FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > When you have a conversation with someone and it feels like you are pulling your teeth
When you have a conversation with someone and it feels like you are pulling your teeth
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I'm referring to conversations on here by the way. Do you instantly get turned off too? I must admit I do, I mean to me the enthusiasm dies away pretty quickly especially if I feel like I'm putting effort in my messages and I don't get the same back.
Anyone the same? Or do you not really care? |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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Had a woman start messaging me, then she just gave on word response and didn't answer any of my questions. I thought it was very strange, like why message me in the 1st place lol |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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I sometimes feel I write to much. I'm a waffler and understand that some people on here have very limited time to be reading paragraphs of replies so I try to stroke a balance.
I'm genuinely curious...
It is sometimes difficult to send a cold message and start a few flowing conversation. To find what you both enjoy chatting about etc.
Xxx |
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100% the same for me.
There’s no space for any connection to grow for me personally if only get a few words back.
Or like, just the lack of “enthusiasm”, good writing, puts me off… I don’t expect people to behave like puppy’s but I am looking to catch people who are on the same wavelength. Happy to chat, open, spontaneous… |
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Think my sense of humour is a bit too dry for some so isn’t always recognised. A sensible or slightly lecturing response to something I think is obviously a joke/sarcasm destroys any enthusiasm to continue |
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"If my replies are short and boring it just tells me I'm not that into them and I can't be arsed. "
This.
If their replies are sort answers, it normally hints they are not into you.
Op, it simple, you have just got to read the room. |
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By *r Bond.Man 9 weeks ago
Moving Around the Midlands |
"I am the same, I'm a chatter if all I get is one or two word replies or they answer me with emojis I just leave it, find someone else to have a chat with."
100% this. I enjoy chatting about anything and everything so if the same effort isn’t made to make the conversation a 2 sided thing I stop putting effort in and inevitably the conversation dies |
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"If my replies are short and boring it just tells me I'm not that into them and I can't be arsed.
This.
If their replies are sort answers, it normally hints they are not into you.
Op, it simple, you have just got to read the room. "
Oh no I can deffo read the room. But I'm a chatter and it can be frustrating nonetheless. I can im referring to stuff like hi how are you. You ok? And stuff like Lol |
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That's just like me OP, I put a lot of effort into my chat, but most of the time it's a very limited response.
But we need to bare in mind, the women we start a conversation with have probably had lots and lots of messages that day already. |
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If someone isn't engaging I don't tend to bother.
I will do one and two word answers sometimes, purely because people deciding I'm boring and going away of their own accord seems less likely to end in hurling abuse like a simple rejection does 💜 |
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"If my replies are short and boring it just tells me I'm not that into them and I can't be arsed.
This.
If their replies are sort answers, it normally hints they are not into you.
Op, it simple, you have just got to read the room.
Oh no I can deffo read the room. But I'm a chatter and it can be frustrating nonetheless. I can im referring to stuff like hi how are you. You ok? And stuff like Lol "
Same  I can pretty much chat to anyone, and about anything.
But like you said, it becomes all one way sometimes and I just get the idea I’m into it more than they are.
I’m not just talking about here, but I definitely can relate.
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By *bi HaiveMan 9 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I'm referring to conversations on here by the way. Do you instantly get turned off too? I must admit I do, I mean to me the enthusiasm dies away pretty quickly especially if I feel like I'm putting effort in my messages and I don't get the same back.
Anyone the same? Or do you not really care?"
Yes |
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Totally agree. Need a bit of chat to get a sense of people and when the replies are one or two words I'm out. Especially strange when they've initiated contact.
I did see a couple say on another forum post that it often means they're not interested. I'd rather you just said that! Although I do understand that some men don't handle rejection well so it probably feels like a safer way to kill the conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"If my replies are short and boring it just tells me I'm not that into them and I can't be arsed.
This.
If their replies are sort answers, it normally hints they are not into you.
Op, it simple, you have just got to read the room.
Oh no I can deffo read the room. But I'm a chatter and it can be frustrating nonetheless. I can im referring to stuff like hi how are you. You ok? And stuff like Lol "
The how are you stuff , I'd even ignore from someone I was already having sex with. Talking for the sake of talking is boring. And that is what most conversations on here feel like. |
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"Totally agree. Need a bit of chat to get a sense of people and when the replies are one or two words I'm out. Especially strange when they've initiated contact.
"
If we are mostly talking about women op, do you get the impression they could possibly be in the middle of many many more conversations with other people? 🧐 |
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It's the ones who open with, 'I'd love to chat with you', and then have the conversational skills of a mouldy carrot that really get me!
Sorry, but you could be Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans (the actor, not the tw#t) all rolled into one, but if you can't hold a decent conversation you'll have me dried up like the Sahara in an instant, and I'm gone. |
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"Totally agree. Need a bit of chat to get a sense of people and when the replies are one or two words I'm out. Especially strange when they've initiated contact.
If we are mostly talking about women op, do you get the impression they could possibly be in the middle of many many more conversations with other people? 🧐"
Possibly yeah. Hard to keep up conversations with someone if you're talking to say 10 other person simultaneously |
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By *aizyWoman 9 weeks ago
west midlands |
"Totally agree. Need a bit of chat to get a sense of people and when the replies are one or two words I'm out. Especially strange when they've initiated contact.
If we are mostly talking about women op, do you get the impression they could possibly be in the middle of many many more conversations with other people? 🧐"
Not just women, I've been in chats with men on here and they have sent me a msg totally unrelated to what we were talking about, when I asked them I got back, sorry that msg wasn't meant for you  |
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"Totally agree. Need a bit of chat to get a sense of people and when the replies are one or two words I'm out. Especially strange when they've initiated contact.
