FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Female rejection
Female rejection
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By *hMyGawd OP Couple
over a year ago
Midlands |
Hi all
Whenever we've turned a guy down at a club there's been no problem, just a smile and well wishes.
However the last 3 women we've politely turned down as not our type have stormed off, one in tears. It's quite shocking actually.
Are women unable to handle rejection? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of single women are fawned over on here and in clubs so they would certainly find rejection something new and upsetting."
But some of us can see it for what it is and we understand it's the environment and not that we're some irresistible goddess that everyone yearns for. No-one enjoys rejection but it's something literally everyone has to learn to deal with. Your point is very valid, though. Eleven years in the fetish scene and six in the swinging has taught me both are fraught with unstable and dysfunctional people, male and female. It's all a minefield whoever you are. |
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Fab/ swinging can create a false sense of expectation as a woman, because yes, you are fawned over. It can take a readjustment. (fortunately my surprises were online and I readjusted to closer to normal quickly and privately) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab/ swinging can create a false sense of expectation as a woman, because yes, you are fawned over. It can take a readjustment. (fortunately my surprises were online and I readjusted to closer to normal quickly and privately) "
I couldn't agree with this more. Everyone here has to manage their expectations, without exception. |
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By *hMyGawd OP Couple
over a year ago
Midlands |
To elaborate a little, the first instance was a meet through FAB, at a club. We felt we were catfished as we were told she was a size 10, yet in person seemed more like a size 14. We were friendly, but the male half of us isn't at all attracted to women who aren't very slim so had to turn down several awkward physical advances. At this point she had a meltdown in the ladies with our female half.
The second was a similar encounter, except it was spontaneous at the Attic and not pre-arranged on FAB. Our male half again just hoped that acting disinterested would get the message across, yet physical contact was made without consent and after a simple reply of "you're not my type" she left crying and angry.
The third was an encounter at the Attic where a woman just threw open a curtain to our private play area and jumped onto the bed with us. She had to be removed by Attic staff and was very angry that we had no interest in her.
We've never had an issue with single men so it's interesting that only women are causing us trouble. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To elaborate a little, the first instance was a meet through FAB, at a club. We felt we were catfished as we were told she was a size 10, yet in person seemed more like a size 14. We were friendly, but the male half of us isn't at all attracted to women who aren't very slim so had to turn down several awkward physical advances. At this point she had a meltdown in the ladies with our female half.
The second was a similar encounter, except it was spontaneous at the Attic and not pre-arranged on FAB. Our male half again just hoped that acting disinterested would get the message across, yet physical contact was made without consent and after a simple reply of "you're not my type" she left crying and angry.
The third was an encounter at the Attic where a woman just threw open a curtain to our private play area and jumped onto the bed with us. She had to be removed by Attic staff and was very angry that we had no interest in her.
We've never had an issue with single men so it's interesting that only women are causing us trouble."
Oh my god! I can't believe someone would touch without asking and to invade a play session like that? That's just insane! |
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Unfortunately sometimes clubs are more reluctant to come down hard on female invasion of space, poor behaviour, etc, than male. It isn't right, and personally I treat people as I wish to be treated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To elaborate a little, the first instance was a meet through FAB, at a club. We felt we were catfished as we were told she was a size 10, yet in person seemed more like a size 14. We were friendly, but the male half of us isn't at all attracted to women who aren't very slim so had to turn down several awkward physical advances. At this point she had a meltdown in the ladies with our female half.
The second was a similar encounter, except it was spontaneous at the Attic and not pre-arranged on FAB. Our male half again just hoped that acting disinterested would get the message across, yet physical contact was made without consent and after a simple reply of "you're not my type" she left crying and angry.
The third was an encounter at the Attic where a woman just threw open a curtain to our private play area and jumped onto the bed with us. She had to be removed by Attic staff and was very angry that we had no interest in her.
We've never had an issue with single men so it's interesting that only women are causing us trouble."
Blimey! You meet some emotional ladies....i think this life style makes ppl a little delusional tbh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s easy to see if there is interest or not when conversing in clubs maybe mixed messages, maybe just bad luck ?? Never been in such a position but I’d act how I’d expect others to act and be gracious and friendly and move on!!
Had a few flouncy couples (or half of the couple) after a no thank you and some rude guys but never single female ( not encountered that many of them tbh) |
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"Maybe your rude ? And dont realise it ... 3 women doing the same kinda points towards this "
Does that mean that when a single ladie or a couple get bad reactions to rejection they are being rude as well? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately sometimes clubs are more reluctant to come down hard on female invasion of space, poor behaviour, etc, than male. It isn't right, and personally I treat people as I wish to be treated. "
I would never DREAM of touching anyone, male or female without an explicit invitation. Just as I don't expect anyone to touch me unless I've said it's OK. To me that is as basic as it gets. |
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"Unfortunately sometimes clubs are more reluctant to come down hard on female invasion of space, poor behaviour, etc, than male. It isn't right, and personally I treat people as I wish to be treated.
