FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Friends with benefits.
Friends with benefits.
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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They only work if you both have the mindset you don't want to and couldn't date each other. It's natural to form a bond with someone you are sleeping with and spending time with regularly but if you can't detach, I wouldn't recommend it. |
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I think you have to actually be friends. There has to be a connection. But it’s a balance between getting too attached and wanting more.
Being open and honest helps keep everyone one the same page. If you want the same thing it’s fine! |
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By *vaRoseWoman 11 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
ANY type of relationship can go wrong, that’s the first thing. Families fall out, friendships break up, neighbours become hostile… it doesn’t have to be a sexual partner in order for a relationship to go sour.
If feelings develop then you need to be honest with each other, and hope you’re on the same page. Things go wrong when there’s a mismatch. Feelings aren’t the enemy.
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I’ve always had feelings for the people I’ve met long term. Feelings don’t scare me though. I guess it depends what type of person you are. I know I don’t and never will want a proper relationship. Feelings seem so taboo on here. It’s natural! |
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By *WB85Man 11 weeks ago
Staffordshire |
They do go wrong. It happened to me earlier this year.
Feelings can happen, but as long as everyone is clear, open and able to communicate i dont see it as a negative.
I'm still left scratching my head wondering what happened changed with my last friend.
She wanted exclusive, I did exclusive. Turns out she wasn't as exclusive as she suggested.
I just wish people could be honest....its much easier to navigate that way. |
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I still have a FWB relationship with 2 of my exs. They dont know about each other but all 3 of us understand the situation. For example when they have met someone in the past to try a relationship I wish them all the best. Then when it hasnt worked out we have carried on. So far it is working. Been going on about a year so far |
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I generally just try and roll with the flo, being honest with each other at all times and respect each others wishes is key. As is having a good level of communication and understanding, which whilst staying the obvious could be said about almost anything and everything to be honest. I find, it's only when we listen but don't necessarily understand fully is when things can become difficult. Perception vs. perspective kinda thing. |
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By *AYENCouple 11 weeks ago
Lincolnshire |
I think it's inevitable that feelings develop but at a certain age you realise that they're based on projection rather than reality.
Enjoy the feelings, enjoy the excitement, just don't get too caught up in them. |
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"I think it's inevitable that feelings develop but at a certain age you realise that they're based on projection rather than reality.
Enjoy the feelings, enjoy the excitement, just don't get too caught up in them. "
Take it with a pinch of salt as they say! |
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I’ve done it a few times
The first one, I stopped the benefits because she was catching feelings. But still friends,
The second time, she felt I was being possessive and over-protective (I feel I was acting like a friend, wanting to know she was safe), when she went on dates with other men, and she ended it. |
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By *eliWoman 11 weeks ago
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Oh no not the dreaded feelings. 😮
Feelings happen. Things go wrong all the time, for so many reasons. How they're handled, the level of communication - those are the things that matter. And trying to avoid it playing out on the forums. :D
I like feelings. The excitement, the giddy stage. Developing feelings doesn't mean you're sailing off in to the sunset or have to go up the relationship escalator.
Sometimes that means people walking away. It doesn't mean that feelings are bad.
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I don't entertain any type of sexual friendship without feelings. That doesn't mean it's a form of limerence but it's certainly a deep-rooted emotional connection and empathy. For me it's not just about the sex but it transcends the social aspects too. Feelings matter to me.
Do they ever go wrong? In my experience, no. They just fizzle out, mostly because of the vast distances between us or change in personal circumstances or we're no longer looking for the same thing. |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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Playing with my friend is how we started to get into this - initial bi experiences turned into threesomes turned into solo play.
She has since married and committed to that but still great friends |
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I don't think it's a bad thing to have feelings I mean,you have to like someone to want to spend time with them so enjoying their company is important to me.
I think they can go wrong when those feeling display as jealousy or if they become where one person is not having fun anymore.
Lots of communication and being on the same page is key. |
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My personal opinion is that they are just a holding card for a relationship.
