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metal health men don’t talk
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By *obbo2022 OP Man 2 weeks ago
village of the dammed |
well here i am a mental health survivor.
had a mental health breakdown after years of suffering with bi polar got sectioned and placed in mental health unit
spent four weeks
and here i am talking about it.
being in a mental health unit has made me a stronger person.
please men reach out and talk please |
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By *oldmilkMan 2 weeks ago
In trouble, apparently… |
I salute and support you my friend. It takes a certain kind of strength for men to admit to their mental and emotional weaknesses and vulnerabilities.
I’m sure that many of us have had our trials in the past that still continue to invade our present. I’m one of them, I still carry the emotional scars and burden of a childhood I wouldn’t wish on anyone. |
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By *obbo2022 OP Man 2 weeks ago
village of the dammed |
men really need to reach out and talk
don’t let it get it get as bad as mine did.
i’m here for any men who think they have no one
andy’s man club is my go to place there is help out there online and in person
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"well here i am a mental health survivor.
had a mental health breakdown after years of suffering with bi polar got sectioned and placed in mental health unit
spent four weeks
and here i am talking about it.
being in a mental health unit has made me a stronger person.
please men reach out and talk please "
Glad it made you stronger 💪
Keep going forward 🤗
I should talk more, but I find it difficult talking to people I don't know because I feel they don't get me. But I also don't want to talk to friends because I don't like worrying them with my problems. Just appreciate the good moments when I can get them. |
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Ill second the OP as well. I cant say I was 'bad' as I didnt get sectioned or anything, but I had allowed things to overtake rational thinking. It creeps up on you, a bad day becomes a bad week, becomes a bad month, becomes normality.
Im not a talker, so wouldn't benefit from it, BUT by not vocalising to loved ones, I didnt realise I had a problem. Find someone to talk to guys, if its not a friend or family, then a total stranger (Andy manclub or similar).
First signs are when you stop doing things you enjoyed
Depression can cost you everything |
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"men really need to reach out and talk
don’t let it get it get as bad as mine did.
i’m here for any men who think they have no one
andy’s man club is my go to place there is help out there online and in person
"
I volunteer for them, im a facilitator, 100% men should talk, it saves lives! |
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By *ake05Man 2 weeks ago
Dudley |
OP, I'm glad you survived!
I suffer from depression and at first I was ashamed.
I suffer bouts regularly, sometimes very severe where things become very dark, only last week I was in a very dark place. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
I find strength in talking to others and sharing my experiences and if it helps someone, I'm glad.
It's ok not to be ok |
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By *idssissyTV/TS 2 weeks ago
Nr cricket ground birm |
Glad you got help
Have never been sectioned and sometimes think that means people don't believe my issues are real. Because I can eloquently explain what's going on while resisting the demons, many believe my demons are not real. But the only way to prove they are real is to give into them which doesn't go anyone any good |
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It’s good to talk OP. I’m pleased you posted this thread, I’ve had friends pass who didn’t talk and an advocate for men (and women) to talk. It helps so much when you share, I think. Can be tough to for some people and that’s ok. Life can be overwhelming. |
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Well done op for getting things on track
I think some of us men do talk, but most of have mates you just say "shut up dickhead" or is it just my mates?
We need to talk about the steps we can take to get out of our dark shit pit. It might work for some, it might not for others.
When things get bad. No one offered a road map, mind, do we listen? Nope cos motivation fucked off too.
Anyway, I'm rambling, and most people here on fab seem like a decent bunch of humans |
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Each person has their own way of dealing with things and you just need to find out what works for you.
I’m glad you’re doing well OP (and the others). You’ll be surprised, sometimes those on Fab might just get you through it.
