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Blocked by multiple women
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I've posted about this topic before and I was told it wasn't unusual to be randomly blocked by other forum users you've never interacted with, but is this really the case?
I'm nosey and love reading profiles and learning a little about others, but on two or three occasions I've clicked on profiles to find I've been blocked. I very rarely get messaged by women so it's nothing to do with being messaged and not receiving a response. I'm never unpleasant in the forums so I don't understand why someone would go out of their way to block me or others who aren't unpleasant.
I know people will say that it shouldn't bother me what strangers think, but I'm really keen find women to be friends with on Fab ( just socially) and the more this happens the more paranoid I am that I'm not welcome here. A lot of forumites attend the socials and I thought they would be an inclusive bunch, but it seems very cliquey, particularly with women.
I feel like I'll never be able to attend socials because nobody will want me there.
Has any other woman had an issue with multiple people from the forums blocking you? I really don't see the point as I very rarely messaged first and am unlikely to hassle anyone. I'm just fed up of feeling unwelcome by so many and it seems to be women more than men ( although it's happened with men.)
One thing I would say is that people need to be more tolerant of neurodivergence, including those that are neurodivergent themselves. We all struggle with it in different ways. I'm very honest and an overthinker as you can tell by this post.
I'm genuinely curious and this isn't a post for sympathy or compliments, I just want to know if I'm the only one struggling with the same sex on here.
Polite responses appreciated.  |
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We have been blocked by multiple people of all genders.
Some block because you're nearby, some they've looked at your profile and aren't interested, there are all sorts reasons and most of them aren't anything to do with you personally and everything to do with how they want to use the site.
It's really helpful, if you can, to concentrate on profiles that haven't blocked you
I hope you achieve your goal of making friends |
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"We have been blocked by multiple people of all genders.
Some block because you're nearby, some they've looked at your profile and aren't interested, there are all sorts reasons and most of them aren't anything to do with you personally and everything to do with how they want to use the site.
It's really helpful, if you can, to concentrate on profiles that haven't blocked you
I hope you achieve your goal of making friends "
I guess I'm a very paranoid person and I've received a lot of vile abuse about my perceived personality so I worry about people bitching and trying to warn others to avoid me as this has happened in the past.
Knowing some of these people attend the socials closest to me is another reason as when I started using the forums on this account I was hoping to push myself to go to one ( I don't socialise enough.)
Perhapa you're right and it isn't based on perceived personality; I'm just going on previous experience.
Thanks for the insight! |
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By *lan157Man 7 days ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
I was blocked by someone who commented in the same forum topic years ago . I had no direct conversation or message with that person . I was perplexed . I can only think they felt uncomfortable with someone who held a different view to theirs. I expect they block people routinely. They are regulars in forums and I enjoy their posts even if I don't have the opportunity to see the profile behind the posts |
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Hey OP
I block for so many reasons, content in pics or bio content I'm not personally into, attitude on the forums, live too near or cringey status's
I've never interacted with the people, I look at it as if I'm saving time for the future possible block lol
❤️ |
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I think it's more important to focus on how to use sites like this and remain relaxed, as they will potentially contain many triggers away from peace and harmony of mind.
If we use the forum, many can naturally find their opinions different from ours and they want to block, to prevent interaction. The reasons for blocking are huge and it's not relevant if they have decided we're not right for them. The opportunities rest with those who haven't.
But lots of things here and online can hit stability of wellbeing, so beware |
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OP I block pretty much all profiles of that live close to me. It is nothing personal I just don't want to people I may know seeing my profile.
The majority of profiles I block are generally men, and that is because I have looked at the profile and something put me off or they post a crude status update or occasionally views in forums.
Then of course there are the people I block due to their messages etc
None of it is personal. It is just reducing down the pool of people to potentially interact with when I choose to put my profile public.
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By *essTTWoman 7 days ago
Birmingham |
I block people on the forums who post offensive comments or comments that I dont align with, regaedless of wherher ive personally interacted with them or not, this way its easier for me to make sure that I don't accidently interact with them in the future. |
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By *WB85Man 7 days ago
Staffordshire |
Theres lots of reasons for it and its very common.
If your preferences dont align, if you arent their type....whatever really.
I do it a lot as I hate repeatedly clicking profiles that want different things.
I've also been blocked by people I know from my regular life.
The compatible people won't block you, and thats all that matters.
Wishing you all the best with your journey.
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"I've posted about this topic before and I was told it wasn't unusual to be randomly blocked by other forum users you've never interacted with, but is this really the case?
