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Socials- why are they slowly dying out
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There used to be so many more social events... have they died off as people don't want them.. or people don't want to organise them.
We used to have epic forum meet ups too...
There are obviously still a few good ones dotted about but nothing like about 10 years ago.
What triggered this was reminiscing about socials attended in the past.... and some events that used to be really well attended that stopped.
Now I know hosting these or any events is hard work... but would people welcome more...
Also I've noticed that often socials clash.. for instance there are nearly always two Coventry socials, both well attended but often fall on the same night. Would have thought it made more sense to have them on different dates.
There has been talk for years of a Derby / Notts social coming about but it never materialises. That used to be a good night.
So why do you think they are dying out??? Or maybe you think they aren't.
Cali
Ps the ones that are still going, please keep up the good work. |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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Good point you raise.
The socials have been a no stress experience for many to make that personal connection.
That said, some of my friends are not interested in the chat aspects, as they are seeking a more intimate experience.
There's something for everyone is my thinking |
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"Good point you raise.
The socials have been a no stress experience for many to make that personal connection.
That said, some of my friends are not interested in the chat aspects, as they are seeking a more intimate experience.
There's something for everyone is my thinking "
a lot of large socials have offered a reduced price entry for a local club after.. so as you say something for everyone. |
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I've been absent from here for a while, only been back a few months. Before I hid my profile I used to go to the big socials. They were a great way to meet fellow fabbers, get verifications and an all round good day/night out x |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 27 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I mentioned hosting one to Ron at the Attic in Derby a while ago, but he didn't seem that fussed. I could be wrong, but I got the impression that business was that good he didn't feel as if he needed it. I might be wrong with that as the rationale, but that's the idea I came away with 
I really enjoyed every social I went to. |
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Many years ago we would regularly host socials/parties. Usually six to ten people with a mix of experience and ages. It took a while to make the house ready, bedrooms prepped, toys available, nibbles etc. What killed it for us was the ever increasing amount of no shows or last minute cancellations. |
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Is it because of the rise of the insta-shag brigade?
People don’t want to put the effort into meeting people, unless they get a shag that night?
I regularly go to Munches, which are focused on friends and fellowship in the fetish lifestyle. Nobody is trying to get laid, just want to be able to relax and mingle with people who share their interests (in kink). Sometimes relationships happen, if you happen to find someone who is interested in the same things. But equally, we can sit around and chat about anything |
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"Is it because of the rise of the insta-shag brigade?
People don’t want to put the effort into meeting people, unless they get a shag that night?
I regularly go to Munches, which are focused on friends and fellowship in the fetish lifestyle. Nobody is trying to get laid, just want to be able to relax and mingle with people who share their interests (in kink). Sometimes relationships happen, if you happen to find someone who is interested in the same things. But equally, we can sit around and chat about anything "
Yep.
I think that sort of culture existed on Fab 10+ years ago - before the advent of the apps. Now everyone treats it like sex on demand.
Good thing that FL / the BDSM scene retained that element. |
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By *asha86Couple 27 weeks ago
walsall |
We did our first social at the LV social a few years ago and have done all but 1 of them to date. We think its a brilliant way of meeting new people and making new friends. Some of our best friends have come from these and always tell people how good they are.
Its a no pressure environment with like minded people and you dont have to worry about anyone listening in to your conversations.
D x |
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We tend to get invites to socials outside of FAB.
Lots of timewasters and dreamers on here so the dropout rate for any type of meet is horrendous.
There is a growing number on FAB who are just happy to chat in the forums and never meet but that's not why we joined.
We find socials a great way to sift the wheat from the chaff.
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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"Really wish there was a Notts/Derby one. Can recommend a great club for after fun  "
Be the change you want to see!
As a newb in the Nottingham area, I would be keen to join in a local social. |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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"There used to be so many more social events... have they died off as people don't want them.. or people don't want to organise them.
We used to have epic forum meet ups too...
There are obviously still a few good ones dotted about but nothing like about 10 years ago.