 |
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Hi, I’m a mental health survivor, three years ago I lost my business in London, around the same time I lost my mother, I started self medicating and spiralled, tried to section myself twice which didn’t work and then tried taking my life, fortunately I fucked that up. Couldn’t cope and was too proud to seek help, I did eventually but caused so much damage that I brought myself up to Liverpool for a reset. Getting there slowly but still life hard, I have a family back in London but selfishly don’t want to go back there yet, fed up of the rat race , I’m 59 now and just want to plod through the next few years happy not sad |
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I'm struggling. I don't know how much longer I can keep going. Every single night I'm kept awake or woken up because of neighbours music. Been trying to save for months to move and have nothing. Even if I did there's no telling whether it's going to be the same somewhere else. I don't earn enough to get somewhere peaceful and I never will because I'm far too tired to think of how I can improve this shitty situation |
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By *ake05Man 2 weeks ago
Dudley |
"I'm struggling. I don't know how much longer I can keep going. Every single night I'm kept awake or woken up because of neighbours music. Been trying to save for months to move and have nothing. Even if I did there's no telling whether it's going to be the same somewhere else. I don't earn enough to get somewhere peaceful and I never will because I'm far too tired to think of how I can improve this shitty situation"
There is help out there my friend, nothing is a hopeless situation but an opportunity to better things.
Please seek help and support from a professional counsellor, they can also help with your situation, they did with me and it was tough but you will get through this.
Stay strong my friend ❤️ |
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"I'm struggling. I don't know how much longer I can keep going. Every single night I'm kept awake or woken up because of neighbours music. Been trying to save for months to move and have nothing. Even if I did there's no telling whether it's going to be the same somewhere else. I don't earn enough to get somewhere peaceful and I never will because I'm far too tired to think of how I can improve this shitty situation"
. I know how you feel different circumstances but everything is shitty and every day seems the same x I just keep smiling and hope it gets better I’ve had the coinciding and been forgotten about now x dr just keeps giving me pills or fit notes x stay strong x
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By *ewMan2026Man 2 weeks ago
Chester and Liverpool |
Good thread.
The brother of one of my best friends took his own life so my friend group all promised to talk to each other.
I’ve had a terrible year, clinically depressed but I’m through it and getting better.
See the doctor
Speak to your friends, a work colleague, family- anyone - and that includes letting go on here |
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Life can certainly be very tough, when you’re in it, asking for help can seem the toughest thing of all.
Gp’s aren’t the best of people to go to in my humble opinion. At best they’ll want to medicate you, not help you get better.
There are lots of charity organisations that give free advice and free help. They do it because they tend to actually care. I know how hard it can be, but one of the best things you can do, is pick the phone up and have a chat with those out there wanting to get you through. Try to muster the strength to make that call, it could be the start of brighter days for you. |
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"I'm lonely as fuck and not in an Incel I hate and blame women way but an I'm autistic and don't seem to fit into any groups or have the confidence to be what I want to be kind of way"
Wanna talk? |
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No, that's the problem, I can't do small talk and I hate to talk about myself. I find it uncomfortable and forced. Don't worry about me, I'm just being melodramatic. Yes I feel lonely in a loving companion way but I do live a fairly easy and comfortable life. |
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By *ez188Man 2 weeks ago
Bromsgrove |
I also suffer and hide behind my work ethic and a smile. Not been on medication for a while. Dark days are often, when decision making is poor but get through by remembering there’s others in a worse situation than me. |
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"No, that's the problem, I can't do small talk and I hate to talk about myself. I find it uncomfortable and forced. Don't worry about me, I'm just being melodramatic. Yes I feel lonely in a loving companion way but I do live a fairly easy and comfortable life. "
Sounds like me 👍
There's a few people I feel comfortable talking about anything with. But they've known me over 10 years, so it's rare. I don't open up easily, so that's on me. Can be melodramatic at times too 🙄
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"No, that's the problem, I can't do small talk and I hate to talk about myself. I find it uncomfortable and forced. Don't worry about me, I'm just being melodramatic. Yes I feel lonely in a loving companion way but I do live a fairly easy and comfortable life.
Sounds like me 👍
There's a few people I feel comfortable talking about anything with. But they've known me over 10 years, so it's rare. I don't open up easily, so that's on me. Can be melodramatic at times too 🙄
"
There is nobody I truly open up to. I have grown up and spent most of my adult life in toxicly masculine environments where any weakness was jumped on. I never fit in in those environments but I masked and I played my part in them but being a closed book was a method of self preservation. I now know that all of that is bullshit but I can't unlearn what was learned over so many years in the army and as a boxer. I can't believe i said I hate to talk about myself and then write two full paragraphs about myself |
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By *agic.MMan 2 weeks ago
Kent/London |
I'm happy you feel better OP 🙏 and I hope it lasted forever 🙌. I personally am not always comfortable talking about negative thoughts and feelings and prefer a more proactive approach. Sometimes I feel that the same shame tactics used against men to not talk about things have now shifted 180 degrees and are used to force men into talking...regardless if they want to or not. .." real men talk about their feelings " , "strong men are not afraid to open up" |
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"No, that's the problem, I can't do small talk and I hate to talk about myself. I find it uncomfortable and forced. Don't worry about me, I'm just being melodramatic. Yes I feel lonely in a loving companion way but I do live a fairly easy and comfortable life.
