FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Kink shaming
Kink shaming
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"There is a lot of kink shaming going on in the disguise of humour.
"
I’m not bothered about the humour (sometimes it makes me chuckle).
But I am bothered by those that pretend to not ever kink shame, but then do when it’s not something they enjoy.
Open minded when it suits them. |
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"There is a lot of kink shaming going on in the disguise of humour.
Completely agree with this well whose kink shamed you
It's not to me but I see it on most feeds "
Are you talking about the ltr of spunk? |
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"In theory I really agree but the litre of cum was a bit much
That was sick. The germs that would have been multiplying in it could have started a new ecosystem. "
No worse than licking someone’s arsehole, but that’s commended here! |
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"I hate kink shaming unless it’s those perverts that put pineapple on pizza. They deserve to be shamed."
Oh god, i knew there was something wrong with me. I'll go stand in the corner and hang my head in shame. |
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By *avie65Man 5 weeks ago
In the west. |
"In theory I really agree but the litre of cum was a bit much
That was sick. The germs that would have been multiplying in it could have started a new ecosystem.
No worse than licking someone’s arsehole, but that’s commended here! "
Gawd no. With my luck whoever it was would probably have been on the e curry and Guinness the night before. 😬 |
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"In theory I really agree but the litre of cum was a bit much
That was sick. The germs that would have been multiplying in it could have started a new ecosystem.
No worse than licking someone’s arsehole, but that’s commended here! "
Not at all, a litre of stagnating spunk and wanting people to drink it is beyond kink  |
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If someone asks what they think of something and someone answers truthfully then it’s not kink shaming even though people seem to think it is. If someone specifically posts about something they enjoy and people feel the need to give a negative opinion about it then yeah that can be classed as kink shaming.
Having said that why people give a fuck what a bunch of strangers on the internet think about what they do I’ll never understand. |
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"This needs to stop on this site
Everyone has different kinks ,.let people embrace what they like once they aren't hurting themselves or anyone"
When it involves organs that shouldn't be flopping out and about then it's not kink shaming it's a health concern |
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"See even on a thread about not kink shaming you people are kink shaming people that enjoy rimming.
Exactly my point
Where??It's another of those imaginary things people see that arnt there"
Must be!
Lovely pic btw ❤️ |
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"See even on a thread about not kink shaming you people are kink shaming people that enjoy rimming.
Exactly my point
Where??It's another of those imaginary things people see that arnt there
Must be!
Lovely pic btw ❤️"
thanks nora |
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"I hate kink shaming unless it’s those perverts that put pineapple on pizza. They deserve to be shamed.
Oh god, i knew there was something wrong with me. I'll go stand in the corner and hang my head in shame."
I'll join you as I love pineapple on pizza! |
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"I enjoy eating ass and pineapple on pizza.
I will await the police.
How about pineapple off my ass 😂
It has to be on a pizza. This is a boundary 😂
I respect those boundaries 🫡"
Thank you. If the pizza isnt there then its cheating. |
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"Some kinks deserve to be shamed.
Some kinksters deserve to be shamed for how they move to people.
Espically when they barge into your inbox kink first. "
Curious, what kinks do you think deserve to be shamed? |
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By *.B.D.DMan 5 weeks ago
Northants |
"See even on a thread about not kink shaming you people are kink shaming people that enjoy rimming.
Exactly my point
Where??It's another of those imaginary things people see that arnt there"
Scroll through it's literally a few messages above 🤣
I think what people need to remember, is that this is a forum, full of people you will probably never meet, so who gives a shit what people think about your kink!
Why do you need validation?
As long as it is LEGAL that enjoy your kink. You'll probably find someone who likes it.
As for the litre of spunk malarkey, maybe start smaller then build up to that of you can find the right woman 💦💦💦💦💦💦💦 |
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"Some kinks deserve to be shamed.
Some kinksters deserve to be shamed for how they move to people.
Espically when they barge into your inbox kink first.
