FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > All the bits you hate...
All the bits you hate...
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *sWyld OP Woman 7 days ago
Edinburgh |
Like many people I'm not happy with my body, lots of it I dislike, some of it I hate. Over the years those feelings have stopped me doing so many things. Agonising over how someone might be repulsed by me at certain angles or at various stages of undress.
Tonight those thoughts started to creep back in.
However, I remembered that in all my years of people seeing those bits I hate, they've never suddenly been repulsed and left . Those negative thoughts seem to only be mine because most are focusing on other things.
So this waffly post is a reminder to anyone else who only sees the bits of themselves they don't like.
Remember you are so much more than those parts.
You can't control what others think or feel.
You can choose to grant yourself the permission to feel good.
And no matter what insecurities you have, don't let them steal moments and opportunities to live.
You regret the things you didn't do , more than the things you did.
Happy weekend.
Xx
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Like many people I'm not happy with my body, lots of it I dislike, some of it I hate. Over the years those feelings have stopped me doing so many things. Agonising over how someone might be repulsed by me at certain angles or at various stages of undress.
Tonight those thoughts started to creep back in.
However, I remembered that in all my years of people seeing those bits I hate, they've never suddenly been repulsed and left . Those negative thoughts seem to only be mine because most are focusing on other things.
So this waffly post is a reminder to anyone else who only sees the bits of themselves they don't like.
Remember you are so much more than those parts.
You can't control what others think or feel.
You can choose to grant yourself the permission to feel good.
And no matter what insecurities you have, don't let them steal moments and opportunities to live.
You regret the things you didn't do , more than the things you did.
Happy weekend.
Xx
"
You look fantastic |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Completely agree, but I don't think I'll ever get over how much my body has changed since having a C section. It repulses me. Yet when I see tummies similar to my own 9n another people, I barely give it a passing thought 🤷♀️ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
That's a lovely post.
I suffer with body dysmorphic disorder, in particular relating to my face and it affects my day to day life as I often don't leave the house ( yes, I know this will make me being on here and meeting people seem odd; it's not a decision I take lightly, and I'll only meet people who take my issues into consideration.)
I hope one day I can try and accept the way I look more, but I've got a long road ahead. Getting a clinical diagnosis of BDD at least gave me some validation that I'm not making my issues up. It's a very misunderstood condition and I wish people would research it more before making backhanded compliments etc. I've had that a lot on here and been made to feel I'm not good enough unless I have lots of plastic surgery.
I'm very honest about it on my profile which might put a lot off, but if it makes one person also suffering feel less alone then I've done a good thing.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
❤️ This is a nice post, MsWyld.
I suffer, and have always suffered, with poor body image. I refuse to call it dysmorphia because I believe my views are warranted (but I suppose the therapists would say that’s exactly why it’s dysmorphia 😆). I hate every single bit of my body and face - to me, there isn’t a single redeeming feature.
The belief comes from decades of being ignored or rejected because of how i look, not just in public but on dating sites (and on here, I guess, but I know there are many other factors in play on fab).
Now, friends who are just friends, and friends who want into my pants, will say I’m talking nonsense. And I’m always grateful for the support but I’ll never agree.
Whilst I don’t give myself permission to feel good about my appearance, I’m 49 and am now past the point of worrying about it. I look how I look and, frankly, things are only going to get worse as I age and crumble into aching dust.
I still have to be very selective when taking picture and I are well good with angles, lighting, tone etc. I’m very different in person but I’m ok with it. I go out and I’m sociable and never feel down in those circumstances, but that’s because I’m not trying to pull, just living.
I’m not really sure what the point of this ramble was 😆 Maybe catharsis. It’s good to talk.
Thank you for your positive thoughts, they are lovely and will help some people, it’s a good message to put out there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"That's a lovely post.
I suffer with body dysmorphic disorder, in particular relating to my face and it affects my day to day life as I often don't leave the house ( yes, I know this will make me being on here and meeting people seem odd; it's not a decision I take lightly, and I'll only meet people who take my issues into consideration.)