Sounds like me 👍
There's a few people I feel comfortable talking about anything with. But they've known me over 10 years, so it's rare. I don't open up easily, so that's on me. Can be melodramatic at times too 🙄
There is nobody I truly open up to. I have grown up and spent most of my adult life in toxicly masculine environments where any weakness was jumped on. I never fit in in those environments but I masked and I played my part in them but being a closed book was a method of self preservation. I now know that all of that is bullshit but I can't unlearn what was learned over so many years in the army and as a boxer. I can't believe i said I hate to talk about myself and then write two full paragraphs about myself "
Sometimes it's just good to put your feelings in writing and get them off your chest 👍
I went to all boys school so grew up in the same masculine environment where emotions were were considered weaknesses, so bottled a lot of stuff up and kept people at a distance.
Hard to put all of that completely behind you, so just try and keep things simple nowadays and appreciate the good moments when they come along 😊
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I guess im a typical man. All my issues and anxieties and boxed up inside and dont get let out, until the box bursts because it can't take it.
At that point you realise who your real friends are and actually realise that just having someone to talk to is such a small thing that gives enormous benefits.
From working alone late in the office as that was a haven, to breaking down in tears during a team meeting, to planning how I would end it, to talking to the samaritans, and then friends and family, I found my way out of the dark and am now happier than I have been for a long time.
So guys, do talk......to anyone. It really does help! |
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"well here i am a mental health survivor.
had a mental health breakdown after years of suffering with bi polar got sectioned and placed in mental health unit
spent four weeks
and here i am talking about it.
being in a mental health unit has made me a stronger person.
please men reach out and talk please "
Well done you. Sounds like you found yourself the help you needed when you needed it most. Hope your journey improves and you have some tools you can use when you have your ups and downs. Great thread also to bring it to people's attention.
For me personally, I don't think one size fits all and "talking about it" for me just makes matters worse. Finding the right person, capable of helping each individuals needs at the right time is better and someone who actually is a professional and not a well meaning amateur. For me there's a lot of damage caused by you tube psychologists and whilst Burnham banks are a lovely idea, I'm not convinced it's going to help. Rather spend the money and address the cause than the symptoms. Which sadly seem to be increasing. |
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Sometimes we can't talk, I can talk about depression or work or house repairs with my male friends but no way in hell can I be frank and open about my Cuckold lifestyle and how my wife occasionally enjoys other men.
With friends we have to put on a brave manly front and tough image which can be difficult |
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Health is wealth. Love yourself first. That means talking to someone about your problems. Therapy, self help books, podcasts, socials. Whatever you need.
We are not alone. We matter. We are worthy. We deserve to be loved. We deserve to be happy. We are appreciated. We are enough. |
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Glad you’re feeling in a better place, Robbo 🙂
I lost a man very close to me to suicide. It was such a tragic loss of someone who was outwardly so fit and healthy but who was hurting so much inside.
Guys, please keep talking. Don’t bottle things up. It’s doesn’t make you weak to admit you’re struggling - it makes you strong.
Make time for yourself. Prioritise your health. Find an outlet for any anger or grief - gym, nature, meditation, music, writing, raving, volunteering.
If you don’t have a big network of family or friends (or would prefer to talk to someone anonymously) there’s lots of other support available 🙏🏼 |
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"well here i am a mental health survivor.
had a mental health breakdown after years of suffering with bi polar got sectioned and placed in mental health unit
spent four weeks
and here i am talking about it.
being in a mental health unit has made me a stronger person.
please men reach out and talk please "
I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share. Sadly, not enough men talk about their problems. The male suicide rates are shocking to look it.
