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Cardiff Social

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I couldn't not post about this....not one to be overly negative but was probably one of the most uncomfotable experiences i've had and SO far from my idea of 'social'

Extrememly clicky and apart from a select few couples and singles (all of whom were lovely) who i approached and began speaking to myself nobody made any effort to come and talk to me.

Disappointing and hardly worth the time and effort as a single female of psyching yourself up to walk in to a room of strangers....I doubt I'll ever go to one again....

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By *3xymamaWoman  over a year ago

RCT

Hi sorry sorry to hear that you didn't have a very good experience. Sometimes it can seem that people are cliquey but many of the people who attend have been friends for years and stand and chat. They don't mean to exclude anyone as the lifestyle is about making friends and being sociable. There is a singles social which isn't as busy in a smaller venue where it is possibly easier to chat to everyone. Message me if you want more information or want to chat further x

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman  over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

Sorry you felt that way. Thing is a lot of people that go to the socials have established friendships and groups that they feel comfortable in, not necessarily cliques as you put it.

If you think it's difficult for a single female imagine what's it like for a single male.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Maybe the disappointment is down to expectation...it depends what these things are supposed to achieve I guess? Allowing old friends to catch up or welcoming new people? I know I wasn't the only one who felt this way, another couple I spoke to said the same.

Trying to be constructive rather than moan...and yes I get the point about being a single male but still in my opinion way more daunting walking in as a single fem...

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman  over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

God yes I totally understand what you're saying walking in on your own takes gumption and take my hat off to the single fems that do it. I meant they stand at the bar or in corners and get totally ignored usually bless them unless people talk to them.

All I can say is don't let it put you off and maybe try another social. Newport is a good one and we usually meet up before hand so and newbies to the social can meet and feel welcomed beforehand

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By *ax-BangingMan  over a year ago

town


"Maybe the disappointment is down to expectation...it depends what these things are supposed to achieve I guess? Allowing old friends to catch up or welcoming new people? I know I wasn't the only one who felt this way, another couple I spoke to said the same.

Trying to be constructive rather than moan...and yes I get the point about being a single male but still in my opinion way more daunting walking in as a single fem..."

Awww if i had gone i would have chatted to you i talk to everybody lol maybe try the singles socials like mamma has said some of the nicest friendliest people I've ever known i have met though this site let mamma and snow take you under their wing they are very well established single fems here who can introduce you to most people

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By *xsexybitchnherslutxxCouple  over a year ago

cardiff

We popped in but not knowing anyone, we had a drink, sat chatting for a while and left . We didn't really talk to many people but I think that was down to us being abit nervous and reserved as hadn't been to a social before. Actually a guy at the bar looked at us and said "ahh first timers, I can tell" lol ....Felt like one of those things you go to a few times and will feel comfortable to chat and mingle. Sx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

fitchick keep going to the socials next time u do go mail a few peeps on line to let them know your going and they can look out for u when u get there we have done this with a few peeps hope this helps xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I think i would have been ignored too if i hadn't gone up to people to chat x

Thanks for your replies though x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When we attended our first social we thought exactly the same. Just sat in the corner thinking how cliquey it was. The second one I went on my own as andy was working and I was lucky enough that I got chatting to HD and he then introduced me to a few people then when we attended the next one it wasn't as daunting. We have met and made some great friends over the 2 years we have been going. One way we find is good meeting new people is the pre drinks before the socials. X

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By *3xymamaWoman  over a year ago

RCT

I attended my first social on my own as a single female and found it very daunting. I stood on my own and didn't really speak to anyone. I've been on the site over 4 years now and go to most of the socials. I've made some many friends, some who I meet socially in "vanilla " life too. Please don't let your experience from last night put you off as we really are a friendly bunch.

As I said get in touch with me and we can chat some more x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry you felt that way. Thing is a lot of people that go to the socials have established friendships and groups that they feel comfortable in, not necessarily cliques as you put it.

