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The worst sex!
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Not sure it was actually the sax or how it made me feel but I had sex with a guy once who made really weird noises like high pitched squeeling.
So it was really awkward and made me laugh and feel weird. |
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My ex. Complete waste of fucking time everytime. 2 years of that completely killed all my sexual interest. Every time I think of a meet, I think it could go like being with her. Get it over and done with so I can carry on watching TV |
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"Was with a girl years ago who closed her eyes and just laid there no interaction or anything from her
You mean she died
If he’s already inside her before she died is it ok to still finish? "
Quagmire says giggity. |
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"It was with a guy called Brightonsteve worse shag of my life
Boooooo BrightonSteve!
Was he even from Brighton? I think so but it doesn't really matter he was the shittest shag ever  "
Yeah? Have you tried fucking a wet lettuce?
Cheeky Mare! You woz gagging for it, darlin’
Best 23 mins of your life 
They don’t call me thrust weapon love missile for note ya know  |
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By *ochaManMan 4 weeks ago
The depths of your mind |
"I don't think I've ever had really bad sex.. x
You must pick your partners really well, almost a superpower in this day and age. 👏
I am quite picky to be fair "
I'm imagining a thorough selection process culminating in a single question: Is our meeting going to end up being mentioned on the worst sex thread on fab? |
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"It was with a guy called Brightonsteve worse shag of my life
Boooooo BrightonSteve!
Was he even from Brighton? I think so but it doesn't really matter he was the shittest shag ever
Yeah? Have you tried fucking a wet lettuce?
Cheeky Mare! You woz gagging for it, darlin’
Best 23 mins of your life
They don’t call me thrust weapon love missile for note ya know "
you mean the worst 23 seconds of my life |
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By *ochaManMan 4 weeks ago
The depths of your mind |
"It was with a guy called Brightonsteve worse shag of my life
Boooooo BrightonSteve!
Was he even from Brighton? I think so but it doesn't really matter he was the shittest shag ever
Yeah? Have you tried fucking a wet lettuce?
Cheeky Mare! You woz gagging for it, darlin’
Best 23 mins of your life
They don’t call me thrust weapon love missile for note ya know you mean the worst 23 seconds of my life"
Didn't expect to see time dilation in the fab forums... |
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Seriously I had a guy who was 10 years younger than me ( this is many years ago) no forplay and he shagged me for about five minutes got off and told me he was knackered. That is the worst shag ive ever had |
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"It was with a guy called Brightonsteve worse shag of my life
Boooooo BrightonSteve!
Was he even from Brighton? I think so but it doesn't really matter he was the shittest shag ever
Yeah? Have you tried fucking a wet lettuce?
Cheeky Mare! You woz gagging for it, darlin’
Best 23 mins of your life
They don’t call me thrust weapon love missile for note ya know you mean the worst 23 seconds of my life
Didn't expect to see time dilation in the fab forums... "
It wasn’t the only thing dilated |
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By *ochaManMan 4 weeks ago
The depths of your mind |
"It was with a guy called Brightonsteve worse shag of my life
Boooooo BrightonSteve!
Was he even from Brighton? I think so but it doesn't really matter he was the shittest shag ever
Yeah? Have you tried fucking a wet lettuce?
Cheeky Mare! You woz gagging for it, darlin’
Best 23 mins of your life
They don’t call me thrust weapon love missile for note ya know you mean the worst 23 seconds of my life
Didn't expect to see time dilation in the fab forums...
It wasn’t the only thing dilated "
Made me laugh, thank you 🤣 |
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"Seriously I had a guy who was 10 years younger than me ( this is many years ago) no forplay and he shagged me for about five minutes got off and told me he was knackered. That is the worst shag ive ever had"
He sounds like my hero 🙌🙌 |
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"Not sure it was actually the sax or how it made me feel but I had sex with a guy once who made really weird noises like high pitched squeeling.
So it was really awkward and made me laugh and feel weird."
