FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is swinging cheating?
Is swinging cheating?
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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Cheating for me involves some form of deceit or untruthfulness on behalf of the "doer"
Hubby is fine with me playing with others via this lifestyle as he is fully involved and informed.
He'd been less enamoured with a clandestine thing outside of this space, as that would be a breach of trust,which I think is the main point of difference between swinging and cheating |
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Obviously not. Cheating is deception through emotional, verbal or physical contact and it’s subjective even inside that. Some people don’t regard flirting as cheating. Some do. But it’s all deception.
Swinging is open and honest communication with any of the above within your own relationship boundaries. |
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Cheating is different to being non-monogamous. It involves the breaking of commitments to being faithful or having prior agreement to having engagement with others, before doing it, in my opinion.
Swinging is an agreed openness of the relationship, albeit within boundaries that are usually agreed to |
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We're not cheating, as he's always present. We are both fully consenting, in everything we do in the bedroom, car, club or out doggin. Mr either sets up and arranges stuff, or he aaks me to organise stuff.
Our rule is I don't play, unless he's there. That for us is cheating. I won't do that. |
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"Cheating for me involves some form of deceit or untruthfulness on behalf of the "doer"
Hubby is fine with me playing with others via this lifestyle as he is fully involved and informed.
He'd been less enamoured with a clandestine thing outside of this space, as that would be a breach of trust,which I think is the main point of difference between swinging and cheating "
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"We've been swinger for 4 years or so and when we tell people they are horrified and say it's just cheating what's peoples opinion on this ?
To normal civilians it is a form of cheating I guess "
lol well people ask what we get up to x |
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We just don't tell people. It's none of their business & they're unlikely to understand.
We've prepared an answer to that question, should it ever arrive though.
"It's like cheating, but licenced, with the other one there, also enjoying themself, so it's not cheating. That's probably a bit mind blowing for most people."
If that causes them a problem, then so be it. It's their problem, not ours. |
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Not cheating in our eyes as long as communications are open and both parties are happy.
I think many people outside of the lifestyle struggle to get their head around how it works.... we don't tell people for this reason.... they don't realise that what we do adds our relationship both mentally and physically and doesn't take away from it at all.
So many people can't understand how you can be excited by your partner being with someone else
.. but it works for us  |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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Alot of non swingers will not have the same opinion as swingers, because they have not experienced such things. I believe alot of people who think swinging is 'cheating' just use that as a excuse to judge others when actually they probably think about it themselves.
And its not cheating when all involved are consenting and happy   |
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"We've been swinger for 4 years or so and when we tell people they are horrified and say it's just cheating what's peoples opinion on this ?"
It is a shame when a few judgmental comments put people off. At the end of the day, it is about the two of you and what you both enjoy together. You should always do what feels right for you and continue exploring what you like as a couple, that is what truly matters. |
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Yep agree, cheating and swinging are totally different. I can understand people might think that but I think we probably all know the perception of swinging is very different to what it actually is. |
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By *bcplCouple 30 weeks ago
Aberdeenshire |
"Cheating for me involves some form of deceit or untruthfulness on behalf of the "doer"
Hubby is fine with me playing with others via this lifestyle as he is fully involved and informed.
He'd been less enamoured with a clandestine thing outside of this space, as that would be a breach of trust,which I think is the main point of difference between swinging and cheating "
Couldn’t have put it better myself.
Mr  |
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By *manteeCouple 30 weeks ago
Manchester |
I previously had a wife that cheated on me by having two affairs behind my back, conversely, myself and Em have embraced the swinging lifestyle, totally different as we are open and honest about it |
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Swinging in itself isn’t cheating. However, if someone who is married and meeting couples for fun without their partners’ permission, it is both swinging and cheatIng. If they’re just meeting another individual. Then it isn’t swinging, it’s just cheating. |
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I can't see how it can be cheating if both parties are fully aware, and participate.
We've always played with others, long before we were married.
As long as the couple both have the same outlook, and both enjoy, swinging makes any relationship stronger |
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The idea that it's cheating just comes from a place of ignorance and insecurity.
However I'm sure there is and I'm sure we've seen over the years some couples where this is partially true. Some couples one or both of them have lead them to the scene for unhealthy reasons, like being bored of their partner. In these cases they never last long as a couple because the lifestyle is very good at exposing the problems in a relationship.
I would also say for many who say swinging is just cheating it probably says more about their nature and/or relationship than it does about us. |
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"As long as it's Legal and Consensual, how can it be cheating or lying?
Doing it behind your partners back,is another thing entirely!"
Exactly this, sadly it’s the easy option for many regardless of the consequences |
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By *-and-GCouple 25 weeks ago
norfolk |
Not at all, if anything it’s the opposite, cheating to me is hiding, deceit, sneaking around and looking for an emotional / sexual connection outside of your relationship without your partners knowledge. Swinging is all about open and honest communication so that both (or more) parties can explore fantasies and sexual desires within the emotional boundaries of their relationship. |
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By *asha86Couple 25 weeks ago
walsall |
People who don't understand what swinging is i like to call muggles!
They don't understand it and judge it on what they think they know.
We don't try and steal your wife/husband
We won't sleep with just anyone.
For us since being on the scene we are way more open with each other and have no secrets.
Cheating is when you hold back things or hide things from each other and in the scene if your doing this your relationship will not last.
Swinging is not cheating.
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"Not at all, if anything it’s the opposite, cheating to me is hiding, deceit, sneaking around and looking for an emotional / sexual connection outside of your relationship without your partners knowledge. Swinging is all about open and honest communication so that both (or more) parties can explore fantasies and sexual desires within the emotional boundaries of their relationship."
Exactly this, communication and openness is the big difference bewteen the two. This can include each party exploring their own paths but with communication and consent of the other is far less hurtful and deceitful than one party cheating and denying it and not taking responsibility for any consequences. |
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