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By *lowhands7 OP Man 8 weeks ago
South Leicestershire (willing to travel) |
After having a couple of previous sub/Dom relationships in the past, I've found it hard to find a genuine sub woman again.
My post is simply to guage whether there are still sub women out there or women who are interested in it but haven't yet ventured and why? |
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"After having a couple of previous sub/Dom relationships in the past, I've found it hard to find a genuine sub woman again.
My post is simply to guage whether there are still sub women out there or women who are interested in it but haven't yet ventured and why?"
Well this depends on exactly what you mean.
Almost all women want the guy to take control in the bedroom. What they don’t want is a guy who has watched 50 shades of shit and thinks, “oh I’m an abusive, misogynistic narcissist. I must be a Dom” then proceeds to use the Dom label to justify being an abusive asshole.
All women need to feel safe, loved, respected, and treated like a Queen. This is a true Dom’s No.1 job.
When this is the case their natural submissive tendencies will shine through.
In this respect it’s down to the Dom to create a safe environment where his Queen can completely let go and “submit” to the pleasure of being “taken” liberated and thoroughly ravished.
So in answer to the question…. Is there still sub women out there? Yes most definitely!
However the more relevant question may be…. Are there still “true” Dominant men out there???
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By *lowhands7 OP Man 8 weeks ago
South Leicestershire (willing to travel) |
Agree with you to a point. 100% agree with you regarding respect, relationship, trust and experience. I also agree there are many "wannabes".
I definitely don't agree that almost all women want to be dominated and want the male to take the lead and think it's wrong to assume that.
My post is not to define what a sub/Dom relationship is as those who have truly played, whichever way round, will already know that. I am trying to guage the amount of those with a genuine interest in it on this site. |
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By *lowhands7 OP Man 8 weeks ago
South Leicestershire (willing to travel) |
"Fab isn’t the best site to look for kinky partners. I have had a lot of success just meeting and speaking to people face to face at munches and in the dungeon at local clubs. "
Appreciate that  |
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"After having a couple of previous sub/Dom relationships in the past, I've found it hard to find a genuine sub woman again.
My post is simply to guage whether there are still sub women out there or women who are interested in it but haven't yet ventured and why?
Well this depends on exactly what you mean.
Almost all women want the guy to take control in the bedroom. What they don’t want is a guy who has watched 50 shades of shit and thinks, “oh I’m an abusive, misogynistic narcissist. I must be a Dom” then proceeds to use the Dom label to justify being an abusive asshole.
All women need to feel safe, loved, respected, and treated like a Queen. This is a true Dom’s No.1 job.
When this is the case their natural submissive tendencies will shine through.
In this respect it’s down to the Dom to create a safe environment where his Queen can completely let go and “submit” to the pleasure of being “taken” liberated and thoroughly ravished.
So in answer to the question…. Is there still sub women out there? Yes most definitely!
However the more relevant question may be…. Are there still “true” Dominant men out there???
"
Agree with you entirely xx |
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"Agree with you to a point. 100% agree with you regarding respect, relationship, trust and experience. I also agree there are many "wannabes".
I definitely don't agree that almost all women want to be dominated and want the male to take the lead and think it's wrong to assume that.
My post is not to define what a sub/Dom relationship is as those who have truly played, whichever way round, will already know that. I am trying to guage the amount of those with a genuine interest in it on this site."
Of course this is just my opinion based on my own experiences, and accept my perspective my be skewed slightly as most ladies I meet with or know do enjoy being submissive and having the man take the lead.
The reason I wrote this post was to highlight the safe space/ environment.
Not all women would feel comfortable admitting their submissive tendencies on here, because they know they are likely to receive a barrage of stupid messages from the “ get on your knees slut, I’m going to destroy you” crowd.
|
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"After having a couple of previous sub/Dom relationships in the past, I've found it hard to find a genuine sub woman again.
My post is simply to guage whether there are still sub women out there or women who are interested in it but haven't yet ventured and why?
Well this depends on exactly what you mean.
Almost all women want the guy to take control in the bedroom. What they don’t want is a guy who has watched 50 shades of shit and thinks, “oh I’m an abusive, misogynistic narcissist. I must be a Dom” then proceeds to use the Dom label to justify being an abusive asshole.