I would never DREAM of touching anyone, male or female without an explicit invitation. Just as I don't expect anyone to touch me unless I've said it's OK. To me that is as basic as it gets. "
Absolutely. I'll take small liberties with friends, but that's all. If I don't know you, I'm not touching you unless it's extremely clearly desired. |
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"To elaborate a little, the first instance was a meet through FAB, at a club. We felt we were catfished as we were told she was a size 10, yet in person seemed more like a size 14. We were friendly, but the male half of us isn't at all attracted to women who aren't very slim so had to turn down several awkward physical advances. At this point she had a meltdown in the ladies with our female half.
The second was a similar encounter, except it was spontaneous at the Attic and not pre-arranged on FAB. Our male half again just hoped that acting disinterested would get the message across, yet physical contact was made without consent and after a simple reply of "you're not my type" she left crying and angry.
The third was an encounter at the Attic where a woman just threw open a curtain to our private play area and jumped onto the bed with us. She had to be removed by Attic staff and was very angry that we had no interest in her.
We've never had an issue with single men so it's interesting that only women are causing us trouble."
Sounds like your “male half” is irresistible  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To elaborate a little, the first instance was a meet through FAB, at a club. We felt we were catfished as we were told she was a size 10, yet in person seemed more like a size 14. We were friendly, but the male half of us isn't at all attracted to women who aren't very slim so had to turn down several awkward physical advances. At this point she had a meltdown in the ladies with our female half.
The second was a similar encounter, except it was spontaneous at the Attic and not pre-arranged on FAB. Our male half again just hoped that acting disinterested would get the message across, yet physical contact was made without consent and after a simple reply of "you're not my type" she left crying and angry.
The third was an encounter at the Attic where a woman just threw open a curtain to our private play area and jumped onto the bed with us. She had to be removed by Attic staff and was very angry that we had no interest in her.
We've never had an issue with single men so it's interesting that only women are causing us trouble.
Sounds like your “male half” is irresistible "
I've been in the fetish scene for eleven years. Slim, dominant women are like hen's teeth. But everyone's entitled to a preference. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
I don't think women are unable to handle rejection, I think some people are. Expectations, anticipation - people are human and will act in various ways when they are rejected. I do think that sometimes women can feel a bit like unrejectable goddesses and it must hurt a bit more when they are. Perhaps there were mixed signals? Perhaps they were having a bad day. Whatever it was, handling it privately is the best thing but sometimes you can't help your immediate response.
Touching without consent is wrong, obviously. |
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"Fab/ swinging can create a false sense of expectation as a woman, because yes, you are fawned over. It can take a readjustment. (fortunately my surprises were online and I readjusted to closer to normal quickly and privately)
I couldn't agree with this more. Everyone here has to manage their expectations, without exception. "
agree with this too.
Maybe clubs need to be reminding their customers that rejection is possible and that they shouldn't take things to heart.
Excess of booze isn't helpful or attractive either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab/ swinging can create a false sense of expectation as a woman, because yes, you are fawned over. It can take a readjustment. (fortunately my surprises were online and I readjusted to closer to normal quickly and privately)
I couldn't agree with this more. Everyone here has to manage their expectations, without exception. agree with this too.
Maybe clubs need to be reminding their customers that rejection is possible and that they shouldn't take things to heart.
Excess of booze isn't helpful or attractive either. "
Or any other substances. Seen that end in tears more than once  |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
We barely approach people at parties or in clubs. We wait for them to come to us or try and smile or catch their attention.
Its hard to judge and don't want to offend people!!
We're a bigger couple so know full well we wont everyone's cup of tea!! Plus K has short hair and lots of folks don't like that on women (not everyone looks as sexy as P!nk with short hair hahaha).
However these reactions seem a bit over the top!! No one likes rejection but you accept it and move on!! We certainly wouldnt touch anyone without being invited to do so. I do find it rude that as I like to walk round clubs and such naked people think it's ok just to grope me... I don't mind really but ask first, especially as I'm usually wearing my collar they should be asking C!!
I did have a reaction a little like this at party but in a different circumstance. We never got to the bottom of it but were pushed out of a group we were chatting with because someone in the group didnt want to play with one us but we don't know which one or who it was now as we had 3 different versions of events!! But rather than tell us they just disappeared off together and were very rude!! I was a bit d*unk that night and took it the wrong way and got upset. But I didnt make a scene, we had a caravan on site so I went and took some time out before going back to the party. Turns out we had a brilliant night after that!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe your rude ? And dont realise it ... 3 women doing the same kinda points towards this "
So if I met you in a club and you rejected me and 2 other guys.... and we stormed off in a huff.....