If you think it's difficult for a single female imagine what's it like for a single male. "

Why the negativity about the"clique" you just described what one is & it's a social norm X

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By *roggMan  over a year ago

haverfordwest

Usually the first social that you go to can be the worst in some respects and it takes a while to get to know people. You sound a positive friendly person who will gain friends on here and hopefully You will have a better impression of people should you attend more , on the whole they are quite a good bunch in south Wales and I do quite a bit of travelling on here

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We popped in but not knowing anyone, we had a drink, sat chatting for a while and left . We didn't really talk to many people but I think that was down to us being abit nervous and reserved as hadn't been to a social before. Actually a guy at the bar looked at us and said "ahh first timers, I can tell" lol ....Felt like one of those things you go to a few times and will feel comfortable to chat and mingle. Sx "

We were getting there as you were leaving #gutted. Hope to see you both at the next one.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I couldn't not post about this....not one to be overly negative but was probably one of the most uncomfotable experiences i've had and SO far from my idea of 'social'

Extrememly clicky and apart from a select few couples and singles (all of whom were lovely) who i approached and began speaking to myself nobody made any effort to come and talk to me.

Disappointing and hardly worth the time and effort as a single female of psyching yourself up to walk in to a room of strangers....I doubt I'll ever go to one again...."

Would have loved to have chatted. Don't be put off. Hopefully next time we can have chat / drink and maybe even a dance.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Enjoyed social for the most part, Shame no dance floor. One guy being rude & obnoxious to some. Look forward to next one and making even more friends.

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By *he mischiefsCouple  over a year ago

cardiff


"I think i would have been ignored too if i hadn't gone up to people to chat x

Thanks for your replies though x"

Well I'm glad we had the chance to meet you & get chatting, your always welcome to join us for socials or chams so your not alone, don't let last night put you off as it can be the same for singles & couples attending socials, my nerves have got better with time & getting to no people... Hopefully see you soon !! Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Sorry you felt that way. Thing is a lot of people that go to the socials have established friendships and groups that they feel comfortable in, not necessarily cliques as you put it.

If you think it's difficult for a single female imagine what's it like for a single male.

Why the negativity about the"clique" you just described what one is & it's a social norm X"

Of course they can be percieved as being negative if you feel excluded from groups. My original point was, perhaps these events are great for existing established swingers and groups to catch up, not so great for newbies, especially singles. It is all fine if that is what it is meant to be, I just guess my expectation was to feel more welcome generally which I didn't so felt like feeding that back. Maybe an answer to all of this is to have a seperate social for newbies where the aim is to welcome and include everyone new in to existing circles. I was in Cardiff anyway so hadn't travelled but if I had I would have felt like it was a wasted journey x

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By *xsexybitchnherslutxxCouple  over a year ago

cardiff


"We popped in but not knowing anyone, we had a drink, sat chatting for a while and left . We didn't really talk to many people but I think that was down to us being abit nervous and reserved as hadn't been to a social before. Actually a guy at the bar looked at us and said "ahh first timers, I can tell" lol ....Felt like one of those things you go to a few times and will feel comfortable to chat and mingle. Sx

We were getting there as you were leaving #gutted. Hope to see you both at the next one. "

Ahhh did we cross you in the stairs lol !! We stayed about 45 mins I guess, but it was really busy and we felt abit awkward, had a giggle in the toilet queue however x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I can only imagine what it would be like for a new single guy if a single fem gets ignored lol

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman  over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales


"Sorry you felt that way. Thing is a lot of people that go to the socials have established friendships and groups that they feel comfortable in, not necessarily cliques as you put it.

If you think it's difficult for a single female imagine what's it like for a single male.

Why the negativity about the"clique" you just described what one is & it's a social norm X

Of course they can be percieved as being negative if you feel excluded from groups. My original point was, perhaps these events are great for existing established swingers and groups to catch up, not so great for newbies, especially singles. It is all fine if that is what it is meant to be, I just guess my expectation was to feel more welcome generally which I didn't so felt like feeding that back. Maybe an answer to all of this is to have a seperate social for newbies where the aim is to welcome and include everyone new in to existing circles. I was in Cardiff anyway so hadn't travelled but if I had I would have felt like it was a wasted journey x"

The singles social is for just that so that one maybe a good one to try. The more established members are there to welcome newer members x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry you felt that way. Thing is a lot of people that go to the socials have established friendships and groups that they feel comfortable in, not necessarily cliques as you put it.

If you think it's difficult for a single female imagine what's it like for a single male.