All women need to feel safe, loved, respected, and treated like a Queen. This is a true Dom’s No.1 job.
When this is the case their natural submissive tendencies will shine through.
In this respect it’s down to the Dom to create a safe environment where his Queen can completely let go and “submit” to the pleasure of being “taken” liberated and thoroughly ravished.
So in answer to the question…. Is there still sub women out there? Yes most definitely!
However the more relevant question may be…. Are there still “true” Dominant men out there???
"
You nailed it 👆🏻
Sub here & the only time I'll let anyone Dom me is if we have a created a close connection, otherwise you simply can not let yourself go |
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"Agree with you to a point. 100% agree with you regarding respect, relationship, trust and experience. I also agree there are many "wannabes".
I definitely don't agree that almost all women want to be dominated and want the male to take the lead and think it's wrong to assume that.
My post is not to define what a sub/Dom relationship is as those who have truly played, whichever way round, will already know that. I am trying to guage the amount of those with a genuine interest in it on this site.
Of course this is just my opinion based on my own experiences, and accept my perspective my be skewed slightly as most ladies I meet with or know do enjoy being submissive and having the man take the lead.
The reason I wrote this post was to highlight the safe space/ environment.
Not all women would feel comfortable admitting their submissive tendencies on here, because they know they are likely to receive a barrage of stupid messages from the “ get on your knees slut, I’m going to destroy you” crowd.
"
I can assure you it's a lot worse than that |
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"
Not all women would feel comfortable admitting their submissive tendencies on here, because they know they are likely to receive a barrage of stupid messages from the “ get on your knees slut, I’m going to destroy you” crowd.
I can assure you it's a lot worse than that "
+1 😵💫 |
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I was lucky I met R and told him what I liked. He had never been a Dom before more than some handcuff play. So it has been a great journey as he has learned along the way and have gone further than I have previously in sub roles.
But also means it isn’t his general nature to be Dom, it only comes out for play scenarios and dungeon visits. The rest of the time we are equal
We met on a dating app, and it wasn’t the first thing we discussed, it wasn’t until we started dating as a couple that I told him what I really wanted. |
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By *lowhands7 OP Man 8 weeks ago
South Leicestershire (willing to travel) |
"Agree with you to a point. 100% agree with you regarding respect, relationship, trust and experience. I also agree there are many "wannabes".
I definitely don't agree that almost all women want to be dominated and want the male to take the lead and think it's wrong to assume that.
My post is not to define what a sub/Dom relationship is as those who have truly played, whichever way round, will already know that. I am trying to guage the amount of those with a genuine interest in it on this site.
Of course this is just my opinion based on my own experiences, and accept my perspective my be skewed slightly as most ladies I meet with or know do enjoy being submissive and having the man take the lead.
The reason I wrote this post was to highlight the safe space/ environment.
Not all women would feel comfortable admitting their submissive tendencies on here, because they know they are likely to receive a barrage of stupid messages from the “ get on your knees slut, I’m going to destroy you” crowd.
I can assure you it's a lot worse than that "
That's not good to hear, not only.is it disrespectful to you, it ruins the chances for genuine people to make their connections by not feeling they can be open. Such a shame. I knew it was bad, but didn't realise it was that bad. |
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Might have read some of the above responses wrong but I've met many women on here and N.O.P.E, they don't all want a man to take control, be dominant, take the lead, push boundaries or whatever the suggestion may be in the bedroom. Yes there are subs, but then again you'd know as you'd be messaging getting to know what each other were about or it would say it on their profile.
Of those that aren't, good sex is what the majority are after.. whether that is on a window sill, a stair case, a bed, a floor or riding you to dust but it still doesn't necessitate the whole 'orgasm denial, spank your arse, take control' type sex that goes with the whole dom/sub category that some but not all women want on here. |
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"Agree with you to a point. 100% agree with you regarding respect, relationship, trust and experience. I also agree there are many "wannabes".
I definitely don't agree that almost all women want to be dominated and want the male to take the lead and think it's wrong to assume that.
