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Question for the women
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I think nowadays many bathrooms are genderless or there are family bathrooms.
You know I am old, Pickle. So I’d probably gasp. I may even clutch my pearls. BUT being a mother of young adults and a teenage girl, I understand the little girl is safer going to the bathroom with an accompanying adult.
At the end of the day, you won’t be seeing anything you’d never seen before  😂
So I’m cool with it. Not that dads need my approval or anything. |
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"Why do men get sex question fun and women get ones asking how we feel about dads taking their daughters to the toilet?
Honestly? I don’t really know how to speak to other men "
And I just did the men one so they weren’t left out. |
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"I think nowadays many bathrooms are genderless or there are family bathrooms.
You know I am old, Pickle. So I’d probably gasp. I may even clutch my pearls. BUT being a mother of young adults and a teenage girl, I understand the little girl is safer going to the bathroom with an accompanying adult.
At the end of the day, you won’t be seeing anything you’d never seen before 😂
So I’m cool with it. Not that dads need my approval or anything."
I think you would need the approval of women as a dad to enter a women’s bathroom actually |
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I’ve been on this earth for nearly 52 years and to be honest, I’ve never seen a dad go into a female (labelled as such) bathroom with their girls.
Lots of women taking their little boys in the female bathroom, I did it many times with my boys- but not dads with girls. |
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It doesn't bother me. You'll be going into a lockable cubicle, and so will the other people using the facilities. I think most toilets should just be unisex with individual lockable cubicles, and many are in newer buildings.
But I don't see everyone with a penis as a threat, and I find the hysteria about who's using what toilets vastly overblown, anyway.
So in short, I wouldn't be bothered. |
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By *eliWoman 6 weeks ago
. |
"Why do men get sex question fun and women get ones asking how we feel about dads taking their daughters to the toilet?
Valid point"
Thank you, appreciate it.
I wouldn't care, OP. I've yet to see it happen, I doubt I would if it ever did happen. |
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"I’ve been on this earth for nearly 52 years and to be honest, I’ve never seen a dad go into a female (labelled as such) bathroom with their girls.
Lots of women taking their little boys in the female bathroom, I did it many times with my boys- but not dads with girls. "
Same.
My partner said she didn’t feel comfortable with me taking my daughter into the men’s bathroom (urinals, penis on show, other things) and SOMETIMES the only other option is the women’s bathroom which I said I’m not comfortable going in to. It’s something that’s interesting and I hadn’t thought much about. I suppose at least women’s toilets are all cubicles? |
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I have no issue with dad's taking their daughters into the womens toilets.
Having a son and daughter myself id prefer they were able to use clean facilities where they felt comfortable.
But I do also understand how a man in the ladies bathroom might make others feel uncomfortable.
I'm not sure why we need public bathrooms and can't just have 'toilet rooms' (I'm not sure If that makes much sense to anyone else 😅) |
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"I have no issue with dad's taking their daughters into the womens toilets.
Having a son and daughter myself id prefer they were able to use clean facilities where they felt comfortable.
But I do also understand how a man in the ladies bathroom might make others feel uncomfortable.
I'm not sure why we need public bathrooms and can't just have 'toilet rooms' (I'm not sure If that makes much sense to anyone else 😅)"
I’m much more comfortable going to genderless ones. And I occasionally use the disabled ones (my daughter has ASD) but even then I feel like people are so judgey |
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Being honest
I'd not appreciate you being stood in the toilets as a man, whilst waiting for your child to use the bathroom.
Only, because I'd be on the lookout for the safety of my own young child and teenage daughter potentially being in there too. Stands for any male in there , not aimed at you directly.
Plenty of dad's just stand outside and prop the main door open with their foot, and randomly talk to their child every few moments to make sure they're okay.
I've seen plenty of mums do this too outside the male toilets.
You don't need to follow them inside if they are fully capable of using the bathroom themselves.
If they arent able , then just use the disabled or family bathrooms.
People can stare all they like , I've taken my children into disabled toilets plenty of times , when I won't leave them to go alone or nothing else was avaliable.
Sometimes people use the bathrooms to get fully changed so walking in on someone thats potentially undressed isn't really acceptable and standing there waiting when you could be by the door waiting.
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By *dalisqueWoman 6 weeks ago
land of make believe |
My question to you would be why would you not take her into the men's?
Many women take boys in their care into the women's toilets.
We do also have family/parent and child facilities now also.
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"My question to you would be why would you not take her into the men's?
Many women take boys in their care into the women's toilets.
We do also have family/parent and child facilities now also.
"
Answered above that I currently do take my daughter into the men’s bathroom  |
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Single dad parent used to take me into the men's toilets and men's changing rooms when I went swimming with him.
I saw a lot of willies!
I can't say I cared particularly or now vice versa father and daughter going into a female toilet. Now though both scenarios are avoidable in the main I'd have thought. My male friend takes mine to a disabled toilet when he's been out with her. |
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It's better than your young child seeing random penii at the piss trough.
It's not like we're doing anything outside the closed cubicles anyway. At least not if we're respecting other people's space and right to piss in peace 💜 |
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"Sometimes people use the bathrooms to get fully changed so walking in on someone thats potentially undressed isn't really acceptable and standing there waiting when you could be by the door waiting. "
Why would they be undressed outside of a cubicle? If I'm shopping at Asda and go for a piss I didn't sign up for naked people.
Adults can wait to get naked until there's a private space with a closing door. Convincing a toddler not to wet themselves while waiting for the most appropriate space to come free isn't all that reliable 💜 |
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A lot of baby changing tables are in the women's toilets if there isn't a disabled. I used them without hesitation and anyone who didn't like it was welcome to write a letter.
I brought my little girl into the men's changing for swimming for years as did every other dad and I'm pretty sure she saw a lot more nudity and peens in there than any men's toilet, which we also used as needed.
