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Experiment - single men profiles

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By *endalshaggers OP   Couple 5 weeks ago

Kendal

Sometimes we feel single guys on here are given a hard time (pardon the pun) and a bad rep due to the actions of a few bad apples. We read all the time about constant hassling, not reading profiles but expecting they'll be your type, demanding a meet up now etc etc.

As an experiment last night, we turned on the filter back to allowing single male profiles to wink and message us.

Went to bed at 10pm, with 0 new winks and 1 unread message.

Logged on this morning to 124 winks and 97 messages - all but two winks from single males and all but 4 messages (including the message from last night) from single males.

Spent the last hour going through and deleting the messages - all of them followed the same tones of "hey How are you?" "You're incredibly sexy, I'd love to fuck you" "meet me?" "Come and fuck me, I'm bigger than your hubby and ill give you better sex".

Turned the filter back off, I can now see why some people have had problems or negative opinions!

I know it's not every single guy on here but some of them....it's absolutely no wonder they've had no meets or no luck!

C xxx

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By *he Gentleman CallerMan 5 weeks ago

Southampton

That's really interesting experiment OP..and quite an eye opener for us single men I would suggest. We knew things got busy for couple/single females but that really brings it home.

The advice/illustration of how NOT to introduce oneself is also required reading..and of course no pics of one's parts!

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By *enk15Man 5 weeks ago

Bidford On Avon

A little while ago We set up a placeholder account for my partner.

Profile was single female, no pictures, no description.

100+ messages rolled in.

80% had the title of "Hi" or a variation of.

65% contained no more than 8 words.

50% Contained words like Sexy/beautiful/gorgeous to describe someone they have never seen.

Now this was not an experiment. If it was, the limitations are that a blank profile probably attract messages from certain types of people.

But it was eye opening.

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 25/03/24 11:17:23]

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago

We have men a handful of really lovely men on here. But they have ALWAYS been a result of us looking for them.

So in my opinion the best way for guys to find women is to often be online and have a unique and interesting profile.

That being said we rarely receive messages off men that have any good content or interesting things to say despite lots of fun info on our profile to strike conversation.

So.

Maybe there really is just an ocean of weirdos with a sprinkling of good eggs.

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By *ockney-JMan 5 weeks ago

Cambridge

My context is different in that I am single and not straight, but it seems same old story. Almost blank profiles, faceless messages, sleazy short messages, or just ‘hi’ etc. 90% do not read profiles. It is tedious to say the least and I am not checking messages as much as used to. I can image for women and MF couples it would be much more intense in volume. So little effort

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By *ouples_EroticaXXXCouple 5 weeks ago

manchetsr


"Sometimes we feel single guys on here are given a hard time (pardon the pun) and a bad rep due to the actions of a few bad apples. We read all the time about constant hassling, not reading profiles but expecting they'll be your type, demanding a meet up now etc etc.

As an experiment last night, we turned on the filter back to allowing single male profiles to wink and message us.

Went to bed at 10pm, with 0 new winks and 1 unread message.

Logged on this morning to 124 winks and 97 messages - all but two winks from single males and all but 4 messages (including the message from last night) from single males.

Spent the last hour going through and deleting the messages - all of them followed the same tones of "hey How are you?" "You're incredibly sexy, I'd love to fuck you" "meet me?" "Come and fuck me, I'm bigger than your hubby and ill give you better sex".

Turned the filter back off, I can now see why some people have had problems or negative opinions!

I know it's not every single guy on here but some of them....it's absolutely no wonder they've had no meets or no luck!

C xxx "

Majority of the messages we get are from people who sent that kind of garbage, despite us stating in the profile we won’t meet any men who approach us via message.

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago

Also. This could definitely be much bettervmanaged by the powers that be, but as a cheap subscription site... Can we really expect that?

We get what we pay for. Perhaps they should offer and upgrade service with better filters and searches etc

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By *ouples_EroticaXXXCouple 5 weeks ago

manchetsr


"Also. This could definitely be much bettervmanaged by the powers that be, but as a cheap subscription site... Can we really expect that?

We get what we pay for. Perhaps they should offer and upgrade service with better filters and searches etc "

Second this.

Video verification would help also

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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"We have men a handful of really lovely men on here. But they have ALWAYS been a result of us looking for them.

So in my opinion the best way for guys to find women is to often be online and have a unique and interesting profile.

That being said we rarely receive messages off men that have any good content or interesting things to say despite lots of fun info on our profile to strike conversation.

So.

Maybe there really is just an ocean of weirdos with a sprinkling of good eggs. "

This is generally the best and easiest approach for couples, having been one for a decade previously.

Guarantees no crass messages in your inbox.

Guarantees you'll not receive one from anyone that doesn't catch your eye initially.

Guarantees no additional workload to manage your inbox.

Doesn't of course guarantee you'll be of interest to them, but that's always the case whoever messages first.

And I can almost guarantee any message you sent wouldn't ever get lost in a sea of others as is commonly claimed by men when they try and contact women and couples. Their inboxes will rarely be overflowing, so you'll be easily seen.

If more couples and women adopted that approach then I suspect there'd be significantly less complaints on the forums about volumes of messages, their quality/content and potentially a lot more successful encounters.

It would also encourage single male profiles to put more effort into visuals and text content. A win for pretty much everyone.

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By *ea wangMan 5 weeks ago

scunthorpe

Lots of entitled people on here op not just single guys ,but women and couples who expect you to jump through hoops just to get them to say hello as o swings and roundabouts ,now try the same experiment with just couples and share the results in 24hrs

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By *ockney-JMan 5 weeks ago

Cambridge


"Also. This could definitely be much bettervmanaged by the powers that be, but as a cheap subscription site... Can we really expect that?

We get what we pay for. Perhaps they should offer and upgrade service with better filters and searches etc

Second this.

Video verification would help also"

I would pay higher subscription for this

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By *att1985xxxMan 5 weeks ago

south West

I believe if couples and females on here want to meet single men then the easiest thing is for them to approach the single male. That way they choose and don't need to accept all the crap from the many desperate guys on here!!

I'm never desperate...lol

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago


"Lots of entitled people on here op not just single guys ,but women and couples who expect you to jump through hoops just to get them to say hello as o swings and roundabouts ,now try the same experiment with just couples and share the results in 24hrs"

I came on fab as a single woman looking for single women. Trust me. Even that was a graft as most fo my messages got completely ignored..... And I wrote lovely personal messages to all of them with face pic.

So trust me. I understand the pain and disappointment you guys must feel. I gave up VERY quickly and felt really deflated and crap about myself.

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By *hill.1Man 5 weeks ago

Galway


"Sometimes we feel single guys on here are given a hard time (pardon the pun) and a bad rep due to the actions of a few bad apples. We read all the time about constant hassling, not reading profiles but expecting they'll be your type, demanding a meet up now etc etc. A little charm isn't expensive is it

As an experiment last night, we turned on the filter back to allowing single male profiles to wink and message us.

Went to bed at 10pm, with 0 new winks and 1 unread message.

Logged on this morning to 124 winks and 97 messages - all but two winks from single males and all but 4 messages (including the message from last night) from single males.

Spent the last hour going through and deleting the messages - all of them followed the same tones of "hey How are you?" "You're incredibly sexy, I'd love to fuck you" "meet me?" "Come and fuck me, I'm bigger than your hubby and ill give you better sex".

Turned the filter back off, I can now see why some people have had problems or negative opinions!