“You’ll do until my person comes along”
Or
“You could be my person, but I’m afraid to commit to that idea so let’s call our relationship something else”
Essentially they are relationships for those with commitment issues. Be that unwilling to commit or unable to commit. |
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By *CExeCouple 11 weeks ago
Hong-Kong/Exeter |
Every time I've (male half) had an fb, they've caught feelings. I'm quite an emotionally supportive person which seems to be the underlying cause. I've had 4 fbs, where it has been purely a sexual relationship, where the L word has come out while in bed.
I think men find it far easier to class sex as simply a physical act, while women are more likely to attach an emotional meaning to it.
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"Every time I've (male half) had an fb, they've caught feelings. I'm quite an emotionally supportive person which seems to be the underlying cause. I've had 4 fbs, where it has been purely a sexual relationship, where the L word has come out while in bed.
I think men find it far easier to class sex as simply a physical act, while women are more likely to attach an emotional meaning to it.
"
Not all women  |
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"Friend with benefits situations - someone you meet regularly and enjoy spending time with not just sexually but socially too.
Do they ever go wrong?! What if feelings start appearing?!"
What's the issue with feelings? If they are a friend you have feelings for them.
CS Lewis described four types of love, namely:
* Storge (Affection) - love found in families
* Philia (Friendship) - based on shared interests
* Eros (Romance) - passionate, romantic
* Agape (Charity) - unconditional, selfless
I can have all of those for fwbs (some ex fwbs have moved into just the friendship stage).
Really OP, it's not so much the feelings but the expectations and aspirations for that friendship. Can't be sure, but I think my last one ended cos she wanted more, greater commitment, than I could, or would, give her. |
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It's a risk. It happens sometimes as you spend more time together and realise you want more or they want more. Proximity, connection, shared memories and time all add up to intense feelings. Or at least they can for some.
Others can separate their feelings and understand it's sex and friendship, not a relationship. Each to their own. |
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Key to this for me is to discuss this honestly before you get any benefit. Yeah it’s not foolproof but it does help when you make it clear you are not looking for a relationship and just the fun. Company as a friend |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"Friend with benefits situations - someone you meet regularly and enjoy spending time with not just sexually but socially too.
Do they ever go wrong?! What if feelings start appearing?!"
I had one relationship start this way. It’s a shame because we were good friends and now don’t talk |
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For me I absolutely have feelings for my friends with benefits he's very much aware of it. He does for me to..but neither of us wants more than friends and sex. We talk and have an amazing bond sex is a bonus but we don't always have it every time he's over. We originally started out as cuddle buddies |
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"I’ve always had feelings for the people I’ve met long term. Feelings don’t scare me though. I guess it depends what type of person you are. I know I don’t and never will want a proper relationship. Feelings seem so taboo on here. It’s natural!"
This. This. This. ⬆️ 👌🏻 ✅
I love my female, heterosexual friends. Love them fiercely. Does this mean I want them to become lesbian/bisexual, leave their partners, come to me, go down on one knee and present me with a ring and marry me? NO!
Same applies to my FWB. I adore him. And I bask in those feelings. They are natural like Nora says and happy ones. But that doesn’t mean I MUST have a relationship and live together, etc. i think that somehow that would remove the magic from it all! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
People are so scared of feelings. I get ALL the feelings. All the time. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be if I were detached/didn’t wear my heart on my sleeve. Don’t think I’d like it… 🎀🩷 |
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"I’ve always had feelings for the people I’ve met long term. Feelings don’t scare me though. I guess it depends what type of person you are. I know I don’t and never will want a proper relationship. Feelings seem so taboo on here. It’s natural!"
This
I have been seeing my FWB for 15 years now and I'm not afraid to tell him how much he means to me, just as he isn't afraid to say the same to me but I don't want to live with him or be in a relationship as we both have our very fulfilled lives which neither of us wishes to disrupt or complicate so the situation works for us
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I've only ever had one fwb and we've known each other 7 or 8 years now.
She is my best friend and that friendship is one of the benefits.
If I didn't have feelings for her we wouldn't be together after so long.
We are completely open and honest with each other about our needs and desires and I care about her just about as much as it's possible to care about someone without being in an actual relationship.
I could never have a FB as I don't have sex just for the sake of it and I would have nothing in common with any woman who saw my friendship as purely transactional.
As others have already said I put as much emphasis on the F as I do on the B and as such I wouldn't be much of a friend if I didn't have feelings for her. |
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Totally depends. Friends care about each other just like you should care about someone in your life.
