FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Part time boyfriend

Part time boyfriend

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Has any wife managed to successfully have a long term relationship alongside her marriage? I'm feeling like it's the impossible dream. Some men aren't interested because they just want sex, others don't want to go down that route because they're afraid of getting hurt. Others I've experienced where it gets to the point that they want more of me than I can give. I do understand from their perspective that potentially falling in love with someone who can never be fully 'theirs' is a bad idea. However, there must be some men who don't have time for a full relationship but still want the intimacy of a deeper connection?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oubledongCouple over a year ago

Ferndown, Dorset

Depends on what you consider a relationship. If you mean someone you regularly meet up for sex, then yes, I have two at the moment. We have regular times when we meet for sex and occasionally go on weekends away etc. The relationships are completely based on sex, there is no question of me ever leaving my husband for one of them, and they know that.

I suppose it is made easier that one of them is himself married so no expectations there from him for it to become anything more. I think I would probably go as far as calling him my lover, as we are quite emotionally involved, but it isn't the same as the love I have for my husband.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Depends on what you consider a relationship. If you mean someone you regularly meet up for sex, then yes, I have two at the moment. We have regular times when we meet for sex and occasionally go on weekends away etc. The relationships are completely based on sex, there is no question of me ever leaving my husband for one of them, and they know that.

I don't think it's possible to experience the love you have with your husband with someone else because you have so many share life experiences and history. I do think it's possible to experience different kinds of love and I think falling in love is the most wonderful thing. I don't just enjoy meets that are only about sex. I want someone to genuinely care about me and be connected to my emotions as well as my body.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oubledongCouple over a year ago

Ferndown, Dorset

I don't think it's possible to experience the love you have with your husband with someone else "

Some obviously do, they start off having an affair and fall so in love with each other that they end up leaving their partners for each other.

My on-going partners, know all about my life and I theirs, but I never want to get involved enough to make things complicated. It sounds what you are looking for is pore of a polyamorous relationship.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *adyJayneWoman over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"Has any wife managed to successfully have a long term relationship alongside her marriage? I'm feeling like it's the impossible dream. Some men aren't interested because they just want sex, others don't want to go down that route because they're afraid of getting hurt. Others I've experienced where it gets to the point that they want more of me than I can give. I do understand from their perspective that potentially falling in love with someone who can never be fully 'theirs' is a bad idea. However, there must be some men who don't have time for a full relationship but still want the intimacy of a deeper connection? "

Yes. Polyamoury does work, it's hard work but so satisfying.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *un couple 2Couple over a year ago

Tynemouth.

7 years Sam has had her boyfriend. Still going strong

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I definitely think I'm Poly but it's so hard to find a man who is as well who also happens to be my type and live locally!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

Well - I have was the part time boyfriend for a wife several years ago. It worked really well - we went for dinner, cinema, theatre - dated basically and she stayed over at my place. She was very happily married and her husband knew all about her extra-marital affairs. In fact, she had two or three lovers on the go! She wasn’t a swinger - more of lady who liked to have boyfriends in her life. I met her husband but wasn’t a poly thing - she was more of a free spirit as am I. Would love that again!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Well - I have was the part time boyfriend for a wife several years ago. It worked really well - we went for dinner, cinema, theatre - dated basically and she stayed over at my place. She was very happily married and her husband knew all about her extra-marital affairs. In fact, she had two or three lovers on the go! She wasn’t a swinger - more of lady who liked to have boyfriends in her life. I met her husband but wasn’t a poly thing - she was more of a free spirit as am I. Would love that again!"

That sounds exactly what I'm after! You didn't meet anyone else during that period and stop seeing her?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

Good to hear that that is what you are after. She - in fact she was the one who opened my eyes to the a lady being sexually liberated.she wasn’t a swinger at all - but wanted to date other man as well as being married. She told that on the first date - as well as the fact she was dating other men. In fact, I met her on a very vanilla dating website - I was her weekend boyfriend (!). Though, of course, she had other boyfriends as well. I found it very erotic to date a married lady - i think I was exclusive to her - to be honest I cant remember - as It was long time ago, and I didn’t have much time. But it was my first introduction to meeting sexually liberated lady and I found it huge turn on, that after spending the night with me - she would go home and have sex wither husband or another of her lovers....

I didnt realise how lucky I was - and its been very hard to have the same thing again !

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Good to hear that that is what you are after. She - in fact she was the one who opened my eyes to the a lady being sexually liberated.she wasn’t a swinger at all - but wanted to date other man as well as being married. She told that on the first date - as well as the fact she was dating other men. In fact, I met her on a very vanilla dating website - I was her weekend boyfriend (!). Though, of course, she had other boyfriends as well. I found it very erotic to date a married lady - i think I was exclusive to her - to be honest I cant remember - as It was long time ago, and I didn’t have much time. But it was my first introduction to meeting sexually liberated lady and I found it huge turn on, that after spending the night with me - she would go home and have sex wither husband or another of her lovers....

I didnt realise how lucky I was - and its been very hard to have the same thing again !"

This is where I feel like I fall between the cracks. I'm not really a swinger at heart but then vanilla sites don't tend to have men who understand fully. I'm not Poly in that I want all equal partners because my husband will always be number one but I do want sexual and emotional attachments to others. I don't fit in a box so I don't know where to find what I need!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i have a sexual boyfriend that me and hubs have know for quite a while i meet him often and we do our best to make sure cuck knows hes a cuck but it is purely sexual we have a giggle and a laught we kiss n snog have sex make sure cucky is fully involved weather hes with us or not

so it depends on your concept of boyfriend i alway maintain ill never be exclusive to anyone and i dont want them to be exclusive to me that to me kills all the swinging vibe that we love

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

We met about once/twice a month - so it wasn’t as if she/I were in each other’s pockets. She had husband, work, children and other lovers - and we both took a relaxed approach to meeting. You have to be free spirited about the whole thing - otherwise, you may get hung up on times/logistics

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

Got you - my married friend was not a swinger at all - she liked one on one sex with several men - but wanted to “date” her lovers and not have one offs, and it wasn’t a hotwife/cuck kind of thing but her hubby did enjoy knowing his wife was out with other men. As one of her boyfriends, I knew that I might see her for a few weeks. I remember trading to arrange to meet her - but she said she was out with another of her boyfriends that evening but she was free the next day - which I found a huge turn on.. I would love to have similar situation again ie date a hotwife but is hasnt happened because everyone has obligations, work, and logistics

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lanemikeMan over a year ago

Bolton

Would be very happy to be a "part time boyfriend"........ Open to offers!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *urved HunnyWoman over a year ago

Essex

Yes twice, one was for 8 yrs plus, the other lived with us for 3 yrs or so, its possible

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

"Yes twice, one was for 8 yrs plus, the other lived with us for 3 yrs or so, its possible "

How wonderful !