If we are mostly talking about women op, do you get the impression they could possibly be in the middle of many many more conversations with other people? 🧐"
Think that's a pretty safe bet |
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By *dalisqueWoman 9 weeks ago
land of make believe |
Like many on here the conversation is the foreplay for me.
If you can't exited and intrigue my mind then it definitely won't be going anywhere.
I lose interest quite quickly if someone is too difficult to communicate with.
🩵 |
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"Had a woman start messaging me, then she just gave on word response and didn't answer any of my questions. I thought it was very strange, like why message me in the 1st place lol "
People can be flaky on here, I wouldn't worry about it. Onwards and upwards mate. |
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By *eliWoman 9 weeks ago
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Yes. It doesn't mean matched length of message etc but it's about the energy. I'm too busy to pour my energy where it's not wanted. Sometimes I'm not the greatest at responding to messages but when I do? I try and give them the energy they deserve.
I don't want scarily enthusiastic or eyerolling disinterested. Just like matched energy. |
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"I'm referring to conversations on here by the way. Do you instantly get turned off too? I must admit I do, I mean to me the enthusiasm dies away pretty quickly especially if I feel like I'm putting effort in my messages and I don't get the same back.
Anyone the same? Or do you not really care?"
Glad I’m not the only one 
Tired of having to carry the conversation.
My kingdom for a woman with a personality |
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I get this. I'm a right old chatter box. And I think it's been said further up, if I'm getting 1 or 2 word answers then I completely give up on the idea. Especially if I'm putting some top level humour into my message and getting nothing back. |
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A lot for me depends on timing - i usually dip in and out of fab - I don't want to read or reply to essays. Especially deep, bare your soul when we've only exchanged 'hi'
I like short, witty banter style convo.
Anything deeper and I'll put it on the back burner for later and inevitably forget about it.
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"My favourite ones are
Guy: Hi
Me: Hi
Guy: How are you
Me: Am good, how are you.
Guy: Bored
It amazing how of this one happens. "
Or guy : hi
Me : hi
Him : how are you?
Me : I'm good, you?
Him: horny...
🤣🤣🤣🤣 |
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Yeah I feel like that a lot.
If I'm lucky enough to get a response from someone, most of the time the tone/feel that I get from the replies is that I'm basically an annoyance to them.
Some effort usually goes a long way. |
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"A lot for me depends on timing - i usually dip in and out of fab - I don't want to read or reply to essays. Especially deep, bare your soul when we've only exchanged 'hi'
I like short, witty banter style convo.
Anything deeper and I'll put it on the back burner for later and inevitably forget about it.
"
I'm similar. This isn't, to me, the right platform for an in-depth ongoing conversation. I find the messaging clunky having to refresh to see if they've replied. It's just tedious.
If I've got you on another app then I can chat and chat. And memes and GIFs. But even then I'll tend to match energy rather than talk for the sake of talking. |
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I like to learn about a person. I asks lots of questions. And I’m attracted to people who ask questions back. So if someone doesn’t ask questions I loose interest very quickly and will politely remove myself from the chat. |
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"I like to learn about a person. I asks lots of questions. And I’m attracted to people who ask questions back. So if someone doesn’t ask questions I loose interest very quickly and will politely remove myself from the chat. "
Really, even on fab? Don't you think that works better in person?
What kind of Qs do you ask? Are they easy + breezy? |
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"I like to learn about a person. I asks lots of questions. And I’m attracted to people who ask questions back. So if someone doesn’t ask questions I loose interest very quickly and will politely remove myself from the chat.
Really, even on fab? Don't you think that works better in person?
What kind of Qs do you ask? Are they easy + breezy? "
Even on fab…I don’t have a pre prepared list of questions for you haha but in general….I like to find out what motivates a person…what they are passionate about in and out of the bedroom. But that is because I like to establish the chance of chemistry before a social. |
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"I like to learn about a person. I asks lots of questions. And I’m attracted to people who ask questions back. So if someone doesn’t ask questions I loose interest very quickly and will politely remove myself from the chat.
Really, even on fab? Don't you think that works better in person?
What kind of Qs do you ask? Are they easy + breezy?
Even on fab…I don’t have a pre prepared list of questions for you haha but in general….I like to find out what motivates a person…what they are passionate about in and out of the bedroom. But that is because I like to establish the chance of chemistry before a social."
Oh ok, that sounds more like standard chat  |
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"I'm referring to conversations on here by the way. Do you instantly get turned off too? I must admit I do, I mean to me the enthusiasm dies away pretty quickly especially if I feel like I'm putting effort in my messages and I don't get the same back.
Anyone the same? Or do you not really care?"
If I get dead end messages that I can't reply to, I don't reply to them. The conversation has to flow, I need to be engaged and connect with the person I'm talking to
If not, I just don't reply, then at some point I click 'delete all' 🤷🏼♂️ |
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"I like to learn about a person. I asks lots of questions. And I’m attracted to people who ask questions back. So if someone doesn’t ask questions I loose interest very quickly and will politely remove myself from the chat.
Really, even on fab? Don't you think that works better in person?
What kind of Qs do you ask? Are they easy + breezy?
Even on fab…I don’t have a pre prepared list of questions for you haha but in general….I like to find out what motivates a person…what they are passionate about in and out of the bedroom. But that is because I like to establish the chance of chemistry before a social.
Oh ok, that sounds more like standard chat "
Yes, are we talking about non standard chat?
I think the feeling of pulling teeth comes from chatting to a person who doesn’t engage in standard chat |
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That is the standard response we get 