I don’t think I’d want to ruin a good friendship by complicating it with sex, historically someone always catches the feels.
But also, I (personally) don’t want the benefits if someone disregards me at all other times. It’s kinda heart wrenching and then you are just an animated flesh light to them…. Kinda ick  |
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I have a fwb who i get on with so well. Sex is fantastic and we chat all the time and have plenty of laughs. He is married so I know straight away it could never go anywhere. Even if he was single my life is too complicated for a relationship. However to say I don't feel something for him would be an understatement. Not saying I love the bloke...but still. This is why I think I need to sleep with more than 1 person  |
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"That just sounds like the early stages of a relationship. If you're meeting and not fucking every time then You're no longer in a friend's with benefits situation and you should just date already "
There are more to the benefits than just sex |
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By *lirtyFilthWoman 11 weeks ago
Troublesville suburb of Barnstaple |
"I've only ever had one fwb and we've known each other 7 or 8 years now.
She is my best friend and that friendship is one of the benefits.
If I didn't have feelings for her we wouldn't be together after so long.
We are completely open and honest with each other about our needs and desires and I care about her just about as much as it's possible to care about someone without being in an actual relationship.
I could never have a FB as I don't have sex just for the sake of it and I would have nothing in common with any woman who saw my friendship as purely transactional.
As others have already said I put as much emphasis on the F as I do on the B and as such I wouldn't be much of a friend if I didn't have feelings for her. "
Thank you. This makes my heart sing. Perfection. Some believe that this isn’t a possible scenario. My heart will always care for those I’m with. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t and I quite like me as I am. |
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"That just sounds like the early stages of a relationship. If you're meeting and not fucking every time then You're no longer in a friend's with benefits situation and you should just date already
There are more to the benefits than just sex"
Like what?
Isn't that what a relationship is? |
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"Friend with benefits situations - someone you meet regularly and enjoy spending time with not just sexually but socially too.
Do they ever go wrong?! What if feelings start appearing?!"
Been there...fwb became my partner for 5 years. We split and I came back on Fab. Still have the occasional sex |
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The original thread states friends with benefits and then changes it to friends going out socially for drinks and ‘stuff’ - that is a full on relationship. I’m looking for a FWB - someone I can chat with online a few times a week and meet up a couple of times a month for something I’m not getting in life - Sex. I know this is a swingers site, but I am sure a lot of people on here have busy life’s, or in relationships that don’t give them everything they want/need in life. This is my reason for being here, looking for a FWB without the feel of a Full on relationship. Any ladies looking for the same, please come say hi 👋 x |
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"That just sounds like the early stages of a relationship. If you're meeting and not fucking every time then You're no longer in a friend's with benefits situation and you should just date already "
You obviously don't understand the dynamic.
Fwb's don't just meet to fuck.
In most cases they have no interest in dating or a relationship beyond their friendship and they also have the option of fucking without it affecting their friendship.
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"The original thread states friends with benefits and then changes it to friends going out socially for drinks and ‘stuff’ - that is a full on relationship. I’m looking for a FWB - someone I can chat with online a few times a week and meet up a couple of times a month for something I’m not getting in life - Sex. I know this is a swingers site, but I am sure a lot of people on here have busy life’s, or in relationships that don’t give them everything they want/need in life. This is my reason for being here, looking for a FWB without the feel of a Full on relationship. Any ladies looking for the same, please come say hi 👋 x "
Thats more of a fuck buddy i would say  |
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By *ingless QueenWoman 11 weeks ago
The North where we do what we want |
"Every time I've (male half) had an fb, they've caught feelings. I'm quite an emotionally supportive person which seems to be the underlying cause. I've had 4 fbs, where it has been purely a sexual relationship, where the L word has come out while in bed.
I think men find it far easier to class sex as simply a physical act, while women are more likely to attach an emotional meaning to it.
Not all women "
Ick 🤢 |
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"That just sounds like the early stages of a relationship. If you're meeting and not fucking every time then You're no longer in a friend's with benefits situation and you should just date already
You obviously don't understand the dynamic.
Fwb's don't just meet to fuck.
