy, but its not always a walk in the park for us either. I've been stood up once and ghosted once this week already and it's only Thursday!! I think the key is just not to take it too seriously x" Fr, guys so often dip on meets and ghost at the final moment | |||