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can you not have emotional attachments in the real world and sex in the swinging world? Does sound like something is missing from your marriage. I never feel the need for real emotional attachment with playmates, it’s just fun. I get all the emotional attachment I need at home and from friends in the vanilla world.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Can you not have emotional attachments in the real world and sex in the swinging world? Does sound like something is missing from your marriage. I never feel the need for real emotional attachment with playmates, it’s just fun. I get all the emotional attachment I need at home and from friends in the vanilla world."

This is the common misconception that people have. I have the most amazing, loving, supportive husband. However, I still crave more from others. You can love more than one friend so why not more than one lover. I would suggest that many in the vanilla world would question your relationship and suggest you're not getting all the sexual satisfaction you need from your partner, it's quite offensive isn't it?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

From my own experience, it was attachment of a different sort - as i realised from my married girlfriend - she enjoyed “dating” other men in addition to being married - she enjoyed knowing on Friday night, she might be going to the cinema with me and then staying at my place before going back to her husband. For well over a year and half, we dated -now that can mean a lot of things to a lot of people - we werent in love but we were definitely boyfriend and girlfriend - she just happened to be married and have other boyfriends - it was companionship and sex. And she enjoyed having several lovers...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My partner isn’t a girl and I love girly play plus I like 2 cocks in my mouth or being spit roasted etc etc however your point is well made just trying to work it out xxx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ust_A_Tease_To_PleaseWoman over a year ago

South Wales: Newport, Chepstow

" ...

... I'm not Poly in that I want all equal partners because my husband will always be number one but I do want sexual and emotional attachments to others... "

Polyamory comes in many forms, including one called "Hierarchy Poly" in which everyone understands your nested/married partner (or whoever you pick) takes priority, and all others are "secondary".

It really sounds like poly is your thing and I would recommend doing a bit of research into it to see. The book More Than Two was excellent for my own understanding and journey.

There really are so many ways to do poly, its all about making your relationships suit you, not forcing yourself into social expectations.

Good luck with your journey, it's hard work but amazing.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personally it looks like you are looking for a poly relationship but it depends on who is involved and how. They work, my wife and I have had a couple of relationships and would like to meet someone to share our relationship again. It is so difficult to find someone who isnt just interested in the sex side (which is important) but is not everything.

Keep searching you'll find someone or people.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thank you so much for your responses. I really do appreciate it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

"Thank you so much for your responses. I really do appreciate it. "

No problems - my own view is to be fluid with things - and also realise that these married lady/extra boyfriend also can run their course - with the married lady i dated - after year and half - we just drifted apart - just like vanilla dating. Which is why I think she had several boyfriends. Likewise, when i chatted to her she always referred to her boyfriends as free spirits as a guy who was into dating a married lady was unconventional in other ways, ie would quite their job and go travelling, or have some project that suddenly took up their time. One of her lovers was a musician so he was always travelling. A guy who wants to date a married lady is prob (not always) going to be taking you out on date every week or having pizza/Netflix on sunday evening. its something to acknowledge.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have had relationships like this before, girlfriend type with no wish or intention to be anything more than that and accepting of that the husband is there to stay!

There are people like me out there that have done and enjoy this, and it is wonderful when it works, it’s just a question of letting them know you’re out there, which to be fair you have done!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ngelcandyWoman over a year ago

wirral

This is a really interesting post as it’s something we have been thinking about. I love being social and going out but hubby doesn’t, he’s more than happy for me to date others and the idea of seeing someone regularly to socialise and play with really appealing to us both! It’s not something I’ve pursued yet but thinking about it for the future

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

[Removed by poster at 04/09/19 21:26:22]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"This is a really interesting post as it’s something we have been thinking about. I love being social and going out but hubby doesn’t, he’s more than happy for me to date others and the idea of seeing someone regularly to socialise and play with really appealing to us both! It’s not something I’ve pursued yet but thinking about it for the future

That is pretty much my situation, and in the past I've had one or two boyfriends, things didn't work out in the medium to long term but I am open to another relationship of that kind.

I believe it can work with honest and open communication if everybody concerned wants the same things.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *mmmMaybeCouple over a year ago

West Wales

We have a fem fwb, very irregular due to distance & her work but yes doing "Vanilla" stuff with H or all together if possible (I run my own business so big time constraints for me at least) becoming an xtra in family life & then sharing our bed, we just love it & just wish she was nearer than a five hour drive. :-/

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

It’s based on sex but you have regular weekends away. You are emotionally involved??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andKBCouple over a year ago

Plymouth

I'm after similar but different (K-female). What I'd really like a poly situation but where I'd have a girlfriend not a boyfriend.

I have C as my husband and I love him but my bi side really wants more than just play with ladies.

It's difficult because we have a child and his parents are very old school!! Mine wouldn't be phased at all.

It can work if everyone is on board with it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *uckold couple for BBCCouple over a year ago

just north of Birmingham

We had a long-term relationship with our bull who slowly became me BF in all but name. It evolved from just sex to regular public dates.

He then moved in for around 3 months and lived with us full time. Unfortunately it all became a little too much for hubby and it came to an end. Shame, they were 3 great months!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It's difficult because we have a child and his parents are very old school!! Mine wouldn't be phased at all.

Exactly the same as me. I'd love to be 'out' and proud that I'm Poly but my husband is massively private so I have to respect that of course.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andKBCouple over a year ago

Plymouth

It's difficult because we have a child and his parents are very old school!! Mine wouldn't be phased at all.

Exactly the same as me. I'd love to be 'out' and proud that I'm Poly but my husband is massively private so I have to respect that of course. "

I agree but then it's the added difficult of finding someone who's prepared to be a 'secret' sort of if you get me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

It's difficult because we have a child and his parents are very old school!! Mine wouldn't be phased at all.

Exactly the same as me. I'd love to be 'out' and proud that I'm Poly but my husband is massively private so I have to respect that of course. "

I can understand - when i was dating my married lady friend - we had to be discreet - not so much because of her husband but because of her teenage children.. in amy that added to the excitement

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Both my fb and me are married. We've known each other for about 7 or 8 years and it works for us.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Both my fb and me are married. We've known each other for about 7 or 8 years and it works for us."

Are both your spouses fully aware?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It's difficult because we have a child and his parents are very old school!! Mine wouldn't be phased at all.

Exactly the same as me. I'd love to be 'out' and proud that I'm Poly but my husband is massively private so I have to respect that of course.