Would you consider yourself being a rude person ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like alcohol might have played a large part tbh. Women do get used to being pursued and complimented, even old grumpy fat ones like me, but most of us try to keep a sense of realism.
We’re these incidents well into a long night? |
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Women think if they turn Up to a club they’ll be hit on and have their pick. If they can’t do this in a place where people are gagging for sex, it’s will make them question their motive for even going.
Good for people to have a reality check from the bubble and illusion fab creates |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women think if they turn Up to a club they’ll be hit on and have their pick. If they can’t do this in a place where people are gagging for sex, it’s will make them question their motive for even going.
Good for people to have a reality check from the bubble and illusion fab creates "
I went out with my boys this weekend and saw something crazy......
In a packed club a girl at our table was on instagram talking to people online....
I asked her what are you doing?
She said “ I’m bored and the music doesn’t do it for me “
I asked to see her instagram page and she gave me access , she had over 100k followers and she looks like a beautiful runway model in her pic’s..... as I’m strolling through her pics , I started looking at her...
Totally different person in the flesh.... she wasn’t unattractive but no where near as hot online persona. So now I understood why she was on her phone in a club full of people.....
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women think if they turn Up to a club they’ll be hit on and have their pick. If they can’t do this in a place where people are gagging for sex, it’s will make them question their motive for even going.
Good for people to have a reality check from the bubble and illusion fab creates "
You know, not all of us kid ourselves like that. This is the second time I've seen you mention this today. Why do you think it's on your mind so much? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women think if they turn Up to a club they’ll be hit on and have their pick. If they can’t do this in a place where people are gagging for sex, it’s will make them question their motive for even going.
Good for people to have a reality check from the bubble and illusion fab creates
I went out with my boys this weekend and saw something crazy......
In a packed club a girl at our table was on instagram talking to people online....
I asked her what are you doing?
She said “ I’m bored and the music doesn’t do it for me “
I asked to see her instagram page and she gave me access , she had over 100k followers and she looks like a beautiful runway model in her pic’s..... as I’m strolling through her pics , I started looking at her...
Totally different person in the flesh.... she wasn’t unattractive but no where near as hot online persona. So now I understood why she was on her phone in a club full of people.....
"
Guys do this too. One of the most common things is lying about age or height. I met a guy who was ten years older than he claimed and more than once 6ft has turned out to be very inaccurate. I've also encountered more than one penis that was a fraction of the carefully angled (possibly even completely different) penis in the picture. Vanity and delusion is not limited to women. Just saying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Women think if they turn Up to a club they’ll be hit on and have their pick. If they can’t do this in a place where people are gagging for sex, it’s will make them question their motive for even going.
Good for people to have a reality check from the bubble and illusion fab creates
I went out with my boys this weekend and saw something crazy......
In a packed club a girl at our table was on instagram talking to people online....
I asked her what are you doing?
She said “ I’m bored and the music doesn’t do it for me “
I asked to see her instagram page and she gave me access , she had over 100k followers and she looks like a beautiful runway model in her pic’s..... as I’m strolling through her pics , I started looking at her...
Totally different person in the flesh.... she wasn’t unattractive but no where near as hot online persona. So now I understood why she was on her phone in a club full of people.....
Guys do this too. One of the most common things is lying about age or height. I met a guy who was ten years older than he claimed and more than once 6ft has turned out to be very inaccurate. I've also encountered more than one penis that was a fraction of the carefully angled (possibly even completely different) penis in the picture. Vanity and delusion is not limited to women. Just saying. "
Yes very true, I just never seen that before....
Someone surrounded by 1,000 people just scrolling through their phone... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women think if they turn Up to a club they’ll be hit on and have their pick. If they can’t do this in a place where people are gagging for sex, it’s will make them question their motive for even going.
Good for people to have a reality check from the bubble and illusion fab creates
I went out with my boys this weekend and saw something crazy......
In a packed club a girl at our table was on instagram talking to people online....
I asked her what are you doing?
She said “ I’m bored and the music doesn’t do it for me “
I asked to see her instagram page and she gave me access , she had over 100k followers and she looks like a beautiful runway model in her pic’s..... as I’m strolling through her pics , I started looking at her...
Totally different person in the flesh.... she wasn’t unattractive but no where near as hot online persona. So now I understood why she was on her phone in a club full of people.....
Guys do this too. One of the most common things is lying about age or height. I met a guy who was ten years older than he claimed and more than once 6ft has turned out to be very inaccurate. I've also encountered more than one penis that was a fraction of the carefully angled (possibly even completely different) penis in the picture. Vanity and delusion is not limited to women. Just saying.
