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After sex, what do you say to your partner
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In my best Jacob Marley impression “get out” |
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By (user no longer on site) 1 week ago
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I’ve got a habit of giving it a Macho Man Randy savage kind of ohhhhhhhhh yeaaaaahhhhh! |
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Dont worry uncle I wont tell anyone our secret 🤣 |
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Sorry. What was your name again? |
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I'm going to send you an email later, if you could just complete the attached performance survey and forward it onto me, that'd be great. |
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By *aven RedWoman 1 week ago
who knows, but it's not raining x |
We're not done x  |
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PLEASE don’t wipe it on the curtain |
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We're done here, please leave now. |
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By *sWyldWoman 1 week ago
Edinburgh |
If we can manage words I'm disappointed |
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In the words of Ace Venture " I'm sorry that's never happened to me before"
And then go again  |
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I like to make an impact with my partners usually by saying the wrong name as follows
Tell you what Marlene that was a lot better than last time..
it's about 4.8 seconds after that the impact usually arrives rite in the nuts..  |
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"Dont worry uncle I wont tell anyone our secret 🤣"
🤣🤣 |
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Not my finest work
Or sorry it’s my first time |
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By (user no longer on site) 1 week ago
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That was brilliant and the coffee is still hot.... result |
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Are you ever going to stop crying? |
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By *upra1Man 1 week ago
essex area |
Next time can you invite your best friend. |
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"Thank you 
Your welcome
🤣🤣🤣🤣"
Same time tomorrow |
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Sorry, what was your name again? |
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Best slide you back in the freezer, I swear your funerals next week. |
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"That’ll do pig, that’ll do"
I’m wondering if the back hand I would receive for this comment would be worth it
I think it might be |
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I like my eggs sunny side up, bacon done to a turn, and please spread butter on the toast. |
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By *oyoteUglyWoman 1 week ago
Somewhere dark and gloomy |
Nothing, I just either give a 👍👎🫳 |
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Right stepsister, lets get you out this washing machine. |
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Thanks Righty, Left Hand you’re up next |
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By (user no longer on site) 1 week ago
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I mean it goes without saying a hand shake and hi 5… 😂 |
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By (user no longer on site) 1 week ago
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Shit I left the oven on |
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Stay where you are, [name] wants their turn. |
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By (user no longer on site) 1 week ago
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…I don’t usually cry for 40 mins after |
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I only cum quick becuase the dog was licking my balls |
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By *r6golfMan 1 week ago
Scarborough |
Now get yourself of to school your gonna be late hahaha |
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[Removed by poster at 14/04/26 15:57:31] |
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Lets hand a beer glass round for a collection from everyone. |
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"Now get yourself of to school your gonna be late hahaha "
And I though my humour was dark 🤣🤣 |
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“I swear, it’s usually bigger.. “
“It’s not you, I’ve had too much to drink”
“It slipped”
“Please don’t tell my therapist about this” |
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[Removed by poster at 14/04/26 16:12:42] |
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What do you mean no one’s ever used those two fingers before … |
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By *ash918Man 1 week ago
Basingstoke |
Make sure u hold it in and I’ll make a run for the towel 😂 |
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Send your mum in on your way out.
The mr |
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Now get off and don't snore. Night |
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Pass me some loo roll quickly so it doesn’t go all over the newly washed bed sheet. |
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go on off you pop the lawn won't mo itself. |
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That egg should be boiled by now.   |
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Usually a fuck yeah.....and then I need a wee. |
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By *WB85Man 1 week ago
Staffordshire |
Usually just little noises that make it clear I've enjoyed myself whilst spooning. |
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Your sister is much better.