I agree but then it's the added difficult of finding someone who's prepared to be a 'secret' sort of if you get me. "

Understand completely

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *randMrsBlondeCouple over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

I didnt realise how lucky I was - and its been very hard to have the same thing again !

This is something I am struggling with at the moment and could have written your post, and I feel your frustrations. I am looking for more than a fuck buddy, tried the vanilla dating and as a general rule the guys on there didn’t get it at all, and fab the guys in general just seem to be looking for random hook ups. Its so frustrating and like looking for a needle in a haystack

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Find a married man who also doesn't want to leave his wife.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I could never find a guy who would hang around long enough. Am glad now because i am free to do what i want.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Part time boyfriend ~ sounds perfect

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Find a married man who also doesn't want to leave his wife. "

Easier said then done when you bring all the other things into the equation. Very, very small minority.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

I didnt realise how lucky I was - and its been very hard to have the same thing again !

Think you will be have to be more fluid - the reality is that most men who would be into dating a married lady are going to be “:free spirits” - ie not want to be tied down but also go off and do their own thing - even if its travelling. to be honest, just basic logistics help a lot - ie living not too far fro each other so that could see each regularly - i would love to replicate the situation again but it just hasnt happened..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Speaking from my own experience I thought I had found someone to meet regularly away from my family life but unfortunately she has decided it isn't for her. I know its a difficult situation to be in but I would like to find someone

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *randMrsBlondeCouple over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

For me I definitely would be happy for the person to be a free spirit and see other people etc in fact would encourage it as long as they were happy for me to do the same and still made the effort with me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *mmmMaybeCouple over a year ago

West Wales

"For me I definitely would be happy for the person to be a free spirit and see other people etc in fact would encourage it as long as they were happy for me to do the same and still made the effort with me.

This works well with us, our female friend is on fetlife & has friends from there nearer to her home & we are still on here looking for someone else a bit more regular. If all are happy if can work well.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

That makes sense - i loved the fact i dating a married lady - that she was my girlfriend but also that she had other boyfriends as well - made it so much more erotic..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eakcoupleCouple over a year ago

peak district

R had someone like this while married to her ex for their last couple of years, the ex was losing interest in sex and didn't mind her having other men as long as she didn't bring them home. Her ex wasn't interested in hearing any details so it wasn't the traditional cuck relationship.

She eventually found an unmarried regular FB not far from home, but he and she had other lovers too. She, the FB and her ex were all happy with the arrangement.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

"R had someone like this while married to her ex for their last couple of years, the ex was losing interest in sex and didn't mind her having other men as long as she didn't bring them home. Her ex wasn't interested in hearing any details so it wasn't the traditional cuck relationship.

She eventually found an unmarried regular FB not far from home, but he and she had other lovers too. She, the FB and her ex were all happy with the arrangement. "

This is interesting and i am sure it happens a lot in ‘real life” - a marriage fizzles out but becuase of children/financial constraints - people have to stay together and partners turn a blind eye

When i was in my 30s, and had a thing for MILFs (still do!) - i dated/have flings with women who were in exactly this situation. Practical circumstances meant they couldnt get divorced.

It was when I met that lady who husband enjoyed the fact his wife was out dating/sleeping with other men that my mind was blown open to a whole other side. It was mind expanding experience

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rivate roomMan over a year ago

Bracknell

Especially for you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *amiee89TV/TS over a year ago

derry

I have no time for a full time relationship but I definitely want the intimacy and connection of one

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

"I have no time for a full time relationship but I definitely want the intimacy and connection of one"

Yes - that is what attracted me to dating a married lady - didnt have the full on relationship but also had more then just sex

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ilentnoiseMan over a year ago

Belfast

This is an interesting topic OP. It's really interesting to hear your take on what you are looking for, because from a man's point of view I have always wanted to find a couple like you who are interested in having that kind of relationship.

I feel like I fall through the cracks too because I don't really identify with being a swinger as such. I also find sex without any emotion involved difficult to do. I've always wanted to be in a relationship with a married lady, with her husbands full consent, and where the relationship is more than just having sex. Going out and doing things socially and romantically whilst also respecting the primacy of the husband-wife relationship. I'd not want to be dating anyone else and wouldn't like the lady to be involved with anyone else except her husband and me.

It's very specific. I'd like to see more poly options available on Fab.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hrissycox66TV/TS over a year ago

watford

A very interesting thread l to have no time for a relationship as I'm a cd I might sound greedy but I would like to be a part time bf and gf to a woman and another cd.

Hope all find what you're looking for x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lex D.Man over a year ago

London

Yes, I'd say that's me and I'd love a girlfriend but obviosly not just anyone. It could become quite painful too when bringing it to an end though just like a vanilla relationship but then again it could end amicably as we're ultimately free to move on. I'd say the best thing to do is to hang loose, meet people (not just for sex) in a range of environments (clubs, socials, fab online meets, vanilla settings, etc.) and it'll manifest in tje form of luck. Pushing it will lead to frustration and that will come through perhaps negatively when you actually do meet people. Keep positive and I hope that you get a connection soon.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lex D.Man over a year ago

London

Same here. I'd like to experienve that. Dating frequently sounds like the adequate response that she has a nice time with you when out. The lifestyle sure demands more than just sex.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I'd just like a part time boyfriend lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Such a fabulous thread and so many people looking for something very similar.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ottoofarMan over a year ago

around and about

Same here. I'd like to experienve that. Dating frequently sounds like the adequate response that she has a nice time with you when out. The lifestyle sure demands more than just sex.

Pretty much the same with my wife and I. We both have fwb that we meet up with regularly.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"I definitely think I'm Poly but it's so hard to find a man who is as well who also happens to be my type and live locally! "

My first introduction to Polyamory was actually meeting Poly people when I started attending events around Nottingham and Derby when I used to live in Leicester. They certainly exist it's just about happening to meet them. If I was any good at that sort of thing I'd create a Polyamory dating site!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

xx"

Think this is spot on - you have to go with open mind. According to my “normal” friends - vanilla dating is hard enough in terms of compatibility let alone the added stuff of swinging and being married. I would take the same approach as indicated above - being out/about meeting people at socials and/or for sex and seeing the results.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

" ...

... I'm not Poly in that I want all equal partners because my husband will always be number one but I do want sexual and emotional attachments to others...

Polyamory comes in many forms, including one called "Hierarchy Poly" in which everyone understands your nested/married partner (or whoever you pick) takes priority, and all others are "secondary".

It really sounds like poly is your thing and I would recommend doing a bit of research into it to see. The book More Than Two was excellent for my own understanding and journey.

There really are so many ways to do poly, its all about making your relationships suit you, not forcing yourself into social expectations.

Good luck with your journey, it's hard work but amazing."