In most cases they have no interest in dating or a relationship beyond their friendship and they also have the option of fucking without it affecting their friendship.
"
To me it just sounds like someone who's been thrown in the friend zone and isn't half bad in bed so they keep them around.
Seems like one side wants more and the other just wants the bits they want when they have nothing better to do.
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"Friend with benefits situations - someone you meet regularly and enjoy spending time with not just sexually but socially too.
Do they ever go wrong?! What if feelings start appearing?!"
We’ve had a few people in our life over the years and they do get complicated sometimes.
I think as long you’re all honest with each other and most importantly with yourself then it’s all good.
It’s dishonesty that ruins these kinds of relationships. |
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"That just sounds like the early stages of a relationship. If you're meeting and not fucking every time then You're no longer in a friend's with benefits situation and you should just date already
You obviously don't understand the dynamic.
Fwb's don't just meet to fuck.
In most cases they have no interest in dating or a relationship beyond their friendship and they also have the option of fucking without it affecting their friendship.
To me it just sounds like someone who's been thrown in the friend zone and isn't half bad in bed so they keep them around.
Seems like one side wants more and the other just wants the bits they want when they have nothing better to do.
"
You do know that friendship is a two way street don't you?
Friends with benefits is plural and that means both parties enjoy the friendship and the benefits.
Not quite sure why you think it's all one sided? |
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By *WB85Man 11 weeks ago
Staffordshire |
I love how peoples definition of the scenario can vary so much.
I used to meet a lady a couple of times a month. One meet was sexual and the other was always a social. Whether it be a walk and lunch, or a meal and drinks. The only limit was our mindsets.
It's definitely more than sex I'm looking for.
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To be honest I’m not that bothered what it’s called but I want more than sex and less than a proper relationship. Nobody will be meeting my kids or family or coming to my house but we have fun. Whatever the fuck that’s called |
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By *ike341Man 11 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"I only ever keep it to the bedroom if I have a regular person.
I don't need to go out with them, I think it just creates expectations within people.
"
This. When they start asking me over to cuddle on the sofa and watch a film, it's time to cool it. |
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"That just sounds like the early stages of a relationship. If you're meeting and not fucking every time then You're no longer in a friend's with benefits situation and you should just date already
There are more to the benefits than just sex
Like what?
Isn't that what a relationship is?"
By your reasoning I'm then in a relationship with my vanilla friends too.... |
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"That just sounds like the early stages of a relationship. If you're meeting and not fucking every time then You're no longer in a friend's with benefits situation and you should just date already
There are more to the benefits than just sex
Like what?
Isn't that what a relationship is?
By your reasoning I'm then in a relationship with my vanilla friends too...."
Exactly 🤷♂️ |
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"Friend with benefits situations - someone you meet regularly and enjoy spending time with not just sexually but socially too.
Do they ever go wrong?! What if feelings start appearing?!"
Nearly every fwb situation I've had has went wrong, almost always because of feelings/jealousy |
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"Friend with benefits situations - someone you meet regularly and enjoy spending time with not just sexually but socially too.
Do they ever go wrong?! What if feelings start appearing?!
Nearly every fwb situation I've had has went wrong, almost always because of feelings/jealousy "
That’s a shame as when they work they work |
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These scenarios rely massively on clear communication.
Feelings are bound to happen, just he an adult and talk about it.
I know people say they don't do the social aspect and thats fine. It doesn't make it wrong for others that are open to it though.
I'm always looking for people for both myself and Mr.
Mrs. |
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Whenever someone we're talking to defines "friend with benefits" it sounds a lot like a relationship 🙃 it obviously doesn't mean that to everyone, but I can't help feel that it's often used as a more acceptable way to say they want something that could develop into a relationship.
We find it best to get that defined early, if it comes up. |
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"Whenever someone we're talking to defines "friend with benefits" it sounds a lot like a relationship 🙃 it obviously doesn't mean that to everyone, but I can't help feel that it's often used as a more acceptable way to say they want something that could develop into a relationship.
We find it best to get that defined early, if it comes up."
The modern definition from what I can tell is that they want everything that a relationship offers with the ability to fuck around with other people. |
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"Whenever someone we're talking to defines "friend with benefits" it sounds a lot like a relationship 🙃 it obviously doesn't mean that to everyone, but I can't help feel that it's often used as a more acceptable way to say they want something that could develop into a relationship.
