FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Why do so many couples demand going raw?
Why do so many couples demand going raw?
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So I've had some couples approach me for meeting up (threesomes, cuck situations etc) and almost every time they have a preference for going raw. I play safe as of course everyone's a stranger and I take my precautions for my health, but it ends up being something that puts them off.
I understand that raw feels a lot better, it's much hotter too with cream pies etc. however I don't get how people are just comfortable going raw the very first time or without seeing test results at least. Isn't it very risky? It puts me off as it implies they don't take their sexual health serious.
Or maybe I'm being paranoid about it, and it's not that much of a risk? I don't know but interested to see everyone's thoughts |
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By *WB85Man 2 weeks ago
Staffordshire |
Everyone has their preferences, if theirs dont match yours....then you aren't a match.
I've always found it significantly the other way where couples want to play safe and singles aren't as concerned.
Stick to your guns and dont be forced to change your boundaries. |
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"Everyone has their preferences, if theirs dont match yours....then you aren't a match.
I've always found it significantly the other way where couples want to play safe and singles aren't as concerned.
Stick to your guns and dont be forced to change your boundaries."
Yeah definitely everyone is entitled to their preference, I still find it odd when they demand it when my profile is very clear on it.
And yes I do stick to my boundaries everytime |
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Just do your best to filter that out at the messaging stage or if meeting in person before the clothes come off. It's easy to drop a hint.
Regardless of condoms or not, do ensure you get tested now and again. The more regular you meet the more regular you should. |
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People can ask for what they like but I'm definitely not giving it unless I feel comfortable.
Raw for me would be an instant no., sexual health is important and I think you need to know someone and have met a few times before I even considered it.
Test results are only as good on the day, things can hide for weeks etc anyway. |
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We met a guy who was new to all this and had just come out of a long marriage. He looked really confused when I asked Mr N for a condom lol. He made sure he came prepared next time.
Then there was the couple where the guy said " I think we trust each other enough not to need condoms"  bless his heart he must have thought it was our first day on earth |
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I test regularly as stated in my bio and have had people ask for my test results, I go to my local clinic and they test for everything, but I don't get a printout or message with the results for others to see it just states test results all clear. I do this because I'm allergic to condoms, always have been. |
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"Test results are only as good on the day, things can hide for weeks etc anyway. "
Exactly, never any harm in doing them now and then. Better than never, and it's all on individuals to manage risk.
When we first met at a we didn't use condoms. We eventually caught a case of marriage, which isnt easy to shake off.  |
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"Just do your best to filter that out at the messaging stage or if meeting in person before the clothes come off. It's easy to drop a hint.
Regardless of condoms or not, do ensure you get tested now and again. The more regular you meet the more regular you should."
I'm always straight up about it the talking stage. Which is also where things breakdown. I never get in a situation where someone doesn't know my boundaries beforehand |
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"People can ask for what they like but I'm definitely not giving it unless I feel comfortable.
Raw for me would be an instant no., sexual health is important and I think you need to know someone and have met a few times before I even considered it.
Test results are only as good on the day, things can hide for weeks etc anyway. "
Absolutely agree with you there, no way am I trusting a complete stranger that quick |
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"We met a guy who was new to all this and had just come out of a long marriage. He looked really confused when I asked Mr N for a condom lol. He made sure he came prepared next time.
Then there was the couple where the guy said " I think we trust each other enough not to need condoms" bless his heart he must have thought it was our first day on earth "
Yeah some try to find ways around it always. "Oh oral without and then fucking with?" Like yeah pal that's not going to work |
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" I test regularly as stated in my bio and have had people ask for my test results, I go to my local clinic and they test for everything, but I don't get a printout or message with the results for others to see it just states test results all clear. I do this because I'm allergic to condoms, always have been. "
Are you allergic latex? You can get latex free ones. It's interesting a woman wanted me to fuck raw because she was allergic to condoms |
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"When i met a couple with my partner, it was at a club. We were in separate rooms, he tried for bare with me & she also pushed for it with my Partber. We respectfully declined. "
Did you guys still go ahead and play protected? |
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By *enelope2UWoman 5 days ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"So I've had some couples approach me for meeting up (threesomes, cuck situations etc) and almost every time they have a preference for going raw. I play safe as of course everyone's a stranger and I take my precautions for my health, but it ends up being something that puts them off.
I understand that raw feels a lot better, it's much hotter too with cream pies etc. however I don't get how people are just comfortable going raw the very first time or without seeing test results at least. Isn't it very risky? It puts me off as it implies they don't take their sexual health serious.