For me personally it isn't about my nesting partner being "number one" and others taking a back seat. I mean logistically I already live with him so full time cohabiting is something that's unlikely to be on the table in the future for anyone else looking to date me, same with things like marriage. This suits some people though as it takes away the pressure of the traditional "relationship escalator" where there is a pressure of these kind of things being expected after dating for certain amounts of time. Also as I've been with my nesting partner for over three years, someone new couldn't expect the same level of commitment from me from the get go. I never want to make anyone else I date feel like the lowest priority though. They're still important to me. For many of the people I've dated while with my nesting partner, it has suited them too due to their own commitments like work, family, time constraints, etc which make traditional dating difficult.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *AYENCouple over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Would be great to find something like this, though probably not going to happen on Fab.

We both feel there's a lot more chance of finding someone in real life.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

" ...

... I'm not Poly in that I want all equal partners because my husband will always be number one but I do want sexual and emotional attachments to others...

Polyamory comes in many forms, including one called "Hierarchy Poly" in which everyone understands your nested/married partner (or whoever you pick) takes priority, and all others are "secondary".

It really sounds like poly is your thing and I would recommend doing a bit of research into it to see. The book More Than Two was excellent for my own understanding and journey.

There really are so many ways to do poly, its all about making your relationships suit you, not forcing yourself into social expectations.

Good luck with your journey, it's hard work but amazing.

Yes - thats a great way of putting it. When I dated my married lady friend - I had no interest in the relationship escalator that vanilla dating would have required - because of work and time constraints. Dating her suited me perfectly -

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

" ...

... I'm not Poly in that I want all equal partners because my husband will always be number one but I do want sexual and emotional attachments to others...

Polyamory comes in many forms, including one called "Hierarchy Poly" in which everyone understands your nested/married partner (or whoever you pick) takes priority, and all others are "secondary".

It really sounds like poly is your thing and I would recommend doing a bit of research into it to see. The book More Than Two was excellent for my own understanding and journey.

There really are so many ways to do poly, its all about making your relationships suit you, not forcing yourself into social expectations.

Good luck with your journey, it's hard work but amazing.

Exactly. I've also dated two men who emotionally didn't want the expectations of the relationship escalator after the break down of very long term relationships. In a way Polyamory can freeze things at a certain step for a long time which is something you're less likely to find elsewhere as most people wish to eventually make that climb.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

" ...

... I'm not Poly in that I want all equal partners because my husband will always be number one but I do want sexual and emotional attachments to others...

Polyamory comes in many forms, including one called "Hierarchy Poly" in which everyone understands your nested/married partner (or whoever you pick) takes priority, and all others are "secondary".

It really sounds like poly is your thing and I would recommend doing a bit of research into it to see. The book More Than Two was excellent for my own understanding and journey.

There really are so many ways to do poly, its all about making your relationships suit you, not forcing yourself into social expectations.

Good luck with your journey, it's hard work but amazing.

Agreed - and of course, for my married girlfriend (like you), she had a primary partner who she had been married to for donkey years. The great thing was that is was a very fluid relationship - we could go a month without seeing each other (she had other boyfriends) - so it meant the whole thing was less “pressure” - which is why it last so long.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

" ...

... I'm not Poly in that I want all equal partners because my husband will always be number one but I do want sexual and emotional attachments to others...

Polyamory comes in many forms, including one called "Hierarchy Poly" in which everyone understands your nested/married partner (or whoever you pick) takes priority, and all others are "secondary".

It really sounds like poly is your thing and I would recommend doing a bit of research into it to see. The book More Than Two was excellent for my own understanding and journey.

There really are so many ways to do poly, its all about making your relationships suit you, not forcing yourself into social expectations.

Good luck with your journey, it's hard work but amazing.

Absolutely. It can be very hard for some when for whatever reason they don't have the capacity for a full time monogamous relationship but often people still have emotional needs and want companionship, someone to confide in and an emotional connection. Polyamory opens up options between casual and traditional relationship. Obviously monogamous relationships work for some people and that's wonderful but I really believe it shouldn't be seen as the default acceptable option as for some people there are many ways in which they can have both their emotional and sexual needs met better through various forms of non-monogamy. But of course I'm mostly preaching to the choir on here

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *mmmMaybeCouple over a year ago

West Wales

"I definitely think I'm Poly but it's so hard to find a man who is as well who also happens to be my type and live locally!

There's a couple of groups on FB, One a classifieds group. We joined it but didn't post & might not yet as those like us wanting a second female seem to get a hard time just as they do on here sometimes. On there though I think it's the full on Lesbians that get the hump because they like your Mrs & are not invited to the party so to speak.

We have a G/F now anyway, We just wish she wasn't five blooming hours away, But you never know what will happen in the future that may resolve this. We'll do what we usually do & go with the flow & see what develops.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

"I definitely think I'm Poly but it's so hard to find a man who is as well who also happens to be my type and live locally!

Glad to hear you have found a friend - but the reality i realise is logistics! When i have tried to recreate the situation of dating married lady - inevitably logistics means it never goes anywhere..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Alex D.

I don't do ironing but would love someone who does

From your photos you only do it naked so that would be obligatory.

Lacey,

Orgasms and cakes? Where do I sign up?!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

"Alex D.

I don't do ironing but would love someone who does

From your photos you only do it naked so that would be obligatory.

Lacey,

Orgasms and cakes? Where do I sign up?! "

Would love someone to do my ironing as well

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *mmmMaybeCouple over a year ago

West Wales

"I definitely think I'm Poly but it's so hard to find a man who is as well who also happens to be my type and live locally!

Glad to hear you have found a friend - but the reality i realise is logistics! When i have tried to recreate the situation of dating married lady - inevitably logistics means it never goes anywhere.."

Early days yet, but she works four on four off, First visit she could only stay two days, she is currently organising her life there so that she can come over maybe once a month & stay for the full four days.

We shall see how it goes

S&H

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

"I definitely think I'm Poly but it's so hard to find a man who is as well who also happens to be my type and live locally!

Glad to hear you have found a friend - but the reality i realise is logistics! When i have tried to recreate the situation of dating married lady - inevitably logistics means it never goes anywhere..

We shall see how it goes

S&H"

How did you meet your lady friend??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *alcon43Woman over a year ago

Paisley

"I have no time for a full time relationship but I definitely want the intimacy and connection of one"

That sums up what I’m after. I could never really find the right words to describe what I want.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *antsguy007Man over a year ago

Whiteley

"I have no time for a full time relationship but I definitely want the intimacy and connection of one "

Definetly! I see my kids every other weekend and with work it doesn't leave a lot of time for a full on relationship.

