FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How to mend a broken heart
How to mend a broken heart
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
I feel in love and got my heart broken 
I've been on here mostly as a single woman and have had a few short relationships here and there, but my most recent one I genuinely fell in love. People said we were great together and finally thought I had what most swinging couples had, to share their swinging experiences, I didn't even meet one on one with anyone else.
I've hidden my profile and exited all WhatsApp and kik groups I'm in and had stopped any parties and attending any events, even thinking of cancelling all the stuff I organise... I'm just numb at the moment I didn't even go to work today... hard to be cheerful in front of cancer patients when all you want to do is cry...
Anyone had this sort of feeling? I just want to not feel this way anymore... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear that.
It's been almost a year for me since my fiancee of a year and half (my first girlfriend too) broke up with me and it still hasn't got any easier. I'm not sure it ever will either. I'm still in love with her and I keep hoping we'll get back together even though I know deep down it will never happen. But hope is the only thing keeping me going.
I don't have any advice, just know that you're not alone and my inbox is always open if you need to talk. I'm not being a chancer by the way, I mean that sincerely. |
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By *oresexMan
over a year ago
South West coast |
Sorry not got any clever words to help out, life can be a bitch sometimes, but when your feeling down just give a little whistle and things can always turn out for the best, (all together now) always look on the bright side of life, (not taking the piss, just trying to make you smile)  |
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Sorry to hear that.
There’s never a quick fix to mend a broken heart. People will tell you various different things to help but as people we’re all individual and as such different things help us get through it.
Personally I find keeping busy helps me. I usually throw myself into work, arrange things with friends, do sports / activities I enjoy.
Like I said different things work for different people. Try not to hold onto the past or feel guilty for moving on.
Give yourself time, space and focus on you.
Hope that helps. If you want to chat further feel free to get in touch.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel in love and got my heart broken
I've been on here mostly as a single woman and have had a few short relationships here and there, but my most recent one I genuinely fell in love. People said we were great together and finally thought I had what most swinging couples had, to share their swinging experiences, I didn't even meet one on one with anyone else.
I've hidden my profile and exited all WhatsApp and kik groups I'm in and had stopped any parties and attending any events, even thinking of cancelling all the stuff I organise... I'm just numb at the moment I didn't even go to work today... hard to be cheerful in front of cancer patients when all you want to do is cry...
Anyone had this sort of feeling? I just want to not feel this way anymore..."
There is no hidden quick fix. Love is one of lifes greatest ever drug and when you get off it cold turkey the withdrawl is intense. Do other things that make you happy, go out with friends, go to the theatre. Go to an animal shelter and roll around with puppies or kittens. Life is how you live it... so go on Live  |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
Swaying between feeling numb and empty to crying and empty... I wish I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve, letting people into your heart and getting hurt, leads to you not wanting to trust anyone... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swaying between feeling numb and empty to crying and empty... I wish I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve, letting people into your heart and getting hurt, leads to you not wanting to trust anyone... "
Yep, that's pretty much what I feel. Empty. I spend most of my days crying, begging for some sort of sign everything is gonna work out or sleeping so I don't have to think.
In regards to trusting people I agree. I'm not gonna open myself up to anyone again. I won't let them in just so I can spare myself the pain of being hurt again.
Everyone tells you things will get better and you'll move on, but it's really bloody hard to when you still love the person. |
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By *apstarMan
over a year ago
Harpenden |
"Swaying between feeling numb and empty to crying and empty... I wish I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve, letting people into your heart and getting hurt, leads to you not wanting to trust anyone... "
Is horrible and hurts like he'll but you are stronger than you think . You will learn 2 love again ( sang that bit ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Time is no healer the pain just gets worse you just learn to live with it is all. Head up and keep your heart on you sleeve so someone else can pick up the peices and put it back together.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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love
its a big word
we love life
love our family
love our pets
fall in and out of love
when you marry your told to repeat love honour and cherish till death us do part. then get divorced and hate that person...
it depends how you deal with it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many people say they fall in love on here, and have a fantastic relationship, swinging with other, but look at your words, you stopped meeting, deleted stuff, meaning you wanted to be exclusive?????? Im only going on what you said, please dont take me the wrong way, but im just a single on here, inbetween relationships, if you love someone deeply, why would you want to share the experience of sex with someone else, i dont understand. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
Sorry for your pain Mae, sending hugs and cuddles.
I put trust in fate, if it was meant to be it will be, and if not there is a reason. That's what helps me through when stuff slices you up.
There's a fabulous book that has helped many of my friends and myself in painful times.
Its called, "Its called a Breakup because its Broken", and although numerous, it has some great tips, and is well written and worth s read.
I hope it does pass quickly and you feel better soon.
Try not to put your heart away though, the right one may come along and help you piece it together, when the time is right.
Xoxoxo |
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By *apstarMan
over a year ago
Harpenden |
"Sorry for your pain Mae, sending hugs and cuddles.
I put trust in fate, if it was meant to be it will be, and if not there is a reason. That's what helps me through when stuff slices you up.