What triggered this was reminiscing about socials attended in the past.... and some events that used to be really well attended that stopped.
Now I know hosting these or any events is hard work... but would people welcome more...
Also I've noticed that often socials clash.. for instance there are nearly always two Coventry socials, both well attended but often fall on the same night. Would have thought it made more sense to have them on different dates.
There has been talk for years of a Derby / Notts social coming about but it never materialises. That used to be a good night.
So why do you think they are dying out??? Or maybe you think they aren't.
Cali
Ps the ones that are still going, please keep up the good work. "
Are we talking swinger clubs or just community meet ups just for socializing (no play)? |
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"There used to be so many more social events... have they died off as people don't want them.. or people don't want to organise them.
We used to have epic forum meet ups too...
There are obviously still a few good ones dotted about but nothing like about 10 years ago.
What triggered this was reminiscing about socials attended in the past.... and some events that used to be really well attended that stopped.
Now I know hosting these or any events is hard work... but would people welcome more...
Also I've noticed that often socials clash.. for instance there are nearly always two Coventry socials, both well attended but often fall on the same night. Would have thought it made more sense to have them on different dates.
There has been talk for years of a Derby / Notts social coming about but it never materialises. That used to be a good night.
So why do you think they are dying out??? Or maybe you think they aren't.
Cali
Ps the ones that are still going, please keep up the good work. "
Has the Birmingham Bazaar Bazaar stopped. It was or is 4 floors of kink social and kink trading stalls. I've met many people there. |
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I've not organised any socials, but used to run a munch in London for years and a BDSM club.
It takes time and effort to organise, notwithstanding the fact that a lot of places charge room hire or have minimum spend at bar.
So, you need the footfall to make it viable, and quite frankly from what I've seen and heard, a lot of socials and events simply can't afford to run at a loss on a regular basis.
People want a weekend social, but then don't support it. They want weekday ones, but then don't support it!!! And I'm talking about regular long term support.
I agree that Wales to have a good selection of socials, but we only have 1 club, (men only Sunday -thursday) so we rely on the socials to meet others. |
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There are still a few but I agree about the big ones not being a thing anymore. I remember my first Manchester social a few years ago and had the absolute best time which made me realise there was more to Fab than only messaging with the hope of having sex later on.
I think if it was a big thing 10 years ago, the culture bridging the older and newer people hasn't been established and while the older lot have moved on, the newer people haven't stepped up to take their place. Add to that the headache of sorting it all out, putting a good guestlist together, dealing with people dropping out and the cost of covering a venue, I can see why there aren't as many big ones as there may have been. |
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"There used to be so many more social events... have they died off as people don't want them.. or people don't want to organise them.
We used to have epic forum meet ups too...
There are obviously still a few good ones dotted about but nothing like about 10 years ago.
What triggered this was reminiscing about socials attended in the past.... and some events that used to be really well attended that stopped.
Now I know hosting these or any events is hard work... but would people welcome more...
Also I've noticed that often socials clash.. for instance there are nearly always two Coventry socials, both well attended but often fall on the same night. Would have thought it made more sense to have them on different dates.
There has been talk for years of a Derby / Notts social coming about but it never materialises. That used to be a good night.
So why do you think they are dying out??? Or maybe you think they aren't.
Cali
Ps the ones that are still going, please keep up the good work.
Has the Birmingham Bazaar Bazaar stopped. It was or is 4 floors of kink social and kink trading stalls. I've met many people there."
BBB is still going (now the 2nd Saturday of the month, so this weekend) |
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A good social is a great way to make new connections.
Sadly, the last few I have been to have been too big, too noisy - so no real chance to actually talk to anyone.
So now if I see that a ‘social’ has a DJ, I know it isn’t going to be very social and don’t bother. |
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"I mentioned hosting one to Ron at the Attic in Derby a while ago, but he didn't seem that fussed. I could be wrong, but I got the impression that business was that good he didn't feel as if he needed it. I might be wrong with that as the rationale, but that's the idea I came away with
I really enjoyed every social I went to. "
I think a social at somewhere neutral is best but yeah .. dont think a social night is high on the attics to do lists...