I would be great to meet someone who wants the intimacy and connection as meeting for random sex isn't for me these days.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I completely understand where you are coming from.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lex D.Man over a year ago

London

"Alex D.

I don't do ironing but would love someone who does

From your photos you only do it naked so that would be obligatory.

Lacey,

Orgasms and cakes? Where do I sign up?! "

Interestingly, I have a secret USP with my ironing services and it does not involve any sexual activity. xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Alex D.

I don't do ironing but would love someone who does

From your photos you only do it naked so that would be obligatory.

Lacey,

Orgasms and cakes? Where do I sign up?!

Interestingly, I have a secret USP with my ironing services and it does not involve any sexual activity. xx"

Pray do tell

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *idsAndyMan over a year ago

Worcestershire

This is absolutely possible, I've been the bf

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *mmmMaybeCouple over a year ago

West Wales

"I definitely think I'm Poly but it's so hard to find a man who is as well who also happens to be my type and live locally!

Glad to hear you have found a friend - but the reality i realise is logistics! When i have tried to recreate the situation of dating married lady - inevitably logistics means it never goes anywhere..

We shall see how it goes

S&H

How did you meet your lady friend??

She appeared on here, with a good profile,pic verified, pics etc. cool tatoos, the butterfly one is something else lucky if you saw it. So we sent a message (against our usual newbie rule) & she answered straight away, chatted, did our usual which is a video chat on kik then she left here mainly because of all the mail as she didn't know how to set filters.

She's over again hopefully in a couple of weeks & we'll take some new pics which she's up for

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inxy300Woman over a year ago

nottinghamshire

I didnt realise how lucky I was - and its been very hard to have the same thing again !

I get ya x although im not married maybe if my ex husband was up for it we would of still been together who knows!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andy6677Man over a year ago

crewe

Polys can and do work im in a triad myself with one cis and one trans girl it just works its hard work but its worth it x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *W ChapMan over a year ago

Swindon

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *offee drinkers only 3Man over a year ago

Chorley

This wouldn't be a problem for me i don't seem to fall in love these days but would have to say it would be important to be at least on speaking terms with your husband as its important to me not to be responsible for him feeling hurt

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I guess I wouldn't really want to put an end date on it unless it came to a natural conclusion.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would love something like this. I love all the emotional connection etc but definitely do not want a full blown relationship. As someone already mentioned most men on here are after a one nighter so it gets tricky. I left Tinder as it is difficult to explain and a lot of married men on Tinder want you to be their dirty secret which I am not a fan of. I would prefer a married man for sure.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

I guess I wouldn't really want to put an end date on it unless it came to a natural conclusion. "

Yes. These sort of relationships have a natural conclusion - much like “vanilla” relationships..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *m3232Man over a year ago

maidenhead

My one has just ended as she moved closer to her family as her dad past away.

Had great times and amazing sex will sadly be missed.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is something I'd love to be part of.

I really like the erotic intimacy of being with a woman or couple I'm familiar with, as opposed to the the 'cold' sex of a stranger.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Married man here, I've had a long term mistress as she likes to be called. Knew everything about each other etc, very respectful of each others private lives and daytime we pass each other in a friendly manner.

It's a different kind of connection one based on intense lust, sex, adventure. We've both said the minute feelings start getting in the way pull away ofc her feelings grew strong... I'm a passionate guy, deep, sensual made her feel special, pleased her in every way etc but yeah it got too much and that was that. We do randomly chat just to make sure life is good stuff. Respectful friends.

When in such a situation both have to be disciplined and have rules in place.

Trust me I love my wife and soul mate she's amazing and my world, but my sex drive is just through the roof.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When in such a situation both have to be disciplined and have rules in place.

Trust me I love my wife and soul mate she's amazing and my world, but my sex drive is just through the roof.

Just need to add, a element of trust goes a long way, like really does. I'm not a one nighter, prefer the long term one and only type. If you manage to find that type trust me it's an amazing feeling in a way of also spices up your own sex life (when it happens) with your spouse.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would love something like this. I love all the emotional connection etc but definitely do not want a full blown relationship. As someone already mentioned most men on here are after a one nighter so it gets tricky. I left Tinder as it is difficult to explain and a lot of married men on Tinder want you to be their dirty secret which I am not a fan of. I would prefer a married man for sure. "

What you've said is 100% true.

One nighters make you feel a bit neglected in an emotional way but each to their own, everyone is different in their needs, so who am I to judge ??

But get this lady a glass of wine ????

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Find a married man who also doesn't want to leave his wife. "

This ????????????

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *W ChapMan over a year ago

Swindon

I guess I wouldn't really want to put an end date on it unless it came to a natural conclusion. "

I had a relationship with a wife (unknown to her husband) which went on for over a year, it worked ok although it was difficult to find the balance between making quality time for us both and her family. But with compromise and imagination it worked ok.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Awesome thread. Great to see so many engaged in such a controversial and often misunderstood topic, even more so here on Fab. Thanks OP and everyone else for your articulate contributions. That's the way forward. For me, unquestionably...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *r Nowt SpecialMan over a year ago

north west

Spending time with a married lady in and out of the bedroom, with the full consent of her husband is something to be cherished......all the pleasure of a relationship and in the full knowledge that the lady goes home happy to her loving husband and she gets to enjoy the best of both worlds .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm to busy for relationships and I always working away from home.

The idea of a part time girlfriend appeals to me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lex D.Man over a year ago

London

"Spending time with a married lady in and out of the bedroom, with the full consent of her husband is something to be cherished......all the pleasure of a relationship and in the full knowledge that the lady goes home happy to her loving husband and she gets to enjoy the best of both worlds .

I share a smilar view.

A Win-win-win scenario.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lkNhungMan over a year ago

Luton

I’d love to find this, this is perfect

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'm now talking to several lovely gentlemen so let's see how things progress. Thanks everyone!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anyone need a bi bf

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *arEsseCouple over a year ago

keighley

Would love the mrs to do this and after both reading this thread she is open to the idea of it too.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is what I'm looking for. So hard to find!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *agise3Man over a year ago

wigan

Well it also must be hard for the husband too if he sees his wife having a better time than he gives her must have feelings thing is 99 % of men just want sex also 99%of men dont know difference between sex and makeing love with me I never go to please myself I always go with the sole intention of pleeseing the women

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

This is what I'm looking for. So hard to find!"

You lovely married ladies looking for boyfriends are so far away...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well it also must be hard for the husband too if he sees his wife having a better time than he gives her must have feelings thing is 99 % of men just want sex also 99%of men dont know difference between sex and makeing love with me I never go to please myself I always go with the sole intention of pleeseing the women

This is my husband's idea.