I know it's not every single guy on here but some of them....it's absolutely no wonder they've had no meets or no luck!

C xxx "

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By *r_reusMan 5 weeks ago

Coventry

u ok?

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By *-MrGatsby-.Man 5 weeks ago

London and Sandy

What might stop the Single Male spam is a restriction that the message must be at least X characters long. E.g. Some thought is needed to write it.

But this rule would need to spot ways around it. Like filling the message with full stops.

What I find useful, if I'm wishing to make initial contact, is when there's a subject word that has to be provided. This then proves I've actually read the profile which SM Spammers generally don't.

Then those that haven't bothered reading are easily identified.

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By *ouples_EroticaXXXCouple 5 weeks ago

manchetsr


"What might stop the Single Male spam is a restriction that the message must be at least X characters long. E.g. Some thought is needed to write it.

But this rule would need to spot ways around it. Like filling the message with full stops.

What I find useful, if I'm wishing to make initial contact, is when there's a subject word that has to be provided. This then proves I've actually read the profile which SM Spammers generally don't.

Then those that haven't bothered reading are easily identified. "

That’s why lots of profiles will ask for a key word in your message title.

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago


"What might stop the Single Male spam is a restriction that the message must be at least X characters long. E.g. Some thought is needed to write it.

But this rule would need to spot ways around it. Like filling the message with full stops.

What I find useful, if I'm wishing to make initial contact, is when there's a subject word that has to be provided. This then proves I've actually read the profile which SM Spammers generally don't.

Then those that haven't bothered reading are easily identified. "

Noooooo. The long copy and paste messages are even worse!!! They trick me into thinking it's someone decent until 4 lines in she it clicks haha

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By *andy mamboMan 5 weeks ago

saltney

Been on cam in chatroom had a few looking and talking but no offers for meets

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By *ima7893Man 5 weeks ago

Cardiff (Home), London (Work)

Again, I would be very happy to pay a little more to use this site as a single male if a higher level of verification would mean better credibility as a single guy on the scene!

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By *endalshaggers OP   Couple 5 weeks ago

Kendal


"That's really interesting experiment OP..and quite an eye opener for us single men I would suggest. We knew things got busy for couple/single females but that really brings it home.

The advice/illustration of how NOT to introduce oneself is also required reading..and of course no pics of one's parts!"

Why we did it, we were curious as the (albeit limited) interactions we've had with single males or the male half of a couple have been nothing but positive. However we keep seeing single male profiles being generally bashed in the forums. It was certainly an eye opener!

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By *loyd1982Man 5 weeks ago

Twickenham

I understood that it was a bit of a cattle market for single women and couples on here but those numbers are insane!

The people I’ve met here and elsewhere have all said similar. I think it must be most annoying when you specifically ask guys to ‘be creative’ or ‘don’t just send hi and a cock pic’ and they go ahead and do it anyway.

I’d have to echo what others have said here and wonder how these guys ever get to meet anybody? Is it just a numbers game.

I find it hard enough to meet people here as a single guy - perhaps the fact that every single woman and couple on here get bombarded with this kind of thing really isn’t helping my cause!

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By *rozac_fairyCouple 5 weeks ago

Tamworth

It is literally constant.

But occasionally, you find a fantastic guy! We swapped to club only meets which really elevated our "hunt" for single guys and made the process so much easier.

Granted, I know that's not for everyone ofcourse!

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By *rozac_fairyCouple 5 weeks ago

Tamworth


"Lots of entitled people on here op not just single guys ,but women and couples who expect you to jump through hoops just to get them to say hello as o swings and roundabouts ,now try the same experiment with just couples and share the results in 24hrs"

Literally noone said it was just single guys. Everyone is aware this site is full of entitled people regardless of gender and relationship status.

Why though, try and derail a conversation specifically about single guys and their messaging habits? Very strange thing to do, screams hasttag not all men.

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By *r TriomanMan 5 weeks ago

Malmesbury/Larkhill

I conducted my own experiment over 10 years on Fab; in this time I've probably had less than 40 messages initiated by single females and/or couples. Of these, 80% where simply "Hi".

It would appear, that no matter what profile category we fall into on Fab, the standard of messages isn't always great and the volume isn't (mostly) to our satisfaction.

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By *rRogersTelfordMan 5 weeks ago

Telford

Our couples profile is the same. There are times there was thousands of messages and there was just no chance, even worse when most of them were the same vulgar, boring drivel.

As for my singles profile, I tend to hardly message here unless I see something I like. But even then, it’s a numbers game. 99% of the time the message will be ignored, just because all single guys are lumped into the same “nice tits, look at my cock next to this Fanta can” rubbish.

It is what it is sadly!

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By *endalshaggers OP   Couple 5 weeks ago

Kendal


"Lots of entitled people on here op not just single guys ,but women and couples who expect you to jump through hoops just to get them to say hello as o swings and roundabouts ,now try the same experiment with just couples and share the results in 24hrs

Literally noone said it was just single guys. Everyone is aware this site is full of entitled people regardless of gender and relationship status.

Why though, try and derail a conversation specifically about single guys and their messaging habits? Very strange thing to do, screams hasttag not all men. "

Screams "damn, I am one of those who sends those type of messages, why am I not getting replies waaahhhh"

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By *rozac_fairyCouple 5 weeks ago

Tamworth


"Lots of entitled people on here op not just single guys ,but women and couples who expect you to jump through hoops just to get them to say hello as o swings and roundabouts ,now try the same experiment with just couples and share the results in 24hrs

Literally noone said it was just single guys. Everyone is aware this site is full of entitled people regardless of gender and relationship status.

Why though, try and derail a conversation specifically about single guys and their messaging habits? Very strange thing to do, screams hasttag not all men.

Screams "damn, I am one of those who sends those type of messages, why am I not getting replies waaahhhh""

Right!? Like yes, we know, stay on topic.

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By *rcoupleCouple 5 weeks ago

Mid Glam

It is quite insane.

The Mr did this as a single guy on fab 13-10 years ago. And it was hard going then.

The sheer volume of men- which has increased in the last decade just means you are deluged. Invariably with low effort profiles with 2 lines of tex and a 1 line "hi"

We don't tar them all with the same brush, we've noticed some outstaning single men on the forums. The exception rather than the norm tho.

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By *r_reusMan 5 weeks ago

Coventry

For the most part, I believe that when a couple of female requests an 'exceptional single male', 9 times out of 10 what they mean is a man with a basic level of physical and mental attractiveness.

That such men are considered 'exceptional' on this site is telling.

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By *rDuracell88Man 5 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Sometimes we feel single guys on here are given a hard time (pardon the pun) and a bad rep due to the actions of a few bad apples. We read all the time about constant hassling, not reading profiles but expecting they'll be your type, demanding a meet up now etc etc.

As an experiment last night, we turned on the filter back to allowing single male profiles to wink and message us.

Went to bed at 10pm, with 0 new winks and 1 unread message.

Logged on this morning to 124 winks and 97 messages - all but two winks from single males and all but 4 messages (including the message from last night) from single males.

Spent the last hour going through and deleting the messages - all of them followed the same tones of "hey How are you?" "You're incredibly sexy, I'd love to fuck you" "meet me?" "Come and fuck me, I'm bigger than your hubby and ill give you better sex".

Turned the filter back off, I can now see why some people have had problems or negative opinions!

I know it's not every single guy on here but some of them....it's absolutely no wonder they've had no meets or no luck!