There's a fabulous book that has helped many of my friends and myself in painful times.
Its called, "Its called a Breakup because its Broken", and although numerous, it has some great tips, and is well written and worth s read.
I hope it does pass quickly and you feel better soon.
Try not to put your heart away though, the right one may come along and help you piece it together, when the time is right.
Xoxoxo"
Awsome advice beautiful I hope you are well |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
" Many people say they fall in love on here, and have a fantastic relationship, swinging with other, but look at your words, you stopped meeting, deleted stuff, meaning you wanted to be exclusive?????? Im only going on what you said, please dont take me the wrong way, but im just a single on here, inbetween relationships, if you love someone deeply, why would you want to share the experience of sex with someone else, i dont understand."
Okay, please read what I said again. I removed myself from the groups and hid my profile AFTER we broke up.
Swinging is sharing the experience with another person. I think you asking me that question is something you should ask all the married couples and other couples on this site.
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"Sorry for your pain Mae, sending hugs and cuddles.
I put trust in fate, if it was meant to be it will be, and if not there is a reason. That's what helps me through when stuff slices you up.
There's a fabulous book that has helped many of my friends and myself in painful times.
Its called, "Its called a Breakup because its Broken", and although numerous, it has some great tips, and is well written and worth s read.
I hope it does pass quickly and you feel better soon.
Try not to put your heart away though, the right one may come along and help you piece it together, when the time is right.
Xoxoxo"
Thanks lovely, you know somewhat some of what I'm saying and who I'm referring to. Leaving the Kik groups has made it easier to grieve and think things through, but eventually I hope to be back to my old self x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" Many people say they fall in love on here, and have a fantastic relationship, swinging with other, but look at your words, you stopped meeting, deleted stuff, meaning you wanted to be exclusive?????? Im only going on what you said, please dont take me the wrong way, but im just a single on here, inbetween relationships, if you love someone deeply, why would you want to share the experience of sex with someone else, i dont understand.
Okay, please read what I said again. I removed myself from the groups and hid my profile AFTER we broke up.
Swinging is sharing the experience with another person. I think you asking me that question is something you should ask all the married couples and other couples on this site.
"
Exactly |
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" Many people say they fall in love on here, and have a fantastic relationship, swinging with other, but look at your words, you stopped meeting, deleted stuff, meaning you wanted to be exclusive?????? Im only going on what you said, please dont take me the wrong way, but im just a single on here, inbetween relationships, if you love someone deeply, why would you want to share the experience of sex with someone else, i dont understand."
Er , are you really asking why anyone who loves someone deeply would want to share the experience of sex with someone else ?
You do know what site we are all on don’t you ?
Yes , fabswingers , a site for those who enjoy the liberating lifestyle that swinging offers . Swingers now embrace all sorts of people , but the essence of it is that jealousy and exclusivity are not synonymous with it .
Back to the op . I don’t know how you mend a broken heart , but it’s definitely a good idea to get straight back up , dust yourself down and get back to having a bloody good time again .
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a ferocious unrelenting beauty to life. Whilst the winds howl inside and the windows dull with dirty tears, outside a fierce inconsiderate sunset rages beautifully in the sky. Some say they feel numb in this state. But in truth they are on fire. Numbness is the dull forgetfulness of ordinary life, something you and most others wish you will return to soon. But, being a poet at heart, I believe we were made for more than that. Love and heartbreak are not so different. They both bring a depth to the night sky, making the stars burn richer in your soul, helping you to feel... really feel alive. It will pass and that comfortable numbness will return. But both love and heartbreak will be what you remember and treasure most when you recall your amazing story. Move on when you're ready. But for now maybe soak up the tingling vibrantly beautiful devastation of it all. Namaste xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Many people say they fall in love on here, and have a fantastic relationship, swinging with other, but look at your words, you stopped meeting, deleted stuff, meaning you wanted to be exclusive?????? Im only going on what you said, please dont take me the wrong way, but im just a single on here, inbetween relationships, if you love someone deeply, why would you want to share the experience of sex with someone else, i dont understand."
Nice to know what you think of couples.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Many people say they fall in love on here, and have a fantastic relationship, swinging with other, but look at your words, you stopped meeting, deleted stuff, meaning you wanted to be exclusive?????? Im only going on what you said, please dont take me the wrong way, but im just a single on here, inbetween relationships, if you love someone deeply, why would you want to share the experience of sex with someone else, i dont understand."
Someone has forgotten which site he's on
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Many people say they fall in love on here, and have a fantastic relationship, swinging with other, but look at your words, you stopped meeting, deleted stuff, meaning you wanted to be exclusive?????? Im only going on what you said, please dont take me the wrong way, but im just a single on here, inbetween relationships, if you love someone deeply, why would you want to share the experience of sex with someone else, i dont understand.