I must admit I am very lucky.. I'm not in need of anything at all I've got an amazing marriage.. this is just an added extra bit of fun.

But yes I guess for some it may be difficult.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *un chickWoman over a year ago

Fermanagh

Loving this post as it’s exactly what I’d been looking for and been lucky enough to find on the site. I won’t say it’s not been without it’s complications but we are all trying to make it work, so it’s interesting for me to see there are others with the same mindset as me.

Good luck OP I hope you find what your looking for. G

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I suppose this is exactly what I've wanted and hopefully may have it. I'm seeing someone who doesn't feel like a meet at all, it's beyond that for both of us. We socialise together. We meet even when we know sex isn't on the cards just to be able to see each other. We talk about everything and anything but we are both married to orhers- my husband knows and infact they will meet each other at the MLS.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do love hot wife scenario but only when my partner is present and is no emotional connection. Otherwise is just cheating in my opinion to getting attached for fuckboy.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *mmmMaybeCouple over a year ago

West Wales

"I do love hot wife scenario but only when my partner is present and is no emotional connection. Otherwise is just cheating in my opinion to getting attached for fuckboy."

There are a couple of posts here from guys saying they've had wife fun without the hubbies knowledge, to us that's not a "boyfriend" it a sneeky affair. Its not like you could walk hand in hand down the street she lived in for instance.

On the other hand if the hubby knows then its not cheating really.

We are trying to find similar but with a lady, but a lady for both of us, thought we'd achieved it recently, all went well but she has said a busy life & the distance (200+miles) is too much.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do love hot wife scenario but only when my partner is present and is no emotional connection. Otherwise is just cheating in my opinion to getting attached for fuckboy.

Single guys mostly not even have clue what’s on about hotwife scenario.Yes you got different arrangement between partners. I will defo not accept my partner having someone outside our relationship.As couple play together,stay together c

On the other hand if the hubby knows then its not cheating really.

We are trying to find similar but with a lady, but a lady for both of us, thought we'd achieved it recently, all went well but she has said a busy life & the distance (200+miles) is too much.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do love hot wife scenario but only when my partner is present and is no emotional connection. Otherwise is just cheating in my opinion to getting attached for fuckboy.

On the other hand if the hubby knows then its not cheating really.

We are trying to find similar but with a lady, but a lady for both of us, thought we'd achieved it recently, all went well but she has said a busy life & the distance (200+miles) is too much.

Agree with this

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *viatrixWoman over a year ago

Back in Gatwick!

My husband had a very torrid romance which lasted 2 years. I found out 3 months in- he denied it at first, then admitted to it and said I’d have to “accept it” if I wanted to be with him. I tolerated it, but never accepted it. So he had an amazing life having his wife and a girlfriend. We each gave him a lot of grief about each other separately though!

It all blew up a few months ago. Really badly. As in work grievance/disciplinary (he made the mistake to shit where he ate...) and is facing that, plus grieving the loss of the relationship.

In the meantime, I am looking for the same that he had. An outside relationship that gives me butterflies. He is aware that I am going on dates and sex meets. But he has to “accept it...”

It has been very tricky to find a part time boyfriend, though! I’d like something quite frequent, on e a week at least...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I do love hot wife scenario but only when my partner is present and is no emotional connection. Otherwise is just cheating in my opinion to getting attached for fuckboy."

Cheating if the husband is fully aware and supportive?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do love hot wife scenario but only when my partner is present and is no emotional connection. Otherwise is just cheating in my opinion to getting attached for fuckboy.

Cheating if the husband is fully aware and supportive?

It’s up to yours boundaries and rules x I said in my opinion xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

"I suppose this is exactly what I've wanted and hopefully may have it. I'm seeing someone who doesn't feel like a meet at all, it's beyond that for both of us. We socialise together. We meet even when we know sex isn't on the cards just to be able to see each other. We talk about everything and anything but we are both married to orhers- my husband knows and infact they will meet each other at the MLS. "

How wonderful - sounds like a great situation

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ast_jjMan over a year ago

Dublin and London

Good luck OP I hope you find what your looking for. G "
Does his wife know too? I suppose if she doesnt it probably works better as he may not be as likely to develop really strong feelings for you, or develop them and need to act on them.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *BWandhusbandCouple over a year ago

Midlands

We came here to find a single guy for long term, regular mfm and one to one meets. We've stopped looking now but recently the thought of a married guy with permission has started to make sense as an option.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

Why did you stop looking? the guys were looking for quick sex? Or Logistics didnt work to make it practicable for long term fun

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *BWandhusbandCouple over a year ago

Midlands

Why did you stop looking? the guys were looking for quick sex? Or Logistics didnt work to make it practicable for long term fun

It was a mixture of things really, including the things you've suggested.

There were certain things we were looking for/wanting and it seemed too much to ask of people.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

Why did you stop looking? the guys were looking for quick sex? Or Logistics didnt work to make it practicable for long term fun

It was a mixture of things really, including the things you've suggested.

There were certain things we were looking for/wanting and it seemed too much to ask of people. "

Ah - the more i think about it - its the same as vanilla dating - finding a boyfriend is hard enough (or girlfriend) - you have to get on, have time to meet, not live too far away from each other, have similar-ish interests - thats decent list. And on top of that - guy has to comfortable dating a married lady and she dating single guy - the more i think about it - no wonder it is difficult...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *un chickWoman over a year ago

Fermanagh

Good luck OP I hope you find what your looking for. G Does his wife know too? I suppose if she doesnt it probably works better as he may not be as likely to develop really strong feelings for you, or develop them and need to act on them. "

He’s not married but has his own life and responsibilities so he’s happy with our arrangement.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lex D.Man over a year ago

London

Why did you stop looking? the guys were looking for quick sex? Or Logistics didnt work to make it practicable for long term fun

It was a mixture of things really, including the things you've suggested.

There were certain things we were looking for/wanting and it seemed too much to ask of people.

I was thinking this particular dynamic last night. I often see the issues of cuckold couples seeking (a) regular boyfriend(s). There may be lots of guys on this site however I suspect the thresholds set for an adequate boyfriend are too bespoke, perhaps even too high. Not helped either that many guys see this site as a sex area as opposed to swinging so the catchment is low. That's why I always wish a cuckold couple good luck as it sounds a thrilling fantasy/kink to play out.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a friend with benefits relationship that lasted 3 years. I met the husband who was fully aware and we done the boyfriend/girlfriend thing with sex at the end. We would meet once or twice a month. She also met other guys. It worked well at the time. It was emotionally deeper than a fuck buddy. Plenty of guys on here who would be interested in in you. Good luck op

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I had a friend with benefits relationship that lasted 3 years. I met the husband who was fully aware and we done the boyfriend/girlfriend thing with sex at the end. We would meet once or twice a month. She also met other guys. It worked well at the time. It was emotionally deeper than a fuck buddy. Plenty of guys on here who would be interested in in you. Good luck op

Thank you, it sounds ideal what the lady had with you x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hocolateRodMan over a year ago

London and over UK

Why did you stop looking? the guys were looking for quick sex? Or Logistics didnt work to make it practicable for long term fun

It was a mixture of things really, including the things you've suggested.

