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Sorry you are too far away?
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We were messaging a couple and they said that we were too far away from them, even though they are only 30 minutes drive away and we were willing to drive to theirs, strange?
Also we have noticed that guys that are an hour away seem to be more likely to turn up at ours than someone who's more local, what gives?  |
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Different people are different.
That being said, I find that distance increases pressure. I'd always say no to someone from, say, Lerwick, because "I've come all this way" and "it'd be a shame if this was a waste of time". People want a return on the investment on travel time. |
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"We were messaging a couple and they said that we were too far away from them, even though they are only 30 minutes drive away and we were willing to drive to theirs, strange?
Also we have noticed that guys that are an hour away seem to be more likely to turn up at ours than someone who's more local, what gives? "
Probably had bad experiences of being let down.
Personally for us we wouldnt want to meet with someone really local, to close for comfort lol |
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We've found that any single guy travelling over an hour to us is much, much more likely to not turn up.
But we also try not to arrange anything over an hour because of Char's health issues. There's always a slim chance that she'll have a flare up and have to cancel and we can't imagine telling someone who's two hours into a three hour trip that we have to postpone. Or what if they don't check their messages till they're here? |
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"Different people are different.
That being said, I find that distance increases pressure. I'd always say no to someone from, say, Lerwick, because "I've come all this way" and "it'd be a shame if this was a waste of time". People want a return on the investment on travel time. "
I feel exactly the same about this, so I usually just say they are too far and don't entertain it. |
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"We were messaging a couple and they said that we were too far away from them, even though they are only 30 minutes drive away and we were willing to drive to theirs, strange?"
I don't like people travelling too far to see me because it tends to breed expectations after they've 'come all this way.' Could be that. Could just be they're not into you and don't want to say they just don't find you attractive. Could be they want people who can be there faster.
"Also we have noticed that guys that are an hour away seem to be more likely to turn up at ours than someone who's more local, what gives? "
Don't shit where you eat. Travelling an hour away means you're much less likely to bang someone who knows someone who knows your Mrs. If you've developed a reputation among your neighbours then the neighbours won't be able to gossip about them personally because they won't know who they are that far away. More travelling is better for anonymity. Actually another reason why I don't like people travelling far to me 💜 |
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Too far is subjective as hell.
Fir us it's an hour round trip to the shops, well decent ones, there are more local. We drive a lot fir the business too, 6 hours each way sometimes.
So we tend not to worry about distance.
But we have noticed that city dwellers in particular are reluctant to travel. Perhaps because it takes an hour to get to the end of the road they live on, perhaps because they live a life of convenience and see anything further than the doorstop as a distance.
We met a woman once at her house, as she couldn't drive at night unless there were street lamps. God if we had street lamps I'd smash them so I could see the stars |
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I've literally just had a similar conversation it seems to be people I'm actually attracted to are miles away and it's not fair... Like I will travel... But when it's longer than 3 hours on public transport for half an hour it's not really worth it |
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You just have to respect individual differences and preferences. We don't need to evaluate why, as everyone is so different, will have different family arrangements, past experience, work commitments, etc.
It can sometimes be helpful to specify your rules but some will ignore them  |
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I once traveled down to the south west..approx 300 miles to see a "friend" while on a spontaneous holiday..
Turned a corner..bumped in to an old school friend & a neighbour..so much for playing under the radar!!! |
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"We were messaging a couple and they said that we were too far away from them, even though they are only 30 minutes drive away and we were willing to drive to theirs, strange?
Also we have noticed that guys that are an hour away seem to be more likely to turn up at ours than someone who's more local, what gives? "
A 30 minute drive in London can easily turn in to over an hour duebto traffic chaos and 2 hours by public transport.
Sometimes I just cycle to one of my partners and shower when I get there. The traffic is that bad.
The club social I go to runs from 7.30 pm to 2.00am so people have an opportunity to go home early or turn up late....because...London. |
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We would very rarely play locally. For discretion's sake we play on our frequent travels - a weekend away can become a real occasion! It doesn't raise expectations for us - because we're enjoying a lovely tima way at the very least, so never any need for any of us or playmates to feel in any way obliged. It works for us xx |
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