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Protect yourself
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By *vaRoseWoman 2 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
3 things about equidistant to me right now
A small chihuahua - sounds fierce, but is really a whimp, might be useful for a distraction
A PlayStation controller - I guess I could bash the intruder with it
A bottle of perfume - straight to the eyes? |
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"3 things about equidistant to me right now
A small chihuahua - sounds fierce, but is really a whimp, might be useful for a distraction
A PlayStation controller - I guess I could bash the intruder with it
A bottle of perfume - straight to the eyes? "
It’s times like this you could do with princess donut and mongo |
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By *vaRoseWoman 2 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"3 things about equidistant to me right now
A small chihuahua - sounds fierce, but is really a whimp, might be useful for a distraction
A PlayStation controller - I guess I could bash the intruder with it
A bottle of perfume - straight to the eyes?
It’s times like this you could do with princess donut and mongo"
I have a parrot…. Kind of a mongo substitute
Oh and not far from the bed is a flogger and 2 daggers.
I could just make it very kinky and they’ll get uncomfortable and leave 🤣 |
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"3 things about equidistant to me right now
A small chihuahua - sounds fierce, but is really a whimp, might be useful for a distraction
A PlayStation controller - I guess I could bash the intruder with it
A bottle of perfume - straight to the eyes?
It’s times like this you could do with princess donut and mongo
I have a parrot…. Kind of a mongo substitute
Oh and not far from the bed is a flogger and 2 daggers.
I could just make it very kinky and they’ll get uncomfortable and leave 🤣"
Haha love it! |
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"A burglar has just broken in and you need to use the nearest thing next to you to protect yourself.
What is it?"
Why would you need to protect yourself? I’m guessing they’d be after something of value. You’d be safe. Unless you’re covered in diamonds and gold leaf.. 😉
I have four cameras monitoring my house so good luck getting inside. |
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By *akat158Couple 1 week ago
Nottinghamshire |
My wife.
I mean, I know she's small, but I'm uncertain if I could wield her like a floppy baseball bat.
If it's the other direction, then it'd be a piggy bank. I could bonk them over the head with it, but it took me ages to paint at a pottery cafe and cost lots of money.
So it looks like I'll be trying to swing the human instead. |
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"My EBT. He looks fierce, but would bounce happily around the burglar, tail wagging ferociously."
I adore EBTs, they are the best dogs ever and I'm so jealous!
For me, it would be the cat. Might as well not bother, he'll only go and ask for loves  |
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"My wife.
I mean, I know she's small, but I'm uncertain if I could wield her like a floppy baseball bat.
If it's the other direction, then it'd be a piggy bank. I could bonk them over the head with it, but it took me ages to paint at a pottery cafe and cost lots of money.
So it looks like I'll be trying to swing the human instead."
This made me lol. |
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