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Social meets first
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We get quite a few messages everyday, we reply to some, not all cos saying "hi" just doesn't cut it with us. But when we do reply why do guys suddenly ghost you when you suggest a social meet first?
We've not had a meet for ages cos nobody wants to hold a conversation in person.
Is it only happening to us? |
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We like to have an attraction first, and part of that is chatting and meeting socially. We don't dive straight in, without some interaction first.
We also don't do single guys, as most are just walking dicks, who want sex at the drop of a hat, and think everyone is the same. |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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We also won't meet without a social & we were getting the same issue as you.
Now it's there in the profile so when someone messages now the first thing I say is that I dunt want to wasting their time so have they read the profile.
We either never hear from them again or they say yes & we go from there.
It'd worked well for us recently. It's not perfect but it definitely sorts the wheat from the chaff |
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When I was single and meeting more, I often found some men would go quiet as soon as I said I'd want a social only first.
I figured they either wanted a quick shag or weren't single, so couldn't be seen out with another woman.
Some men thought I'd just invite them straight to mine, after a few messages. |
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By *TinRedCouple 6 weeks ago
Reading |
A social first is a non negotiable with us.
A couple of times it's paid dividends as the people we've met have soon shown their true colours when the penny has dropped that the social really was only just a social! |
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"We like to have an attraction first, and part of that is chatting and meeting socially. We don't dive straight in, without some interaction first.
We also don't do single guys, as most are just walking dicks, who want sex at the drop of a hat, and think everyone is the same."
This is exactly our way of using fab too.
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We like a social first, sometimes solo or sometimes as a couple and find most guys are quite happy to do this. I do chat on here for a while first though and you mostly get a feel for who’s genuine…..does take time and patience though xx |
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By *renzMan 6 weeks ago
Between Chichester and Havant |
I would always expect a social first, you can see if you're going to be compatible. Plenty of flirting and everyone can go away, especially couples and discuss between themselves if they're both on board. |
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We have a quick social and if everyone is happy go back to ours to play.
Works to ease nerves, ensures everyone is comfortable, but also we want to see the sort of person we are inviting into our home!
HW |
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"We get quite a few messages everyday, we reply to some, not all cos saying "hi" just doesn't cut it with us. But when we do reply why do guys suddenly ghost you when you suggest a social meet first?
We've not had a meet for ages cos nobody wants to hold a conversation in person.
Is it only happening to us?"
Op we wouldn't agree to meet anyone for fun unless they have met us for a social you can't get vibes from just chatting to an anonymous messaging on the Internet you need to meet them and connect in real life and if a person isn't willing to do so then they have no chance of being invited into our bed |
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"We get quite a few messages everyday, we reply to some, not all cos saying "hi" just doesn't cut it with us. But when we do reply why do guys suddenly ghost you when you suggest a social meet first?
We've not had a meet for ages cos nobody wants to hold a conversation in person.
Is it only happening to us?"
Not just happening to you OPs. And mostly they will be fake profiles / playing away / keyboard warriors / wanting a wank.
* delete as appropriate.
Don’t take it to hard. It’s a great filter |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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We don’t care so much for the socials, we enjoy getting to know through messaging and build up etc, but at the end of the day we are not on here to make friends, we just want to meet a couple for fucking for our pleasure! Each to their own lol! |
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By *VANDYMan 6 weeks ago
Dawlish |
I’m not lucky enough to have had a one to one meet yet but I would really want a social first. It must be great to get that spark and then the excitement of imagining what might happen between you rather than just turning up and shagging. Each to their own though |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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I just dont think the whole site is genuine tbh. Last weekend we couldnt even get a single meet social wise whilst in york. Nothing well couples anyway. Its becoming hard work. Weve asked for scarborough blackpool york unless our profile is off putting. |
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"Social first for us even a social at a club tends to sort out the wannabes lol"
Agree with a social first. Mutual attraction to talent further is better long term. I’m a bit too nervous/introverted to do a club social though! Not my bag unfortunately which rules out a number of people. |
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The accounts that stop talking once a meet is discussed or arranged at just either fake or time wasters.
Sadly there's a lot of them, and its so frustrating.
For us, the social initially is crucial....we aren't desperate to fuck people.....we also dont want any regrets. We spend time finding the right people.
Those that think socials aren't important....its absolutely fine. It's a good way to know that someone isnt compatible. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 6 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Just use it as a filter OP.
It just clearly indicates you're not compatible.
Personally from a safety aspect, the need to identify proper interest and compatibility, the chance to talk openly about what all parties are looking for and the simple fact that most want to know the online persona and images actually represent the same person in real life....a social is a non negotiable for me/us.
Anyone not willing is a guaranteed no. 🤷♂️ |
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I agree a social first is necessary. Plus it adds to the foreplay if you're going to take them home later..
I'm not always good though and I have my weaknesses. If he gives massages, eats, makes you cum and leaves then it's hard to say no!
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By *cgmcgMan 6 weeks ago
kingston |
The three times I have been asked by a couple for a social first, the guy has turned up on his own, and has failed to follow up.
I remain happy to offer a social, but am sceptical of the outcome. |
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"We get quite a few messages everyday, we reply to some, not all cos saying "hi" just doesn't cut it with us. But when we do reply why do guys suddenly ghost you when you suggest a social meet first?