As far as changing rooms are concerned I would be of a mind that seeing bodies in all their shapes and sizes is healthy. |
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"A lot of baby changing tables are in the women's toilets if there isn't a disabled. I used them without hesitation and anyone who didn't like it was welcome to write a letter.
I brought my little girl into the men's changing for swimming for years as did every other dad and I'm pretty sure she saw a lot more nudity and peens in there than any men's toilet, which we also used as needed.
As far as changing rooms are concerned I would be of a mind that seeing bodies in all their shapes and sizes is healthy."
Sorry all this to say that I never felt the need to use the women's toilets with my daughter unless I was looking for a changing table. |
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Many years ago my daughter said she needed a wee.
Off we went to the toilets in a shop.
Didn't really know which one to take her in.
A nice lady came up, saw me confused and offered to take her into the ladies.
I agreed and off they went.
A few minutes later out came to lady and said she'll be out in a minute.
A minute later I heard crying and off I stormed into the ladies, she couldn't reach the handle on the initial exit door.
Never again, I felt stupid and sick at being such an idiot.
My advice.
Take your daughter into the gents, she's always safe with you.
But most toilets now have a disabled or baby changing place, just use any.
Nobody cares.
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"I'd be minorly irritated for a moment and then get over myself.
Side note, at Cheshire Oaks, they have a family toilet w- it has an adult sized one and a mini one side by side 😆😆😆"
I think that’s a bidet my love |
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A man with a young daughter wouldn't bother me in the slightest. But I would be uncomfortable if a man was to come into shared toilets. I really don't feel safe using mixed gender toilets and I hope it doesn't become the norm but I fear that's the way it will go. |
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"A man with a young daughter wouldn't bother me in the slightest. But I would be uncomfortable if a man was to come into shared toilets. I really don't feel safe using mixed gender toilets and I hope it doesn't become the norm but I fear that's the way it will go."
Heard chef |
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"Many years ago my daughter said she needed a wee.
Off we went to the toilets in a shop.
Didn't really know which one to take her in.
A nice lady came up, saw me confused and offered to take her into the ladies.
I agreed and off they went.
A few minutes later out came to lady and said she'll be out in a minute.
A minute later I heard crying and off I stormed into the ladies, she couldn't reach the handle on the initial exit door.
Never again, I felt stupid and sick at being such an idiot.
My advice.
Take your daughter into the gents, she's always safe with you.
But most toilets now have a disabled or baby changing place, just use any.
Nobody cares.
"
I do take her into the gents at the moment. And I wouldn’t leave her. Especially not with her ASD and separation anxiety. |
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"A lot of baby changing tables are in the women's toilets if there isn't a disabled. I used them without hesitation and anyone who didn't like it was welcome to write a letter.
I brought my little girl into the men's changing for swimming for years as did every other dad and I'm pretty sure she saw a lot more nudity and peens in there than any men's toilet, which we also used as needed.
As far as changing rooms are concerned I would be of a mind that seeing bodies in all their shapes and sizes is healthy."
My feeling about using disabled toilets is that they are essential to be available for people who are disabled. I would be ok using them as my daughter has ASD but also would consider that people don’t automatically know that and may be judgey. But I’ve used them many times with my daughter. Yesterday I did in fact. |
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"Many years ago my daughter said she needed a wee.
Off we went to the toilets in a shop.
Didn't really know which one to take her in.
A nice lady came up, saw me confused and offered to take her into the ladies.
I agreed and off they went.
A few minutes later out came to lady and said she'll be out in a minute.
A minute later I heard crying and off I stormed into the ladies, she couldn't reach the handle on the initial exit door.
Never again, I felt stupid and sick at being such an idiot.
My advice.
Take your daughter into the gents, she's always safe with you.
But most toilets now have a disabled or baby changing place, just use any.
Nobody cares.
"
No judgement as times have definitely changed but I wouldn’t dream of sending a child into a toilet with a stranger  |
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It's nice to see some of these welcoming responses. I was in that situation several times when my daughters were around that age and their mum was ill in hospital.
Complete strangers would be like it's ok I'll take her in for you. Like my daughter isn't going to be freaked out and want her dad with her?
Sure you can find unisex baby changing rooms, which usually have a toilet. Pretty sure they were all called Mother and baby changing rooms back then still 😂. The thing is a 3 or 4 year old kid, doesn't say I may need to toilet in 30 minutes dad. When they need to go they generally need to go.
When push comes to shove, my kids needs are coming over random strangers who may take offence at my presence.
And I'm not sorry about posting on a thread aimed at women either. |
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"I'd be minorly irritated for a moment and then get over myself.
Side note, at Cheshire Oaks, they have a family toilet w- it has an adult sized one and a mini one side by side 😆😆😆
I think that’s a bidet my love"
😆😆😆 No it was a proper mini toilet... It was hilarious.. I took a photograph of it for my mum  |
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"It's nice to see some of these welcoming responses. I was in that situation several times when my daughters were around that age and their mum was ill in hospital.
Complete strangers would be like it's ok I'll take her in for you. Like my daughter isn't going to be freaked out and want her dad with her?
Sure you can find unisex baby changing rooms, which usually have a toilet. Pretty sure they were all called Mother and baby changing rooms back then still 😂. The thing is a 3 or 4 year old kid, doesn't say I may need to toilet in 30 minutes dad. When they need to go they generally need to go.
When push comes to shove, my kids needs are coming over random strangers who may take offence at my presence.
And I'm not sorry about posting on a thread aimed at women either."
Your post is welcome.
I guess I aimed it at some more so because it’s their space and I just wondered about their thoughts |
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"I'd be minorly irritated for a moment and then get over myself.
Side note, at Cheshire Oaks, they have a family toilet w- it has an adult sized one and a mini one side by side 😆😆😆
I think that’s a bidet my love
😆😆😆 No it was a proper mini toilet... It was hilarious.. I took a photograph of it for my mum "
Bless you 🫶🏾 |
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"A lot of baby changing tables are in the women's toilets if there isn't a disabled. I used them without hesitation and anyone who didn't like it was welcome to write a letter.