C xxx "

I always read every profile and if I decide go message I would always be respectful, try and pick something out their profile what I like and try and get a conversation going. (Not that difficult really)

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By *heitaliandreamerMan 5 weeks ago

Northampton

I read every profile and my profile is well written and presented but most of women just dont give much importance. They just look at the pictures.

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By *ex HolesMan 5 weeks ago

Up North


"Sometimes we feel single guys on here are given a hard time (pardon the pun) and a bad rep due to the actions of a few bad apples. We read all the time about constant hassling, not reading profiles but expecting they'll be your type, demanding a meet up now etc etc.

As an experiment last night, we turned on the filter back to allowing single male profiles to wink and message us.

Went to bed at 10pm, with 0 new winks and 1 unread message.

Logged on this morning to 124 winks and 97 messages - all but two winks from single males and all but 4 messages (including the message from last night) from single males.

Spent the last hour going through and deleting the messages - all of them followed the same tones of "hey How are you?" "You're incredibly sexy, I'd love to fuck you" "meet me?" "Come and fuck me, I'm bigger than your hubby and ill give you better sex".

Turned the filter back off, I can now see why some people have had problems or negative opinions!

I know it's not every single guy on here but some of them....it's absolutely no wonder they've had no meets or no luck!

C xxx "

Was this experiment conducted under Sydney University conditions?

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By *ddie_14051991Man 5 weeks ago

Paisley / Glasgow

I read every ones profile I look at , and I actually take the time to write decent messages and put effort in to them.

I write to couples addressing both and woman and I'm always respectful and attached a picture to the message.

Lot of single guys ruin it for single guys if that makes sense I get the feeling it automatically creates a stigma for single guys as well.

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By *ouples_EroticaXXXCouple 5 weeks ago

manchetsr


"I read every profile and my profile is well written and presented but most of women just dont give much importance. They just look at the pictures. "

Physical attracted is usually required during a sexual encounter, we it is for us anyways. So profile/personality and physical attraction are of equal importance, we won’t meet without both.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple 5 weeks ago

Cumbria


"I read every profile and my profile is well written and presented but most of women just dont give much importance. They just look at the pictures. "

We look at both, I think most women do to be honest, or those we have spoken to at least.

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By *icecouple561Couple 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Proof if it were needed that if you have no interest in being contacted by certain sections of fab that filters are the best way to avoid it.

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago


"

Was this experiment conducted under Sydney University conditions? "

I really wish Fab forums had a laugh/like/dislike reaction button.

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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Proof if it were needed that if you have no interest in being contacted by certain sections of fab that filters are the best way to avoid it. "

You can lead a horse to water......

*not calling anyone a horse, obvs.....

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By *rcoupleCouple 5 weeks ago

Mid Glam


"

Was this experiment conducted under Sydney University conditions?

I really wish Fab forums had a laugh/like/dislike reaction button.

"

That

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By *quarius40Man 5 weeks ago

Kidderminster

As a single guy it’s funny when you come across a profile which bashes single guy messages when the only content in their profile is single male bashing and no other info about them, giving nothing for a single guy to build an intro message about.

It’s graft as a single guy when there are so many who are disrespectful etc.

Maybe this is a point where fab can modernise and level up, with improve verification for single males, such as having to submit id etc, and then putting more into the filters such as not permitting messages from outside of a mileage range, or anymore. There are many things that could be pinched from other sites and dating sites to bring fab forwards and ease service users frustrations

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By *empest2kMan 5 weeks ago

Derby


"

Was this experiment conducted under Sydney University conditions?

I really wish Fab forums had a laugh/like/dislike reaction button.

"

100% this!

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By *r SensualMan 5 weeks ago

London

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, for those who ARE interested in single men, the upstanding and respectable ones are usually very unlikely to be all up in people’s inboxes sending such drivel and nonsense.

They’re likely to message IF they see something of common ground that can (hopefully) initiate some conversation of substance.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple 5 weeks ago

Cumbria


"As a single guy it’s funny when you come across a profile which bashes single guy messages when the only content in their profile is single male bashing and no other info about them, giving nothing for a single guy to build an intro message about.

It’s graft as a single guy when there are so many who are disrespectful etc.

Maybe this is a point where fab can modernise and level up, with improve verification for single males, such as having to submit id etc, and then putting more into the filters such as not permitting messages from outside of a mileage range, or anymore. There are many things that could be pinched from other sites and dating sites to bring fab forwards and ease service users frustrations "

Why would you want to meet someone who ‘bashes’ single males anyway?

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By *quarius40Man 5 weeks ago

Kidderminster


"As a single guy it’s funny when you come across a profile which bashes single guy messages when the only content in their profile is single male bashing and no other info about them, giving nothing for a single guy to build an intro message about.

It’s graft as a single guy when there are so many who are disrespectful etc.

Maybe this is a point where fab can modernise and level up, with improve verification for single males, such as having to submit id etc, and then putting more into the filters such as not permitting messages from outside of a mileage range, or anymore. There are many things that could be pinched from other sites and dating sites to bring fab forwards and ease service users frustrations

Why would you want to meet someone who ‘bashes’ single males anyway?"

My point is that there seems to be a lot of profiles on fab that are basically very negative and don’t give anything a convo can be built from, but many of these profiles seem to be the ones who moan about getting messages with no substance. Conversation is always a two way street, one person can’t build a convo or send an engaging message with no context to work with

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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"As a single guy it’s funny when you come across a profile which bashes single guy messages when the only content in their profile is single male bashing and no other info about them, giving nothing for a single guy to build an intro message about.

It’s graft as a single guy when there are so many who are disrespectful etc.

Maybe this is a point where fab can modernise and level up, with improve verification for single males, such as having to submit id etc, and then putting more into the filters such as not permitting messages from outside of a mileage range, or anymore. There are many things that could be pinched from other sites and dating sites to bring fab forwards and ease service users frustrations

Why would you want to meet someone who ‘bashes’ single males anyway?

My point is that there seems to be a lot of profiles on fab that are basically very negative and don’t give anything a convo can be built from, but many of these profiles seem to be the ones who moan about getting messages with no substance. Conversation is always a two way street, one person can’t build a convo or send an engaging message with no context to work with"

And these are the profiles where it's easy to not engage with.

There no point in approaching soneone with profile content you find negative or where there's an indication that you're not compatible.

Move on to another. Saves everyone time and effort.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple 5 weeks ago

Cumbria


"As a single guy it’s funny when you come across a profile which bashes single guy messages when the only content in their profile is single male bashing and no other info about them, giving nothing for a single guy to build an intro message about.

It’s graft as a single guy when there are so many who are disrespectful etc.

Maybe this is a point where fab can modernise and level up, with improve verification for single males, such as having to submit id etc, and then putting more into the filters such as not permitting messages from outside of a mileage range, or anymore. There are many things that could be pinched from other sites and dating sites to bring fab forwards and ease service users frustrations

Why would you want to meet someone who ‘bashes’ single males anyway?

My point is that there seems to be a lot of profiles on fab that are basically very negative and don’t give anything a convo can be built from, but many of these profiles seem to be the ones who moan about getting messages with no substance. Conversation is always a two way street, one person can’t build a convo or send an engaging message with no context to work with"

Their loss, not yours.

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By *quarius40Man 5 weeks ago

Kidderminster

I didn’t say I was contacting them, I just acknowledged I’d seen such profiles and saw the pattern of negativity.