My post is not to define what a sub/Dom relationship is as those who have truly played, whichever way round, will already know that. I am trying to guage the amount of those with a genuine interest in it on this site.
Of course this is just my opinion based on my own experiences, and accept my perspective my be skewed slightly as most ladies I meet with or know do enjoy being submissive and having the man take the lead.
The reason I wrote this post was to highlight the safe space/ environment.
Not all women would feel comfortable admitting their submissive tendencies on here, because they know they are likely to receive a barrage of stupid messages from the “ get on your knees slut, I’m going to destroy you” crowd.
I can assure you it's a lot worse than that "
I would like to apologise on behalf of men.
I’m embarrassed to be a man sometimes.
Thankfully most guys who contribute to the forums give me hope. |
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"After having a couple of previous sub/Dom relationships in the past, I've found it hard to find a genuine sub woman again.
My post is simply to guage whether there are still sub women out there or women who are interested in it but haven't yet ventured and why?
Well this depends on exactly what you mean.
Almost all women want the guy to take control in the bedroom. What they don’t want is a guy who has watched 50 shades of shit and thinks, “oh I’m an abusive, misogynistic narcissist. I must be a Dom” then proceeds to use the Dom label to justify being an abusive asshole.
All women need to feel safe, loved, respected, and treated like a Queen. This is a true Dom’s No.1 job.
When this is the case their natural submissive tendencies will shine through.
In this respect it’s down to the Dom to create a safe environment where his Queen can completely let go and “submit” to the pleasure of being “taken” liberated and thoroughly ravished.
So in answer to the question…. Is there still sub women out there? Yes most definitely!
However the more relevant question may be…. Are there still “true” Dominant men out there???
You nailed it 👆🏻
Sub here & the only time I'll let anyone Dom me is if we have a created a close connection, otherwise you simply can not let yourself go "
Happy Birthday to you gorgeous. 🥰
Hope you have the best day ever and have received lots of lovely birthday surprises.
🎂🎉🎁🎊 xx |
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"After having a couple of previous sub/Dom relationships in the past, I've found it hard to find a genuine sub woman again.
My post is simply to guage whether there are still sub women out there or women who are interested in it but haven't yet ventured and why?
Well this depends on exactly what you mean.
Almost all women want the guy to take control in the bedroom. What they don’t want is a guy who has watched 50 shades of shit and thinks, “oh I’m an abusive, misogynistic narcissist. I must be a Dom” then proceeds to use the Dom label to justify being an abusive asshole.
All women need to feel safe, loved, respected, and treated like a Queen. This is a true Dom’s No.1 job.
When this is the case their natural submissive tendencies will shine through.
In this respect it’s down to the Dom to create a safe environment where his Queen can completely let go and “submit” to the pleasure of being “taken” liberated and thoroughly ravished.
So in answer to the question…. Is there still sub women out there? Yes most definitely! "
Agreed.
Not every woman wants to submit. It's dangerous and a little misogynistic to think that, and a lot of people who want to submit regardless of gender, don't have the first clue what safe submission looks like, in the same way that 90% of people who say they're dominant REALLY aren't.
My interest in BDSM goes back 25 years and honestly I have more interest in that than swinging. I'm here for club VIP lists, not meets.
In all that time I think I could count the genuine safe players on one hand, maybe two. |
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"After having a couple of previous sub/Dom relationships in the past, I've found it hard to find a genuine sub woman again.
My post is simply to guage whether there are still sub women out there or women who are interested in it but haven't yet ventured and why?
Well this depends on exactly what you mean.
Almost all women want the guy to take control in the bedroom. What they don’t want is a guy who has watched 50 shades of shit and thinks, “oh I’m an abusive, misogynistic narcissist. I must be a Dom” then proceeds to use the Dom label to justify being an abusive asshole.
All women need to feel safe, loved, respected, and treated like a Queen. This is a true Dom’s No.1 job.
When this is the case their natural submissive tendencies will shine through.
In this respect it’s down to the Dom to create a safe environment where his Queen can completely let go and “submit” to the pleasure of being “taken” liberated and thoroughly ravished.