Curious, what kinks do you think deserve to be shamed? "
For me, I just don't understand the whole kicking and punching kink, with the person being a human punch bag, with consent. I'm not saying it needs to be shamed as everyone to their own, but it probably needs to be kept as a very niche activity. And, if it's happening in a club, at a BDSM event, it needs to be very closely supervised and maybe kept in the area that other people could just wander into, without expecting to be faced by that scene. |
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And this doesn't apply just to kinks, generally I noticed there a certain bunch of same ppl.who act like hypocrites - if they do/ say it's alright, if others do/say similar, it's ridiculed in one way or another. |
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"This needs to stop on this site
Everyone has different kinks ,.let people embrace what they like once they aren't hurting themselves or anyone"
Perhaps you're confusing shaming with people having an opinion.
For example I think people spitting into each others mouths is disgusting.
That's my opinion it's not shaming anyone. |
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"This needs to stop on this site
Everyone has different kinks ,.let people embrace what they like once they aren't hurting themselves or anyone
Perhaps you're confusing shaming with people having an opinion.
For example I think people spitting into each others mouths is disgusting.
That's my opinion it's not shaming anyone."
Well put Jools. I've never understood how anyone could feel 'shamed' by the opinion of an online random. 🤷 |
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"This needs to stop on this site
Everyone has different kinks ,.let people embrace what they like once they aren't hurting themselves or anyone
Perhaps you're confusing shaming with people having an opinion.
For example I think people spitting into each others mouths is disgusting.
That's my opinion it's not shaming anyone.
Well put Jools. I've never understood how anyone could feel 'shamed' by the opinion of an online random. 🤷"
Me neither. I really can’t. I think it just gives people something else to moan about. |
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Worse than someone kink shaming are those that shout kink shaming every time someone expresses an opinion on a sexual act.
It would be better to work from an actual idea of what kink shaming actually is and in all the years i've been here I have NEVER read anyone that has told someone else that they shouldn't be performing a certain act. I have seen people saying certain acts disgust them or they don't do or ag
ree with a certain act and that is NOT kink shaming.
If say ewwwwwwwwwwww to jellied eels , that is NOT food shaming. |
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"Not just kink shaming on here. Quite a few gym bods enjoy fat shaming
The last thread we had on that subject it was the other way round snap
Great minds an all that!"
Must have missed that thread. Shouldn't be a thing either way |
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The world is full of this and that shaming
Kink-shaming, fat-shaming, slut-shaming, age-shaming, height-shaming. I've even heard of fucking beard-shaming. 😂
Grow some self-confidence and get over other people's opinions of you - it isn't shaming if someone states an opinion.
However - from bestiality to impregnation fetishes - some kinks have the potential to cause harm, and the people who partake in those deserve to be shamed. |
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By *igad999Man 5 weeks ago
wolverhampton |
Never kink shame
Everyone is different everyone has their thing and if it works for them and no one gets killed it’s all good
Spoke to so many people over time with different tastes and kinks. Not all of them are for me but that’s fine but good to hear them and why they like it |
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"Never kink shame
Everyone is different everyone has their thing and if it works for them and no one gets killed it’s all good
Spoke to so many people over time with different tastes and kinks. Not all of them are for me but that’s fine but good to hear them and why they like it "
So as long as no one gets killed? How about illegal kinks?
Ok with them? |
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"Worse than someone kink shaming are those that shout kink shaming every time someone expresses an opinion on a sexual act.
It would be better to work from an actual idea of what kink shaming actually is and in all the years i've been here I have NEVER read anyone that has told someone else that they shouldn't be performing a certain act. I have seen people saying certain acts disgust them or they don't do or ag
ree with a certain act and that is NOT kink shaming.
If say ewwwwwwwwwwww to jellied eels , that is NOT food shaming. "
Exactly.
It's like if someone starts a thread on a certain band people are quick to chime in that they don't like the band and how shit they are.
Honestly people are way too sensitive. |
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By *vaRoseWoman 5 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
People seem to confuse kink shaming with simply not liking a kink… they are not the same thing.
I have not seen anyone here bullied for their kinks… unless you count the litre of cum thread, which looked more like someone taking the piss than anything serious.
What I have seen is people reacting… saying “that is disgusting” or “eww” about certain acts. That is not shaming. That is having an opinion about the act not the person. If you put something out there, you have to accept people might find it revolting… and that does not mean they are attacking you.