I've had mental health issues since I was 11, and have my good and bad days. It's something I've learned to live with over the years. |
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• CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) - support for men and anyone struggling with mental health, including suicide prevention resources.
• Andy’s Man Club - free, peer-to-peer talking groups for men, with groups across the UK.
• Never Throw In The Towel Project - A movement built on resilience, lived experience, and the power of community
• Men’s Minds Matter - focuses specifically on male suicide prevention and improving understanding of men’s mental health.
• Movember - resources covering mental health, suicide prevention, connection and men’s wellbeing.
• Mind - information and support covering a wide range of mental health issues, with specific resources relevant to men.
• Samaritans - confidential emotional support for anyone struggling to cope.
• ManKind Initiative - support and information for male victims of domestic abuse.
• Men’s Health Forum - UK organisation focused on improving men’s health, including mental health.
• Papyrus - suicide prevention support for young people under 35.
• NHS Every Mind Matters - practical advice and tools for looking after mental wellbeing. |
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" • CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) - support for men and anyone struggling with mental health, including suicide prevention resources.
• Andy’s Man Club - free, peer-to-peer talking groups for men, with groups across the UK.
• Never Throw In The Towel Project - A movement built on resilience, lived experience, and the power of community
• Men’s Minds Matter - focuses specifically on male suicide prevention and improving understanding of men’s mental health.
• Movember - resources covering mental health, suicide prevention, connection and men’s wellbeing.
• Mind - information and support covering a wide range of mental health issues, with specific resources relevant to men.
• Samaritans - confidential emotional support for anyone struggling to cope.
• ManKind Initiative - support and information for male victims of domestic abuse.
• Men’s Health Forum - UK organisation focused on improving men’s health, including mental health.
• Papyrus - suicide prevention support for young people under 35.
• NHS Every Mind Matters - practical advice and tools for looking after mental wellbeing."
Thanks for this.
Knowing where to go and being able to actually access it at the right time is very important. |
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"well here i am a mental health survivor.
had a mental health breakdown after years of suffering with bi polar got sectioned and placed in mental health unit
spent four weeks
and here i am talking about it.
being in a mental health unit has made me a stronger person.
please men reach out and talk please
I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share. Sadly, not enough men talk about their problems. The male suicide rates are shocking to look it.
I've had mental health issues since I was 11, and have my good and bad days. It's something I've learned to live with over the years."
:
Medication didn't help. In fact, it made me worse. The side effects were horrific. I've not touched any psychiatric meds in 6 years now, and feel a lot better as a result. I understand not everyone is able to come off meds though, and doing so without assistance can be potentially lethal. |
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" • CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) - support for men and anyone struggling with mental health, including suicide prevention resources.
• Andy’s Man Club - free, peer-to-peer talking groups for men, with groups across the UK.
• Never Throw In The Towel Project - A movement built on resilience, lived experience, and the power of community
• Men’s Minds Matter - focuses specifically on male suicide prevention and improving understanding of men’s mental health.
• Movember - resources covering mental health, suicide prevention, connection and men’s wellbeing.
• Mind - information and support covering a wide range of mental health issues, with specific resources relevant to men.
• Samaritans - confidential emotional support for anyone struggling to cope.
• ManKind Initiative - support and information for male victims of domestic abuse.
• Men’s Health Forum - UK organisation focused on improving men’s health, including mental health.
• Papyrus - suicide prevention support for young people under 35.
• NHS Every Mind Matters - practical advice and tools for looking after mental wellbeing.
Thanks for this.
Knowing where to go and being able to actually access it at the right time is very important. "
No problem. It’s something that I feel very strongly about.
Forgot to mention, there’s also SHOUT - which is a free, confidential, 24/7 text message support service in the UK for anyone struggling to cope or experiencing a mental health crisis.
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"well here i am a mental health survivor.
had a mental health breakdown after years of suffering with bi polar got sectioned and placed in mental health unit
spent four weeks
and here i am talking about it.
being in a mental health unit has made me a stronger person.
please men reach out and talk please "
Great that you can openly share this OP 👍
I'm 2 complete breakdowns through a historic xxxx against me as a child, he wasn't a family member.
Went through counseling after a 50 year gap.
I'm still here and breathing more comfortably.
