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What counts as a Good 1st message?
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Been here a little (a year) while but seem not to be making any form of a basic connection with others, just with a simple message. Is Scotland not very into dealing with guys that look too young like myself or ppl more into a particular type ?
As Ive messaged lots via FL (kink website) and gets lots of response but here its close to nothing and I don't know why, ofc no body gives any feedback here so I want to hear what some basic good messages sound like vs some bad ones (I can only imagine that they will have dick pics in them) |
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A good first message is surely one that gets a reply?
That said I suppose it depends on the content of the message and the recipients mood at the time.
Looking back at past messages we have replied to there isn't a common denominator, they just struck a chord at the time.
Luck or synchronicity? |
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The best way IMO is to find something to say that will evocate something in their profile of status but in a surprizing, original manner.
A good (original!) joke, an unexpected reference to something their profile that shows you really share a common interest.
Also, do no bother sending a message when people are not online, your message will be lost in a pile. |
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OP, women and couples tend to look at the profile before deciding if they wish to reply. So making sure your profile is as informative as it can be, that's your first step to getting a reply. As others have said, the initial message should be referring to their profile, showing you actually genuinely read it rather than you're just casting the wide net and messaging everyone within X number of miles. Keep it short and sweet, more than 1 word but less than a massive paragraph. And good luck!
Also, OP, the nature of here and the site you mention is very different, you shouldn't be comparing the response you're getting there to ones on here. |
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"
Also, do no bother sending a message when people are not online, your message will be lost in a pile."
that's very much not correct for most (well, those who take advantage of filters), and I really wish there was an option of showing as "offline", despite being online, so it's possible to browse in peace. |
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By *WB85Man 4 days ago
Staffordshire |
One that shows you have taken time to read their profile, find a way to refer to their bio...not copy and paste messages and generally make it interesting.
Only message those that are a genuine match, don't be messaging those wanting different things judt because they're hot.
Good luck. |
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""Hi, I've read your profile and you look very nice. If you like my profile and photos and may be interested in meeting please let me know. If I don't hear from you I'll take it as a polite no"."
Hi @Naomilatte, I do like you guys profile too, sadly I cant message you directly as its blocked for guys like me apparently.
If you guys could send me a message we can talk more from that. |
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I have one piece of advice which I think is rarely mentioned in these posts...
Obviously all the standard stuff applies, be polite, read the profile, make an effort.
But one of the biggest things is that guys make it hard to easily reply, make sure there is something in there that can be replied to!
Ask a question or two, so many times we get a message which is fine, the guy looks fine, but we don't really know what to say back, and tbh I can't be bothered to have to think about what to say back, so make it easy!
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""Hi, I've read your profile and you look very nice. If you like my profile and photos and may be interested in meeting please let me know. If I don't hear from you I'll take it as a polite no".
Hi @Naomilatte, I do like you guys profile too, sadly I cant message you directly as its blocked for guys like me apparently.
If you guys could send me a message we can talk more from that. "
I think we can see the problem now. You dont read or think.
Naomilatte was suggesting a good opening message for you, not coming on to you. Lol |
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""Hi, I've read your profile and you look very nice. If you like my profile and photos and may be interested in meeting please let me know. If I don't hear from you I'll take it as a polite no"."
Typically the kind of bland boilerplate message that never gets a reply unless the sender has exceptionnally attractive pics.
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No words, just a dick pic, preferably with a size comparison. Remote control, can of Stella etc
Also change your profile name to something like 'clungechampion'. That should help 🤣🤣
Seriously, though the advice above is really good. Be polite, courteous and make sure you've fully read the profile. Then try and say something that makes you stand out. Be charming, be funny, but most of all be patient.
It is hard for single guys on here, mostly because of the single guys on here. If you standout as one of the good ones, you'll be fine |
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""Hi, I've read your profile and you look very nice. If you like my profile and photos and may be interested in meeting please let me know. If I don't hear from you I'll take it as a polite no".
Hi @Naomilatte, I do like you guys profile too, sadly I cant message you directly as its blocked for guys like me apparently.
If you guys could send me a message we can talk more from that.
I think we can see the problem now. You dont read or think.
Naomilatte was suggesting a good opening message for you, not coming on to you. Lol"
yep, harsh but straight to the point. OP, just because people post of the forum, it doesn't mean they want to engage with anything but the forum. |
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""Hi, I've read your profile and you look very nice. If you like my profile and photos and may be interested in meeting please let me know. If I don't hear from you I'll take it as a polite no".
Hi @Naomilatte, I do like you guys profile too, sadly I cant message you directly as its blocked for guys like me apparently.
If you guys could send me a message we can talk more from that.
I think we can see the problem now. You dont read or think.
Naomilatte was suggesting a good opening message for you, not coming on to you. Lol"
Yup and I apologise for that, being on the spectrum I probably have some tendency to not understand when someone is messaging up vs giving tips, which feel a bit dumb now after noticing |
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""Hi, I've read your profile and you look very nice. If you like my profile and photos and may be interested in meeting please let me know. If I don't hear from you I'll take it as a polite no".
Hi @Naomilatte, I do like you guys profile too, sadly I cant message you directly as its blocked for guys like me apparently.
If you guys could send me a message we can talk more from that.
I think we can see the problem now. You dont read or think.
Naomilatte was suggesting a good opening message for you, not coming on to you. Lol
Yup and I apologise for that, being on the spectrum I probably have some tendency to not understand when someone is messaging up vs giving tips, which feel a bit dumb now after noticing "
it might be worth mentioning it on your profile, that you're on the spectrum? It's not going to get you any extra replies but you may be treated with a bit more patience. |
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""Hi, I've read your profile and you look very nice. If you like my profile and photos and may be interested in meeting please let me know. If I don't hear from you I'll take it as a polite no".
Hi @Naomilatte, I do like you guys profile too, sadly I cant message you directly as its blocked for guys like me apparently.
If you guys could send me a message we can talk more from that.
I think we can see the problem now. You dont read or think.
Naomilatte was suggesting a good opening message for you, not coming on to you. Lol"
Im pmsl as i read @Naomilatte message I thought it was an offer myself |
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I'd say the best ones are the people who read your profile and then reference something from that in your first message. Show's you've taken an interest, people generally like that and it gives you something to talk about to break the ice
next best is just a well thought out messsage, something that they can tell is sincere and not a copy-paste job, which is frankly easy to spot
i think most people are looking for a genuine connection |
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