Not every kink is harmless just because it is consensual. Some reinforce real-world harm Race play being a perfect example. It is not just fantasy… it leans on violent, racist stereotypes that still damage lives today. It is degradation over race, master and släve dynamics, a reinforcement of racist stereotypes that already cause real-world harm. FYI race play is not remotely the same as someone having a sexual preference for BBC, which is a whole different conversation
If someone points that out, it is not kink shaming… it is recognising that some things can be too harmful to pretend they are just another kink to smile and wave at.
You can enjoy what you like in private… but if you bring it to a public space, expect public reactions. Respect is a two-way street.
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"People seem to confuse kink shaming with simply not liking a kink… they are not the same thing.
I have not seen anyone here bullied for their kinks… unless you count the litre of cum thread, which looked more like someone taking the piss than anything serious.
What I have seen is people reacting… saying “that is disgusting” or “eww” about certain acts. That is not shaming. That is having an opinion about the act not the person. If you put something out there, you have to accept people might find it revolting… and that does not mean they are attacking you.
Not every kink is harmless just because it is consensual. Some reinforce real-world harm Race play being a perfect example. It is not just fantasy… it leans on violent, racist stereotypes that still damage lives today. It is degradation over race, master and släve dynamics, a reinforcement of racist stereotypes that already cause real-world harm. FYI race play is not remotely the same as someone having a sexual preference for BBC, which is a whole different conversation
If someone points that out, it is not kink shaming… it is recognising that some things can be too harmful to pretend they are just another kink to smile and wave at.
You can enjoy what you like in private… but if you bring it to a public space, expect public reactions. Respect is a two-way street.
"
Absolutely.
But what I find difficult to swallow (no pun intended) is the fact we have to explain this and go to great lengths to prove it's just an opinion due to people's fragile ego's getting upset because people disagree.
You make a very valid point,once you post something and put it out there people are free to have an opinion and yes even disagree.
What the OP is suggesting is censorship of free speech which is way worse than Kink shaming which let's face it on a global scale is hardly up there with genocide, terrorism and heinous crimes against humanity.
The mods on this site I feel generally do a good job keeping hate in check and I'm certain that when someone oversteps they will when possible ensure that it's dealt with.
But hey much like anything if you feel that you have been singled out or bullied etc...
Report it |
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"People seem to confuse kink shaming with simply not liking a kink… they are not the same thing.
I have not seen anyone here bullied for their kinks… unless you count the litre of cum thread, which looked more like someone taking the piss than anything serious.
What I have seen is people reacting… saying “that is disgusting” or “eww” about certain acts. That is not shaming. That is having an opinion about the act not the person. If you put something out there, you have to accept people might find it revolting… and that does not mean they are attacking you.
Not every kink is harmless just because it is consensual. Some reinforce real-world harm Race play being a perfect example. It is not just fantasy… it leans on violent, racist stereotypes that still damage lives today. It is degradation over race, master and släve dynamics, a reinforcement of racist stereotypes that already cause real-world harm. FYI race play is not remotely the same as someone having a sexual preference for BBC, which is a whole different conversation
If someone points that out, it is not kink shaming… it is recognising that some things can be too harmful to pretend they are just another kink to smile and wave at.
You can enjoy what you like in private… but if you bring it to a public space, expect public reactions. Respect is a two-way street.
Absolutely.
But what I find difficult to swallow (no pun intended) is the fact we have to explain this and go to great lengths to prove it's just an opinion due to people's fragile ego's getting upset because people disagree.
You make a very valid point,once you post something and put it out there people are free to have an opinion and yes even disagree.
What the OP is suggesting is censorship of free speech which is way worse than Kink shaming which let's face it on a global scale is hardly up there with genocide, terrorism and heinous crimes against humanity.
The mods on this site I feel generally do a good job keeping hate in check and I'm certain that when someone oversteps they will when possible ensure that it's dealt with.
But hey much like anything if you feel that you have been singled out or bullied etc...
Report it "
Great answers to the issue!!
I’ve recently had a long conversation concerning this new attitude concerning people feeling offended.
It is perfectly normal to feel offended by the behaviour, words or opinions of others. However, you have no right to expect or demand that others change their behaviour, speech or opinions because you feel offended in any way.