Why the negativity about the"clique" you just described what one is & it's a social norm X

Of course they can be percieved as being negative if you feel excluded from groups. My original point was, perhaps these events are great for existing established swingers and groups to catch up, not so great for newbies, especially singles. It is all fine if that is what it is meant to be, I just guess my expectation was to feel more welcome generally which I didn't so felt like feeding that back. Maybe an answer to all of this is to have a seperate social for newbies where the aim is to welcome and include everyone new in to existing circles. I was in Cardiff anyway so hadn't travelled but if I had I would have felt like it was a wasted journey x

The singles social is for just that so that one maybe a good one to try. The more established members are there to welcome newer members x"

me makes all welcome lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/04/16 10:45:36]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Everyone feels this way in a new environment

And we've all been there done it got to T-shirt so to speak

But the more socials you attend the more you get to know everyone

It's taken me close on two yrs so if you want it to work it's like everything you only get outta something what you put in

Just keep going then people will get to know you

Everyone has a first for every? Xx

everything!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Everyone feels this way in a new environment

And we've all been there done it got to T-shirt so to speak

But the more socials you attend the more you get to know everyone

It's taken me close on two yrs so if you want it to work it's like everything you only get outta something what you put in

Just keep going then people will get to know you

Everyone has a first for every? Xx

everything!!!"

yep never met any 1 socialy b4 me 1st social lol you get what u put into it then again im very 4ward few years now and met most hehe pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

So sorry you didn't enjoy it was so busy !! Next time you attend come say hello I d chat your head off xx

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By *elightful 2Couple  over a year ago

No longer in the UK.

To be fair the socials aren't for everyone, we have attended a couple and decided they are not for us but many people seem to enjoy them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Thanks girls ^^^ I do appreciate all the replies and can see that lots enjoyed, I was just saying it wasn't what I expected and I didn't. I'd love to go more often but unfortunately I'm a fair way away (only play in the south live in mid wales) plus quite time constrained juggling work and children. I guess I just thought i'd feed it back so maybe in future if organisers want to make newcomers feel more welcome they could do some things differently?

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By *ewie3Man  over a year ago

Neath

Perhaps you should try a daytime socail much more relax no music to shout over and smaller crowd of people as I do find them much easier to talk to people and get to know new people also

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Perhaps you should try a daytime socail much more relax no music to shout over and smaller crowd of people as I do find them much easier to talk to people and get to know new people also "

I'd happily try everything if I was around more x

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By *roggMan  over a year ago

haverfordwest


"Perhaps you should try a daytime socail much more relax no music to shout over and smaller crowd of people as I do find them much easier to talk to people and get to know new people also

I'd happily try everything if I was around more x"

I missed you there last night I would have been happy to chat to you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry you felt that way. Thing is a lot of people that go to the socials have established friendships and groups that they feel comfortable in, not necessarily cliques as you put it.

If you think it's difficult for a single female imagine what's it like for a single male.

Why the negativity about the"clique" you just described what one is & it's a social norm X

Of course they can be percieved as being negative if you feel excluded from groups. My original point was, perhaps these events are great for existing established swingers and groups to catch up, not so great for newbies, especially singles. It is all fine if that is what it is meant to be, I just guess my expectation was to feel more welcome generally which I didn't so felt like feeding that back. Maybe an answer to all of this is to have a seperate social for newbies where the aim is to welcome and include everyone new in to existing circles. I was in Cardiff anyway so hadn't travelled but if I had I would have felt like it was a wasted journey x"

My comment wasn't aimed at you I'm sorry, it was aimed at the the comment I quoted, so so much effort is put into denying cliques when in fact they are a normal part of social life. If people stopped being do defensive, accepted their existence they could then move toward looking at ways to assist people to integrate more easily. X

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By *elightful 2Couple  over a year ago

No longer in the UK.


"Sorry you felt that way. Thing is a lot of people that go to the socials have established friendships and groups that they feel comfortable in, not necessarily cliques as you put it.

If you think it's difficult for a single female imagine what's it like for a single male.

Why the negativity about the"clique" you just described what one is & it's a social norm X

Of course they can be percieved as being negative if you feel excluded from groups. My original point was, perhaps these events are great for existing established swingers and groups to catch up, not so great for newbies, especially singles. It is all fine if that is what it is meant to be, I just guess my expectation was to feel more welcome generally which I didn't so felt like feeding that back. Maybe an answer to all of this is to have a seperate social for newbies where the aim is to welcome and include everyone new in to existing circles. I was in Cardiff anyway so hadn't travelled but if I had I would have felt like it was a wasted journey x

My comment wasn't aimed at you I'm sorry, it was aimed at the the comment I quoted, so so much effort is put into denying cliques when in fact they are a normal part of social life. If people stopped being do defensive, accepted their existence they could then move toward looking at ways to assist people to integrate more easily. X"

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Sorry you felt that way. Thing is a lot of people that go to the socials have established friendships and groups that they feel comfortable in, not necessarily cliques as you put it.