Someone has forgotten which site he's on
"
Youre a lady
Apologies |
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" Many people say they fall in love on here, and have a fantastic relationship, swinging with other, but look at your words, you stopped meeting, deleted stuff, meaning you wanted to be exclusive?????? Im only going on what you said, please dont take me the wrong way, but im just a single on here, inbetween relationships, if you love someone deeply, why would you want to share the experience of sex with someone else, i dont understand."
of course you don't ,do realise this a swinging site ?! Because is our life style ! My perfect partner would be someone who enjoys this life style . Is not all about sex ! As my new boyfriend is great in that department !
But we crave more !meet people who does not judge , holidays with freedom and fun ! Where people are open with each other ! We are on same page !
OP you are a beautiful lady ! Borken heart is difficult but think if that perdi hurt you , is because they don't love you ! You deserve all the love a guy can give you! I always think I am always first !I love myself and know how I want to be loved . I don't settle with little love !
Keep fighting ! Sending hugs xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Big hugs, just remember heart break is a part of life, you will grow stronger because of it and in years to come you will look back and think why did I let myself feel that way. |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"I feel in love and got my heart broken
I've been on here mostly as a single woman and have had a few short relationships here and there, but my most recent one I genuinely fell in love. People said we were great together and finally thought I had what most swinging couples had, to share their swinging experiences, I didn't even meet one on one with anyone else.
I've hidden my profile and exited all WhatsApp and kik groups I'm in and had stopped any parties and attending any events, even thinking of cancelling all the stuff I organise... I'm just numb at the moment I didn't even go to work today... hard to be cheerful in front of cancer patients when all you want to do is cry...
Anyone had this sort of feeling? I just want to not feel this way anymore..."
Nothing can mend a broken heart but time lessens the pain.
Live your life look to the future not the past and life will be bearable.
Feeling sorry for yourself will only prolong the agony.
Live life and enjoy the moments that will come into your life |
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The only fix is time....and even then we often retain some feelings for the person we fell in love with...and that's OK.
The initial feeling, especially when you've had your heart broken, is numbness often followed by sheer disbelief. It takes a little time to function in everyday life and usually longer before sexual desires and confidence come back.
But you'll get there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Many people say they fall in love on here, and have a fantastic relationship, swinging with other, but look at your words, you stopped meeting, deleted stuff, meaning you wanted to be exclusive?????? Im only going on what you said, please dont take me the wrong way, but im just a single on here, inbetween relationships, if you love someone deeply, why would you want to share the experience of sex with someone else, i dont understand."
.
So are you saying that all the couples on fab are not really in love with their partner ???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"times the biggest healer , one day you wake up and its gone
the best way is to have another man friend to take you mind off the one "
I know this isn't what you're saying, but a friend of mine told me shortly after my breakup that random shagging doesn't help, it just makes you feel worse.
Because I've yet to experience that for myself I don't know if it's true or not, but I'm inclined to believe he might be right.
I've never really had a one night stand, but from what I understand they leave you feeling empty. I don't see the appeal of them personally. I don't see why people actively go out in search for one. |
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" Many people say they fall in love on here, and have a fantastic relationship, swinging with other, but look at your words, you stopped meeting, deleted stuff, meaning you wanted to be exclusive?????? Im only going on what you said, please dont take me the wrong way, but im just a single on here, inbetween relationships, if you love someone deeply, why would you want to share the experience of sex with someone else, i dont understand."
If you love somebody deeply. Why would you not wish them to explore their sexuality to the full? Why wouldn't you feel joyous at the thought of them having wonderful experiences with other people as well as with yourself?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel in love and got my heart broken
I've been on here mostly as a single woman and have had a few short relationships here and there, but my most recent one I genuinely fell in love. People said we were great together and finally thought I had what most swinging couples had, to share their swinging experiences, I didn't even meet one on one with anyone else.
I've hidden my profile and exited all WhatsApp and kik groups I'm in and had stopped any parties and attending any events, even thinking of cancelling all the stuff I organise... I'm just numb at the moment I didn't even go to work today... hard to be cheerful in front of cancer patients when all you want to do is cry...
Anyone had this sort of feeling? I just want to not feel this way anymore..."
the way I have done it is to think about all the years you've been alive and how many of them was you with him . Its fuck all really is it ? You had fun times before you met him and you had fun times with him . Cool ??. Take the good bits, you know , the Fun bits and build on them by using what you've leant from that experience. It worked for me . But then I'm a fecking fruit lop . Nice one I may add |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
In time it will get better
I fell in love absolutely and completely with a man I met here. It was perfect. Until it wasn’t.
It’s taken me many months to start to feel vaguely ok. Mending takes time.
V x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It takes two years to totally get over somebody I have found. 6 months to learn to live with it but to see them with somebody else and not care it’s about two years. It gets easier each day tho so chin up x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel in love and got my heart broken
I've been on here mostly as a single woman and have had a few short relationships here and there, but my most recent one I genuinely fell in love. People said we were great together and finally thought I had what most swinging couples had, to share their swinging experiences, I didn't even meet one on one with anyone else.