What isn’t okay is character assassination or personal attack.
There are always social/cultural outliers. If you are aware that something is very niche yet you display that on a public stage, expect a majority response that is likely negatively reactive.
If still you feel hurt by the opinions of others, you need to work in resilience.
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By *vaRoseWoman 5 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"People seem to confuse kink shaming with simply not liking a kink… they are not the same thing.
I have not seen anyone here bullied for their kinks… unless you count the litre of cum thread, which looked more like someone taking the piss than anything serious.
What I have seen is people reacting… saying “that is disgusting” or “eww” about certain acts. That is not shaming. That is having an opinion about the act not the person. If you put something out there, you have to accept people might find it revolting… and that does not mean they are attacking you.
Not every kink is harmless just because it is consensual. Some reinforce real-world harm Race play being a perfect example. It is not just fantasy… it leans on violent, racist stereotypes that still damage lives today. It is degradation over race, master and släve dynamics, a reinforcement of racist stereotypes that already cause real-world harm. FYI race play is not remotely the same as someone having a sexual preference for BBC, which is a whole different conversation
If someone points that out, it is not kink shaming… it is recognising that some things can be too harmful to pretend they are just another kink to smile and wave at.
You can enjoy what you like in private… but if you bring it to a public space, expect public reactions. Respect is a two-way street.
Absolutely.
But what I find difficult to swallow (no pun intended) is the fact we have to explain this and go to great lengths to prove it's just an opinion due to people's fragile ego's getting upset because people disagree.
You make a very valid point,once you post something and put it out there people are free to have an opinion and yes even disagree.
What the OP is suggesting is censorship of free speech which is way worse than Kink shaming which let's face it on a global scale is hardly up there with genocide, terrorism and heinous crimes against humanity.
The mods on this site I feel generally do a good job keeping hate in check and I'm certain that when someone oversteps they will when possible ensure that it's dealt with.
But hey much like anything if you feel that you have been singled out or bullied etc...
Report it "
Exactly. Report anything that could be seen as bullying. It’s really not hard to make sure we are phrasing things in a respectful way.
Instead of saying “Ewww, you’re disgusting for liking feet,” just say “Ewww, I think feet are disgusting.”
One’s a personal attack, the other isn’t. We can all take responsibility for not being a twat and bullying the poster. |
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"People seem to confuse kink shaming with simply not liking a kink… they are not the same thing.
I have not seen anyone here bullied for their kinks… unless you count the litre of cum thread, which looked more like someone taking the piss than anything serious.
What I have seen is people reacting… saying “that is disgusting” or “eww” about certain acts. That is not shaming. That is having an opinion about the act not the person. If you put something out there, you have to accept people might find it revolting… and that does not mean they are attacking you.
Not every kink is harmless just because it is consensual. Some reinforce real-world harm Race play being a perfect example. It is not just fantasy… it leans on violent, racist stereotypes that still damage lives today. It is degradation over race, master and släve dynamics, a reinforcement of racist stereotypes that already cause real-world harm. FYI race play is not remotely the same as someone having a sexual preference for BBC, which is a whole different conversation
If someone points that out, it is not kink shaming… it is recognising that some things can be too harmful to pretend they are just another kink to smile and wave at.
You can enjoy what you like in private… but if you bring it to a public space, expect public reactions. Respect is a two-way street.
Absolutely.
But what I find difficult to swallow (no pun intended) is the fact we have to explain this and go to great lengths to prove it's just an opinion due to people's fragile ego's getting upset because people disagree.
You make a very valid point,once you post something and put it out there people are free to have an opinion and yes even disagree.
What the OP is suggesting is censorship of free speech which is way worse than Kink shaming which let's face it on a global scale is hardly up there with genocide, terrorism and heinous crimes against humanity.
The mods on this site I feel generally do a good job keeping hate in check and I'm certain that when someone oversteps they will when possible ensure that it's dealt with.
But hey much like anything if you feel that you have been singled out or bullied etc...
Report it
Exactly. Report anything that could be seen as bullying. It’s really not hard to make sure we are phrasing things in a respectful way.
Instead of saying “Ewww, you’re disgusting for liking feet,” just say “Ewww, I think feet are disgusting.”