Yes very true, I just never seen that before....
Someone surrounded by 1,000 people just scrolling through their phone..."
You've clearly never met my ex husband |
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By *ocothumpaMan
over a year ago
quite close to you |
I went to a night with a female friend and she had her eye on a guy, she went over started talking...she got turned down with a smile and that ruined her night...in that time I was rejected four times. Still had a great night.
One of those women just looked at me, before I even opened my mouth to say 'hi' she said 'No!' Then laughed.
My friend she couldn't understand why she had been turned down
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"To elaborate a little, the first instance was a meet through FAB, at a club. We felt we were catfished as we were told she was a size 10, yet in person seemed more like a size 14. We were friendly, but the male half of us isn't at all attracted to women who aren't very slim so had to turn down several awkward physical advances. At this point she had a meltdown in the ladies with our female half.
The second was a similar encounter, except it was spontaneous at the Attic and not pre-arranged on FAB. Our male half again just hoped that acting disinterested would get the message across, yet physical contact was made without consent and after a simple reply of "you're not my type" she left crying and angry.
The third was an encounter at the Attic where a woman just threw open a curtain to our private play area and jumped onto the bed with us. She had to be removed by Attic staff and was very angry that we had no interest in her.
We've never had an issue with single men so it's interesting that only women are causing us trouble."
I’m loving this thread. |
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By *hMyGawd OP Couple
over a year ago
Midlands |
Imagine your average woman making a pass at 100 guys, versus your average man making a pass at 100 women. Either online or in real life. Who do you think gets slapped, rejected or shamed the most?
Women definitely have the upper hand in all aspects of dating, relationships, marriage and divorce. |
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"Imagine your average woman making a pass at 100 guys, versus your average man making a pass at 100 women. Either online or in real life. Who do you think gets slapped, rejected or shamed the most?
Women definitely have the upper hand in all aspects of dating, relationships, marriage and divorce."
Maybe women in general. All women specifically? No.
I learned early to shut up and hide or face humiliation. |
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By *hMyGawd OP Couple
over a year ago
Midlands |
To put it another way, for a man to be very successful at dating / pulling he has to be tall, handsome, fit, rich and funny.
For a woman to be successful she just has to have a vagina  Men have zero standards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To put it another way, for a man to be very successful at dating / pulling he has to be tall, handsome, fit, rich and funny.
For a woman to be successful she just has to have a vagina Men have zero standards."
Yep, hit the nail on the head here. And to answer your question, nope, women can't handle rejection |
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"To put it another way, for a man to be very successful at dating / pulling he has to be tall, handsome, fit, rich and funny.
For a woman to be successful she just has to have a vagina Men have zero standards."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like your “male half” is irresistible
Picky more like  "
He sounds like my husband haha! he is definitely the more picky half... nothing wrong with that though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are definitely a lot more conscious about letting women down as from experience women seem to handle it worse.
And it's actually me that's alot more picky with women ( Mrs )  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe your rude ? And dont realise it ... 3 women doing the same kinda points towards this
Does that mean that when a single ladie or a couple get bad reactions to rejection they are being rude as well?"
Couple of days back we had nice thread "opinion" vs "judgement" that day I thought useless discussion, now seems apt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To put it another way, for a man to be very successful at dating / pulling he has to be tall, handsome, fit, rich and funny.
For a woman to be successful she just has to have a vagina Men have zero standards."
That skilfully manages to insult both sexes simultaneously. I'm sorry for whatever happened to make you view the world as you do and I hope you get past it |
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If I get rejected in a club my brain does go into overdrive with why? I must be too ugly, fat etc but on the outside I just smile, say "no worries have fun" and walk away. I would never throw a temper tantrum, cry or touch uninvited |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I get rejected in a club my brain does go into overdrive with why? I must be too ugly, fat etc but on the outside I just smile, say "no worries have fun" and walk away. I would never throw a temper tantrum, cry or touch uninvited "
Hope you don't mind me saying so but your pics are awesome. Just gorgeous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I get rejected in a club my brain does go into overdrive with why? I must be too ugly, fat etc but on the outside I just smile, say "no worries have fun" and walk away. I would never throw a temper tantrum, cry or touch uninvited "
Thank you for being honest........
Everyone feels the same way when rejected... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think alot of women on here feel like they're above everyone else due to the attention they get on here, where in real life on the street they wouldn't get a second glance."
Yes but the caveat is that in real life, these women are dressed for work and being a mother/wife.....