If you think it's difficult for a single female imagine what's it like for a single male.

Why the negativity about the"clique" you just described what one is & it's a social norm X

Of course they can be percieved as being negative if you feel excluded from groups. My original point was, perhaps these events are great for existing established swingers and groups to catch up, not so great for newbies, especially singles. It is all fine if that is what it is meant to be, I just guess my expectation was to feel more welcome generally which I didn't so felt like feeding that back. Maybe an answer to all of this is to have a seperate social for newbies where the aim is to welcome and include everyone new in to existing circles. I was in Cardiff anyway so hadn't travelled but if I had I would have felt like it was a wasted journey x

My comment wasn't aimed at you I'm sorry, it was aimed at the the comment I quoted, so so much effort is put into denying cliques when in fact they are a normal part of social life. If people stopped being do defensive, accepted their existence they could then move toward looking at ways to assist people to integrate more easily. X"

Definitely! Some of you may be surprised how many private messages I have had off people in support of this post. It seems many many people are affected by this 'social norm'. I've even had messages off people too scared to say what I have about cliques for fear of being attacked in the forum. Obviously I can see that it is perfectly normal for old friends to catch up but I still think maybe there is a better way to also intograte newbie couples and singles into the environment? Just an observation...

We are a large group of people from all walks of life and all backgrounds, we are bound to all find the same experience very different. Getting absolutely steaming d*unk isn't my thing either but I could see last night that it was for many and hats off to them!!

I think it is good for somebody to be able to comfortably say how they feel without being labelled or attacked (it is a forum after all?) I'm actually pretty glad I did comment now because even if the socials don't change I'm now chatting to way more people than I met last night hahaha

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Ahh thanks....next time x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry you felt that way. Thing is a lot of people that go to the socials have established friendships and groups that they feel comfortable in, not necessarily cliques as you put it.

If you think it's difficult for a single female imagine what's it like for a single male.

Why the negativity about the"clique" you just described what one is & it's a social norm X

Of course they can be percieved as being negative if you feel excluded from groups. My original point was, perhaps these events are great for existing established swingers and groups to catch up, not so great for newbies, especially singles. It is all fine if that is what it is meant to be, I just guess my expectation was to feel more welcome generally which I didn't so felt like feeding that back. Maybe an answer to all of this is to have a seperate social for newbies where the aim is to welcome and include everyone new in to existing circles. I was in Cardiff anyway so hadn't travelled but if I had I would have felt like it was a wasted journey x

My comment wasn't aimed at you I'm sorry, it was aimed at the the comment I quoted, so so much effort is put into denying cliques when in fact they are a normal part of social life. If people stopped being do defensive, accepted their existence they could then move toward looking at ways to assist people to integrate more easily. X

Definitely! Some of you may be surprised how many private messages I have had off people in support of this post. It seems many many people are affected by this 'social norm'. I've even had messages off people too scared to say what I have about cliques for fear of being attacked in the forum. Obviously I can see that it is perfectly normal for old friends to catch up but I still think maybe there is a better way to also intograte newbie couples and singles into the environment? Just an observation...

We are a large group of people from all walks of life and all backgrounds, we are bound to all find the same experience very different. Getting absolutely steaming d*unk isn't my thing either but I could see last night that it was for many and hats off to them!!

I think it is good for somebody to be able to comfortably say how they feel without being labelled or attacked (it is a forum after all?) I'm actually pretty glad I did comment now because even if the socials don't change I'm now chatting to way more people than I met last night hahaha "

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman  over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales


"Sorry you felt that way. Thing is a lot of people that go to the socials have established friendships and groups that they feel comfortable in, not necessarily cliques as you put it.

If you think it's difficult for a single female imagine what's it like for a single male.