Did you buy any chance have your high heel wedged in his scrotum? Might explain the high pitch 🤷🏽♂️ |
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Actually, for real, mine was a woman I worked with who didn’t think sex involved her doing anything - just lying there. I decided she had learnt what to do sexually by watching Upstairs, Downstairs. |
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"Was with a girl years ago who closed her eyes and just laid there no interaction or anything from her
You mean this isn’t what we’re meant to do? Damn! "
You can do that with me, just wait for me to roll over and fart... 😂 |
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"Was with a girl years ago who closed her eyes and just laid there no interaction or anything from her
You mean she died
If he’s already inside her before she died is it ok to still finish? "
It'd be rude not to, no? 🤔 |
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"Seriously I had a guy who was 10 years younger than me ( this is many years ago) no forplay and he shagged me for about five minutes got off and told me he was knackered. That is the worst shag ive ever had"
At least you got 5 mins of action, woman above got 2 mins and a fart 🤷🏽♂️ |
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"There was this one time where he plonked me on his willy, lay back and expected me to do the work. Never again  "
Sounds like you missed a bit in the job description when hiring him...
Pillow princess, you need to move your ass for me to enjoy... |
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By *ayBeeTV/TS 4 weeks ago
Winchester |
His (22) profile said 175cm but he was 160....anyway we did it bc he was handsome but he came in a minute and since then I feels like i had sex with a c***d 😫 I will never get it out of my mind!... |
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By *ochaManMan 4 weeks ago
The depths of your mind |
"His (22) profile said 175cm but he was 160....anyway we did it bc he was handsome but he came in a minute and since then I feels like i had sex with a c***d 😫 I will never get it out of my mind!..."
😬😬😬
I don't know why people lie about their height like it won't get found out in person. Highly odd. |
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Don't think I've had a bad sexual experience. A funny one was when a lady I fucked kept yelping like a small dog. I couldn't stop laughing, my mate was in the room next door, and I could hear him laughing like a drain. It was quite off-putting. I still see her around and she's known as chihuahua. |
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I actually havent had bad sex for years 😇
The one that stands out is from before i met my ex husband, the guy was very keen to tell me how much he loved going down on a woman
But apparently thought giving good oral was just licking from back to front in a slightly frantic manner 😳 |
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The last time it happened too quick. Yes it's no bs. We chatted and got on so well feeling a 'connection' brewing. Next minute, in bed. The sex was mechanical and served a purpose physically but afterwards? Meh post nut clarity off the scale. |
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By *ochaManMan 4 weeks ago
The depths of your mind |
"Don't think I've had a bad sexual experience. A funny one was when a lady I fucked kept yelping like a small dog. I couldn't stop laughing, my mate was in the room next door, and I could hear him laughing like a drain. It was quite off-putting. I still see her around and she's known as chihuahua. "
Every now and then a comment on the forum makes me laugh audibly, and your last phrase did it. Fucking hell 😂 |
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Having a 3 some with two men I was riding the young guys cock and sucking the older one🫣 they never moved I had to do it all, the only reaction was when they both shot their loads over me. They thought it was great I was not satisfied at all 😩 |
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
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Had on guy over, had given all the talk about how he was going to destroy my ass blah blah. When he turned up he had a small cock, came within a minute, pulled up his trousers and left. Had taken me over an hour to get ready. Worked out well though, had a guy message me on the off chance I was free and he gave me an amazing experience. |
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
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A meet on here twiddled my nips like they were cow udders and came in two secs of me giving him head done absolutely nothing to me at all 👎- the female half |
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"A guy talked all that and then jizzed on my boobs in 3 seconds in a carpark
I had to sacrifice a dress
I can laugh now but i was really fucked off "
That's what you get for living in a tax haven 😂 |
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There was a woman I was trying to get in to for a while. Flirting etc for a few weeks in the pub. One night she was locked out so I offered to break in, she said she could afford a new window or door so can she stay at mine. I was being a gentleman, gave her a top to sleep in. Then in bed she kissed me, so I played her made her cum then started fucking her but she just layed there letting out little moans and breathing heavy. I ended up banging her again in the morning but it was the same. I didn't do it again after. |
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By *ochaManMan 4 weeks ago
The depths of your mind |
"There was a woman I was trying to get in to for a while. Flirting etc for a few weeks in the pub. One night she was locked out so I offered to break in, she said she could afford a new window or door so can she stay at mine. I was being a gentleman, gave her a top to sleep in. Then in bed she kissed me, so I played her made her cum then started fucking her but she just layed there letting out little moans and breathing heavy. I ended up banging her again in the morning but it was the same. I didn't do it again after. "
I'd have tried a third time, just to make sure 😂 |
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Uni student I met a while back. Was new to the area and met her on a different site to this. Spoke for a while and asked me to come to near her uni halls, anyways I got a pizza in (as ya do) and she put a movie on, we hardly talked the whole time anyways one thing led to another and we ended up fondling and then fucked, was awkward cos she had no rhythm and just lied there dead awkwardly. After we were done we just rolled over and never spoke a word again till the next morning and I left. Was the most awkwardest of sexual experiences I have ever had in my life. Safe to say we never spoke again after that! |
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By *apinMan 4 weeks ago
London |
Long story short
I met a woman she spiked me I was rendered un conscious at hers while fucking her, I got thrown in the back of a cab (her husband's I think) and was left light in the pocket, two weeks later got a call from husband saying that she'd tried taking her own life and was only asking for me from her hospital bed.....