If they walked around naked or with the sexy outfits on their profile pics.... trust me they would get the same attention in public... |
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"If I get rejected in a club my brain does go into overdrive with why? I must be too ugly, fat etc but on the outside I just smile, say "no worries have fun" and walk away. I would never throw a temper tantrum, cry or touch uninvited
Hope you don't mind me saying so but your pics are awesome. Just gorgeous. "
Aw thank you. I love your profile, it's perfect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think alot of women on here feel like they're above everyone else due to the attention they get on here, where in real life on the street they wouldn't get a second glance."
I think anyone who thinks that is rather delusional. And with respect that's because of desperate, thirsty men. Is that more attractive? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I get rejected in a club my brain does go into overdrive with why? I must be too ugly, fat etc but on the outside I just smile, say "no worries have fun" and walk away. I would never throw a temper tantrum, cry or touch uninvited
Hope you don't mind me saying so but your pics are awesome. Just gorgeous.
Aw thank you. I love your profile, it's perfect "
Wow, thank you so much. Nicest compliment I've had in ages  |
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By *J RHEAMan
over a year ago
S West |
"I think alot of women on here feel like they're above everyone else due to the attention they get on here, where in real life on the street they wouldn't get a second glance.
I think anyone who thinks that is rather delusional. And with respect that's because of desperate, thirsty men. Is that more attractive? "
Probably, I'd say I'm not that thirsty or desperate, certainly don't suck upto women on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think alot of women on here feel like they're above everyone else due to the attention they get on here, where in real life on the street they wouldn't get a second glance.
I think anyone who thinks that is rather delusional. And with respect that's because of desperate, thirsty men. Is that more attractive?
Probably, I'd say I'm not that thirsty or desperate, certainly don't suck upto women on here."
I didn't say you were, love. Im saying that if this unattractive behaviour in women exists it's because of equally unattractive behaviour in men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes the best way to handle rejection is to think, "well its their loss, not worth my time." Ofc try not let that go to your head and start believing youre some kind of sex god |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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swinging and rejection goes hand in hand if you cant handle rejection then you should not be swinging ... but that being said no rejection needs to be nasty or rude |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
Everyone saying that women feel entitled I disagree. I certainly don't!!
We appreciate our profile wont be for everyone and that being a larger couple it can be more tricky. It's why we find clubs difficult I think. Too worried about approaching people incase we upset or offend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think alot of women on here feel like they're above everyone else due to the attention they get on here, where in real life on the street they wouldn't get a second glance."
Have to disagree.
I can be picky on this site but I'm very personality based. Those I may not be interested in on the site I have easily changed my mind when meeting at a club. Personality Really plays a huge part for me.
Where as the fella can make a decision on looks purely no problem. |
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"swinging and rejection goes hand in hand if you cant handle rejection then you should not be swinging ... but that being said no rejection needs to be nasty or rude"
Fully agree with this
I suspect the issue with women is that the men who can’t handle rejection tend to crash and burn pretty quickly on here due to the well known ratios, often posting threads on here complaining about rejection or lack of meets
Those that either handle it well initially or learn how to deal with it stay around on here and are probably those you meet in clubs, hence why they take it ok
Because of the ratios the women on here simply experience rejection less, not to say it doesn’t happen but the amount and frequency of it occurring is much lower, and the degree of fawning from men keen for meets may increase the feeling of ‘invulnerability’ in that sense for some, and I’m guessing that’s why you had those 3 experiences
That’s not to say there’s not large numbers of women on here who’ve experienced rejection and take it well as the posts above show, I just think because of how fab is by the time you get into a club the men who go will, by and large, have got used to it by then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And if men didn't fawn over them it wouldn't happen.
So it is men’s fault that some women can’t take rejection  "
That's not even close to what I said, is it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And if men didn't fawn over them it wouldn't happen.
So it is men’s fault that some women can’t take rejection
That's not even close to what I said, is it. "
Isn’t it? What was your point then ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And if men didn't fawn over them it wouldn't happen.
So it is men’s fault that some women can’t take rejection
That's not even close to what I said, is it.
Isn’t it? What was your point then ? "
It's really clear, if you can't understand the posts I won't be able to explain it to you. |
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When we get rejected I definitely feel it more than my partner as he just moves on with the night. I prefer not to put myself in a situation where I may be rejected and read the signals. If the vibes aren't positive then you can politely go chat to someone else without the need for anyone having to spell it out to you that they don't fancy you or whatever. Admittedly this works better with single guys as they make their feelings more obvious. Couples and women can be harder to judge. Personally I've always taken rejection quite hard in life but in the fab world I'm learning to be tougher. |
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I've had both sexes throw their toys out of pram when not getting the response they were expecting. ALWAYS very polite and nice but that doesn't guarantee similar response.
In some cases there was a sense of entitlement and ego where I think they are used to very eager men.