I've hidden my profile and exited all WhatsApp and kik groups I'm in and had stopped any parties and attending any events, even thinking of cancelling all the stuff I organise... I'm just numb at the moment I didn't even go to work today... hard to be cheerful in front of cancer patients when all you want to do is cry...
Anyone had this sort of feeling? I just want to not feel this way anymore..."
been there, very recently, split after 7 years, the empty feeling will take time to go, as hard as it seems, life has to go on, and it will get better, took me a few months to come out of myself, but I got there, the hardest part is actually motivating yourself, no one can do that for you.
Best thing I can suggest is try and stay away from places you went together for the moment, remove anything that can remind you of him, make sure you eat, it's a bugger cooking for one but you need to.
For what it's worth, if you want to talk, please pm me.
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" Many people say they fall in love on here, and have a fantastic relationship, swinging with other, but look at your words, you stopped meeting, deleted stuff, meaning you wanted to be exclusive?????? Im only going on what you said, please dont take me the wrong way, but im just a single on here, inbetween relationships, if you love someone deeply, why would you want to share the experience of sex with someone else, i dont understand."
why would you even be on a swingers site with that attitude is what i dont understand
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel in love and got my heart broken
I've been on here mostly as a single woman and have had a few short relationships here and there, but my most recent one I genuinely fell in love. People said we were great together and finally thought I had what most swinging couples had, to share their swinging experiences, I didn't even meet one on one with anyone else.
I've hidden my profile and exited all WhatsApp and kik groups I'm in and had stopped any parties and attending any events, even thinking of cancelling all the stuff I organise... I'm just numb at the moment I didn't even go to work today... hard to be cheerful in front of cancer patients when all you want to do is cry...
Anyone had this sort of feeling? I just want to not feel this way anymore... been there, very recently, split after 7 years, the empty feeling will take time to go, as hard as it seems, life has to go on, and it will get better, took me a few months to come out of myself, but I got there, the hardest part is actually motivating yourself, no one can do that for you.
Best thing I can suggest is try and stay away from places you went together for the moment, remove anything that can remind you of him, make sure you eat, it's a bugger cooking for one but you need to.
For what it's worth, if you want to talk, please pm me.
"
In regards to staying away from places you went together with that's a hard one. Five Guys and Pizza Hut used to be our thing, but I can't go to them without feeling a little maudlin. I can't watch Spectre (James Bond) because it was the film we watched together on our first date.
I think the hardest thing is music. No one wants to stop listening to music that you and your ex liked. But it's fucking hard listening to it without thinking of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sending big hugs darling.
My coping strategy is pretty much what people above have said, give it time, spend time with friends, feel down in the dumps for a bit. Eventually you’ll feel better and be in a place to start dating again.
Oh and chocolate, lots of chocolate.
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel in love and got my heart broken
I've been on here mostly as a single woman and have had a few short relationships here and there, but my most recent one I genuinely fell in love. People said we were great together and finally thought I had what most swinging couples had, to share their swinging experiences, I didn't even meet one on one with anyone else.
I've hidden my profile and exited all WhatsApp and kik groups I'm in and had stopped any parties and attending any events, even thinking of cancelling all the stuff I organise... I'm just numb at the moment I didn't even go to work today... hard to be cheerful in front of cancer patients when all you want to do is cry...
Anyone had this sort of feeling? I just want to not feel this way anymore... been there, very recently, split after 7 years, the empty feeling will take time to go, as hard as it seems, life has to go on, and it will get better, took me a few months to come out of myself, but I got there, the hardest part is actually motivating yourself, no one can do that for you.
Best thing I can suggest is try and stay away from places you went together for the moment, remove anything that can remind you of him, make sure you eat, it's a bugger cooking for one but you need to.
For what it's worth, if you want to talk, please pm me.
In regards to staying away from places you went together with that's a hard one. Five Guys and Pizza Hut used to be our thing, but I can't go to them without feeling a little maudlin. I can't watch Spectre (James Bond) because it was the film we watched together on our first date.
I think the hardest thing is music. No one wants to stop listening to music that you and your ex liked. But it's fucking hard listening to it without thinking of them."
the only thing I can say there is some things you can't avoid, though it helps to go to new places, it will feel strange at first, but start to make new memories for yourself xxxxx |
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"I feel in love and got my heart broken
I've been on here mostly as a single woman and have had a few short relationships here and there, but my most recent one I genuinely fell in love. People said we were great together and finally thought I had what most swinging couples had, to share their swinging experiences, I didn't even meet one on one with anyone else.
I've hidden my profile and exited all WhatsApp and kik groups I'm in and had stopped any parties and attending any events, even thinking of cancelling all the stuff I organise... I'm just numb at the moment I didn't even go to work today... hard to be cheerful in front of cancer patients when all you want to do is cry...
Anyone had this sort of feeling? I just want to not feel this way anymore...