We find it best to get that defined early, if it comes up.
The modern definition from what I can tell is that they want everything that a relationship offers with the ability to fuck around with other people. "
God no. I don’t do sharing |
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"Whenever someone we're talking to defines "friend with benefits" it sounds a lot like a relationship 🙃 it obviously doesn't mean that to everyone, but I can't help feel that it's often used as a more acceptable way to say they want something that could develop into a relationship.
We find it best to get that defined early, if it comes up.
The modern definition from what I can tell is that they want everything that a relationship offers with the ability to fuck around with other people.
God no. I don’t do sharing "
But that's what you're doing if you have a fwbs. They're not exclusive to you. They're obviously getting it elsewhere too. So you are sharing |
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"Whenever someone we're talking to defines "friend with benefits" it sounds a lot like a relationship 🙃 it obviously doesn't mean that to everyone, but I can't help feel that it's often used as a more acceptable way to say they want something that could develop into a relationship.
We find it best to get that defined early, if it comes up.
The modern definition from what I can tell is that they want everything that a relationship offers with the ability to fuck around with other people.
God no. I don’t do sharing
But that's what you're doing if you have a fwbs. They're not exclusive to you. They're obviously getting it elsewhere too. So you are sharing "
But they have been though. I have had exclusive fwbs on here.
I’m probably not a great example as I’m really not very fab ish |
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"Whenever someone we're talking to defines "friend with benefits" it sounds a lot like a relationship 🙃 it obviously doesn't mean that to everyone, but I can't help feel that it's often used as a more acceptable way to say they want something that could develop into a relationship.
We find it best to get that defined early, if it comes up.
The modern definition from what I can tell is that they want everything that a relationship offers with the ability to fuck around with other people. "
You say that like it's a bad thing?
A relationship to me, feels more like its a traditional thing, meet family, buy matching china, live together, kids, etc.
Friends with benefits feels like, none of that boring we've got to go to aunt bla blas house for her 95th birthday or whatever. Just the fun sex bit (with occasional things that aren't sex) |
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"Yes they can go wrong for all sorts of reasons. Developing feelings is natural. How you deal with it and communicate between yourselves means it doesn't have to be a disaster. "
Correct connection communication on all levels
If your jealous in any way it won’t work |
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"Whenever someone we're talking to defines "friend with benefits" it sounds a lot like a relationship 🙃 it obviously doesn't mean that to everyone, but I can't help feel that it's often used as a more acceptable way to say they want something that could develop into a relationship.
We find it best to get that defined early, if it comes up.
The modern definition from what I can tell is that they want everything that a relationship offers with the ability to fuck around with other people.
God no. I don’t do sharing "
I think once you have obligations to each other, an example being monogamy, I'd call that "a relationship". Of course it can also be a relationship with other obligations, but not monogamy.
But on the other hand I don't really think it matters all that much except to know that what it means is wildly different from person to person. Even "friend" isn't all that well defined, the way some people describe their relationships with their friends is entirely alien to me (and sometimes sounds kinda horrible!). |
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"Whenever someone we're talking to defines "friend with benefits" it sounds a lot like a relationship 🙃 it obviously doesn't mean that to everyone, but I can't help feel that it's often used as a more acceptable way to say they want something that could develop into a relationship.
We find it best to get that defined early, if it comes up.
The modern definition from what I can tell is that they want everything that a relationship offers with the ability to fuck around with other people.
God no. I don’t do sharing
I think once you have obligations to each other, an example being monogamy, I'd call that "a relationship". Of course it can also be a relationship with other obligations, but not monogamy.
But on the other hand I don't really think it matters all that much except to know that what it means is wildly different from person to person. Even "friend" isn't all that well defined, the way some people describe their relationships with their friends is entirely alien to me (and sometimes sounds kinda horrible!). "
Maybe a relationship of sorts. I see it more as a bubble. We meet every now and then then go back to our normal lives. The two never mix.