Why the negativity about the"clique" you just described what one is & it's a social norm X

Of course they can be percieved as being negative if you feel excluded from groups. My original point was, perhaps these events are great for existing established swingers and groups to catch up, not so great for newbies, especially singles. It is all fine if that is what it is meant to be, I just guess my expectation was to feel more welcome generally which I didn't so felt like feeding that back. Maybe an answer to all of this is to have a seperate social for newbies where the aim is to welcome and include everyone new in to existing circles. I was in Cardiff anyway so hadn't travelled but if I had I would have felt like it was a wasted journey x

My comment wasn't aimed at you I'm sorry, it was aimed at the the comment I quoted, so so much effort is put into denying cliques when in fact they are a normal part of social life. If people stopped being do defensive, accepted their existence they could then move toward looking at ways to assist people to integrate more easily. X

Definitely! Some of you may be surprised how many private messages I have had off people in support of this post. It seems many many people are affected by this 'social norm'. I've even had messages off people too scared to say what I have about cliques for fear of being attacked in the forum. Obviously I can see that it is perfectly normal for old friends to catch up but I still think maybe there is a better way to also intograte newbie couples and singles into the environment? Just an observation...

We are a large group of people from all walks of life and all backgrounds, we are bound to all find the same experience very different. Getting absolutely steaming d*unk isn't my thing either but I could see last night that it was for many and hats off to them!!

I think it is good for somebody to be able to comfortably say how they feel without being labelled or attacked (it is a forum after all?) I'm actually pretty glad I did comment now because even if the socials don't change I'm now chatting to way more people than I met last night hahaha "

It had its good points after so that's a great thing.

I've found I've got more friends by chatting in the Welsh and the lounge forum

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Re: Cliques

Beware of the 'Wanna be in my gang?' lot

Hope it doesn't put you off future socials as they can be brill fun.

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By *3xymamaWoman  over a year ago

RCT


"Re: Cliques

Beware of the 'Wanna be in my gang?' lot

Hope it doesn't put you off future socials as they can be brill fun. "

Hey stop quoting Gary Glitter songs mun

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

In my view it's the role of the hosts to know who's new to the social scene & they should make the effort to introduce any newbies to people. Some socials are very good at doing this, some aren't it's all down to who's running it & their priorities. It's a shame you had this experience, as a single female who attends a few socials they are an important part of the scene for me, I find it's the pre social links you make that determine the success, meeting beforehand & having that mental hand to hold. Hope the next one is a better experience for you X

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By *ig bird brightWoman  over a year ago

Swansea


"In my view it's the role of the hosts to know who's new to the social scene & they should make the effort to introduce any newbies to people. Some socials are very good at doing this, some aren't it's all down to who's running it & their priorities. It's a shame you had this experience, as a single female who attends a few socials they are an important part of the scene for me, I find it's the pre social links you make that determine the success, meeting beforehand & having that mental hand to hold. Hope the next one is a better experience for you X"
also for the host to actually meet you at the door and introduce them selves to you as well and thank you for coming to support the event. And are on hand to help and sort things out if there is a problem that arises.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Can I just say that PFC did post on the original social thread and his status more than once I believe inviting people to join for pre social drinks so anyone who was new or nervous could maybe have done that and gotten to know a few people prior to the actual event and had company to walk in with etc. Just a thought for the future as most well established Fabbers meet for pre social drinks and will always happilly welcome others to join them

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By *ig bird brightWoman  over a year ago

Swansea

Not every body can get to the pre social drink meet up, due to may be child care issues, working til early evening and can not get out til say 9pm. So I think the host still should make them selves known to people when they arrive at the venue. Yes it is not all one sided I no you have to put a effort in yourself but to turn up to a venue on your own and do not no a soul is very hard to do. So a nice hello from the host would be a great start .so you feel at least welcome and put a face to a name who organized the social.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

PFC did invite me to the pre social but I am a mum and also run my own business so was pretty tied yesterday aft and made it clear that I couldn't get there until later on. He has since apologised for me feeling like I did last night which was much appreciated.

I think all the points and suggestions above are good ones! The social was a very last minute decision for me so i'd had no time to make any connections pre event.

My points were only ever meant to be constructive comments and shouldn't be taken personally by anyone, I only want the same as the organisers and hosts, for the event to be successful and enjoyed by all xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry you felt that way. Thing is a lot of people that go to the socials have established friendships and groups that they feel comfortable in, not necessarily cliques as you put it.