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" • CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) - support for men and anyone struggling with mental health, including suicide prevention resources.
• Andy’s Man Club - free, peer-to-peer talking groups for men, with groups across the UK.
• Never Throw In The Towel Project - A movement built on resilience, lived experience, and the power of community
• Men’s Minds Matter - focuses specifically on male suicide prevention and improving understanding of men’s mental health.
• Movember - resources covering mental health, suicide prevention, connection and men’s wellbeing.
• Mind - information and support covering a wide range of mental health issues, with specific resources relevant to men.
• Samaritans - confidential emotional support for anyone struggling to cope.
• ManKind Initiative - support and information for male victims of domestic abuse.
• Men’s Health Forum - UK organisation focused on improving men’s health, including mental health.
• Papyrus - suicide prevention support for young people under 35.
• NHS Every Mind Matters - practical advice and tools for looking after mental wellbeing."
Thank you for the above information 🙏
There is also Proper Blokes Club, which has brancall over London and the South East and is rapidly expanding. It's a walking club effectively allowing any guy with problems or issues to join for a social walk, even if you don't want to talk it's a great way to clear your mind so to speak |
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" • CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) - support for men and anyone struggling with mental health, including suicide prevention resources.
• Andy’s Man Club - free, peer-to-peer talking groups for men, with groups across the UK.
• Never Throw In The Towel Project - A movement built on resilience, lived experience, and the power of community
• Men’s Minds Matter - focuses specifically on male suicide prevention and improving understanding of men’s mental health.
• Movember - resources covering mental health, suicide prevention, connection and men’s wellbeing.
• Mind - information and support covering a wide range of mental health issues, with specific resources relevant to men.
• Samaritans - confidential emotional support for anyone struggling to cope.
• ManKind Initiative - support and information for male victims of domestic abuse.
• Men’s Health Forum - UK organisation focused on improving men’s health, including mental health.
• Papyrus - suicide prevention support for young people under 35.
• NHS Every Mind Matters - practical advice and tools for looking after mental wellbeing.
Thank you for the above information 🙏
There is also Proper Blokes Club, which has brancall over London and the South East and is rapidly expanding. It's a walking club effectively allowing any guy with problems or issues to join for a social walk, even if you don't want to talk it's a great way to clear your mind so to speak "
No problem 🙂 Ah I’ve never heard of that one, perhaps as I’m in the north east. The more support that’s available the better 🙏🏼 |
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Being open and talking about your feeling is a sign of strength to me and definitely not weakness. We all need help from time to time. Always happy to chat with anyone who wants to just open up to someone they are never likely to meet
#itsokaytotalk |
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By *iver78Man 2 weeks ago
barton upon humber |
"I'm the opposite
I feel worse after I've talked about stuff, as it makes it more real.
I prefer to just block it all up and ignore it."
I have to agree same with sympathy etc , I would rather be left alone
Pr people to just carry on as normal around me , iv gone through some hard times and yes it isent nice but talking about things only made me feel worse
Saying that , people react differently, im no good to anyway if there looking for support emotionally,and probably end up taking this and tell them to snap out of it and Crack on. Seems to work with my friends and family but can understand why people see it as uncaring |
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Also have a look to see if there are social groups around if your not a talker/feel talking about it makes it worse. I know in the north east there are regular meet ups for hiking/walking which aims to improve mental health but you dont have to talk about your problems its more finding a community were you can just have a chat about anything with like minded people who are also having hidden struggles. Sometimes just a hey, how are you doing? Can start a conversation without expectations and make you feel seen which is sometimes the littlest things can make a difference. Its the loneliest place to be trapped inside your own head and i will always advocate for mental health. Just because you cant see it doesnt mean its not 10 times as debillitating ❤️ |
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"Also have a look to see if there are social groups around if your not a talker/feel talking about it makes it worse. I know in the north east there are regular meet ups for hiking/walking which aims to improve mental health but you dont have to talk about your problems its more finding a community were you can just have a chat about anything with like minded people who are also having hidden struggles. Sometimes just a hey, how are you doing? Can start a conversation without expectations and make you feel seen which is sometimes the littlest things can make a difference. Its the loneliest place to be trapped inside your own head and i will always advocate for mental health. Just because you cant see it doesnt mean its not 10 times as debillitating ❤️"
👍 |
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"well here i am a mental health survivor.