What I was trying to say was if there was a further effort for positivity rather than negativity on profiles, then maybe this may also reduce some of abusive messages and also discourage the “hi” and “ meet now suck me off” messages the disrespectful single males send

If there is nothing in the profile to build a convo from, then those profiles will only ever get the “fuck now” single male messages

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By *ddie_14051991Man 5 weeks ago

Paisley / Glasgow

Or when you write a message engaging in conversations and get 3 word answers or sometimes a sentence hahah lol

Happend a few times, but at the same time I don't blame woman because if there receiving so much mail and spending age's sorting through I can 100% understand how that would be mentally draining and just not having the energy either.

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By *asisfan25Man 5 weeks ago

Essex

Not to sound maybe arrogant but I would sent you a much more well thought out message if i known.

I hate some of the messages people send on here

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By *ario1972Man 5 weeks ago

Guildford


"

I came on fab as a single woman looking for single women. Trust me. Even that was a graft as most fo my messages got completely ignored..... And I wrote lovely personal messages to all of them with face pic.

So trust me. I understand the pain and disappointment you guys must feel. I gave up VERY quickly and felt really deflated and crap about myself.

"

Nail and head.

I've spent up to an hour reading a profile and writing a message only to have it deleted unread.

Only last week I had a message come in and my wee heart jumped for joy - it was a couple who showed some interest, they wanted a face pic.

I said there was one on my profile and they sent through their number.

I took a selfie and fired it over and the next thing I know I get a message saying I'm not what she's interested in.

They uploaded some photos a day later and jesus H corbitt, the state of it, the mess, the clutter, all that was needed was a pair of pants with some skids on the floor and we'd have been done. And that's before I start on what was spread on the sofa... My eyeballs needed counselling - and I'm no oil painting by any stretch.

So I just don't now. I want to write to so many women and couples, but I always feel that if i'm what they're after or of interest they'll come to me in the first instance, and in reality there's much better competition than me out there, so I'll go to some socials and if anyone like the make of me, they can talk to me there.

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago

Not guilty your honour!

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By *ustagentMan 5 weeks ago

wa14

Hmmm some good points put by both sides, i get more messages from males than couples, obviously not read profile,and to be frank very desperate, i have more success in clubs as i think you cant beat meeting in the flesh, no photo shop what you see is what you get!and goofd banter and a laugh goes a long way and good luck too all!

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago

Completely understand and sympathise with most women / couples on here there are a few genuine and really great guys but afraid lots of the dross can just knock the confidence that we aren’t all like that!

Completely different tastes make up fab which is why it’s a wonderful and diverse place but agree as I’ve even had it myself before where you just tire of it unfortunately but we are out there in the minority it seems x

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By *oonshadow700Woman 5 weeks ago

Gosport

Just had this conversation with a single man this evening. He'd messaged me earlier 'Want to fuck?' 'My name is ....' I ignored him. He then messages again asking why don't us ladies want him, all he gets is gay guys' interest.

I replied that first of all single women get huge amounts of messages, he needed to rethink his profile to stand out. Secondly I told him that if his attitude towards women on fab was poor it would show. The vast majority of women like myself aren't going to be dazzled by "Want to fuck?' There was no friendliness, intelligence, humour, warmth, effort involved x

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By *ewstaffsmanMan 5 weeks ago

brownhills


"Sometimes we feel single guys on here are given a hard time (pardon the pun) and a bad rep due to the actions of a few bad apples. We read all the time about constant hassling, not reading profiles but expecting they'll be your type, demanding a meet up now etc etc.

As an experiment last night, we turned on the filter back to allowing single male profiles to wink and message us.

Went to bed at 10pm, with 0 new winks and 1 unread message.

Logged on this morning to 124 winks and 97 messages - all but two winks from single males and all but 4 messages (including the message from last night) from single males.

Spent the last hour going through and deleting the messages - all of them followed the same tones of "hey How are you?" "You're incredibly sexy, I'd love to fuck you" "meet me?" "Come and fuck me, I'm bigger than your hubby and ill give you better sex".

Turned the filter back off, I can now see why some people have had problems or negative opinions!

I know it's not every single guy on here but some of them....it's absolutely no wonder they've had no meets or no luck!

C xxx "

Ok my bad I always start with hi how are you both? As I feel this is polite but then I would go into a question and also send a picture of myself too. I would never send a message saying anything like fuck me or anything along those lines though that’s just weird

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago


"Just had this conversation with a single man this evening. He'd messaged me earlier 'Want to fuck?' 'My name is ....' I ignored him. He then messages again asking why don't us ladies want him, all he gets is gay guys' interest.

I replied that first of all single women get huge amounts of messages, he needed to rethink his profile to stand out. Secondly I told him that if his attitude towards women on fab was poor it would show. The vast majority of women like myself aren't going to be dazzled by "Want to fuck?' There was no friendliness, intelligence, humour, warmth, effort involved x"

I tried giving someone advice once instead of ignoring him and I got told I was a patronising bitch and got blocked haha.

I'm sure he's having a wonderful time on fab.

I've also been called a racist bitch and to fuck off and die because I told somebody they weren't my type as a 'BBC'

Can only laugh but also wonder if the crap mechanics of this site led them to such defensive insecurities or if they were always assholes

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By *ike4256Man 5 weeks ago

Musselburgh

I can't speak for all men so will only speak to my experiences on here.

I have messaged dozens of women and couples on here with honest, polite, sometimes funny and always non crude introductions.....with little to none interest. I can only imagine the ratio of women/couples profiles to single men's profiles is extremely high. I get no messages and I hear all the time how women get hundreds.

Imagine being the single average guy who has to write an original and noteworthy introduction message a hundred times to get ignored anyway. So I can imagine men's frustrations as well as womens.

I don't know what the answer is if I did I'd probably get a reply to one of my messages lol I just thought it was worth mentioning.

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By *enSiskoMan 5 weeks ago

Cestus 3

I found my answer, hide my profile use the forums when I am up to nothing.

Go through my front door and go meet people old fashioned I know but hey it works.

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By *ookie_and_NookieCouple 5 weeks ago

Kent

I think we must have been quite lucky! We have never had single guys blocked despite the fact that for the first year and a half on here, we weren’t meeting single men. We’ve never been overwhelmed with messages other than when one of our videos managed to get to page one on hot pics. We have definitely had more than our fair share of ‘wanna fuck?’ ‘Your Mrs want dick?’ And the one word ‘hi’ messages. I’m not sure what those people think they’re going to get out of sending messages like that, I don’t imagine even sending 1,000 like that would get you one actual meet! We’ve also had a few men who couldn’t take no for an answer but that’s what the block function is for. What we get frustrated with is spending time chatting, arranging to meet and then being let down. I’ve booked more Dayuse hotels than I care to remember and we’ve had to cancel every single one so far!

C x

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By *rivervaderMan 5 weeks ago

bolton

Don’t know why most blokes think it’s there right to be pushy or rude to females and couples just be nice and maybe you will get somewhere. But saying that I send respectable messages and still no joy maybe I have a shit profile

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By *ario1972Man 5 weeks ago

Guildford


"Don’t know why most blokes think it’s there right to be pushy or rude to females and couples just be nice and maybe you will get somewhere. But saying that I send respectable messages and still no joy maybe I have a shit profile "

the other side of it could be that the couple and lady in question see messages like ours after forty or fifty like the ones you've mentioned and just think fuck that, I'm not even going to open it.