If you think it's difficult for a single female imagine what's it like for a single male.

Why the negativity about the"clique" you just described what one is & it's a social norm X

Of course they can be percieved as being negative if you feel excluded from groups. My original point was, perhaps these events are great for existing established swingers and groups to catch up, not so great for newbies, especially singles. It is all fine if that is what it is meant to be, I just guess my expectation was to feel more welcome generally which I didn't so felt like feeding that back. Maybe an answer to all of this is to have a seperate social for newbies where the aim is to welcome and include everyone new in to existing circles. I was in Cardiff anyway so hadn't travelled but if I had I would have felt like it was a wasted journey x

My comment wasn't aimed at you I'm sorry, it was aimed at the the comment I quoted, so so much effort is put into denying cliques when in fact they are a normal part of social life. If people stopped being do defensive, accepted their existence they could then move toward looking at ways to assist people to integrate more easily. X

Definitely! Some of you may be surprised how many private messages I have had off people in support of this post. It seems many many people are affected by this 'social norm'. I've even had messages off people too scared to say what I have about cliques for fear of being attacked in the forum. Obviously I can see that it is perfectly normal for old friends to catch up but I still think maybe there is a better way to also intograte newbie couples and singles into the environment? Just an observation...

We are a large group of people from all walks of life and all backgrounds, we are bound to all find the same experience very different. Getting absolutely steaming d*unk isn't my thing either but I could see last night that it was for many and hats off to them!!

I think it is good for somebody to be able to comfortably say how they feel without being labelled or attacked (it is a forum after all?) I'm actually pretty glad I did comment now because even if the socials don't change I'm now chatting to way more people than I met last night hahaha "

I totally get this aswell after my Forum bit last week.

If there's another & we are Both free I'd join you xx

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman  over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales


"PFC did invite me to the pre social but I am a mum and also run my own business so was pretty tied yesterday aft and made it clear that I couldn't get there until later on. He has since apologised for me feeling like I did last night which was much appreciated.

I think all the points and suggestions above are good ones! The social was a very last minute decision for me so i'd had no time to make any connections pre event.

My points were only ever meant to be constructive comments and shouldn't be taken personally by anyone, I only want the same as the organisers and hosts, for the event to be successful and enjoyed by all xx"

Really hope you give the socials another try tho as they are great fun. I've been lucky to make some bloody awesome friends through them. You've done the biggest hurdle you went to your first one alone that takes balls. So next time won't be so scary. Plenty of us will make you welcome if you want to join us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"PFC did invite me to the pre social but I am a mum and also run my own business so was pretty tied yesterday aft and made it clear that I couldn't get there until later on. He has since apologised for me feeling like I did last night which was much appreciated.

I think all the points and suggestions above are good ones! The social was a very last minute decision for me so i'd had no time to make any connections pre event.

My points were only ever meant to be constructive comments and shouldn't be taken personally by anyone, I only want the same as the organisers and hosts, for the event to be successful and enjoyed by all xx

Really hope you give the socials another try tho as they are great fun. I've been lucky to make some bloody awesome friends through them. You've done the biggest hurdle you went to your first one alone that takes balls. So next time won't be so scary. Plenty of us will make you welcome if you want to join us. "

I'm sure I will, thanks for being supportive xx

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman  over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales


"PFC did invite me to the pre social but I am a mum and also run my own business so was pretty tied yesterday aft and made it clear that I couldn't get there until later on. He has since apologised for me feeling like I did last night which was much appreciated.

I think all the points and suggestions above are good ones! The social was a very last minute decision for me so i'd had no time to make any connections pre event.

My points were only ever meant to be constructive comments and shouldn't be taken personally by anyone, I only want the same as the organisers and hosts, for the event to be successful and enjoyed by all xx

Really hope you give the socials another try tho as they are great fun. I've been lucky to make some bloody awesome friends through them. You've done the biggest hurdle you went to your first one alone that takes balls. So next time won't be so scary. Plenty of us will make you welcome if you want to join us.

I'm sure I will, thanks for being supportive xx"

Not a problem we were all new to this at point or another. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Looking for fun in Cardiff today

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Looking for fun in Cardiff today "

Be better off putting up a meet.