I brought my little girl into the men's changing for swimming for years as did every other dad and I'm pretty sure she saw a lot more nudity and peens in there than any men's toilet, which we also used as needed.
As far as changing rooms are concerned I would be of a mind that seeing bodies in all their shapes and sizes is healthy.
Sorry all this to say that I never felt the need to use the women's toilets with my daughter unless I was looking for a changing table."
Ok plenty of dads come into the ladies with kids |
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"Many years ago my daughter said she needed a wee.
Off we went to the toilets in a shop.
Didn't really know which one to take her in.
A nice lady came up, saw me confused and offered to take her into the ladies.
I agreed and off they went.
A few minutes later out came to lady and said she'll be out in a minute.
A minute later I heard crying and off I stormed into the ladies, she couldn't reach the handle on the initial exit door.
Never again, I felt stupid and sick at being such an idiot.
My advice.
Take your daughter into the gents, she's always safe with you.
But most toilets now have a disabled or baby changing place, just use any.
Nobody cares.
No judgement as times have definitely changed but I wouldn’t dream of sending a child into a toilet with a stranger "
You're right.
It was a terrible decision to let her go in with a stranger but I was caught on the hop and made a rash decision.
It never happened again and it sent shudders when I later thought about it.
But, we all make mistakes, luckily all ended well.
In a few years she'll be holding my hand taking me in for a wee.  |
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By *aizyWoman 6 weeks ago
west midlands |
"I'd be minorly irritated for a moment and then get over myself.
Side note, at Cheshire Oaks, they have a family toilet w- it has an adult sized one and a mini one side by side 😆😆😆
I think that’s a bidet my love
😆😆😆 No it was a proper mini toilet... It was hilarious.. I took a photograph of it for my mum "
I remember these from when I was a kid. |
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By *aizyWoman 6 weeks ago
west midlands |
"I'd be minorly irritated for a moment and then get over myself.
Side note, at Cheshire Oaks, they have a family toilet w- it has an adult sized one and a mini one side by side 😆😆😆
I think that’s a bidet my love
😆😆😆 No it was a proper mini toilet... It was hilarious.. I took a photograph of it for my mum
I remember these from when I was a kid."
Oh and it wouldn't bother me, I go in, find a cubicle and shut and lock the door. |
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"A lot of baby changing tables are in the women's toilets if there isn't a disabled. I used them without hesitation and anyone who didn't like it was welcome to write a letter.
I brought my little girl into the men's changing for swimming for years as did every other dad and I'm pretty sure she saw a lot more nudity and peens in there than any men's toilet, which we also used as needed.
As far as changing rooms are concerned I would be of a mind that seeing bodies in all their shapes and sizes is healthy.
My feeling about using disabled toilets is that they are essential to be available for people who are disabled. I would be ok using them as my daughter has ASD but also would consider that people don’t automatically know that and may be judgey. But I’ve used them many times with my daughter. Yesterday I did in fact. "
Sunflower lanyard or something similar? I've got a little set of flashcards to show people what I need in case I got into shutdown and become mute. I've never needed to use them, but it's comforting to have them. |
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"It's nice to see some of these welcoming responses. I was in that situation several times when my daughters were around that age and their mum was ill in hospital.
Complete strangers would be like it's ok I'll take her in for you. Like my daughter isn't going to be freaked out and want her dad with her?
Sure you can find unisex baby changing rooms, which usually have a toilet. Pretty sure they were all called Mother and baby changing rooms back then still 😂. The thing is a 3 or 4 year old kid, doesn't say I may need to toilet in 30 minutes dad. When they need to go they generally need to go.
When push comes to shove, my kids needs are coming over random strangers who may take offence at my presence.
And I'm not sorry about posting on a thread aimed at women either.
Your post is welcome.
I guess I aimed it at some more so because it’s their space and I just wondered about their thoughts "
Pickle you're a star sir. Apologies if that sounded like I was having a pop at you, it wasn't in my thoughts at all. You are quite right it is their space. Including a 4 year old girl, who needs her parent to take her to the toilet. |
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"My feeling about using disabled toilets is that they are essential to be available for people who are disabled. I would be ok using them as my daughter has ASD but also would consider that people don’t automatically know that and may be judgey. But I’ve used them many times with my daughter. Yesterday I did in fact.
Sunflower lanyard or something similar? I've got a little set of flashcards to show people what I need in case I got into shutdown and become mute. I've never needed to use them, but it's comforting to have them."
I agree disabled toilets should be kept free for those that need them. But it's also none of anyone else's business why someone is using the disabled toilet, so they should keep their judgements to themselves. Lots of disabilities and chronic conditions/illnesses are "invisible". It really winds me up when people have the audacity to question why people who don't "look" or "seem" disabled are using a disabled toilet. Nobody should have to justify themselves to anyone. |
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"My feeling about using disabled toilets is that they are essential to be available for people who are disabled. I would be ok using them as my daughter has ASD but also would consider that people don’t automatically know that and may be judgey. But I’ve used them many times with my daughter. Yesterday I did in fact.
Sunflower lanyard or something similar? I've got a little set of flashcards to show people what I need in case I got into shutdown and become mute. I've never needed to use them, but it's comforting to have them.
I agree disabled toilets should be kept free for those that need them. But it's also none of anyone else's business why someone is using the disabled toilet, so they should keep their judgements to themselves. Lots of disabilities and chronic conditions/illnesses are "invisible". It really winds me up when people have the audacity to question why people who don't "look" or "seem" disabled are using a disabled toilet. Nobody should have to justify themselves to anyone. "
Very true, but it happens. At least I can wave a card at someone and walk away without having to get flustered. |
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"A lot of baby changing tables are in the women's toilets if there isn't a disabled. I used them without hesitation and anyone who didn't like it was welcome to write a letter.
I brought my little girl into the men's changing for swimming for years as did every other dad and I'm pretty sure she saw a lot more nudity and peens in there than any men's toilet, which we also used as needed.