Or maybe I'm being paranoid about it, and it's not that much of a risk? I don't know but interested to see everyone's thoughts "
It wouldn't be worth those txt strokes...non compatible is non compatible! Period |
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We are all as individuals responsible for our boundaries and sexual health. It is a risk assessment we all do. There is no problem with couples asking for unprotected sex and there is no problem to sayings no thanks. We are all sovereign adults and we all play this game how we see fit. If you're not happy with the terms you say no. It's not that deep. |
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"We are all as individuals responsible for our boundaries and sexual health. It is a risk assessment we all do. There is no problem with couples asking for unprotected sex and there is no problem to sayings no thanks. We are all sovereign adults and we all play this game how we see fit. If you're not happy with the terms you say no. It's not that deep."
You're right, they're in their right to demand that. What I have a problem with, however, is when they either havent read my profile, or don't want to consider my boundaries too and want to enforce theirs! |
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"I've been asked for Bareback many times but always refuse, Im a safety girl 
And I'm a safety boy! Just wished couples read my profile before contacting me!"
They just want to use and abuse you. How many of those couples approaching you are older and how many are your own age.
Certain predatory couples want to make a man or a woman their personal sex sl*ve without informed consent. Be very careful especially if you prefer the submissive role.
I'm a switch so I know what should happen as a dominant or a top. Not many are aware.
I met an older man who was a bull for the wife of many couples. He felt like they were using and discarding him making him feel empty. He's not trying to create a more balance group play activity so the power dynamic is not so skewed to only the couple. Be wary of couples making you their whipping boy or in the case of women, whipping girl.  |
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I always just assume they already have some contagious shit and are just wanting to pass it on to everyone. No other reason why they would demand bare from someone they have never met and know nothing about. I just block them when they say bareback |
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"We are all as individuals responsible for our boundaries and sexual health. It is a risk assessment we all do. There is no problem with couples asking for unprotected sex and there is no problem to sayings no thanks. We are all sovereign adults and we all play this game how we see fit. If you're not happy with the terms you say no. It's not that deep."
This mindset is why kinksters and naturists don't like swingers.
Coercive control of vulnerable adults and lack of consideration of the power dynamics amongst adults with different capabilities, experiences and knowledge. Playing an exploitative game.
It is that deep for some people. I've spoken to enough people who had sexual trauma inflicted on them as adults by other adults to know that you need to be fucking empathetic with sex and another person's body is not just an object to get your rocks off with.
Some people experience a freeze response when triggered sexually and can't actually say no.
There are some people who pull off the condom stealthing like it's no big deal half way through.
If they are not careful to read a profile, whose to say they are careful enough not to fuck about mid shag.
OP is right to be cautious especially of people who think it's a a game. Because games have winners and losers.
I'd rather be in an environment where there are no losers sexually so it's not a game to me. I give a fuck about my poly partners and my metamours and their family who depends on them. I read their profiles and messages careful and don't disregard their boundaries because people have weaknesses and sometimes say yes to things they regret later on. |
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"I always just assume they already have some contagious shit and are just wanting to pass it on to everyone. No other reason why they would demand bare from someone they have never met and know nothing about. I just block them when they say bareback"
These people just don't care about anything but getting their rocks off. They don't read profiles and message in the hopes that the person will break their boundaries for them. Or for some they enjoy forcing other people to push boundaries. They miss a critical element: they are forcing their desires on other people. That's coercive control and *buse.
This is like when I tell people I'm straight. Because a lot of people in their head believe that all female swingers are bisexual. They will try to get me to engage is bisexual activity which I just declined and saying like a damn parrot: I'm clinically straight touching with a woman reminds me of the breast clinc or the gynaecology clinic...devoid of any sexual arousal what so ever.
For some they enjoy wearing down and chasing their target.
There was a woman on Fab whose husband eventually wore her down to do lots of things she regretted. Everyone else assumed that she was saying yes because she wanted to and never stopped to treat her like a human. If she had been treated with more consideration she would have revealed that she was being controlled. Unfortunately the people involved treated her like a gloryhole. Open for business all comers. Condom or no condom. Smh.
Yes she was a vulnerable adult. |
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"I always just assume they already have some contagious shit and are just wanting to pass it on to everyone. No other reason why they would demand bare from someone they have never met and know nothing about. I just block them when they say bareback
These people just don't care about anything but getting their rocks off. They don't read profiles and message in the hopes that the person will break their boundaries for them. Or for some they enjoy forcing other people to push boundaries. They miss a critical element: they are forcing their desires on other people. That's coercive control and *buse.
This is like when I tell people I'm straight. Because a lot of people in their head believe that all female swingers are bisexual. They will try to get me to engage is bisexual activity which I just declined and saying like a damn parrot: I'm clinically straight touching with a woman reminds me of the breast clinc or the gynaecology clinic...devoid of any sexual arousal what so ever.