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By *nique_GymMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

Well this will be my first Newport social tonight, regular people having read this string will be overcompensating now! so I am hoping that there won't be a stampede when I arrive to welcome me! Just form an orderly queue ladies and I will chat to you as I make my way up the queue!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Fitchick shame about that but it was the first Cardiff Social maybe it will get better each time you go. I know from experience that the Cardiff Socials used to be brilliant and all the other socials are usually good. Just why dont you get the organiser to put you in touch with one or two of the other single fems and you can all hook up before and go together good luck hun. Dont let a first time social turn you off xxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I knew hardly any one and made loads of Freinds just got to say hi and smile and go from there

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I knew hardly any one and made loads of Freinds just got to say hi and smile and go from there "

You knew me lol x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When is the next social??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"When is the next social??"

Watch this space

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By *OWN AND COUNTY SOCIALSMan  over a year ago

CARMARTHEN

Good morning I have just had a view of your profile and obviously your fabulous pictures and in conclusion I would say that they were frightened of the competition.

Casanova

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Good morning I have just had a view of your profile and obviously your fabulous pictures and in conclusion I would say that they were frightened of the competition.

Casanova "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Good morning I have just had a view of your profile and obviously your fabulous pictures and in conclusion I would say that they were frightened of the competition.

Casanova "

Wrong thread I think butt

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By *hiny-SinnersCouple  over a year ago

Vale of Glamorgan

It is difficult for sure.......we have been to three socials now and still feel a bit awkward. We went to a lovely private party in Cardiff but even then it is difficult when you are in the company of couples who are already friends. Also because we love to dress, especially Mrs S (Mr S comes from the fetish scene but can't wear full rubber at a swing do LOL), so maybe some are a bit wary of us? But there are great people who understand how socially intimidating it can be and make a real effort to introduce you into the wider group/clique. It's like anything in life, some people are more empathetic than others, indeed we have experienced some bitchiness due to the dressing, but we love socialising and will continue to attend socials and get to know all the lovely people in the scene. C & R x

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By *3xymamaWoman  over a year ago

RCT


"It is difficult for sure.......we have been to three socials now and still feel a bit awkward. We went to a lovely private party in Cardiff but even then it is difficult when you are in the company of couples who are already friends. Also because we love to dress, especially Mrs S (Mr S comes from the fetish scene but can't wear full rubber at a swing do LOL), so maybe some are a bit wary of us? But there are great people who understand how socially intimidating it can be and make a real effort to introduce you into the wider group/clique. It's like anything in life, some people are more empathetic than others, indeed we have experienced some bitchiness due to the dressing, but we love socialising and will continue to attend socials and get to know all the lovely people in the scene. C & R x"

I have to say you looked gorgeous at the Newport social

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By *hiny-SinnersCouple  over a year ago

Vale of Glamorgan


"It is difficult for sure.......we have been to three socials now and still feel a bit awkward. We went to a lovely private party in Cardiff but even then it is difficult when you are in the company of couples who are already friends. Also because we love to dress, especially Mrs S (Mr S comes from the fetish scene but can't wear full rubber at a swing do LOL), so maybe some are a bit wary of us? But there are great people who understand how socially intimidating it can be and make a real effort to introduce you into the wider group/clique. It's like anything in life, some people are more empathetic than others, indeed we have experienced some bitchiness due to the dressing, but we love socialising and will continue to attend socials and get to know all the lovely people in the scene. C & R x

I have to say you looked gorgeous at the Newport social "

Thank you that is lovely of you to say x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Maybe the disappointment is down to expectation...it depends what these things are supposed to achieve I guess? Allowing old friends to catch up or welcoming new people? I know I wasn't the only one who felt this way, another couple I spoke to said the same.

Trying to be constructive rather than moan...and yes I get the point about being a single male but still in my opinion way more daunting walking in as a single fem..."

I ll happily have walked in with you sexy

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Guys, this was ages ago! Yeah things should have been done a bit differently at the Cardiff one in April but all is good now! I actually made friends with people as a result of this post & recently went to the Newport social and had a great time

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Hi sorry sorry to hear that you didn't have a very good experience. Sometimes it can seem that people are cliquey but many of the people who attend have been friends for years and stand and chat. They don't mean to exclude anyone as the lifestyle is about making friends and being sociable. There is a singles social which isn't as busy in a smaller venue where it is possibly easier to chat to everyone. Message me if you want more information or want to chat further x"

Well put Ma

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