Hard to explain but it’s worked for me for 10 years or so. I love my life and I don’t want anyone else permanently in it! Like I said I dunno what it’s called and I’m really not that bothered 🤣 |
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"I generally avoid guys who claim they're looking for a fwb as I think what they're looking for is readily available sex all on their terms and to be able to extricate themselves when they decide "
That’s not the case for me at all mine lives over 300 miles away so has to be planned |
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"Maybe a relationship of sorts. I see it more as a bubble. We meet every now and then then go back to our normal lives. The two never mix.
Hard to explain but it’s worked for me for 10 years or so. I love my life and I don’t want anyone else permanently in it! Like I said I dunno what it’s called and I’m really not that bothered 🤣"
Sounds like you have a mistress |
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"Yes they can go wrong for all sorts of reasons. Developing feelings is natural. How you deal with it and communicate between yourselves means it doesn't have to be a disaster.
Correct connection communication on all levels
If your jealous in any way it won’t work "
Definitely works better if both parties are meeting other people. |
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"Yes they can go wrong for all sorts of reasons. Developing feelings is natural. How you deal with it and communicate between yourselves means it doesn't have to be a disaster.
Correct connection communication on all levels
If your jealous in any way it won’t work
Definitely works better if both parties are meeting other people."
Mines married |
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"Yes they can go wrong for all sorts of reasons. Developing feelings is natural. How you deal with it and communicate between yourselves means it doesn't have to be a disaster.
Correct connection communication on all levels
If your jealous in any way it won’t work
Definitely works better if both parties are meeting other people.
Mines married "
Mine are all single....I'd feel uncomfortable if they were married. |
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"Friend with benefits situations - someone you meet regularly and enjoy spending time with not just sexually but socially too.
Do they ever go wrong?! What if feelings start appearing?!"
I've got a FWB/BF situation that's been ongoing for 18mths, we meet at least once a month but don't do the social stuff, I have a husband and mates for that kind of thing
I meet the BF, we spend the day together and we both go home |
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"Maybe a relationship of sorts. I see it more as a bubble. We meet every now and then then go back to our normal lives. The two never mix.
Hard to explain but it’s worked for me for 10 years or so. I love my life and I don’t want anyone else permanently in it! Like I said I dunno what it’s called and I’m really not that bothered 🤣
Sounds like you have a mistress "
A mistress? |
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"Yes they can go wrong for all sorts of reasons. Developing feelings is natural. How you deal with it and communicate between yourselves means it doesn't have to be a disaster.
Correct connection communication on all levels
If your jealous in any way it won’t work
Definitely works better if both parties are meeting other people.
Mines married
Mine are all single....I'd feel uncomfortable if they were married."
Why everyone’s happy |
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By *tsazzMan 11 weeks ago
Manchester |
"ANY type of relationship can go wrong, that’s the first thing. Families fall out, friendships break up, neighbours become hostile… it doesn’t have to be a sexual partner in order for a relationship to go sour.
If feelings develop then you need to be honest with each other, and hope you’re on the same page. Things go wrong when there’s a mismatch. Feelings aren’t the enemy.
"
I don’t think it can be put better than this. Though, I will add to the ‘Feelings aren’t the enemy’ bit; the enemy is not communicating throughout. |
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"Yes they can go wrong for all sorts of reasons. Developing feelings is natural. How you deal with it and communicate between yourselves means it doesn't have to be a disaster.
Correct connection communication on all levels
If your jealous in any way it won’t work
Definitely works better if both parties are meeting other people.
Mines married
Mine are all single....I'd feel uncomfortable if they were married.
Why everyone’s happy "
Which is great but I know I'd avoid the married ones |
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"Whenever someone we're talking to defines "friend with benefits" it sounds a lot like a relationship 🙃 it obviously doesn't mean that to everyone, but I can't help feel that it's often used as a more acceptable way to say they want something that could develop into a relationship.
We find it best to get that defined early, if it comes up.
The modern definition from what I can tell is that they want everything that a relationship offers with the ability to fuck around with other people.
God no. I don’t do sharing
I think once you have obligations to each other, an example being monogamy, I'd call that "a relationship". Of course it can also be a relationship with other obligations, but not monogamy.
But on the other hand I don't really think it matters all that much except to know that what it means is wildly different from person to person. Even "friend" isn't all that well defined, the way some people describe their relationships with their friends is entirely alien to me (and sometimes sounds kinda horrible!).
