FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Replying to winks OR not? Whats your approach?
Replying to winks OR not? Whats your approach?
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Just curious how others handle this…
If someone gives you a wink, but after reading their profile you realise you’re probably not compatible (different preferences, age range, etc.), do you still send a polite reply, or do you just leave it?
We know people usually wink because there’s some level of interest, so we’d never want a friendly reply to be taken as meaning we’re interested in taking things further and accidentally give the wrong impression.
On the other hand, it also feels a bit rude not to acknowledge someone who’s taken the time to wink. Just because someone isn’t compatible with us doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate their profile or think they seem like lovely people.
Interested to hear how others handle it and what your experiences have been. |
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"We tend to just delete winks of those we don't feel compatible with, and wink back or message the ones we do feel there's something about their profile.
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That’s fair. We were actually thinking of people whose own profile says we’re not what they’re looking for, yet they still wink. That’s what got us wondering. |
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I image the approach for single women or couples is "there are too many to deal with" or something of a similar vein?
For single bloke's, I guess its very much the opposite and wink back/reply? That would be my guess...but I dont get many winks so I cant gove an educated response 😂 |
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"We never send a message in response to a wink. We might wink back if we're interested but 9/10 times it goes no further. If they were genuinely interested they'd message "
This was our approach when we just joined, but thought it could be seen as rude not to reply sometimes.There are the obvious late night/early hours of the morning ,likely d*unken winks,poorly constructed profiles etc that we straight ignore anyway. |
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"I image the approach for single women or couples is "there are too many to deal with" or something of a similar vein?
For single bloke's, I guess its very much the opposite and wink back/reply? That would be my guess...but I dont get many winks so I cant gove an educated response 😂"
Yes..:the amount of winks get a bit too much some days,hence this post |
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"If someone winks us we wink back if we like their profile. If someone winks us and they aren't compatible we just delete the wink as if not it gets time consuming same as messages."
Absolutely this.  |
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"If we get a wink and we like the sound of their profile, we reply saying thanks, and if theyd like to chat, drop us a message"
This is exactly what we do. But 90% of the time we do not get a response to the message.
We find this completely bizarre. Why wink (to show interest) then ignore when you get messaged. Don’t get it. 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️ |
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Obviously being a guy I get maybe 1 wink every few weeks so it’s easy to see. Easy way of showing some interest in me, albeit lazy… if I like their profile I wink back. Two can play the lazy game… |
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We’ve had some great meets after a wink.
After all, we met after winking..!
If we like the look of the profile, we’ll wink back. If there’s no interest from us or they’ve not read our profile and have things we’re not liking for like smoking then we’ll not respond.
We don’t delete as thee repeat winks can be frustrating. |
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By *usurrusCouple 6 days ago
north, north west |
"If someone winks us we wink back if we like their profile. If someone winks us and they aren't compatible we just delete the wink as if not it gets time consuming same as messages."
This ^, plus, if we wink and it's returned we will then message. |
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"If someone winks us we wink back if we like their profile. If someone winks us and they aren't compatible we just delete the wink as if not it gets time consuming same as messages."
We tend not to delete winks as it means the person can’t wink again 😂 |
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"If someone winks us we wink back if we like their profile. If someone winks us and they aren't compatible we just delete the wink as if not it gets time consuming same as messages."
Exactly this 😊 |
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"If someone winks us we wink back if we like their profile. If someone winks us and they aren't compatible we just delete the wink as if not it gets time consuming same as messages.
We tend not to delete winks as it means the person can’t wink again 😂"
This. Knocks persistent offenders away |
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I like the wink system as a single male, as to me it shows that they are possibly interested in me. I will always message if i get a wink but never expect that its a given.
I do send out winks to people who I am interested in (if it states on profile no winks then I wont)
But I understand why couples and single females might not like them as you must get thousands. But from a single male point of view, that doesnt send out tons of messages, it gives me the confidence to at least message and see if it leads to anywhere, and if I wink someone who winks back, then it shows a slight interest.
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"If I like them I respond. If I don't then I won't lol.
What winds me up more is someone winking at me, I respond, and get ignored.
Like why bother??
Exactly. We have also had this a few times 🙄"
Yep this happens, dont understand it at all |
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By *and12Couple 5 days ago
flint |
Used to respond to every wink but found the same person constantly sending a wink so stopped responding now only send a message say thanks if we like the profile and would like to arrange something |
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We will reply to winks,usually with a wink back,if someone really takes our fancy then we will respond with a polite message that usually gets ignored pmsl.
Its not very often we send winks as first contact, we prefer to message |
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"...We know people usually wink because there’s some level of interest..."
•
I've never interpreted a wink as any form of interest; it's a perfunctory gesture that carries little weight or value. I never send winks and rarely look at mine, let alone respond. |
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By *rooMan 5 days ago
Nottinghamshire |
"I genuinely just wink when I’m interested because i feel people get too much messages and wouldn’t want to bump up their inbox"
This, its appreciation and interest not lazy as women, couples get overwhelmed by lots of unwanted messages, if i get a wink back i will then message |
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"If someone winks us we wink back if we like their profile. If someone winks us and they aren't compatible we just delete the wink as if not it gets time consuming same as messages."
I’d love to wink you but you’ve blocked single males, even us bisexual ones! Haha |
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By *lfa RomeoMan 5 days ago
southeast , Herts, Beds |
My approach to winking is, that I will always wink before sending a message, if the other person/s reply then great.
I just find a wink is a good starting point and it cuts down on spending hours writing messages to people, and not getting a reply. |
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Laughing at taken the time to wink. Click one button and immediately go to the next profile to click it there too can get time consuming I guess 😂
Currently I have 2079 unlocked at winks. I'll probably click the button soon so it resets the count. But if that's as much effort as someone is putting in to reaching out to me, even looking at their profile feels like an excessive amount of attention to return 💜 |
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Winks offer the opportunity to reach out to someone you’re interested in without adding to the pile of messages they may have already received. If I receive one, I always send a message of thanks if they seem compatible. Guys have a tough gig on here as messages often go unread and winks are either considered lazy or deleted immediately. |
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Dude we don't reply to messages if they're shit, and a wink is even less effort. They're useful sometimes but certainly not worth a reply, unless their profile actually looks like a potential meet. |
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By *lfa RomeoMan 5 days ago
southeast , Herts, Beds |
My approach to winking is, that I will always wink before sending a message, if the other person/s reply then great.
I just find a wink is a good starting point and it cuts down on spending hours writing messages to people, and not getting a reply. |
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Unless a woman’s profile says not to, I’ll wink occasionally to gauge interest. My profile states I’ll message if someone winks at me but doesn’t like to send the first message. When they have and I’m interested, I’ve messaged them. |
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"If we get a wink and we like the sound of their profile, we reply saying thanks, and if theyd like to chat, drop us a message
This is exactly what we do. But 90% of the time we do not get a response to the message.
We find this completely bizarre. Why wink (to show interest) then ignore when you get messaged. Don’t get it. 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️"
Totally agree. I will reply with a wink. If they want to message then all good. But 9 times out of 10 never hear from them again. |
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