We've not had a meet for ages cos nobody wants to hold a conversation in person.
Is it only happening to us?"
Hi guys,
Sorry to hear about your experiences of being ghosted.
There's probably many reasons for it. work/ life commitments can get in the way sometimes?
I hope you find a decent fella, you seem like a lovely couple |
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we always do a social 'only' . first we see the face pics, if that appeals to us we chat, get an idea of the person, then social. Never would we invite anyone into our home ,let alone bed, before sussing them out. and wev also had our fair share of no shows and ghosted, but there's always someone else on the horizon willing to put the effort in. |
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We get a lot of “are you free tonight” messages and that’s not our thing. For us it’s about connection and mutual attraction. If that not what the other party are looking for then no problem. It’s clear we aren’t looking for the same type of experience. |
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"We get quite a few messages everyday, we reply to some, not all cos saying "hi" just doesn't cut it with us. But when we do reply why do guys suddenly ghost you when you suggest a social meet first?
We've not had a meet for ages cos nobody wants to hold a conversation in person.
Is it only happening to us?"
I find it difficult to message but I build relationships with people for my job and I am good at it, it’s so impersonal sending a message where as in person you can gauge the body language and respond accordingly.
I am always up for a chat in person |
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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
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I've experienced this a good number of times now.
I try to chat and suggest maybe meeting IRL for a social or few to see if we get along well enough and they go silent and/or block/delete the message.
Chatting on here is one thing but it can all change mood wise in person e.g you might think that they are ok but when you meet in person you suddenly have the hots for them |
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We have been known to go straight from the social meet to playing. Sometimes the attraction and tension is there right from the outset..!
One couple we met, we were their first experience of swinging and Fab. They left our place at around 3am and we’ve been friends since. |
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I always like a social meet 👍 but yeah some people just don’t want to mix fab with anything resembling real life.
I also kind of think they are secretly cheating and don’t want spotted if it’s a big issue |
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By *arkRichMan 5 weeks ago
Manchester City Centre |
Socials are great… dissolves nerves, and can be a laugh… I prefer to be relaxed, and build up a bit of a rapport. And sometimes it leads you to finding out some interesting bits of info that can help when the fun starts… I get why some people can’t or won’t do socials… especially couples. But I think it just adds to the experience, and can lead to regular meets. I’ve also got work via a social meet… a few times - what’s not to like??  |
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Are you not worried about a member of your family seeing you on a social and asking who you are with?
I am single so in a way it doesn't matter, but still I don't want my family knowing about my sex life. |
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"Are you not worried about a member of your family seeing you on a social and asking who you are with?
I am single so in a way it doesn't matter, but still I don't want my family knowing about my sex life. "
No, our family are aware we swing.
But it can be handwaved with a simple old this is an old friend from school/work/etc |
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I prefer a social first. Some have led to great meets later or on the same day. Some have not gone any further because vibe wasn't there or recent one was a nice walk where he lit up a joint... yeh no thanks. 🤣 |
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It's beyond me why anyone would go to any effort to meet without establishing any chemistry 
Now we don't like to chat alot because you never really can tell if it'll work till you meet in person. So we don't do endless back and forth, especially as it may take some time till we can actually meet. However we do like enough chat to establish if there is a connection before meeting in person. Once we have established that connection and its mutual we put the chat on the back burner until we meet in person. But again why would we go out our way to meet without establishing a connection or a warm fuzzy feeling? |
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As to a social we like to keep the pressure off. Go for a drink and see how it goes. While at the same time having booked a room which we keep to ourselves. If it goes well, the chemistry is right and the heat is clearly on now we can simply say we have a room if you fancy coming back. If not or unsure we can keep that to ourselves and enjoy the room (and being away from the kids) ourselves after the social. |
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We prefer to look each other in the eyes with a no strings social.
We're open to taking things further there and then if the vibe is right.
Unfortunately there are quite a few guys on here that only message when their balls are blue.
C |
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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
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I actually prefer socials first as it’s a good ice breaker and everyone is a bit more comfortable if it’s to be taken further. Also gives you a chance to charm and flirt your way into a sexier second date  |
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By *eyeYCouple 5 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"We get quite a few messages everyday, we reply to some, not all cos saying "hi" just doesn't cut it with us. But when we do reply why do guys suddenly ghost you when you suggest a social meet first?
We've not had a meet for ages cos nobody wants to hold a conversation in person.
Is it only happening to us?"
If someone's unprepared to meet with zero expectations we're not prepared to invite them for more.. 👍 |
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Personally I'd always choose to have a social first, meet for a drink and a chat and flirt see if there's an attraction/spark there. If there's not then no harm done and you've avoided a potentially awkward sexual encounter...if there is i find it increases the anticipation for a second more adventurous meet. |
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We always have a social first to see if there is a connection. We were chatting with a couple yesterday and they would not send a picture before meeting. I said how do people know who they are meeting. They said they just know. Do we look like swingers lol
P&K |
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Well a social meet is always the best way to see if there is chemistry and attraction..it goes both ways 
"We get quite a few messages everyday, we reply to some, not all cos saying "hi" just doesn't cut it with us. But when we do reply why do guys suddenly ghost you when you suggest a social meet first?
We've not had a meet for ages cos nobody wants to hold a conversation in person.
Is it only happening to us?"
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