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Body dismorphia and the lifestyle
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Ive found it a boost. I was a professional ballerina and sadly used to being screamed at for putting on an ounce, discussed negatively in terms of body shape by strangers like i wasn’t in the room and encouraged to follow a diet that was unsustainable and unhealthy.
As I've got older, clubs especially have encouraged me to accept what i like and don’t like as you see all sorts of shapes and sizes having fun, with confidence and swagger. I’ve found it genuinely beneficial and affirming. |
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"The title should have read, body confidence in the lifestyle.
I have times where I struggle , and other times where I don't. I was just curious about other people's experiences in this area."
I think I might feel reluctant to get naked in the company of people in their 20s and 30s. 🤔 |
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I was really body conscious before I started swinging. Then bit the bullet and went to a naked day at a swingers club. I hugged my towel. 10 years later, I couldnt give a monkeys any more. So much more confident. All body shapes and sizes are so different. Being brought up feeling I was the 'fat friend' swinging gave me so much more confidence x |
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By *erdyguy45Man 9 weeks ago
Solihull/milton keynes & other |
I have always had issue with my body confidence and despite the meets I've had saying I look good it hasn't changed how I feel.
I think it's cause I know if I lose weight and can get to my goal I know I look better.
Doesn't however stop me enjoying myself. Just sits in the back of my mind |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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Not that I have experienced the other side but I imagine this is a place that would reduce male happiness with themselves and increase female (not to the exclusion of trans men/women of course) |
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I think it depends on who you connect with. Somone that values connection and laughs over looks can make you feel more confident. Although as someone who ran a pub for years, seeing younger and younger girls ages 18 and getting lip fillers, Botox makes me kinda sad and worrie about the fake standard of tiktok beauty. Also young guys pumping tren and roids into a body that's not fully developed. It makes you wonder what impact social media has on the self image of the young. I used to be a skinny emo kid now I got a hairy dad bod and some people don't like it and some people do and I'm fine with that  |
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By *WB85Man 9 weeks ago
Staffordshire |
For me its a great lifestyle for body confidence.
But mental health i think it can be really bad for. I come and go a lot from the website for that very reason and focus on people I've already connected with.
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"I think it depends on who you connect with. Somone that values connection and laughs over looks can make you feel more confident. Although as someone who ran a pub for years, seeing younger and younger girls ages 18 and getting lip fillers, Botox makes me kinda sad and worrie about the fake standard of tiktok beauty. Also young guys pumping tren and roids into a body that's not fully developed. It makes you wonder what impact social media has on the self image of the young. I used to be a skinny emo kid now I got a hairy dad bod and some people don't like it and some people do and I'm fine with that "
Completely agree. I see some of my colleagues - young men and women having botox done, clearly using something to help them bulk whilst being very lean.
And it's like, what life is this. Okay at 22-26 I went to the gym to put muscle on but it was holistic and part of overall fitness.
Then on the flip side I feel a bit shitty in myself, seeing endless ripped and big guys that I struggle to stand out from.
But my main concern is the health of others.
As for this post, I guess some people will feel really confident on here, personally I'm a bit nervous until I've built rapour with someone |
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By *aandLoCouple 9 weeks ago
Southampton |
I've always felt disappointed with my body to varying degrees. Often comparing it with those I consider to be 'better.' That could be slimmer, more shapely bum, bigger tits, and definitely perkier tits! 🤣
I do work hard to maintain a reasonable level of fitness and most of the time I'm content, but occasionally I feel awful in certain lingerie sets. I then spend ages trying on different sets until I find one that works. In reality I know I won't be judged for my body in clubs, and at parties, so feel confident once there.
On Fab though when profiles say they like slim/fit/trim etc, I automatically exclude us. Hubbie is overweight and I feel I'm not slim/fit/trim enough. And any mention of "sexy" and I don't read any further. |
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This is a fascinating topic and I do wonder if there is a gender difference also. But I digress.
Before this lifestyle, I knew I was ugly and fat and I hated my body.
I first came into this through a bi route. And being very very blunt, men didn't care so much about what I looked like. And I really think they don't. They just wanted an orgasm and go (mine or theirs). I think that allowed me to become more confident with my body and what I do with it.
Fast forward 10 years and I know now what I want and how to get it. My head. Inside my head I know that I just want to help the woman I'm with be comfortable, confident to go to their boundaries and explore safely. That takes the pressure off myself.
I know looking good is part of it, I'm not denying it, but what does "looking good" mean?
When you click ... Is there anything better? We're both on the same wavelength and we know what we want to do. Notice I didn't mention what we look like ...
When you click, the physical is what is there in front of you, the connection is key.
Finally, 4 years ago I went to a nudist beach in Wales. And that's where I had my final understanding. When clothed people took interest in just talking about being a nudist. I realised that this body is mine. I do with it what I want. It's my choice.