There were certain things we were looking for/wanting and it seemed too much to ask of people.

Great way of expressing the dilemma

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ilth500Man over a year ago

Merseyside

this is the ultimate for me, to date a wife long term!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hesgotagreatassCouple over a year ago

Ashford

For us this is an issue.

It’s more than a needle in a haystack, more like a needle somewhere on the planet.

We attract (maybe our profile is not clear) the guys who want a quickie! Very few try hard to get our attention or even ask out on a date? We don’t want to hear “look at my profile and see what you think”.

Finding a guy who will date Naomi twice a month and want a connection between all of us just seems impossible.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ser574Man over a year ago

London

I am looking for a connection like this. I like to get to know the other person better if of course they wish to.

I'd like to meet with a lady for dinner, drinks, chat, to discuss matters outside sex without a pinch of criticism.

I used to know one such lady. We had great connection and we were clear about the boundaries. Many times we had met without having sex. Just for dinner and catch up. But our relationship was basically what you call friends with benefits. She moved to another city but still consider her my friend

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"For us this is an issue.

It’s more than a needle in a haystack, more like a needle somewhere on the planet.

Finding a guy who will date Naomi twice a month and want a connection between all of us just seems impossible. "

Well I'm hopefully that you may find somebody through this thread now that the conversation has been thrown out to a broader spectrum x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Haven't read it all, is this a "wanted" ad? I can do every other Saturday afternoon thru evening with a sleep over if required...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Great thread, thoroughly enjoyed reading that. I would love to be the boyfriend in a situation like you are looking for.

I hope you find what your looking for op, pitty you dont live closer too.

Dave

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I call it making love without being in love it works for me Mr

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *bsinthe_boyMan over a year ago

Luton

Google "polyamory"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow great thread.

Makes me think as I seem to struggle with full on relationships since splitting with the wife 5 years ago.

Part of the reason is work and family life 3 of my 4 kids live me. A part time gf sounds like the perfect scenario. I have looked Into poly before but never followed it through as it's not really something you discuss on a date.

Really got me thinking again now.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This needs to be really carefully navigated to ensure everyone is clear in terms of feelings and boundaries.

My own marriage ended because my wife was insistent on 'poly' which didn't extend the other way- i.e she could do what she liked but I couldn't.

It began happening behind my back and despite my best efforts, the other parties involved thought their own sexual self entitlement trumped my concerns.

Hence me saying be very careful. I thought I knew my wife after 10 years- sadly not it seems.

Now, can I find a female or couple on here for anything approaching regular meetings or a relationship? Hah!! My left hand provides more certainty I think...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ants cockWoman over a year ago

lincoln

This is a great thread. An would totally suit my needs. Maybe I’ve been going wrong by cutting married men out as an option. ??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is a great thread. An would totally suit my needs. Maybe I’ve been going wrong by cutting married men out as an option. ??

But is that with or without the wifes knowledge ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ast_jjMan over a year ago

Dublin and London

"This needs to be really carefully navigated to ensure everyone is clear in terms of feelings and boundaries.

My own marriage ended because my wife was insistent on 'poly' which didn't extend the other way- i.e she could do what she liked but I couldn't.

It began happening behind my back and despite my best efforts, the other parties involved thought their own sexual self entitlement trumped my concerns.

Hence me saying be very careful. I thought I knew my wife after 10 years- sadly not it seems.

Now, can I find a female or couple on here for anything approaching regular meetings or a relationship? Hah!! My left hand provides more certainty I think..."
As you say not poly when its only one way.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ants cockWoman over a year ago

lincoln

"This is a great thread. An would totally suit my needs. Maybe I’ve been going wrong by cutting married men out as an option. ??

But is that with or without the wifes knowledge ?"
I think for me personally it would have to be with her knowledge

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Narcissistic sociopathy, I'd say.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hi. I lived in what I know know as a poly relationship a few years ago. It started off as just a sexual thing with them both and ended up me me being her boyfriend which he was happy with. It lasted about 2 years but unfortunately culminated in her husband not liking it anymore. I think the drama was she preferred to spend time with me rather than him. Our relationship ended and unfortunately I believe their marriage did too shortly after.

It was my first and only experience of being a bff to a married woman. In hind sight, I think I would have done a little more "due dilligence"

I'm sorry we are still bot in that relationship, I've even more sorry they split up as I feel terribly guilty.

I don't often post stuff on here but felt compelled to do this one.

OP: For us, it totally wasnt just about sex, there was a connection far beyond that. I do believe however, that is hard to come by.

Dunno if that helps but it's just an experience I had.

Good luck on your journey.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ast_jjMan over a year ago

Dublin and London

"Hi. I lived in what I know know as a poly relationship a few years ago. It started off as just a sexual thing with them both and ended up me me being her boyfriend which he was happy with. It lasted about 2 years but unfortunately culminated in her husband not liking it anymore. I think the drama was she preferred to spend time with me rather than him. Our relationship ended and unfortunately I believe their marriage did too shortly after.

It was my first and only experience of being a bff to a married woman. In hind sight, I think I would have done a little more "due dilligence"

I'm sorry we are still bot in that relationship, I've even more sorry they split up as I feel terribly guilty.

I don't often post stuff on here but felt compelled to do this one.

OP: For us, it totally wasnt just about sex, there was a connection far beyond that. I do believe however, that is hard to come by.

Dunno if that helps but it's just an experience I had.

Good luck on your journey."
Thanks for posting. Do you develope any feelings for her or how did you manage that side of the relationship?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It was my first and only experience of being a bff to a married woman. In hind sight, I think I would have done a little more "due dilligence"

I'm sorry we are still bot in that relationship, I've even more sorry they split up as I feel terribly guilty.

I don't often post stuff on here but felt compelled to do this one.

OP: For us, it totally wasnt just about sex, there was a connection far beyond that. I do believe however, that is hard to come by.

Dunno if that helps but it's just an experience I had.

Good luck on your journey.Thanks for posting. Do you develope any feelings for her or how did you manage that side of the relationship? "

Yes we both 100% had feelings for each other. Having said that I knew my place and would only visit etc if I was asked.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ast_jjMan over a year ago

Dublin and London

It was my first and only experience of being a bff to a married woman. In hind sight, I think I would have done a little more "due dilligence"

I'm sorry we are still bot in that relationship, I've even more sorry they split up as I feel terribly guilty.