One’s a personal attack, the other isn’t. We can all take responsibility for not being a twat and bullying the poster."
Summed it up right there. If someone says what do you think of calling someone daddy, I’d say creepy as fuck. You asked?!? If someone did a thread specifically for people who are into that I wouldn’t go on it and say ewww you’re all creepy as fuck. I’d just avoid it |
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"I dont know what ever happened to no thank you not my thing "
This is literally all that needs to be said in the first instance. If they ask "why?" then give your opinion.
There is a bit of kink-shaming on fab - mostly in the forum but, as someone else mentioned, it's not just kinks they complain about - it's anything/everything that they don't enjoy or understand.
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I think I’ve gone past the stage of giving too many fucks about people expressing how offended they are.
I won’t intentionally go out of my way to offend ( unless you’re a complete tosser) but I don’t get all guilty and apologetic if someone says they are offended. 🤷🏻♂️ |
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By *agic.MMan 5 weeks ago
Orpington |
Kink shaming is not allowed on fab, if you experience it or see it...report it.
Now if someone on the forum asks if we like a specific king, and I put a 🤮 emoji as a reply, that's not me kink shaming that is me saying I find it disgusting. Certain kinks are just weird to me and others are pushing the boundaries of consent...like the consensual non-consent (my logical brain just finds that confusing), the barely legal/schoolgirl kink (makes me ), or the extreme versions of BDSM where some people actually get hurt and end up in hospital.
So if someone asks on the forum what we think about watersports, I probably comment with something silly like "you taking the piss"...because I find the kink weird - and if you think that's kink shaming, by all means report it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
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"I think I’ve gone past the stage of giving too many fucks about people expressing how offended they are.
I won’t intentionally go out of my way to offend ( unless you’re a complete tosser) but I don’t get all guilty and apologetic if someone says they are offended. 🤷🏻♂️"
So you shame people for their kinks if you don’t agree with it, then don’t give AF about offending them for their sexually choices? |
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"I think I’ve gone past the stage of giving too many fucks about people expressing how offended they are.
I won’t intentionally go out of my way to offend ( unless you’re a complete tosser) but I don’t get all guilty and apologetic if someone says they are offended. 🤷🏻♂️
So you shame people for their kinks if you don’t agree with it, then don’t give AF about offending them for their sexually choices?"
Classic case of reading things that aren’t written, just so you can get arsey about it, LMFAO 🤣😂 |
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"I think I’ve gone past the stage of giving too many fucks about people expressing how offended they are.
I won’t intentionally go out of my way to offend ( unless you’re a complete tosser) but I don’t get all guilty and apologetic if someone says they are offended. 🤷🏻♂️
So you shame people for their kinks if you don’t agree with it, then don’t give AF about offending them for their sexually choices?
Classic case of reading things that aren’t written, just so you can get arsey about it, LMFAO 🤣😂"
This is what I mean! I’m sure people just come on here to look for comments they can twist!! Happens all the time |
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"I think I’ve gone past the stage of giving too many fucks about people expressing how offended they are.
I won’t intentionally go out of my way to offend ( unless you’re a complete tosser) but I don’t get all guilty and apologetic if someone says they are offended. 🤷🏻♂️
So you shame people for their kinks if you don’t agree with it, then don’t give AF about offending them for their sexually choices?
Classic case of reading things that aren’t written, just so you can get arsey about it, LMFAO 🤣😂
This is what I mean! I’m sure people just come on here to look for comments they can twist!! Happens all the time "
Some people just love to be offended, they can fuck off |
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"I think I’ve gone past the stage of giving too many fucks about people expressing how offended they are.
I won’t intentionally go out of my way to offend ( unless you’re a complete tosser) but I don’t get all guilty and apologetic if someone says they are offended. 🤷🏻♂️
So you shame people for their kinks if you don’t agree with it, then don’t give AF about offending them for their sexually choices?
Classic case of reading things that aren’t written, just so you can get arsey about it, LMFAO 🤣😂
This is what I mean! I’m sure people just come on here to look for comments they can twist!! Happens all the time "
Don’t you think it’s a general thing though Nora, not just in here but in general, people wanting to find something, anything , they can get upset about. |
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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
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"I think I’ve gone past the stage of giving too many fucks about people expressing how offended they are.