I hope one day I can try and accept the way I look more, but I've got a long road ahead. Getting a clinical diagnosis of BDD at least gave me some validation that I'm not making my issues up. It's a very misunderstood condition and I wish people would research it more before making backhanded compliments etc. I've had that a lot on here and been made to feel I'm not good enough unless I have lots of plastic surgery.
I'm very honest about it on my profile which might put a lot off, but if it makes one person also suffering feel less alone then I've done a good thing.
"
I cant see your profile but your profile pic looks pretty awesome  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Everyone has their hang ups about their own bodies, you look at yourself in the mirror and focus in on them. Whereas other people focus on your best features. "
Wisdom right there. Without sounding in any way desperate, most right-thinking people embarking on sex are genuinely grateful to have a partner who grants them access to their most intimate self. And why wouldn't they be? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Nice post OP. 👌🏾
Love yourself first. Be your own number one fan. Positive self talk. I give myself compliments every day. If I see my reflection I tell myself I'm a handsome guy.
I think it's normal to have doubts and insecurities. As long as it doesn't stop us from doing what we want to. Embrace your body and its uniqueness. We only get one. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Since my teens I have always had a thing where I look in the mirror and I can go head to toe of things I dislike or “if I could change this or that”.
That will never go away.
I think a lot of us are cursed with this.
Glad you can find some peace though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Like many people I'm not happy with my body, lots of it I dislike, some of it I hate. Over the years those feelings have stopped me doing so many things. Agonising over how someone might be repulsed by me at certain angles or at various stages of undress.
Tonight those thoughts started to creep back in.
However, I remembered that in all my years of people seeing those bits I hate, they've never suddenly been repulsed and left . Those negative thoughts seem to only be mine because most are focusing on other things.
So this waffly post is a reminder to anyone else who only sees the bits of themselves they don't like.
Remember you are so much more than those parts.
You can't control what others think or feel.
You can choose to grant yourself the permission to feel good.
And no matter what insecurities you have, don't let them steal moments and opportunities to live.
You regret the things you didn't do , more than the things you did.
Happy weekend.
Xx
"
I'll just say that sometimes, not always because people are often unkind, but sometimes somebody will meet you and see you just as you are.
One of the sexiest affairs I had was with a woman who had lots of bodily issues (fat, gastric band to try to curb the fat, residual rolls, hypermobile Ehlers-Danos syndrome), and her husband had basically written her off as a lazy comfy convenience but not a sexual being.
We met as new to each other and the NRE was off the scale. It was pure lust and not down to any conventional ideas of physical attraction. It just happened naturally and organically I guess. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Isn't it awful how little the majority of us feel about ourselves!
We are all beautiful in our own way (i'm such a hypocrite for typing those words when I have so many of my own hang ups).
But love to you all, you sexy fuckers xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Oh I don't hate it, there are some things that I wish were different but surgeries, pregnancy etc all left their mark.
I can't change those things so I've learned to not hate them.
There will always be someone younger, prettier, slimmer, more intelligent etc so why sweat the things that just are.
Be brave  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Like many people I'm not happy with my body, lots of it I dislike, some of it I hate. Over the years those feelings have stopped me doing so many things. Agonising over how someone might be repulsed by me at certain angles or at various stages of undress.
Tonight those thoughts started to creep back in.
However, I remembered that in all my years of people seeing those bits I hate, they've never suddenly been repulsed and left . Those negative thoughts seem to only be mine because most are focusing on other things.
So this waffly post is a reminder to anyone else who only sees the bits of themselves they don't like.
Remember you are so much more than those parts.
You can't control what others think or feel.
You can choose to grant yourself the permission to feel good.
And no matter what insecurities you have, don't let them steal moments and opportunities to live.
You regret the things you didn't do , more than the things you did.
Happy weekend.
Xx
You look fantastic "
Ohh look a man perving over a woman hoping she will fall for it. 😂 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Isn't it awful how little the majority of us feel about ourselves!
We are all beautiful in our own way (i'm such a hypocrite for typing those words when I have so many of my own hang ups).