That's why I've taken a back seat and not bothering at all, yes it's not ideal but rather that than spend hours reading, typing, sending to not get anything back apart from the odd "thanks for the lovely message" or "I'm not interested" and not have it go any further.

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By *dventuresWithOllieMan 5 weeks ago

sheffield

[Removed by poster at 26/03/24 10:28:02]

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By *dventuresWithOllieMan 5 weeks ago

sheffield


"Don’t know why most blokes think it’s there right to be pushy or rude to females and couples just be nice and maybe you will get somewhere. But saying that I send respectable messages and still no joy maybe I have a shit profile

the other side of it could be that the couple and lady in question see messages like ours after forty or fifty like the ones you've mentioned and just think fuck that, I'm not even going to open it.

That's why I've taken a back seat and not bothering at all, yes it's not ideal but rather that than spend hours reading, typing, sending to not get anything back apart from the odd "thanks for the lovely message" or "I'm not interested" and not have it go any further."

I have now adopted the same approach, as i was going slightly insane sending carefully crafted messages with no response.

As many profiles single/couples profiles suggest 'single men, we will find you'

So i have calmed and just wait, with the occasional crafted advance.

I think filtering out groups you dont want is the key i.e. the non validated/verified

There is just not much one can do as a single male in overly single male populated site... maybe make validation have more step perhaps...

Observe the trends on the site, act caccordingly and be polite.

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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Don’t know why most blokes think it’s there right to be pushy or rude to females and couples just be nice and maybe you will get somewhere. But saying that I send respectable messages and still no joy maybe I have a shit profile

the other side of it could be that the couple and lady in question see messages like ours after forty or fifty like the ones you've mentioned and just think fuck that, I'm not even going to open it.

That's why I've taken a back seat and not bothering at all, yes it's not ideal but rather that than spend hours reading, typing, sending to not get anything back apart from the odd "thanks for the lovely message" or "I'm not interested" and not have it go any further.

I have now adopted the same approach, as i was going slightly insane sending carefully crafted messages with no response.

As many profiles single/couples profiles suggest 'single men, we will find you'

So i have calmed and just wait, with the occasional crafted advance.

I think filtering out groups you dont want is the key i.e. the non validated/verified

There is just not much one can do as a single male in overly single male populated site... maybe make validation have more step perhaps...

Observe the trends on the site, act caccordingly and be polite. "

It's no secret that many will view a profile before opening a message sent from one.

So maybe it's worth spending more time creating a profile that attracts interest via words and pictures, and less time worrying about creating the perfect opening message?

A profile that catches the eye and gives an insight into the owner is far more likely to get a positive response from a message than a vague, limited one, even if the best message in the history of all Fab messages was sent.

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By *ookie_and_NookieCouple 5 weeks ago

Kent


"Don’t know why most blokes think it’s there right to be pushy or rude to females and couples just be nice and maybe you will get somewhere. But saying that I send respectable messages and still no joy maybe I have a shit profile

the other side of it could be that the couple and lady in question see messages like ours after forty or fifty like the ones you've mentioned and just think fuck that, I'm not even going to open it.

That's why I've taken a back seat and not bothering at all, yes it's not ideal but rather that than spend hours reading, typing, sending to not get anything back apart from the odd "thanks for the lovely message" or "I'm not interested" and not have it go any further.

I have now adopted the same approach, as i was going slightly insane sending carefully crafted messages with no response.

As many profiles single/couples profiles suggest 'single men, we will find you'

So i have calmed and just wait, with the occasional crafted advance.

I think filtering out groups you dont want is the key i.e. the non validated/verified

There is just not much one can do as a single male in overly single male populated site... maybe make validation have more step perhaps...

Observe the trends on the site, act caccordingly and be polite.

It's no secret that many will view a profile before opening a message sent from one.

So maybe it's worth spending more time creating a profile that attracts interest via words and pictures, and less time worrying about creating the perfect opening message?

A profile that catches the eye and gives an insight into the owner is far more likely to get a positive response from a message than a vague, limited one, even if the best message in the history of all Fab messages was sent. "

Exactly this! I always check the profile first, the content of the message is irrelevant if it’s someone we won’t be interested in for what ever reason. That’s not to say we definitely won’t reply when we open the message, some people don’t have face pics on their profile (we don’t) but they’ll send them in a message.

C x

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By *rivervaderMan 5 weeks ago

bolton

I’ve redone my bio loads of times even had a woman type out the last one

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By *ddie_14051991Man 5 weeks ago

Paisley / Glasgow


"I’ve redone my bio loads of times even had a woman type out the last one "

And how'd that work out ? Lol

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By *issmorganWoman 5 weeks ago

Calderdale innit


"I believe if couples and females on here want to meet single men then the easiest thing is for them to approach the single male. That way they choose and don't need to accept all the crap from the many desperate guys on here!!

I'm never desperate...lol "

I agree on this, or use the filters available to cut down on people they don't want to hear from.

I use several filters and it means my mail is manageable, plus I have a long profile that explains about me etc. I think that is used as a filer by many too, which is why it is like it is.

There are ways to stuff constant crap filling your inbox, obviously you can't eliminate it completely unless you set your filters to looking for 98 to 99 or something similar.

I'd just like to say it's not only men that send lazy or entitled messages, couples do it too.

Women probably are guilty aswell, but I don't message them.

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By *lack Orchid 0204Man 5 weeks ago

Leeds

And the award for have a go at single guys thread goes to....

See you tomorrow for the next awards ceremony

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By *uckurcumMan 5 weeks ago

County Durham .Bishop Auckland

I don't think it's single women or couples alone that get strange messages/winks...

I've had any number of straight guys wink,message,mess about,arrange meets then nothing,the same messages weeks apart, and I understand it's frustrating,but just think it's part of the whole online experience,good and bad ....

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By *ob198XaMan 5 weeks ago

teleford

From a single male point, what is it you want to see in a message? We are aware most messages get lost in a sea of messages, I read profiles and try to tailor a opening message to the recipients profile but let’s be honest, we aren’t going to invest heavily in an opening message that in all probability may not even be opened. Often timing can be more important than the contents of the message! A first message is really just a hello, I find your profile attractive, it would be nice to get a hello back but otherwise just accept this as a compliment and move on. As you know OP, you can turn off receiving messages and then approach those that interest you.

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By *oxy jWoman 5 weeks ago

somerset

its not the mine field many think it is its actually easy if you use the tools provided i only meet men via fab so im not going to block all i just block those im not interested in as i go along and before you know it most of the local guys are blocked leaving only those i maybe interested in and if durring a message or a status i think nope then blocked .. once blocked the stay block all that are block on my single account are block on our couples one to ..

the problem is people dont like block button because they feel its rude or want a social media type feel to the site its really not hard sort attraction out first then dick heads and your still surprisingly left with more nice guys than you can handle ...

this saying the bad guys ruin it for us good guys is rubbish too they dont affect you at all your responsible for you no one else so stop using others as an excuse ... how many good guys are there on faqb well if 99% left tomorrow thetr would still be to many good guys left

i can remember the last time a guy let me down and i meet often

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By *WB85Man 5 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Me and my partner both set up solo accounts a few months back, and the bullshit messages she's received are just shocking.

It's no wonder why solo men accounts are extremely difficult to get recognised.

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By *EGuyUkMan 5 weeks ago

Coventry

I apologise on behalf of those animals, many just don't think at all or they think with the other head... Ruins it for everyone else, but that's fab, been like that for years...