Maybe a relationship of sorts. I see it more as a bubble. We meet every now and then then go back to our normal lives. The two never mix.
Hard to explain but it’s worked for me for 10 years or so. I love my life and I don’t want anyone else permanently in it! Like I said I dunno what it’s called and I’m really not that bothered 🤣"
Just to add it’s totally different with women. I meet women as one offs and I don’t need that same connection. I’ve met more women than men on here I think. I don’t deny I’m a bit odd and picky and a pain in the arse 🤣 |
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"Friend with benefits situations - someone you meet regularly and enjoy spending time with not just sexually but socially too.
Do they ever go wrong?! What if feelings start appearing?!
I've got a FWB/BF situation that's been ongoing for 18mths, we meet at least once a month but don't do the social stuff, I have a husband and mates for that kind of thing
I meet the BF, we spend the day together and we both go home "
Sounds like a FB situation more than a FWB |
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"To be honest I’m not that bothered what it’s called but I want more than sex and less than a proper relationship. Nobody will be meeting my kids or family or coming to my house but we have fun. Whatever the fuck that’s called "
I would agree with this.
In all my years here I've never knowingly used the terms FB or FWB, unless it's a reluctant last resort when a suitable synonym escapes me. I detest labels because they come across as 'absolutes'.
I don't bother with terminologies or descriptives because whatever arrangement I have with my 'partner' is defined by the 'actions' and the 'things' that I do with them: sex, intimacy, socialising, libations, dining, cultural stuff or just hanging out. They have no meaning without those intrinsic deep-rooted feelings and emotions. It's a mutual thing, benefitting both people, reciprocal, a counterpoint between our inner personal lives and our outwardly Fab lives. |
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"To be honest I’m not that bothered what it’s called but I want more than sex and less than a proper relationship. Nobody will be meeting my kids or family or coming to my house but we have fun. Whatever the fuck that’s called
I would agree with this.
In all my years here I've never knowingly used the terms FB or FWB, unless it's a reluctant last resort when a suitable synonym escapes me. I detest labels because they come across as 'absolutes'.
I don't bother with terminologies or descriptives because whatever arrangement I have with my 'partner' is defined by the 'actions' and the 'things' that I do with them: sex, intimacy, socialising, libations, dining, cultural stuff or just hanging out. They have no meaning without those intrinsic deep-rooted feelings and emotions. It's a mutual thing, benefitting both people, reciprocal, a counterpoint between our inner personal lives and our outwardly Fab lives."
I knew you’d get it nero! |
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By *lirtyFilthWoman 11 weeks ago
Troublesville suburb of Barnstaple |
"To be honest I’m not that bothered what it’s called but I want more than sex and less than a proper relationship. Nobody will be meeting my kids or family or coming to my house but we have fun. Whatever the fuck that’s called
I would agree with this.
In all my years here I've never knowingly used the terms FB or FWB, unless it's a reluctant last resort when a suitable synonym escapes me. I detest labels because they come across as 'absolutes'.
I don't bother with terminologies or descriptives because whatever arrangement I have with my 'partner' is defined by the 'actions' and the 'things' that I do with them: sex, intimacy, socialising, libations, dining, cultural stuff or just hanging out. They have no meaning without those intrinsic deep-rooted feelings and emotions. It's a mutual thing, benefitting both people, reciprocal, a counterpoint between our inner personal lives and our outwardly Fab lives.
I knew you’d get it nero!"
Perfectly and eloquently written |
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"There's always one person who's more invested than the other. Fwbs are often for people who want the benefits of a relationship without the commitment that comes with one.  "
Finally. Someone that understands my perspective.
There is always one that wants more but takes what they can to be close to that person. It's like a dog nipping at the heels and taking the scraps |
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"There's always one person who's more invested than the other. Fwbs are often for people who want the benefits of a relationship without the commitment that comes with one.
Finally. Someone that understands my perspective.