For some they enjoy wearing down and chasing their target.
There was a woman on Fab whose husband eventually wore her down to do lots of things she regretted. Everyone else assumed that she was saying yes because she wanted to and never stopped to treat her like a human. If she had been treated with more consideration she would have revealed that she was being controlled. Unfortunately the people involved treated her like a gloryhole. Open for business all comers. Condom or no condom. Smh.
Yes she was a vulnerable adult."
Indeed, my profile clearly states that "I'll only tie up your wife if she wants me to." In fact she's going to have to beg 
Too many doing anything to "please" their husband. |
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"I've been asked for Bareback many times but always refuse, Im a safety girl
And I'm a safety boy! Just wished couples read my profile before contacting me!
They just want to use and abuse you. How many of those couples approaching you are older and how many are your own age.
Certain predatory couples want to make a man or a woman their personal sex sl*ve without informed consent. Be very careful especially if you prefer the submissive role.
I'm a switch so I know what should happen as a dominant or a top. Not many are aware.
I met an older man who was a bull for the wife of many couples. He felt like they were using and discarding him making him feel empty. He's not trying to create a more balance group play activity so the power dynamic is not so skewed to only the couple. Be wary of couples making you their whipping boy or in the case of women, whipping girl. "
Yeah they have been usually older than me. And yes I am usually more submissive. That's interesting I've never thought about being abused or used like that, I guess it's not something men are taught about |
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"I always just assume they already have some contagious shit and are just wanting to pass it on to everyone. No other reason why they would demand bare from someone they have never met and know nothing about. I just block them when they say bareback"
Yeah I've had that thought too, if they just don't give a shit, maybe they have something and aren't bothered about penetrating raw |
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"We are all as individuals responsible for our boundaries and sexual health. It is a risk assessment we all do. There is no problem with couples asking for unprotected sex and there is no problem to sayings no thanks. We are all sovereign adults and we all play this game how we see fit. If you're not happy with the terms you say no. It's not that deep.
This mindset is why kinksters and naturists don't like swingers.
Coercive control of vulnerable adults and lack of consideration of the power dynamics amongst adults with different capabilities, experiences and knowledge. Playing an exploitative game.
It is that deep for some people. I've spoken to enough people who had sexual trauma inflicted on them as adults by other adults to know that you need to be fucking empathetic with sex and another person's body is not just an object to get your rocks off with.
Some people experience a freeze response when triggered sexually and can't actually say no.
There are some people who pull off the condom stealthing like it's no big deal half way through.
If they are not careful to read a profile, whose to say they are careful enough not to fuck about mid shag.
OP is right to be cautious especially of people who think it's a a game. Because games have winners and losers.
I'd rather be in an environment where there are no losers sexually so it's not a game to me. I give a fuck about my poly partners and my metamours and their family who depends on them. I read their profiles and messages careful and don't disregard their boundaries because people have weaknesses and sometimes say yes to things they regret later on."
Absolutely it's so important to have everyone on board and happy with the situation. If one person is uncomfortable it's just not good. Another thing I noticed often is how the female half is sometimes not involved at all, which shows it's prob the male half pushing for it |
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"I always just assume they already have some contagious shit and are just wanting to pass it on to everyone. No other reason why they would demand bare from someone they have never met and know nothing about. I just block them when they say bareback
These people just don't care about anything but getting their rocks off. They don't read profiles and message in the hopes that the person will break their boundaries for them. Or for some they enjoy forcing other people to push boundaries. They miss a critical element: they are forcing their desires on other people. That's coercive control and *buse.
This is like when I tell people I'm straight. Because a lot of people in their head believe that all female swingers are bisexual. They will try to get me to engage is bisexual activity which I just declined and saying like a damn parrot: I'm clinically straight touching with a woman reminds me of the breast clinc or the gynaecology clinic...devoid of any sexual arousal what so ever.
For some they enjoy wearing down and chasing their target.
There was a woman on Fab whose husband eventually wore her down to do lots of things she regretted. Everyone else assumed that she was saying yes because she wanted to and never stopped to treat her like a human. If she had been treated with more consideration she would have revealed that she was being controlled. Unfortunately the people involved treated her like a gloryhole. Open for business all comers. Condom or no condom. Smh.
Yes she was a vulnerable adult.
Indeed, my profile clearly states that "I'll only tie up your wife if she wants me to." In fact she's going to have to beg
Too many doing anything to "please" their husband. "
Some guys contacted me and wanted me to seduce their wives! Complete weirdos |
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"I know testing is a sign to your partners that your serious about your health but it’s only good up till the day you took it "
Yeah you're right, I think it's the attitude though rather than just testing. Someone who's willing to do that has some level of honesty which can be useful when building trust with a play partner |
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