There is no hidden quick fix. Love is one of lifes greatest ever drug and when you get off it cold turkey the withdrawl is intense. Do other things that make you happy, go out with friends, go to the theatre. Go to an animal shelter and roll around with puppies or kittens. Life is how you live it... so go on Live "
This |
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I split after a ten year relationship. All the feels you are getting are completely normal. The despair the fears for the future and whatever ones are personal to you.
Take the time you need. Keep yourself busy. And you will come through when you are ready.
I threw myself into work and vanilla dating. I went on holiday but that was a dreadful idea as even though I was with friends I was alone inside.
But now I’m good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You were at VA last time, just come again.
Quote: stop feeling sorry for yourself but make / seek new adventures. Everytime you fall, you get up and rise higher than before.
Life is bitch accept it. Happened to me as well. No need to cry and hide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sending big hugs darling.
My coping strategy is pretty much what people above have said, give it time, spend time with friends, feel down in the dumps for a bit. Eventually you’ll feel better and be in a place to start dating again.
Oh and chocolate, lots of chocolate.
Xx"
Don't listen to her advise. It will make you weak. |
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Oh dear sounds like you’ve got it bad . Nobody walks your shoes or knows how you are really feeling . But one thing is for sure everyone has been through similar in their brief existence! Take the time to find the real you again as invariable everyone loses a bit of their own identity when in a relationship. Fill your time , join a gym or a class of some sorts . Immerse yourself in everything positive about your life and just how lucky you really are .... I don’t think this will be particularly difficult with the work you are involved in . Try to keep looking ahead  |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"You were at VA last time, just come again.
Quote: stop feeling sorry for yourself but make / seek new adventures. Everytime you fall, you get up and rise higher than before.
Life is bitch accept it. Happened to me as well. No need to cry and hide. "
Think I'm giving swinging a break for now. Not because I'm hiding and feeling sorry for myself, but because I need to be selfish and focus on me. The parties and clubs will all still be there, if I decide to come back. This is me seeking new adventures outside of swinging.
When something isn't fun anymore and doesn't give you joy, you just want to step back and reflect.
Enjoy CHIC at the VA this Saturday |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"Sending big hugs darling.
My coping strategy is pretty much what people above have said, give it time, spend time with friends, feel down in the dumps for a bit. Eventually you’ll feel better and be in a place to start dating again.
Oh and chocolate, lots of chocolate.
Xx
Don't listen to her advise. It will make you weak. "
Weak? The chocolate part might make me tubbier, but deffo not weak. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The best advice I was ever given was every time you have a good memory of them, try and find a bad one. It may be hard as when we are so in love we tend to ignore the negative, those annoying habits or any ways they let you down. But that leaves us with a rosy view of 'mr perfect' when they probably weren't. Don't dwell on the illusion. Was hard for me to do but it did help put things in perspective eventually. Just be kind to yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I fell for someone off here it lasted about a year I was madly in love with him and I thought I would marry him but the lies ruined it.
I hate liars what's the point in lying when we are swinger's.
You will get over him in time some people take ages to get over that special love.
Wasn't as bad for me I can cut my emotions off xx
Good luck OP x |
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You need to feel the pain. This is the brain processing the emotions and "getting better". Trust in the process that it will be better. As D:Ream once said "Things Can Only Get Better".
I normally book myself a weekend away. Or if the funds are there; a holiday. The excitement of booking something for yourself and not having to clear schedules or compromise with another is very cathartic! You are doing something for you! Alternatively, start a course and fill up your diary. Make sure you always have something to look forward to!
Take care x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Time does heal, but you must want it to. I assume you are young enough to meet someone else.Unlike me,it has been a long time since I had my heart broken and every day that goes by makes it more impossible to meet someone to share life with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You are pining over someone that only existed in your mind. The person you invested in, was not the person you thought they were. You are not missing that person, you are missing loving someone you thought that person was. You are missing what you thought was going to be your future. Don't do that. Your future is still yours. You will move on, and one day you will look back and wonder why you were so sad. |
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"I feel in love and got my heart broken
I've been on here mostly as a single woman and have had a few short relationships here and there, but my most recent one I genuinely fell in love. People said we were great together and finally thought I had what most swinging couples had, to share their swinging experiences, I didn't even meet one on one with anyone else.
I've hidden my profile and exited all WhatsApp and kik groups I'm in and had stopped any parties and attending any events, even thinking of cancelling all the stuff I organise... I'm just numb at the moment I didn't even go to work today... hard to be cheerful in front of cancer patients when all you want to do is cry...
Anyone had this sort of feeling? I just want to not feel this way anymore... been there, very recently, split after 7 years, the empty feeling will take time to go, as hard as it seems, life has to go on, and it will get better, took me a few months to come out of myself, but I got there, the hardest part is actually motivating yourself, no one can do that for you.
Best thing I can suggest is try and stay away from places you went together for the moment, remove anything that can remind you of him, make sure you eat, it's a bugger cooking for one but you need to.
For what it's worth, if you want to talk, please pm me.
In regards to staying away from places you went together with that's a hard one. Five Guys and Pizza Hut used to be our thing, but I can't go to them without feeling a little maudlin. I can't watch Spectre (James Bond) because it was the film we watched together on our first date.