Lot of horny keyboard warriors and fakes, doubt it will ever get better.

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By *moothCriminal_xMan 5 weeks ago

Redditch

It makes almost no difference if you send highly thoughtful, funny, engaged 1st messages that show you have read their profile and have something to offer.

On another note - I'm straight and set my tinder and bumble to search everyone and within 72 hours i had 99+ right swipes awaiting a match whereas previously id had 2 matches in 12 months.

Looks like all guys.

Hopefully the algorithm just thinks im hot and shows me to more women now!

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By *raditional ManMan 5 weeks ago

London

What it takes for a new guy to meet someone in here? I find'it very difficult, I'm more traditional more face to face I don't really know how this online thing works. I'm not a Fisher man to throw the bate and wait for the fish to get a response I'm a hunter, I see the prey and I attack(face to face) ). Any advice? I'M NEW ON THIS

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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"What it takes for a new guy to meet someone in here? I find'it very difficult, I'm more traditional more face to face I don't really know how this online thing works. I'm not a Fisher man to throw the bate and wait for the fish to get a response I'm a hunter, I see the prey and I attack(face to face) ). Any advice? I'M NEW ON THIS"

My advice has always been the same.

Profile quality is far more important than message quality.

Always has been, always will be.

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By *oxy jWoman 5 weeks ago

somerset


"It makes almost no difference if you send highly thoughtful, funny, engaged 1st messages that show you have read their profile and have something to offer.

On another note - I'm straight and set my tinder and bumble to search everyone and within 72 hours i had 99+ right swipes awaiting a match whereas previously id had 2 matches in 12 months.

Looks like all guys.

Hopefully the algorithm just thinks im hot and shows me to more women now!"

well the big difference is fabs a swingers site not a hook up site .....

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple 5 weeks ago

Cumbria


"From a single male point, what is it you want to see in a message? We are aware most messages get lost in a sea of messages, I read profiles and try to tailor a opening message to the recipients profile but let’s be honest, we aren’t going to invest heavily in an opening message that in all probability may not even be opened. Often timing can be more important than the contents of the message! A first message is really just a hello, I find your profile attractive, it would be nice to get a hello back but otherwise just accept this as a compliment and move on. As you know OP, you can turn off receiving messages and then approach those that interest you."

It’s simple, be yourself.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple 5 weeks ago

Cumbria


"What it takes for a new guy to meet someone in here? I find'it very difficult, I'm more traditional more face to face I don't really know how this online thing works. I'm not a Fisher man to throw the bate and wait for the fish to get a response I'm a hunter, I see the prey and I attack(face to face) ). Any advice? I'M NEW ON THIS

My advice has always been the same.

Profile quality is far more important than message quality.

Always has been, always will be. "

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By *ysonfuryMan 5 weeks ago

Stockport

I always consider fab to be an extension of real life, there are good and bad couples, singles and guys. I've been lucky and met some great people on fab and tend to focus and send messages to those who have a positive outlook. That being said I don't have to manage hundreds of messages a day, it may be a bit different then. Happy fabbing everyone

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By *moothCriminal_xMan 5 weeks ago

Redditch


"It makes almost no difference if you send highly thoughtful, funny, engaged 1st messages that show you have read their profile and have something to offer.

On another note - I'm straight and set my tinder and bumble to search everyone and within 72 hours i had 99+ right swipes awaiting a match whereas previously id had 2 matches in 12 months.

Looks like all guys.

Hopefully the algorithm just thinks im hot and shows me to more women now!

well the big difference is fabs a swingers site not a hook up site ....."

Gatekeeping using that line is why people get frustrated too. Clearly single guys are outnumbered and classically swinging is abiut partner swapping rather than drawing on single guys but this is still a hookup site.

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By *ope_kisses22Couple 5 weeks ago

Cheshire

So.... ok the annoying single men msgs can be frustrating but tbh they just help us in filtering them out.

It really is quick and easy to just delete ...so we're not that fussed!

It makes the decent ones stand out IMO.

We all know this site has more men than women so.... maybe just filter/delete and block?

Happpyyyyyyyy fabbing folks lol

K

X

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By *tylebender03Man 5 weeks ago

Manchester

Single men are the real prize

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By *ohnnybai92Man 5 weeks ago

derry

Some boys are super sleazy and need to be banned off this when they're full of whiskey and class a narcotics

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By *rivervaderMan 5 weeks ago

bolton


"I’ve redone my bio loads of times even had a woman type out the last one

And how'd that work out ? Lol "

Still no joy lol

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By *heeliechairMan 5 weeks ago

Essex

As a single guy thank you for not being blinded by lack of manners, big egos and all the other shit that comes with it. As you say there are some good ones here still anyway enjoy your day and be well

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By *otswoldCurvesWoman 5 weeks ago

Cotswolds

Message filters are my friend.

No one outside my age range, must be verified, not new and has to have some photos ....

Helps cut down the dross

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By *r SensualMan 5 weeks ago

London


"Message filters are my friend.

No one outside my age range, must be verified, not new and has to have some photos ....

Helps cut down the dross"

It’s a wonder how many people choose NOT to take this approach. Guess it’s just easier to point the blame elsewhere and/or moan as opposed to taking responsibility themselves when it comes to being the change they wanna see…

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By *orny-DJMan 5 weeks ago

Leigh-on-Sea


"What might stop the Single Male spam is a restriction that the message must be at least X characters long. E.g. Some thought is needed to write it.

But this rule would need to spot ways around it. Like filling the message with full stops.

What I find useful, if I'm wishing to make initial contact, is when there's a subject word that has to be provided. This then proves I've actually read the profile which SM Spammers generally don't.

Then those that haven't bothered reading are easily identified.

That’s why lots of profiles will ask for a key word in your message title."

However, they usually put this word towards the end of their profile, so it's not incredibly difficult for some to 'get around' this by just scanning the last sentence or two of he profile - which is why I haven't bothered putting such a criteria on mine.

There are definitely other ways to tell if someone's bothered to read your profile

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By *weelightMan 5 weeks ago

Liverpool

This is just basic statistics. Men are in surplus (by a large margin) and the scarcity of women and couples (of whom many are not looking for men at all), you're going to get most of your inbox full of them.

Also, men know that the probability of getting a response from someone is infintesimally low, then they'll just make some low effort in their messaging and game, because even when significant time is invested on crafting your perfect message in iambic pentameter for good measure, that it's likely to be ignored.

As such, the time investment isn't worth it, and they'd be better learning something tangible in the time they'd be spending trying to contact someone who isn't even going to consider them. Learn the piano. Haha!

In a world of inverse and if men were the scarce commodity, it would be the same case but with single girls.

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By *bxanfCouple 5 weeks ago

Bilston/Dudley

Provided there is a decent attempt at a message we happily respond to single guys, but we get one for every twenty or so messages from single men.

They all usually send a picture of their dick or try and turn the conversation sexual, which is an instant block since we ask not to at the START of the profile.

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By *adCherriesCouple 5 weeks ago

Cheshire/Northwest

I open up the messaging filters from time to time and honestly never have loads of messages and the ones that do drop in, seem coherent.

I just have filters on because I'm too lazy to reply and feel bad not doing so.

Mrs

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By *ark ElMan 5 weeks ago

London


"Lots of entitled people on here op not just single guys ,but women and couples who expect you to jump through hoops just to get them to say hello as o swings and roundabouts ,now try the same experiment with just couples and share the results in 24hrs

I came on fab as a single woman looking for single women. Trust me. Even that was a graft as most fo my messages got completely ignored..... And I wrote lovely personal messages to all of them with face pic.