There is always one that wants more but takes what they can to be close to that person. It's like a dog nipping at the heels and taking the scraps "
You obviously haven't found the right FWB then... |
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I’ve never experienced a FWB relationship, I’ve always had full on relationships so the chance has never really been possible. That doesn’t suit me now at the point in my life I’m at, so what has been described as FWB as opposed to FB would suit me very well I think. However , finding seems incredibly difficult it seems, and to be honest, apart from here I’m not sure where I’d go looking, especially as this style of relationship would possibly involve trips to Clubs, nudist beaches and alike. |
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"There's always one person who's more invested than the other. Fwbs are often for people who want the benefits of a relationship without the commitment that comes with one.
Finally. Someone that understands my perspective.
There is always one that wants more but takes what they can to be close to that person. It's like a dog nipping at the heels and taking the scraps "
100% this |
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I’ve enjoyed a FWB, support, emotional and being there. Also the benefits are good too. Not sure about others but can sadly often end due to one wanting more. But I think that doesn’t happen every time, as no two situations are the same. I know people who have long term FWB and it’s a good thing |
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"There's always one person who's more invested than the other. Fwbs are often for people who want the benefits of a relationship without the commitment that comes with one.
Finally. Someone that understands my perspective.
There is always one that wants more but takes what they can to be close to that person. It's like a dog nipping at the heels and taking the scraps "
😂
Not in my case |
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"There's always one person who's more invested than the other. Fwbs are often for people who want the benefits of a relationship without the commitment that comes with one.
Finally. Someone that understands my perspective.
There is always one that wants more but takes what they can to be close to that person. It's like a dog nipping at the heels and taking the scraps
😂
Not in my case"
Happy with your situation? |
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"I’ve enjoyed a FWB, support, emotional and being there. Also the benefits are good too. Not sure about others but can sadly often end due to one wanting more. But I think that doesn’t happen every time, as no two situations are the same. I know people who have long term FWB and it’s a good thing"
My longest was over 20 years. Still friends to this day. We were honest with each other from the start.
That's where the majority go tits up because they cant be honest. |
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"I’ve enjoyed a FWB, support, emotional and being there. Also the benefits are good too. Not sure about others but can sadly often end due to one wanting more. But I think that doesn’t happen every time, as no two situations are the same. I know people who have long term FWB and it’s a good thing
My longest was over 20 years. Still friends to this day. We were honest with each other from the start.
That's where the majority go tits up because they cant be honest."
Mine lasted 2 years but we are still friends. 20 years is awesome. I agree you have to be honest with what it is. |
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"There's always one person who's more invested than the other. Fwbs are often for people who want the benefits of a relationship without the commitment that comes with one.
Finally. Someone that understands my perspective.
There is always one that wants more but takes what they can to be close to that person. It's like a dog nipping at the heels and taking the scraps
😂
Not in my case
Happy with your situation?"
Absolutely yes! As I said above we both have full lives and not looking to change our lifestyles. It works for us and we get the best of each other |
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"There's always one person who's more invested than the other. Fwbs are often for people who want the benefits of a relationship without the commitment that comes with one.
Finally. Someone that understands my perspective.
There is always one that wants more but takes what they can to be close to that person. It's like a dog nipping at the heels and taking the scraps
You obviously haven't found the right FWB then..."
I don't share people I see regularly and if I did see someone regularly, it wouldn't be a friends type situation. It would be a purely sex dynamic.
If I want the feels and social aspects I'd just get a gf |
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"There's always one person who's more invested than the other. Fwbs are often for people who want the benefits of a relationship without the commitment that comes with one.
Finally. Someone that understands my perspective.
There is always one that wants more but takes what they can to be close to that person. It's like a dog nipping at the heels and taking the scraps
😂
Not in my case
Happy with your situation?
Absolutely yes! As I said above we both have full lives and not looking to change our lifestyles. It works for us and we get the best of each other"
Good to hear this, I think FWB are a good thing x |
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"I think if you spend a lot of time on the friends part, feelings are more likely to develop. "
Agreed. For me personally I find the whole FWB thing to be a minefield. I’ve not managed to strike the right balance yet but it clearly works for many. |
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By *oelMan 11 weeks ago
Midlands, London, Brussels |
"Friend with benefits situations - someone you meet regularly and enjoy spending time with not just sexually but socially too.
Do they ever go wrong?! What if feelings start appearing?!"
Yes, people catch feelings. Normally one side of the fwb wants more than fwb |
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