had a mental health breakdown after years of suffering with bi polar got sectioned and placed in mental health unit
spent four weeks
and here i am talking about it.
being in a mental health unit has made me a stronger person.
please men reach out and talk please "
sounds like was hard times but you have seen that help was good to have so you should be proud of yourself. I no i tend to not talk about my feelings with others as think they not wish no |
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I've not shared this before on here. My first serious boyfriend killed himself. I found him hanging in his bedroom. That visual will stay with me for the rest of my life. It took me years to want to date again. I felt guilty for not spotting that he was struggling as much as he was.
This is why I feel so strongly about the topic of mental health and try to be there for those who are struggling. |
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By *iver78Man 2 weeks ago
barton upon humber |
"Also have a look to see if there are social groups around if your not a talker/feel talking about it makes it worse. I know in the north east there are regular meet ups for hiking/walking which aims to improve mental health but you dont have to talk about your problems its more finding a community were you can just have a chat about anything with like minded people who are also having hidden struggles. Sometimes just a hey, how are you doing? Can start a conversation without expectations and make you feel seen which is sometimes the littlest things can make a difference. Its the loneliest place to be trapped inside your own head and i will always advocate for mental health. Just because you cant see it doesnt mean its not 10 times as debillitating ❤️"
In my friends family circle we dont really talk but we will support each other in other ways.and make sure people feel included even if its just a night out or lads holiday etc make sure there not struggling financially got a roof over there heads. Sometimes I think this kinda support is all thats needed. Talking about stuff I find doesent always help , |
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"Also have a look to see if there are social groups around if your not a talker/feel talking about it makes it worse. I know in the north east there are regular meet ups for hiking/walking which aims to improve mental health but you dont have to talk about your problems its more finding a community were you can just have a chat about anything with like minded people who are also having hidden struggles. Sometimes just a hey, how are you doing? Can start a conversation without expectations and make you feel seen which is sometimes the littlest things can make a difference. Its the loneliest place to be trapped inside your own head and i will always advocate for mental health. Just because you cant see it doesnt mean its not 10 times as debillitating ❤️
In my friends family circle we dont really talk but we will support each other in other ways.and make sure people feel included even if its just a night out or lads holiday etc make sure there not struggling financially got a roof over there heads. Sometimes I think this kinda support is all thats needed. Talking about stuff I find doesent always help , "
Yeah 100% agree i think we need to emphasise the "talking" part doesnt solely have to be about the problem. Sometimes talking to another human or doing a regular activity can help in those moments. |
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"Also have a look to see if there are social groups around if your not a talker/feel talking about it makes it worse. I know in the north east there are regular meet ups for hiking/walking which aims to improve mental health but you dont have to talk about your problems its more finding a community were you can just have a chat about anything with like minded people who are also having hidden struggles. Sometimes just a hey, how are you doing? Can start a conversation without expectations and make you feel seen which is sometimes the littlest things can make a difference. Its the loneliest place to be trapped inside your own head and i will always advocate for mental health. Just because you cant see it doesnt mean its not 10 times as debillitating ❤️
In my friends family circle we dont really talk but we will support each other in other ways.and make sure people feel included even if its just a night out or lads holiday etc make sure there not struggling financially got a roof over there heads. Sometimes I think this kinda support is all thats needed. Talking about stuff I find doesent always help ,
Yeah 100% agree i think we need to emphasise the "talking" part doesnt solely have to be about the problem. Sometimes talking to another human or doing a regular activity can help in those moments."
Indeed. Not everyone is even ready to talk about certain problems, and forcing it can backfire. |
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"I'm happy you feel better OP 🙏 and I hope it lasted forever 🙌. I personally am not always comfortable talking about negative thoughts and feelings and prefer a more proactive approach. Sometimes I feel that the same shame tactics used against men to not talk about things have now shifted 180 degrees and are used to force men into talking...regardless if they want to or not. .." real men talk about their feelings " , "strong men are not afraid to open up" "
I agree with this. Of course no-one should feel ashamed to talk about their feelings/seek help. If you need help, find it - as this thread shows, there is no shortage of resources.