So trust me. I understand the pain and disappointment you guys must feel. I gave up VERY quickly and felt really deflated and crap about myself.

"

Wow. This says a lot!

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By *ark ElMan 5 weeks ago

London


"This is just basic statistics. Men are in surplus (by a large margin) and the scarcity of women and couples (of whom many are not looking for men at all), you're going to get most of your inbox full of them.

Also, men know that the probability of getting a response from someone is infintesimally low, then they'll just make some low effort in their messaging and game, because even when significant time is invested on crafting your perfect message in iambic pentameter for good measure, that it's likely to be ignored.

As such, the time investment isn't worth it, and they'd be better learning something tangible in the time they'd be spending trying to contact someone who isn't even going to consider them. Learn the piano. Haha!

In a world of inverse and if men were the scarce commodity, it would be the same case but with single girls."

You’re like a facts machine

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By *ink vixenCouple 5 weeks ago

Medway


"I open up the messaging filters from time to time and honestly never have loads of messages and the ones that do drop in, seem coherent.

I just have filters on because I'm too lazy to reply and feel bad not doing so.

Mrs "

We too are surprised by the quoted number of messages in a short period. (Perhaps we’re just more damn ugly!)

I would expect one of the “Fab for friend request” sort of profiles to attract this amount but…

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By *arried ExplorersCouple 5 weeks ago

Newark

We've recently opened up the couples profile to single men with a reduced age range on the status. Soooo many winks way outside the age range. A lot of messages way outside the age range. A handful of well written coherent messages.

These were looked at more carefully and considered.

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By *ucidxDreamsMan 5 weeks ago

Kent, London

A know a young lady friend who opened up an account, she had messages before she could even upload a photo or write a profile.

They can very easily get more messages in an hour than a group of decent guys can in about a year, I'm not even joking it's crazy.

I think she's going to block them and just message the ones she wants. Otherwise it's impossible, it would be literally taking on a second job to through the amount of messages she gets.

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By *weelightMan 5 weeks ago

Liverpool

This is the exact same formula as online dating. It's a buyers market. Its not hard to understand. Having said that, after ing through all the shit, there probably isn't much left for the girls to select from either.

On a site where everyone is on here for the same reason, and upfront the only thing you have in common is that one thing, it's impossible to set yourself apart from anyone else.

The only thing is if you are radically different looking (ie; smoking hot). Otherwise you're just a dog barking at a tree with a squirrel he will never catch.

I'm a kind, decent and well educated guy. But what does that really matter? Nobody is looking at my photos and going pwoaaar! ...and sadly, it's much of a muchness on here in terms of 'talent'.

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By *ev62Man 5 weeks ago

chatham

I've just recently joined the fab site really disappointed in the out look , I class myself as a decent person looking to find like-minded individuals for fun.

I'woukdnt consider myself ugly perhaps not in the vest shape ( belly lol) but working on it.

People want you to give them these messages that are so catchy they've got to b e interested , reality some messages aren't even looked at

I have no problem with a face picture alot of people won't even put pics up some not even a bio.so you're left saying ask me what you want to know.

I had a young lady husband bi contacted me and I remarked oh you play with bi men she led to believe she'd like to have one on one then said she didn't play solo.

By now you're t thinking he can talk!!! I guess yeah it's bum deal( pardon phrasing).

Yes I haven't got 12 inch dick you can swing off but I know Jo was tobhave sex and make love and behave like a gentleman . RANT OVER this is for all you guys n I t getting a fair chance !

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By *ev62Man 5 weeks ago

chatham

Please excuse spelling mistakes possibly where I've gone wrong on this site

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By *hecouplenextdoor1Couple 5 weeks ago

Blackburn

That said… and we have had same issue on the past.. you send wink… messages to single females who don’t ever open messages

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By *otswoldCurvesWoman 5 weeks ago

Cotswolds


"Message filters are my friend.

No one outside my age range, must be verified, not new and has to have some photos ....

Helps cut down the dross

It’s a wonder how many people choose NOT to take this approach. Guess it’s just easier to point the blame elsewhere and/or moan as opposed to taking responsibility themselves when it comes to being the change they wanna see… "

I also try to reply politely and kindly to as many messages as possible saying no thank you when I am not interested. And use block when guys won't take no for an answer

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago


"

I came on fab as a single woman looking for single women. Trust me. Even that was a graft as most fo my messages got completely ignored..... And I wrote lovely personal messages to all of them with face pic.

So trust me. I understand the pain and disappointment you guys must feel. I gave up VERY quickly and felt really deflated and crap about myself.

Nail and head.

I've spent up to an hour reading a profile and writing a message only to have it deleted unread.

Only last week I had a message come in and my wee heart jumped for joy - it was a couple who showed some interest, they wanted a face pic.

I said there was one on my profile and they sent through their number.

I took a selfie and fired it over and the next thing I know I get a message saying I'm not what she's interested in.

They uploaded some photos a day later and jesus H corbitt, the state of it, the mess, the clutter, all that was needed was a pair of pants with some skids on the floor and we'd have been done. And that's before I start on what was spread on the sofa... My eyeballs needed counselling - and I'm no oil painting by any stretch.

So I just don't now. I want to write to so many women and couples, but I always feel that if i'm what they're after or of interest they'll come to me in the first instance, and in reality there's much better competition than me out there, so I'll go to some socials and if anyone like the make of me, they can talk to me there."

If I like someone I write a brief but nice message and send a face pic straight away. That way you don’t waste too much time - they can decide if they like the look of you right off the bat

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago


"What it takes for a new guy to meet someone in here? I find'it very difficult, I'm more traditional more face to face I don't really know how this online thing works. I'm not a Fisher man to throw the bate and wait for the fish to get a response I'm a hunter, I see the prey and I attack(face to face) ). Any advice? I'M NEW ON THIS"

Happy to provide feedback if you are asking specifically

But generally a decent profile that gives a sense of the person and some good pics works. I just delete messages if there is no profile pic and someone who sends a face pic in a massage is far more likely to get a reply x

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago

I feel this. I get hard times

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By *ickD80Man 5 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Hi OP, I’ve read your profile (yes some single males do read profiles) and it quite clearly states that you aren’t looking for single males, also single males aren’t in the list of what you’re looking for. So when you turned off the filter to make it possible for single males to message you did you also remove the section of your profile that says you aren’t looking for single males and add single males to what you’re looking for? You didn’t say in your post that you did so I’m assuming you didn’t.

In which case your experiment is completely pointless because all you’ve proven is that single males who don’t read profiles or don’t respect people’s wishes, send direct and to the point messages just asking for sex rather than unique, tailored messages….any respectful single males who read and react to people’s profiles aren’t going to send a message to someone who says in their profile that they aren’t interested in meeting single males.

If you want to claim to have carried out an experiment to evaluate the behaviour of all single males I suggest you redo your experiment with that part of your profile removed and single males added to the list of what you’re looking for so that your findings aren’t completely skewed like the results of your first experiment are.

What you’ve basically done isn’t much different to writing in your profile ‘if you read this don’t message me’ and then complained that the only people who message you are ones that haven’t read your profile….

Unless of course you did remove that from your profile and add single males to the list of what you’re looking for but conveniently forgot to mention it in your post.