I'm nosey and love reading profiles and learning a little about others, but on two or three occasions I've clicked on profiles to find I've been blocked. I very rarely get messaged by women so it's nothing to do with being messaged and not receiving a response. I'm never unpleasant in the forums so I don't understand why someone would go out of their way to block me or others who aren't unpleasant.
I know people will say that it shouldn't bother me what strangers think, but I'm really keen find women to be friends with on Fab ( just socially) and the more this happens the more paranoid I am that I'm not welcome here. A lot of forumites attend the socials and I thought they would be an inclusive bunch, but it seems very cliquey, particularly with women.
I feel like I'll never be able to attend socials because nobody will want me there.
Has any other woman had an issue with multiple people from the forums blocking you? I really don't see the point as I very rarely messaged first and am unlikely to hassle anyone. I'm just fed up of feeling unwelcome by so many and it seems to be women more than men ( although it's happened with men.)
One thing I would say is that people need to be more tolerant of neurodivergence, including those that are neurodivergent themselves. We all struggle with it in different ways. I'm very honest and an overthinker as you can tell by this post.
I'm genuinely curious and this isn't a post for sympathy or compliments, I just want to know if I'm the only one struggling with the same sex on here.
Polite responses appreciated. "
I suffer from blockages myself been here that long I just accept it and move on. |
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I know a few people that use it as a filter. I’ve checked this profile, I’m not interested, block. Personally that just shows that the site is very, very overdue for some big changes. I’ve been here well over a decade and hardly anything has changed.
Others will block because they just don’t like the look, feel threatened, or you’re too close to them personally speaking.
It is always annoying when you search for somebody and think they look good then you get “blocked”, because it makes you think you e done something.
Don’t worry, it happens sadly.
Like k said though it wouldn’t hurt for some new changes to the site. |
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I have blocked people for reason such as
I recognised them.
They live too close.
I didnt like something on their status so I know we wouldn't get on. (Same applies to stuff posted on forums)
I have read their profile and know we wouldn't click.
And these are just the reasons I can think of quickly.
Nothing personal to these people but just not for me.
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By *essTTWoman 7 days ago
Birmingham |
"I know a few people that use it as a filter. I’ve checked this profile, I’m not interested, block. Personally that just shows that the site is very, very overdue for some big changes. I’ve been here well over a decade and hardly anything has changed.
Others will block because they just don’t like the look, feel threatened, or you’re too close to them personally speaking.
It is always annoying when you search for somebody and think they look good then you get “blocked”, because it makes you think you e done something.
Don’t worry, it happens sadly.
Like k said though it wouldn’t hurt for some new changes to the site."
How would changes to the site affect people blocking those theyre are not interested in? |
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As I said, some people use it as a filter so that they don’t keep clicking on the same profile and not knowing if they were interested.
A simple change, such as a banner that displayed on a profile you have no interest in, is an easy UI adaption and would stop the need to block people just for this purpose. |
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By *essTTWoman 7 days ago
Birmingham |
"As I said, some people use it as a filter so that they don’t keep clicking on the same profile and not knowing if they were interested.
A simple change, such as a banner that displayed on a profile you have no interest in, is an easy UI adaption and would stop the need to block people just for this purpose."
What difference would that make? If someone's not interested they're not interested, why would the site need to put a banner up when people can just block?
And who's to say that even if the site put a banner up that people still wouldn't use the block function?
If I'm not interested in someone I block so I don't have to see anything to with them, would be actually pointless to have a banner on their page to say I'm not interested yet still be able to see them on updates |
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Because not interested, notes, things that are are useful.
You personally may not want to see the person. But that may not mean others share the same viewpoint.
It was simply a suggestion, of which there are many. The site is long overdue an update in many areas. |
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By *essTTWoman 7 days ago
Birmingham |
"Because not interested, notes, things that are are useful.
You personally may not want to see the person. But that may not mean others share the same viewpoint.
It was simply a suggestion, of which there are many. The site is long overdue an update in many areas."
Others that use the block function do share the same viewpoint or they wouldn't block people..... |
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We kinda already established the block function is used for lots of reasons, not just because of one.
As a UI designer myself, I know the value of giving your users options.
Neither view point is wrong, and you’re more than welcome to use the block however you wish, that’s the point of it! In giving giving alternatives is all. |
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People block for many reasons, don't take it to heart.
