FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Swinging regrets anyone?
Swinging regrets anyone?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We have been on the site before but only had sex in the same room as other couples so far. We are curious to take the step to full swinging as both enjoybthe fantasy but wonder if any couples have had regrets bringing another guy or gal (or both lol) into their bed?
Has it affected any of your relationships in a negative way ever or has it always been positive?
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No negative effects really. The majority of times we've felt closer and more connected after a good experience. The bad experiences are discussed and we move on.
The problems arise when one or both are unable or unwilling to talk about things or instead of talking you brood or blame. Keep the communication going, listen without feeling blamed and talk without blaming.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No negative effects really. The majority of times we've felt closer and more connected after a good experience. The bad experiences are discussed and we move on.
The problems arise when one or both are unable or unwilling to talk about things or instead of talking you brood or blame. Keep the communication going, listen without feeling blamed and talk without blaming. "
Heard before that communication is key. We both really like the idea (dirty talk leads to great orgasms) but just hope insecurities don't creep in and wondered if others had similiar thoughts |
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No negative effects at all. We started a few weeks after meeting and neither of us had problems about sex with others around playing and watching on our first club visit. We moved on to soft-swinging without jealousy next time. She held back from a full swap for a few club visits because she worried that fucking another man might ruin our relationship, but instead it was a big turn-on!
We were mid 50s when we met and had both been unable to be monogamous with our exes, so swinging proved an open and honest way to meet our need for variety. Plus we loved getting back into the group-sex scene we'd both enjoyed briefly when younger, which had ended when we married for our first times.
We think a lot of relationships couple be strengthened by swinging, rather than people having hidden affairs with all the guilt and deceit. Monogamy isn't really natural!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One bad experience due to both of us not saying what we was thinking.. since then we always tell each other exactly what we're trying to achieve out of a meet and agree on boundaries set.. have some great experiences since then.  |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
The only so to speak bad experience we had was at the last party we went to.
Another couple who we'd met before. She was really d*unk and he left her alone and was chasing me to play with him. We told him repeatedly to put her to bed but he's not allowed to play if she's not there so basically he made her stay up.
She was d*unk and right by the pool so C spent most of his time looking after her rather than playing! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No negative effects at all. We started a few weeks after meeting and neither of us had problems about sex with others around playing and watching on our first club visit. We moved on to soft-swinging without jealousy next time. She held back from a full swap for a few club visits because she worried that fucking another man might ruin our relationship, but instead it was a big turn-on!
We were mid 50s when we met and had both been unable to be monogamous with our exes, so swinging proved an open and honest way to meet our need for variety. Plus we loved getting back into the group-sex scene we'd both enjoyed briefly when younger, which had ended when we married for our first times.
We think a lot of relationships couple be strengthened by swinging, rather than people having hidden affairs with all the guilt and deceit. Monogamy isn't really natural!
"
Thank you... We're in a loving relationship and like exploring. I don't think we would find it negative just curious for peoples experiences x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The only so to speak bad experience we had was at the last party we went to.
Another couple who we'd met before. She was really d*unk and he left her alone and was chasing me to play with him. We told him repeatedly to put her to bed but he's not allowed to play if she's not there so basically he made her stay up.
She was d*unk and right by the pool so C spent most of his time looking after her rather than playing! "
Just shows how some people can be selfish in situations like this. Glad you've not had many bad experiences though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"One bad experience due to both of us not saying what we was thinking.. since then we always tell each other exactly what we're trying to achieve out of a meet and agree on boundaries set.. have some great experiences since then. "
The more I think about it the more I think it will be fine the more we communicate x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One bad experience due to both of us not saying what we was thinking.. since then we always tell each other exactly what we're trying to achieve out of a meet and agree on boundaries set.. have some great experiences since then.
The more I think about it the more I think it will be fine the more we communicate x"
Communication for us is everything.. try to leave no stone unturned and you should have a great time. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have no regrets it has actually improved our own sex life but you nee8to be 100 percent sure you can't undo it once it's done and you can't unsee something you see so make sure you are both certain first |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have no regrets it has actually improved our own sex life but you nee8to be 100 percent sure you can't undo it once it's done and you can't unsee something you see so make sure you are both certain first "
Think we won't have regrets once we get past nerves and find the right couple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only regret we have is a young lad we had a mmf with. His profile said 26 but when he turned up he was much younger. I mean we still went through with it but my son is his age so lesson learnt!!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My big regret and what has effected the way I am on fab now.