I think the hardest thing is music. No one wants to stop listening to music that you and your ex liked. But it's fucking hard listening to it without thinking of them."
There comes a time when you have to dust yourself down and start living and planning for the future. Build yourself a hectic social life join new groups get new interests take pride in building a new me...join a gym fitness class run a marathon the world is your oyster. Don't waste anyone days of your life looking back....upwards and onwards....kick the shit out of the maudlin feeling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You were at VA last time, just come again.
Quote: stop feeling sorry for yourself but make / seek new adventures. Everytime you fall, you get up and rise higher than before.
Life is bitch accept it. Happened to me as well. No need to cry and hide.
Think I'm giving swinging a break for now. Not because I'm hiding and feeling sorry for myself, but because I need to be selfish and focus on me. The parties and clubs will all still be there, if I decide to come back. This is me seeking new adventures outside of swinging.
When something isn't fun anymore and doesn't give you joy, you just want to step back and reflect.
Enjoy CHIC at the VA this Saturday "
Sure it's up to you.
Coming to club doesn't necessarily means you have to play, you can socialise if you would like to.
You can meet lot of nice and sexy people like myself. Lol
Plus I heard and heard and heard that you have one of the best dancing moves once you start you don't stop. So come xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The best advice I was ever given was every time you have a good memory of them, try and find a bad one. It may be hard as when we are so in love we tend to ignore the negative, those annoying habits or any ways they let you down. But that leaves us with a rosy view of 'mr perfect' when they probably weren't. Don't dwell on the illusion. Was hard for me to do but it did help put things in perspective eventually. Just be kind to yourself. "
Don't listen to her. Because if you would purposely seek to find bad habits or attributes of someone you deeply loved then you will kind of disrespect yourself of being with someone that you had memory with.
So cherish, perish and seek new adventures. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I fell for someone off here it lasted about a year I was madly in love with him and I thought I would marry him but the lies ruined it.
I hate liars what's the point in lying when we are swinger's.
You will get over him in time some people take ages to get over that special love.
Wasn't as bad for me I can cut my emotions off xx
Good luck OP x"
Sorry to say but I am not surprise why this happened to you. You must be 1000 person who must have said met some one and wanted to marry here. Wtf
Sorry but this is swingers site not match.com, people are here with different aspect.
It's like going to mac donalds and expecting to be served _izza!!!
I hope you find the right person at right platform / place. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I fell for someone off here it lasted about a year I was madly in love with him and I thought I would marry him but the lies ruined it.
I hate liars what's the point in lying when we are swinger's.
You will get over him in time some people take ages to get over that special love.
Wasn't as bad for me I can cut my emotions off xx
Good luck OP x
Sorry to say but I am not surprise why this happened to you. You must be 1000 person who must have said met some one and wanted to marry here. Wtf
Sorry but this is swingers site not match.com, people are here with different aspect.
It's like going to mac donalds and expecting to be served _izza!!!
I hope you find the right person at right platform / place. Good luck "
Not everyone is looking for just sex and if you do meet someone here and hit it off then why not take it further? I’m very happily in a relationship with someone I met here and it’s no different at all to meeting anywhere else, in fact it’s better because we knew upfront that we’re both pervs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wasn't looking for a relationship but it started as a Daddy Dom / sub relationship that evolved over a year. Not everyone is just after a shag, I would rather get into a relationship on here than with a vanilla guy. You sort of know what your getting in the end my ex was just another fuck boy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I fell for someone off here it lasted about a year I was madly in love with him and I thought I would marry him but the lies ruined it.
I hate liars what's the point in lying when we are swinger's.
You will get over him in time some people take ages to get over that special love.
Wasn't as bad for me I can cut my emotions off xx
Good luck OP x
Sorry to say but I am not surprise why this happened to you. You must be 1000 person who must have said met some one and wanted to marry here. Wtf
Sorry but this is swingers site not match.com, people are here with different aspect.
It's like going to mac donalds and expecting to be served _izza!!!
I hope you find the right person at right platform / place. Good luck
Not everyone is looking for just sex and if you do meet someone here and hit it off then why not take it further? I’m very happily in a relationship with someone I met here and it’s no different at all to meeting anywhere else, in fact it’s better because we knew upfront that we’re both pervs "
I agree, not everyone may be looking for sex. But the reality is this is
- Website for sexual encounter
- majority are here to have sex and enjoy
- not to date
So if you meet someone "here" then it fails for any given reason, then don't cry just like you.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wasn't looking for a relationship but it started as a Daddy Dom / sub relationship that evolved over a year. Not everyone is just after a shag, I would rather get into a relationship on here than with a vanilla guy. You sort of know what your getting in the end my ex was just another fuck boy. "
So you are trying to say that you are not on "fab swingers" for sex, rather you are here to date. Well done!!!