I block forum users because I often let my site supporter lapse so my private notes disappear. Block is a simple way to know there's no point interacting with that person 💜 |
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We have found similar that we go to click on a profile based on a forum comment and we have been blocked yet never chatted before, same as we sometimes block people to save them ever messaging us in the first place. Please don’t take it to heart, have had a good nosy of your profile and it’s long but reads well and is interesting and you have a lovely figure that’s meant as a compliment not as a creepy comment so I hope it’s taken as intended |
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Yep happens all the time. I block people who read and delete my messages
Or just delete my messages without looking, it clearly shows they aren't interested so I block so as not to bother them again. Also if a message goes unread for 7 days or more I will block them too. Just a way of filtering. |
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By *eliWoman 6 days ago
. |
I might think I'm pleasant, others will disagree with that. People block for so many reasons but essentially what it's coming down to is - I don't think I'm compatible with this person.
Every single person on here will have people they're not compatible with for whatever reason.
Women on the forums aren't cliquey because they block you. They don't want to interact with you beyond forum posts and that's absolutely fine. I think if we can accept that single men aren't owed a reply, we should be able to accept that single women can be blocked.
At socials there are lots of people, size dependent.
If you want to feel more involved in the forum, get stuck in on threads. Reply to people. Less inwards focusing on the why nots etc and more trying to make human connection even on something daft.
As an aside and it might sound harsher than intended - it's not meant to. I think we can overthink and take things a lot more personally than is meant. You won't reply to every poster on this thread, does that mean they're all being ignored? No, that would be daft. |
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Maybe some people block so you don’t keep coming in the searches, I’ve blocked people who look at my profile then ignore messages I sent to connect
I hate it when people ask a fave photo then block you I block them after
Good luck in your search and don’t take it too personally |
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"I block people on the forums who post offensive comments or comments that I dont align with, regaedless of wherher ive personally interacted with them or not, this way its easier for me to make sure that I don't accidently interact with them in the future."
This. I do the same thing. Its a safety thing. People can be terrible so it's just an early level of screening just in case. |
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"I've posted about this topic before and I was told it wasn't unusual to be randomly blocked by other forum users you've never interacted with, but is this really the case?
I'm nosey and love reading profiles and learning a little about others, but on two or three occasions I've clicked on profiles to find I've been blocked. I very rarely get messaged by women so it's nothing to do with being messaged and not receiving a response. I'm never unpleasant in the forums so I don't understand why someone would go out of their way to block me or others who aren't unpleasant.
I know people will say that it shouldn't bother me what strangers think, but I'm really keen find women to be friends with on Fab ( just socially) and the more this happens the more paranoid I am that I'm not welcome here. A lot of forumites attend the socials and I thought they would be an inclusive bunch, but it seems very cliquey, particularly with women.
I feel like I'll never be able to attend socials because nobody will want me there.
Has any other woman had an issue with multiple people from the forums blocking you? I really don't see the point as I very rarely messaged first and am unlikely to hassle anyone. I'm just fed up of feeling unwelcome by so many and it seems to be women more than men ( although it's happened with men.)
One thing I would say is that people need to be more tolerant of neurodivergence, including those that are neurodivergent themselves. We all struggle with it in different ways. I'm very honest and an overthinker as you can tell by this post.
I'm genuinely curious and this isn't a post for sympathy or compliments, I just want to know if I'm the only one struggling with the same sex on here.
Polite responses appreciated. "
Hi. I tried to private message this but your filter wouldn't allow it. I want to discuss this and hope posting publicly is okay.
A lot of what you describe is reminiscent of rejection sensitivity dysphoria. And whilst it's not scientifically proven, I'm yet to find something in it that isn't true.
It's estimated that ND people suffer tens of thousands more criticisms as a child than NT people. We are biologically wired to look for threats and patterns.
It takes a lot (a LOT) for some to come forward. The fear of judgement and rejection is such that even by sharing this question, as you have, you have faced it.
I have found over the years that the spiral of overthinking is understood by others who do it. I have spoken to people who have clarified and clarified, and apologised and apologised, when none was required. And i am just as guilty as anyone of doing the same.
I think that what you'll find (I'm making an assumption that you haven't already), is when people get to know you they are by default forgiving of the traits that you feel you need forgiveness for, but don't actually need to bw forgiven for at all.
People block people all the time. I must have a million accounts blocked. Most of them because logically I'll never meet them, or I'm not what they're looking for etc. I'm not judging them. It's just logistics.
Looking at it like that, I'm fine being blocked too |
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By *essTTWoman 4 days ago
Birmingham |
"I've posted about this topic before and I was told it wasn't unusual to be randomly blocked by other forum users you've never interacted with, but is this really the case?