Staying with a FB out of guilt and now I won't let anyone close (it wasn't his fault, I take full responsibility). High insight if a beautiful thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My only regret is that I no longer have a swinging partner,one or two single FWB will occasionally couple up with me for club visits but it's not the same as swinging in a relationship,it's a dynamic that I miss as it's not possible to recreate as a single guy.
Other than that I have no regrets whatsoever,there's been the occasional bad experience but the fun times have by far outweighed them.
Good communication and absolute honesty are essential when swinging as a couple,if you can't talk to each other openly about your thoughts and feelings regarding swinging it will inevitably put strain on your relationship,and small issues quickly become big issues.
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No regrets in my current marriage but my previous marriage ended up crashing and burning after 20 years because of a lack of communication and an inappropriate 'situation' that my ex entered into.
You live and learn  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So you had sex with your own partner in the room with another couple?
If you are worried about things then take it slowly + talk about it after each one. There are different options like same room own partners only, soft VS full swap, same VS separate rooms, mmf VS mff VS mfmf so for example one partner can sit out + watch (or take photos) if one of a couple is ok but the other unsure, etc. Or you even have completely separate/solo meets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No regrets in my current marriage but my previous marriage ended up crashing and burning after 20 years because of a lack of communication and an inappropriate 'situation' that my ex entered into.
You live and learn "
Would it ok to ask what this situation was?
You are welcome to PM me if you rather |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My last relationship broke down after swinging, mainly because we involved other men and didn’t communicate properly. Also boundaries pushed past the limits. So we only had ourselves to blame.
Well I do, as she’s now in a relationship.
Like someone else said on this thread, you live and learn. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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TBH sometimes I think we could have started much sooner, but when I see young pregnant people or with new borns or in new relationships etc etc looking for meets I think shouldn’t they be concentrating on that rather than swinging? Once all that’s done then go out and have fun again.
We also noticed younger people tend to have more rules and hang ups, maybe as oldies we are more secure and carefree and maybe we wouldn’t have been when we were younger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive been in relationships an I dont know if I could share my partner or see other people touching her, im not saying im.against it in any way, even tho im.on a swingers site im single an maybe if I met someone off here like a regular, it maybe a different story, because it started out that way, all relationships are different as are ppl, if you've already done it,youve done it an dont worry too much about it, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've discovered that most men treat us special gurls like shameful dirty little secrets , they don't see us as a person , we are mainly a kink , fetish , which in 2019 is sad "
i agree and its nothing shameful or dirty
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have some
Wish we had met the two strangers and watch them fuck my wife Tej hard with their massive cocks.
Wish that Tej was more will now days but getting there when we/she meets the right white, fit guy that can seduce her and then fuck her well and hopefully as hard as she likes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have a massive regret.... that being that we didn't start when we were younger.
Bloody right lol"
Yes starting younger would have been great. Much harder to get meetings with fit people when you’re older on Fab. |
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Nothing I'd call a regret. We did have something happen that I wasn't really comfortable with. We spoke about it, shifted our rules a little and beast comforted and reassured me.
Odd thing is that I'm kind of glad it happened because now I don't have to worry about not liking something because I know we can handle it perfectly |
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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago
Lincoln |
"Nothing I'd call a regret. We did have something happen that I wasn't really comfortable with. We spoke about it, shifted our rules a little and beast comforted and reassured me.
Odd thing is that I'm kind of glad it happened because now I don't have to worry about not liking something because I know we can handle it perfectly "
Yep this, we’ve not had anything downright bad, a couple of things we could have easily passed on but now we know and won’t be tempted to bother again! It’s all a learning curve.
TB |
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Met a guy once he told us he was single lived other side of town,then after a night of fun found out he lives about 10 doors away married with kids often see him and his wife n kids together playing happy families |
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