Needless to say I blocked number and stopped meeting from the internet for a while
GOOD TIMES |
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"There was a woman I was trying to get in to for a while. Flirting etc for a few weeks in the pub. One night she was locked out so I offered to break in, she said she could afford a new window or door so can she stay at mine. I was being a gentleman, gave her a top to sleep in. Then in bed she kissed me, so I played her made her cum then started fucking her but she just layed there letting out little moans and breathing heavy. I ended up banging her again in the morning but it was the same. I didn't do it again after.
I'd have tried a third time, just to make sure 😂"
Nah I got fed up of doing all the graft. Took ages to nut as well. She left with two loads lol she went to her mum's to get the spare key. See her a few weeks later but just chatted like normal. |
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My worst was a lady who regularly bragged about her head skills. So much it was her thing.
She got through bfs quickly (should have been a red flag)
When she was single I tried my arm and we ended up at mine, to go time.
I got a death grip hold mega pump, toothy to the point of damage bj, stroking like her life depends on it ,managed to slip her power grip and then punch me in the nuts. Hard... really hard. Like near vomit hard.
I had to beg her to stop.
She actually tried to sell her on being good..... |
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Had one a few weeks ago off facebook dating
Sending me pictures that must of been from 5 years before.
she was a BBW in her pics but when she turned up she was super BBW but I was like i don't like to discriminate and the tits where absolutely sublime.
She went on how she liked it rough and liked to have energetic sex
Could have fooled me,laid there like a sex doll with her eyes rolled back in her skull after 5 mins she came and then started to act weird.questioning my life and past ex's.
Well my dick didn't want to work after that it was like bro get rid now she's crazy
Made a excuse that work called me in for a emergency and needed to go
It was honestly so bad I would have rather have had post nut clarity after a wank |
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Not worst ever but 2 meets with single guys on here . If you looked at them both you’d think one was amazing and other wasn’t but so different
Guy 1 8-9 inch ripped etc
Guy 2 skinny older normal guy
Guy 1 boring guy 2 wow wow wow |
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By *orcsmatMan 4 weeks ago
Kidderminster |
Years ago, with a female friend. Loved her to bits but, sexually, we did not click. It was most unsatisfying.
Extremely attractive girl too, with superb legs and tits, but the loosest pussy I've ever had my cock in. |
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A guy I met off here had the smallest penis I have ever ever seen. Even when hard I'd say it would be lucky if it was 2 inches, so sadly the sex for me was just so awkward and so awful. Never saw him again |
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"A guy I met off here had the smallest penis I have ever ever seen. Even when hard I'd say it would be lucky if it was 2 inches, so sadly the sex for me was just so awkward and so awful. Never saw him again "
Wow. He was definitely wasted on you  |
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During a shibari session, I was having sex with a friend, and we wanted to try to make her have a vaginal orgasm and a clitoral orgasm one after the other. But at the moment she was about to come, her 8-year-old daughter walked into the bedroom with sandwiches because she heard her mom screaming and thought she was hungry.
Right as she stood in the doorway, with her mother holding my dick, I came directly toward the child. |
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"During a shibari session, I was having sex with a friend, and we wanted to try to make her have a vaginal orgasm and a clitoral orgasm one after the other. But at the moment she was about to come, her 8-year-old daughter walked into the bedroom with sandwiches because she heard her mom screaming and thought she was hungry.
Right as she stood in the doorway, with her mother holding my dick, I came directly toward the child."
🤣🤣🤣 That's so wrong and so funny |
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"A guy I met off here had the smallest penis I have ever ever seen. Even when hard I'd say it would be lucky if it was 2 inches, so sadly the sex for me was just so awkward and so awful. Never saw him again "
2 inches? How did you know he was erect?!  |
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i have to - no one else does. 