Not pretending to be gods gift or anything. In one case for a potential mmf my male mate was very put out that her pics and description was not in least bit accurate. We met in pub and I had pressure to manage the situation. He was less patient. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And if men didn't fawn over them it wouldn't happen.
So it is men’s fault that some women can’t take rejection
That's not even close to what I said, is it.
Isn’t it? What was your point then ?
It's really clear, if you can't understand the posts I won't be able to explain it to you. "
Ah, so you are unable to explain it. I stand by my original post. If people get emotional after being rejected whilst swinging then they should consider leaving the scene ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And if men didn't fawn over them it wouldn't happen.
So it is men’s fault that some women can’t take rejection
That's not even close to what I said, is it.
Isn’t it? What was your point then ?
It's really clear, if you can't understand the posts I won't be able to explain it to you.
Ah, so you are unable to explain it. I stand by my original post. If people get emotional after being rejected whilst swinging then they should consider leaving the scene ??"
Go and fight with someone else, poppet. I'm not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And if men didn't fawn over them it wouldn't happen.
So it is men’s fault that some women can’t take rejection
That's not even close to what I said, is it.
Isn’t it? What was your point then ?
It's really clear, if you can't understand the posts I won't be able to explain it to you.
Ah, so you are unable to explain it. I stand by my original post. If people get emotional after being rejected whilst swinging then they should consider leaving the scene ??
Go and fight with someone else, poppet. I'm not interested. "
Haha. Ok , my dear |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And if men didn't fawn over them it wouldn't happen.
So it is men’s fault that some women can’t take rejection
That's not even close to what I said, is it.
Isn’t it? What was your point then ?
It's really clear, if you can't understand the posts I won't be able to explain it to you.
Ah, so you are unable to explain it. I stand by my original post. If people get emotional after being rejected whilst swinging then they should consider leaving the scene ??
Go and fight with someone else, poppet. I'm not interested.
Haha. Ok , my dear "
Thank you, princess  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think my ego is probably too fragile to handle rejection which is why I'm never brave enough to approach anyone I fancy in a club. If I did get rejected then I would be full of self doubt but certainly wouldn't throw a strop. At least if I get rejected online then i can hide my reaction! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Societal norms dictate in most scenerios men have to be the one to make the first move in a heterosexual encounter therefore statistically you have to get used to being rejected.
If I sat and waited to be approached I'd have a thick layer of dust covering be before I got laid.
I don't think this is particularly correct but it's a part of life and necessary to get my trouser snake some action! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of single women are fawned over on here and in clubs so they would certainly find rejection something new and upsetting."
Many women openly admit they won't go searching for people to meet because they can't cope with being rejected.
|
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I’ve been rejected on here today. Bizarrely by a guy that contacted me. He didn’t like my private pics. It’s not a problem for me. I’m not to his taste and he’s allowed to feel like that. No big deal, good luck and happy fabbing. We can’t suit everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve been rejected on here today. Bizarrely by a guy that contacted me. He didn’t like my private pics. It’s not a problem for me. I’m not to his taste and he’s allowed to feel like that. No big deal, good luck and happy fabbing. We can’t suit everyone. "
That is strange, especially when you're not exactly shy on your public pics |
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"I’ve been rejected on here today. Bizarrely by a guy that contacted me. He didn’t like my private pics. It’s not a problem for me. I’m not to his taste and he’s allowed to feel like that. No big deal, good luck and happy fabbing. We can’t suit everyone.
That is strange, especially when you're not exactly shy on your public pics "
That’s what I found bizarre |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve been rejected on here today. Bizarrely by a guy that contacted me. He didn’t like my private pics. It’s not a problem for me. I’m not to his taste and he’s allowed to feel like that. No big deal, good luck and happy fabbing. We can’t suit everyone. "
Few weeks and he'll contact you again. This happens to me a lot, I'll start talking to someone, they'll go quiet, I'll forget them and move on and then they'll pop back up again. Having not found anything better anywhere else. Then they get "who dis" cos I've deleted their number and it seems to prick them a bit. I guess they thought I was just sitting and waiting, afraid to eat in case I had food in my mouth when they called |
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A few days ago we sent a wink and received one back then sent our face pics, after a few hours the message we sent was deleted which is fine as it tells us that they were not interested, we then blocked the profile so that if we come across their profile in future it tells us that either we are not interested in them or them in us, it works for us as it saves time so we don’t end up revisiting pointless profiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women are fawned at on here which puts them into bad practice by making many of them think they are the main even regardless of phisical attraction and preference.
Its not mixed signals, its just not being prepared snd not managing expectations |
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I have never had a problem with it if someone is not interested fine not everyone is universal attracted to people so we are all bound to get rejected. I fine in the main single men are fine with it too its the couples who have real issues expecialy if you say you are not attracted to one half the other goes apeshit and throws a paddy. |
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The one thing about clubs that is easy to do is make yourself unattractive to any unwanted suitors, by talking vanilla boring stuff and they can move on without hurting their feelings. Of course those who do pique your interest, you will get to flirt with them.