Side note.. Attic events are always very social and I often recommend a party night for those looking to make connections
The forum meet up at jaydees was amazing.. many many years ago |
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"There used to be so many more social events... have they died off as people don't want them.. or people don't want to organise them.
We used to have epic forum meet ups too...
There are obviously still a few good ones dotted about but nothing like about 10 years ago.
What triggered this was reminiscing about socials attended in the past.... and some events that used to be really well attended that stopped.
Now I know hosting these or any events is hard work... but would people welcome more...
Also I've noticed that often socials clash.. for instance there are nearly always two Coventry socials, both well attended but often fall on the same night. Would have thought it made more sense to have them on different dates.
There has been talk for years of a Derby / Notts social coming about but it never materialises. That used to be a good night.
So why do you think they are dying out??? Or maybe you think they aren't.
Cali
Ps the ones that are still going, please keep up the good work.
Are we talking swinger clubs or just community meet ups just for socializing (no play)?"
either but mostly the ones not at clubs... we attend the Coventry social and i know the north Hants one is still going strong.
There was the Manchester one that was always great, heard good things about the Macclesfield one too, the Derby one, Leeds one was great too. |
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There are still plenty going on, maybe not to the same scale as before but if you know where to look then you’ll find one to attend.
Rosie helps organise a couple and has done others before.
There isn’t a big forum social anymore but that’s down to issues with organisers.
We talked about organising one in Manchester ourselves, it’s just about whether we are up to the faff |
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"There are still plenty going on, maybe not to the same scale as before but if you know where to look then you’ll find one to attend.
Rosie helps organise a couple and has done others before.
There isn’t a big forum social anymore but that’s down to issues with organisers.
We talked about organising one in Manchester ourselves, it’s just about whether we are up to the faff"
There really aren't anywhere near as many as there once was.... |
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From my perspective the exact opposite is true.
I haven't been to a social in a few years but in the Ireland forum, of the 35 threads showing on page one, 9 of them are related to upcoming social events.
There is a thread showing all the events for 2026 and it's quite a long list.
I've been on fab 10 years and I've never seen so many advertised socials at any stage in the past so I would say the social scene is booming.
Now I agree that it could be totally different over here because we don't have a club scene so socials could be the next best thing for many people. |
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"There are still plenty going on, maybe not to the same scale as before but if you know where to look then you’ll find one to attend.
Rosie helps organise a couple and has done others before.
There isn’t a big forum social anymore but that’s down to issues with organisers.
We talked about organising one in Manchester ourselves, it’s just about whether we are up to the faff"
I would be open to helping out with the faff of this |
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"There are still plenty going on, maybe not to the same scale as before but if you know where to look then you’ll find one to attend.
Rosie helps organise a couple and has done others before.
There isn’t a big forum social anymore but that’s down to issues with organisers.
We talked about organising one in Manchester ourselves, it’s just about whether we are up to the faff
There really aren't anywhere near as many as there once was...."
Also, there are socials based from other platforms as well |
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"From my perspective the exact opposite is true.
I haven't been to a social in a few years but in the Ireland forum, of the 35 threads showing on page one, 9 of them are related to upcoming social events.
There is a thread showing all the events for 2026 and it's quite a long list.
I've been on fab 10 years and I've never seen so many advertised socials at any stage in the past so I would say the social scene is booming.
Now I agree that it could be totally different over here because we don't have a club scene so socials could be the next best thing for many people. "
Make that 13 threads now out of 35 so basically a third of all active threads in the Ireland forum are event related. |
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"Is it because of the rise of the insta-shag brigade?
People don’t want to put the effort into meeting people, unless they get a shag that night?