As far as changing rooms are concerned I would be of a mind that seeing bodies in all their shapes and sizes is healthy.
My feeling about using disabled toilets is that they are essential to be available for people who are disabled. I would be ok using them as my daughter has ASD but also would consider that people don’t automatically know that and may be judgey. But I’ve used them many times with my daughter. Yesterday I did in fact. "
I get that and I would feel the same. It's often the place to find a changing table unfortunately. |
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"A lot of baby changing tables are in the women's toilets if there isn't a disabled. I used them without hesitation and anyone who didn't like it was welcome to write a letter.
I brought my little girl into the men's changing for swimming for years as did every other dad and I'm pretty sure she saw a lot more nudity and peens in there than any men's toilet, which we also used as needed.
As far as changing rooms are concerned I would be of a mind that seeing bodies in all their shapes and sizes is healthy.
Sorry all this to say that I never felt the need to use the women's toilets with my daughter unless I was looking for a changing table.
Ok plenty of dads come into the ladies with kids "
I'm not sure I understand your reply. I wasn't being critical of Dad's that bring kids into the ladies. But I've never felt like I needed to for any reason other than changing a n*ppy. It wouldn't have even occurred to me to bring my daughter into a women's toilet. |
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"A lot of baby changing tables are in the women's toilets if there isn't a disabled. I used them without hesitation and anyone who didn't like it was welcome to write a letter.
I brought my little girl into the men's changing for swimming for years as did every other dad and I'm pretty sure she saw a lot more nudity and peens in there than any men's toilet, which we also used as needed.
As far as changing rooms are concerned I would be of a mind that seeing bodies in all their shapes and sizes is healthy.
Sorry all this to say that I never felt the need to use the women's toilets with my daughter unless I was looking for a changing table.
Ok plenty of dads come into the ladies with kids
I'm not sure I understand your reply. I wasn't being critical of Dad's that bring kids into the ladies. But I've never felt like I needed to for any reason other than changing a n*ppy. It wouldn't have even occurred to me to bring my daughter into a women's toilet."
It was just intended to be a gentle confirming response that it does happen - the ok should say 'oh'... but not in a sarky way 
Oh man, give me a shovel! |
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"Sometimes people use the bathrooms to get fully changed so walking in on someone thats potentially undressed isn't really acceptable and standing there waiting when you could be by the door waiting.
Why would they be undressed outside of a cubicle? If I'm shopping at Asda and go for a piss I didn't sign up for naked people.
Adults can wait to get naked until there's a private space with a closing door. Convincing a toddler not to wet themselves while waiting for the most appropriate space to come free isn't all that reliable 💜"
When you see it for yourself you can ask them why.
I've been in toilets and service stations toilets on long drives and seen naked people getting fully changed or having a mini wash using the sinks in front of everyone, why?
How the hell would I know i didnt bother asking.
Why do some grown men pull their entire trousers and pants down to their ankles whilst having a piss?
Only they would know the answer.
Nothing stops a dad using the male toilet cubicles with their daughter, put your hand over her eyes and steer them towards a cubicle if need be.
Just like they did in that film Three Men and a Little Lady.
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"Sometimes people use the bathrooms to get fully changed so walking in on someone thats potentially undressed isn't really acceptable and standing there waiting when you could be by the door waiting.
Why would they be undressed outside of a cubicle? If I'm shopping at Asda and go for a piss I didn't sign up for naked people.
Adults can wait to get naked until there's a private space with a closing door. Convincing a toddler not to wet themselves while waiting for the most appropriate space to come free isn't all that reliable 💜
When you see it for yourself you can ask them why.
I've been in toilets and service stations toilets on long drives and seen naked people getting fully changed or having a mini wash using the sinks in front of everyone, why?
How the hell would I know i didnt bother asking.
Why do some grown men pull their entire trousers and pants down to their ankles whilst having a piss?
Only they would know the answer.
Nothing stops a dad using the male toilet cubicles with their daughter, put your hand over her eyes and steer them towards a cubicle if need be.
Just like they did in that film Three Men and a Little Lady. "
I suppose I meant more why is someone's desire to be undressed in an area not explicitly meant for exposure more important than taking care of a child's safety and bodily functions.
At least in the men's it's expected to see genitalia at the urinals and troughs rather than it just being an unpleasant surprise.
Though, if you're stuck with only facilities available being the kind where people are likely to be washing their bits in the sink, I'd be even more inclined to welcome a dad and daughter into the women's than have them face whatever people are doing in the men's 💜 |
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"Sometimes people use the bathrooms to get fully changed so walking in on someone thats potentially undressed isn't really acceptable and standing there waiting when you could be by the door waiting.
Why would they be undressed outside of a cubicle? If I'm shopping at Asda and go for a piss I didn't sign up for naked people.
Adults can wait to get naked until there's a private space with a closing door. Convincing a toddler not to wet themselves while waiting for the most appropriate space to come free isn't all that reliable 💜
When you see it for yourself you can ask them why.
I've been in toilets and service stations toilets on long drives and seen naked people getting fully changed or having a mini wash using the sinks in front of everyone, why?
How the hell would I know i didnt bother asking.
Why do some grown men pull their entire trousers and pants down to their ankles whilst having a piss?
Only they would know the answer.
Nothing stops a dad using the male toilet cubicles with their daughter, put your hand over her eyes and steer them towards a cubicle if need be.
Just like they did in that film Three Men and a Little Lady.
I suppose I meant more why is someone's desire to be undressed in an area not explicitly meant for exposure more important than taking care of a child's safety and bodily functions.
At least in the men's it's expected to see genitalia at the urinals and troughs rather than it just being an unpleasant surprise.