The good thing about this approach is that there is no angst and residual tension left after the encounter and they can move on to enjoy their evening.
Some people have no regard to leaving others with their dignity in place and letting the evening proceed without dramas for those not privy to whatever has been said to spoil their time out too.
Disputes by others can still go someway to setting the tone of the event to those not involved.
Be nice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The one thing about clubs that is easy to do is make yourself unattractive to any unwanted suitors, by talking vanilla boring stuff and they can move on without hurting their feelings. Of course those who do pique your interest, you will get to flirt with them.
The good thing about this approach is that there is no angst and residual tension left after the encounter and they can move on to enjoy their evening.
Some people have no regard to leaving others with their dignity in place and letting the evening proceed without dramas for those not privy to whatever has been said to spoil their time out too.
Disputes by others can still go someway to setting the tone of the event to those not involved.
Be nice. "
This is so relevant. It's so important to understand that just being at an event or club doesn't mean you're up for anything. You've got to read the signals. If someone is interested they'll let you know, either explicitly or another clear way. Try to look at them and listen instead of mentally planning what you're going to do to them once the talking is out of the way. It's the key to success and reducing fall out. It's so irksome when people won't do this and it puts people off attending things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being catfished is awful, but I love how you think a size 14 is big lol.
Im my experience I've found extremely slim ladies to be very obnoxious.
If being rejected makes you cry maybe swinging isn't for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being catfished is awful, but I love how you think a size 14 is big lol.
Im my experience I've found extremely slim ladies to be very obnoxious.
If being rejected makes you cry maybe swinging isn't for you."
I haven't met enough of them in this or the fetish scene to judge |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"Being catfished is awful, but I love how you think a size 14 is big lol.
Im my experience I've found extremely slim ladies to be very obnoxious.
If being rejected makes you cry maybe swinging isn't for you."
You don't need to insult another body type to defend your own.
Personally I'm a size 14 and I do think it's quite big. But people like what they like, I don't think the op was slagging off bigger women, just said its not for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being catfished is awful, but I love how you think a size 14 is big lol.
Im my experience I've found extremely slim ladies to be very obnoxious.
If being rejected makes you cry maybe swinging isn't for you.
You don't need to insult another body type to defend your own.
Personally I'm a size 14 and I do think it's quite big. But people like what they like, I don't think the op was slagging off bigger women, just said its not for them. "
I totally agree with this, I'm not comfortable with how people are made to feel guilty for not wanting to play with larger women. The OPs didn't say anything derogatory and they're more than entitled to say no to anyone. I only meant that in all my years in the fetish scene I really haven't met that many women who were under a size 14. I've met some of course but they weren't in any more demand than women of any other size. The first one I thought of was one of the sweetest people I've ever encountered, she was 100% adorable. It's a sensitive issue but I think people can be too quick to look for offence where none was intended. |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
We dont really ever message people who are slim or athletic. Not because we wouldnt want to play with them but because of our body type we probably wouldn't be for them. If they message us then we would respond |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We dont really ever message people who are slim or athletic. Not because we wouldnt want to play with them but because of our body type we probably wouldn't be for them. If they message us then we would respond "
You're smaller than me and I pretty much only play with very tall muscular athletic guys, my boyfriend is also one. I don't think a man's body type affects what he finds attractive. |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"We dont really ever message people who are slim or athletic. Not because we wouldnt want to play with them but because of our body type we probably wouldn't be for them. If they message us then we would respond
You're smaller than me and I pretty much only play with very tall muscular athletic guys, my boyfriend is also one. I don't think a man's body type affects what he finds attractive. "
We at the moment arent playing with single guys. And couples profiles often state no larger people or they do round here anyway. |
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"To elaborate a little, the first instance was a meet through FAB, at a club. We felt we were catfished as we were told she was a size 10, yet in person seemed more like a size 14. We were friendly, but the male half of us isn't at all attracted to women who aren't very slim so had to turn down several awkward physical advances. At this point she had a meltdown in the ladies with our female half.
The second was a similar encounter, except it was spontaneous at the Attic and not pre-arranged on FAB. Our male half again just hoped that acting disinterested would get the message across, yet physical contact was made without consent and after a simple reply of "you're not my type" she left crying and angry.
The third was an encounter at the Attic where a woman just threw open a curtain to our private play area and jumped onto the bed with us. She had to be removed by Attic staff and was very angry that we had no interest in her.
We've never had an issue with single men so it's interesting that only women are causing us trouble."
