FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Confidence gone
Confidence gone
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"Sorry to hear you feel that way OP. I am certain you're not alone. 🫂 Just a few things that come to mind having been (and sometimes still suffer from) in your shoes with regard to self confidence. Is the lack of confidence in the scene only, or in general? Is there something specific that is dragging your confidence down? Could you set yourself some goals to change that? Are you able to focus on 'showing off' all your positive attributes? I find for me the other things seem less visible. Hope you find some useful tips on this thread. x Real life has been tough the last couple of years and that may impact but primarily I think it is about my own personal sense of self (put weight on, got older etc) I am back on the gym but the gym in your 50s is very different to the gym in your twenties " | ||||
"Hi all We have been around a while but have been really busy with real life for the last couple of years. Now we are both still swingers at heart but me (Beau-the male) is suffering from a total lack of confidence. Not posting this for sympathy but wondering how others got themselves out of a rut?" A lack of confidence in what regard? Me and my husband both have experience of things like mental health issues, body confidence issues etc - but what advice we would give depends on what your particular issue is? Looking at your profile you both look great and come across really well. Don’t push getting back into the scene if you aren’t feeling it right now. J xx | ||||
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"Hi all We have been around a while but have been really busy with real life for the last couple of years. Now we are both still swingers at heart but me (Beau-the male) is suffering from a total lack of confidence. Not posting this for sympathy but wondering how others got themselves out of a rut?" you need to know the source of it, is it fear of rejection or self awareness, these are cognitive thinking which 99% of time isn't true,learn how to challenge the thoughts by logic, I hope you get better | ||||
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"It sounds like you're on the right path with going to the gym, and watching your diet. More important than focusing on the kgs you lose physically, perhaps focus on the progress you make in your program - every additional kg you lift is progress. Be proud of those achievements. You mention other challenges in your life you've faced in recent years. You're here, saying how you feel and how to want to bring about change. That's bold, that's courageous For us as a couple clubs are not just a sex opportunity but a social one. As people have already said don't put yourself under pressure to look for play opportunities, just go to enjoy the saucy chats, watching others and enjoying being around like minded people. Progress and change don't happen overnight. Celebrate the small wins, and give it time. x" Thank you. Weirdly fab people are a great support.xxx | ||||
"Hi all We have been around a while but have been really busy with real life for the last couple of years. Now we are both still swingers at heart but me (Beau-the male) is suffering from a total lack of confidence. Not posting this for sympathy but wondering how others got themselves out of a rut?" Maybe I am not the best person to answer. However, I will give my perspective or opinion which has helped me in life if I may? I live life never taking anything for granted or expecting anything really. If something happens then that’s great and a positive. If something doesn’t then it’s fine and in life nothing is ever promised to you. At the end of the day not everyone will have the same experiences, but if you learn to become an introspective person, you’ll be much happier. For example, if something happens, I never look to blame anyone or at anyone else. I will always look at myself to see where I can improve or what I can learn because the only person’s actions and mindset we can change, is our own. Furthermore, I have also realised a long time ago that there is no point in stressing or getting upset over things which have happened or are out of your control. It wont help the situation and will only make you feel worse. So best to just focus on what comes next and how to be the best person you can or live more positive. All the above has helped me take life as it comes and appreciate the moments. I hope it may help you. | ||||
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"Ya know we love ya Beau! We need to sort something!" ❤️ | ||||
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"Let me play with Arrow while you watch." Typical man response | ||||
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