FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Should it be left as fantasy?
Should it be left as fantasy?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You're bi and in a hetro relationship, how to deal with the fact that you long to have a steamy evening or possibly ongoing regular fun with a woman but you are in a relationship, are happy and don't want to split to do this but yet don't want your man involved at all with you and the woman?
It's only a want right now and jasn't been executed so no nasty cyber trolls throwing accusations, thanks
Feel pulled with my sexual needs but do not want to hurt my partner, and before anyone asks, no he wouldn't be ok to just let me do it unless he was getting some.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d end my relationship if the ‘want’ was that strong. I wouldn’t cheat.
Have you tried speaking to him?
I play and my husband doesn’t. He has no desire to at all. It does happen. But it was also a decision he came to on his own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone is different. How do you know your OH wouldn't be happy to let you play alone with a woman?
If you have discussed is and he wasn't keen, that's fair enough, and you'll need to make a decision.
I wouldn't cheat, it will come back to bite you and ultimately affect your relationship. I wouldn't be able to look my OH in the eyes if he cheated, or if I cheated (even if he didn't know about it).
Perhaps you need to question your relationship. if your needs aren't met entirely, maybe it's time to consider moving on?
Best of luck. xx Niki
PS: I think many ladies are bi-curious and not comfortable with admitting it to themselves. |
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I think you need to talk to your partner because the way you present the dilemma is thus
1. Infidelity or
2. Unhappiness
Whether it should be a fantasy and not acted upon depends upon the level of desire you have to want to do this. If it was something you had never done, then I would urge caution. If you have done so previously and it formulates a 'need' then you and your partner will have to talk about the fact you both have individual needs.
On the matter of infidelity, I cannot advise, I know that this can be done for good reasons, but that the outcome is often explosive and life-changing.
My advice is to talk calmly and rationally and then evaluate that conversation to determine your actions. Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why would you allow yourself to sleep with another, though not your man? Surely that's what the definition of swinging is?
You do not own him, he can sleep with who he wants, when he wants. (The general opinion of most women on this site when it comes to women)
He may get off on watching you with another woman and not even wish to join in though. Your best bet is to speak with him about it and, not us? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're bi and in a hetro relationship, how to deal with the fact that you long to have a steamy evening or possibly ongoing regular fun with a woman but you are in a relationship, are happy and don't want to split to do this but yet don't want your man involved at all with you and the woman?
It's only a want right now and jasn't been executed so no nasty cyber trolls throwing accusations, thanks
Feel pulled with my sexual needs but do not want to hurt my partner, and before anyone asks, no he wouldn't be ok to just let me do it unless he was getting some.
"
The boundaries of your relationship are very relevant to any advise that might be given OP.
You suggest he might be okay with it if he were also involved. Do you both swing together ?... and if so, if he's ok with you sleeping with others ( all be it only when he's also involved ), it puts a different spin on his objection to what you want.
If you have always been in a monogamous relaionship, that's another story.
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I think the decisions you've made within your relationship come first, which is what you state. If I could not negotiate an alternative arrangement, such as slop exploration, then it would remain an unexplored interest. But I would communicate and determine what we could agree, if potentially both of us are open to compromise.
It depends on how big the need is and how flexible you both may have to be to change the status quo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Curious to know what you are doing on fab if you don't want to do anything with anyone? Not being funny, there are a few reasons why you could be on here.
Also, how do you know your partner wouldn't be ok with it. I'd at least speak to him about it |
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"You're bi and in a hetro relationship, how to deal with the fact that you long to have a steamy evening or possibly ongoing regular fun with a woman but you are in a relationship, are happy and don't want to split to do this but yet don't want your man involved at all with you and the woman?
It's only a want right now and jasn't been executed so no nasty cyber trolls throwing accusations, thanks
Feel pulled with my sexual needs but do not want to hurt my partner, and before anyone asks, no he wouldn't be ok to just let me do it unless he was getting some.
"
You cant have your cake and eat it too. If the urge is genuinely tempting you to cheat then the relationship doesnt mean as much to you as you think it does and you should split up |
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So you are bi ? So what ?
There are heteros in hetero relationships that long to fuck someone else instead of their partner...
Totally up to you what you do but don't dress up as a victim.
Millions of people face the choice every day.
Woman up and make a choice. Just deal with it.
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"So you are bi ? So what ?
There are heteros in hetero relationships that long to fuck someone else instead of their partner...
Totally up to you what you do but don't dress up as a victim.
Millions of people face the choice every day.
Woman up and make a choice. Just deal with it.
"
Absolutely this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you are bi ? So what ?
There are heteros in hetero relationships that long to fuck someone else instead of their partner...
Totally up to you what you do but don't dress up as a victim.
Millions of people face the choice every day.
Woman up and make a choice. Just deal with it.
"
Being bi isn't an excuse to cheat. |
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"So you are bi ? So what ?
There are heteros in hetero relationships that long to fuck someone else instead of their partner...
Totally up to you what you do but don't dress up as a victim.
Millions of people face the choice every day.
Woman up and make a choice. Just deal with it.
Being bi isn't an excuse to cheat."
Your other half might not view it as cheating. We're both free to do whatever we want with same-sex people. It's possible he may not have a problem with it.
If I were you I'd test the waters with some mild comments. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you are bi ? So what ?
There are heteros in hetero relationships that long to fuck someone else instead of their partner...
Totally up to you what you do but don't dress up as a victim.
Millions of people face the choice every day.
Woman up and make a choice. Just deal with it.
"
|
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"You're bi and in a hetro relationship, how to deal with the fact that you long to have a steamy evening or possibly ongoing regular fun with a woman but you are in a relationship, are happy and don't want to split to do this but yet don't want your man involved at all with you and the woman?
It's only a want right now and jasn't been executed so no nasty cyber trolls throwing accusations, thanks
Feel pulled with my sexual needs but do not want to hurt my partner, and before anyone asks, no he wouldn't be ok to just let me do it unless he was getting some.
"
Life is to short to give up on it , go for it ! |
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I am half of a very happily married couple who meets women alone.
However, I would not di so unless I was sure my husband was comfortable with me doing so.
We also swing as a couple and he is welcome to meet alone if he wants.
I can only echo others. Being bi is nothing to do with wanting to have sex with others. If your husband isn't happy for you to meet others, is ths possibility of ruining your marriage worth the risk of cheating? |
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Open, honest communication is the only way.
You both have to find the middle ground. Being bi doesnt mean you have to cheat.
You pick your life partner and you stay with them bi or otherwise.
As a poster above said if its eating you up that much then you have to tell him its putting your relationship at risk and go from there. |
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