And that have me a hugely positive connection to my own self through my body. I stood confidently talking to people, some blokes commented how my confidence was something to be admired and their wives encouraged them to get naked in the beach too. It was funny when I look back at it all. There's some photos out there on camera phones of 2 naked blokes on a beach that wives took. Most said how good I looked... Technically it's dad bod, but it's my body and I'm proud of what I am.
So my advice would be that Trinny and Susannah moment where you look at yourself in the mirror and say ... This is what I'm working with. If the viewer of you isn't attracted, then you probably aren't going to click... Their loss, because you know what you can do with your body and what you want doing to you and why and how. That will give you the confidence to stand proud with your body. You'll find the connections, the click and you can then ignore the dickheads. It's a wonderful body.
Good luck with connecting to your body. It's an amazing thing we all have and look forward to your journey of discovery x big hugs x |
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This is one of the reasons I decided to go the a Naturist Spa. I’ve always hated my body having been bullied at school and my dad always telling me I’d put weight on, even in my 50’s he still does it. Over the years this massively affected my confidence and how I view myself. Even when people tell me I look great (I’m nearly 53 5’9 & 12 1/2 Stone) I don’t agree with them and become quite dismissive.
To help with my confidence I decided on the kill or cure route where I’d have no option but to be naked around others in a communal environment and it has helped. I can sit comfortably and have conversation with someone how is completely naked and not feel conscious about my own body at all. It’s made me realise we are all different and so many people worry about the same thing, it’s a work in progress but I’d honestly say the Naturist Spa has really helped me on the way to being happier in my own skin |
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I've always had body dysmorphia and I will say, being in the scene has improved it a lot. Not because I'm seeking validation, but I've learnt to give less of a fuck. Life is short and I'm here for a fun time |
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"For me, it gave me body confidence. But that could also be with age too x"
This ⬆️ is how it's worked for me also. I am the age I am & never going to have the body I had 35 years ago pre children. I try to maintain a healthy lifestyle with regards to my diet & fitness, but I love my food & drink! And I'm like, "this is me now, warts & all"! You don't like it?? IDGAF quite frankly💁🏽♀️ because I like it, accept it & if you don't, DO ONE!👋🏼👋🏼
Plenty more fish in the sea here ta very much!🎣 |
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"The title should have read, body confidence in the lifestyle.
I have times where I struggle , and other times where I don't. I was just curious about other people's experiences in this area.
I think I might feel reluctant to get naked in the company of people in their 20s and 30s. 🤔"
Fortunately I've found little club that predominantly attracts 40's and over so my own inadequacies seem to be less bothersome  |
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"Does the life style boost your body confidence or highlights your own perceived flaws?"
For me the lifestyle does both, it gives me such a confidence boost after an event but on the run up to walking through those doors it’s a whole different story xx |
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F here I have struggled for years I was body shamed in school and by exs and it stuck I have been big small and everything in between but swinging has given me so much confidence and I look better at 40 than I did at 20 |
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By *elkieWoman 8 weeks ago
Durham |
For me - and I’m a fat lass - it’s been a positive experience, because it’s not what i look like that makes me sexy. It’s the person I am and my attitude. There are people who don’t find me attractive, and I’m fine with that. There are also people who will be very upfront about how much they enjoy my body though, and that’s enpowering as fuck. No matter what you look like, you’re someone’s ideal type. |
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By *JohnMan 8 weeks ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Going to a club did great things for my confidence. I have never liked my body (I still don't). On the rare occasions I went swimming I'd wear a shirt because I didn't want anyone to see me.
In the club, that changed. I was naked in a hot tub with a bunch of naked strangers, and no one cared. People liked me. When I eventually summoned the courage to ask to play, some of them said yes.
My body didn't change. Instead, I learned that everyone else thought about my body the same way that I thought about theirs - if there's a decent person inside, the outside doesn't matter |
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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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Id say for me its probably more affected me negativity in terms of body confidence and confidence in general. Not nearly as confident as I was when joined the site. But I like the lifestyle and want to be in it. Double edged sword really. |
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I'm not at all confident in how I look & I think the site has just reinforced that. But I'm not looking for platitudes & sometimes I am what some one is looking for,but not often. Sucks but I just live it |
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I have keloid scars all over my body - I had chicken pox when I was 9 or 10 and almost all of them are scars from that (I’m… 23 years old. Have been for over a decade, too…). Basically, any injury to the skin and there’s a 50 50 chance the scarring won’t stop scarring over. I’ve hated them my whole life, and they can’t be removed without them reappearing larger than before.
I thought they’d be the singular focus of me, but I found that not only are they not, but they’re either unnoticeable or people are just too polite to ask about them. I dunno if this counts as body dysmorphia |
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"Does the life style boost your body confidence or highlights your own perceived flaws?"
Body dismorphia is more than lack of body confidence it's a mental illness , obsessive behaviour etc. it's actually very common with people that work out.
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