So in answer to the question…. Is there still sub women out there? Yes most definitely!
However the more relevant question may be…. Are there still “true” Dominant men out there???
You nailed it 👆🏻
Sub here & the only time I'll let anyone Dom me is if we have a created a close connection, otherwise you simply can not let yourself go
Happy Birthday to you gorgeous. 🥰
Hope you have the best day ever and have received lots of lovely birthday surprises.
🎂🎉🎁🎊 xx "
Thank you ☺️🥳 |
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"Fetlife is the place to be looking.
"
I’m also on there but the platform is still stuck in the early 90’s and not the most user friendly. It’s great for local events, info and friends but that’s about it.
I prefer fab for chatting, forums and I can assure you there are plenty of wonderful kinky folk here. |
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I tend to disagree with the opening posts.
I see the phrase sub/dom relationship as having three parts. 1. A Dom, 2. a sub. 3 a relationship. I take it as given that a relationship is based on the fundamentals of any relationship, that being mutual respect, regard for the other as a person, and desire to support the well being of the other. Whether people accept less or want to be treated as queen is a individual matter.
For me the nuts and bolts of the sub/Dom dynamic is so individual to each person and each interaction.
There are types of people that make me roll my eyes. Those that describe subDom relationships in a cookie cutter way. Those that use 50 Shades of Grey as a marker. Those Dominants who use the language of best practice in a sycophantic way. Those Dominants who disparage other Dominants. Disparaging certain behaviours is acceptable, but there is so much stereotyping and misinformation about M/s, property and Owner, sub/Dom, Top and bottom, that newbies may misunderstand how to describe their desires and do not fully understand the various paths that can be taken.
In terms of people who claim to be experienced I find usually people are only stating their preferences or their experiences. It is frustrating when they express their preferences as a golden rule.
For me (yes my preference) the only golden rule is that: except for freely given fully informed consent, respect, ethical behavior and safety, there is no one true way.
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"Agree with you to a point. 100% agree with you regarding respect, relationship, trust and experience. I also agree there are many "wannabes".
I definitely don't agree that almost all women want to be dominated and want the male to take the lead and think it's wrong to assume that.
My post is not to define what a sub/Dom relationship is as those who have truly played, whichever way round, will already know that. I am trying to guage the amount of those with a genuine interest in it on this site.
Of course this is just my opinion based on my own experiences, and accept my perspective my be skewed slightly as most ladies I meet with or know do enjoy being submissive and having the man take the lead.
The reason I wrote this post was to highlight the safe space/ environment.
Not all women would feel comfortable admitting their submissive tendencies on here, because they know they are likely to receive a barrage of stupid messages from the “ get on your knees slut, I’m going to destroy you” crowd.
I can assure you it's a lot worse than that "
Unfortunately I can only imagine 😬
The actions of people online will never cease to amaze me!
A 🙂 |
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"
For me (yes my preference) the only golden rule is that: except for freely given fully informed consent, respect, ethical behavior and safety, there is no one true way.
"
*Chef kiss*
D/s is different for everyone. When the criteria you mentioned are all hit and adhered to, it's a beautiful thing. |
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"Agree with you to a point. 100% agree with you regarding respect, relationship, trust and experience. I also agree there are many "wannabes".
I definitely don't agree that almost all women want to be dominated and want the male to take the lead and think it's wrong to assume that.
My post is not to define what a sub/Dom relationship is as those who have truly played, whichever way round, will already know that. I am trying to guage the amount of those with a genuine interest in it on this site.
Of course this is just my opinion based on my own experiences, and accept my perspective my be skewed slightly as most ladies I meet with or know do enjoy being submissive and having the man take the lead.
The reason I wrote this post was to highlight the safe space/ environment.
Not all women would feel comfortable admitting their submissive tendencies on here, because they know they are likely to receive a barrage of stupid messages from the “ get on your knees slut, I’m going to destroy you” crowd.
I can assure you it's a lot worse than that
Unfortunately I can only imagine 😬
The actions of people online will never cease to amaze me!
A 🙂"
Yep, I wonder if these people would act the same in person? Or only when they can hide behind a screen.
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