I won't be surprise if you would expect to snow during summer season. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wasn't looking for a relationship but it started as a Daddy Dom / sub relationship that evolved over a year. Not everyone is just after a shag, I would rather get into a relationship on here than with a vanilla guy. You sort of know what your getting in the end my ex was just another fuck boy.
So you are trying to say that you are not on "fab swingers" for sex, rather you are here to date. Well done!!!
I won't be surprise if you would expect to snow during summer season. "
Why are you being a dick? Does it give some you sort of satisfaction of giving someone shit over their reasons for being on here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sid I don't need to tell you what I want or what I'm after.
I do what I want if you don't like it go cry somewhere else.
For the others I'm poly so yes I wanted a relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel in love and got my heart broken
I've been on here mostly as a single woman and have had a few short relationships here and there, but my most recent one I genuinely fell in love. People said we were great together and finally thought I had what most swinging couples had, to share their swinging experiences, I didn't even meet one on one with anyone else.
I've hidden my profile and exited all WhatsApp and kik groups I'm in and had stopped any parties and attending any events, even thinking of cancelling all the stuff I organise... I'm just numb at the moment I didn't even go to work today... hard to be cheerful in front of cancer patients when all you want to do is cry...
Anyone had this sort of feeling? I just want to not feel this way anymore..."
So sorry to hear that. It happened to me after nearly two years together to find we hafnt been as exclusive as i thought. But i have now been with this wonderful man for nearly a year and moved on. Still hurts but think about it less and less as time goes on.
Hope you feel better soon OP |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"I fell for someone off here it lasted about a year I was madly in love with him and I thought I would marry him but the lies ruined it.
I hate liars what's the point in lying when we are swinger's.
You will get over him in time some people take ages to get over that special love.
Wasn't as bad for me I can cut my emotions off xx
Good luck OP x
Sorry to say but I am not surprise why this happened to you. You must be 1000 person who must have said met some one and wanted to marry here. Wtf
Sorry but this is swingers site not match.com, people are here with different aspect.
It's like going to mac donalds and expecting to be served _izza!!!
I hope you find the right person at right platform / place. Good luck "
Okay sid, with your logic then those that go on sites like match.com or other dating sites, should only expect to find those interested in relationships on there? At the end of the day, people are people, so relationships do form including friendships no matter the site you are on. I don't think it's fair to judge a person on the way they meet someone they go into a relationship with. Not too long ago online dating was frowned upon. Things naturally develop between two people and that's the chemistry they have regardless of the origin of their paths crossing.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Really sorry to hear that life gone that way for you.. I wish I could say something constructive but I can't..
I very naughty had a long relationship with a friend of my wife's I know a really low thing to do but I won't bore you with the reasons why.. Any way had some issues at home with my children and it all went wrong and I lost my best friend and soul mate I see her out and about and it is a worse feeling than grief
All I can suggest is surround yourself with friends who understand and remember time is supposed to be a healer..also wine helps x
Thinking of you x |
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"I fell for someone off here it lasted about a year I was madly in love with him and I thought I would marry him but the lies ruined it.
I hate liars what's the point in lying when we are swinger's.
You will get over him in time some people take ages to get over that special love.
Wasn't as bad for me I can cut my emotions off xx
Good luck OP x
Sorry to say but I am not surprise why this happened to you. You must be 1000 person who must have said met some one and wanted to marry here. Wtf
Sorry but this is swingers site not match.com, people are here with different aspect.
It's like going to mac donalds and expecting to be served _izza!!!
I hope you find the right person at right platform / place. Good luck "
Swinging is primarily for couples. If you're single and want to get into a swinging relationship then where the hell else do you go. I don't think you really understand swinging at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I fell for someone off here it lasted about a year I was madly in love with him and I thought I would marry him but the lies ruined it.
I hate liars what's the point in lying when we are swinger's.
You will get over him in time some people take ages to get over that special love.
Wasn't as bad for me I can cut my emotions off xx
Good luck OP x
Sorry to say but I am not surprise why this happened to you. You must be 1000 person who must have said met some one and wanted to marry here. Wtf
Sorry but this is swingers site not match.com, people are here with different aspect.
It's like going to mac donalds and expecting to be served _izza!!!
I hope you find the right person at right platform / place. Good luck
Okay sid, with your logic then those that go on sites like match.com or other dating sites, should only expect to find those interested in relationships on there? At the end of the day, people are people, so relationships do form including friendships no matter the site you are on. I don't think it's fair to judge a person on the way they meet someone they go into a relationship with. Not too long ago online dating was frowned upon. Things naturally develop between two people and that's the chemistry they have regardless of the origin of their paths crossing.
"
I met the ex in a club and spent Monday - Friday with him that to me isn't an online relationship.
I need to spend time with the guy not just send dick/pussy pics to random fuck boys
Good to see there are open people still on fab
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I fell for someone off here it lasted about a year I was madly in love with him and I thought I would marry him but the lies ruined it.
I hate liars what's the point in lying when we are swinger's.
You will get over him in time some people take ages to get over that special love.