All three instances are justified I think, if you are not attracted to someone then that is a personal choice (I have a met a few for a social myself who's photos were clearly 10 years old!)
However, I am a size 14 and to think I am in the 'not very slim' category makes me think I should give up my treasured Haribos ........ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I rejected a woman in Chams a few years ago. She was attractive, but just not for me for various reasons.
What surprised me was that it wasn't her that took it badly, it was her husband. He got so angry I really thought it was going to escalate into something quite ugly. It didn't though, but he accused me of taking the piss. |
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"Fab/ swinging can create a false sense of expectation as a woman, because yes, you are fawned over. It can take a readjustment. (fortunately my surprises were online and I readjusted to closer to normal quickly and privately) "
Hang on just checking.....you got rejected by someone!!!!???? Wow what is wrong with people! |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
Everyone reacts differently to rejecting, when it's face to face it can sting a little.
I've been rejected plenty of times, it is what it is and we can't all fit other peoples preferences |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all
Whenever we've turned a guy down at a club there's been no problem, just a smile and well wishes.
However the last 3 women we've politely turned down as not our type have stormed off, one in tears. It's quite shocking actually.
Are women unable to handle rejection?"
yes women are in such demand on this site that rejection would rarely be a problem, you can really tell by the speed and carefree attitudes they have and how quickly the block button gets used when they encounter just a smidgen of negativity so to be in a club with the opportunity to play imminent and to be rejected would come hard to many lol  |
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No one likes rejection, but I'd like to think I'm an adult about it.
Last 2 club nights I've been to have resulted in no play for me at all, still had a good night though.
The way I look at it is I'd rather be someone's shot of whiskey than everyone's cup of tea  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sure Mr ABC would raise an eyebrow at me here, but I've had way more inappropriate touching from women in clubs than I have from men. Some aren't bothered when I say no, others look a bit hurt, but there's never been a full on strop thank goodness  |
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I’m not perfect by any means and I’ve been turned down a few times, as I too have also rejected by a females.
It’s not a nice thing to do, and I think any reasonably nice person doesn’t enjoy doing it. but like some others, I do have to be attracted to the female, otherwise he ain’t rising!!!
Usually a “no thank you” works both ways, never been offended by it. Been awkward once, as I really liked this female half of a couple and was chatting to her, when another female came up real close to me. I just said no thank you, she did seem a bit off, but just sat and listened to us chat...oh and I then got rejected by the other female
No harm done and we all live to fab on!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can understand why a single woman might be reluctant to make the first move. After all, they're supposed to be rare and in demand, so it must hurt at least a little when they're effectively saying 'fuck me' and the answer is no. |
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By *J RHEAMan
over a year ago
S West |
"No one likes rejection, but I'd like to think I'm an adult about it.
Last 2 club nights I've been to have resulted in no play for me at all, still had a good night though.
The way I look at it is I'd rather be someone's shot of whiskey than everyone's cup of tea "
I don't like tea |
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"To elaborate a little, the first instance was a meet through FAB, at a club. We felt we were catfished as we were told she was a size 10, yet in person seemed more like a size 14. We were friendly, but the male half of us isn't at all attracted to women who aren't very slim so had to turn down several awkward physical advances. At this point she had a meltdown in the ladies with our female half.
The second was a similar encounter, except it was spontaneous at the Attic and not pre-arranged on FAB. Our male half again just hoped that acting disinterested would get the message across, yet physical contact was made without consent and after a simple reply of "you're not my type" she left crying and angry.
The third was an encounter at the Attic where a woman just threw open a curtain to our private play area and jumped onto the bed with us. She had to be removed by Attic staff and was very angry that we had no interest in her.
We've never had an issue with single men so it's interesting that only women are causing us trouble.
All three instances are justified I think, if you are not attracted to someone then that is a personal choice (I have a met a few for a social myself who's photos were clearly 10 years old!)
However, I am a size 14 and to think I am in the 'not very slim' category makes me think I should give up my treasured Haribos ........ "
Do not give up Haribo for anyone or anything!! |
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"I'm sure Mr ABC would raise an eyebrow at me here, but I've had way more inappropriate touching from women in clubs than I have from men. Some aren't bothered when I say no, others look a bit hurt, but there's never been a full on strop thank goodness "
Yes we have found this to be the case too
Red |
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"Hi all
Whenever we've turned a guy down at a club there's been no problem, just a smile and well wishes.
However the last 3 women we've politely turned down as not our type have stormed off, one in tears. It's quite shocking actually.
Are women unable to handle rejection?"
Wow thought men didn't take it too well.. Sometimes alcohol enhances emotions. Maybe they would of handled it better if not under influence of alcohol or other things.
Personally i would never cry unless my ex lover for very long time left me... But not over a stranger. |
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