Though, if you're stuck with only facilities available being the kind where people are likely to be washing their bits in the sink, I'd be even more inclined to welcome a dad and daughter into the women's than have them face whatever people are doing in the men's 💜"
Coming back to the main point , in 2025 the facilities now in most places are better than ever. Family bathrooms and disabled toilets are all over the place and usually have several toilets avaliable, not just one so it doesnt usually cause a queue of people waiting outside the door or an issue to use them with a child of any gender in tow. They usually are always closer as well than Male or Female based toilets because the need to use one is more urgent.
A grown man doesn't need to be stood in a female only toilet waiting for their child to use a bathroom.
What about other users?
The elderly that wouldn't be used to sharing spaces with men.
My young daughter seeing a man in the wrong gender toilets and the upset it may cause her.
My teenage daughter at an awkward age wanting to use a bathroom and not going in because a man is stood in them. She has gender neutral toilets at school, but they are very different in the design of how they've been made so you'll not come face to face with another gender going in/out of them.
So many reasons are more against it than for and I'd stand by the above for my children being in them in public areas.
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"I’ve been on this earth for nearly 52 years and to be honest, I’ve never seen a dad go into a female (labelled as such) bathroom with their girls.
Lots of women taking their little boys in the female bathroom, I did it many times with my boys- but not dads with girls.
Same.
My partner said she didn’t feel comfortable with me taking my daughter into the men’s bathroom (urinals, penis on show, other things) and SOMETIMES the only other option is the women’s bathroom which I said I’m not comfortable going in to. It’s something that’s interesting and I hadn’t thought much about. I suppose at least women’s toilets are all cubicles?"
Just want to reiterate this point here |
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I’ve never gone into the women’s toilets. This came from a discussion with my fiance, the mother of my child. I only wanted opinions, I don’t need projection. Respect the opinions of women on this and I have never done this because I worried about the comfort of women in a women’s space. It’s also why I posed the question to women, those who’d be impacted.
My takeaway is that if the men’s aren’t an option, disabled toilets are good and if possible, other options (though I’ve not come across any of the family rooms with toilets in yet).
If I haven’t replied to you, doesn’t mean I haven’t read you or heard you.
I do not wish for this to become a discussion that isn’t related to things I’m talking about nor do I wish it to be about things people are imagining rather than what I’ve said. And I certainly don’t wish for anyone to fall out over it.
Peace and love. |
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"I’ve never gone into the women’s toilets. This came from a discussion with my fiance, the mother of my child. I only wanted opinions, I don’t need projection. Respect the opinions of women on this and I have never done this because I worried about the comfort of women in a women’s space. It’s also why I posed the question to women, those who’d be impacted.
I think personally if the situation was explained to me I might be more willing to allow it
My takeaway is that if the men’s aren’t an option, disabled toilets are good and if possible, other options (though I’ve not come across any of the family rooms with toilets in yet).
If I haven’t replied to you, doesn’t mean I haven’t read you or heard you.
I do not wish for this to become a discussion that isn’t related to things I’m talking about nor do I wish it to be about things people are imagining rather than what I’ve said. And I certainly don’t wish for anyone to fall out over it.
Peace and love. "
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"Coming back to the main point , in 2025 the facilities now in most places are better than ever. Family bathrooms and disabled toilets are all over the place and usually have several toilets avaliable, not just one so it doesnt usually cause a queue of people waiting outside the door or an issue to use them with a child of any gender in tow. They usually are always closer as well than Male or Female based toilets because the need to use one is more urgent.
A grown man doesn't need to be stood in a female only toilet waiting for their child to use a bathroom.
What about other users?
The elderly that wouldn't be used to sharing spaces with men.
My young daughter seeing a man in the wrong gender toilets and the upset it may cause her.
My teenage daughter at an awkward age wanting to use a bathroom and not going in because a man is stood in them. She has gender neutral toilets at school, but they are very different in the design of how they've been made so you'll not come face to face with another gender going in/out of them.
So many reasons are more against it than for and I'd stand by the above for my children being in them in public areas. "
The assumption in the situation is that there isn't a family bathroom available, as that's obviously the first choice.
The elderly aren't used to seeing girls kissing each other or sex on TV either.
A grown man doesn't need to be there for himself. A child that hasn't got the hang of wiping or isn't tall enough to lock and unlock the door or reach the sink needs their parent or guardian to make sure they're clean and safe.
A confused daughter doesn't seem any worse than a confused son when he sees a little girl in the men's toilets while he's there with his penis out.
A teenager generally has the bladder control and personal agency to wait until the man has finished helping his child to enter or exit a cubicle.
So, Pickle, the answer is some people will take issue with it. As far as I'm concerned if there are no more appropriate facilities available and as long as you announce before entering in case someone needs to cover up in the common area then it's all good. But you just do what you think is right to make sure your daughter is safe and looked after 💜 |
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"So, Pickle, the answer is some people will take issue with it. As far as I'm concerned if there are no more appropriate facilities available and as long as you announce before entering in case someone needs to cover up in the common area then it's all good. But you just do what you think is right to make sure your daughter is safe and looked after 💜"
Thanks, Prey. 🫶🏾
I think for me the clear thing is obviously I’m not going to just stroll into the women’s toilets as a first choice. I already said I’m not comfortable going in but wanted to check I am not being silly there. I haven’t and my partner hasn’t seen the family toilets. I’ve seen changing rooms and when I’ve gone in there haven’t been toilets. I also have just used the disabled toilets if I’m particularly unsure of the men’s (because of reasons) but for example at the football yesterday we and other parents queued for over 15 minutes and our children were visibly upset and holding it in which they didn’t enjoy.
I think it’s just one of those things where, I can’t wait to not have to think about it but I do currently so want to get it right by my daughter and by others around. I realise though that’s not always possible and my kid comes first always. |
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By *enelope2UWoman 6 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
Wouldn't care... Sone males aren't mature enough to even have children yet breed those are who I'm more concerned about than a responsible protective father ensuring his child can use a toilet and be safe.
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"Sometimes people use the bathrooms to get fully changed so walking in on someone thats potentially undressed isn't really acceptable and standing there waiting when you could be by the door waiting.