But equally, people should not feel compelled to talk if that's not what will help them. For me, someone approaching me like a living self-help book is really off-putting.
I agree with the above about the importance of a social circle/activities. I know I am lucky - I have good friends and family I can chat to if I want to, and I know that's not true for everyone, but a quick drink with a friend or a game of 5-a-side does more for my mental health than anything else. It doesn't always have to be a deep and meaningful. |
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By *iver78Man 2 weeks ago
barton upon humber |
"Also have a look to see if there are social groups around if your not a talker/feel talking about it makes it worse. I know in the north east there are regular meet ups for hiking/walking which aims to improve mental health but you dont have to talk about your problems its more finding a community were you can just have a chat about anything with like minded people who are also having hidden struggles. Sometimes just a hey, how are you doing? Can start a conversation without expectations and make you feel seen which is sometimes the littlest things can make a difference. Its the loneliest place to be trapped inside your own head and i will always advocate for mental health. Just because you cant see it doesnt mean its not 10 times as debillitating ❤️
In my friends family circle we dont really talk but we will support each other in other ways.and make sure people feel included even if its just a night out or lads holiday etc make sure there not struggling financially got a roof over there heads. Sometimes I think this kinda support is all thats needed. Talking about stuff I find doesent always help ,
Yeah 100% agree i think we need to emphasise the "talking" part doesnt solely have to be about the problem. Sometimes talking to another human or doing a regular activity can help in those moments."
Fully agree , popping to see someone and talking about things that already going round there heads doesent always help the sufferer , but may help people feel like there helping them , its easy to talk , not so easy to take the time to actually help
Let's face it , a simplistic scenario, your mates gf runs of with milk man !! Do you want a mate to talk to you or do you wanna forget about it and move on ?
Your wife leaves you ? Very sad but if you can not have to worry about money , being homeless etc it makes it a little easier to cope with
Again lol just my opinion  |
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My situation in part was similar to the op.
Before I go on some of this could trigger people all of following is true and correct.
For many years I used to bottle things up it became a natural self preservation routine.
I reached a breaking point initially in 2004 where in essence I had full on meltdown resulting in being sectioned for my own safety I was a very unpleasant person while in there frustration,anger etc as I did not want to be around anymore.
The staff on the ward were fantastic even though at time I saw them as being in my way.
The thoughts never went away
Eventually after I had been planning for long time my demise I had took the ultimate step, I was found and lot of it to this day I do not recall all I know now is I had to be brought back 3 times in 45 minutes and I was clinically not here anymore, all on my medical records.
The thoughts never go away usually can be managed better.
Nowadays I am more open about my mental health because by rights I should be here.
A strange this which bizarrely made me fight more was after a break up with a now ex was she was aware of state I was in rung me out of blue while in my car feeling very low and said if you are going to do it she will wait until I did it.
Obviously that upset me but I thought fk that nobody is dictating what I do and that gave me the fire in my belly to fight harder.
For men in in particular Tyson Fury the world heavyweight boxing came out and opened up about his own mental health issues and since then there are now lots of places for men to go abd get help and support
I truly hope this has not triggered anyone but these things are a reality for some folk struggling |
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By *idssissyTV/TS 2 weeks ago
Nr cricket ground birm |
7 years ago I was preparing for a friend's birthday party and all of a sudden found myself in front of a mirror saying do it. I didn't because I didn't want my friend to associate her birthday with that memory.
Almost every day the thoughts are there but the pain caused to my mother is what stops me. But few would know as I look totally normal from the outside but also know how easily I could just disappear without many noticing |
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By *obbo2022 OP Man 2 weeks ago
village of the dammed |
being sectioned is nothing to be ashamed off.
i was sectioned in st george’s hospital morpeth
they gave me the tools to deal with anything life could possibly throw at me.
here i am 6years down the road a mental health survivor
still have bad days some really bad but i know i have people who i can rely on
some come on men start the talk check in with your male friends |
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A really thoughtful thread and I know that I've had some interaction with some of you on here. I am now off sick myself from work, attending talking therapies and they suggested I chatted about medication with my doctor. Long and short of it, my anxieties were filtering from work to other areas of my life, my doc is trying me on medication. It's early days, I'm trying hard. There are negative thoughts but fortunately nothing of a more serious nature. I'll see how I go! |
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Appreciate your openess and vulnerability op.