I won’t intentionally go out of my way to offend ( unless you’re a complete tosser) but I don’t get all guilty and apologetic if someone says they are offended. 🤷🏻♂️
So you shame people for their kinks if you don’t agree with it, then don’t give AF about offending them for their sexually choices?
Classic case of reading things that aren’t written, just so you can get arsey about it, LMFAO 🤣😂"
Who’s getting arsey?
I was asking you to explain what you said? As it’s a thread about not shaming people, but from I read, you come in here to say you don’t care about shaming people?
Or did I read that wrong. Just asking a simple question. Believe me, I’m at an age where being offended didn’t exist |
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I think unhappy people need someone or something to attach their negative emotion to.
Lots of unhappy people about, on and off of fab.
Lots of negativity. Lots of hypocrisy. Such a waste of energy.
I don't agree with everything everyone says or believes. I don't have the expectation of people liking what I like. I don't give people shit for their preferences. There's room for all. What's not for you will float past you really fkg easily if you let it. No need to stop traffic & soapbox and get 'offended' at difference.
No need to be petulant if not everyone likes your thing and chooses to express that with a humorous slant. Report ACTUAL issues. Have you? Have posts been taken down? There's your answer.
COULD they be more delicate with word choice? Maybe. Do they HAVE to nurse fragile egos who choose to hang their undercrackers out on the public line of scrutiny? No.
I do think there's an element of calculation with certain posts and threads. Shocking, I know.
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I've said on here quite a few times that age play isn't for me at all.
It makes me feel really uncomfortable mostly because my daughters are all in their late 20s and early 30s.
I've been challenged almost every time I've said it by people claiming I'm kink shaming those that enjoy it or by others saying I must have serious issues because they would never think of their children when having sex.
I've never once given an opinion on anything that others enjoy and only ever said what doesn't appeal to me but yet I'm not allowed to say what I don't like without someone taking offence.
I know from experience that if I was to post exactly the same comments from our couples profile there would be zero reaction.
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"I think I’ve gone past the stage of giving too many fucks about people expressing how offended they are.
I won’t intentionally go out of my way to offend ( unless you’re a complete tosser) but I don’t get all guilty and apologetic if someone says they are offended. 🤷🏻♂️
So you shame people for their kinks if you don’t agree with it, then don’t give AF about offending them for their sexually choices?
Classic case of reading things that aren’t written, just so you can get arsey about it, LMFAO 🤣😂
This is what I mean! I’m sure people just come on here to look for comments they can twist!! Happens all the time
Don’t you think it’s a general thing though Nora, not just in here but in general, people wanting to find something, anything , they can get upset about. "
Oh yes. Like people who take a pic of a badly parked car and stick it on the local Facebook! Who the fuck even thinks look at that car I’ll take a pic and post it on FB and moan 🤣. People got too much time on their hands |
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"I think I’ve gone past the stage of giving too many fucks about people expressing how offended they are.
I won’t intentionally go out of my way to offend ( unless you’re a complete tosser) but I don’t get all guilty and apologetic if someone says they are offended. 🤷🏻♂️
So you shame people for their kinks if you don’t agree with it, then don’t give AF about offending them for their sexually choices?
Classic case of reading things that aren’t written, just so you can get arsey about it, LMFAO 🤣😂
Who’s getting arsey?
I was asking you to explain what you said? As it’s a thread about not shaming people, but from I read, you come in here to say you don’t care about shaming people?
Or did I read that wrong. Just asking a simple question. Believe me, I’m at an age where being offended didn’t exist "
Your initial response and subsequent response would suggest you didn’t actually read it at all. 🤷🏻♂️ |
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By *AYENCouple 5 weeks ago
Lincolnshire |
I don't actually understand how anyone can shame someone else.
If I would feel ashamed of something, I wouldn't do it, and no one would ever make me feel ashamed of anything I've done other than me - so good luck with that! K |
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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
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"I think I’ve gone past the stage of giving too many fucks about people expressing how offended they are.
I won’t intentionally go out of my way to offend ( unless you’re a complete tosser) but I don’t get all guilty and apologetic if someone says they are offended. 🤷🏻♂️
So you shame people for their kinks if you don’t agree with it, then don’t give AF about offending them for their sexually choices?