Why would they be undressed outside of a cubicle? If I'm shopping at Asda and go for a piss I didn't sign up for naked people.
Adults can wait to get naked until there's a private space with a closing door. Convincing a toddler not to wet themselves while waiting for the most appropriate space to come free isn't all that reliable 💜
When you see it for yourself you can ask them why.
I've been in toilets and service stations toilets on long drives and seen naked people getting fully changed or having a mini wash using the sinks in front of everyone, why?
How the hell would I know i didnt bother asking.
Why do some grown men pull their entire trousers and pants down to their ankles whilst having a piss?
Only they would know the answer.
Nothing stops a dad using the male toilet cubicles with their daughter, put your hand over her eyes and steer them towards a cubicle if need be.
Just like they did in that film Three Men and a Little Lady.
I suppose I meant more why is someone's desire to be undressed in an area not explicitly meant for exposure more important than taking care of a child's safety and bodily functions.
At least in the men's it's expected to see genitalia at the urinals and troughs rather than it just being an unpleasant surprise.
Though, if you're stuck with only facilities available being the kind where people are likely to be washing their bits in the sink, I'd be even more inclined to welcome a dad and daughter into the women's than have them face whatever people are doing in the men's 💜
Coming back to the main point , in 2025 the facilities now in most places are better than ever. Family bathrooms and disabled toilets are all over the place and usually have several toilets avaliable, not just one so it doesnt usually cause a queue of people waiting outside the door or an issue to use them with a child of any gender in tow. They usually are always closer as well than Male or Female based toilets because the need to use one is more urgent.
A grown man doesn't need to be stood in a female only toilet waiting for their child to use a bathroom.
What about other users?
The elderly that wouldn't be used to sharing spaces with men.
My young daughter seeing a man in the wrong gender toilets and the upset it may cause her.
My teenage daughter at an awkward age wanting to use a bathroom and not going in because a man is stood in them. She has gender neutral toilets at school, but they are very different in the design of how they've been made so you'll not come face to face with another gender going in/out of them.
So many reasons are more against it than for and I'd stand by the above for my children being in them in public areas.
"
How does she manage when the toilets are being serviced / cleaned by a man? |
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"Sometimes people use the bathrooms to get fully changed so walking in on someone thats potentially undressed isn't really acceptable and standing there waiting when you could be by the door waiting.
Why would they be undressed outside of a cubicle? If I'm shopping at Asda and go for a piss I didn't sign up for naked people.
Adults can wait to get naked until there's a private space with a closing door. Convincing a toddler not to wet themselves while waiting for the most appropriate space to come free isn't all that reliable 💜
When you see it for yourself you can ask them why.
I've been in toilets and service stations toilets on long drives and seen naked people getting fully changed or having a mini wash using the sinks in front of everyone, why?
How the hell would I know i didnt bother asking.
Why do some grown men pull their entire trousers and pants down to their ankles whilst having a piss?
Only they would know the answer.
Nothing stops a dad using the male toilet cubicles with their daughter, put your hand over her eyes and steer them towards a cubicle if need be.
Just like they did in that film Three Men and a Little Lady.
I suppose I meant more why is someone's desire to be undressed in an area not explicitly meant for exposure more important than taking care of a child's safety and bodily functions.
At least in the men's it's expected to see genitalia at the urinals and troughs rather than it just being an unpleasant surprise.
Though, if you're stuck with only facilities available being the kind where people are likely to be washing their bits in the sink, I'd be even more inclined to welcome a dad and daughter into the women's than have them face whatever people are doing in the men's 💜
Coming back to the main point , in 2025 the facilities now in most places are better than ever. Family bathrooms and disabled toilets are all over the place and usually have several toilets avaliable, not just one so it doesnt usually cause a queue of people waiting outside the door or an issue to use them with a child of any gender in tow. They usually are always closer as well than Male or Female based toilets because the need to use one is more urgent.
A grown man doesn't need to be stood in a female only toilet waiting for their child to use a bathroom.
What about other users?
The elderly that wouldn't be used to sharing spaces with men.
My young daughter seeing a man in the wrong gender toilets and the upset it may cause her.
My teenage daughter at an awkward age wanting to use a bathroom and not going in because a man is stood in them. She has gender neutral toilets at school, but they are very different in the design of how they've been made so you'll not come face to face with another gender going in/out of them.
So many reasons are more against it than for and I'd stand by the above for my children being in them in public areas.
How does she manage when the toilets are being serviced / cleaned by a man? "
There's always a sign on the door or a cleaning sign put out to pre warn you that a male attendant may be working |
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The issue with men's toilets is the urinals are open.
In all my 59 years, and being in hundreds of public female toilets I've never seen a naked woman, or anyone getting changed.
It wouldn't bother me if a man took a young girl into the ladies.
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"The issue with men's toilets is the urinals are open.
In all my 59 years, and being in hundreds of public female toilets I've never seen a naked woman, or anyone getting changed.
It wouldn't bother me if a man took a young girl into the ladies.
"
Neither have I.
I have seen women pulling their tights up but if a man opened the door slightly and said something like
"Guy bringing his daughter in" they could quickly lower their skirt.
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Would I rather my 4 year old daughter was taken into a ladies loo with cubicles or a men's loo with urinals? That isn't a difficult question for me to answer.
I'm guessing dad would go into the cubicle with his daughter.
I think the 4 year old should be the focus here. |
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It wouldn't bother me as long as it was asked if it was ok, the husband has issues with this too, our little one refuses to go into the men's and he doesn't like going into the ladies, I always tell him to just shout inside to ask if anyone minds 1st, there's plenty of guys who do this.
Mrs |
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By *dalisqueWoman 6 weeks ago
land of make believe |
"My question to you would be why would you not take her into the men's?
Many women take boys in their care into the women's toilets.
We do also have family/parent and child facilities now also.
Answered above that I currently do take my daughter into the men’s bathroom "
Why is this even a question?!