If people find it hard to talk, consider journalling, it doesn't need to make sense or be lots and lots of words, its your space, make it what you want, no one needs to see, it gets it from swimming round your head onto paper and helps you connect, take some control.
My inbox is open if anyone wants to chat or leave a journal note.
Take care |
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"No, that's the problem, I can't do small talk and I hate to talk about myself. I find it uncomfortable and forced. Don't worry about me, I'm just being melodramatic. Yes I feel lonely in a loving companion way but I do live a fairly easy and comfortable life.
Sounds like me 👍
There's a few people I feel comfortable talking about anything with. But they've known me over 10 years, so it's rare. I don't open up easily, so that's on me. Can be melodramatic at times too 🙄
There is nobody I truly open up to. I have grown up and spent most of my adult life in toxicly masculine environments where any weakness was jumped on. I never fit in in those environments but I masked and I played my part in them but being a closed book was a method of self preservation. I now know that all of that is bullshit but I can't unlearn what was learned over so many years in the army and as a boxer. I can't believe i said I hate to talk about myself and then write two full paragraphs about myself "
Just keep going. I notice that you have a pic wearing bibshorts. Do you ride?
I find riding is my go to place to reset my head. If I have not been out on my bike for a few days I really feel the effects on my mood and mental health.
I hit a very low point a few years back. Was diagnosed with a breakdown. I am happy to say I am better now. But I do feel at times, I am not far away from heading down thag road if I am not careful. So for me cycling has become my happy place.
DM me if you want to chat cycling and any other shite. |
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"No, that's the problem, I can't do small talk and I hate to talk about myself. I find it uncomfortable and forced. Don't worry about me, I'm just being melodramatic. Yes I feel lonely in a loving companion way but I do live a fairly easy and comfortable life.
Sounds like me 👍
There's a few people I feel comfortable talking about anything with. But they've known me over 10 years, so it's rare. I don't open up easily, so that's on me. Can be melodramatic at times too 🙄
There is nobody I truly open up to. I have grown up and spent most of my adult life in toxicly masculine environments where any weakness was jumped on. I never fit in in those environments but I masked and I played my part in them but being a closed book was a method of self preservation. I now know that all of that is bullshit but I can't unlearn what was learned over so many years in the army and as a boxer. I can't believe i said I hate to talk about myself and then write two full paragraphs about myself
Just keep going. I notice that you have a pic wearing bibshorts. Do you ride?
I find riding is my go to place to reset my head. If I have not been out on my bike for a few days I really feel the effects on my mood and mental health.
I hit a very low point a few years back. Was diagnosed with a breakdown. I am happy to say I am better now. But I do feel at times, I am not far away from heading down thag road if I am not careful. So for me cycling has become my happy place.
DM me if you want to chat cycling and any other shite."
I ride, hike, kayak and surf. They are my happy places but they are all solo activities for me. Other people involved would ruin my tranquility lol |
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So good you got through OP kudos to you for putting it out there as yes us men dont open up as we should!
Gone through a bad situation after domestic violence - and yes us men can be victims too - so went through a bad separation abd divorce- destruction of confidence cos us men have to be strong so they say…man up, get over it!!!
Easy to say. Terrible to self administer!
On top of that redundancy then trying to find somewhere “safe” to live and adjust, survive on little or nothing…go through the benefits rigmarole etc etc - but I was determined it wouldn’t define me. Slowly but surely tiny steps and all that and getting out for walks each day…confidence slowly returning…then one day while sat on a bench as I would do just people watching, contemplating life…a random person passed me a note.
On it written so simply “The story ends well”
Hit home…I was going to be ok
Cane on fab, made some acquaintances, not many meets as such but good chats, messages, etc
An Angel from here bought me new walking trainers and gave me a lifeline!
Since then, I found a new job, new friends and freedom when I got a car again after over 12 months not driving etc
Been to 2 swingers clubs, met new people, love it!
Next up try to find better place to live and travel more
Sorry for my waffle but it goes to show that things happen, but you can bounce back…never let the situation define you - you got this!
I wish you well and very happy fabbing…
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