I don't often post stuff on here but felt compelled to do this one.

OP: For us, it totally wasnt just about sex, there was a connection far beyond that. I do believe however, that is hard to come by.

Dunno if that helps but it's just an experience I had.

Good luck on your journey.Thanks for posting. Do you develope any feelings for her or how did you manage that side of the relationship?

Yes we both 100% had feelings for each other. Having said that I knew my place and would only visit etc if I was asked."
I see..must have been hard to curtail them or frustrating if you wanted more? Were you exclusive to her or make to see others?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'am looking for one its very hard to get on on here .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ressed4fun03TV/TS over a year ago

Midlands

Id love to be a part time sissy boyfriend/girlfriend.

Be great to have a regular couple so i never know if im getting pussy, cock or both x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It was just me. It was all a bit difficult tbh. I'm sure others have more positive stories though.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’d love love to be a boyfriend to a cuckold couple,take the wife out for dinner, wine dine her do all the things the cucks not able to, and then take her home so she can tell hubb all about it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Position still vacant

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll draft a CV up

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'll draft a CV up

I await a thorough CV in our inbox

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ister-mischiefMan over a year ago

Trafford

What a shame you so far away, we have this with the mrs she loves it happy hubby ! Now it's my turn she loves the idea and wants me to find someone

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

What a shame you so far away, we have this with the mrs she loves it happy hubby ! Now it's my turn she loves the idea and wants me to find someone

Yes it's a shame. It seems very difficult to find the right guy x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ister-mischiefMan over a year ago

Trafford

What a shame you so far away, we have this with the mrs she loves it happy hubby ! Now it's my turn she loves the idea and wants me to find someone

Yes it's a shame. It seems very difficult to find the right guy x"

I'm sure there will be someone good luck

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eakcoupleCouple over a year ago

peak district

R had a long-term lover when married to her ex, who was OK about it. His rules were for her not to play at home, not to discuss it with him and not let their kids know. She'd sleep over at his place sometimes. It worked well while it lasted; they weren't in love but very sexually compatible, more so than she was with the ex

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

I agree with you that love is a spectrum and there are different types of love rather than a few ridged categories. I think it's perfectly possible to have different types of relationships that run concurrently. In fact it's very normal in everyday life. For example many of us have love and a relationship with our partners but also have different deep platonic lovimg relationships and freindships running concurrently. So why not non-platonic ones too. I had a couple of very close loving friendships that were also sexual. There was genuine love and care within those close friendships but not of the same nature I have for my partner, who is truly my everthing. They would be no threat to my relationship with my partner or the total love I have for her. Simply different types of love, but genuine love all the same.

Now that's the theory, but in reality things tend to be more tricky. Especially if what you are looking for is long term. In my experience even if you are happy to have a non-platonic relationship with someone along side the one with your life partner the other person may not be when they get into a more deep relationship with someone else. Also not everyone likes feeling or infact being 2nd fiddle to your partner. Sometime people dont see that type of relationship an equal or beneficial exchange for them in the long run. And also not everyone is very good at carpartmentalising their relationship lives or sticking to the boundries. When boundries get confused or other people want to move in other directions this can also get very messy. So I would say be realistic about the chances of having a long term boyfriend. Not saying it's impossible but I would say unlikely. Having said that if your a new romantic energy junky then this may not be a bad thing as you could get to search for a new boyfriend every year or so and keep reliving the buzz. Plus for everyone your deeply involved with you learn from them and takes lessons from them.

But remember to stay focused on your primary relationship if that is who you want to be your life partner. That is where you should truly be focused. Rember that you do open that up to risk and complication by perusing a more ploy type of lifestyle.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *heHookyMonsterMan over a year ago

Liverpool

Yes that's definitely the case. The whole package when you are together, but also being comfortable in the fact that you aren't smothering each other or being demanding of each other. X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

A very interesting insight, thank you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'll draft a CV up

One word; four letters.

Sure it’s a bird of an application

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hrissycox66TV/TS over a year ago

watford

"Id love to be a part time sissy boyfriend/girlfriend.

Be great to have a regular couple so i never know if im getting pussy, cock or both x"

I'm with you on this.

We only live and hope

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ettyboop61Woman over a year ago

St Neots

I wouldn't mind a boyfriend

Can't find one lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *weetyorkieMan over a year ago

york

I’ve been the fella in a couples life for 6 years even been on holiday with them hubby worked nights so used to keep the mrs company

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ka-sammi_n_danCouple over a year ago

nantwich

This is what we are looking for!

Gave up the search for a while but now starting to look again!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lwayshorny79Woman over a year ago

Leicester

I would love to find this.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ike oxard2018Man over a year ago

Nottingham

"I would love to find this."

Having looked at your pictures I think you will have quite a lot of guys offering you their services

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ames25630Man over a year ago

newport

This is what ideally I am looking for.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ifty69Man over a year ago

north tyneside

"I would love to find this.

Having looked at your pictures I think you will have quite a lot of guys offering you their services

"
i totally agree

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *he clean up guyMan over a year ago

north somerset

If it works it works. Each to their own and who’s to judge. I was involved with a married Cpl for about 3 years. I just provided what the husband couldn’t but knew he came 1st in everyday life.

We had a close friendship even going for nights / weekends away.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *omerset_naughtyMan over a year ago

Kusadasi, Turkey

I'm a widowed guy and I would love to be a boyfriend for someone who's married polyamorous or in general. I lost my wife to illness last year and miss the emotional connection between a couple so would love to have emotional and sexual times with a lady treat her special and know fully that she will be going home to her no. Guy her husband. I know this can work you just have to have the right mindset as the boyfriend or girlfriend knowing it can be great for a while and easily end at another time like a regualr relationship. I'd love to hear from ladies who want to have me involved in there lives xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have been in a relationship with a married woman for just over 5 years.. The husband was aware of it and we met often with him or without him. Her husband had a skiing accident and he was paralyzed waist down. He was a great bloke.This worked really well for me as I travel a lot for work and it is hard to in a relationship. She had little kids and it worked for her as well. She used to fly to me or I flew to her often. I was allowed to take or on a week holiday once a year. We used to go to Maldives or Bali during our holidays.

Things ended unfortunately as the husband passed away last year with a stroke. We are still great friends but now have ended our relationship as the kids are getting older and she is fully focusing on giving the best for her kids.

So it can work as long as there are ground rules in place and everyone sticks to the rules. It will get messy if you don't!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)