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How to initiate?
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"How to approach at clubs?
I’m
Never sure how to tell people in a club I’m interested and find out if they are "
At our V2V club in Nuneaton we often play a lot of ice breaker games. It makes it a lot easier for couples and singles to introduce themselves to others x
Mrs N |
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By *WB85Man 5 weeks ago
Staffordshire |
Honestly clubs are so relaxed and people tend to be very approachable.
Just spark some general chit chat and see how it goes. It will either become very clear they're interested or in some cases they will tell you they aren't interested.
Don't let the fear of rejection put you off.
I hope you pluck up the courage and have some amazing times.
 |
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Just be polite ,as a couple in a swingers club any guy that approached us politely we always chatted if we liked we arranged for later on or told them to fab us and we would meet up at some point, or just went to a room and a thresome,just say hello make conversation you can tell if the couple are not interested just politely move on, it's about respect both ways ,Enjoy . |
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Go in covered in sticky notes with all sorts of potential ice breakers and things - spare notes and a sharpie is always handy too, but (speaking from experience) try to stick with a simple black sharpie - some colours are impossible to see under certain colour lights |
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We never can tell if a couple likes us or not and we have had times where we e haven’t dared make the first move and neither have they but they then messaged on here to say they were interested and we all least know for next time! We are too shy to ever make the first move ! |
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"How to approach at clubs?"
What are you looking for? If it's guys, then they'll probably come and find you at a club, so you'll need to think more about how to say no.
If it's couples, then they're less likely to approach you, but they're probably always open to a chat with a single woman. |
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The bit we find more difficult is not the initial approach, it's turning a nice social interaction into actual action. From experience lots of people don't like to make the first move. So often the best option is to take the lead and call it.
The kiss test works well for us. If you fancy someone/s and its going well just say shall we kiss/would you like to kiss? If they are enthusiastic about that you have your answer. Then you kiss and this allows you to gauge that sexual chemistry before you take it futher. If it's hot you can tell you'll have no problems taking this to a room or it just naturally rolls on into something more without pause. If the kiss doesn't work well you can just say thank you and move on.
As to joining into action ongoing in a club, maybe in a group play room for example that's easier. It's just checking consent to join in something active. Sometimes it's a easy as making a bit of eye contact and a smile reciprocated. Then a little whisper in the ear, would you like to kiss, can I do this, would you that etc.
The other thing to say is if you're unsure but intrested (I am terrible with gauging social cues) just go for it. In my experience generally if you think that intrest is possibly there it generally is. Many has a great thing not happened in a club between mutually intrested parties because no one made the big move. It happens a lot.
Mr |
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I've chatted to couples in clubs before and have had polite friendly conversations. The tricky bit I find is knowing when to suggest something more than polite chat. As a single guy, I'm particularly nervous about coming across as pushy but I'm wondering if I'm too hesitant sometimes. Is it ok just to come out and ask if they're interested if everyone's getting on ok? |
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My experience, once, at chameleons people were very friendly and asking about other clubs seemed to work, the other questions were where are you from and what do you do? I find asking about employment a weird one, but asking about clubs seemed a good opening... like I hadn't ever so why was I interested and why did I end up in that one. |
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Last time we went to VA, as I was waiting for Debs to get ready to leave, a guy asked me about the best way to approach couples.
He was polite, personable and I know Debs would have been attracted to him and I told him to just speak and introduce himself and that a lot of couples would make it clear if they were interested.
I know that had he spoken earlier we would have been. |
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When I’m with my friend we have a code for when we are talking to another couple or a single guy. Three nips for a yes. If i get three nips back, then I will initiate with the other side by saying.
“We’ve really enjoyed chatting to you tonight. We are going to get a room now, if you want to join us that would be great, if not we hope you have a good night”. |
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As a single bloke, who isn't God's gift or over confident I find it difficult in clubs. A smile from one or both of a couple goes along way to start conversation. But to be honest, it's such a relief when couples make the first move, as a guy I don't want to be a pest.
Any further advice would be very welcome! |
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"When I’m with my friend we have a code for when we are talking to another couple or a single guy. Three nips for a yes. If i get three nips back, then I will initiate with the other side by saying.
“We’ve really enjoyed chatting to you tonight. We are going to get a room now, if you want to join us that would be great, if not we hope you have a good night”. "
This is a great idea/advice!
We’re pretty new and it’s hard to know how to move things from polite chat to fun as well as not making it really obvious in asking Mr If he’s also interested.
I think we’re going to try this approach tomorrow at Alchemy and see how we get on.
Thanks for sharing - Mrs x |
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"How to approach at clubs?
I’m
Never sure how to tell people in a club I’m interested and find out if they are "
A woman came up to my wife in a club said “wow your boobs are amazing, can I come and play with you…”
5 mins later there were five of us in a playroom… |
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i have never not talked to anyone in a club ill talk to all and i find most that way ... you may get a few couples who wont as they have there little click ..
now i dont mean to be or sound off when i say this but anyone who has no social skills or poor social skills tend not to do very well ... dont over think it imagine your in a pub no sex talk unless ''they '' start it .. only you can make the social side happen and most swinger who use clubs are normally polite and if someone says no thanks dont beat yourself up a being told no thanks may happen alot even in clubs. |
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By *rK MrsJCouple 3 weeks ago
Kidderminster |
"How to approach at clubs?
I’m
Never sure how to tell people in a club I’m interested and find out if they are "
We've been going to a club from day 1 but I (mr) still find it difficult to ask ladies if they would like to play, some one on fab suggested wrist bands to say you find it difficult to ask. |
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At clubs, wear a towel from your waist to your ankles and keep your wanking hand vigorously engaged with your winkle, furiously trying to get some life into it. Very soon, males might proposition you.
It's uncertain, however,if the technique will work on women. Best to just ask their boyfriends if you can watch. Usually they will say yes but no touching... |
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"i have never not talked to anyone in a club ill talk to all and i find most that way ... you may get a few couples who wont as they have there little click ..
now i dont mean to be or sound off when i say this but anyone who has no social skills or poor social skills tend not to do very well ... dont over think it imagine your in a pub no sex talk unless ''they '' start it .. only you can make the social side happen and most swinger who use clubs are normally polite and if someone says no thanks dont beat yourself up a being told no thanks may happen alot even in clubs."
I appreciate your thoughts however I’d like to add that lack of social could suggest someone has autism in which case they would find it hard to approach people regardless of the situation. In our experience when you visit a pub you’ll find people sat glued to their phones or already sat amongst friends. We find clubs more friendly overall. |
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Sometimes it is better to not have to many expectations, if you look like Renaldo I expect a few people will chat to you, just like in normal life not everyone who talks to you wants to have sex with you. |
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When we have a first social meet with another couple, we would only of got to this stage if there was a physical interaction so flirting is only a natural progression, for us a social is just that with no pressure nor expectations, we never put the other couple on the spot either & prefer when bringing the meet to an end to actually say that as we can all contact oneanother later & confirm if we all want to take it further (some often prefer this non pressured way) Although every now & then the social goes so well that its pretty obvious that all involved want to move forward - in a club environment we like to be positive social butterflies & if we see someone we would really like to play with,we make the effort of chatting with them & try & gauge how they feel, if we cant, we'll simply leave them with a parting message something like "it's been loving chatting with you, we're going off to play & it'd be lovely if after you've finished your drinks if you'd like to join us" again no instant pressure on others, but one thing we've learnt is if you dont ask you dont get lol |
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