I'm nosey and love reading profiles and learning a little about others, but on two or three occasions I've clicked on profiles to find I've been blocked. I very rarely get messaged by women so it's nothing to do with being messaged and not receiving a response. I'm never unpleasant in the forums so I don't understand why someone would go out of their way to block me or others who aren't unpleasant.
I know people will say that it shouldn't bother me what strangers think, but I'm really keen find women to be friends with on Fab ( just socially) and the more this happens the more paranoid I am that I'm not welcome here. A lot of forumites attend the socials and I thought they would be an inclusive bunch, but it seems very cliquey, particularly with women.
I feel like I'll never be able to attend socials because nobody will want me there.
Has any other woman had an issue with multiple people from the forums blocking you? I really don't see the point as I very rarely messaged first and am unlikely to hassle anyone. I'm just fed up of feeling unwelcome by so many and it seems to be women more than men ( although it's happened with men.)
One thing I would say is that people need to be more tolerant of neurodivergence, including those that are neurodivergent themselves. We all struggle with it in different ways. I'm very honest and an overthinker as you can tell by this post.
I'm genuinely curious and this isn't a post for sympathy or compliments, I just want to know if I'm the only one struggling with the same sex on here.
Polite responses appreciated.
Hi. I tried to private message this but your filter wouldn't allow it. I want to discuss this and hope posting publicly is okay.
A lot of what you describe is reminiscent of rejection sensitivity dysphoria. And whilst it's not scientifically proven, I'm yet to find something in it that isn't true.
It's estimated that ND people suffer tens of thousands more criticisms as a child than NT people. We are biologically wired to look for threats and patterns.
It takes a lot (a LOT) for some to come forward. The fear of judgement and rejection is such that even by sharing this question, as you have, you have faced it.
I have found over the years that the spiral of overthinking is understood by others who do it. I have spoken to people who have clarified and clarified, and apologised and apologised, when none was required. And i am just as guilty as anyone of doing the same.
I think that what you'll find (I'm making an assumption that you haven't already), is when people get to know you they are by default forgiving of the traits that you feel you need forgiveness for, but don't actually need to bw forgiven for at all.
People block people all the time. I must have a million accounts blocked. Most of them because logically I'll never meet them, or I'm not what they're looking for etc. I'm not judging them. It's just logistics.
Looking at it like that, I'm fine being blocked too "
Why would this need to be posted privately? |
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Because Op didn't mention RSD but displayed it.
The very nature of RSD means public knowledge about oneself could be triggering. Sending the info privately gives her the opportunity to discover the information herself, and not be 'outed', for want of a better word.
By mentioning i tried to send it privately, at least op knows i tried to apply some sensitivity. |
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By *AngelXWoman 4 days ago
North East |
Not sure if I've ever been blocked by anyone on the forums but I regularly block anyone from my home City who messages, winks or views my profile. I choose to keep this side of my life private and won't meet anyone too close to home. |
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"I've posted about this topic before and I was told it wasn't unusual to be randomly blocked by other forum users you've never interacted with, but is this really the case?
I'm nosey and love reading profiles and learning a little about others, but on two or three occasions I've clicked on profiles to find I've been blocked. I very rarely get messaged by women so it's nothing to do with being messaged and not receiving a response. I'm never unpleasant in the forums so I don't understand why someone would go out of their way to block me or others who aren't unpleasant.
I know people will say that it shouldn't bother me what strangers think, but I'm really keen find women to be friends with on Fab ( just socially) and the more this happens the more paranoid I am that I'm not welcome here. A lot of forumites attend the socials and I thought they would be an inclusive bunch, but it seems very cliquey, particularly with women.
I feel like I'll never be able to attend socials because nobody will want me there.
Has any other woman had an issue with multiple people from the forums blocking you? I really don't see the point as I very rarely messaged first and am unlikely to hassle anyone. I'm just fed up of feeling unwelcome by so many and it seems to be women more than men ( although it's happened with men.)
One thing I would say is that people need to be more tolerant of neurodivergence, including those that are neurodivergent themselves. We all struggle with it in different ways. I'm very honest and an overthinker as you can tell by this post.
I'm genuinely curious and this isn't a post for sympathy or compliments, I just want to know if I'm the only one struggling with the same sex on here.