Classic case of reading things that aren’t written, just so you can get arsey about it, LMFAO 🤣😂
Who’s getting arsey?
I was asking you to explain what you said? As it’s a thread about not shaming people, but from I read, you come in here to say you don’t care about shaming people?
Or did I read that wrong. Just asking a simple question. Believe me, I’m at an age where being offended didn’t exist
Your initial response and subsequent response would suggest you didn’t actually read it at all. 🤷🏻♂️"
Cool story 👍🏼 |
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People aught to look up what kink shaming actually means instead of rationalising their shitty behaviour by splitting hairs.
If your gonna be a dick just own it and stop blaming others for being too fragile or calling you out for being a rude asshole. |
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"I don't actually understand how anyone can shame someone else.
If I would feel ashamed of something, I wouldn't do it, and no one would ever make me feel ashamed of anything I've done other than me - so good luck with that! K"
Absolutely and a lot of people feel very secure about their preferences. I think the problem is when individuals throw out negative judgments, expressions of disapproval, or attempts to make someone feel ashamed or guilty about their kinks. Especially those who are new to exploring or already feel nervous about something.
That's why sometimes, unless specifically asked for an opinion on something, a simple "not for me" would suffice. Though occasionally, even when giving an opinion it can come across as very negative because the words used can have connotations.
For example:
"Personally, I don't understand the appeal of watersports, it's not something I'd be interested in"
Vs
"Pissing on each other is absolutely disgusting and nasty! Can't believe people enjoy that kind of thing! 🤢"
One of those responses is loaded with connotations, and one of them isn't.
🤷🏻
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"Kink shaming is not allowed on fab, if you experience it or see it...report it.
…….
So if someone asks on the forum what we think about watersports, I probably comment with something silly like "you taking the piss"...because I find the kink weird - and if you think that's kink shaming, by all means report it."
Is this true? It’s not allowed, is it in the rules, or just good form to keep oppinions to ourselves?
I’m asking for clarification, as then we are not reporting just because we personally don’t like it. |
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"I don't actually understand how anyone can shame someone else.
If I would feel ashamed of something, I wouldn't do it, and no one would ever make me feel ashamed of anything I've done other than me - so good luck with that! K"
I’m not ashamed to say I think your photos are hot 🔥 |
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Kinks that involve exposure to or contact with unconsenting parties deserve to be shamed.
Informed, enthusiastic consent is key.
If someone asks for opinions on something they're into, and people aren't into it and reply with such, that's not shaming. Though it seems to be called such pretty often on here 💜 |
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"I don't actually understand how anyone can shame someone else.
If I would feel ashamed of something, I wouldn't do it, and no one would ever make me feel ashamed of anything I've done other than me - so good luck with that! K
Absolutely and a lot of people feel very secure about their preferences. I think the problem is when individuals throw out negative judgments, expressions of disapproval, or attempts to make someone feel ashamed or guilty about their kinks. Especially those who are new to exploring or already feel nervous about something.
That's why sometimes, unless specifically asked for an opinion on something, a simple "not for me" would suffice. Though occasionally, even when giving an opinion it can come across as very negative because the words used can have connotations.
For example:
"Personally, I don't understand the appeal of watersports, it's not something I'd be interested in"
Vs
"Pissing on each other is absolutely disgusting and nasty! Can't believe people enjoy that kind of thing! 🤢"
One of those responses is loaded with connotations, and one of them isn't.
🤷🏻
"
This. I feel sorry for those sensitive souls who are so overwhelmed by other people's activities that they cannot comment politely with a simple not for me.
All the weasel style rationalising does not prevent, mockery, criticism, and boorish behavior from being what it is.
I keep coming back to the phrase "Your kink is not my kink [but within the bounds of safety and genuine freely given consent] I respect your right to do it."
But with all matters that are taboo, they need to be handled with discretion.
I am of the old school view that BDSM and serious kink is a consensual exploration of the shadow self and the darker parts of human behaviour.
Unfortunately, there is a creeping trend to reimagine BDSM and serious kink as being only those safe and banal porno bedroom activities.
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