Take her into the men's until she can go into the women's or use the family ones.
Did you procreate without help?? |
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"Why wouldn’t you take her into the men’s bathroom, OP, if she wasn’t yet ready to use the women’s unaccompanied?
Mrs TMN x"
I can't speak for the OP, but he did say his partner wasn't comfortable with him taking his daughter into the gents.
But, I could think of a few reasons.
The gents/disabled are busy. The gents are filthy. His daughter may not feel comfortable in the gents toilets. |
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"Why wouldn’t you take her into the men’s bathroom, OP, if she wasn’t yet ready to use the women’s unaccompanied?
Mrs TMN x
I can't speak for the OP, but he did say his partner wasn't comfortable with him taking his daughter into the gents.
But, I could think of a few reasons.
The gents/disabled are busy. The gents are filthy. His daughter may not feel comfortable in the gents toilets."
Women's are filthy too. I swear some p must live in squalor if they treat their homes like they treat public facilities |
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"Why wouldn’t you take her into the men’s bathroom, OP, if she wasn’t yet ready to use the women’s unaccompanied?
Mrs TMN x
I can't speak for the OP, but he did say his partner wasn't comfortable with him taking his daughter into the gents.
But, I could think of a few reasons.
The gents/disabled are busy. The gents are filthy. His daughter may not feel comfortable in the gents toilets."
Oh I know there are many reasons as have been discussed above I was interested in the OP’s thinking. |
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"Why wouldn’t you take her into the men’s bathroom, OP, if she wasn’t yet ready to use the women’s unaccompanied?
Mrs TMN x
I can't speak for the OP, but he did say his partner wasn't comfortable with him taking his daughter into the gents.
But, I could think of a few reasons.
The gents/disabled are busy. The gents are filthy. His daughter may not feel comfortable in the gents toilets.
Women's are filthy too. I swear some p must live in squalor if they treat their homes like they treat public facilities"
I don't doubt that for a second. |
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"Why wouldn’t you take her into the men’s bathroom, OP, if she wasn’t yet ready to use the women’s unaccompanied?
Mrs TMN x
I can't speak for the OP, but he did say his partner wasn't comfortable with him taking his daughter into the gents.
But, I could think of a few reasons.
The gents/disabled are busy. The gents are filthy. His daughter may not feel comfortable in the gents toilets.
Women's are filthy too. I swear some p must live in squalor if they treat their homes like they treat public facilities"
Certainly in the hospitality industry, where I would have been checking the loo's, the women's are almost almost in way worse shape. |
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"Why wouldn’t you take her into the men’s bathroom, OP, if she wasn’t yet ready to use the women’s unaccompanied?
Mrs TMN x
I can't speak for the OP, but he did say his partner wasn't comfortable with him taking his daughter into the gents.
But, I could think of a few reasons.
The gents/disabled are busy. The gents are filthy. His daughter may not feel comfortable in the gents toilets.
Women's are filthy too. I swear some p must live in squalor if they treat their homes like they treat public facilities
Certainly in the hospitality industry, where I would have been checking the loo's, the women's are almost almost in way worse shape. "
I genuine prefer to dodge behind a tree than use some of the public loos I've been in.  |
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"Why wouldn’t you take her into the men’s bathroom, OP, if she wasn’t yet ready to use the women’s unaccompanied?
Mrs TMN x"
I do take her into the men’s, my partner cited the reasons of men having their penises out and not feeling comfortable with my daughter in that space with men at a urinal. I think also my daughter does talk a lot about wanting privacy (from others; she won’t go to the toilet in public without us) and yeah. For me I’m not gonna lie, it’s also the behaviour of men in the gents. Especially like if I go to the football like we did on Sunday, there’s men who are d*unk and being silly and it’s just not really the vibe but I have never thought about not using them until my partner expressed upset about it. I also think yeah like men piss on the floor, there are fewer cubicles and often there’s issues with the one or two there are. Again at the football there was only one working cubicle in our zone in the men’s. It was just a lot so I went to the disabled at half time. But again as I said, queuing for over 15 minutes with my ASD daughter and other ASD kids is go were all getting upset and overwhelmed. It’s just yeah.
As I said, I would still use the gents with my daughter and sometimes the disabled isn’t available so we just wait but yeah considering what I would do after my convo with the fiance. Thought I’d ask women for their opinion on how they’d feel. |
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"Why wouldn’t you take her into the men’s bathroom, OP, if she wasn’t yet ready to use the women’s unaccompanied?
Mrs TMN x
I do take her into the men’s, my partner cited the reasons of men having their penises out and not feeling comfortable with my daughter in that space with men at a urinal. I think also my daughter does talk a lot about wanting privacy (from others; she won’t go to the toilet in public without us) and yeah. For me I’m not gonna lie, it’s also the behaviour of men in the gents. Especially like if I go to the football like we did on Sunday, there’s men who are d*unk and being silly and it’s just not really the vibe but I have never thought about not using them until my partner expressed upset about it. I also think yeah like men piss on the floor, there are fewer cubicles and often there’s issues with the one or two there are. Again at the football there was only one working cubicle in our zone in the men’s. It was just a lot so I went to the disabled at half time. But again as I said, queuing for over 15 minutes with my ASD daughter and other ASD kids is go were all getting upset and overwhelmed. It’s just yeah.
As I said, I would still use the gents with my daughter and sometimes the disabled isn’t available so we just wait but yeah considering what I would do after my convo with the fiance. Thought I’d ask women for their opinion on how they’d feel. "
Thanks, this really helps me to see where you’re coming from. That sounds like a really stressful time with the football toilets 
I don’t think children seeing a penis in that situation is horrific. The human body is not overtly sexual and I think we have a very prudish attitude towards it in the UK. It’s us as adults who see it through a sexual lens rather than children. I’m aware this is an unpopular opinion and obviously I’m not dismissing those who have been harmed by sexual assault or abuse and have different experiences from me.