Polite responses appreciated. "
It may be your profile it’s very how do you say direct it could be softer ? I don’t drive , I won’t meet anyone on here unless very handsome, muscular ect ect . I get everyone has their type and that’s fine but your profile sounds a bit entitled |
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Yes, people will block you even having no interaction. Don't take it personally. Maybe people see something on a profile, in a photo or you (me) are just not their type, maybe something wrote or a comment in the forum. It can be for any reason, don't let it ruin your day move on and enjoy life.  |
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People block for loads of reasons. In my experience forum people tend to block you when you say something they disagree with. You can generally tell when it happens because they can be fine for a long time and then you give an unacceptable opinion and you are now persona non grata. C’est la vie. Life is too short to worry about people who don’t like others opinions. |
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By *enelope2UWoman 4 days ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"I've posted about this topic before and I was told it wasn't unusual to be randomly blocked by other forum users you've never interacted with, but is this really the case?
I'm nosey and love reading profiles and learning a little about others, but on two or three occasions I've clicked on profiles to find I've been blocked. I very rarely get messaged by women so it's nothing to do with being messaged and not receiving a response. I'm never unpleasant in the forums so I don't understand why someone would go out of their way to block me or others who aren't unpleasant.
I know people will say that it shouldn't bother me what strangers think, but I'm really keen find women to be friends with on Fab ( just socially) and the more this happens the more paranoid I am that I'm not welcome here. A lot of forumites attend the socials and I thought they would be an inclusive bunch, but it seems very cliquey, particularly with women.
I feel like I'll never be able to attend socials because nobody will want me there.
Has any other woman had an issue with multiple people from the forums blocking you? I really don't see the point as I very rarely messaged first and am unlikely to hassle anyone. I'm just fed up of feeling unwelcome by so many and it seems to be women more than men ( although it's happened with men.)
One thing I would say is that people need to be more tolerant of neurodivergence, including those that are neurodivergent themselves. We all struggle with it in different ways. I'm very honest and an overthinker as you can tell by this post.
I'm genuinely curious and this isn't a post for sympathy or compliments, I just want to know if I'm the only one struggling with the same sex on here.
Polite responses appreciated. "
I just had a read!! love your profile so it's likely it's the directness and self assured personality that the weak aren't used to.. keep being direct and confident it scatters the nons away.... |
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I was blocked by someone who demanded my face photo the other day. I declined. Tbf that was a red flag potential black male waiting to happen. Glad she is not in my friends.
No one should be made to feel uncomfortable with creating boundaries for personal reasons. |
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I think I’ve blocked all women from messaging me, not sure if that means they can’t view my profile (which is currently hidden from everyone right now) or not.
This was done due to an experience with a lady on a site I was on before here, who messaged me to grill me as to my intentions regarding a man she had her eyes on, and who had commented on one of my posts on the site forum.
She then turned into a royal pain in the bum.
So when I joined here, I thought I’d just block women from messaging as it was just easier. I keep myself to myself anyway.
If I have blocked a profile from viewing me then that’s different, they are either too close (small world!) or said something on a status or forum post that’s made me bite my tongue and sit on my fingers. It’s just easier.
It’s not personal as such as they may well be lovely really. It’s just an admin exercise I guess. |
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If I was local I would happy to be social with you and I don’t mean to get anything out of it I just don’t have a social life really and I like getting to know people.
I have blocked some women but that’s only because they are local and I have a feeling we know similar people, they aren’t so discreet in my area so I block. I wouldn’t take it personally |
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Oh and I’ve stopped women from messaging now because I think most are men pretending to be women and I’ve had one women wanting me to block her man because I’m his type and didn’t want him messaging me and also some woman who messaged me to slag off my friend that I’ve known for 20+ years and this woman didn’t even know her. Would just be nice to have some female friends without complications |
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I'll be honest & say I've blocked ppl ( m+w ) for things that they've said in forums. Might sound petty to some, but if I don't like the sound in the forums it's highly unlikely I'll like them in real life. I'm positive it's happened in reverse too, but at the end of the day we all run our accounts as we see fit.
The block button is there for many reasons, it's totally up to you how you use it.
I wouldn't go over reading into it to much. Xx |
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I've blocked people from the forums, only if they've made offensive comments or just not my type of person.
I do find that some people in the forum are cliquey but that's just people for you.
I wouldn't worry too much, you'll find a few friends that you can do things with.
It took me a while but I have a couple of female friends that I really like going to clubs with. They don't come into the forums though. |
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"I've blocked people from the forums, only if they've made offensive comments or just not my type of person.
I do find that some people in the forum are cliquey but that's just people for you.
I wouldn't worry too much, you'll find a few friends that you can do things with.
It took me a while but I have a couple of female friends that I really like going to clubs with. They don't come into the forums though. "
Forum is a funny place and whilst entertaining and useful at times I'm not sure it is that representative of the broader Fab/swinging world. I've met hundreds of people over the years as single and couple and maybe 10 max ever even went on Forum never mind post regularly. |
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