But love to you all, you sexy fuckers xxx"
Even me??? 😂 it’s ok I’m not arsed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Like many people I'm not happy with my body, lots of it I dislike, some of it I hate. Over the years those feelings have stopped me doing so many things. Agonising over how someone might be repulsed by me at certain angles or at various stages of undress.
Tonight those thoughts started to creep back in.
However, I remembered that in all my years of people seeing those bits I hate, they've never suddenly been repulsed and left . Those negative thoughts seem to only be mine because most are focusing on other things.
So this waffly post is a reminder to anyone else who only sees the bits of themselves they don't like.
Remember you are so much more than those parts.
You can't control what others think or feel.
You can choose to grant yourself the permission to feel good.
And no matter what insecurities you have, don't let them steal moments and opportunities to live.
You regret the things you didn't do , more than the things you did.
Happy weekend.
Xx
"
Always remember that we are our own worst critics and if we could see ourselves through the eyes of another their version of what they see would be different ❤️
I'm at the point where I work it, I own it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Turning 50 saved me (probably literally). I suddenly stopped bearing myself up, hating my body/face. Acceptance. Like amiably settling into a prison cell with an amicable and unthreatening cellmate. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Like many people I'm not happy with my body, lots of it I dislike, some of it I hate. Over the years those feelings have stopped me doing so many things. Agonising over how someone might be repulsed by me at certain angles or at various stages of undress.
Tonight those thoughts started to creep back in.
However, I remembered that in all my years of people seeing those bits I hate, they've never suddenly been repulsed and left . Those negative thoughts seem to only be mine because most are focusing on other things.
So this waffly post is a reminder to anyone else who only sees the bits of themselves they don't like.
Remember you are so much more than those parts.
You can't control what others think or feel.
You can choose to grant yourself the permission to feel good.
And no matter what insecurities you have, don't let them steal moments and opportunities to live.
You regret the things you didn't do , more than the things you did.
Happy weekend.
Xx
"
I suppose a person is his /her biggest critic, the thing is be happy in your own skin , tbh lm gone wayyyy past giving a toss about what others think, their opinions are none of my business, believe me if people are gonna talk or comment theyre gonna do it anyway..Just be happy in your own skin .
Great post OP.💪 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Thank you very much for this post OP. For me it's not the way I look, it's more how I feel.
Currently I don't feel desirable to anyone and am battling my own negative thoughts.
Half the week I am confident in how I am, half the week I am not.
I will continue the battle. I am trying to be kinder to myself and am trying to retrain my thoughts. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
How others view me is different to how I view myself. There are things that i dislike at the moment and things I have always disliked but have learned to live with.
As others have said, I have never experienced someone say to my face, oh you look fatter, slimmer, shorter taller better worse whatever when I have met them and we have pretty much always enjoyed ourselves together.
We are our own worst critics and some actually like the things I dislike.
I think the key is own it, love the skin you are in. Keep smiling, as with kink, one person urgh is another persons oooooooh.
🫶 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
At the minute, I'm actually pretty okay with my body. I know it's not the most ripped, but I actually prefer leaner runner/swimmer build.
And in the trouser department, not the biggest but above average so can't complain too much.
My biggest "hate" is from the neck up. I think I'm below average face wise, or average at best on a really, really good day.
Slowly trying to accept that, but some days it's easier than others |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I look back at photos of me from 5, 10 years ago and can't believe I used to think I was fat. My body now is different even to the photos on my profile from 2 years ago, and certainly since 5/10 years ago (and not in a good way)
At my lowest I remember sitting on my bed and absolutely sobbing before going to a meet, my confidence was beyond being in tatters.
I haven't really met since taking my fabbatical but I was so nervous of being with people who had seen me naked when I was trimmer.
Actually do you know what, it's not been an issue.
And I think that's given me more of a confidence boost than I could have realised.
I'd like to shed the weight, of course I would, but it's a work in progress and my age now goes against me.
If nothing else I have a lot of nice lingerie sets that I no longer fit into and I'd rather like it if I could! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