I regularly go to Munches, which are focused on friends and fellowship in the fetish lifestyle. Nobody is trying to get laid, just want to be able to relax and mingle with people who share their interests (in kink). Sometimes relationships happen, if you happen to find someone who is interested in the same things. But equally, we can sit around and chat about anything "
Never heard of Munches. Tell us more |
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"I mentioned hosting one to Ron at the Attic in Derby a while ago, but he didn't seem that fussed. I could be wrong, but I got the impression that business was that good he didn't feel as if he needed it. I might be wrong with that as the rationale, but that's the idea I came away with
I really enjoyed every social I went to. I think a social at somewhere neutral is best but yeah .. dont think a social night is high on the attics to do lists...
Side note.. Attic events are always very social and I often recommend a party night for those looking to make connections
The forum meet up at jaydees was amazing.. many many years ago "
The Attic is our nearest club. There is a good social scene amongst the regulars already
so finding a location at a different location within Derby would suit those who don’t attend clubs or are new to the lifestyle. We pondered about setting one up as we have a community hall in a rural setting so would people travel. |
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"Due to a lack of clubs in East Anglia, well Suffolk, Norfolk and Essex, our Ipswich Socials is very popular, our February one is full at 240 attendees. "
That’s interesting to know as the Norwich social is small and always the same faces so we have stopped going. |
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I would say there are still plenty going on. Our local one stopped for a couple of years but it’s now back and getting bigger numbers. I also know a few others that happen regularly around the country.
I’ve recently joined another platform and I’ve noticed there are even more socials advertised on there and in locations I’ve not seen hosting socials previously.
Kx |
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By *oelMan 22 weeks ago
Midlands, London, Brussels |
"Really wish there was a Notts/Derby one. Can recommend a great club for after fun "
Nothing stopping anyone arranging one on the forums, setting a location/pub and making it happen |
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"Really wish there was a Notts/Derby one. Can recommend a great club for after fun
Nothing stopping anyone arranging one on the forums, setting a location/pub and making it happen"
if only it was that easy... |
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By *asha86Couple 21 weeks ago
walsall |
We found a local one to us the LV social we attended a of them they had to move to find a better space so it's a touch further out now which isn't bad for us as less chance of being spotted 
Only thing i can think of why there isnt as many now from speaking to the organisers there is a hell of alot of work that goes into to them and keeping them relevant or in the eye of prospective people.
We cannot speak more highly of the LV socials there's one next month actually we're going too if you havent been to one yet check them out  |
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Geographically, I never saw the appeal of traveling miles to meet people from miles away, who I was unlikely to ever meet again? There were some local group socials organised in Cumbria a few years ago, and I did attend one, but the details were leaked, and it went viral with local teenagers heading down with the cameras to find out who 'The swingers' were, and were they someone's parents.....
As a single guy, the club scene is bad enough, being so hit or miss, and generally unwelcoming to single guys.  |
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"Geographically, I never saw the appeal of traveling miles to meet people from miles away, who I was unlikely to ever meet again? There were some local group socials organised in Cumbria a few years ago, and I did attend one, but the details were leaked, and it went viral with local teenagers heading down with the cameras to find out who 'The swingers' were, and were they someone's parents.....
As a single guy, the club scene is bad enough, being so hit or miss, and generally unwelcoming to single guys. "
I completely agree with you on not bothering to attend one miles away when you are unlikely to ever have meets from the people you get introduced to. Flip side is our local one( Norwich ) has the same people going every time so we have stopped bothering to go because we never meet anyone new and the people that have gone are not for us. Unfortunately single men are not always for couples, couples like to swap with other couples and being a single man means you don’t have anything to bring to the table in that regard and the numbers of horny single men v single women and couples is higher therefore not in demand in the slightest. |
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By *asha86Couple 21 weeks ago
walsall |
"Geographically, I never saw the appeal of traveling miles to meet people from miles away, who I was unlikely to ever meet again? There were some local group socials organised in Cumbria a few years ago, and I did attend one, but the details were leaked, and it went viral with local teenagers heading down with the cameras to find out who 'The swingers' were, and were they someone's parents.....