Wasn't as bad for me I can cut my emotions off xx
Good luck OP x
Sorry to say but I am not surprise why this happened to you. You must be 1000 person who must have said met some one and wanted to marry here. Wtf
Sorry but this is swingers site not match.com, people are here with different aspect.
It's like going to mac donalds and expecting to be served _izza!!!
I hope you find the right person at right platform / place. Good luck
Okay sid, with your logic then those that go on sites like match.com or other dating sites, should only expect to find those interested in relationships on there? At the end of the day, people are people, so relationships do form including friendships no matter the site you are on. I don't think it's fair to judge a person on the way they meet someone they go into a relationship with. Not too long ago online dating was frowned upon. Things naturally develop between two people and that's the chemistry they have regardless of the origin of their paths crossing.
I met the ex in a club and spent Monday - Friday with him that to me isn't an online relationship.
I need to spend time with the guy not just send dick/pussy pics to random fuck boys
Good to see there are open people still on fab
"
Yeah right !! Well done |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I fell for someone off here it lasted about a year I was madly in love with him and I thought I would marry him but the lies ruined it.
I hate liars what's the point in lying when we are swinger's.
You will get over him in time some people take ages to get over that special love.
Wasn't as bad for me I can cut my emotions off xx
Good luck OP x
Sorry to say but I am not surprise why this happened to you. You must be 1000 person who must have said met some one and wanted to marry here. Wtf
Sorry but this is swingers site not match.com, people are here with different aspect.
It's like going to mac donalds and expecting to be served _izza!!!
I hope you find the right person at right platform / place. Good luck
Okay sid, with your logic then those that go on sites like match.com or other dating sites, should only expect to find those interested in relationships on there? At the end of the day, people are people, so relationships do form including friendships no matter the site you are on. I don't think it's fair to judge a person on the way they meet someone they go into a relationship with. Not too long ago online dating was frowned upon. Things naturally develop between two people and that's the chemistry they have regardless of the origin of their paths crossing.
"
Mae all is okay. You are right. But come to VA without you it won't be fun.
It will be like Macdonalds with no BigMac burger (it's just an analogy btw) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wasn't looking for a relationship but it started as a Daddy Dom / sub relationship that evolved over a year. Not everyone is just after a shag, I would rather get into a relationship on here than with a vanilla guy. You sort of know what your getting in the end my ex was just another fuck boy.
So you are trying to say that you are not on "fab swingers" for sex, rather you are here to date. Well done!!!
I won't be surprise if you would expect to snow during summer season.
Why are you being a dick? Does it give some you sort of satisfaction of giving someone shit over their reasons for being on here?"
Dude - I think x box is good for you. |
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"Okay guys sorry If I offended, I get annoyed when people complaint for wrong reasons. But when it comes Mae she can say or do whatever she wants. "
Serious question, if you wanted to be in a swinging relationship, where would you look for a partner? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Okay guys sorry If I offended, I get annoyed when people complaint for wrong reasons. But when it comes Mae she can say or do whatever she wants.
Serious question, if you wanted to be in a swinging relationship, where would you look for a partner? "
Serious answer; in my basement. |
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By *ostafunMan
over a year ago
near ipswich |
Sorry to hear that know exactly how you feel but won't bull shit you you can't mend a broken heart well i couldn't its been fifteen years now and don't think I will ever fall in love again. I hope you have more luck that me.xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel in love and got my heart broken
I've been on here mostly as a single woman and have had a few short relationships here and there, but my most recent one I genuinely fell in love. People said we were great together and finally thought I had what most swinging couples had, to share their swinging experiences, I didn't even meet one on one with anyone else.
I've hidden my profile and exited all WhatsApp and kik groups I'm in and had stopped any parties and attending any events, even thinking of cancelling all the stuff I organise... I'm just numb at the moment I didn't even go to work today... hard to be cheerful in front of cancer patients when all you want to do is cry...
Anyone had this sort of feeling? I just want to not feel this way anymore..."
Hey I've fallen in love how can you avoid it you have feelings but some just don't want that they want sex sex and more sex no strings attached  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay guys sorry If I offended, I get annoyed when people complaint for wrong reasons. But when it comes Mae she can say or do whatever she wants. "
Sorry if our life experience annoys you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay guys sorry If I offended, I get annoyed when people complaint for wrong reasons. But when it comes Mae she can say or do whatever she wants.
Sorry if our life experience annoys you "
No, it annoys when you talk here. |
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" Many people say they fall in love on here, and have a fantastic relationship, swinging with other, but look at your words, you stopped meeting, deleted stuff, meaning you wanted to be exclusive?????? Im only going on what you said, please dont take me the wrong way, but im just a single on here, inbetween relationships, if you love someone deeply, why would you want to share the experience of sex with someone else, i dont understand."
You really don't understand swinging. Irrelevant to the Ops post, but I wouldn't want to be on a swinging site as a single, I'd rather find a girlfriend. |
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» Add a new message to this topic
Live is a biatch ,but don't let it stop u .
I've fallen too,it's hard I know ..but it will get better I promise u x