(Then wait for your nutz to be crushed.) |
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By *aked beachMan 1 week ago
small cave, behind the big cave. |
One sugar in mine, and egg and chips while you’re at it……well go on then |
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To my regular fwb. "You were awesome as always. If I rest a bit....I'm good to go again" 😏😈 |
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Was that a good 30 seconds for you ? |
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They don't usually wake up and if they do, "surprise!" |
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Shall we turn the camera off now? |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 1 week ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
For the last time, you can't have my autograph. Have a jelly baby, instead |
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"For the last time, you can't have my autograph. Have a jelly baby, instead "
Eh, up, Tina me loove, wipe up mess, fur us, will ya, nay, chick, use t’tongue like.
*Nottingham accent* |
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By *andsCouple 1 week ago
Edin |
Do you want me to leave the shower running ? |
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Right then, time to turn you into a nice big fruit salad for the family dinner. |
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Well !! Was he as good as his verifications made out. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 1 week ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"For the last time, you can't have my autograph. Have a jelly baby, instead
Eh, up, Tina me loove, wipe up mess, fur us, will ya, nay, chick, use t’tongue like.
*Nottingham accent*"
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"For the last time, you can't have my autograph. Have a jelly baby, instead
Eh, up, Tina me loove, wipe up mess, fur us, will ya, nay, chick, use t’tongue like.
*Nottingham accent*
"
Feckin’ spooky, ain’t it? |
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Thank you very much?
After all manners cost nothing |
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"Usually a fuck yeah.....and then I need a wee. "
I always need a wee, and some snacks.
An insatiable need for beige snacky snax. |
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"Usually a fuck yeah.....and then I need a wee.
I always need a wee, and some snacks.
An insatiable need for beige snacky snax. "
Sounds like an all round great time |
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"Next "
🤣🤣 next person or position?? |
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By *oxy-RedWoman 1 week ago
pink panther territory |
"Next 🤣🤣 next person or position?? "
Position I'm a 1 on 1 gal lol |
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"That was classic intercourse "
Back of the net (a-ha) |
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"That was classic intercourse "
. AHA !! CLASSIC line !!! |
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Your turn to sleep on the wet patch  |
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It depends but thanks will be in there somewhere but hopefully we've not finished everything |
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Better zip up, your bus stop is the next one... |
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I know right, it’s always the quiet ones |
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By *htcMan 7 days ago
MK |
Me round 2?.
Wife I'm going to bed. |
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Finally.....the Rock....has come back....home. |
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Shaaaaaaazaaaaammm!
Jokes I usually just cry (again jokes) |
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A cuddle and a kiss, followed by a search for snacks! |
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I've been hallucinating again, haven't I. Shouldn't have stopped taking the meds. |
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Hello hunny, are you there? Yes, I have been trying to phone you for the past few hours but I think my phone is on the blink… bad signal maybe? |
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Been that long since we last had sex so I can’t remember !!! |
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hold still while I get the hamster. out |
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'Do want me to pull the dildo out of your arse or are you OK doing it?' |
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By *upra1Man 4 days ago
essex area |
Your husband gives better blow jobs |
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By *aughty50sCouple 4 days ago
Yorkshire - but we travel a lot |
Same time again tomorrow?! |
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Ready for round 2? Normally followed by fuck off or let me recover from the first |
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[Removed by poster at 18/04/26 19:46:41] |
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Have you got a (female) friend who fancies a threesome with us? |
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If hes done his job right I cant say anything coherent 🤷♀️ |
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By *olgateMan 4 days ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
Pay me cash |
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By *oys99Man 4 days ago
Grimsby |
It would save us a load of batteries if we got a mains one !! |
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By *oys99Man 4 days ago
Grimsby |
Just remembered I have to trim the hedge tomorrow. |
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By *oxy-RedWoman 4 days ago
pink panther territory |
You can feck off now |
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Sorry it's been awhile, shall I grab the wand? |
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Ask them to rate me on trip advisor  |
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By *oys99Man 4 days ago
Grimsby |
Try jumping up and down, it must be in there somewhere !! |
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Don’t wake hubby up on your way out |
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"Don’t wake hubby up on your way out "
haha classic xx
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So do you want the credit card now or In the morning ? 😂😂 |
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Normally breathless so no speech available lool |
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