As a single guy, the club scene is bad enough, being so hit or miss, and generally unwelcoming to single guys. "
The socials weve been to have never been unwelcoming to single guys quite the opposite as its a way for the good single guys out there to get on to the scene and meet new people its always been used as a positive thing.
Same as clubs single guys arent unwelcome it's just ing out the ones who are chancers within the scene maybe im wrong and id hold my hands up if I am |
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"Geographically, I never saw the appeal of traveling miles to meet people from miles away, who I was unlikely to ever meet again? There were some local group socials organised in Cumbria a few years ago, and I did attend one, but the details were leaked, and it went viral with local teenagers heading down with the cameras to find out who 'The swingers' were, and were they someone's parents.....
As a single guy, the club scene is bad enough, being so hit or miss, and generally unwelcoming to single guys.
The socials weve been to have never been unwelcoming to single guys quite the opposite as its a way for the good single guys out there to get on to the scene and meet new people its always been used as a positive thing.
Same as clubs single guys aren't unwelcome it's just ing out the ones who are chancers within the scene maybe I'm wrong and I'd hold my hands up if I am"
I had a meet lined up in Chams with a local, regular lady attendee, who was signing me in as a guest, as I don't have a single guy membership there. Mark, the guy on the door, did everything possible to block my admission that night, and also put another single guy through the mangle when I arrived. I even had to show the conversation through Fab to prove she and I had arranged to meet there that night....
I've yet to visit a club and be greeted with "Fantastic! Another single guy!"..... |
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By *ounmacCouple 21 weeks ago
Market Harborough |
"There used to be so many more social events... have they died off as people don't want them.. or people don't want to organise them.
We used to have epic forum meet ups too...
There are obviously still a few good ones dotted about but nothing like about 10 years ago.
What triggered this was reminiscing about socials attended in the past.... and some events that used to be really well attended that stopped.
Now I know hosting these or any events is hard work... but would people welcome more...
Also I've noticed that often socials clash.. for instance there are nearly always two Coventry socials, both well attended but often fall on the same night. Would have thought it made more sense to have them on different dates.
There has been talk for years of a Derby / Notts social coming about but it never materialises. That used to be a good night.
So why do you think they are dying out??? Or maybe you think they aren't.
Cali
Ps the ones that are still going, please keep up the good work. "
We have only gone to one of the cov ones it would be good to merge them one time |
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By *asha86Couple 21 weeks ago
walsall |
"I loved the socials Manchester and Leeds, I haven't been to a large one in a while but do pop to the ladies only ones in Leeds.
I think there may have been some issues over them being posted.
Mrs "
Is the Leeds one the LoVe social? |
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"Geographically, I never saw the appeal of traveling miles to meet people from miles away, who I was unlikely to ever meet again? There were some local group socials organised in Cumbria a few years ago, and I did attend one, but the details were leaked, and it went viral with local teenagers heading down with the cameras to find out who 'The swingers' were, and were they someone's parents.....
As a single guy, the club scene is bad enough, being so hit or miss, and generally unwelcoming to single guys.
The socials weve been to have never been unwelcoming to single guys quite the opposite as its a way for the good single guys out there to get on to the scene and meet new people its always been used as a positive thing.
Same as clubs single guys aren't unwelcome it's just ing out the ones who are chancers within the scene maybe I'm wrong and I'd hold my hands up if I am
I had a meet lined up in Chams with a local, regular lady attendee, who was signing me in as a guest, as I don't have a single guy membership there. Mark, the guy on the door, did everything possible to block my admission that night, and also put another single guy through the mangle when I arrived. I even had to show the conversation through Fab to prove she and I had arranged to meet there that night....
I've yet to visit a club and be greeted with "Fantastic! Another single guy!"..... "
When I was a single guy I was treated like an old friend at Chams, hence I kept going back,i used to regularly attend socials and I never felt unwelcome at one, again I made some lifelong friends from them. |
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"There used to be so many more social events... have they died off as people don't want them.. or people don't want to organise them.