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By *acky RacersCouple 5 weeks ago

Lincoln

Just wait until AI becomes common place on apps like this. AI will be able to read profiles, identify likes and even write in the style of the recipients profile. I am currently using AI in a work capacity and the results of what it is able to produce, are staggering.

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By *acky RacersCouple 5 weeks ago

Lincoln

[Removed by poster at 28/03/24 22:00:33]

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By *ickD80Man 5 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Also, by carrying out your experiment from 10pm until first thing in the morning you’re not evaluating anywhere near the full spectrum of single males, you’re results are based on research gathered from evaluating a small sample of the full population. Single males online after 10pm are much more likely to be intoxicated in some way and therefore much less likely to read profiles and send polite messages and much more likely to be horny and sending very direct messages. For your findings to be remotely valid you would need to leave the filter off for 24 hours minimum but that’s not really long enough to cover an adequate sample size, you’d need to do it for about a week for your results to be valid and worth evaluating. If you stood in the middle of a city centre at 10pm and surveyed people walking past you’d get a completely different set of results than if you did it at 9am wouldn’t you? It’s exactly the same here.

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By *londebiguyMan 5 weeks ago

Southport

I just do not approach anyone with messages or pics.

I'm happy and open to chatting but I just let it happen.

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By *he Man Who Loves CurvesMan 5 weeks ago

LONDON


"What it takes for a new guy to meet someone in here? I find'it very difficult, I'm more traditional more face to face I don't really know how this online thing works. I'm not a Fisher man to throw the bate and wait for the fish to get a response I'm a hunter, I see the prey and I attack(face to face) ). Any advice? I'M NEW ON THIS

Happy to provide feedback if you are asking specifically

But generally a decent profile that gives a sense of the person and some good pics works. I just delete messages if there is no profile pic and someone who sends a face pic in a massage is far more likely to get a reply x"

If I were to write you a message-say-would my profile picture be included in any message I sent you or would I have to send it to you from my profile?

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By *ames250122Man 5 weeks ago

Worcester


"Sometimes we feel single guys on here are given a hard time (pardon the pun) and a bad rep due to the actions of a few bad apples. We read all the time about constant hassling, not reading profiles but expecting they'll be your type, demanding a meet up now etc etc.

As an experiment last night, we turned on the filter back to allowing single male profiles to wink and message us.

Went to bed at 10pm, with 0 new winks and 1 unread message.

Logged on this morning to 124 winks and 97 messages - all but two winks from single males and all but 4 messages (including the message from last night) from single males.

Spent the last hour going through and deleting the messages - all of them followed the same tones of "hey How are you?" "You're incredibly sexy, I'd love to fuck you" "meet me?" "Come and fuck me, I'm bigger than your hubby and ill give you better sex".

Turned the filter back off, I can now see why some people have had problems or negative opinions!

I know it's not every single guy on here but some of them....it's absolutely no wonder they've had no meets or no luck!

C xxx "

Your forum post C was really warming to read in parts and I’m sorry the result from giving singles a chance on here resulted in a flood of crude and disrespectful messages. Sadly though it doesn’t surprise me that you where inundated with such one line messages as a couple I’m fortunate to know have told me similar stories when they’ve turned off their filter for a short while. Why they do it is beyond me. All it’s done is made Fab a much more hostile environment towards single guys, when it’s already difficult enough trying to chat with new people because of the much bigger number of guys on here. I really hope it changes for everyone sake as it just spoils fab for everyone xx

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By *bflirtyCouple 5 weeks ago

Milton Keynes


"It is literally constant.

But occasionally, you find a fantastic guy! We swapped to club only meets which really elevated our "hunt" for single guys and made the process so much easier.

Granted, I know that's not for everyone ofcourse! "

We are 99% club meets now but don’t really mind the 100s of messages, sometimes it can be fun sifting through the outrageous and sublime requests. Some are so bizarre that we respond to see exactly what the end game is. Once in a blue moon we will actually meet someone if they catch us in just the right moment.

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By *ottsswingerMan 4 weeks ago

Derby

Interesting read and as a single male has left me with a question, what advice would you give us to talking to couple or females to avoid the hi hello etc ? Would it be better for me to open and start by talking about myself or am I missing something?

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By *ames250122Man 4 weeks ago

Worcester

Sounds good to me, as long as you’re polite and respectful what else can you do. Unless there are any specific subjects they would like new contacts to mention in your first message on their profile you . Your messaging strangers in hope of getting to know them a bit better so you can have better conversations. So unless they reply and invest a similar interest it’s not really possible to send a really interesting or appealing first message other than by pure coincidence

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By *exyass99777Couple 4 weeks ago

Manchester

The big problem we have is one of my fantasises is to be with another guy and Adam. It’s what we came on here for and still haven’t done it yet. We have had a lot of cam fun which I have loved, we started to build up trust with a guy then he disappeared, and most are just on here for masturbating material. We get the same messages from the same guys now which are often just cut and pasted, it’s nearly impossible.

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By *esparate danMan 4 weeks ago

glasgow


"The big problem we have is one of my fantasises is to be with another guy and Adam. It’s what we came on here for and still haven’t done it yet. We have had a lot of cam fun which I have loved, we started to build up trust with a guy then he disappeared, and most are just on here for masturbating material. We get the same messages from the same guys now which are often just cut and pasted, it’s nearly impossible. "

How invested are you in finding the 'right' guy vs finding someone who is good enough to provide the extra firepower you want to embellish what you have together?

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By *afexMan 4 weeks ago

crewe

For me being on here , I accept the fact that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea physically or relationship status wise .

I have spent along time reading profiles and usually right a decent message and supply a face picture .

Knowing the ratios I am either deleted for not being what people look for or deleted due to not having verification .

I feel all people can be quite dismissive and selective and to be fair even when you start a conversation it has to be two way . Some people can’t manage that or are not that interested in the first place .

Either way always be respectful and patient .

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By *arryandhedgehogCouple 4 weeks ago

Thurrock

Sadly it’s not just a few it’s alot, the good genuine men are in a minority. While some women/couples are on here looking for just low effort sex what most male accounts don’t care about or fail to realise is alot of people aren’t just looking random encounters and enjoy the social side of things or building a rapport

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By *lossomTreeWoman 3 weeks ago

Ipswich

Similar experience recently.

Opened my mail box at 11am, shut it at 8am next day.

Didn't count messages but there was a lot.

First message was "hi babe amazing tits"

Some from Scotland and Manchester...

Of the 3 I was interested in 2 were blocked for being pushy after I told them I was taking my time deciding who to respond to.

One asked to move to Whats App, another felt multiple messages within minutes was appropriate - some containing nothing more than ?

The third gave me info by message that didn't quite fit with his profile.

Until the next time I'm crazy enough to do it

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By *lossomTreeWoman 3 weeks ago

Ipswich

I also got a crazy amount of winks and over 500 profile views

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By *r SensualMan 3 weeks ago

London

Can bet my dollar those floods of messages from thirsty, creepy and pushy men don’t even know about the forums, let alone would they come to read a thread like this so really this “experiment” is, and was pretty pointless…

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By *eardedguy600Man 3 weeks ago

Kidderminster

I’m always try and send an interesting message. Never crude. If there’s info on the profile, I try to link that to my message. I know as an older guy it’s 10 times more difficult to get responses. So I manage my expectations. It’s frustrating if I get a ‘ Hi Babe/ Hun’ reply and that’s it…I’d rather be deleted.

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