Not having enough cubicles in the men’s isn’t something I’d considered, cos it’s all cubicles in the women’s, although we usually have to queue for longer.
Personally I would have no problem with you bringing your daughter into the women’s but I was interested in the reasons you would avoid the men’s.
Bottom line is if your kid needs to go, they need to go. I think most people would be understanding of that.
Mrs TMN x |
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Simple solution....
Knock the mens, women's, disabled and family into one huge toilet. Put nothing but cubicles in it, including a couple of disabled/family ones too.
Then there's no question of anyone seeing anything, or which toilet to use etc.....
Why they're not more common is beyond me. But then, society has got rather inflamed about who can use what bathroom recently 🤷🏻 |
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"Simple solution....
Knock the mens, women's, disabled and family into one huge toilet. Put nothing but cubicles in it, including a couple of disabled/family ones too.
Then there's no question of anyone seeing anything, or which toilet to use etc.....
Why they're not more common is beyond me. But then, society has got rather inflamed about who can use what bathroom recently 🤷🏻"
Absolutely this! |
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"The men may not want the chance for a small girl to see their penis either. "
This is a solid point for me.
In the communal areas of a women's bathroom there's no reason to have your bits out.
Men can have feelings about surprise exposure 💜 |
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"Simple solution....
Knock the mens, women's, disabled and family into one huge toilet. Put nothing but cubicles in it, including a couple of disabled/family ones too.
Then there's no question of anyone seeing anything, or which toilet to use etc.....
Why they're not more common is beyond me. But then, society has got rather inflamed about who can use what bathroom recently 🤷🏻
Absolutely this! "
Absolutely agree. Where I've seen large universal toilets in other countries if there's urinals they are at the back. So no one has to pass people with their penises out.
If you go to a small establishment, guess what, they have one toilet for everyone. And suddenly no one has an issue. 😂 |
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"Simple solution....
Knock the mens, women's, disabled and family into one huge toilet. Put nothing but cubicles in it, including a couple of disabled/family ones too.
Then there's no question of anyone seeing anything, or which toilet to use etc.....
Why they're not more common is beyond me. But then, society has got rather inflamed about who can use what bathroom recently 🤷🏻
Absolutely this!
Absolutely agree. Where I've seen large universal toilets in other countries if there's urinals they are at the back. So no one has to pass people with their penises out.
If you go to a small establishment, guess what, they have one toilet for everyone. And suddenly no one has an issue. 😂 "
Seems we here in the UK have got hung up on mens toilets and women's toilets. So many other countries don't have this problem and no one seems to give a crap about it either (no pun intended!)
And for those people who wouldn't use a toilet with the opposing sex present in it, how about doing what wagamama does and just have a bank of privately accessible toilets each with their own door to the outside, toilet and sink?
Solves everything really! |
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By *a LunaWoman 6 weeks ago
o o OO o o |
I used to take my boys into the men’s bathroom once they reached an age - my eldest is tall and we would get some weird looks off the women, so I opted for the mens.
I would just shout out, check there was nobody hanging around and then wait at the door for them. Nobody ever said anything.
I did once get told off by a swimming club for hanging around in the male changing room of the baths when I took them swimming, so instead I had to take them into a cubicle in the women’s and I’d stand outside the cubicle to wait for them.
The joys of being a single parent.
Also the joys of reading on Netmums that most assaults happen in public toilets, so it made an already vigilant mum (anxiety, kid with autism) super extra vigilant.
I’m glad they’re older now to be honest.
Do what you have to do Pickle. You have a child with you.
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I don't understand all this talk about men accidentally showing their willy's to unwitting kids.
This just doesn't happen. Blokes pee with their back to the room facing the urinal and zip up before they turn around.
No one is walking around with their dick hanging out.
At least not in my experience. Your mileage may vary |
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"Why wouldn’t you take her into the men’s bathroom, OP, if she wasn’t yet ready to use the women’s unaccompanied?
Mrs TMN x
I do take her into the men’s, my partner cited the reasons of men having their penises out and not feeling comfortable with my daughter in that space with men at a urinal. I think also my daughter does talk a lot about wanting privacy (from others; she won’t go to the toilet in public without us) and yeah. For me I’m not gonna lie, it’s also the behaviour of men in the gents. Especially like if I go to the football like we did on Sunday, there’s men who are d*unk and being silly and it’s just not really the vibe but I have never thought about not using them until my partner expressed upset about it. I also think yeah like men piss on the floor, there are fewer cubicles and often there’s issues with the one or two there are. Again at the football there was only one working cubicle in our zone in the men’s. It was just a lot so I went to the disabled at half time. But again as I said, queuing for over 15 minutes with my ASD daughter and other ASD kids is go were all getting upset and overwhelmed. It’s just yeah.
As I said, I would still use the gents with my daughter and sometimes the disabled isn’t available so we just wait but yeah considering what I would do after my convo with the fiance. Thought I’d ask women for their opinion on how they’d feel.
Thanks, this really helps me to see where you’re coming from. That sounds like a really stressful time with the football toilets
I don’t think children seeing a penis in that situation is horrific. The human body is not overtly sexual and I think we have a very prudish attitude towards it in the UK. It’s us as adults who see it through a sexual lens rather than children. I’m aware this is an unpopular opinion and obviously I’m not dismissing those who have been harmed by sexual assault or abuse and have different experiences from me.
Not having enough cubicles in the men’s isn’t something I’d considered, cos it’s all cubicles in the women’s, although we usually have to queue for longer.
Personally I would have no problem with you bringing your daughter into the women’s but I was interested in the reasons you would avoid the men’s.
Bottom line is if your kid needs to go, they need to go. I think most people would be understanding of that.
Mrs TMN x"
Children shouldn't have to see that in any context |
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More places should have family friendly facilities but I wouldn’t have a problem with it as long as you’d checked first and announced ‘Girl Dad coming in’ or something like that. If someone took issue with it then I would use the disabled loos. |
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