We used to have epic forum meet ups too...
There are obviously still a few good ones dotted about but nothing like about 10 years ago.
What triggered this was reminiscing about socials attended in the past.... and some events that used to be really well attended that stopped.
Now I know hosting these or any events is hard work... but would people welcome more...
Also I've noticed that often socials clash.. for instance there are nearly always two Coventry socials, both well attended but often fall on the same night. Would have thought it made more sense to have them on different dates.
There has been talk for years of a Derby / Notts social coming about but it never materialises. That used to be a good night.
So why do you think they are dying out??? Or maybe you think they aren't.
Cali
Ps the ones that are still going, please keep up the good work.
We have only gone to one of the cov ones it would be good to merge them one time "
Yes it doesn’t make sense having two that are often on the same day. |
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As a cuckold couple, socials are always good for us to meet potential play partners or bulls.
For us, especially the hotwife it’s good to get to know the guys and build up a rapport, whereas a lot of guys (especially from the messages we get on here) it’s all about ‘fuck and go’. |
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"As a cuckold couple, socials are always good for us to meet potential play partners or bulls.
For us, especially the hotwife it’s good to get to know the guys and build up a rapport, whereas a lot of guys (especially from the messages we get on here) it’s all about ‘fuck and go’."
we’re definitely not into fuck and go, we like to get to know our play partners.x |
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I started in this lifestyle by going to a social and I loved it, ❤️
There are no keyboards to hide behind and you get to actually meet heaps of people face to face.
The only thing stopping me from attending more of them is time and money.
I'll be attending the bootylicious social up in Newcastle in April with my partner and I just can't wait, 😁
If anyone else is attending the same event please come on over and say hi. |
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I think some of it is down to cost, for people organising and those attending, especially for far away, it's a real shame as I've been up to Manchester and Northampton but the costs attached for hotel, travel and eating and drinking out can make it restrictive |
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Socials are the best way to meet people without any pressure, so more likely to meet someone you can connect with. Sometimes a good Social can be very enjoyable,and if enough people there a good night out. |
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The socials were the best thing. Id travel up and down the country to go to then. So good to meet people in a similar shared reality.
My sense was the bigger ones took a lot of effort, and too many people were forthcoming with feedback (criticism) and not with their time.
And possibly too many people saying yes then flaking. Especially the free ones.
I miss them. I guess my question to me is what an I going to do about it ...
Ps 😘 to all those who have organised.
🍞 |
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"Geographically, I never saw the appeal of traveling miles to meet people from miles away, who I was unlikely to ever meet again? There were some local group socials organised in Cumbria a few years ago, and I did attend one, but the details were leaked, and it went viral with local teenagers heading down with the cameras to find out who 'The swingers' were, and were they someone's parents.....
As a single guy, the club scene is bad enough, being so hit or miss, and generally unwelcoming to single guys.
The socials weve been to have never been unwelcoming to single guys quite the opposite as its a way for the good single guys out there to get on to the scene and meet new people its always been used as a positive thing.
Same as clubs single guys aren't unwelcome it's just ing out the ones who are chancers within the scene maybe I'm wrong and I'd hold my hands up if I am
I had a meet lined up in Chams with a local, regular lady attendee, who was signing me in as a guest, as I don't have a single guy membership there. Mark, the guy on the door, did everything possible to block my admission that night, and also put another single guy through the mangle when I arrived. I even had to show the conversation through Fab to prove she and I had arranged to meet there that night....
I've yet to visit a club and be greeted with "Fantastic! Another single guy!".....
When I was a single guy I was treated like an old friend at Chams, hence I kept going back,i used to regularly attend socials and I never felt unwelcome at one, again I made some lifelong friends from them. "
I'm back in Birmingham for the weekend in June. Xtasia have got a bmfc event on, so I will see if I can get a guest pass for Chams for the evening with a friendly local. Hopefully Steve will be on the door this time |
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